Chapter 1

Fear and anger can consume a person. When left to spread through out the entire being of a person, the results are most often deadly. Pent up rage seeks release, impairing even the best of judgement. This rage often comes from years of devistating losses and not being accepted. This rage has the chance to build in anyone that does not have the strength or the patience to fight it off. Slowly reaching peaks that were once unknown. Fighting off this rage becomes that much harder with each passing day as it becomes stronger and you lose control. Soon you become blinded by this now unstopable force. Doing things that could hurt you and others. Never stopping once to think about the things that have been done, becoming all the more reckless as it progresses.

Loved ones also feel the pain. They suffer because of the pain that you are willing to inflict upon them. Numbing your feelings to the world. No longer knowing happiness, or love. Constantly dealing with having no emotions. Living life not caring about anything. Not making anything happen for yourself. Instead, your lack of emotions tear everything down, never once phasing you. In some cases, this rage can strike without warning. Sneaking up on the individual who is experiencing the emotion, as well as those closest to them.

Nickolas Carter was one of the unfortunate people in the world that had to embark on this life changing journey. From the outside, things appeared as if they were perfect for him. In a very short period of time he had in a sence conquered the world. Millions of people knew his name. Woman desired him and men despised him for everything that he had. He loved the feeling that ran through his veins when he looked out into a crowd and knew that he had complete control over them. Anything that he told them, they would believe. That's helped make everything work out.

"Carter get your ass out of there! We have to be at the press conference in twenty-four minutes!" Kevin Richardson, self proclaimed guardian of the group of men known to the world as the BackStreet Boys, yelled as he pounded on the door. Groaning, Nick turned over and placed the pillow over his head, hoping to drown out all the noise that Kevin was creating.

"Nick, buddy, you have to come out of there," came the always calm and relaxed voice of Howie D. Never did he let the situation take control of him. Throughout anything, he was able to maintain his cool.

"Just go without me," Nick called back groggily.

"Kiddo, you have to go," Howie replied, "this is the only thing that we have to do today. So come on and let's get it over with alright?"

"I just wanna stay in bed D," Nick informed Howie. Kevin looked over at Howie as if to say I could have done that much. Howie grinned and went back to talking to Nick through the hotel door which was standing between them.

"I know you do. We all want to but we gotta do this. It's part of the job description."

"Fine," Nick answered, hoping that he could just spend the rest of the day relaxing in bed. Normally he liked to go out and experience new things, but today, he was just too tired.

"I told you I could get him out of there without yelling," Howie said to Kevin, "you owe me twenty bucks there Kev."

"Shut up," Kevin snapped playfully as he handed his friend a twenty dollar bill.

"Easy money," Howie answered as he placed the bill into his pocket and walked away. Kevin shook his head and walked down the hall to ensure that the others were awake. Satisfied that they were, he decided that he would get a quick run down from their manager as to what the conference would consist of.

Nick threw the covers off of him self and stumbled towards the shower. All he had to do was just show up at this stupid thing. He didn't really have to say anything unless something was directed towards him, which almost never seemed to happen because Kevin was always happily explaining everything for them. Nick only required a few moments in the shower. It wasn't as if he was going to be spending the entire day out and about.

He sighed as he pulled on his last bit of clothing and walked into the hallway of the hotel. He wasn't afraid of running into fans because this floor was off limit to them so that the men could have their peace.

"Hey Kaos," AJ McLean said as he saw Nick walking in the hallways. Nick turned to face him and he was met by the very familiar tattoos that dawned his body. His eyes were covered by a pair of dark tinted sunglasses and a hat sat upon the top of his head.

"Hey J," Nick answered, before yawning.

"Out late last night?" AJ questioned remarking about look of pure exhaustion that was on Nick's face.

"Nah, I just couldn't sleep," he answered.

"Were you alone?" AJ asked as he raised one eye brow and continued to glare at Nick.

"Yes AJ I was."

"Are you sure? Wasn't Lena supposed to fly out here one day?" AJ asked refuring to Nicks long time girlfriend.

"I'm picking her up at the airport today," Nick answered as he started to walk towards the personel elevator which they had been given the freedom to use as they pleased to help them avoid being attacked by a mob of young fans. Nick extended his arm and pressed the button for the elevator.

"So what are you guys going to do once she gets here?"

"Does it really matter AJ?" Nick asked as he looked towards his friend.

"Hey, I just wanted know if any of us were getting any."

"What's it with you and wanting to know about everyone's sex life?" Nick asked curisouly. AJ grinned at him.

"I dunno," AJ shrugged, "but you have to admit that it does make for good conversation when you talk to the right people."

"So when you talk to people you just out and say 'how's your sex life goin' for ya?'"

"No of course not," AJ replied, "I wait a bit then I casually sneak it into the conversation so they don't think I'm some pervert."

"They're going to think you're a pervert no matter how late you put that into the conversation," Nick pointed out. The elevator doors opened and AJ and Nick stepped in. Nick pressed the button to bring them to the lobby and the doors shut as the elevator began its decent.

"What exactly is this conference about anyway?" AJ asked.

"I have no idea, but you know Kevin, he's probably going to do most of the talking anyway so it doesn't even matter."

"Yeah I guess you're right," AJ replied as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes along with his lighter. Once he lit one, he placed the pack and the lighter back into his pocket.

"I just want to get this shit over with already," Nick commented as he leand his head against the wall of the elevator.

"I'm with ya buddy," he answered after taking a puff of his cigarette, "we should just send Kevin to do it."

"Like he would. He'd probably try and tell us some shit about having to do things as a group but in the same breath tell us that we shouldn't say anything that he doesn't like. It's like he thinks were going to fuck things up."

"We probably would," AJ explained, "Kev has saved our asses a couple of times."

"I know but I just hate being treated like a little kid."

"That's just how Kevin is so get used to it kiddo."

"It's been almost ten years J. You'd think that he'd leave me alone for a while and let me figure things out for myself."

"He's just lookin' out for ya. He cares."

"Yeah well I wish he'd back off a little."

"Good luck trying to explain that one to him," AJ responded.

"I shouldn't have to explain anything," Nick countered.

"Yo, I'm behind you one hundred percent but....," he began but his voice soon trailed off. Nick looked at him questioningly, his anger building.

"But what AJ?"

"Nothing."

"What? Are you trying to tell me that I need Kevin to do all this shit for me?" Nick snapped.

"Woah, chill man, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that Kevin isn't the kind of guy that I would want to piss off alright? That's it." The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Kevin was standing there with the other guys along with some managers and people of that sort.

"Put that out AJ," Kevin ordered when he saw the cigarette in his hand. AJ rolled his eyes and took a few more puffs before putting it out. Nick looked down at AJ, his eyes saying 'you see what I'm talking about.'

"So what are we doing?" AJ asked as he walked futher into the room.

"We're getting ready for the conference," Kevin replied, "where've you been?"

"Upstairs."

"It's going to be short thing. Just a few questions about the next album and dismiss all the rumors about us breaking up," Howie informed AJ.

"Thanks D."

Chapter 2

Nick walked quickly out of the conference room once the meeting had been called to an end. He felt like if he spent another moment in there he was going to die from complete boredom. Nick reached out and rang the bell for the elevator. He sighed as he waited for it to arrive.

"When do you have to go get Lena?" Brian Littrell, Nicks best friend in the group asked.

"In about an hour and a half," Nick replied.

"Bet you can't wait to see her again."

"You're right. I miss her, it's going to be nice to see her again," Nick commented as he glanced up to see what floor the elevator was at.

"I'm sure. I'd like to know what she's been up to it's been so long since I last talked to her," Brian replied.

"Is Leighanne coming out?"

"No, she's staying at home. She isn't ready to travel just yet. The baby is only a couple of months old. I have to give her a little more time to adjust to the idea."

"So why don't you fly home for a few days, I mean we're just going to be hanging around her doing nothing anyway," Nick suggested, "I was going to do that instead of having Lena fly out here but warden Kevin wouldn't let me but he'll let you go."

"Yeah I think you're right but it's such sort notice."

"Leighanne would be happy to see you. Wouldn't that be worth it?"

"I guess you're right. I'm going to make the arrangements when we get up stairs."

"You know what's funny?" Nick asked Brian.

"No what?"

"Even though we have complete control over this elevator, it still seems to take forever to get here." Brian laughed at Nicks comment. Though he did agree.

"That's just our luck."

"No, with our luck we'd be trapped in there."

"Hasn't happened yet."

"Don't worry, it will. I can feel it," Nick explained to Brian as the elevator finally reached the lobby to take them back up to their floor.

"I am just so glad that the conference is over with. Sometimes, I just don't understand why we need to do those things when we can just release a statement through the record company."

"You know your cousin," Nick replied, "I just think that he likes to torture me and that's why he does this. You know, just to make me have to wake up and stuff."

"Well it's over now, thankfully."

"Tell me about it," Nick agreed, "I don't even know what I'm going to do while I wait to pick up Lena. I'm going to be so damn bored."

"Just think about it this way: soon you won't have anything to worry about 'cause Lena will be here and the two of you can do whatever you want."

"I'm just going to take Lena up to my room and lock the door and not come out until it's time to get back to work," Nick informed Brian, "No Kevin yellin at me or anything."

"Life is good," Brian joked with a grin on his face. Nick smiled in responce. He was glad that someone knew what he was going through. Kevin had a tendency to to work all of the guys as hard as he could. Sometimes they would be so tired they felt as if they would pass out, but luckily, no one ever did.

"I'll see ya," Nick said as he walked out of the elevator which had stopped and began to head towards his room.

"Bye, and be good," Brian answered.

"I can't make any promises." Brian smiled then disappeared into his room. Nick sighed as he opened the door to his own room. He didn't know what he was going to do to past the time but like Brian had said, he only had to do that now because once Lena arrived, he would always have a way to pass the time. Over the past year that they had been dating, they had found out that they had a lot in common. Nick knew that he could talk to her. He would knowingly pour his heart out to her and she would comfort him when things were bad.

He was lucky, he knew it. There weren't many women out there like her, that is if there was even one more out there. This girl was the one that he wanted to be with, he was unsure of how he felt about settling down. They were both young and he loved the freedom that he had since he wasn't married. He didn't know how getting tied down would change him. Brian and Kevin hadn't changed much after they were married.

Then again, they were always basically calm people. They hardly ever went out to party. Even AJ was about to be married. He was the last one, other than Nick, that the guys thought would be married. He didn't like the idea of not being able to party and have fun. Still he wanted to be with Sarah. That's what was so unique about AJ, even though a major part of him wanted his life to stay the same, he was willing to change everything to be with his girl because he loved her.

Nick yawned as he walked over to the bed and laid down. Relaxing a was a good idea. He didn't even want to go the the conference, but as always, he had no say in the matter. Moments later, Nick shut his eyes. He wanted to block out the world for now. He didn't want to have to worry about Kevin scolding him for being late or not being where he was supposed to be. This was his time and he was going to make the best of it.

Once Nick re-opened his eyes he glanced over at the clock. He had fallen asleep. Quickly he jumped out of the bed and ran into the hallways. Just as he was about to press the button for the elevator, he decided that it would be much quicker if he just ran down the stairs. Using all of the strength that he could muster, he began his decent down the stairs. It was only a matter of moments before he reached the lobby.

Nick then ran out through a side door to where he had parked his car. Turing on the ignition, he pulled quickly out of the parking lot and in the direction of the airport. Nervously and anxiously, Nick tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. At times, Nick had reached speeds of over ninty miles an hour. Only when he saw a squad car did he slow down to the speed limit. Nick was at the airport in approxinmately twenty minutes. He drove his car towards the parking lot and swiftly ran out of it.

He started walking, with a quick pace, to the gate that she had told him she would be at once her plane had landed. Nick looked down at his watch. He had just made it. Her plane had probably already landed and she would be there waiting for him so he would be able to avoid having to stay at the airport any longer because of fans. A large grin spread across Nicks face as he saw Lena standing by the window.

"Hey Lena," Nick greeted as he walked up to Lena and placed a gental kiss on her cheek.

"Hey baby," she replied, "I thought you had forgotten about me for a second."

"Nope never. I just feel asleep so I almost broke the sound barrier tyring to get here on time," he answered as they started walking in the direction of Nicks car.

"I'm sure you did," she responded with a wide grin, "I missed you so much Nick."

"I missed you too and that's why I am so happy that you decided to come out and spend some time with me baby," Nick answered as he placed another kiss upon her check.

"So what do you have planned for us?"

"Nothing really. I just wanted to spend some time alone with you so that I can have you all to myself."

"I could live with that," she answered as they reached Nicks car. Nick grabbed her bag and put it in the back seat of the car.

"I sure hope so," Nick told her as he entered the car himself and looked over at his girlfriend. A bright smile was plastered on her face as she kept her eyes fixed on Nick. He could feel her eyes on him as they drove to the hotel. Nick wanted to badly to just pull over and stare at her but he tried his best to keep his eyes fixed on the road.

The trip back to the hotel seemed longer because of the slower pace that Nick was traveling along with the mounting anticipation that Nick was overcome by. From time to time, Nick would steal a quick glance at Lena. Nothing had changed in the past few weeks, she had just become so much more beautiful to him. Lena turned her attention away from Nick and to the window. She was so overcome with happiness because of the oppertunity that she had to see Nick again. It had been way too long since they'd last been together.

She rememered the night before Nick had to leave to work with the boys again. They had spent the whole night making love and just being close to each other. Night after night, she would dream about being with Nick again. It seemed that everytime that the couple was reunited, they appeared to be so much more in love with each other. Nothing could tear them apart.

Chapter 3

"God Nick I missed you so damn much," Lena stated as she pulled away from Nicks lips breathless. Nick smiled as he glared at her naked form.

"I know the feeling," Nick commented as he kissed Lena again. Lena moaned as she felt Nicks arms coming around her waist. A satisfied smile appeared on Lena's face when Nick pulled away from her lips. She sighed and cuddled up closely to Nick.

"We could stay like this forever," she mumbled.

"Ummmm... I wish," Nick replied as he pulled her body tighter to his own.

"This is all so perfect."

"I know," Nick responded as the two soon began to dirft off to sleep.

Nick opened his eyes and smiled when he saw that Lena was still fast asleep in his arms. Slowly, he brushed his finger over her cheek and smiled to himself. He loved how she looked when she was sleeping. Her facial expression always seemed so happy and satisfied. Carefully Nick slid out of the bed, hoping not to wake Lena. He smiled once again at her sleeping form as he pulled on a pair of boxers and sweat pants.

Nick sighed as he turned the tv on with the volume low. He wasn't tired and he didn't want to wake Lena. She looked so content. As he flipped through the channels, his mind wandered. Having nothing to do was so great. For the past several months it had been nothing but work, work, work. Finally, the time had come for him to be able to just sit there and do nothing. Nick closed his eyes, not really caring what was on the television screen and he took in a deep breath.

"What cha doin'?" Lena asked. Nick opened his eyes to see Lena standing before him in his t-shirt. He smiled as he looked at her.

"Nothing. I didn't want to wake you."

"I wouldn't have minded," she answered with a wink.

"I'm sure," Nick replied as he pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. Nick kissed the top of her head and Lena smiled as her fingers started playing with his short blond hair.

"Maybe we should run away," Lena mumbled.

"Run away?" Nick questioned with a slight chuckle, "aren't we a little old for that?"

"Uh-uh," she responded, "we could go to some island somewhere and forget about everything. There won't be any responsibilies. We could sell coconuts." Nick laughed at her suggestion.

"Are you alright?" Nick asked as he pulled her closer to him.

"Yeah, why?"

"Coconuts?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with coconuts?"

"The fact that you want to go to some island and sell them," Nick commented, laughing.

"What's so funny about it?"

"Lena, think about it. You want to go to an island and sell coconuts. The people living there can just climb up and pull them off. Why would you pay for them if you can get them for free?"

"Oh come on. Just think about it. It would be so nice though," she replied, "You'd be right at the beach all the time and never have to leave. It would be great baby."

"Yeah well, we have lifes here that we just can't leave behind."

"I know. It would be nice to go on a vacation like that though," she answered.

"Someday baby. When I have a decent amount of time off. We'll go to an island where there are nothing but coconuts."

"Shut up," Lena said as she playfully punched Nicks chest.

"Hey, you were the one that wanted coconuts."

"I love you," she replied.

"Love you too," Nick answered. Lena smiled and slid off of Nicks lap. "Where you going?"

"No where," she replied.

"So what do you want to do today?" Nick asked.

"I don't know. What did you have planned?"

"Nothing really," Nick explained as he watched Lena walk back over to the bed and drop down on it. She sighed as she looked up towards the ceiling. He smiled and walked over to the bed to join her. Lena pushed him down and straddled him.

"Baby we need to talk.....," she said with her voice beginning to trail off.

"Why what's wrong?" he asked as he placed his hands on her hips. His eyes showed concern. Lena let out a long breath as she looked down at the man that she loved. She smiled as she looked into his eyes.

"Never mind. It's nothing," she said with a change of heart.

"No baby what is it?" Nick questioned, concerned.

"You remember Tim?" she asked, refering to the guy that lived in the apartment next to Lena's. Nick looked up at her. Afraid of where this conversation was going.

"Yes," he managed to choke out.

"While you were away we started spending some time together. It was nothing, it was innocent. Then one night.." she said stopping to struggle with her words, "things happened. I never ment for anything to happen. You know that but...."

"You cheated on me?" Nick snapped angerly.

"Baby please. Don't be mad. I missed you so much and I wasn't thinking. It just happened. I got my stuff and left as soon as I realized what happened," she explained pleadingly.

"Get off of me," Nick ordered as he stood up from the bed, "how could you do that to me!?"

"Nick it was a mistake. I never ment for it to happen. I didn't know..."

"How the hell could you not know!" Nick yelled, interupting her, "it's not hard to figure out what's going to happen when he's ripping your fucking clothes off!"

"I wasn't thinking. I didn't..."

"Shut up!" Nick yelled. "I don't want to hear your shit. Just answer this: How did it feel fucking him? Was he better than me? Did he make you scream and beg for more?"

"No. Nick, this was the biggest mistake that I've ever made. Please forgive me."

"How can I forgive you? How do I know that you're not going to do this to me again!? I mean once a cheater, always a cheater right?"

"It wasn't like that Nickolas!"

"You expect me to believe that!?!" Nick yelled, his anger rising.

"Yes! Nick, you know how much I love you. I was stupid, okay? We all make stupid mistakes. Baby please don't hate me."

"How can I not? You've made it pretty damn hard for me not to!" Nick snapped as tears started to fill her eyes.

"Nick, I knew this was how you were going to react! I never should have told you!"

"So then you would have lied to me? You would just move on and act like nothing ever happened. Yeah, that's a lot better."

"Well at least you wouldn't be acting this way!"

"I have the right to act like this! Lena, do you know how many girls throw themselves at me but I push everyone single one of them off of me because I knew that I had you? It's not that hard Lena if you really loved me."

"Nick, I do love you..."

"Leave me alone Lena. I don't even want to look at you right now," Nick screamed as he took off towards the bathroom. He didn't know where else to go.

"Nick!" Lena shouted as she grabbed onto Nicks arm. Nick stopped and turned to face Lena. His eyes were filled with rage. Lena looked up at him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it," he yelled as he tackled Lena down onto the bed. She screamed in pain as Nick put his weight on top of her.

"Nick.... ouch.... you're hurting me," she yelled.

"Like you didn't hurt me?" Nick growled.

"I never ment to!"

"Just shut the fuck up already!" Nick yelled as he grabbed a pillow and held it tightly onto Lena's face. Lena struggled to break free. Her arms and legs were swinging in every direction hoping to hit Nick so that she would be able to break free. Breathing soon became hard as Lena continued to struggle. Nick just pressed the pillow tighter onto her. Lena was fighting to stay awake. She was lossing enegry quickly. Soon Lena's body stop struggling, but Nick still held the pillow down, his rage begining to subside. Nick looked down at the pillow in his hands and quickly threw it to the top of the bed.

"Lena!" Nick yelled as she lightly shook her body. Panicking, Nick started to roughly shake Lena's body hoping to wake her up.

"Carter!" AJ yelled as Nick quickly turned his head to the door. What was he going to do?

Chapter 4

"What's going on in there?" AJ yelled again.

"Nothing AJ. You can leave," Nick responded hoping that he would just leave so that he could figure out what to do.

"Are you sure? I heard a lot of noise coming from here," AJ said as he started to turn the door knob. Nick's eyes widened and his heart beat quickened as he saw the knob turn. He jumped from the bed in an attempt to prevent AJ from entering the room, but it was too late.

"AJ..." Nick said weakly. AJ looked at Nick, his eyes wide.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I told you. You can go back to your room," Nick assured him.

"Lena," AJ said, keeping his eyes on Nick. Nick could feel the sweat starting to form on his body. What was he going to do if AJ found out what happened? "Lena," AJ said again as he walked towards the bed. Nick started to slowly move towards the door. AJ reached his arm out and placed his fingers on Lena's neck. Nick slammed the door shut when AJ didn't say anything.

"What the fuck did you do?" AJ asked, scared.

"It was an accident, you have to believe me," Nick pleaded.

"She's dead Nick. We have to call the police," AJ explained carefully.

"No, we're not calling the fucking cops," he answered, his voice full of rage, but low enough so that only AJ could hear him.

"What do you expect me to?"

"Help me get the body out of here," Nick replied.

"Are you insane??" AJ snapped.

"No, I'm just not going to fucking jail alright!?"

"Look if we explained what happened, it'll be alright..."

"Bullshit. They're going to fucking lock me up no matter what!"

"And moving the body is going to do what?"

"Prevent me from being caught," Nick answered as looked at AJ seriously, "now you're going to help me with this."

"No, I'm calling the police," AJ replied as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Nick, once again blinded by his anger, tackled AJ onto the floor. Nick glared down at AJ, his eyes glazed over with anger and rage. AJ looked up at the person who he thought he had known for years. The person on top of him was full of anger and was deadly. AJ knew better than to fight with him, at least for right now because if he killed Lena, he was probably willing to kill him.

"What do I need to do?" AJ answered reluctantly. A smile spread on Nicks face when he heard AJ's words. Slowly, Nick stood up and walked over to the bed.

"We have to find a way to get Lena's body out of here without anyone noticing..." Nick explained, "we have to find some back door or something." AJ sat up on the floor, he didn't want to stand up. Being involved in this was making him sick to his stomach. AJ's eyes went to Lena's body. His heart broke. He'd known her so well, he'd even met her parents. AJ could see them now. Devistated, hurting because of the unnecessary death of their daughter.

"Are you listening to me?" Nick asked, bringing AJ back into reality.

"Huh?"

"I said that we're going to wait until real early, then we're going to sneak the body down the stairs and we're going to put her in my car and we'll just drive until we find a good place to leave her body," Nick explained.

"Fine," AJ replied emotionless.

"Do you know where the guys are going to be for the rest of today?"

"Brian already left for Atlanta. Kevin has some work that he wants to take care of and that's going to fill his whole day, and Howie, I'm not sure. He didn't mention anything."

"Alright, Howie shouldn't be a problem," Nick said assuring himself verbally.

AJ stepped out of the hotel room door and looked around. When he didn't see anyone, he alerted Nick that it was safe for him to come out. Quietly, they walked towards the stairs, keeping their eyes open just incase someone happened to come into the hallway. Once in the stairwell, they quickly and silently worked their way down. AJ once again stepped through the door first and took a look around. No one. He nodded and Nick came out and they walked outside to his car.

AJ watched as Nick opened the trunk of his car. Part of him wanted to end this right now and call the police, but he was scared. Nick put Lena's body in the trunk and slammed it shut. AJ opened the car door amd sat down, Nick coming in the drivers side. Resting his head against the chair, AJ shut his eyes. He was literally helping Nick get away with murder. Never again would he be able to face himself in the mirror for even going this far. Maybe if he had just listened to his inital thought, he would have went to Nick and Lena's room sooner and Lena might still be alive.

An uneasy silence had long taken over. AJ wasn't even sure if he was ever going to be able to talk to Nick again because of this. Sighing quietly, AJ turned to face the window. A tear was rolling down his cheek. How could he do this? Guilt was already setting in and he hadn't even went through it yet.

"This looks like a good place," Nick said as he pulled the car to the side of the road. AJ glanced out the window to see a river. Nick opened the car door but AJ prevented him from leaving by grabbing his arm.
"Are you sure? We can still turn back," AJ reminded him.

"No we can't AJ," Nick responded as he stepped out of the car. AJ didn't need to get out of the car. Nick could do this much on his own. He watched as Nick pulled Lena's fully clothe body from the trunk and walked to the edge of the cliff. Quickly, AJ shut his eyes, he didn't want to see what was going to happen next. He kept his eyes shut until he felt Nick get back into the car.

"You never saw Lena," Nick said as they began driving towards the hotel, "if anyone asks, you never saw her."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know but I'll figure it out."

Chapter 5

AJ took another puff of his cigarette as he walked down the hallway. He had been completely on edge since last night. Every little noice made him jump. As casually as AJ could he continued to walk down the hallway until he saw Howie sitting in one of the side rooms. He sighed and walked in to join Howie.

"Hey J," Howie greeted.

"Hey," AJ replied almost bitterly.

"What's up with you?" Howie asked, concerned.

"Nothing," AJ answered quickly, "I'm just a little tired ya know?"

"You sure that's it?"

"Yes D. That's it."

"Oh, alright. So what's up?" Howie asked changing the subject.

"Not a damn thing," AJ replied as he sat on one of the chairs.

"Kinda miss workin right?"

"Not really. I could do with out that for a while," AJ explained, "just I wish I was back home. That would make this a lot easier."

"Yeah I know the feeling."

"Guys, have you seen Lena?" Nick asked frantically as he came into the room. His eyes were filled with concern and Howie jumped from his chair.

"What do you mean?" Howie questioned.

"She said that she was going to go out for something and I fell back to sleep and that was four hours ago," Nick explained. AJ stared at Nick. Part of him wanted to scream out what he and Nick had done, but he couldn't.

"Look Nick, we'll get security to look for her alright?" Howie suggested trying to calm down Nick. As AJ sat back and watched, a rage started to build within him. Nick had no remorse for what he had done. It was like it was nothing. He was able to completely move on from the experience and act like it never happened. AJ on the other hand, was already completely overcome with guilt.

"Howie, I just don't want anything to happen to her. I want her to be alright," Nick said as tears started to pour from his eyes. AJ had never been so disgusted before in his life.

"It'll be alright Nick I promise. She probably just got lost," Howie mentioned as he walked out of the room with Nick right behind him. Before leaving, Nick glanced at AJ as if to tell him to keep quiet and then left. AJ put out his cigarette and walked out to hopefully catch up with Nick and Howie. He had no idea what to expect. Nick hadn't told him what to do or what to look out for you, but then again this was a pretty obvious sign. As AJ continued to walk down the hallway, he stopped when he saw Howie and Nick standing with one of the security guards.

"I don't know where she went and I'm scared," AJ over heard Nick saying as tears gathered in his eyes. He just wanted to roll his eyes and tell everyone exactly what happened, but he was scared that Nick might do something since AJ knew his story would be so far off the wall.

"I'll send some guys out to look for her, alright?" the guard replied. Nick nodded, as he brought his hand to his face. AJ's eyes went over to Howie's. They were filled with concern and fear. He was falling victim to Nicks trap and didn't even know it.

"Thanks," Howie told the guard because Nick was unable to talk, "it's okay buddy," he assured Nick calmly.
"Yeah, I'm sure everything will be just fine," AJ heard himself say. Nick looked up at him. Their eyes met and Nick nodded as he put his hand back over his face and leand it on Howie's shoulder.

"Come on Nick, lets get you inside," Howie suggested. Nick sniffled and lifted his head from Howies shoulder.

"I don't know what I would do if something happened to her."

"Shhh, don't think like that Nick. I'm sure that everything is fine," Howie replied as they started to walk towards Nicks room.

"Poor kid," AJ over heard the guard mumble to himself.

"Yeah, right," AJ grumbled to himself as he started to head back towards his room.

"AJ what happened out here?" Kevin's voice came. 'Shit' AJ thought to himself. This was going to be the tough part of all of this. Making sure Kevin didn't find out what happened.

"Nick can't find Lena," he replied.

"What do you mean he can't find her?"

"Like she's missing. Gone, not around, dissappeared," he said trying to hide the fear that was building inside of him at that very moment.

"That's crazy, she probably just went for a walk."

"Howie said the samething but Nick doesn't believe it. He said it's been too long since he's seen her to think that it was just a walk."

"Where are they right now?"

"In Nicks room."

"Aren't you going to talk to him?" Kevin questioned.

"And do what? Fill his mind with lies? Do any of us really know what happened to her?" AJ snapped. Kevin looked at him seriously.

"Yeah I know but it might help him relax."

"It's alright, you go talk to him. I'm just going to go in my room and stay there for a little while," AJ explained.

"Are you feeling alright?" Kevin asked suddenly.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"You sure about that? Is there something on your mind that you want to talk about? Did you see Lena leave the building or something?"

"I didn't see shit Kevin alright?!? Just leave me the fuck alone alright," AJ replied. Kevin backed away from AJ, not sure what else he should do.

"Okay, I'm going to check on Nick. If you need someone to talk to, come find me," he said.

"Yeah sure, uh-huh," AJ answered bitterly as he opened the door to his hotel room and slammed it behind him. Way to go, AJ thought to himself. Yeah, now Kevin was really going to believe that there was nothing wrong. Maybe he could just pass it off as nerves. Nothing like this had ever happened before and there was no way to be positive of what reaction everyone was going to have.

AJ jumped when he heard his cell phone ring. He really didn't want to talk to anyone right now and get himself into even more trouble. He knew that he couldn't say anything to anyone because they would turn him and Nick in right away and there was no telling what Nick would do to him if he told someone.

"Hello?" AJ answered, not really sure how the phone came to be in his hand.

"Hey J, how is all back at the hotel?" Brian asked.

"Umm..," AJ mumbled. He didn't know what to say.

"Earth to AJ!!" Brian shouted, "are you alright man?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just was thinking about something, that's all."

"Oh alright. So did Lena get in okay?" AJ bit down on his lip when Brian said her name. He knew that he was going to have to tell Brian Nick's story about everything.

"She got in okay, but she's missing right now. Nick hasn't seen her in hours," AJ lied.

"Did you guys get security?" Brian asked, his voice was laced with concern.

"Yeah, but they don't really know what to do. They just think she got lost, I mean it is a big city you know."

"They're probably right. Did Lena have a cell phone on her?"

"Not that I know of."

"Damn, how's Nick taking it?"

"He's real upset, we can't seem to calm him down," AJ replied as he fought the urge to pour his heart out to Brian. If there was anyone that he could tell, it was Brian. He was always the one that was willing to listen. No, he couldn't tell him. He'd call the police. This wasn't some stupid prank that he had pulled. Someone had died.

"Do you guys need me to fly back out?"

"No, no, no. You stay out there with Leighanne. Be with your family. We'll let you know what happens alright?"

"Yeah sure, just let Nick know that he can call me if he needs to," Brian requested.

"Okay, I'll tell him."

"Thanks, I'll talk to you guys soon," Brian answered as he hung up the phone.

Chapter 7

Nick nervously stared through the window of the hotel. In his heart he knew that he wasn't going to be able to get away with what he did. Someone was going to find out what really happened. AJ might slip and tell the police and that would be it. He would be in jail while AJ probably was sentenced to something easier because he informed the police. Nick ran his fingers and turned away from the window. Shutting his eyes, he took in a breath. Upon opening his eyes, Nick decided to go into the bathroom.

Stopping to stare at himself in the mirror, he sighed. Nothing about him had changed. It was almost as if he had expected something to. It was as if he believed that since he had killed someone a physical change would take place. Nick dropped his eyes. He no longer wanted to look at himself, he couldn't. Guilt was finally starting to set in. The seriousness of what he had done was beginning to eat away at his heart.

It was only an accident. He hadn't intended things to end up like this. Killing her never crossed his mind. All he knew was that he was completely overcome with anger and his actions were beyond his control. Right after that, everything he did once AJ had stumbled onto what had happened was done out of pure fear and shock. He'd killed her and someone found out about it. That's all he cared about at the time. Now he wished he had done what AJ had said and told everyone the truth. It was too late for that now, things would be a lot worse off if he confessed now. He would have lied to the police and his best friends.

"Nick," AJ said as he walked into the room. Nicks attention immediately went to AJ. At first neither of them said anything. They were both silently daring each other to say what was on their minds first.

"What do you want AJ? Are you here to tell me that you ratted me out?" Nick questioned.

"No, I did just talk to the police but I didn't say anything," AJ answered, "so now are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?"

"Nothing. Besides what business of that is yours?" AJ sighed at Nicks statement.

"It's going to be hard for me to keep lying like this. Sure, I've made up shit before but it was nothing like this. No one was dead because of it."

"Don't say a fucking thing alright?" Nick demanded, mustering up the little bit of anger that he could find within himself.

"You're starting to feel guilty aren't you Nick?" AJ asked as he made his way towards the bathroom where Nick was.

"What the fuck do you think AJ??? I didn't want to kill her. I just... I don't even know. It all happened so fast," Nick confessed. AJ glared at him, feeling some sympathy towards him.

"Then why do you want to cover everything up?"

"Because they aren't going to believe that it was just an accident AJ. They're going to think that I'm lying. But you know it was an accident right? You do believe me don't you?"

"Yeah I know Nick and I believe you. But I think you need to say something to the police because if they find out what really happened, then things are going to be a lot worse off if you would have just confessed."

"I'm not telling them what happened AJ, so don't try that bullshit with me. I'm not going to jail, it was an accident!" Nick shouted with his anger over taking him. "And you better not say a fucking word alright!?"

"Yeah, I'm not going to say anything."

"Good, yeah," Nick said hastily as he began to nervously pace around the room. "I can't have this. I mean with my record. From when I was arrested before."

"That doesn't mean anything. They just thought that you were some kid out having some fun and things went a little too far. Shit happens..."

"Yeah well murder just doesn't happen and no one is going to believe me when I say it was an accident. The only reason you know that it was an accident is because you walked in on me otherwise you know you wouldn't believe me either."

"You know what, you're probably right, but you know what? That doesn't give you an excuse to lie about everything. You have Lena's family to think about. They're going to be sitting at home wondering where their daughter is and you're going to know the entire time. And you're going to know that everything is happening because of you."

"AJ don't try the fucking guilt trip with me. It's not going to work because I'm not going to confess. No matter what you say."

"Look, it's only been a day and I'm already getting sick of all of this. You're the one that killed her and I'm not going to do down because of your mistake!" AJ yelled. "You need to do something before things get too far out of hand."

"Things are already out of hand! None of this was ever susposed to happen! What? Do you think I woke up one morning and decided that 'today is the day that I'm going to murder someone?' It was a god damn accident."

"I know that!" AJ yelled in responce. "Do you think I wanted to get involved in this shit? Hell fucking no Nick. I just walked in to it and you were to god damn hard headed to call the police and thell them what really happened!"

"You know what!? Fuck you AJ!! I don't need you to do this shit to me!"

"Well guess what you do if you don't want me to turn you the fuck in!"

"They'd never believe you," Nick said, his voice becoming low and serious.

"Wanna bet? I'm sure they'll believe me when I take them to where you dumped the body. How are you going to cover your ass then huh Nick?"

"You wouldn't."

"Is that so? Let's just see what happens."

"If you tell the police, you're going to have to tell them that you were involved," Nick shot back.

"Only because you threatened me!"

"How long have we been friends now?" Nick questioned, "We've been through a lot together right? Let's just put this behind us.." Nick pleaded.

"You've never killed anyone before," AJ reasoned.

"Friends protect friends right? They have each others back. Do you have my back, J?"

"Nick, this is different.."

"How?"

"Some one is dead because of you! Don't you get that?"

"Yes I get that! I'm just scared of what's going to happen to me."

"This isn't all about you Nick!"

"Shut the fuck up and leave me alone alright!?" AJ glared over at Nick with a look of pure anger but decided not to act upon it. Instead, he turned around and stormed out of the room.

Chapter 8

Nick walked nervously around him room for what seemed to be the millionth time. It had been a week since that night and with each passing day, more and more guilt started to sink in. It began to take over his heart and his mind. At night he would dream about what he had done and wake up to find his body covered in a nervous sweat. Again and again he would watch Lena die at his hands. With each nightmare, the look of evil on his face began to grow stronger and more powerful.

It seemed as if no one else could see it though, or they may have simply written off to the stress that came with this situation. Whatever it was, Nick was glad that they hadn't thought that anything was wrong with him beyond that. Nick splashed some water on his face as he stood over the sink in the bathroom. This wasn't happening. It had to be some sort of twisted nightmare that would end any moment now.

That was the only explaination. It was in no way possible that he had commited murder. Especially not when the person who lost their life was the woman that he loved more than his own life. Nick took a shaky breath as he walked back into the bedroom. The bedroom where he had killed Lena. It all seemed so stupid now. Nick sat on the couch in the room, he had not gone back to sleeping on the bed since the night everything happened. He just couldn't bring himself to do so.

Nick stood up when he heard a knock at the door. He was almost positive that it was AJ yet again trying to convince him that he should turn himself in. He opened the door quickly.

"AJ.. I'm not..." he paused when he didn't see AJ but Vanessa, Lenas' best friend since the first grade. She stood there, looking up at him. "Vanessa... hi.." he finally forced out.

"Hello Nick," she replied, her voice lacking the usual cheeriness that it usually possessed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I think you know the answer to that." Nick shook his head no. "I want to know what happened to Lena. There was no way that I was going to sit back and do nothing while her killer is still out there."

"They don't know if she's dead or not," Nick said sadly. He knew. He knew everything.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Oh yeah sure," Nick answered quickly as he moved out of the way to allow her to come in.

"Something tells me that she's dead Nick," Vanessa blurted out.

"You don't know that," Nick said, trying to hide his uncomfort.

"You've heard about how twins have these really strange bonds like when the one is hurt, the other feels their pain?" Nick nodded. "Well, I'm getting one of those feelings. I don't know how to explain it but something is telling me that she's dead."

"It's probably nerves. You're just really scared by all of this," Nick tried to reason with her as he would if he knew nothing about what really happened to Lena. She shook her head no.

"Lee and I went through a lot together and I've had this gut feeling before. She's been through a lot of shit and without even knowing anything for sure, I knew something was wrong. Like I was at work one day and I had this strange feeling and I called Lena. She'd gotten into a big fight with her mom and was really upset. Nick, I knew that she needed someone then like I know now," Vanessa said sternly.

"What's being here going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know yet, but something told me that if I came here I would find all the answers I'm looking for," she explained.

"The police are doing what they can," Nick said as he walked towards one of the windows near the bed and stared out through it. "No one saw anything or heard anything, they're doing what they can with what they have," he said, more to assure himself that he didn't know it was he who killed her and not to comfort Vanessa.

"Did she say something to you that might... I don't know... made you think something was wrong?"

"No, everything was fine. She said that she was going out for something, I really don't remember, I was half asleep."

"So anyway, how've you been?"

"I don't know. Everything is just so crazy right now," he responded truthfully.

"Yeah, that's basically how I feel. How are the other guys? They doing alright?" she asked, changing the subject, at least at the moment anyway.

"They're okay, a little shocked by all of this but they're okay I guess."

"That's good," she said softly, "well, I'm going to get my stuff from my car and see if I can get a room."

"You can stay here," Nick heard himself say before he could think as he turned around to face her. "You could take the bed and I'm just sleep on the couch."

"I can't do that to you," she replied.

"It's alright, I won't mind at all." She looked at him for a moment, considering taking him up on his offer.

"Are you sure you won't mind?"

"No, not at all," he said again. She smiled.

"Thanks, I'm gonna get my stuff, I'll be right back."

"Alright, I'm going to go to AJ's room for a few minutes. I just want to talk to him," Nick stated. She nodded.

"Okay." She walked out of the room and Nick let out a nervous sigh. She was going to figure out what happened sooner or later. Everyone was, it was only a matter of time. Nick quickly headed out of his room and towards AJ's. He knocked at the door, heavily. AJ answered seconds later.

"What?" AJ asked when he saw Nick standing there.

"I need to talk to you, let's go inside," he stated. The two of them entered AJ's room, and AJ shut the door behind them. "Vanessa's here."

"Why?" AJ asked.

"She wants to know what happened with Lena. She said that she knows that something was wrong and that she had to come out here. I'm not going to be able to keep it from her. She's going to find out. I know it," Nick spat out.

"What do you want me to do about that?" AJ questioned. "That's your problem, not mine."

"AJ help me out here! I can't do this shit on my own," Nick replied.

"Why don't you just confess and then you wouldn't have to worry about all of this. It will all be over," AJ stated.

"You know that's not an option."

"And why not? Cause you're too much of a pussy to deal with the consequences?" A look of anger touched Nicks face and he grabbed AJ and pushed him against the door quickly.

"Fuck you," he seethed.

"Watch out Nick before you've got another murder on your hands. How you going to get out of this one, huh? You can't use the same excuse twice then the cops would know something is up, won't they?" AJ said tauntingly. Nick dropped his grip on AJ and stepped back. "Didn't think so."

"Just shut the fuck up AJ," Nick said, trying to keep himself from yelling.

"Look, I'm not going to say anything," AJ stated. "So whatever happens from now on, everything that happens is your fucking problem because I don't want anything to do with this any more alright?"

"I can't do this on my own," Nick said.

"Well, I guess you should have thought about that before you did something this stupid."