“Nick, you’re an hour late. This is no longer acceptable. You’re not fourteen anymore, man. I expect you to show up on time. You really need to take some responsi…”

Nick Carter stared at the oldest band mate, eyes glazed, nodding his head every now and then. While Kevin lectured him, Nick was thinking about how to beat the last level of his video game which he played into the hours of the morning. He thought about how many times he had been killed off the night before and giggled.

“Nickolas Gene Carter! Are you even listening to me?” Kevin yelled. It was loud.

“Wha?”

“That’s it. I’ve had enough! Nick, you’re impossible!”

Nick rolled his eyes in exasperation. As far as Nick could remember, this was a reoccurring conversation that had been going on for years. “Oh come on, Kevin, we go through this every single time.”

“Yeah, and you still haven’t learned.” Kevin’s nostril’s flared as his face flashed red. He was really getting worked up.

“Geez, just accept that this is who I am.”

“No, Nick, this isn’t who you are. You can show up on time. You can clean up after yourself. You can think before you speak. You just need a little—never mind.” He stopped when his cousin, Brian, placed a hand upon the tall man’s shoulder.

Kevin grunted as he walked past everyone, bumping his shoulder into Nick. “Let’s just get to work now that everybody is here.” He said as he took his position in fron of the mirror.

They performed their dance moves flawlessly. After years of doing the routine, the boys had plenty of practice. Worked up from the dances, they took a ten minute water break.

Howie received a phone call and wandered to a remote part of the studio. AJ and Nick quickly escaped to sneak a few smokes outside. Remaining inside were the Kentucky natives, chatting over family affairs. After a few minutes of updates, the conversation quickly shifted to Nick.

“I really hate him sometimes, Brian. And I don’t feel bad for saying it because I love him to death! So, it’s okay for me to dislike him because I’ll always love him no matter what.”

“That…doesn’t really make any sense. How can you hate someone and love them at the same time? Hate is a pretty strong word, as mama used to say...”

Kevin narrowed his eyes and shot a scowling glance to his smaller cousin that said "you know what I mean". Brian tensed up and cocked his head back in defense.

“I mean, yeah, I understand.”

. . .

Outside, Nick finished his second cigarette. He threw the butt on the ground, grinding it down with his foot.

“I’m going to head inside, man.” He told his tattooed band mate as he blew his last drag out. AJ took a drag from his cigarette and nodded his head. Nick took off to return to the studio.

As he walked through the door, he faintly heard his name coming from what sounded like Kevin. As he got closer to the room, he heard his best friend and eldest brother’s voices loud and clear. He leaned against the wall that separated Nick from the cousins, concentrating on eavesdropping.

. . .

Inside the room Kevin let out a sigh of annoyance. “He needs to face up to responsibility. I mean, even the littlest things, Brian, he can’t do! Sometimes I wonder if he can do them. After years of telling him to do something, I question if he's smart enough. You know?” He made a punching motion in the air, letting his hands swing back down to his sides.

“I understand, Kevin, but it’s been over ten years now. I think if you’re nagging him would have worked, it would’ve been a lot sooner.”

“I know. It’s just he makes me so mad. And then I begin to hate him…”

“Yeah, that’s Nick! He knows just how to push everyone’s buttons,”

Nick slowly turned the corner of the studio wall, revealing his presence to the two men. His face tight with a vicious glare, he crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the other side of the wall that was covered with mirrors. Kevin and Brian watched their reflections in the mirrors ahead of them, observing their helpless expressions.

Nick finally spoke, his voice low and spiteful. “You guys are unbelievable, talking behind my back like a pair of high school gossip queens! That’s fucked up! Some brothers you are!” Nick threw his hands into the air and spun back around. “I’m outta here!”

Before either man could object, he was gone. As they stood in silence, they could hear the squeal of Nick’s tires and the hazy sound of AJ’s voice calling after him.

“Oh shit.” Kevin buried his face into his hand.

Howie returned to the guys just as AJ was walking back into the studio himself.

“What happened?” AJ and Howie both asked in unison. It was apparent that Brian and Kevin were upset by their demeanor. Brian pouted while looking up to Kevin. He felt horribly guilty. He knew it wasn’t fun to hear someone talk about him behind his back. And the fact that two of Nick’s best friends were the ones doing the talking only made Brian feel worse.

“Nick overheard us talking about him and his lack of responsibility.”

AJ rolled his eyes. “That’s it? That's why he stormed off? What a baby!” He shook his head as he chuckled. AJ, each guy in fact, was used to Nick’s little temper tantrums. They were frequent enough to be expected. In fact, it was the norm.

Kevin dug the toe of his boot into the smooth wooden floor. “I have a feeling that this time he’s really pissed.”

Nick accepted the menu he had just been handed from Howie and began searching through the restaurant’s various dishes. He didn’t have to look through the menu; he already knew what he wanted—a big juicy T-bone steak. But the Friday night spent with the other four Backstreet members had been tense so far. So his menu served as a distraction from looking at his band mates.

Ever since the incident at the dance studio three days ago, Nick was giving Kevin the silent treatment and only talking to AJ, Howie, and Brian at a minimum. Numerous times the boys, except Kevin, had approached Nick in attempt to resolve the issue, but Nick stood his ground. He planned on dragging this one out in order to prove his point. Until Kevin apologized, he wasn’t going to back down.

Tonight though, AJ had popped in at Nick’s Malibu beach house to confront him of his childish behavior. He blatantly stated that he was getting tired of both Nick and Kevin’s PMS attitude and wanted them to just get over it.

“You both need to stop acting like a fucking chick on the rag!” he said as soon as he walked through Nick’s door.

He had persisted that Nick come out with him for dinner to talk about it, and although reluctant, Nick accepted. They took off in AJ’s black Escalade and on the drive to the restaurant in Santa Monica; AJ had reassured Nick that the guys wouldn’t be joining them at dinner. However, as soon as the two stepped into the building, Nick saw that AJ had lied.

“You asshole,” Nick hissed in AJ’s ear as they rounded the large table. “You promised me!”

“It was the only way I knew that you would come,” AJ replied as he pulled a chair out to sit.

Now, as Kevin tried to make small talk with everyone, Nick had a sudden urge to throw his menu on the table, get up, and walk out. He didn’t want to sit and watch Kevin pretend that he didn’t do anything wrong and he especially did not want Brian staring at him like some damn puppy dog! Yet he knew he couldn’t just leave.

But as soon as Kevin opened his mouth to talk to him, Nick knew he would not be able to sit through a whole night together.

“So Nick, could you explain why you didn’t answer your phone last night? I think your agent and I called you about seven times trying to inform you of a interview we have tomorrow. Management chewed my ass out for not being able you reach you.”

So he couldn’t just walk out, but he could escape to the bathroom for a few moments.

“I’m going to go take a piss,” Nick stated as he got up from his seat and looked around.

When he went to push his chair in, he heard Kevin reply.

“I was in the middle of talking to you, Nick. Don’t you think it’s kind of rude to dismiss yourself while someone is talking to you?”

This pushed Nick to the edge. What nerve does Kevin have in lecturing me about this? He hasn’t even apologized for talking behind my back yet!

Nick just scoffed and turned around, but not before muttering “Fuck this shit…” as he stormed off to leave.

. . .

After placing their orders with the waiter, Kevin sat impatiently for Nick to return. When their food had arrived, he knew it had been too long.

“Where the hell is he?” Kevin wondered. “I’m going to go check in the bathroom.”

“No use, man. He ain’t there,” Brian shook his head. “He ditched us.”

Kevin groaned as he took his heads into his hands “Why can’t we just have a normal night out without any drama?”

The others could only shrug their shoulders in response.

. . .

When Nick had exited the restaurant, he immediately reached for his cigarettes. When he didn’t feel the square pack anywhere on him, he grunted. He had left his pack on his desk in his office.

He ran his fingers through his short blonde locks and began to walk to the parking lot when he realized that AJ had driven to the restaurant, not him. He had no cigarettes and no ride.

“Shit,” he huffed. There wasn’t a convenient store around, only posh looking restaurants and boutiques.

Nick slowly began to stroll the streets of Santa Monica aimlessly, searching for a place to buy a pack of smokes.

Soon, he began getting wrapped up in his thoughts about the boys and tonight’s get ‘together’.

Nick felt bad that he had just walked out on the boys. He knew he was going to have hell to pay from Kevin. Kevin would yell that he had been disrespectful to just dismiss himself, probably stressing the fact that Nick had lied about leaving. He led him to believe that he was in the restroom. Oh yes, Kevin would just jump at the chance to chew Nick’s ass out about it. Because he was Mr. ‘Perfect’.

Nick hated it, he really did. Throughout all his years of being a Backstreet boy, he found out one sure thing. He could never be like Kevin.

Kevin was punctual. Kevin was smart and didn’t screw up his sentences during interviews. Kevin knew how to respect his elders and not walk out on his friends at restaurants. Kevin was a gentleman to everyone. Kevin never got pulled over for DUI’s and didn’t party with bitchy heiresses. Kevin had the ‘prefect’ marriage with the ‘perfect’ woman, living in the ‘perfect’ house. Yup, all of those qualities Nick seemed to lack. And after failed attempts of trying to be like Kevin, Nick finally gave in.

But to his defense, Nick was only the classic ‘Nick’ because that’s what everyone soon pegged him as at an early age. “Oh, Nick’s late again?” they would say. “Nick is always late!” So Nick started to frequently show up late knowing that everyone already figured he would be. “Oh, Nick’s whining again?” they would say. “Nick always whines!” Soon, Nick found himself whining just for the sake of playing along to his given part. Eventually, Nick began to take on his so-called mannerisms as if they were a part of him all along. It became second nature to him, and soon, it was him.

And now, he wondered, could I stop all this shit and grow up?

Nick’s thoughts were quickly shifted when he heard loud shouts from a group of teenagers. Suddenly he found himself standing along the Santa Monica pier. Almost confused as to how he wound up there, he turned to walk away from the beach. Yet, something was pulling at Nick, telling him not to go back. He scanned the pier and the beach below it. Then his eyes rest on the amusement park that sat just along the end. Pacific Park.

Nick walked through the entrance and up to the ticket booth. He paid for his unlimited rides ticket and entered the park with no intention to ride any of them at all. As he passed by the kiddy rides and small game booths asking himself why he was here, Nick was unaware that this night would introduce a new character who would turn his life upside down.