Part I Chapter I

“Win! Hurry up with those boxes! Now!” Win hurried out the backstage door and to one of the trucks where they were unloading boxes, she was thrown one and ran back inside to deposit it where her boss yelled at her to put it. She ran equally fast back out the truck to finish unloading.
“Once you finish with the boxes, go take the vans to be cleaned, they are filthy, there is a hose on the side of the venue, then go clean out the buses, then once you are done with that you can go get the crew dinner. After you eat you stay out of the way until the show is over then you help take down. Then get on whatever bus is still here, got it?” Win was quickly jotting down her tasks on her notepad and nodded.
“Yes sir!” and she was off.

It was around two o’clock in the morning when Win finally settled into bed, actually it was a small couch that was crammed into the kitchen of the bus the extra stage crew shared. This was how her life was going to be for the next three years. She had to admit it was a bit crappy really, being a lackey for a stage manager, sleeping on whatever bus was still there when she was allowed to leave. But she liked the traveling, and it was a lot nicer to be busy with work, that she was getting paid for instead of waiting around to find a job that usually didn’t work out. She’d only been working for a week and she’d already gotten used to the way she lived.
Days with concerts she helped unload trucks, but never set up anything. She once heard the stage manager talking with a stage crewman, telling him that she was too stupid to be allowed to touch any of the equipment to put it up. Win didn’t care what anyone thought of her. In the end all that mattered was that she was going to have enough money at the end of these three years to go to college.
She lay thinking of the days when she would finally be able to work as an English teacher as she drifted off to sleep. Her rat in it’s small cage beside the couch sat nibbling a piece of food and the familiar sound comforted her.
“At least I got my rat,” she thought to herself. This rat was her only friend she could afford. And at eight dollars he was a good enough pet that only asked for a food, water and attention. Win couldn’t make any friends really, her boss took care of that. Any time he had caught someone talking to her while she worked, he scared them away.
“I must seem anti-social,” she thought to herself. But who could blame any of the other crew or people who worked for the Backstreet Boys tour? She was so busy she hardly had any time to take care of herself. She often carried her belongings in a backpack, on her back at all times so she could ride in whatever available bus or van that happened to be leaving. More than once she had to chase a bus down to get on before they forgot her.
She finally drifted off into exhaustion and fell into deep dreams immediately.
“Wake up! We’ve got too much to do for you to be sleeping!” Red, the stage manager yelled in her ear. Win jumped up out of her covers, one leg already on the floor and looked out the window. It was still dark out. She rubbed her eyes and looked at her watch, 5:30 AM.
“Lets go, you’ve got to unload the trucks, take the luggage to the hotel, check everyone in, get the keys, hand them out, actually, do that first then unload the trucks. And what did I tell you yesterday about these buses, get them clean!” Red yelled getting off the bus. Win noticed the piece of paper he had thrown to the floor. It had her list of chores on it and she slowly bent over to pick it up. She picked up her rat’s cage and looked at her large black rat sleeping and said,
“Lucky you.”

Part I Chapter 2

The day could have been better but it wasn’t that bad. Checking everyone in and unloading the bags took up most of the morning and by the time she was done with that, the trucks had already been unloaded. The rest of the afternoon was spent running errands for Red.
Thankfully that night they did not have to run to another venue so Red allowed Win to go back to the bus by ten that night. Red did not reserve a room for Win so she was to stay on the crew bus. She didn’t mind, this meant she got the entire bus to herself. She used the time to watch a movie on TV and wash her clothes in the sink.
Win never had many possessions. She kept a small box of keepsakes with her two pieces of jewelry she owned, a small plain gold ring and a tarnished silver chain which she usually wore it on. She also had a pair of plastic rat earrings that a long lost friend had given her a long time ago, but she never wore them. Along with that were a few newspaper clippings, two movie stubs and some bottle caps, all this kept in a cigar box.
The only clothing she owned were two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts, a sweater and the usual undergarments. She owned one pair of shoes, sneakers that were in desperate need of repair. She also kept her wallet, which contained nothing more than a driver’s license and her ID card for the stage, in her backpack and a small collection of books. She always carried her pocket edition of Fairy Tales and Illusions and had brought three books she had never read. There was also a bag of Jack’s, her rat, food.
She changed her clothes and rinsed out the garments she had just changed out of and was just contemplating nipping into someone’s bunk to sleep when the door burst open.
“Hey you! Why don’t you go get us something to drink, we’s gonna party!” Alex roared jovially clamoring up the stairs. Alex was one of the bus drivers, Win was not too familiar with him, and obviously he was not familiar with her, because he usually just called her “YOU!”
“I’m going to bed Alex, find another bus to party on,” Win said, although she was gathering up her things in case she had to move again.
“All the other buses are full, so I get mine! Come on, you’re not doing anything, go buy us a case a beer.” Alex whined pushing Win out of his way on the way to his bunk. Win slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up Jack’s cage.
“Good night Alex,” she said hopping down the stairs and out into the parking lot. She looked around and saw that indeed all the buses except the boys’ personal bus were busting to the brim with people partying. Win just got out of the way of a stream of people rushing toward the bus she was just on.
Mumbling to herself and shaking her head she walked towards the boys’ bus and took out her keys.
“Just for one night, Red can’t kill me for that,” she said to herself. Deep down she knew that Red would not fire her unless she did something so bad as to kill one of the Backstreet Boys. She was too good of a gopher, she did what she was told, when she was told to do it, and even did more than she was supposed to. She would be getting paid well enough, but that money was for college, she couldn’t blow any of it. Maximum she could spend was twenty a week out of her pay checks. She usually spent only ten dollars, and that was only if she had to buy rat food. So most likely if she got caught, Red would not fire her. But she did not plan on getting caught.
She fumbled with her keys in the dark and finally found the key marked “BB BUS”. She popped in the key, flipped it over and the lock popped. She climbed in, shutting the door behind her and flipped the lights on. This bus was certainly much nicer than the crew’s bus, but she figured it would be. She found an empty bunk in the back of the bus, one that looked like it was never used and put Jack down beside her backpack. She looked around for a moment and decided to turn out the lights and get some sleep, she was dead tired.
She went all the way back to the bathroom before going to turn out the lights and was scared to death when she saw Brian on the bus.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” she stammered, her hand over her furiously beating heart.
“That’s okay, you are one of the crew, right?” he asked with a smile, she held up her badge with attached keys.
“Oh, okay, but if you don’t mind my asking, what are you doing here?” he asked.
“Place to sleep, all the buses are full, I don’t mean to intrude, I’ll go,” she grabbed her bag quickly but Brian said,
“No, no, really, that’s okay, I just came to get something, but how come you don’t have a room in the hotel?” Brian asked.
“Management, didn’t give me one, but the buses are okay. Is it really okay with you if I bunk here for the night? This isn’t any one’s bunk, right?” she asked.
“No, sometimes AJ naps there, but that’s it. But you can stay, I’ll talk to Red about getting you a room.” Brian smiled warmly at her.
“Oh don’t go out of your way for me, really, I’ve slept worse places than a bus, this is fine.” Win stammered.
“What’s your name, I didn’t catch it before.” He asked holding out his hand.
“I’m Winifred Caldon, and you would be?” she asked shaking his large hand.
“I would have thought you knew my name,” he said laughing slightly as Win dropped his hand.
“I know you by sight, but I’ve never been told your name, and of course we’ve never been introduced.” Win replied.
“Well I’m Brian, it’s nice to meet you Winifred, that’s a old fashioned name, family name?” he asked.
“Couldn’t tell you Brian, and it’s nice to meet you too.”
“Well, I got what I came for, I’ll make sure to talk to Red about the room situation,” he said walking towards the door.
“Please don’t, he’ll just ream me out for not staying on the crew bus,” Win pleaded.
“Okay, okay, I won’t good night,” Brian laughed.
“Thank you, good night to you too.” Win said finally relaxed. He hopped down out of the bus and Win watched him walk back to the hotel. Grateful for peace she settled down into the bunk and feel asleep.

Part I Chapter 3

The next morning, at around seven A.M. the guys were shuffled onto the bus by their Manager Dennis in order to get to the next venue on time. Dennis left and got onto the management bus with the heads of the stage and crew set up, the dance coach, and the stage manager. This was actually the extra crew bus, but they called it the management bus, this was where Win had usually slept.
“Man I am so beat!” Nick said flopping on the couch in the game room. Kevin had retreated straight to his bunk and Brian went to make himself some coffee. Howie was attempting wake himself up, but stifling a yawn he wasn’t making any progress.
“I’m gonna nap guys, let me know when we get there.” AJ said throwing his overnight bag into his regular bunk.
“Sure thing AJ,” Brian replied as the bus rumbled to life and jerked out of the parking lot.
AJ wobbled to the back of the bus to the game room and poked his head in. Howie and Nick were enjoying a video game.
“Hey guys, keep it down would you.” He said. Nick gave him the okay sign and muted the television. AJ went to his usual bunk to nap and snapped the curtain back.
“Holy shit! Looks like God answered my prayers, there’s a girl in my bed!” AJ laughed. Win jumped up so fast she hit her head on the roof of the bunk and sat there rubbing her head for a second, realizing that the bus she was on was moving. Then she looked up and realized she wasn’t dreaming.
“Shit!” she spat holding her head. Heads poked out of the game room and Kevin’s out of his bunk.
“Hi Winifred, have a nice sleep?” Brian asked as he walked out of the kitchen towards the end of the bus.
“I am so sorry, I must have over slept!” she said grabbing her bag.
“No really, it’s okay, kinda nice really, what did you say your name was?” AJ asked coyly.
“Her name is Winifred, leave her alone AJ,” Brian said sitting down at the table with his coffee.
“Winifred, very cute, so, what are you, crew or stalker?” AJ asked with a smile.
“Oh just your neighborly stalker, great, the buses left, Red is gonna kill me!” she said looking hopelessly out the window.
“Let me just get out of here, since this is, I’m guessing AJ’s spot, you’d be AJ, right?” Win asked.
“You don’t know who we are?” he asked with a smirk.
“I’ve never met you so no, I’ve seen you’re picture, but that’s all.”
“Yes, that’s AJ, but what are you doing on our bus?” Kevin asked pushing AJ’s butt out of his face.
“Alex and his friends took over the management bus, and Red didn’t bother to get her a room, I met her last night when I came out to get my Discman,” Brian said walking back and seating himself in Howie’s bunk.
“Well she’s welcome in my room, any time she likes,” AJ said moving to take a seat next to her. She stood up and pulled Jack’s cage out with her. AJ saw the rat and scrambled back yelling,
“Holy shit, she’s got a rat!” He fell back into Kevin’s bunk and got tangled in the curtain. They heard a loud ripping noise and the curtain fell as AJ and Kevin flailed around.
“Get off of me man!” Kevin yelled.
“Let go of my arm!” AJ said now completely hidden from view.
Kevin gave a great heave to the wriggling mass of black curtain that was AJ and he spilled out into the aisle. Kevin scrambled forward out of his bunk and looked over at AJ who was struggling back to his feet.
“She’s got, a friggen, rat!” AJ stammered backing into the kitchen.
“I take it he’s afraid of rats?” Win asked.
“Just a little, and I must admit I’m not to fond of them either,” Kevin said inching away from the cage.
“I’ve never really been afraid of them, I mean I always had to throw away the mice for my mom, and this one is in a cage, so, he’s fine. Come on Kevin, I made coffee.” Brian said going back to grab a few cups.
Kevin wrinkled his nose.
“Oh knock it off, it’s a pet rat in a cage, it’s not like a sewer rat or something. Come on.” Brian said pulling his cousin out of the bunk. AJ went and sat down at the kitchen table. Nick and Howie emerged from the game room and were staring at the rat, who was looking quizzically at them, turning his head and twitching his whiskers.
“This your pet rat?” Nick asked.
“Yeah,” Win replied.
“What’s his name?” Howie asked kneeling down to get a closer look at the rat.
“Jack,” she replied.
“Is he friendly?” Nick asked.
“Sure he is, want to hold him?”
“Okay, cool,” Nick said sitting down in Kevin’s bunk. Win set the cage down and opened the top. She put her hand inside and he gleefully skipped up her arm to sit on her shoulder.
“Can I pet him?” Howie asked.
“Mm hum, go ahead.” Howie reached out a tentative hand and gently stroked the rat’s fur. Jack turned his head and sniffed at him but didn’t bite.
“Wow, he didn’t bite,” Howie said surprised.
“He won’t bite, unless you smell like something good to eat.” Win replied and they all laughed.
“Here Nick, hold out your hands.” Win picked up the rat off her shoulder and placed it in Nick’s hands.
“Now hold him close to your body, yeah, like that.” Nick held the rat close to him and marveled at how still the rat sat as he looked around.
“He’s incredible, I’ve never been able to hold small animals, my sister’s hamsters always bit me.” Nick said incredulous.
“Aw man, come on guys, get that rat off my bed!” Kevin yelled.
“He’s not on your bed, Nick is holding him!” Howie replied reaching out to touch the rat again.
“That’s still too close for comfort, put him away!” Kevin replied.
“Here Nick, now hold still, Win stood up and tapped Nick’s shoulder, clicking her tongue. The rat scampered up his shirt and sat on his shoulder. She sat back down.
“Don’t move, watch this,” she said tapping her shoulder.
“Jack, hup!” she said and they watched the rat leap from Nick’s shoulder to hers.
“Oh my god! That was cool! Does he do anything else?” Howie asked as she cooed to Jack, he had climbed back down into his cage.
“Yeah he does lots of tricks.” Win started and she had forgotten to be upset over being stuck on the guy’s bus.
“Hey Winifred, why don’t you join us for some coffee?” Brian called.
“Sure,” Win replied pushing Jack’s cage back into the bunk to safely stow him. She stood up and went out to the kitchen.
“Oh here, let me,” Kevin said sliding out and allowing Win to slide in and sit down. Nick and Howie grabbed the coffee and took seats also. Win looked around and found herself sitting between AJ and Kevin, although she didn’t know his name was Kevin.
“Okay, so lets see, you are Brian, you are AJ, and you would be?” she said looking at Kevin.
“I’m Kevin, it’s nice to meet you Winifred,” Kevin replied shaking her hand awkwardly because of the way they were sitting at the table.
“And this is Howie and this is Nick,” Brian filled in as they took their seats at the table.
“Nice to meet you guys too,” Win replied, “but everyone calls me Win.”
“Not even Winnie?” AJ asked pushing a little too close to her for comfort, but she pushed him back over and said, “No one’s ever called me Winnie.”
“So what do you do?” Brian asked.
“I’m Red’s lackey, so I do just about everything, save putting up stage. I run errands mostly and lug boxes, clean buses. The usual, oh thank you,” said Win as Brian handed her cup of coffee.
“That’s got to be rough, when do you get done on nights?” Kevin asked.
“Whenever Red tells me I’m done, he always has one thing or another for me to do. I’m never done before midnight, unless you count yesterday, I was done at ten.” Win slowly sipped her coffee and felt her eyes opening some more.
“So how have you been enjoying your first month on tour?” Nick asked.
“It’s okay, as long as I don’t get forgotten, twice they’ve left me behind, I’m starting to think that no one notices me,” Win laughed.
“That’s not okay, really, I’m gonna talk to Red,” Brian replied.
“Oh it’s no big deal,” Win said waving away the unpleasantness.
“Yeah it is, I’m wondering who else has a problem with this Red character besides us,” Howie said.
“What, you guys don’t like him?” she asked.
“We can’t stand him, the guy is a royal jerk, we now have it confirmed, by the way he treats you.” AJ replied sitting back.
“I’ve had worse bosses before.” Win replied.
“Boy have you had it bad then, if you call this good,” Nick said.
“Hey, work is work, I don’t take it personal.” Win replied.
“You are an awful good sport,” Howie said shaking his head.
“You have to be, otherwise the entire world gets you down. Whatever, tell me about you guys,” Win replied, again waving her hand at the idea of her job.
“You really don’t know anything about us?” Kevin asked.
“Nope, never had TV growing up, never really listened to music either, sometimes listened to the radio, but that’s it really. I think I heard one of your songs a while back, um, what was it now, what was it, something about going out, you’ll be late,” Win started. AJ snapped his fingers and they burst into song,
“Listen baby I’m sorry, I wanna tell you don’t worry, I will be late so don’t stay up and wait for me, I’m dropping out my battery is low, we’re going to a place near by, gotta go.” Win was laughing when they finished and clapping her hands.
“Yes, yes, that was the one. You guys are really good,” she replied.
“Thanks, we think so,” Howie said with a pompous fake grin.
“You must be judging by the gangs of fans I see mobbing the places every night.”
“They do love us for some reason.” Nick said with a grin.
“I’ll have to sneak away and watch one of your concerts one night,” Win said with a smile.
“Hey, I got an idea, why don’t you stand with Steve, he’s always right up front, you’ll have a great seat,” Nick said.
“Steve, now which one would he be? Tall, dark and scary or tall blond and scary?” Win asked, they all laughed.
“I don’t really know that many people at all, Red keeps me pretty busy, and keeps everyone away from me.”
“That sucks, what say you come hang out with us sometimes,” AJ said leaning in again.
“That’s really nice of you to offer but,” Win started, but Brian chimed in,
“Yeah, you could hang out with us tomorrow, we’d introduce you to the rest of the crew, let you get to know some people.”
“It’s really cool of you to invite me, but I doubt Red will let me off to hang out with anyone, let alone you guys, he’d probably think that I’d try to disfigure one of you or something.” They all laughed again.
“Tomorrow night is a party for all crew, that means everyone, especially you.” AJ said putting a hand on her shoulder.
“I’ll probably be on garbage duty or something, anyways,” she waved her hand again, and AJ caught it in his.
“Nothing doing, you will go to the party, as my date,” he said. She laughed and said,
“Now you are funny,” he squeezed her hand tighter then let it go. She noticed he was very cool, very confident about himself. She had to laugh again, she had no idea what she had gotten herself into.

Part I Chapter 4

At four that afternoon the bus had to stop. The crew bus had a flat. No one bothered to get up, they were all having such a good time. Win had forgotten where she was even going, she was just enjoying hanging out with the guys. Nick taught her how to play video games and Howie taught her a few words of Spanish. Brian had finally convinced AJ to look at the rat and every hour or so, AJ had the guys burst into song for her. She had to admit this was nice. She’d never met so many nice people, and never had a chance to hang out with them for so long.
Win also never had any one continually hit on her. AJ had been flirting with her all day. Sometimes he’d lean in to say something just to her, or casually brush up against her leg and not move away. He was nice, very nice. He smiled a lot, and got her to laugh all the time. He wasn’t overly romantic, she could tell, but in a good way. A lot of the guys she had dated were the usual who were full of surprises and romantic ideas right away, that wore away after a few dates. This AJ, he seemed genuine, and she was not about to turn away his attention, the attention that he chose to lavish on her. Whether or not this went any where, she liked him even as a friend. He played everything real cool.
AJ had just leaned over to whisper something into her ear again when she heard the doors slam open and a person marching up the stairs.
“What the hell do you think you are doing!” Red yelled at the top of his lungs. The smile on Win’s face immediately dropped.
“I have had to do everything myself all day, while you are gallivanting around in your bosses’ bus! I should fire you!” he screamed.
“Sorry guys, looks like I’ll have to gallivant with you later, ‘scuse me.” She said sliding out of the booth and grabbing her things.
“Thanks guys!” she said hopping down the stairs.
“Red, lay off her, she didn’t know the buses were leaving early this morning,” Kevin said putting a hand up.
“She is none of your concern, you should have called me and told me she was here! This is totally unacceptable!” Red yelled again.
“No, what is totally unacceptable is that you are working that poor girl to death and then not even giving her a room to stay in.” Brian stood up as he spoke.
“As I said, she is none of your concern, and you would do well to stay out of her company, it would not look right for you to be associating with a girl like that,” Red said calmly, fixing a stare on all the boys.
“Mister stage manager, you would do well not to tell us who we can associate with, as it is none of your god damn business. Now get her a room at the next hotel and shut the hell up. Now get off our bus or I am sure we can find you another vocation to put your, ah, how do we say this, asinine talents to work for.” AJ recited growling, looking up from the table. Red mouthed silently, pointing at AJ.
“What? What are you gonna do, fire me? Get out of here,” AJ said pointing to the door. Red turned on his heel and marched out the door. Outside they could hear Red screaming at Win, and then the strange sound of Win actually yelling back.
“What gall you have, sleeping on the guys’ bus! You are to stay on the crew bus or the band bus, or the vans only! You are crew! Not a call girl!”
“Excuse me! Who the hell are you calling a hooker! I slept on their bus because all the other buses were full! It’s awful funny how everyone’s assistants around here happen to have it better than I do!”
“You have it better than you ought to! Now I am warning you, stay away from the Backstreet Boys or you’ll be fired!”
“Oh really, and what other dumbass are you gonna find to fill my job, huh? Just think Red, as soon as I’m gone so are you!” The rest of the yelling was lost as the buses roared to life and the doors slammed shut.

Part I Chapter 5

That evening they arrived at their hotel by six o’clock. Red had yelled at Win for two hours strait about staying on the guys’ bus, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how much she had enjoyed hanging out with people for a change.
As soon as the buses stopped Red sent Win to work checking everyone in, handing out keys and unloading luggage.
“You are on garbage duty at the party tonight, make sure that the room gets cleaned up and do not let me catch you hanging around the buses again. Oh, and here,” Red shoved a key into her hand and she noticed the number “413” inscribed on the metal tag. She smiled slightly to herself, this would be her first night to ever stay in a nice hotel. Despite the fact that she would have to run garbage at the party, she was glad she would have an actual bed to sleep in that night and a shower.
She was finished unloading by seven thirty, and the party was not until eight, so she grabbed her bag and her rat and set off to her room. She headed up to the eighth floor and found her room at the end of the hall. She inserted the key and turned the knob. It was more beautiful than she imagined, peach-colored walls and two twin beds with thick white linen comforters. The windows looked out over the city and the pool below.
“Hey, how you doin’?” an obvious New York voice asked. Win turned and saw the perky blond she’d only seen twice before.
“Hi, I guess we’re sharing,” Win said walking in and closing the door.
“My name’s Jen, I don’t think I’ve met you before.” She said holding out her hand.
“I’m Win, nice to meet you,” she said shaking Jen’s hand.
“Nice rat you got there, get him out of the sewer?” Jen asked with a laugh.
“Nope, domestic rat. Okay if he stays here?” Win asked.
“Hey no problem, last apartment I had there were rats running through it, rats in a cage, are a piece of cake. I’m the assistant to the band manager, what do you do?”
“Assistant to Red, the stage manager.” Win replied.
“Ouch, he’s a jack, that’s for sure. You can have the bed next to the window, I’m afraid of heights.” Jen said sitting down on her bed to comb her hair.
“Yeah, whatever works. Wow what a view.” Win said setting down her bag and rat on the bed.
“You looking forward to the party tonight?” Jen asked pulling her hair back into a ponytail.
“Not really, I’m on garbage detail, fun fun,” Win replied, “Mind if I use the shower?”
“No go right ahead, but what do you mean you’re on garbage duty? The entire crew is invited,” Jen asked.
“Not according to Red, I get cleaning duty, I’ll be back in a minute,” Win said grabbing her clean clothes and heading into the bathroom.
“Hey Win, you got a visitor.” Jen said knocking on the door a few minutes later.
“Okay, I’m coming!” Win called back. She wondered who would be visiting her, besides Red. She brought her towels and clothes with her ruffling her hair dry with a towel.
“Who is it?” she asked. But Jen didn’t have to say anything, AJ was sitting on the bed looking at her.
“You ready to go to the party?” he asked. Win looked down at her ratty jeans and T-shirt.
“Um, not really, I’m supposed to be on clean up,” Win said grabbing her hairbrush out of her bag and pulling it through her hair.
“I already spoke to Red, you are coming to the party, like I said before, as my date.” Win couldn’t take her eyes off him. He looked so handsome, in just a pair of black slacks and a white button down shirt.
“I really don’t have anything nice to wear, I’ll feel like an idiot.” Win replied.
“I’ll lend you something, come on AJ, give her five minutes, and I’ll make her the bell of the ball.” Jen said jumping up and going to search through her suitcase.
“Okay, but don’t keep me waiting too long.” He said standing up and walking over to Win, he looked at her and smiled, brushing her hand with his before walking towards the door again. Giving her a wink, he pulled the door closed as he departed.
“Ooh, so what is going on between you and the J-man?” Jen asked popping out of her suitcase with a long red skirt and a frilly yellow tank top.
“Nothing is going on between us, he just asked me out on a date is all, he really didn’t give me a choice.” Win replied with a blush.
“Here you go, oh, what size shoes do you wear?” Jen asked handing her the clothes.
“A seven, but you really don’t have to go through all that trouble.” Win said, but Jen had already dove back into her bag.
“So he asked you out, wow, that’s a first,” Jen said.
“What’s a first?” Win asked looking at the red skirt.
“AJ actually asking a girl out, they usually just fall at his feet, of course that’s because of the whole rock star thing,” Jen replied handing her a pair of silver slipper shoes.
“I must admit though that he just kinda said that he was taking me to the party and I didn’t correct him. But I am not that kind of girl, he’ll find that out very quick.” Win replied.
“You have any jewelry?” Jen asked. Win shook her head.
“Boy girl, didn’t you pack anything for this trip?”
“Actually I packed everything I own,” Win said looking at her meager backpack.
“That’s all you have? What happened?” she asked sympathetically.
“Can’t own too much while you live on the streets. This job is a god send.” Win replied.
“I’m gonna try these on, thanks so much Jen, I really appreciate it.”
Win emerged a few minutes later dressed in the skirt, slippers and tank top. She got out her chain and ring and put them around her neck. Jen lent her a pair of silver beaded earrings and helped her fluff out her long mud colored hair. Win looked at herself in the mirror, she didn’t recognize herself.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” Win said looking at her reflection.
“He’ll be in love for sure, come on,” Jen said pulling her towards the door.
“That’s not what I was going for.” Win replied being dragged to the door.
“Yes it is and you know it. And I know AJ, he doesn’t just ask girls on a date unless he means it.” Jen replied.
“Does he always wear the hat and sunglasses?” Win asked.
“Actually, yeah, it’s kinda like his signature style. Come on,” Jen opened the door and found AJ waiting, leaning on the wall on the opposite side of the hall. He stood up when he saw Win.
“Hey buddy, mind escorting a couple ladies to a party?” Jen asked.
“I’d love to, ladies,” AJ replied holding out both arms for them to take. Jen went around to AJ’s right side and hooked her arm in his.
“Winifred, the ball awaits,” he said smiling. She timidly stepped forward and took his arm with a nervous smile. She didn’t like not being able to see his eyes.

Part I Chapter 6

They marched down to the party with small polite small talk, but when they entered the party, held in the largest ball room she had ever seen, Win became nervous.
“Now AJ, I don’t remember telling you could have your date and mine,” a tall man said approaching AJ. Win recognized him at once, he was one of the security guards, Taylor.
“Well, I did have my sights set on this one, so you can have the other,” AJ said as Jen let go of his arm.
“Hey baby,” Jen said standing on tiptoe to kiss Taylor on the cheek.
“Now wait a minute, who is this young lady,” Taylor asked.
“This is Winifred Caldon, she’s Red’s assistant. Win this is Taylor Bloder, one of the security guards, he and Jen are getting married, what, this fall?” AJ asked.
“November eighteenth, not soon enough,” Taylor replied.
“That’s wonderful, congratulations.” Win said.
“Yeah, we met on the last tour,” Jen giggled showing Win a giant diamond ring.
“That’s nice, but how come you don’t share a room?” Win asked.
“Die hard Christians, the both of them,” AJ replied.
“Yes, we’re saving our selves for the honeymoon.” Jen said putting her hand on Taylor’s chest.
“Well, at least she is,” Jen smacked him lightly on the chest.
“Hey AJ, from what I remember you are Christian as well.” Jen said with a devilish stare.
“Yes, but I’m not die hard fan, I like some of the fun things in life,” he replied with a smile. Jen and Taylor laughed.
“Come on Win, I’ll introduce you to the rest of the tour,” AJ said pulling Win along with him.
Win could not have asked for a more perfect evening. She spent the night meeting everyone on the tour. From stage crew assistants, to managers, dancers, caterers, bus drivers, the band and the technology crew. AJ always introduced her as Winifred Caldon, keeping his hand on the small of her back, keeping her close to him while they talked to people.
At nine o’clock they sat down to dinner at the middle of the room length of the table. Around them sat Nick and Howie, Taylor and Jen, several of the dancers and the man in charge of the entire tour Daemon Loyd.
AJ continued to lavish all his attention on her, but he was also very generous in that he did not monopolize her time. He always leaned in when he wanted to say something to her, he even had his leg pressed up against hers under the table. She never had someone pay that much attention to her.
But there was something still bothering her. AJ left his hat and glasses on all the time, how was she ever going to look him in the eye, see his intent upon her? About half way through the meal she turned to him and said,
“AJ, why don’t we try something.”
“What’s that?” he asked turning and leaning closer to her.
“This,” she said pulling off his hat and setting it on the table, “here, let me fix this,” she said running her fingers through his hair to smooth the few pieces that had stuck up from the hat.
“And these,” she gently linked her fingers around the sunglasses and lifted them off his face and folded them before placing them on the table beside the hat.
“Now, that’s better. I can get a clear look at the man who has been flirting with me the whole evening.” She said smiling.
“Wow, she must be special if AJ let her take her take off his hat and glasses,” Nick whispered to Howie.
“Yeah, I’m surprised he hasn’t knocked her down already.” Howie and Nick both laughed.
“Now that is a handsome man,” Jen said from across the table. Win was still looking at him and saw him look away, a slight tinge of pink to his face.
“I must agree,” Win replied turning back to her food.
“Yeah man, you oughta leave off the glasses for a while, you might get some color,” Taylor said seriously. Win noticed AJ had become quiet, he was very self conscious and less confidant than he usually was. On the pretense of putting her napkin in her lap she reached under the table and took his hand and squeezed it as if to say, “It is okay.”
He relaxed slightly after that leaning back in his chair and talking again.
Once dinner was cleared away and the tables removed, a DJ set up and blasted music.
“Come on Win, let’s see what you can do on the dance floor.” AJ said standing up and taking her hand.
“AJ, I can’t dance!” she said shaking her head as he pulled her out of the chair.
“Every girl says that,” he replied pulling her towards the dance floor.
“No AJ, I really mean that, I don’t know how to dance!” she said panicking.
“Well, I’m a good teacher, so come here and I’ll teach you.”
“AJ, come on,” she said trying to pull him back to the table.
“You took my hat and glasses, I’m taking you to dance,” he said taking her other hand and pulling her behind him. The music was so loud that she couldn’t hear him now. He leaned into her ear after turning around to face her and said,
“Now just follow my lead,” he took her hands and placed them on the back of his neck and his on her hips. She looked into his eyes and felt her body compelled to move. At first her moves were square and jerky, but AJ’s hands smoothed out the awkwardness and soon she was dancing in sync with his movements. Her actions felt more natural now, as if she had been doing this her entire life, instead of this being her first time ever dancing.
After a few fast songs the music slowed down and AJ moved himself closer to Win. Their bodies were pressed against one another and after while, Win put her head on his chest and drew her arms around his neck. She felt his warmth, his breath on her neck, the tickle of his goatee whiskers on her shoulder. She felt in safe hands with him, and she felt as if she knew something about him.
A few hours later AJ and Win were the only people left on the floor. Most people had left and gone back to their rooms. Kevin and Howie had turned in and Brian was on the phone with his wife. Jen and Taylor were playing kissy face at the table, watching AJ and Win slowly dancing almost a tango like dance across the floor. Nick went off to the pool for a late night swim with some of the stage crew.
“Why don’t we go for a walk?” AJ asked as the music slowly died away.
“Sure,” Win said following AJ over to the table where Jen and Taylor were still sitting and flirting.
“If you two were any cuter I’d swear I’d have to barf,” Win said laughing as they approached the table.
“Well what about you two, I don’t think an air molecule could have fit between the two of you,” Jen replied as Taylor pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head.
“Why don’t we go for that walk now, Taylor, good night, Jen,” AJ said with a tone in his voice. He took Win’s hand and they walked out away from the table. Win looked back at Jen and waved, Jen winked and put up the “OK” sign with her hand.

Part I Chapter 7

They walked silently down the hall to the pool. Everyone had since gone back to their rooms and AJ guided her along the side the pool and over on to the grass. The grass sloped down to a hill that over looked the city that was lit up and glowing in the darkness of the sky.
“It’s so beautiful,” Win remarked as she sat on the grass, AJ sat beside her gazing out at the city.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” She said again.
“Not even looking in the mirror?” he asked edging closer to her.
“Oh you,” she laughing patting his thigh.
“How come you took off my hat and glasses?” he asked.
“Because I wanted to see you, all of you.” She replied, still looking out over the view.
“You can see me with the glasses and the hat on.” He retorted. She turned and smiled at him.
“I wanted to see your intent for me,” she said still touching his leg.
“My intent for you?” he asked with a slightly confused smile.
“The way a person looks at you, what they have in their eyes when they look at you, that’s their intent. I’ve always felt uneasy around people who wore sunglasses. I don’t know what you had to hide.”
“You can see that in someone’s eyes?” he asked interested.
“Yeah, like when Red looks at me, I know that he eventually intends to harm me in some way, he wants revenge against me. When I looked into Nick’s eyes I saw an interest in getting to know me. That type of thing.”
“So what do you see when you look into my eyes?” he asked turning his body so that he could look at her dead on.
“Well, let me look,” she replied placing and hand under his chin to bring her gaze up to his.
“I see a definite interest, and interest in fidelity, a very big interest in companionship. Also, very clearly, you want to show something to me, the something you hide behind your glasses everyday.” He quickly looked away.
“Do you think I’m weird or something?” she asked.
“No, no, it’s not that,” he said fiddling with a piece of grass in his lap.
“I certainly do. Carrying a rat with me where ever I go, cleaning out buses and delivering fast food for a paycheck, looking into people’s eyes to see what they want from me.” She said chuckling, AJ had to laugh.
“Where have you been when I needed a laugh? You are too funny Winnie, you really are.” AJ said leaning back on his elbows and finally looking at her again.
“There you go again, calling me Winnie.” She said leaning forward on her hands.
“You are a Winnie, you’re too cute to call Win,” he said laughing, throwing a piece of grass at her.
“There you go again. What does the AJ stand for anyways?” she asked, throwing a piece of grass back at him, hitting him lightly in the forehead. He chuckled again before replying,
“Alexander James.”
“That’s nice, I like that, Alexander James what?”
“McLean,” he finished. She nodded in agreement.
“Alexander James McLean, very nice.”
“What’s your middle name?” he asked, throwing another piece of grass playfully at her.
“Louis. Isn’t that sickening? Winifred, Louis, Caldon, sounds like a personal injury law firm.” AJ had to laugh again.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, although she couldn’t help laughing herself.
“You are. I happen to like your name, Winifred, it’s you, although I personally like Winnie.”
“Does your mom call you Alex?” she asked tauntingly.
“Yes she does. Does your mom call you Winnie?” He asked in the same tone.
“My mother never called me anything.” Win replied still laughing.
“What did she call you?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never met her.”
“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bring it up.” AJ said nervously.
“It doesn’t bother me. I never knew my mother or my father, any of my family for that matter.” Win replied as if she were describing nothing but the weather.
“That’s terrible, I’m sorry,” he said sitting up.
“Not really, I grew up fine without them.” She replied.
“So were you adopted?” he asked.
“No, I lived in an orphanage until I was eighteen.”
“That must have been hard.”
“It was a nice place actually, there were only twelve of us, it was run by this one old lady. We didn’t have much, no TV, or nothing fancy. Plenty of books though, I bet every one of us read at least thirty books a year. But Elizabeth was a great woman she did what she could with state funding. She was gonna help me go to college.”
“What happened?”
“When I turned eighteen, Elizabeth said I could stay on, and help her run the house. She wanted to get me into her old school, she used to be an English professor, she had laid plans for me to get a scholarship, but she died a month later. The house was closed down and everyone was shuffled out. I didn’t get the scholarship and had to get a job.”
“Oh my god, that’s some bad luck,” AJ said sadly.
“Actually it was good enough luck. The other three girls who were only seventeen were also shoved out and had to go out on their own. I wouldn’t have wanted to be one of the younger girls and gotten put in another home. At least I had Elizabeth while I grew up.”
“So where have you been living?” AJ asked, worried at the answer.
“Oh when I can I rent a room here or there, lived on the streets. I was really lucky to get this job. Plus when I’m finished here, I’ll finally have enough to go to college.”
“You have been so brave. How on earth did you make it?” he asked.
“Faith, looking for intent from people.”
“Faith in God?” he asked.
“No, the faith in the strength of my own two hands, my legs, my back. Getting me through whatever job I had to do to make a few dollars. Elizabeth always told us that we could believe in anything we wanted, but she also told us that the most logical belief is that of ourselves, faith that you alone are responsible for. That way you can bring about your own miracles and your own results without an intermediary.”
“Wow, that is incredible. You are incredible.” AJ said staring at her in awe.
“Not really. I could have gotten some kind of help I suppose, went and looked for my parents, but I never wanted to.”
“What happened to your parents?”
“I don’t know. I was found in a garbage dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant when I was only two weeks old, I think it was two weeks, that’s what they tell me. I was plucked out and that’s all I know.”
“I’m so sorry all that happened to you.”
“Don’t feel bad about it, I don’t.” she said with a sympathetic smile patting his knee.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked suddenly. She laughed and raised her eyebrows.
“No, you can’t. I don’t kiss on the first date.” She said smiling.
“So this was a date?” he asked leaning closer to her.
“What else would you call it?” she asked raising the corner of her mouth.
“A discovering of intents.” He replied, she laughed.
“Yes, that too. Have you figured out my intent?” she asked. He looked her in the eye and replied,
“You intend to make me work harder than I ever have for any woman to earn your respect, your companionship, and your affection. You intend to analyze me, and tear down something I want to keep to myself.”
“Hum, you’re good at this too.” She said not breaking their stare.
“So I’m right?” he asked.
“Just about, I’d say. It’s getting late, I should get some sleep, I’m sure Red will have me up at the crack of dawn just to yell at me.”
“Yeah it is after three,” AJ said standing up with Win. He put his arm around her waist as he walked her up to her room.
When they arrived at her door, he reluctantly let his arm fall off her waist as she turned to look at him.
“I had a wonderful time tonight. Thanks for inviting me.” AJ couldn’t resist and moved closer to her to clutch her waist between his hands.
“You are very welcome, I am glad you accepted.”
“Are you sure you want to go out with the garbage bag girl?” she asked laughing.
“For a garbage bag girl you smell pretty good. You think I could get your phone number?”
“You could if I had a phone, but I don’t have one.” She laughed.
“Well I’ll just have to take care of that too,” he replied.
“You don’t have to do that,”
“Unless you plan on moving on our bus I won’t get to see you that much, and I want to talk to you.”
“We’ll both just have to work it out is all, you don’t have to buy me things.”
“What if I want to?”
“Resist the urge. I want you to know that I am taking an interest in you for just you, and I want to know that you are putting an effort into this, not just paying me off to make it easy. Besides if you were just paying me off it wouldn’t work.”
“Okay, I’ll just figure out something. You free for lunch tomorrow?” he asked.
“What do you think? Red will have me working until the early hours of the morning.”
“I’ll take care of him. Can I please kiss you now?” he asked again.
“Not on the lips you can’t,” she replied adamantly. AJ leaned down and placed his lips on her forehead, closing his eyes and holding her for as long as she would allow him. After a few minutes she pulled away and wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezing him in a tight hug.
“Good night.” And she was gone. AJ pressed his head against the door and closed his eyes.

Part I Chapter 8

Jen was asleep when she entered the room. Win slipped into the bathroom and changed out of Jen’s clothes folding them neatly. After she changed she placed the clothes on top of her suitcases and clipped a ten-dollar bill to the tank top and plopped the shoes by the bag as well. She said hello to Jack and slipped him some food before crawling in bed and drifting into thoughts about AJ.

Jen woke Win gently at around ten o’clock, and she thought it strange that she’d been allowed to sleep as long as she did.
“Red called up here a few minutes ago. You need to go talk to Brian he said, and he is not happy about it.” Jen said as she slipped on a linen shirt.
“Brian? Why did Red let me stay in? What the hell is going on around here?” Win asked sitting up and rubbing her head.
“Red got some last night, so you lucked out, he was in a better mood than usual.” Jen said lacing up her sneakers.
“Red, got some? Ewwwww! That is disgusting! What girl would sleep with that?” Win asked again swinging her legs out of bed.
“I don’t know, no one knows who she is, they just saw him walking out with her.” Jen replied.
“Anyways, I’m supposed to talk to Brian?”
“Yeah, supposedly he flew his wife in last night, she’s not supposed to fly since she’s pregnant but she got on the plane herself, and she lost something last night, some jewelry or something that Brian gave her and she’s hysterical.”
“Did Red leave a room number?”
“Seven twenty. I got to go, Don, you met him last night, my boss wants all the instruments set up and tested, plus the speakers. I’ll see you later.”
“Hey Jen, would you happen have a schedule on you, Red refuses to give me one and I never know where we are going, or what we’re doing.” Win asked grabbing clean clothes out of her bag.
“Sure, on the bedside table, go ahead and take it, I got another. See you later.” Jen replied waving as she walked out the door. Win grabbed the schedule from the table and changed her clothes. She saw that they would be here another three days so she didn’t need to carry her things with her today. Checking to make sure she looked somewhat presentable she left the room and took the elevator three floors up. As she approached the door all she could hear were loud sobs. She knocked on the door and Kevin answered and ushered her in.
“Baby, sweetie, please listen to me, it’s okay, I’ll buy you another ring.” Brian was on the floor, kneeling in front of a very pregnant woman who had her face buried in her hands while she sobbed.
“Are you saying that the ring you gave me, when you proposed, means not-not-nothing to you! That I mean nothing to you!” she sobbed, hiccuping a few times in the process. Win cringed and looked at Kevin.
“Ouch,” she said, he nodded and said,
“Exactly.”
“Honey, of course that’s not what I mean. I just don’t want you to be so upset.” Win stepped forward and tapped Brian on the shoulder.
“Here, let me try,” she said squatting beside the chair and taking a handkerchief out of her pocket holding it in front of the woman.
“Hi, sweetie, I’m Winifred, one of Brian’s friends, how you doing?” Win asked. She took the handkerchief and said after blowing her nose loudly,
“I-I-I’m Brianna, tha-thank you.”
“So what’s this I hear about losing a ring?”
“My, my, my engagement ring! I lost it, I don’t know what happened!” Brianna sobbed, a fresh wave of tears billowing out of her eyes and into the handkerchief.
“Oh that’s terrible, I’m so sorry. And these men, don’t understand anything huh?” Win replied.
“Ye-ye-yeah, I’m supposed to have his baby, in two-two-two months, and it won’t even be like we’re married! I wanted to show our kids one-one-one day! And he doesn’t even care! He, he, he should be furious with me!” Brianna continued to sob.
“I know, men are just so insensitive sometimes. So tell me sweetie, where did you take it off?” Kevin and Brian gave each other looks.
“I put it on the counter, my fingers, they-they-they’ve swollen up so bad, that I can’t wear the ring, it’s too tight, and-and-and I put it right there on the counter, and the next time I looked it-it-it was gone!” She was positively wailing by now.
“I know honey, that happens all the time. Now did you look all through the room?” Win asked patting Brianna’s arm.
“Yes, everywhere! It’s gone!”
“Okay honey, you just sit right here, I’m gonna get you a cup of tea, and Brian will sit right here with you.” Win got up patting her shoulder.
She grabbed Brian and said,
“I need him for just a second,” Win assured her. Win pulled Brian over to Kevin and said,
“Okay Kevin, run down to my room and grab Jack, don’t start, just do it, Brian, get her a cup of tea, I’ll stay right her with her, now hurry.” Kevin left with a hurry and Brian grabbed the phone for room service.
“Now Brianna, why don’t we come over here to the table, where we can look at this lovely view? Yeah, that’s it,” Win said helping Brianna over to the table by the window. She had stopped sobbing, only sniffling a little into the handkerchief tears still streaming down her face. Kevin returned with the rat, held at a distance from him and set it down on the table in front of Brianna.
She stopped sniffling and looked into the cage.
“You have a rat?” she asked pathetically.
“Yes I do, Jack, this is Brianna, Brianna, this is Jack the Rat.” Jack sat up and sniffed out at Brianna, she laughed.
“He’s cute, for a rat,” she said, calming down.
“Here, you want to hold him?” Win asked.
“What, a rat? He won’t bite will he?” she asked.
“Of course not, he’s a good rat, and I’m sure he’ll like you.”
“Okay,” Brianna said putting the handkerchief down on the table and leaning back on the chair. Win opened Jack’s cage and he scampered happily out of the cage and into her hands. Win saw Kevin recoil and she gave him a stare.
“Here, now don’t jump, he’ll sit real still if as long as you don’t jump.” Win said putting Jack into Brianna’s hands.
“Ooh, he’s so soft,” Brianna cooed as she pet his black fur. Room service arrived and set up tea at the table, leaving quickly when they saw the rat.
“I’m gonna send Brian over okay, now you just take care of Jack for me,” Win walked back over to Kevin and Brian.
“Okay, so where was it that she put this ring?”
“Right there, on the counter, I watched her do it.” Brian replied. Win marched over to the counter and looked around. She pulled out a garbage can under the counter and looked in it, it was empty.
“Okay, and what does this ring look like?”
“It’s a large circular diamond with four blue bagets on either side, in yellow gold,” Brian replied.
“All right, now you just stay here with her, keep her calm, and do not talk about the ring, I’m going to do some investigating.” Win said going towards the door.
“Hang on, what about the rat?” Kevin asked.
“Keep an eye on him for me,” Win replied closing the door.

Part I Chapter 9

Win marched down to the lobby and went to the front desk.
“Hi, I need some information about your garbage, yeah it seems that my friend’s wife lost her engagement ring and I have a funny feeling that it ended up in the trash. Now since the trash has been taken out, I need to look through it.”
“Oh miss, I am so sorry about that! Our maids are so clumsy sometimes, I’ll get someone to look through it right away!” the manager said hurriedly grabbing the phone.
“No, no, that won’t be necessary, just tell me where the dumpster is, I’ll look myself.” Win replied.
“It’s straight through the kitchens, but I’m afraid that the garbage truck is coming right away.”
“Well then you better hurry up and lead me to it, cause if I don’t find that ring, I’m in trouble, not to mention a certain young man who is married to that little lady.”
“Oh, yes miss, follow me!” the manager squealed, high-tailing it out from behind the desk and towards the hotel restaurant. Win dashed after him and soon they were running flat out through to the kitchen. They burst out the back door and found the garbage truck just pulling up. The manager waved his arms at the driver and started screaming at him that they could not take the garbage yet.
Win saw a ladder on top of the ten foot dumpster and started climbing. At the top she looked into the abyss of garbage bags and shook her head. She took a step up onto the edge of the dumpster and jumped in.
For the next three hours Win dug through the garbage, bag after bag, finding several rings, none of which matched Brian’s description. She also found several necklaces and odd earrings. She was nearing the bottom of the dumpster and beginning to lose faith that she would find it.
There it was, the last bag. Win crossed her fingers, tore the bag open and began to wade through the contents. After a few minutes of fruitless searching she was ready to give up when drawing her hand out, she saw the ring. It was stuck on a banana peel. She pulled it out and looked at it. Yellow gold, circular diamond, four blue bagets on either side. She let out a long sigh.
Back aching, brow sweating and smelling distinctly like garbage, she stuffed the ring in her pocket securely and climbed out. She went back into the hotel and strait back up to Brian’s room. When she knocked on the door, Kevin answered again, only this time the sounds coming from the room were much different. It was laughter.
Kevin jumped back a little at the stench on her from the garbage and she made a look as if to say, “Yeah, I know I stink.”
She approached the table to find Brianna feeding Jack a small piece of banana while he sat on her stomach. He responded by rolling over a few times, to make her laugh.
Brian saw her walking towards her, and noticed her clothing.
“What the hell happened to you?” he asked.
“Don’t ask, hey Jack, come here,” Win said putting her hand on Brianna’s shoulder.
“Oh hi Winifred, you’re rat is so cute!” she squealed as Jack climbed up her shoulder and sat waiting for Win to put her hand out. She pulled the ring out of her pocket and held it in front of Jack who grabbed it in his front teeth.
Win went around to the front of Brianna and said,
“Tell Jack to come here and pat your stomach while you do it.” Brianna did as she was told and Jack ran down her arm and sat in front of her.
“What have you got there Jack?” Brianna asked as Jack sat up for her to take the ring out of his mouth.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! You found it! You found my ring! Oh honey, look! Look!” Brianna screamed in delight. Win scooped up Jack and placed him back in the cage. Kevin rushed over and Brian stood up to look.
“You found it? You actually found it?” he asked picking up Brianna’s hand and examining the ring.
“Where was it?” Kevin asked.
“One guess, that’s all you get.” Win said smiling.
“At the bottom of the dumpster?” Brian asked. Win pointed at him, nodding her head,
“You betcha, this stench doesn’t just come in a bottle. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go shower, and destank myself.” Win said going for Jack’s cage but Brianna jumped up and threw her arms around her.
“Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you thank you!” she squealed.
“It was no problem honey. Just do me a favor and don’t get this nasty stuff all over you too.” Win said laughing.
“I’ll catch you all later.” Win quickly grabbed Jack’s cage and dashed out of the room.

Part I Chapter 10

Win went back to her room, showered and changed. She was no sooner finished brushing her hair when there was a knock on the door.
“Hi Win, how are you?” It was Daemon Lyod, the tour manager.
“Hi Daemon, I’m doing okay,” Win asked putting her hair up in a ponytail.
“I spoke to AJ a little while ago, he said that you didn’t get a crew phone.”
“A crew phone?”
“Yeah, all the crew get a phone, that is if they want one, or don’t already have a phone of their own.”
“When was this supposed to happen?”
“You’re manager was supposed to give it to you, the first day of the tour, didn’t he?”
“No, Red didn’t give me anything, he wouldn’t even give me a schedule for the tour, so
I’m clueless as to what we’re doing and when.”
“Really? So that’s why he’s been yelling at you all the time? Look, I’ll speak to him, and here is your phone.” Daemon handed her a little silver flip phone.
“How much a month?”
“Nothing, it’s included in your contract, which Red should have gone over with you, but I’m guessing he didn’t. Look Win, if he gives you anymore trouble, come and speak to me, this is no way to run a tour. By the way, when we get back on the road, you ride on the band bus with Jen, she’s saving you a bunk. The band bus will not leave without you either.”
“Thanks a lot Daemon, I really appreciate it.”
“Hey, I heard what you did for Brianna, that was really cool of you,” Daemon replied.
“No big deal, found in dumpster when I was a baby, so it’s like second nature.”
“What?”
“It’s a long story. Anyway, you don’t mind me being around Brian, or Kevin or the rest of them?”
“What? Of course not! I mean Brian really appreciates what you did for his wife, and the rest of the guys like you. I mean, especially AJ, I’ve noticed. As long as you can do your job and they can do theirs, there is no problem. Besides, we are all adults here.”
“Red threatened to fire me.” The phone rang.
“Uh, Daemon, how do you answer these things?” Daemon took the phone from her, opened it and pressed a button before handing it back to her.
“Hello?” she had no idea who would be calling her already, but no doubt it would be Red, happy to annoy her a new way.
“Hello beautiful, I hear you got your phone.”
“AJ? Oh hi, yeah I just got it.”
“Nice to know you so enthusiastic to hear from me.”
“No, no, I am, it’s just funny because Daemon had literally just handed me the phone, I didn’t even know how to answer it.” Daemon was standing there listening intently to her, a grin on his face.
“Daemon, stop that!”
“Oh I get it, Daemon’s standing there staring at you.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“I’ll just go,” Daemon said with a grin.
“Thanks Dae!” Win called after him. She closed the door and sat down on the bed to talk to AJ.
“He gone?” AJ asked.
“Yeah, he’s gone. So what’s up?”
“I just wanted to call and say hi, and tell you that all I did last night was have wonderful dreams about you.”
“Now aren’t you just the romantic type.”
“I like to think so.”
“I dreamt about you too.”
“I guess you’re the romantic type too. I also wanted to call to say I can’t make lunch today, we got roped into another interview.”
“Oh that’s okay, I’m sure Red has something for me to do.”
“What say we have a midnight rendezvous at the pool. I’m sure I can get away then,” AJ asked.
“Yeah, that sounds okay.”
“I heard you were dumpster diving this morning. Brian is in love with you too. I heard Brianna was driving him nuts over that ring.”
“Well she has her ring and that’s that.”
“Do you think I could kiss you tonight?”
“No way, what kind of girl do you think I am?”
“The kind that is gonna make me work for every kiss for the rest of my life.”
“You got it.”
“Nothing? Not even a just a small kiss?”
“Nope, you can kiss me on the cheek, but that’s it until further notice.”
“You keep making me wait, it better be one good kiss.”
“Oh it will be, I’m worth waiting for, that one kiss will be worth it.”
“Just one?”
“Yeah, just one.”
“I guess you’re giving me something to look forward to.”
“Yes I am.”
“I gotta go, we’re being called to the set. See you at midnight?”
“You bet.”
“Bye beautiful.”
“You’re gonna have to stop calling me that.”
“Okay, goodbye pretty Winnie.”
“Oh my god, bye AJ.”

Part I Chapter 11

A few minutes later after she had hung up from AJ her phone rang again.
“Hello?” she said finally after she figured out how to answer the phone.
“Oh good, you finally decided to answer. I need you down to the venue, I need help setting up.” It was Red, and surprisingly in a better mood than usual.
“Okay Red, I’ll be right there.” Win hung up the phone and grabbed her keys and pass before trotting out the door. She took the jewelry she had found in the dumpster along with her and wanted to deposit it at the front desk before leaving. When she arrived it was rather crowded with people, all shouting at the spindly manager that had helped her earlier that day. She listened closely to the rantings and noticed that each person had lost some article of jewelry.
“It’s a solid gold bracelet with seven diamonds! How can you not miss something like that!” one woman shrieked. Win worked her way to the front of the desk and turned around. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled so loud that everyone stopped screaming.
“Ladies, gentlemen, now I understand that you have lost some kind of jewelry or something to the fact. My friend’s wife lost a ring this morning and it so I went to look through the garbage and finally found it. But along the way I also found a few other articles and I was going to leave them with lost and found. Now if you could each step forward and described what you lost.”
“I lost a gold chain with a garnet and aquamarine star pendant,” one woman said as she approached, “it was my grandmother’s, I can’t believe I lost it.” Win dug into her pockets and pulled out the very necklace. The woman shrieked loudly, clutching the necklace to her chest.
“Oh thank you! How can I ever repay you?” she asked.
“Nothing at all, okay who is next?”
Win succeeded in returning four rings, two wedding bands and two engagement rings, three necklaces, two bracelets, two odd earrings, one pair of earrings, and a set of silver eagle cuff links. The owners of the lost jewelry were so overwhelmed with gratitude when they heard she had swam through the dumpster they all insisted on rewarding her. Win didn’t want anything for just returning some jewelry that she happened to find while she was doing a favor for a friend. But no one listened to her as they pressed large bills into her closed fists.
Win stuffed the money in her pocket as she hurried outside the hotel. There she found Taylor waiting for her with a car.
“Hey Win, I’m here to take you over to the venue,” Taylor said leaning out the window. Win ran around the front of the car and hopped in the other side.
“So, what is going on between you and that AJ character?” Taylor asked as he pulled out of the hotel.
“Nothing really,” Win replied, leaning her elbow on the door.
“Oh no? What was with all the kissy kissy out on the lawn?”
“I was not kissing him! And how did you know we were out on the lawn?”
“Jen told me, she saw you two from your window in your room.” Win tried to conceal a smile.
“She did, did she? But we were not kissing!” Win replied adamantly.
“Smoochey smoochey!” Taylor teased ruffling up her hair.
“Cut that out! You and Jen were doing enough of that last night!”
“Yeah, but we’re engaged, you and AJ, that’s just scandalous!” Win had to laugh. They pulled into the back entrance of the theater and Taylor stopped the car. Win got out and leaned down to say something to Taylor before he pulled out,
“The only thing that is scandalous is how much you enjoy digging into people’s love lives.”
“Love life? Oooh, so that’s what it is! This is better than I thought!”
“Oh go on!” Win said smacking the car as Taylor pulled away.

Part I Chapter 12

Win hurried inside and found Red quickly who berated her before sending her to unpack lights that would be strung across the entire stage. She’d been untangling the lights for maybe five minutes when she heard a familiar voice.
“Win, there you are.” Win turned around and saw Brian walking towards her. She stood up to meet him.
“Win, I cannot thank you enough for what you did today,” Brian said emphatically.
“It was nothing, really.”
“Yes it was. No one else would have searched through an entire dumpster for that ring, but you did. I just wanted to show you how much I appreciated it, so I wanted to give you this,” Brian pulled his wallet out of his pocket, but Win pushed it away.
“Nope, I won’t accept money. It was a favor that is all. Friends do that for each other.”
“If there is any way I can repay you, just let me know.”
“Yes there is, you can give me a kiss, right here, lay it on me,” Brian laughed as Win tapped her cheek. He quickly leaned in and pecked her cheek and she smiled.
“There, now we are even. Oh Brianna honey! How are you doing?” Win asked as she saw her shuffling across the stage.
“Okay. I wanted to thank you again for finding my ring, it was so sweet of you to go through all that garbage for me. Brian, did you give her something for her trouble?” Brianna asked touching his arm.
“He already offered and I already turned him down. It was a friendly gesture, that’s all.” Win replied.
“She’s too sweet, isn’t she Brian?” Brianna quailed.
“Yes, sickeningly so,” he replied with a laugh.
“Why thank you,” Win bowed, “but I better get back to work before Red kills me.”

At around ten o’clock Red banished Win from the stage. She had just finished setting up the lights and was glad to go back to the room for a much-needed rest. She was just about to lie down when she realized that AJ would be waiting for her down at the pool within the next hour and a half.
Once she remembered this, she didn’t feel sleepy anymore and her brain shifted pictures of AJ into her thoughts now, and he was all she could think about. Jen came in while she sat on her bed, saw the dreamy expression on her face and asked,
“Now let me only guess what you are thinking about.”
“What? Oh, hi Jen,” Win replied snapping out of it. Jen threw off her baseball cap and pulled out her ponytail, shaking her hair out.
“You are adorable, you really are. Just the look on you’re face, you were thinking about him,” Jen said as she pulled a pair of jeans out of her suitcase and changed into them.
“Yeah, I was,” Win said grinning guiltily.
“You gonna see him tonight?” Jen asked changing her shirt as well.
“Yeah, I’m supposed to meet him down by the pool in an hour.”
“Are you in love with him?” Jen asked seriously.
“I don’t know yet,” Win got up and went to her pack to grab her shoes, she felt like walking.
“Cause if you are, just know this, you are sharing him with all those fans too, they don’t take lightly to any of the guys having girlfriends.”
“Kevin and Brian are married,” Win replied slipping on her shoes.
“Yes they are, but that’s different, AJ is still single in the eyes of the fans, even if you two become an item you’ll be facing a lot of competition.”
“Does AJ cheat on his girlfriends?” Win asked.
“No, but it is really easy to get jealous, when he’s signing autographs, going to interviews, girls asking him for dates and pictures.”
“You act as if you’ve been there before.”
“I have. I was going out with Nick for two years. It was so hard on us. But that wasn’t the reason we broke up. I realized that one day I wanted to be behind the scenes, not in front of it with him. It was a mutual thing, and we’re still friends, he introduced me to Taylor.”
“I don’t get jealous. If I was jealous of every person who had more than I did, I’d have green eyes and have turned into a monster by now.” Jen laughed.
“I just wanted to give you a heads up. If you really care about him, it won’t matter.” Win headed for the door.
“I appreciate that Jen, but I’m not jumping the gun on anything, I’m not sure about anything now. I just like his company, and if I can have that once in a while, I’ll be happy. It’s nice that I can finally have friends, and people to talk to. You going out with Taylor?” Win asked.
“Yeah, we’re going to a late dinner.”
“Have fun, I’ll see you later.” Win closed the door behind her and walked down the hall to the elevator. Once down in the lobby, Win made her way to the pool and sat down in one of the pool side chairs. The pool water was lit up casting an ethereal glow on her face as she sat hunched over, hands sitting on the side of the chair as she pushed her legs out in front of her. She sat like this for a while, the pictures of AJ still floating back to her mind.
Suddenly the pool went dark and a pair of hands was fastened over her eyes.
“Guess who,” a familiar voice whispered. Win smiled and said,
“Oh you.”
“I’ll take that, I’ve missed you,” AJ said sitting behind her on the lounge chair.
“You spoke to me this afternoon, you missed me that much?”
“I haven’t seen you since,”
“Since three AM.”
“What you didn’t miss me?” AJ asked with pretend pouting lips.
“Of course I did, how was work today?” she asked laughing, as if they had done this every night their entire lives.
“The usual, interview, rehearsal, blah blah blah. I’m more interested in you. Tell me some more about you.”
“Nope, it’s your turn, I went last night.”
“All right all right. Lets see I’m originally from….”

Part I Chapter 13

Win didn’t get back to her room until five AM, yawning profusely. She’d listened to AJ talk all about his life. Everything from his father walking out when he was just a child, to his stay in the rehab clinics for alcohol and cocaine. She couldn’t believe how much he’d been through, with his mother, his grandmother, even just the guys in the band. He did seem a bit bitter, and she couldn’t blame him, he often got sarcastic, and a little mean when he spoke about these things, but when she would put a hand over his, he would soften and not eat at himself so much.
AJ found himself at fault for most of the problems he had had in his life, all them except his father. He hated him with such a passion that Win felt a little nervous when he started talking about him, watching his fists open and clench, his jaw go stiff when he ground his teeth. Tonight he’d worn his glasses, but she was not going to be the one to remove them, that was his business now.
The one thing that Win noticed that AJ never really smiled, unless he laughed, his face remained stiff and never really betrayed his emotion. Win was glad tonight for the glasses, as she would not have wanted to look into AJ’s eyes as he spoke about his father.
He asked to kiss her again, but Win was not ready to fork that over. She’d rushed things to fast with other guys before, falling in love with their kisses before falling in love with them. She didn’t want to take that chance on AJ, he’d been too nice to her.
Thinking on AJ, Win fell into a shallow sleep, dreaming that they were still sitting at the pool talking.
Two hours later at seven AM, the phone rang shrilly. Win jumped up and looked around feeling as though she should have been sitting at the pool. Realizing that the phone was ringing she picked it up.
“Wake up call for room four thirteen, have a good morning.” Win hung the phone back up and groaned.
“Oh no,” she moaned rubbing her face into her hands. Jen was also groaning as she pulled herself out of bed and sat there looking at the floor for a moment.
“Damn I hate early morning rehearsals!” She yelled punching her pillow.
“God, it is too early for this,” Win replied yawning.
“What time is it?”
“Seven, oh my head hurts!” Win whined grabbing her bag from beside the bed and fishing out some aspirin. She found the bottle and popped three in her mouth, swallowing them dry. She sat a moment, trying to remember where she was, and remembered meeting AJ that night.
“What time did you get in?” Win asked, noticing that she had to wash her clothes tonight.
“Two, I’m gonna be burnt!”
“Try five, I’m going to die.”
“Five o’clock? This morning, as in only two hours ago?” Jen asked.
“Yeah, I can’t do this anymore, I need some sleep!” Win changed her clothes and then she and Jen yawned their way down to breakfast to meet some other crewmembers. Don, Taylor and the other three security guards Evan, Ray and Stew, were sitting at one end of the table. Jen and Win took seat with them. Brian and Brianna waved to Win as she sat down and she sleepily waved back.
“Late night?” Daemon asked as Win poured herself coffee, her chin leaning on her propped up hand.
“Late morning, I didn’t get to sleep till five.”
“Uh oh, somebody’s been getting busy!” Taylor cackled doing a little dance in his seat.
“N-n-no, I wasn’t,” Win replied yawning so loud her jaw hurt after she yawned.
“What did you do to our man last night Senorita!” Howie asked, slapping Win on the back so hard she spit out her coffee. He plopped down in the seat next to her grinning.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” Howie replied rubbing the spot on her back where he had hit.
“What are you talking about?” Win asked muffled by her napkin as she wiped the coffee off her face.
“You must have given him some work out,” Howie said pointing down to the end of the table where she saw mass of black hair slumped over the table.
“Oh my,” Win giggled.
“You wore him out.” Howie laughed.
“He wishes,” Win replied taking a sip of her coffee.
“So Dae, what time do you think we could possibly get done today?” Howie asked, way too perky for they morning.
“I’d say by noon, that way AJ can get some rest before the concert and we can all check out before five. Which I might add, Win, you do not have to check in or out anyone anymore. Red is the stage manager, he gives you jobs that pertain to the stage only, not running errands for just any body, or cleaning out vans. I want you at that concert tonight, I want you to help with take down. You should know how to do it already, he’s just trying to make you look like an ass because he wants a promotion. He’s not getting it. If he gives you any more trouble, speak to me, directly to me. Okay?” he was not mean as he spoke, in fact he was sincere and apologetic.
“I don’t mind doing other jobs Dae, really.”
“It’s not your place, and let me also remind you, you are not the go around for the guys either, you don’t have to go run and help them when they call. They each have their own assistants.”
“Brian didn’t call me, Red told me to go,” Win said sitting up.
“What? Red told you?” Daemon asked looking down at the other end of the table where Brian sat. He sat thinking a moment and then motioned to Brian to come to him.
“Hey Bri, did you call Win yesterday to help you look for that ring?” Daemon asked.
“No, I called Red cause my assistant had to fly home for an emergency, and Kevin’s had gone with Red to the venue. I asked Red to send Aaron back to the hotel, but Win showed up a few minutes later.”
“That son of a bitch. He’s deliberately fucking people over. He’s trying to make Win look over eager by sending her all over the place to do everything except what she’s supposed to be doing.” Red said angrily.
“Oh so you have noticed how the stage manager sends his assistant to do everything except set up the stage?” Brian asked with narrowed eyes.
“I’ve had enough of this. All right Win, I’m gonna take care of this, this isn’t your fault, it’s mine, for allowing that ass on the tour. Excuse me, I’ll see you all at the venue in an hour.” Daemon nodded to everyone and jumped up from the table, marching through to the lobby.

Part I Chapter 14

Though breakfast had turned out interesting enough, Win should have realized Dae’s anger at Red for treating Win the way he did, and manipulating everyone else would only turn into anger aimed towards her. Red made her pay dearly for his mistakes, taking her around the stage, with Daemon watching from the audience, showing her the various equipment and every once in a while screaming at her as he asked her to make an adjustment here or there. Finally Red got so fed up with her he walked off the stage yelling about inferior help. Gina, one of the other stage crew, took over showing her the ropes of the stage and what she would be doing that night with the take down.
Win started getting to know all the stage crew better, and she found that she got along with almost everyone save Red and one woman who turned out to be his girlfriend. As rehearsal began, Gina took Win to the side of the stage so she could watch the guys perform one of their songs.
“You were the person we were missing, what we’ve need is someone to watch the performances so that if there is any malfunctions we can know about it right away. The other night the friggen stage lights went out and nobody realized it till one of the guys told us. That was one friggen fiasco that I would not like to repeat. Here is your walkie-talkie, and your headset. This is just a basic run through for today because we want to work out all the kinks before we do another show. It’s been a month already.” Gina was nice and didn’t mind showing Win all the little tricks that made things easy. Win was supposed to be in charge of the lights, making sure that things went as they were supposed to, but since she was so far behind, she tagged along with Gina until she learned enough.
“All right Ben, give us ‘Just want you to know’” Win heard as the guys walked out onto the stage.
“Guys, I want you to do it all out, we gotta adjust the sound, so don’t stop no matter what okay?” Win heard through her headset. It was Daemon watching from the audience.
The music started playing and as Win watched from the side of the stage, they guys began to sing. They were really good, Win was astonished by their performance as they each belted out their levels of the song. She couldn’t get over how wonderful their voices blended together. Kevin’s voice was solid, ageless and held tone beautifully. Brian’s was light, airy and changed notes with superior skill. AJ’s voice was dynamic, just as powerful singing loud and soft, he could make his voice smooth or rough as he dictated. Nick’s voice added to the blend a unique quality, an accented voice that was unmistakable. Howie’s falsetto was incredible and convincing, he could sing the highest of notes without error in pitch or sound quality.
Win had a wonderful time at rehearsal, finally learning how to do something besides running errands was fun to her. Even though she was tired she was happy.

Part I Chapter 15

They broke for lunch at noon, but Win went back to her room to sleep. She was so tired that she fell on top of the comforter and didn’t wake up again until five. She went down to dinner with her stomach rumbling and sat down beside Kevin.
“Hey sleepy head, what’s going on?” Kevin asked.
“Not much, that’s for sure. I’m looking forward to the concert tonight though, I really enjoyed your performance this morning.” Win replied doling potatoes onto her plate.
“Thank you very much, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“I’m looking forward to the concert tonight, I finally get to do something useful.”
“Yeah, since now you’ll be doing something related to the stage, considering your boss is the stage manager.” Kevin replied laughing.
“I know,” Win replied before a pair of large arms wrapped themselves around her neck and a scratchy mustache tickled her cheek when two lips kissed her cheek.
“Now this is the reason I got up!” AJ growled squeezing Win.
“So you finally decided to get up?” Kevin asked as AJ sat down and scooted closer to Win.
“I had a good reason.” AJ replied clearing his throat and grabbing some food in front of him.
“Win was just telling me how much she enjoyed our performance this morning.” Kevin started.
“Oh really now, why would that be?” AJ asked, Win couldn’t figure on his expression since he was wearing his sunglasses again, and just shrugged.
“You all have great voices, it was really nice to listen to, I haven’t heard good music since I quit the choir.”
“You were in a choir?” AJ asked.
“Yeah, a church choir, there was one right down the road from the house I lived in growing up. They always sang such beautiful songs, so one day I joined.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in God?” AJ asked again skeptical.
“I don’t but some of the most beautiful music ever written was about God, it’s not like I was forced to stay and go to mass or anything. I just showed up on Sundays, and I sang.”
“Very sneaky, you coming out here, gonna try a weasel a record deal!” Kevin laughed pushing her over.
“Me? Please, that’ll happen the day that Jack wakes up, puts on tap shoes and dances around the corner! Besides, I couldn’t do this, running back and forth, people in your face all the time, it’d get annoying, really quick.”
“So you any good?” AJ asked. Win held up her hand and wobbled it.
“So, so. I did a couple solos at church, but I’m not stellar, not any where as good as you guys.”
“Come on, sing something for me,” AJ said.
“No, not now.” Win replied firmly.
“Oh come on Win, we want to hear you,” Kevin started, giving her puppy eyes.
“Nope, nothing doing, we can do karaoke one night, that’s when I’ll do it.”
“Eat up, eat up, concert in two hours, I want everyone over there by six!” Daemon said walking in rubbing his hands together with a grin on his face.
“You all ready?” he asked sitting down and grabbing a potato from AJ’s plate.
“As we’ll ever be.” Kevin replied.
“Did you know Win here can sing?” AJ asked.
“Oh really now, any good?” Daemon asked, his mouth full of potato.
“No, I’m not. But I promise I’ll do karaoke at the next place that has it and humiliate myself for your entertainment.” Win said nodding her head.
“That’s sporting of you,” Howie said as he plopped down at the table in front of her.
“So you sing?” he asked lifting his eyebrows as he leaned forward.
“Oh my god! Would you all just give me a break!” Win exclaimed turning red and burying her head in her hands as she started laughing, the rest of the table burst into laughter as well.
“You brought it up,” AJ said. Win sat up and leaned her head on her hand as she laughed.
“Daemon, just remind me not to speak, at all!”

Part I Chapter 16

The concert went off without a hitch, there were no mal functions and Win had a blast watching the guys perform. She loved their music, and she couldn’t help singing parts of songs as she helped with the take down of the set. Daemon caught her doing a little dance and singing the chorus to “My Beautiful Woman”.
It was midnight when Win was heading out to the band bus with some of the crew. She spotted Jen whom waved her inside and showed her the bunk across from her own.
“All yours, for the rest of the US tour.” Jen said pulling the curtain back. The bus rumbled to life and was already pulling out of the parking lot as the two other crewmembers that stayed on the band bus, Gina and a guy named Lennon, climbed into their bunks.
Jen said goodnight and closed her curtains. Win was just about to crawl into her own bed after shoving Jack in first for safe keeping when her phone rang. Quickly going to silent it, she dashed out to the kitchen area and flipped it open to answer.
“Hello?” she asked as she sat down at the table and slid so she could lean against the window.
“Hi beautiful,” AJ answered.
“You’re gonna have to stop calling me that, or I’ll come to expect it.” Win replied laughing.
“I like calling you beautiful, it’s either that or Pretty Winnie. You choose.”
“Okay, I’ll go with beautiful.”
“I thought you would.”
“Oh so you know my every thought now do you?”
“I’d like to.”
“I bet you would.”
“How’d you enjoy the concert?”
“I, loved it. I really did. You guys are amazing!”
“Why thank you. I was on a little better form, considering I had you watching.”
“Why would that matter?”
“I wanted to make a good impression.”
“I already thought you were good when I saw you this morning, you don’t have to do anything to impress me.”
“I don’t?”
“No, If you are yourself I’ll like you much better than an act. Which reminds me, take off the sunglasses.”
“How would you know if I’m wearing sunglasses?”
“I said take them off.”
“I’m not wearing them.”
“AJ.”
“Okay, okay, I took them off.”
“See, I was right! Ha!”
“All right, you won.”
“Yes I did, so what are you doing now?”
“Oh I’m eating a sandwich, the rest of the guys are in the back watching a movie. Brianna’s asleep in Brian’s bunk.”
“She really shouldn’t be on tour while she’s pregnant, it’s too much stress for her.”
“Brian’s trying to get her to go home tomorrow, his mom is supposed to staying with her. We have alternate dates for everything so Brian can go home when he needs to.”
“Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep?” Win asked.
“Oh I’m always on a high after the show.”
“Do you really like doing it? I mean, performing.”
“There’s nothing like it in the world, I wouldn’t give it up for all the money on the planet.”
“Sounds like your passion.”
“It is. I’ve always loved the stage the,”
“The attention. You love the attention.”
“Yeah, that is a bonus. But I like attention, and affection from you better.”
“Better than being on the stage with all those girls screaming for you?”
“I feel as good with you as I do performing, and that has nothing to do with the screaming girls.”
“Really now?”
“Yes really. But you love that you are getting all the attention from me.”
“I don’t know how to handle it, I’ve never had anyone pay as much attention as you do to me.”
“You’ve never had other boyfriends?”
“Of course I have, not many granted, but a couple. The relationships didn’t last.”
“What are we calling ourselves then?”
“Huh? Damn, you want that already, lets just say were friends, intent on something more.”
“Okay, I can deal with that for now. We have only known each other for three days. When can I kiss you?”
“Damn, another one, you don’t waste time. When I say you can. Not now, not tomorrow.”
“What about the day after?”
“AJ!”
“Okay, okay, didn’t hurt to ask. I miss you.”
“Do you always move this fast?”
“Why? How fast am I moving for you?”
“To me, this feels like the speed of light. I was already getting lectures from Jen on how hard it was going to be to be with you, cause of the fans and such.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push, we can just be friends.”
“It’s not just you AJ, I haven’t been letting things stay slow myself, and I just don’t want to screw anything up.”
“I agree with that too.”
“I’m getting tired, maybe we can see each other tomorrow.” Win replied.
“Yeah, maybe we can go out to a club or something?”
“Oh AJ, no offense, but lets just stay in and watch a movie or something, I’ll be too tired to go out dancing.”
“Sure, that sounds okay. You can always come back to my room and we can make out for the rest of the night.”
“Ha ha AJ, very funny.”
“It was worth a shot.”
“You keep using up your shots and before long the target is gonna be dead.”
“Ouch! Now that hurt! I get at least a hug tomorrow for that.”
“We’ll see. Good night AJ.” Win whispered.
“Night beautiful.”

Part I Chapter 17

As the tour wore on Win fell comfortably into her routine. She loved her job, save for her boss Red who tried to make life unbearable. Since AJ had taken an interest in her and put a demand on her time, Red had become angrier with her. He seemed more vindictive than ever the closer she and AJ got.
Closer indeed they had become. It had been a month, and despite the childish ways of the rest of the crew, AJ and Win had become an item. AJ ran himself ragged just to spend time with Win. Some nights he even stayed after the concert and helped her pack up her stuff and then slept in a spare bunk on the band bus.
Now Win still hadn’t given AJ that kiss, and he was relentless in the pursuit of it. He continually asked her when he could kiss her on the lips, but on that count she remained silent. Even though AJ wanted that kiss, it was driving him crazy, and it made Win all the more interesting. The chase was just part of the thrill. He disliked girls who just fell into arms because he was who he was.
It had been two months since Win started the tour, and for the first time in five years, she felt as if her life was going to turn out okay. She had friends, and for the first time in her life since Elizabeth died she felt among family. Everyone ate together, hung out together and joked around. She was beginning to feel as if she belonged.
Brian had not gotten Brianna to go home and consequently she had been making everyone nervous. Win was worried that Brianna would go into labor early with all the stress of going from venue to venue, riding on the bus and sometimes having to sleep there. She was also driving Brian insane, but he was good about it. Three or four times a day Brianna would burst into tears and sometimes in the middle of the night. Brian would often have to run from somewhere to comfort Brianna until she stopped crying. Kevin had flown his wife Tessa in to give Brianna some company.
It was early one afternoon when Brian returned from his room to the dining room of the hotel they were staying in that night to eat his lunch. It was the fourth time that morning Brianna had paged him, and he wasn’t in a mood to be reckoned with. Win, AJ, Gina, and Evan were all eating when Brian plopped down at the table.
“Now I understand that it has to be hard carrying another human inside of you, but how many times a day can you cry over cold toast, or how wonderful it’s going to be to have a child.” Brian said holding his head in his hands.
“Tessa not helping any?” AJ asked.
“A little, but she always wants me when she’s crying.” Brian replied.
“Only a little longer Brian, and then it’ll be the baby crying all the time.” Win remarked.
“Thanks for reminding me.” Brian replied sulkily.
“What’s on the agenda for this afternoon?” he asked yawning.
“Nothing, Dennis said the last appearance backed out at the last minute, so we’re free until the concert.” AJ replied.
“Nice.” Brian replied laying back in the chair.
“Hey Win, guess what I found out!” Daemon yelled trotting up to the table.
“What?”
“The hotel we stop at tomorrow night is having a live karaoke night, band and all. So we finally get to hear you sing!”
“Oh fabulous!” Win replied sarcastically.
“Come on, I want to hear you sing!” AJ said grabbing her side so she laughed.
“All right, all right, I will.” Win replied.
“Now?” AJ tried again.
“No! AJ, stop it!” Win exclaimed laughing.
“You love it when I tease you, admit it, other wise you’d be bored.”
“Oh knock it off, I’m gonna be sick,” Daemon said pretending to vomit. AJ snaked his arms around Win and kissed her on the cheek.
“If he didn’t tease me, we wouldn’t have any thing to talk about at all.” Win remarked twisting away from AJ’s arms.
“We have more in common than that,” AJ retorted.
“Just what exactly?” Win asked with raised eyebrows, one elbow leaning on the table.
“Well, we’re both working on the tour, and,”
“Eh, try again, you sing, I work. You are the reason any of us have jobs.”
“We both sing,” he tried again.
“Eh, wrong, I sang, you sing.”
“Ouch, Win, you are mean!” Gina laughed.
“All right, enough with the technicalities. We like the same kind of movies, talking on the phone, we both love getting attention.”
“Ham, that is just what I am gonna start calling you. Cause you are just a big fat ham.” Win said shaking her head and going back to her lunch.
“What? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” he asked laughing. She put down her fork and turned to him.
“Ham just doesn’t seem to fit, I’ll just call you pig, a big, fat, oinking pink pig.” Everyone at the table had their ribs cracking, trying not to laugh.
“Pig? You’re going to call me pig?” he asked staring at her.
“Miss Piggy would fit just as well, what do you prefer?”
“What did I just walk myself into? My girlfriend is gonna call me Miss Piggy.” AJ asked turning back to the table. The table erupted into laughter.
“AJ.”
“What?” he asked turning to look at her.
“Did you actually think I was serious?” He looked at her, with his mouth gaping open. She grabbed his side and he jumped up so fast he knocked over his chair.
“So you’re ticklish, this could work to my advantage.” Win said with a devilish smile.
“Don’t even think about it,” AJ said edging away.
“Oh I’m thinking it, now what you gonna do about it?” She asked threateningly as she stood up from the table.
“Come on Win, don’t, really.” He said panicked, backing away.
“Is he for real?” Win asked looking back at the table.
“Yeah he is, when he annoyed us we’d gang up on him and tickle him until he was out of breath.” Brian replied.
“This is definitely going to work to my advantage.” Win replied taking a step towards AJ.
“What? I’m not going to do anything.” She said innocently, but before she could take another step he’d turned on his heel and sprinted towards the elevator.
“Oh this is gonna be fun.” She said sprinting after him.
Now she had to figure out which room he would probably go to, his, or hers. If he really wanted to get away from her, he’d be in his own room. If he wanted to play, he’d be in her room. But he might double back, just to fool her.
She took the next elevator up and went to the hall of his room. The door was closed, but that didn’t mean he was in there. Win went down the hall to the corner away from the elevator. She hid herself so she could see his door, and waited.
It was approximately ten minutes before he showed up and slowly Win crept up behind him as he opened his door. She padded silently behind him and just missed the door as it swung closed. AJ threw his keys down on the side table and walked towards his bed.
He turned around and Win flew at him. She attacked his sides as he backed up and tripped over his own feet, just catching the edge of the bed. He tried desperately to push her hands away as he laughed, his glasses flying askew.
“Please Win, ha ha, come on, stop it!” he couldn’t stop laughing.
“You give up?” Win asked, still tickling him.
“Yes! Yes! I give up! Please, I give up!” he shouted. Win rolled off him and sat up on the edge of the bed while AJ lay panting, one hand over his heart.
“You, scared, me, to death.” He said in between breaths.
“That’s a good thing right?”
“I don’t know, let me get my breath.”
“So the guys used to really gang up on you?”
“Yeah, I was the second youngest in the group, they loved to do that to me. But nowhere as fun, as when it’s a pretty girl, especially you.” He replied sitting up.
“I bet you did like that, despite the fact that you were screaming like a little girl.”
“Excuse me, what was that you called me?” he asked standing up and putting one knee on the bed.
“Oh that’s right, you’re the ham,” Win replied as he placed his other knee on the side of her hip, forcing her backwards. He inched his knees forward, leaning down, each of his hands taking one of hers and intertwining their fingers as he fell forward.
“Hi.” He said grinning. His nosed touched hers. He brushed his lips along her cheeks, nose, chin, forehead and down her neck. As he worked his way down her neck and back, his grip on her one hand loosened and she was able to pull her hand free. When he felt her hand on his neck, he felt encouraged and pressed a little into her neck, moving in closer, placing his hand on her hip. She felt his heart pounding against her chest. His lips moved back up her neck up her chin. He was about to kiss her lips when Win turned her head, and he kissed her cheek instead.
He picked his head up and looked at her face that was turned away from him.
“Not yet, sorry AJ.” She said. He didn’t move though, he waited for further explanation. He felt he’d been so close, and to be denied now, actually hurt, he felt cheated.
“AJ, come on,” she said and squirmed a little. He climbed off of her and sat on the bed as she sat up.
“It’s not you, honest,” she said looking at her feet.
“Is it you then?” he asked.
“I don’t want to push it, things are going good.”
“Okay, okay. I want to be affectionate with you, and yes I want to be intimate with you, I’m not afraid to admit that. I just want to know why you keep pushing it away. You seem to want me, then you don’t, I just want to understand why is all.”
“AJ, I had several relationships where I just fell in love with the idea of love. Believing that a kiss is love, sex is love. I’ve fallen in love so many times, but just with the idea of it. I want to be in love with you, not your kiss. I’m sorry I’ve been so stupid about it.”
“That’s okay. Now that I understand it doesn’t feel like I’ve been rejected.” Win looked over at him suddenly.
“Oh AJ, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her.
“I’ve been so stupid about the whole thing.” She whispered in his ear.
“Just be honest with me from now on, about everything, okay?” asked pulling his arms tighter around her.
“I will.”

Part I Chapter 18

Win had spent the rest of the evening avoiding AJ, hiding in the bus with a book held in front of her face, staring the words but not really seeing them. She felt incredibly stupid. After leaving AJ’s room she ran as far and as fast as she could, away from him. Honesty. That’s what he wanted about everything, honesty. He’d been honest with her, he’d told her about everything that had gone on in his life, but she couldn’t be completely honest with him. He might understand that she’d been homeless, that she was an orphan, that she had no family, friends or money. But there were other things that he just might not understand. She couldn’t risk him finding out, if he did, she might lose him, she might lose the life she had, the life she always wanted and finally had.

The concert went smooth that night and when AJ offered to help Win she told him just to go to his bus. He argued with her but she was adamant that he get some rest. In fact Dennis had spoken to her to convince AJ to get some sleep because he was working too much. He left with a sour glance at her but she breathed a sigh of relief.
Sending AJ away had put an extra burden on her. She had a lot left to put away, but focusing on her work pushed him out of her mind for a while. Jen and the rest of the band crew were behind on their stuff that night as well considering they were down on four members, leaving a grand total of two, Jen and the other manager Steve. Win finally finished all her duties and offered Jen and Steve some help. They agreed and she started by carrying out the guitars to the trucks.
An hour later the last thing to do was put the grand piano in the truck, and that was going to be a task in itself. A special heavy-duty ramp had been constructed so that the piano could be pushed into the truck, but it took at least five people to heave the thing up, of course Win didn’t know this.
Steve, Jen, and Win pushed the piano out of the back venue door and to the foot of the ramp.
“Hey Win, go do a sweep to make sure we didn’t forget anything.” Steve said as he beckoned Jen over to him.
“You two sure you gonna be okay with that thing?” Win asked skeptically.
“Oh yeah, we’ve done this a thousand times before, go on, we’ll be ready go right after this.” Steve replied. Win gave him a sideways glance and returned to the arena to make sure nothing was left behind. It only took her a minute to see that they had everything and went back out to the truck.
She walked over to the side of the ramp, to make she was out of the way and climbed up into the truck to help pull the piano in when she heard the faintest noise. She looked down at the ramp and saw the wood starting to warp under Steve and Jen’s feet. She jumped back down on the ground and looked under the ramp, then realizing the extra support had not been put under it.
“Jen, Steve, the ramp is cracking!” she yelled over their struggling groans. Win climbed back up into the truck and saw the bottom of the ramp falling away. The piano was close enough so she grabbed Steve and Jen’s wrists and yanked, forcing them to let go of the piano and scramble around the sides of the piano and grab the sides of the truck. The piano rolled back and crashed where the rest of the ramp should have been.
“Shit! Now what?” Steve asked.
“We pick up the pieces and get on the bus. There’s nothing we can do now.” Win said jumping down out of the truck and gathering splintered wood. They boxed up the wreckage and the broken ramp, throwing everything into the truck and going to their bus.
“Daemon is going to have a fit!” Steve yelled as they walked.
“Steve, the ramp wasn’t fixed. Who set it up after the show? The extra supports weren’t under there.” Win replied.
“Still, that’s an expensive piano, that was Kevin’s piano, not just any piano.” Jen remarked as they got on the bus.
“Ouch, that’s gonna hurt.” Win replied.
“Well, no sense in crying over a smashed piano, we’ll tell him in the morning.” Jen replied climbing into the bus, Win and Steve following behind her.
Jen and Steve said good night and headed to their bunks, but Win was standing stock-still. Jen and Steve must have been too aggravated to notice, or had become accustomed to his appearance on the bus because they walked right past AJ who was sitting at the kitchen table. She tried to act natural and walked past him saying.
“I thought you were going to sleep on your bus with Kevin, Brian, Nick and Howie?” she asked as she pulled the curtain on her bunk to check on Jack.
“I changed my mind, I decided I wanted to sleep here.” He said as he sat, leaning back on the window of the bus.
“Then you better get some sleep, it’s late.” She replied as she climbed into her bunk and pulled the curtain closed.
The curtain snapped back open a second later and AJ was staring down at her.
“I think we should talk, don’t you?” he asked.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because yesterday you were fine and today you are acting like something’s up.”
“Nothing is up, go to sleep.”
“No, get up, we are going to talk.” He said firmly.
“Fine,” she said getting up and pushing past him to the kitchen. She plopped herself down at the table and laid her hands out in front of her as if she were inspecting them. He sat down across from her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing is wrong.” She replied, still staring at her hands.
“Don’t lie to me.” Once he said that she pulled her hands in her lap and looked at him, leaning back into the seat.
“AJ, I’m starting to care for you, a lot, so much that it’s scaring me. You are such an amazing person. I’m just waiting for the bottom to drop out. It always has.”
“I’m waiting for you to just to say I’m not worth it, I mean, we are so different, I mean just look at you, you’re famous, you’ve got it all figured out. I don’t even know you, and we’re already talking like we’ve been together forever.”
“So you want to give up?” he asked leaning back, surveying her through his sunglasses.
“I don’t want you to get involved with someone you might not want to be with after you find out a few things about me.”
“What are you afraid to tell me?” he asked concerned.
“AJ,” she said looking away from him pained.
“Is it that bad?”
“Yeah, its that bad.”
“What’s it about?”
“Let me just say that you’re addiction to cocaine and alcohol was a mere five minute childhood phase compared to what I did.” She said, still not looking at him.
“You did drugs?”
“That’s an understatement.”
“What did you take?” AJ asked roughly, his throat was dry.
“Pills, valium, ecstasy, weed, adderoll, tranquilizers, anti-depressants, cocaine, smack, angel dust, crack, my drug of choice, heroin.” As the list grew AJ shifted uneasily.
“I spent the first three years out of the orphanage staying as stoned as I could, trying to forget, who I was, and the situation I was in. I finally hit rock bottom when one of the choir singers found me shooting up in the bathroom before practice.”
“What happened?” he asked.
“They offered me help, and I took it. I spent five days locked in that church basement, waiting for the drugs to leave my system.”
“You still hitting it?” he asked.
“No. I stopped that day, and never looked back. It was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever been through. I can’t even think about doing that again. I wasted three entire years of my life, three years that I could have been closer to something besides living in the streets.”
“So that’s what you’ve been afraid to tell me?” he asked.
“Look, if you want to just forget that we were even thinking about getting serious.”
“Did you forget that I went into rehab? Rehab for cocaine and alcohol addiction?”
“No, of course not.”
“How could I be mad at you for something I’m guilty of as well?” he asked. She kept looking out the window and didn’t answer him.
“I thought you’d want someone better than that.” She finally replied. He got up and slid in beside her.
“How long have you been clean?” he asked.
“Almost four years.”
“Then you are better than that. Win, I know how much it hurts. The guilt never goes away. But we can go through it together. But most of all I don’t care what you did, where you came from, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“AJ come on,” she replied, staring out the window.
“Do you want me to break out into ‘As Long As You Love Me’ right now, I know it’s corny, but I’m not above corny.” She laughed, turning to face him.
“Now that’s my girl,” he said hugging her.
“Come on, lets get some sleep.” He said sliding out of the booth. He headed down the aisle to the bunk he slept in when visiting the band bus but Win grabbed his hand.
“Hold on a second.” She took Jack out of her bunk and stowed him in the empty one before crawling into her own.
“Come on.” She waved him in and he grinned as he climbed in beside her.

Part I Chapter 19

The next morning AJ and Win woke up to Dennis screaming. Apparently he’d gotten up early to talk to the drivers and then Steve told him about the piano.
“YOU DID WHAT!” AJ and Win both nearly jumped out of their skins when they heard him yell. Kevin’s head poked into the bus and he said,
“It’s okay, Jen told me, I’m going out to get a new one now. Hey Win, why don’t you come along, Tess and I could use the company.”

Win spent the morning shopping for a new piano with Kevin and his wife Tessa. Kevin as it turned out was not mad. He said that his insurance would pay for it, besides, he had been in the market for a new piano. Consequently they spent all morning scouring the city for piano stores. Win hadn’t planned on going shopping, but Kevin had insisted. AJ wanted to come along but Brian roped him into helping him talk Brianna down from one of her hysterics. They left before AJ could get away from Brian.
Kevin and Tessa were good company, but Win was still not sure why Kevin had invited her in the first place. She had no idea about pianos, she knew how to play a few things but she was far from experienced with them. But the reasoning behind the invite became quite clear very quickly.
Kevin’s fingers trailed across the top of a gigantic mahogany grand piano as he looked it over. He studied every inch of the wood, staring at it as if it would suddenly start talking to him and answer his questions. He sat down in front of it, lifting the cover off the keys and brushing his fingers over the top of them.
“So I see you and AJ have hit it off.” He said pressing down on a key. The piano sang out the note quietly before he lifted his finger off the key.
“Ah, so this was why you invited me along.” Win said nodding, stepping up to the side of the piano where Tessa was watching him.
“He really thinks you’re special Win.” Tessa replied looking at her.
“Yes, he does.” Kevin reiterated, pressing down another note.
“Kevin, what do you want?” Win asked.
“I just wanted to thank you is all.” He replied, his fingers falling into a gentle quiet rhythm on the piano’s keys.
“Thank me?”
“Yes. You’ve brought AJ back out of his shell. I must say that I had my doubts about touring again. I mean he’s not depressed, or as anxious as before, but he’s a lot quieter than he used to be.” Kevin replied, adding more notes to the music.
“How come?” Win asked.
“After his grandmother died, he’s never been the same. He is a bit better, but he’s still bitter, so sarcastic. He doesn’t really enjoy anything. He started warring those hats and sunglasses and he hasn’t come out from behind them since. That is until he met you.” He looked up at her and stopped playing the piano.
“He’s still hurting Win. You have something, that draws him out. He’s stopped sneering at everything. Occasionally I even see him smile.” Tessa said, also looking at her as well.
“Guys, he’s known me a grand total of a month. He can’t have changed that much just because of me.” Win said confused.
“That’s the amazing thing Win,” Kevin said shaking his head, “He’s had other girlfriends before, but he’s never acted this way, not since he came back.”
“So what did you want to say to me then?” Win asked.
“Don’t let him push you away, and don’t run the first time he makes a mistake. If he messes up just a little bit he’ll try to run.”
“So I take it, you’re okay with me going with him then?” Win asked, still unsure as to why Kevin and Tessa had brought this up.
“Of course, we’re just saying that we want you to know we are on your side. We all love AJ, especially Kevin, and we want what is best for him, and you are the best for him. We’re afraid he’ll go back to his old ways if he’s given a chance.”
“I’d know if he had.” Win replied quickly. Kevin’s eye brow raised.
“Addicts of a feather flock together,” Win smiled, “Three years solid, been clean for four.” Win replied answering their silence.
“Can I help you ladies and gentleman with anything?” a greasy haired salesman asked slinking out of the office.
“Ah yes,” Kevin said looking up at Win again, staring into her eyes, gazing so hard that she felt her eyes watering, “I’ll take this one.”

Part I Chapter 20

After dinner that evening the better part of the crew and all the Backstreet Boys crowded into small show room of the hotel. The band for karaoke night was setting up as Win and AJ took a seat at one of the front tables with Daemon, Nick and Howie. AJ picked up the song list laid on the table and looked it over.
“Ah, it’s pop night.” He said handing the paper to Daemon.
“You singing tonight?” Daemon asked him.
“I do it every other night, I’m tired.” AJ replied, “I’m just here to watch you make an idiot of yourself and hear Win sing.”
“Oh and are you waiting for me to make a fool out of myself as well?” Win asked.
“No, you said you could sing, I just want to hear you.” AJ replied, not looking at her, taking her hand in both of his.
“So what are you going to sing?” Nick asked eagerly.
“I don’t know, let me see the list,” Win said taking the list from AJ and looking it over. Her eyebrows furrowed and her nose twitched as her eyes traveled down the list.
“Well, aside from a couple of your songs that I am familiar with, I don’t know any of these songs, oh wait, Christina Aguilera, I know a few of hers. I guess I’ll do one of those.” Win said putting the list on the table. Howie, Nick and Daemon all snorted.
“You like Christina Aguilera songs?” Nick asked laughing.
“Yeah, the girl I shared a room with was always listening to her, it kinda gets ingrained in your brain.”
“That’s still too funny.” Howie replied.
“Hey, he who walks around singing the opening verse of Dirty Pop shouldn’t throw stones.” Win replied staring at Howie. He stopped laughing immediately. Nick and Daemon started laughing even harder.
“Check one, check one. All right ladies and gentlemen, welcome to open karaoke night here at Weston Hills. Just a few things before we begin, when you come up, just watch the bottom stair, it’s a bit tricky. Just let us know what song you’re gonna sing when you come up and have a good time.” Everyone applauded politely as the announcer finished his little speech.
“So, who will be first this evening?” he asked.
“Go on Win!” Nick said.
“No, I’m not going first. Make Daemon go.” Win said waving him away.
“Yeah, go on Win,” Daemon said.
“I’ll go!” Gina said standing up to a light applause.
“I thought you said you were going to sing.” Howie said looking across the table at her.
“I will, I just never go first, now shush!” Win replied motioning to the stage where Gina had taken her place. Gina wasn’t bad, she did a moderately good rendition of a Whitney Houston song and sat down to a tumultuous applause.
“All right, you’re second, go on Win.” Daemon said.
“Aw come on, have a couple more people go.” Win whined.
“Nope, your turn,” Nick declared standing up and pulling out her chair.
“Okay, fine.” Win replied shaking her head and standing up. She climbed the stairs to the stage, hesitated a moment then confidently strode over to the band and whispered to the band the song she wanted. She walked to the mike and waited for the music to start.
The room seemed to come alive as she began to sing. Her voice was nothing short of incredible. Her voice put Christina Aguilera to shame as she shattered her song with her experienced tone, and her unending range. Her voice was powerful, melodic and rich in sound and quality. Walk Away was her favorite song, she’d listened to it probably two hundred times and had memorized the words, the feelings, and the emotion needed to portray the song the right way.
When she was finished singing everyone in the room jumped to their feet, screaming, whistling and whooping. They were clapping so long that Win took a little bow and finally went back to her table.
All four of the guys at the table were staring at her with their mouths open.
“What?” she asked, they continued to stare at her.
“What!” she exclaimed again.
“Win, you were, incredible! Where did you learn to sing?” Daemon asked.
“Church choir, I thought I told you before.” She replied.
“You were better than, than, I don’t know, just about everyone in the music business.” Howie said still astonished.
“So I take it you all enjoyed it?” Win asked looking particularly at AJ.
“You said you sang so so, what the hell was that?” AJ asked.
“I’d call it down right unbelievable.” Nick replied shaking his head.
“That was a fantastic performance by our last singer, the applause was certainly merited. Now would anyone else like to take a try, although, it’s going to be pretty hard to follow that act.” The bandleader announced, gesturing to Win in the front row.
“Win really, you were amazing.” AJ whispered in her ear as Jenna, one of the dancers went up to sing.
“Thank you, I like when you sing a lot better though.” She replied.
A few songs later, the crowd was getting restless and not many people were volunteering to go up. It seemed Win had scared many people out of performing, she’d been so good that AJ kept pestering her to sing again for him.
“Oh come on ladies and gentlemen! No one else wants to give it a go! What about an encore from our lovely Christina singer, everyone, give her a round of applause.” The bandleader said, the spotlight flashing on Win. She grinned nervously as the people around her started to chant “Win! Win! Win!”
“All right, all right, I’ll go,” she laughed, standing up and climbing the stairs to the stage. She thought for a moment about what song to sing, then spoke to the bandleader.
Win’s performance was again, nothing short of incredible. Her voice seemed to get better with each word she sang. About half way through the song she removed the mike and walked down the stairs toward her table still singing. The spotlight followed her as she sat herself in AJ’s lap and finished the song, singing right to him.
Once she finished, she returned to the stage, placed the mike in the stand before returning to her seat.
“That was just something else.” Daemon said with his mouth agape. AJ was just sitting there, stock still, no expression on his face, but then again this was nothing new.
“That was certainly some performance.” AJ said after a moment.
“Why thank you gentlemen, thank you very much.”

Part I Chapter 21

That night after karaoke, AJ walked Win back to her room, but not before he asked her something. Pulling her close to him and putting his lips to her ear he whispered.
“Come stay the night with me.”
“Oh AJ,” Win replied in an exasperated tone.
“Come on, please.” He whispered again, clinging tighter to her.
“No AJ, not yet. I got to stop giving you ideas.” Win said shaking her head.
“That was really nice, you sitting in my lap.”
“I hope you enjoyed it, cause it ain’t gonna happen again for a while.”
“Come on, please, please. I’ve been good, I haven’t asked to kiss you for a whole day.”
“So you figure I’ll jump right in the sack with you, no way, go to bed. Good night.” Win replied, patting his forehead and slipping into her room. AJ walked slowly back to his room muttering,
“Damn, damn damn damn.”

Another month passed and Win found herself celebrating three months on tour and two months with AJ. What this month also meant that Brianna was due to give birth. Brian was on the edge of his seat, he was nervous all the time. Upon the arrival at every venue he found out the whereabouts of the nearest hospital and the quickest route to get there. Brianna’s hysterics had calmed, she no longer burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Now she usually sat back and dreamed up baby names while patting her stomach.
AJ was around Win constantly. She hardly knew a moment without work, or his arms around her, threatening to never let her go. The guys had noticed a dramatic change in him, he was his old self, joking around with the guys and the crew, laughing all the time, generous with everything he did and had. Even Brian who was having kittens over Brianna had commented to Win about AJ.
“I haven’t seen AJ and Nick get into a pretend fight since the Millennium tour.”
Not only was AJ happier, but his mood was contagious. Work was not work anymore, it was fun. AJ was constantly playing jokes on the crew, especially Gina, a very tall Jamaican woman who chased him around the stage after she found a life-like rubber snake in one of her toolboxes.
Despite all the efforts AJ had made, he still would not take the hats and glasses off. Win did not ask him anymore, she’d stopped after the one evening. It was now his choice when to stop hiding.
Since the Karaoke night, AJ as well as the rest of the crew were constantly begging her to sing for them. Win had always been a little shy of her talents, but slowly her inhibitions were melting away. Occasionally she’d sing a little something for them, Kevin playing at his new piano while the rest of the guys and crew gathered around to listen. Her voice always sounded best when she pulled out the long lilting notes from the songs. Daemon threatened constantly to turn her in to his boss and have her signed to the music label.
“Yeah right, that’ll happen the same time the hair grows back on your head.” Win had replied laughing.
“Win really, you could be a superstar, with that voice,” Howie remarked.
“Yeah, but you also have to be a show-off, beauty queen that’s willing to take your clothes off to get attention.”
“And who says you are not a beauty queen?” AJ asked coming up behind her, snaking his arms around her neck.
“I’m an average looking girl from Belltown, PA. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“You have star quality,” AJ replied.
“Oh please, I couldn’t deal with the life you have, scaled down of course.” Win replied.
“What do you mean ‘scaled down’?” Kevin asked.
“You guys have been doing this for what, over ten years? I’d never be this popular.”
“Oh yes you would.” AJ replied.
“Knock it off would you, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Win replied throwing AJ’s arms off of her neck and going back to work.
The constant attempts to make her believe that she could be a star were annoying. Sure she had a little bit of talent, but that had been for the church choir, the choir that had saved her life. There was no way she’d make it out in the real world of music. Besides, she didn’t want that much attention and she did not like performing in front of strangers. The guys, the crew, the parishioners on Sundays in church, maybe crowds in the hundred number, that was fine, but big strange crowds, forget it. Everyone bringing up that she could sing was irritating, and sometimes she would have liked to forget it.
After she finished with her part of the stage set up she went back to the hotel to eat lunch. She was just thinking of taking lunch in her room to avoid the guys when they came traipsing in the dining room. She now had no choice, once they saw her she’d have to sit down and eat with them.
As she predicted the group came over at sat down around her. The group consisted of AJ, Daemon, Brian and Brianna, Kevin and Tessa, Nick, Jen, Taylor and Howie. Win tried to act like nothing was wrong, but she was just a little too visibly upset.
“You okay beautiful?” AJ asked concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She replied unconvincingly.
“So, where is everybody going for their two week break?” Daemon asked sitting down at the table. Planned in the eight month US tour was a two-week break to accompany the delivery of Brianna and Brian’s baby. After two weeks, Brian was expected back on tour, another separation that he was not looking forward to. The break came up in two weeks, and Win was not looking forward to it.
Aside from the fact that she really didn’t have any family, she had no place to live, and no money to afford a place of her own. She had no one she could bum a room from for two weeks, and the cost of a hotel for two weeks would be outrageous. She’d have to go back to Pennsylvania and find her group of friends who had formed sort of community of homeless girls who all had jobs and kicked in money once in a while to get a hotel room.
“I’m going to visit my parents in LA,” Nick said immediately.
“My girl in Reno,” Howie replied.
“Kevin and I are going on our second honeymoon, we’re going to New York City.” Tessa said.
“Me, got a big ole family reunion down in Louisiana, whole extended line coming from both my mom and pop’s sides.” Daemon said with his mouth full.
“We’ve got an engagement party at my mom’s house in Kentucky.” Taylor said.
“You know where we’ll be,” Brianna smiled, patting her stomach, Brian looked sick.
“What about you AJ?” Kevin asked.
“I’m hoping to take Win to meet my mom.” Win nearly choked on her piece of cucumber.
“What?” she asked when she could breathe again.
“Yeah, I want you to come meet my mom. Would you?” he asked, looking at her with his sunglass covered eyes.
“AJ, I don’t think that, now really, that’s not really appropriate, is it?” she asked looking away, being startled at being asked something like this out of the blue and in front of so many people.
“You got other plans Win, where were you staying? You got an apartment somewhere?” Daemon asked.
“I don’t have anything anywhere.” She said in a small voice.
“Well where did you live before you came here?” he asked again.
“Pennsylvania.”
“Oh really, what part?” Daemon asked.
“Around Belltown area.”
“I have a cousin over there, you met him, name’s Alan Brickman.”
“No, never met him.”
“Nice area though, what street did you live on?” Daemon continued.
“None in particular.”
“What does that mean?” Daemon asked stupidly.
“Man, does she have to spell it out for you?” AJ asked. Daemon looked at him, still not figuring out what he was trying to say. Win put a hand on AJ’s arm and said,
“It’s okay, you don’t have to lie for me. I’ve been homeless for the past seven years Daemon.”
“Oh you mean like drifting, you must have some interesting stories to tell.” Daemon replied.
“No Daemon, not drifting, just homeless.” Win replied, determined not to look at him.
“Oh come on, nothing?”
“No Daemon, nothing.”
“Didn’t you want to go to college?” Kevin asked.
“Yeah, did you just go out onto the road, were your parents okay with what you did?” Nick asked. Questions were flying from all directions at her. Finally she got fed up and slammed her hand down on the table.
“To answer all your prying and nosing questions. I was an orphan, I’ve never had parents, I was out on the street when I was eighteen. For the first three years I used every drug I could find attempting to forget who and where I was. After I got clean I got two jobs, one as a dishwasher, another as a cashier. I’ve never been able to afford a place to live. I got together with four other girls that I used to live with in the orphanage and we banded together. One person would stand guard while the others slept. We slept in dumpsters, alleyways, under bridges, cars. When we could afford it, we stayed a night or two in the hotel. If you want stories I could tell you about the time Melody was bitten by a rabid dog, or when we were robbed at gun point and all our belongings stolen, or how we nearly froze to death every winter, trying to afford coats and shoes.” Win stared down into her lap as she spoke, feeling the eyes pressing in on her bowed head. When she finished speaking she looked up and saw their astonished faces.
“I don’t need your pity.” She said simply, without anger and resentment in her tone, actions or facial expressions, but they were still surprised when she stood up and walked out of the dining room.

Part I Chapter 22

AJ ran after her, just missing the elevator she stepped into. He dashed into the next one and found Win unlocking the door to her and Jen’s room. He followed her inside and closed the door.
“You want to tell me what happened down there?” he asked as she stood at the window.
“They kept badgering me to tell them about it, so I did. Now they feel sorry for me. I hate that crap.” She replied.
“Win, it’s okay that you were homeless, it happens to the best of people.” AJ said moving towards her, “You don’t have to be ashamed.” He went to put his hand on her but she whipped around.
“But I am ashamed! Any person living in the streets, working crap jobs to afford food and a few scraps of clothes is ashamed of the way they live. I’m not one of those stupid, inactives, that travels the world, because they won’t work. I worked two, sometimes three jobs, just to have enough money to eat! I am not proud of that. I’m a no good, useless, bum. That’s how people looked at me, with oh it’s a pity, but she deserves it, and now it’s just the same!” Now Win was angry. She didn’t cry, she was too angry to cry.
“No it’s not true. You did not deserve to be abandoned, you did not deserve to be kicked out into the world with no idea of how to live. And so what, you’ve been homeless, what does it matter? You’re here now, you’re working, and you’ve got me. No one is going to turn their back on you. No one is going to turn you away for living in the street or taking drugs. You are still a good person, no matter what.” AJ was convinced Win had been just slightly exaggerating the homeless aspect of her life, counting boarding houses and crappy apartments as non-homes. But he now realized the real reason she didn’t elaborate on what her life had been. She was ashamed, and had always disapproved of her own life.
“I have dreams and ambitions just like everyone else. I want to be on my own, I want to be proud of myself. I want to have people look at me and see more than a charity case.”
“You want to know what I see?” he asked.
“What?”
“I see, a strong, independent, courageous, determined woman. A beautiful, friendly, outgoing, smart person. You are everything you want to be, and more.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“It’ll take some time, but I’ll make you believe it.” AJ said finally putting an arm around her and encompassing her entire body with his arms. Kissing the top of her head he squeezed her close and felt her lean into him.

News of Win’s outburst had quickly circulated around the crew. Now that Red heard Win had been homeless he had new ammo. He was vindictive as ever and constantly threw out remarks to hurt her. Win ignored all his taunts and found that she had quite a number of the crew on her side. Every time Red made a remark someone told him to stuff it. She found that several of her fellow crewmembers had also been homeless for a period of time.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Joey, one of the older technicians remarked to her one day, “As long as you work hard and take care of yourself, and you’re not asking for a handout, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Me it took fourteen years before I got on my feet, same situation almost as you. You’re a good girl, don’t you go listening to Red.”
Each of the guys, and Daemon had all come and apologized in their own time and way. Howie had found her when she was on her way into her room and she invited him inside.
“Win, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.” He said, sincerely sorry.
“I shouldn’t have burst out like that, I didn’t give you any other choice. It’s a hot button issue with me.” Win replied.
“No, you had every right. I’ve never been homeless, so I’m a little clueless. Nobody ever really thinks about the possibilities. We forget that not everyone has the same kind of life we do.”
“I thank you for your honesty.” Win replied impressed, he’d really gone out of his way to apologize.
“I’d like to make it up to you, I want to take you to lunch.”
“Oh you don’t have to do that.” Win replied hastily.
“No, I don’t, but I want to. Come on, I have a table reserved for two over at Sardies, you’ll love it.” Howie said taking her arm.
“Oh all right, it’ll be nice to talk to another person, face to face without a bunch of other people around. But lets go check and see if AJ’s in his room.” Win replied as they walked out together, arm in arm.

Everyone was gathering in the dining room at the hotel while Win and Howie were walking through the lobby.
AJ sat down at the table, watching two people walking with linked arms out of the hotel.
“Have you seen Win?” AJ asked Tessa as she sat down across from him.
“Oh she’s at lunch with Howie, he wanted to take her out to apologize for yesterday.” Tessa replied airily.
“Why didn’t he tell me?” he asked.
“Because he didn’t think he needed your approval to apologize to Win.” Kevin replied. “Relax, you know she’s not that type of girl.” None the less worried, AJ slunk back in his seat and found an unpleasant rumbling setting down roots in his stomach.
“Hey AJ, Win was looking for you over at the stage, she wanted you to go to lunch with her and Howie.” Daemon said sitting down at the table with Dennis.
“She did?” he asked.
“Yeah, said they were going over to Sardies.”
AJ’s stomach finally was at rest when Win returned that afternoon and told him strait away that she had lunch with Howie, as per his apology.
“He didn’t tell me that the reservations were for one until we were leaving. I tried your room, and we stopped by the venue before we left, and couldn’t find you, I hope you don’t mind.” Consequently though, Win did not take any more private lunches with Howie, in fact no private meetings at all ever occurred again between her and Howie. She did have an idea that AJ may feel threatened by this outing, but she would not come right out and say it. With her actions she reassured him that she only cared about him, and was not interested in anyone else. She was going to be very careful and clear about the message she sent, she cared about AJ, and no one else.

Part I Chapter 23

That evening the stage crew was going clubbing and the guys were going out to dinner with management. Win feigned sick and told AJ to enjoy himself.
“I’ll be fine here, you, go, have a good time. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“I’d rather stick around and take care of you,” he replied.
“It’s just a bad headache, and I’ve already taken something for it, it’ll go away by itself. Now go.”
“But it won’t be any fun without you,” he tried.
“Just go.”
AJ left reluctantly, Win waving him out the door. She waited another half an hour before checking that just about everyone was gone. When they were, she quickly changed her clothes, slipping on AJ’s baggy green sweatshirt and his red baseball cap that he’d given her when she’d been cold one night. She grabbed her own sunglasses she’d bought only that morning and looked in the mirror. Yes, she was totally transformed from the Winfred Caldon everyone knew and AJ adored into a nameless and faceless person in the crowd.
She slipped out of the hotel unnoticed and walked fourteen blocks to the club she’d noticed on the way into town. “Federline Follies” was the name spelled out in giant neon lights over the large double doors. She entered, pulling her cap down automatically, although her face was hardly recognizable through the sunglasses and hat. It was a gaudy lounge, done in loud purple, green and blue. The front desk was cartoonish and sported a deskman with a jaunty haircut and a purple suit.
Win approached and said,
“I want to sign up for the comedy battle.”
“Ah, a yes, here you are my dear, just sign on the dotted line here.” He said with toothy grin, placing a lurid purple clipboard, with an overly elaborate signup page, also in purple on the counter in front of her. Win took the gold pen attached at the board’s top and signed seventh on the page, although only the first three lines were filled out. She placed the pen back under the clip and returned the board to the man. He picked it up and looked at the name.
“Ah, lucky number seven I see. Is it, Miss, Freddie Louis?” he asked trying to lift the cap from her eyes. She jerked back before he could touch it and replied,
“Yes, Miss. Where do I go please?”
“Oh, all right dear. Straight through those doors, take a seat. We’ll call you to come up. Now the rules are, you get ten minutes to do your routine, at which time the audience will be polled to see if they want you to continue. If you last the longest, you win the bucket of tips, plus five hundred dollars from ‘Federline Follies’ and you come back tomorrow night to have a challenger compete against you for that night’s tips. Got all that dear?” he said quickly. Win nodded her head and he replied,
“Well then welcome to ‘Federline Follies’ hope you make us laugh, cause you don’t want you leaving last.” Win walked away towards another set of double doors to the show room. Everything here was also purple, blue or green. Everything was big, gaudy and oversized, but it was clean, and there were no smokers. A guy in a blue zoot suit was up on stage telling jokes, and Win suspected he was the opening act. The room was buzzing with laughter as Win took a seat near the back of the large room.
People ambled in and out causally, and Win sat back, ignoring the comedian, and watched her surroundings. A waitress came by and offered a drink so Win ordered a water to keep her throat from drying up and thanked her.
As the first comedian wound down Win recognized a voice as a group of people filtered into the lounge.
“I told you this place was still here, we came here the last time we were touring.” It was AJ’s distinct rasping voice.
“Yeah, this place is kinda cool.” This time it was Nick. Win heard evidence that AJ, Nick, Brian, Brianna, Daemon, Dennis and three others that she didn’t recognize, walking towards her table. She shrunk down into her seat, pulling the cap even lower and continuing to hold it, blocking her face entirely. Win waited until the nine forms passed in front of her, taking no notice of her, before sitting up again.
She watched as Brian helped Brianna into a soft couch booth and then slid in beside her. They were towards the middle of the show room, a good distance away from her and from the stage. Odds were that they would not recognize her. Unless they walked up to her and stared directly at her, or AJ recognized his clothes she was okay. Realizing this she pulled off the sweatshirt and turned it inside out before putting it back on. She also pulled her hair back and put it inside the sweatshirt. They’d never know it was her.
The night wore on and the comedy battle began. The first person bombed, badly, leaving the stage after only three minutes. The second and third were okay, but were not asked back after their ten minutes. The forth, a woman, dressed in high heels and straight-legged jeans, with big poofed hair and Las Vegas T-shirt, was stiff competition. She lasted the entire ten minutes, was asked back for ten more, and then the audience still wanted more. The fifth and six people were good, but not good enough. Now it was Win’s turn, she had to knock them dead.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Miss. Freddie Louis!” Win stood up to a polite applause and walked up to the stage. She now realized how big the room was. But she couldn’t be nervous now. She thought about the money instead. She forgot that anyone was watching and launched into some improvisation. She hadn’t even come up with an act for the show. Right now was the only time she’d ever thought about the things she was saying.
“Now, there is one saying that I really don’t understand. Now when a woman is pregnant, they like to say, she’s got a bun in the oven. Now ladies, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any part of my body, no matter how large it is growing, referred to as a piece of kitchen cooking equipment. I mean, lets think about this, if women have ovens, men must have something, like, oh, I don’t know, a turkey baster in the utensil drawer?” The crowd burst out laughing so hard that even Win started laughing as well.
“But I don’t know, I haven’t basted any turkeys lately, I got to get going, thanks for thinking some of the screwed up thoughts I have are funny.” Win gave a wave and departed the mike.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our second contender for the championship, Miss Freddie Louis, lasting a grand total of thirty minutes! Our next contestant a one Mister Bryan Birdie!” Win got back to her seat quickly through a standing ovation and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d done it, she’d made it past the ten minutes, and she’d made it past twenty. After she’d been on twenty minutes the crowd wanted more, and wouldn’t stop booing till she came back on stage.
The next competitor lasted only seven minutes. The ninth and tenth competitors were no match for Win and both balked. There were no more people to compete. It was now down to just Win and Las Vegas lady. Las Vegas lady went back up and did another twenty-minute set to a roaring applause. She was now beating Win by ten minutes.
When it was her turn Win returned to the stage and steamrolled ahead. When she finished, the applause was so loud it was deafening. The crowd stood up and hollered and cheered and roared. After the noise died down, the battle host came up onto the stage and announced the scores.
“Now with sixty minutes, an all time new record for ‘Federline Follies’, is Miss Freddie Louis. And Miss Eliday Messer is still not out of it with forty minutes. We’re going to do the applause test.” The host pulled Win and Las Vegas lady forward and held one hand up over the other lady. The cheering was admirable for her but nothing compared to the pandemonium the room went through for Win.

After the show, the waitresses brought Win the tips in a large bucket. The front deskman counted out five hundred dollars in new hundred-dollar bills and grinned at her as he did so. As she was flattening out the rest of her tips, she saw AJ coming out with the rest of the group.
“Hey, there’s that Freddie girl. Lets go say hi,” Nick said making a b-line for Win. Win didn’t know if she could get away with seeing them face to face so she grabbed the rest of her money, crumpled it into her pockets and ran.
She’d run twelve blocks before she stopped to catch her breath and clutch a stitch in her side. There was no sign of the guys or any of the crew. She looked around once more before running the last two blocks and dashing inside the hotel.
In the elevator she nervously tapped her leg, waiting for the elevator to get to her floor. Finally it did and she burst out and nearly flew to her room. Once inside she ripped off the shirt, hat and glasses, stuffing them haphazardly into her bag. She used the bathroom quickly and then flung herself over Jen’s bed, landed on her own and grabbed a book. Then she realized the money stuffed in her pockets. She jumped back up, scaring her rat so that he jumped around his cage in fright, and emptied her pockets of the wads of cash. Not knowing what else to do with it, she shoved all the cash in a sock and stuck it at the bottom of her bag.
She took a moment to calm her breathing down. The first clue to not be sick would be her fast breathing from all the running she had been doing. Consoling Jack, she walked back to her bed and sat down. She picked up her book she’d dropped on the floor in her rush and kicked off her sneakers.
Sitting back she stared at the words on her marked page and didn’t see them. She felt dishonest. Why couldn’t she just tell them what she did. It’s not like they would have been ashamed of her, or been mad at her for what she was doing.
But then again, she thought, they constantly ragged on her being a singing sensation, now that she’d got a little lucky on the stage tonight, they’d think she was surefire comedian material. She’d agreed with herself a long time ago when the minister of the church tried to introduce her to a record man that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with show business. He pushed and pushed until she finally told the minister she had to leave. She stopped going to the church to sing from then on. After that happened the record man found her working at a local grocery store and said,
“Look, I know you don’t want to be a singer, but if you just want a job, a real job that will get you off the streets, let me know.” Win had taken his card and put it in her pocket. She carried it for a week before calling to find out what kind of job it was. That afternoon she met Red and Daemon and was given a nametag, keys and a title, “assistant to stage manager”. The rest was history.
Win had left behind her friends, her old life, her jobs and everything she’d known for the past seven years.
She certainly did not want to be a singer. Not that she believed she would be popular either, but she never liked a lot of people focusing on her. She didn’t trust strangers, she didn’t like not being able to look into people’s eyes and see what they wanted from her. Singing in front of large crowds, not being able to look into the eyes of the faces that watched her, was too disconcerting. She did not want AJ’s life.
A few minutes later AJ popped in the door with Jen.
“Aw Win, you should have come with us tonight, we went to this comedy club, ‘Feder-’ something or other, anyways, there was this one girl, oh my god, she was hysterical.” AJ said sitting down beside her on the bed.
“See, I told you, you can have fun without me.” Win replied putting her book back on the nightstand.
“I hate to admit it, but she really was funny. So how are you? Feeling better?” he asked pressing a hand to her forehead.
“I’m fine, and I had a headache, not a fever.” She laughed.
“Okay, okay,” he said sliding his hand down along her face and cupping her cheek.
“But you have to come back with us tomorrow night,” he replied.
“How come?” Win asked worried.
“Oh she won the battle or something, Daemon told me this girl was hilarious, I’m taking Taylor tomorrow.” Jen replied before pulling out some pajamas.
“So, rain or shine, I’m taking you out tomorrow.” AJ finished, patting Win’s leg.
“Sorry, but I gotta do a favor for Red tomorrow night.” Win replied. In fact she did have something to do for Red tomorrow, but that was in the afternoon, she wanted to be free to go and perform again.
“Ah come on, can’t he have someone else do it?” AJ asked annoyed.
“Sorry babe, I’m it. I’m his assistant, gotta do something he asks of me.”
“All right, all right, the next free night, I get you all to myself, okay?” he asked.
“Of course darling,” Win purred, rolling her eyes at him.
“I mean it, I’m sick of sharing you.”
“Now AJ, if I can deal with sharing you with all those screaming girls, then you ought to be able to share me with my job.”
“Okay, I get it, I get it.”
“Well look, you can have her all to yourself tonight, I’ll go stay in AJ’s room.” Jen said emerging from the bathroom. AJ quickly threw her his key and she was out the door in a matter of seconds.
“Now that was sneaky.” Win said eyeing him.
“I know, I just want to sleep with you, not you know, sleep, with you in that sense. Like on the bus, I mean, you wont even kiss me yet.” He said climbing into bed with her.
“For a very good reason, you’ll soon find out.” She said as she turned on her side and laid down.
“Ooh, soon? I’ll get to kiss you soon?” he asked.
“Never you mind.”
“Okay,” he replied scooting down next to her and wrapping his one arm around her. His leg flopped up over her hip and rested there.
“I still can’t get over that.” She laughed as she snapped off the light.
“Does it bother you, I’ll move it,” he said snuggling closer to her.
“No, it’s okay, it’s just funny.” She said patting the leg over her hip.
“Just don’t move around too much.”
“Why’s that?” she asked.
“Cause it’s not that easy to not think about not sleeping, especially when you are supposed to be just sleeping with you, in this position.” Win could only laugh.

Part I Chapter 24

Win’s job for Red took her the greater part of the day. She wanted to be back to “Federline Follies” by seven, but that didn’t look like it was going to happen. AJ had sulked all day without Win to take his mind off his troubles. Not only had she still not answered him about going home to meet his mother, but she was out the entire day working, and he was worried about a talk he had agreed to do for a school about drug addiction.
It had been five years since AJ had mentioned his stay in rehab, since his public announcements of staying sober, of being burned at the MTV awards by that smart mouth comic. The first time he had brought it up was with Win, he’d never talked to his mother or grandfather about it, the guys, their manager, not even his later girlfriends did he tell. He never thought about it. Those were two months he did not want to rehash. Those days were off limits to the public, his friends, family, even to himself, until he met Win. She’d been through much of what he had, and she could still carry a smile on her face. She’d been through even more than he had, at least he had a family to fall back on, and enough money to be independent and quite comfortable. Win had lived in the streets for seven years. Yet she could walk and talk among people she didn’t even know two months ago and feel at home, while he, felt like strangers with the boys he’d grown up with, now the men he considered his brothers. Win walked around, studying the eyes of others, always laughing, engaging in conversations, he hid behind his glasses and under his hats, shielding his face, his expressions and his thoughts.
Anniversaries of when he finally kicked the habits of cocaine and alcohol rolled around and depressed him. He thought of those last uses with bitterness. It reminded him of all the stupid, hurtful, irresponsible, humiliating, irreversible things he’d done while stoned out of his mind or drunk to the point of falling over. He was ashamed, so ashamed of what he’d done.
How could he march out onto a stage in front of five hundred high school students, as if he were a hero because he, an over-pampered, self centered, rich, asshole, who, had been addicted to cocaine and alcohol and was rich enough to go into a fancy rehabilitation clinic and come back out “cured”? Well he wasn’t cured, and he was no hero. And there was no way in hell he was going out onto a stage to talk about the two months he’d spent fighting to keep himself away from the bottle to deaden his pain. He knew, deep down inside, that if he could get his hand on one drop, he’d go back to his old ways, and he was sure, that this time, he wouldn’t return.
Looking back on the day he had agreed to speak at the school he realized that he really didn’t make the decision. It was the day after Win told him she’d taken drugs as well. In a mad moment, where he wasn’t thinking, he’d agreed to do it, emphatically so. Now he was dead set against it. Now no one could change his mind, not even Win would be able to put him into it.
By the end of the day, AJ had gotten himself so nervous that he was sick. His stomach hurt so bad he could little think of any thing else. After the few appearances they made that morning AJ went right back to his room and stayed there. He was not going out tonight, he just felt too sick and he missed Win.
At around seven thirty Win rushed up to AJ’s room when she heard he was sick. He answered the door, barely able to walk, he saw her worried face.
“I’m okay beautiful, really, oh wait, no I’m not.” AJ said quickly putting a hand over his mouth. He tried to run to the bathroom but tripped and fell to the floor. Win rushed and helped him up to the bathroom where he got sick. He felt Win’s hand on his back as his stomach convulsed so hard it hurt.
When he finally emerged from the toilet bowl he found he also thrown up on his shirt.
“God, I haven’t been this sick since the last time I was drunk, no wonder I gave it up,” he said miserably as his head swam.
“Here rinse your mouth out,” he heard as a cup of water was pushed gently into his hand. He did so, spitting the water out and flushing the toilet. He tried to stand, but he couldn’t.
“Hold on there cowboy, here, take this off.” He felt like a little kid again as Win pulled his shirt off over his head, but he was too weak to do much.
“Lets get you cleaned up.” Apparently not only had he vomited on his shirt, but his pants as well, and the floor. Win washed his face off, and used a clean cloth to press cool water on his face, wrists and the back of his neck.
“Okay boy, we’re gonna put you to bed.” She said pulling one of his arms over her shoulder, and putting another hand on his chest as she lifted him off the floor. AJ pushed up and felt her lifting him and walking towards the bed. She sat him on the edge gently and helped him change out of his clothes with vomit and into some pajama pants. She helped him tenderly lay down and went back to clean up the bathroom and grab a garbage can to place beside the bed. Win also brought a glass of water with her and a clean cloth.
Win went to the opposite side of the bed she’d placed AJ on and climbed in, sitting against the headboard. AJ climbed into her lap and laid his head on her legs, closing his eyes as she stroked his hair.
“I thought you had to do something for Red.” He mumbled.
“Never you mind, you just rest, I’m here now.” She replied, her other hand finding his and gently rubbing his fingers as they clutched at her knee. She was no fool, she was not leaving him, not now. Times like these are what cement people together.
“I’m glad you’re here.” He said with closed eyes.
“Shh, just go to sleep.” He spoke no more, but every once in a while she felt his body tighten up from the nervousness that he might get sick again. She calmly stroked his hair and sang a few notes until she was sure he was asleep.
“The time has come, for you my love, to hold me now, the time has come, for us to dance so close, upon the stars, near and far, my dear one, now close your eyes, please don’t lose your way, open your heart and see that time has stayed, for us, my love.”

Part I Chapter 25

AJ woke up still in Win’s lap, her hand in his hair and the other still on his back. He lingered for a moment, realizing that she was asleep and listened to her soft and easy breathing. He closed his eyes tight for a moment, thinking he might be dreaming and snapped them open again. But she was still here with him, still touching his chest, still holding him to comfort him. He savored this thought, smiling brightly to himself for the first time in a long time and slowly pulled out from under her arms. Her body lay limply against the padded headboard as her chest rose and fell gently. He stared at her, noticing the freckles along her cheeks, her soft brown eye lashes, her carved and lovely cheeks. The delicate lips he so wanted to kiss sat there staring back at him, taunting him as she slept.
The backs of her hands now lay pressed against the sheets and he looked closely at her wrists. They bore scars, numerous ones. Old track marks from her heroin days and haphazard gashes across her wrists, both of them. She’d tried to kill herself, at least once. He felt a piece of himself fall off the high wall he’d placed it on. Win was weak too, she could not pick him up all the way by herself, she’d need his help too.
Quietly he climbed out of the bed and stretched, he felt much better now, strong and relaxed. The idea that Win had stayed with him, had come running when he heard he was sick was enough to make him want to fly.
He put a hand up to his mouth and checked his breath, he cringed at it and thought he should brush his teeth.
By the time he was dressed, Win was stirring. She looked around for AJ for a minute and when she found him she asked,
“You feeling better?”
“Yes, and it was all because of you.” He said sitting down beside her, but she still looked worried.
“Come here, let me see,” she replied putting her hands on his forehead and his face, feeling his temperature.
“Are you sure you’re feeling better?” she asked as her hands slid down his neck, checking the temperature there also.
“I told you I feel fine, you don’t have to worry.”
“I have to worry, you were really sick, what happened? You were fine when I saw you at breakfast yesterday? What did you eat?” she asked, still concerned.
“I just got a case of the nerves is all. About that talk I’m supposed to give on Friday.”
“So that’s what it is,” she said relaxing and smiling.
“Yeah.”
“So what’s the matter, why are you nervous.”
“Well, I’m not nervous anymore, I’m not doing it.” He replied. He expected her to smack him, yell at him, at least give him a dirty look.
“Okay,” she said simply nodding her head.
“You’re not gonna try and get me to do it?” he asked surprised.
“Nope, it’s your decision, you’re a big boy, if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to.” She got up out of the bed and went to the bathroom. When she came back out, he was still sitting on the bed stunned.
“You think I should do it?” he asked.
“I’m not qualified to give that answer.” She replied, walking around the room and picking up his clothes that he had strewn around the place and folding them into a neat pile on the bed beside him.
“Not qualified, you were a drug addict too! What would you do?” he asked turning to her. She couldn’t be sure of his expression because he was as always wearing his sunglasses.
“Honestly I have no affinity to speak in front of a large group of people who I do not know.” She replied.
“So you wouldn’t do it either.” He said nodding his head.
“I didn’t say that. I just said I wouldn’t stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and speak. If I knew who it was, if I’d met the people at least, it wouldn’t feel so awkward.”
“So you’d rather explain what you went through to an audience of the crew and the guys as opposed to a crowd of strangers?” he asked.
“Exactly.”
“I’m not doing it,” he said again.
“Like I said AJ, you can do what you want.”
“Then I’m not doing it.”
“Good, now change the subject, you’re getting annoying.” She replied. She didn’t act angry that he wasn’t going to do the talk, besides, she said she wouldn’t do it either. She couldn’t possibly be mad at him.
“Cause if you want me to do it, I still wont.”
“AJ!” she said exasperated, throwing down the T-shirt she was folding, “this is just one of those things that you will have to decide on your own. Don’t throw guilt in this. If you do it cause you feel guilty, you’ll regret it later. You decide what you, and what’s comfortable to you and that’s all that matters.” He sat quiet for a moment, realizing that he had indeed tried to get her to make him feel guilty enough to do it. But he still didn’t feel confident enough, he still would not do it.
“Now if you’d stop giving yourself a pity party I’d tell you something that would make you very happy.” She said coyly. He looked up at her quickly.
“What are you talking about?”
“I thought about it, and decided, I want to go home with you to meet your family.”
“You’re kidding?” he asked.
“No I’m not, just when you asked me out there, in front of everyone, it took me by surprise is all. I would love to meet your family.” She replied. He jumped up and threw his arms around her waist, spinning her in a circle.
“That is the best thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth in two days!” he said when he put her down.
“I can’t wait to tell my mom, she’s so excited to meet you.” He said with a large goofy grin.
“You’ve told her a lot about me then?” she asked.
“The very first night I met you, I called her and said, ‘Ma, this is the one.’”
“That’s very sweet, but cut the crap, what did you really say?”
“Oh okay, I said that I had met the most incredible, funny, and beautiful woman, and there was one drawback, she had a rat for a pet.” Win laughed.
“Sorry, he comes with the package, love me, love my rat.”
“And what if I do?”
“What if you what?” she asked suspiciously.
“Love you?”
“Easy boy, we ain’t getting that far yet. You gotta take me home to mama first.”

Part I Chapter 26

The next two weeks towards the big break went smooth. AJ cancelled his talk at the school without a guilt trip from Win, but he did feel bad after he did it. Even that could not damper his mood about Win coming to stay with him for two weeks, to meet his mom. This would be the real test, if his mom liked her, then she was definitely for real. He’d known enough girls that had dated him just because of who he was. He’d read that stupid book by one of his ex’s “Loving AJ” and still shook his head at the thought of it. He already knew Win was different, but his mom saying it would seal the deal. His mom always knew.
The last concert was in Nevada and then they would head to LA to make all final arrangements and plans in their home base of Holly Wood. AJ had already reserved a flight for Win, him, and to his displeasure, Jack the rat, to Maryland where he had just bought his mom a house on the shore.
Win was on the crew bus with Red, Daemon, Steve and their assistants. Jen was sitting beside her as they listened to their instructions about the break.
“We’ve got a concert the night after we get back together, so be ready to jump right back into work.” Daemon chorused for a third time. Jen and Win, as well as the rest of the assistants sat with glazed eyes. Why couldn’t she have gone on AJ’s bus? Or how come he couldn’t have ridden on her bus. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
The bus swayed dangerously sending papers and notebooks careening to the floor off the table. Red grabbed the couch for support and finally the bangs stopped and the bus jolted to a stop.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” Red screamed jumping up and running to the front of the bus. The doors snapped open and the driver popped out. Win looked out the window and saw AJ’s bus also stopped a few yards away. She looked closer. There were several tires popped on the bus.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SIX FUCKING POPPED TIRES! WE DON’T HAVE THAT MANY SPARES!” Win heard Red screaming. Daemon closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Great, fabulous, just frigging fabulous.” He said standing up and going out the door. Slowly, everyone filed out of the bus to look at the damage. The crew bus was sitting lopsided on its two unpopped tires and AJ’s bus was down to only three tires.
“What the hell could have caused that much damage?” Steve asked. He and Daemon walked over to the road they had all just careened off of and looked around. In the mean time AJ was rushing over to Win grabbing her up into a bear hug.
“You okay beautiful?” he asked.
“Yes AJ, I’m fine, but your going to break my ribs!” she laughed.
“Oh, sorry.” He replied loosening his grip.
“There was glass all over the road, big chunks of it too.” Daemon said rubbing his head.
“So how did the rest of the tour get through this?” Red asked.
“The rest of the tour took the long way around, they had to drop off four people in Las Vegas.” Daemon replied.
“Convenient,” Red snapped.
“It’s not like it would have been any better if four buses and how many vans were also stopped. Look, we’ll just call for help.” Daemon replied pulling out his phone.
“Shit, no service. Everyone check your cell phones! We need one that works!” Daemon called. Everyone tried, but it was the same, no service, although that did not surprise Daemon, here they were in the middle of the desert, there most likely was not a tower for considerable miles around.
“I’ll use the radio Dae!” Alex called trotting back into the bus.
“OH MY GOD!” Everyone turned when they heard the scream. Kevin came pelting out of the bus towards the crowd of people.
“Brianna’s water just broke!” he said.
“Oh shit,” Daemon replied.
“Oh my God,” Win replied.
“And she wants you,” Kevin said looking directly at Win.
“Me?” Win’s eyes went wide.
“Yes, now come on,” Kevin grabbed her hand and led her to the bus.
“Alex, we need an ambulance, right away!” Daemon screamed running into the bus.

Inside the guys’ bus Win found Brianna half sitting, half laying down on the couch, trying to stay calm, but Brian wasn’t making matters any easier. He was pacing up and down the small hallway, furiously pounding his phone to make it work. Win was nervous enough without Brian and she was sure that he was making poor Brianna even more scared and nervous.
“Get him out of here.” Win said shaking her head at Brian. Kevin nodded and dragged Brian out of the bus.
Win sat down beside Brianna and patted her leg.
“How are you doing sweetie?” she asked.
“Been better, not pregnant, oh, oh, oh!” Brianna screamed clutching her stomach.
“OH that was a bad contraction!” she moaned. Win’s eyes went wide.
“You’re having contractions already?”
“That was the third one. Oh my god, here comes another one.” Brianna’s screams were so loud that everyone outside the bus heard them. Win got up and yelled out the door,
“Daemon! We need that ambulance, now!”
She ducked back inside and got Brianna something to drink.
“There’s, the, there’s the baby book, in Brian’s bunk, look in there.” Brianna said pointing down the hall. Win jumped up and searched for the book. When she found it she brought it back and searched through it till she found emergency delivery. She read each passage quickly, her eyes widening with each word she read.
“We can’t get anyone here for another three hours,” Daemon said coming into the bus.
“Oh no,” Brianna moaned. The tears were building her eyes.
“Daemon! Get out! She doesn’t need to hear that!” Win yelled pushing him back out the door. She went back to the book and started making preparations in case the baby came sooner than three hours. She followed the book’s instructions, which still didn’t make her feel any more confident in what she was doing.
“Winifred?” Brianna asked, the tears falling steadily now.
“Yes sweetie, what is it?” Win asked tenderly.
“I’m scared, what happens if this baby comes before the ambulance gets here?”
“Oh don’t you worry, you and the baby will be fine.” Win said, trying to reassure Brianna as well as herself.

Fifteen minutes later Brianna’s contractions were coming every five minutes. Win did her best trying to keep Brianna comfortable while reading snippets here and there, hoping to God she wouldn’t have to do this.
Two hours drifted by. Brian popped in and out, but he only seemed to be making Brianna more nervous. Win helped Brianna with her Lamaze breathing, she’d worked once for three weeks in a community center as an assistant to a Lamaze coach and knew a little about it. She found it hard to remember everything she’d learned, that had been four years ago now.
As the minutes passed Brianna’s contractions became closer together and more powerful to the point that she was screaming. The ambulance was still an hour away.
“Win, I got a doctor on the phone, he wants you to,” Brian said running in, but Win just grabbed the phone from him. She spoke to the doctor on the other line but Brian was fretting around and disturbing Brianna. She put the phone on her shoulder and screamed,
“Brian, get your ass over here and just help Brianna, help her sit up! Kevin! Get in here!” Brian did as he was told sitting down and pulling Brianna into his lap to hold her up. Kevin rushed in and listened to Win’s instructions.
“The baby is coming now, it’s not going to wait, okay, okay doctor, I’ll do it.” Win spoke into the phone. Meanwhile Brianna screamed to Kevin.
“Get the camera, we don’t want to the baby to miss this.” Kevin did as he was told.
“Oh big help,” Brian snapped. Kevin juggled the video camera and the regular digital camera.
“Brian, just shut up, Brianna, you need to get ready to push, okay, three big ones, I’m gonna count to ten and then I want you to push,” Win counted and on ten Brianna screamed as she pushed.
“I see the head, I’m gonna count again,” Brianna pushed a second time.
“You’re almost there, Brianna, come on.”
“I can’t, I can’t.” she cried.
“Yes you can Brianna, this baby needs you! Now push!”
“I can’t do it!”
“Honey, come on, you’ve come this far, you can do it!” Brian encouraged.
“Brianna, look at that ring, look at it, you wanted to show that to your baby one day, I dove to the bottom of the dumpster to find that ring so you could show your baby, now push!” Brianna pushed one more time and cries were heard outside the bus.
“It’s a girl, a perfect baby girl.” Win said lifting the baby to Brianna’s arms.
“Oh Brian, look at her, just look at her.” Brianna cooed. Brian was sitting in astonishment, staring at his wife and baby.
Win stood up and walked out of the bus, finishing her talk on the phone with the doctor before handing the phone over to Brian.
Everyone had gathered around the bus as Win emerged, covered in blood.
“She’s fine, it’s a girl,” she said walking towards her bus. A great cheer went up and sirens were heard in the distance. The bus was empty and she proceeded to the bathroom to scrub off her hands. She changed her clothes and returned to the door of the bus just in time to see Brianna, her new baby girl and Brian being shut up in the ambulance.
She looked down at the ground and watched the ambulance pull away.
“Hey! Here you are! The woman of the moment!” AJ said bounding up to the bus and pulling her down. He picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the group.
“Here she is!” he said putting her down in the circle.
“Way to go Win!”
“You were incredible!”
“What a way to take charge!” Win was spun around among her fellow crewmembers, all patting her on the back and congratulating her.
“Looks like you’re one of the family now!” Nick chimed in hugging her. But she’d never felt so far away from these people before, she’d never felt so alone in her life.

Part I Chapter 27

They arrived at the hospital by nightfall. Everyone was anxious to meet the new baby and see how Brianna was doing. Brian met them in the waiting room, beaming from ear to ear.
“She’s just fine, absolutely fine. Both are perfectly healthy and happy. Ah, Win! Thank the lord for you!” he said wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly.
“What would we have done without you!” he exclaimed.
“You’d have kicked into parent mode and done it yourself.” Win replied nervously.
“No, you were the difference, you really were. Come on, Brianna wants to see you.” Brian said leading her forward.
“No, really, you’re family should see her first.”
“No, besides, they won’t be here till tomorrow morning. Come, she’s been asking for you.” Brian pulled her into the room gently, but forcibly at the same time.
Brianna was in bed holding the baby in her arms. When she looked up and saw Win she smiled.
“Oh Winifred, I can’t thank you enough.” She sighed. Win gave a nervous smile.
“Well, uh, you’re welcome. But you did most of the work.” She said tugging at her shirt.
“Here, come hold her.” Win approached the side of the bed timidly, looking at the bundle of blankets that was the baby.
“Brian, here, give her the baby,” Brianna said handing the baby to Brian gently.
“Here you go Win,” Brian said placing the baby in her arms. She looked down into the child’s face, watching her sleep peacefully. She was definitely Brian’s child. She looked just like him. Her head was covered in light blond fuzz, resembling her mother. She was undeniably beautiful. She looked up and saw Brian taking her picture, she smiled as much as she could and he clicked again.
“She’s lovely.” Win replied.
“We talked it over and decided on a name.” Brianna said smiling, Brian taking her hand in his.
“What is it?” Win asked looking up.
“Winifred Grace.” Brian replied. Win did a double take.
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“Winifred, we’re naming her after you.” Brianna replied.
“Oh, you don’t want to do that, really.” Winifred said hastily, handing the baby back to Brian.
“Why not, you’re her Godmother,” Brian replied rocking the baby.
“I’m not her Godmother, you should have one of your close friends be a Godmother.” Win said scared.
“Win, you dove to the bottom of a dumpster to find my wedding ring, you delivered my baby, how much closer of a friend do you want to be?” Brianna asked reaching for her hand, but she started walking slowly towards the door.
“Really, you don’t want to name your baby after a former homeless drug addict, and you don’t want me looking after her.” Win replied. Brian handed the baby back to Brianna and headed Win off at the door.
“Winifred, you’ve done some wonderful things. We want you as a part of our life. We want you to be our child’s godmother, and we want her to be named Winifred. Please, don’t push us away.” Brian said putting his arms around her again and pulling her close.
“Okay, sure.” Win replied still unsure.
“I’m gonna go get something to eat, you guys enjoy. Congratulations.” Win said patting him on the back and waving to Brianna. She went out the door, letting him go and walked quickly away from everyone. A few minutes later she looked around and found herself at the nursery. She stopped and looked through the glass, watching the nurses attend to the babies. She couldn’t believe that less than five hours ago she had helped a woman deliver her baby.
As she stared at the babies she wondered. Which of these babies would end up with good loving parents like Brian and Brianna, which of these babies would end up in orphanages? Which of these babies would die within the next year? Which of these babies would have to endure the pain of no family or no love? She felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Which one would you want to take home?” AJ asked.
“The one that needs a home.” She replied.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Today just brought a lot of things back.” She replied.
“Like what?” he asked carefully.
“Just when I held the baby, right after she was born, I wanted to know, who, who could ever hurt a child. Who could abandon a child, looking at them and not seeing that they were needed?”
“I don’t know beautiful.” He said moving behind her and encircling her waist with his arms. She could feel the tears burning in her eyes.
“What I really want to know is how was I different from any of these babies, how was I different from Brian and Brianna’s baby? What did I do to be thrown in a dumpster?” She didn’t want to cry the tears blurring her vision. But when AJ turned her around and hugged her to his chest she started and couldn’t stop.
“Oh beautiful, you were one of those babies, you deserved good parents, they just couldn’t see it. But now you have people to care about you. I care about you, and I would never, never allow anyone to hurt you.” AJ said holding her tightly to him. Win clung to him, her tears still spilling on his shirt.
“No matter what happens, I will always care about you Win, always. Don’t you ever forget that. You have a family now, you have me. And no one can take me away from you.” Win cried even more at that. She hated crying, it made her feel weak. She didn’t like feeling weak but AJ was strong, and as he held her, she felt for the first time in seven years, safe. She looked up at him.
“I soaked your shirt now,” she said. He laughed.
“That’s okay. I don’t mind. Come on, lets go to the hotel, get something to eat and get some rest. Tomorrow, we fly to Maryland. Where you can meet another member of your family.” He replied touching her nose. He used his sleeve to wipe away the rest of her tears.
“No more crying, I don’t have a dry spot left for you to cry on.” He said, making her laugh again.
“Thank you.” She said.
“For what?”
“For being my family.”

Part I Chapter 28

Win, AJ, and Jack got on their plane early the next morning. AJ was so ecstatic to be on his way home with Win that he was asking her to kiss her every five minutes. She laughed every time he requested and politely told him no. He settled for kissing her cheeks and neck as much as she would tolerate, or until the stewardess looked at him funny.
It was a long flight but Win was content to spend her time talking to AJ and listen to him obsess over her and what he liked about her.
“You are so amazing Win, I can’t wait for my mom to meet you!” he kept on.
“You keep talking like that, you’re going to give me a complex.” She laughed.
“And you need to start taking compliments.” He said kissing her hand and moving up her arm.
“I’ll have to get a file cabinet to store them all in. Uh oh, here comes the stewardess again.” Win said with a worried look. Indeed the stewardess was back, giving AJ a look.
“Sir, I’m sorry but some of the other passengers are complaining.” She said. AJ still had a hold of Win’s arm and pulled his head up to say,
“And what exactly are they saying?”
“Well, that they are sick of watching you slobber all over your girlfriend.” Win pulled her arm out of AJ’s grasp and sat back, shrinking in her seat a couple of inches.
“Then tell them to turn around and look the other way, I don’t give a crap what they want or not.” He replied leaning in and kissing Win on the cheek.
“But sir,” she started again.
“If you have a problem with us, give us another more private seat. And if you still have a problem, then, fine me, I don’t care.” AJ went back to kissing Win’s fingers and ignored the stewardess who stomped away.
They arrived in Maryland around noon. AJ carried his and Win’s bags to the cab while she held Jack. It was a fairly short drive to his mom’s house, but AJ couldn’t sit still. Win had never seen him so happy. Finally they arrived at the little house set on the water. A woman opened the door and ran out to the car.
She was a fairly short woman, a little thick with shoulder length curly black hair and olive skin tone, much like AJ’s.
“Oh Alex, baby, I have missed you!” she squealed as he hugged her tightly.
“Hey mom, I’ve missed you to.” He said.
“Oh just look at you, you look good. Love has been good to you!” she said patting his shoulder.
“And on that note, Mom, I want you to meet Winifred, Winifred, this is my mom, Denise.” AJ said swelling proudly.
“It is just so nice to finally meet you Winifred!” Denise threw her arms around Win and hugged her tightly.
“You are every bit a lovely as AJ said you were. My oh my!”
“Thank you Denise, it’s great to meet you too, AJ’s told me so much about you.” Win replied smiling warmly.
“Probably not half as much as he’s told me about you! I feel like I’ve known you my whole life! Well come inside, come inside!” Denise took Win’s backpack and carried it inside. She showed them where to place their things and took them out to the back patio over looking the channel.
“You have an absolutely beautiful home Denise,” Win remarked as Denise handed her a glass of lemonade.
“Thank you, but really, it’s all because of my boy here. He’s so good to his mother.” She said patting his hand.
“Well you deserve it ma,” he said leaning over and kissing the top of her head.
“He’s a good boy. So tell me, how has the tour been going?” she asked.
“Since the day I met Win, fantastic.” Win blushed slightly.
“Ooh, so that good huh?”
“He likes to over dramatize.” Win replied.
“I am not over dramatizing, she is the most amazing person I have ever met. Everyone on the crew loves her.” AJ replied.
“I get along with everyone is all.” She replied.
“See, she’s so modest, it’s adorable,” he said kissing her cheek as she blushed profusely.
“And not only that, but yesterday, you’ll never believe this, Brianna had her baby yesterday, and Win helped her deliver, on the bus.” AJ said slapping the table.
“You’re kidding?” Denise asked, eyes wide.
“Nope, she jumped into action. Win was amazing, she just went in there, and took charge.”
“I was not amazing, I just helped Brianna out is all.” Win said, again turning red.
“Stop acting like you didn’t do anything. Brian and Brianna tell me you saved that baby’s life. And I’m sure that without you, no one would have been able to do what you did.”
“AJ, stop, you’re embarrassing her. But that is still impressive. But moving on, AJ tells me you want to be an English teacher.”
“Yes, I’m saving up, I’m going to start applying soon, I’m going to try and get a scholarship. I’d really like to go to either Florida State, or some where in California, or Oregon.”
“AJ tells me you are a genius.” Denise replied.
“I’m not a genius.” Win replied.
“Those who are will never admit it.”
“Okay, fine, I am a genius.”
“Admit it Win, you were valedictorian at your high school!” AJ teased.
“So I was, that was seven years ago, it doesn’t matter much now.” Win replied shaking her head.
“You plan to stay on the entire tour?” Denise asked.
“Oh yes, I won’t have enough to start college until I’m done with the tour anyway. I want to have the whole amount saved up in advance, just in case a scholarship doesn’t come through.” Win replied.
“Good plan. Now if only I could get my boy to settle down.” Denise said pinching AJ’s cheek.
“Aw ma, I’ve got a girlfriend, that’s good enough for now isn’t it?” he asked.
“So when you going to make an honest woman out of her? I’m waiting for my grandchildren here! I’m not getting any younger!”
“I am still an honest woman, at least when it comes to your son here, and it’s only been two months, I might add.” Win said.
“Yeah mom, do you believe this, two months, and she wont even kiss me yet!” he said pretending to be annoyed.
“Yes, and I’m quite sure that I am not ready to settle down.” Win replied.
“We’ll see, we’ll see.”

Part I Chapter 29

The afternoon passed wonderfully, AJ, Win and Denise talked well into the evening. Around seven o’clock Denise jumped up.
“Oh my, look at the time! You all must be starved by now. Come inside, I’ll whip up something fantastic.” AJ and Win followed Denise inside and she motioned for them to sit at the counter.
“Let me help you mom,” AJ said setting down his glass.
“Oh thank you sweetie, there’s chicken in the fridge.” Denise said pulling a cutting board towards her and cutting vegetables.
“I didn’t know AJ could cook.” Win replied.
“He hasn’t told you he can cook? What does he talk about?” Denise asked.
“About you, about me, then you some more, then, me, me, lets see, oh and me, again.” Win laughed.
“I can’t help it if I’m hooked.” He said sheepishly returning to the counter with the chicken.
“Well maybe I’ll get to know some more about you instead of hearing you talk about me.”
“Oh, and I can tell you stories! He is an amazing cook Win, let me tell you. And, this is something he’ll never admit, he can sew too, his grandmother taught him.”
“Could we not talk about this please ma?” AJ asked coldly, a noticeable change in the tone of his voice. He turned on the stove and threw a pan onto the burner.
“All right, I guess I’ll just have to take out the photo albums from when you were just a wittle cute thing!” Denise squealed pinching his cheek.
“Aw, not the baby pictures! Please!” he begged.
“Oh, now I have to get them!” Denise said hurrying out of the room.
“Please don’t laugh too hard at my teenage years.” He said as he threw the chicken in the pan with the enthusiasm of a chef.
“Why? I’m sure you were a cute baby.” Win smiled.
“I was never cute.” AJ replied.
“I think you’re cute,” Win replied.
“Only you and my mother would.”
“Now that’s not true, that gay guy that gets you’re coffee thinks you’re hot too.”
“Great, I got guys looking at me now!”
“Not to mention the tons of screaming fans all the time.” Win reminded, wagging her finger at him.
“Oh yeah, kinda easy to forget about them. Lets see, Paprika, now, bam! Look at me, I’m Emeril!” AJ said throwing some spices on the chicken and tossing it around in the pan.
“Here we are! I’m sure you’ll love these!” Denise said, setting four large photo albums down on the counter in front of Win.
“I can look through these?” Win asked.
“Yes you can, no matter what AJ says.” Win grinned evilly at AJ and opened up the first book.
“Oh my god, you were so cute!” Win sighed looking at the pictures.
“You just opened up a whole can of worms.” AJ moaned.
“No, that is really cute.” Win said pointing to a picture in which AJ was about five years old, warring a red towel tied around his neck, a bucket on his head and a pair of yellow galoshes.
“Ah yes, his superhero phase. He was adorable then.” Denise said ruffling up AJ’s skullcap.
“What are you doing wearing those glasses in the house, I’m surprised you can even see what you are doing!” Denise exclaimed pulling his glasses off his face.
“Ma, come on, I’m cooking here,” AJ said trying to snatch the glasses back.
“No, you’re with company, it’s rude, which as a matter of fact, take off that hat too!” Denise said, with her hands on her hips.
“You took my glasses, I get to keep the hat.” AJ protested.
“I don’t understand, you are such a handsome boy, why do you insist on hiding behind your glasses and hats.” Denise reiterated.
“That’s what I told him.” Win said looking up. AJ just grunted a response. Denise just waved a hand at him and laughed.
“Men, can’t do nothing with them. So Win, did you happen to know what an attention hog this guy is?” Denise asked her.
“I would have never guessed.” Win laughed.
“We used to call little ham-o, right sweetie?”
“Ah yes, I remember that fondly, of course that was when I was the size of county fair pig.” AJ replied bitterly.
“Oh you were not that big.” Denise laughed as AJ removed the chicken from the stove and grabbed another pot and taking it to the sink.
“She doesn’t like to admit she had a porker for a son at one time.” Win looked up as she flipped through the books.
“When were these?” Win asked looking at some pictures where AJ must have been around twenty-two or twenty-three. He looked extremely thin and gaunt, ghostly almost but he was smiling as he held onto his mother.
“Oh that was about four years ago, right before,” Denise said slowly staring at the pictures.
“What kind of pasta do you want Ma?” AJ asked loudly.
“Oh, there’s fettuccini in the cabinet by the stove.” Denise said returning her glance to AJ. He gave her a sideways look and shook his head.
“Anyways, see, he wasn’t a pig.” Denise replied looking away quickly. Win closed the book and stood up, walking around the counter. She walked up behind AJ and put a hand on his side, squeezing it gently.
“I’ll be right back.” She said in his ear before walking out of the room.
“What was that about?” Denise asked raising her eyebrows at him.
“She wants me to take it easy, that’s all.” He replied.
“You might feel better if you talked about it.” She replied.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Have you talked about it with Winifred?”
“A little.” He said coldly.
“Maybe you should talk to her about it some more.”
“I don’t want to talk about it Ma, so lay off.” He said.
“You take your tone easy with me boy, you’re not too big that I still can’t whoop you good.” Denise said threateningly.
“I’m sorry mom.” AJ replied turning around and kissing her on the forehead. Win returned to the kitchen with a box in her hands.
“It’s only fair, so I brought you some of my baby pictures.” Win said shaking the box.
“Oh, wonderful!” Denise said throwing her hands up and clapping.
“Yeah, I’d like to see that too.” AJ replied.
“Elizabeth was a great woman, she always took pictures of us. She said she was acting the mother, so she always wanted pictures of her kids.” Win said opening the box. AJ put the pot of water on the stove and turned on another burner.
“Elizabeth was the woman you grew up with?” Denise asked.
“Yes, she ran the orphanage I grew up in.” Win replied pulling out a few photos.
“Awe, your first day of school!” Denise squealed. AJ walked over and looked through the photos as well.
“Now you were the cute kid. Ha, ha, this one is cute.” He said holding up a picture where she was around seven years old, rolling her eyes, pulling out her cheeks and sticking out her tongue.
“You were such a darling!” Denise went on.
“Not to say that she isn’t one still.” AJ said looking up at her.
“Do you have any baby pictures?” Denise asked.
“Oh a couple, not that many though. Ah, let me see,” Win said digging through the box.
“Oh look at you! AJ, look at these!”
“I don’t have any from when I was just born, wait these are the earliest pictures I have.” Win replied laying the two yellowed newspaper articles on the counter. AJ and Denise’s faces fell.
Across the top of the first read “BABY FOUND IN DUMPSTER BEHIND CHINESE RESTAURANT”. Below that was a picture of a baby wrapped in a dirty blanket, her face shining up at the viewer. The other picture showed the ally and the dumpster. The second newspaper clipping showed a smiling woman holding up a baby in a little white dress and shoes in front of a large house. This paper read, “DUMPSTER BABY FOUND A HOME AT ELIZABETH COLDWELL HOME FOR GIRLS”. AJ read lower. “Belltown’s own dumpster baby, who was recognized by a hospital bracelet as Winifred Bastar, was placed at Miss. Coldwell’s home this Thursday. It was hoped that with the publicity of her finding that there would be a family willing to adopt her. Babies are hard to find in the adoption system, but no one has shown interest in adopting the child, now guessed to be around two months old. Miss Coldwell agreed to take the child in after her latest success story, Milly Efton, was accepted to Penn State on full scholarship, and went off to college leaving an available room. Miss Coldwell hopes to find a home for Winifred within the next five years, but she said, ‘If no one adopts her she can stay here, she will always be welcome.’ Police have gone on to say that they have had no luck in finding the mother or father for the dumpster baby and have at this time no leads. Considering that baby Winifred was left in the middle of March it was lucky she didn’t freeze to death. Police are ready to press charges of an attempted murder once the suspect is found. If anyone has any information about what happened please contact…” AJ looked away from the clipping.
AJ felt the floor fall out from underneath him. He saw Win, so tiny and small and helpless, Elizabeth holding her, hoping that someone would adopt her. Hoping that someone would find it in their heart to love Win as much as she did. AJ looked at Win sitting there, looking through the pictures with his mother Denise, laughing and talking and smiling. She smiled at him with so much life. He smiled back at her, seeing now, that Win was still that small helpless little girl that needed to be loved. Win spoke and he woke out of his thoughts and went back to his pasta.
“This is my favorite one, Elizabeth looked so pretty, that’s the way I always saw her.” Win said pointing to the picture of her and Elizabeth.
“Oh she is lovely, are you two close?” Denise asked.
“We were, she died when I was eighteen. See, here we are at our annual fourth of July picnic. I believe I was, sixteen then. Oh and that’s Karen she was only fifteen, she just died last year, she had the flu and she never really got better. Oh here’s me and Elena, Elena got married right out of high school, she has six kids now. She found a good man. Here’s our little talent show, we had so much fun putting that on.” Win laughed and carried on with Denise.
AJ finished making dinner and helped his mother set the table. They spent a good part of the evening talking and laughing when Win excused herself to go to bed.
When Win was finally out of earshot Denise burst out,
“AJ, oh AJ my boy, she is the girl, the girl AJ, she is wonderful!”
“Yeah, I kinda like her myself.”
“You in love with her?”
“That’s a pretty safe bet right now.”
“Good, that means she’ll be sticking around for a while.”
“She pass your test?”
“My test? The are you going after my baby boy just because he is rich and famous and handsome test?” AJ laughed.
“Yes, that one.”
“I don’t know yet, but I have a good feeling about her. We’ll see when we go shopping tomorrow.”
“Oh ma, I just can’t get over her.” AJ reeled, his head falling into his mother’s lap.
“That’s a good thing.”
“You know what she did, the other night, I was really sick, and she came to me, and I literally threw up all over myself, and everywhere else for that matter. But she stayed beside me and cleaned me up. She put me to bed. When I woke up, she was still there, still holding my head, still touching my hands.”
“Awe, see, she really does like you sweet heart.”
“I know she does.”
“Just remember one thing darling. I know she’s been good to you, I haven’t seen you this happy, or this open in a long time. But she needs you, to do the same for her too.”
“I think I am. Just the other night, after Brianna had her baby, she was upset. She couldn’t be that close to the new baby, it just made her nervous. She’s waiting for me to drop her, like she was dumped when she was a kid. I just hope she knows that I won’t.”
“She knows, but I think she just has a hard time believing that. You’ve got to open up to her more, she needs to hear about you, so that she’ll be more comfortable talking about herself. She’s very nervous, I can see that.”
“Did you read that clipping? It said her name was Winifred Baster, now it’s Caldon, I wonder why she changed her name.”
“Oh that’s obvious honey, Elizabeth thought it sounded too much like bastard, like a bastard child. There’s no way she’d let an orphaned child go through life with a name like Baster.”
“Oh, I see. We’ve been through so much of the same things its funny sometimes. Yet in the end, she’s come out better for it.” AJ said thoughtfully. Denise fiddled with a string on his skullcap.
“Who says you haven’t come out better because of it?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Then talk to Win about it, she wants to hear about it.”
“No she doesn’t, cause then she’d have to talk about it too. We’ve got at least that much in common.”
“AJ, you’ve got to talk to somebody about it, at least if it’s not me, talk to Win, she’ll understand.” AJ sat up and rubbed his head.
“I spent two months doing nothing but talking about it so I wouldn’t have to talk about it now.”
“That’s not the way it works.”
“Well, that’s the way I’m working it. Good night ma, I love you.” AJ kissed his mother on the cheek and got up quickly, retreating to the guest room where Win was sleeping. He undressed and slipped into bed, slithering his arms around Win’s sleeping body and throwing his leg over her hip. She snuggled against him.
“Oh so you finally came to bed,” she mumbled.
“Yes, I did, night beautiful.”
“Night babe.”

Part I Chapter 30

The next morning AJ awoke to the sound of giggling. Win was not in bed and he took her pillow, pressing his face into it, smiling to himself at how lucky he was to have Win. He hopped up and dressed quickly heading out to the kitchen, smelling coffee.
Win and Denise were sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee and going through the photo albums again.
“Aren’t you tired of those things yet?” AJ asked with a yawn.
“Aren’t you tired of that rooster’s crow you’ve got on your head?” Win asked. He reached up and felt his hair, compulsively smoothing it down.
“I brought out the scrap book, of all the things you’ve done, all the articles and things I’ve collected over the years.” Denise chimed in holding up a book full of magazine clippings.
“I brought out the old tapes too honey, tonight we can watch your first shows!”
“Not the elementary school ones, please!” AJ pleaded shaking his head as he approached the coffee pot.
“Oh you bet, and your music videos too.”
“I can’t wait!” Win squealed.
“Oh yes you can. Where did you want to go today mom?” AJ asked sleepily.
“I thought we’d go down to Ocean City, the boardwalk, Win said she wanted to do a little shopping.”
“Yeah, now that I have a little money, I can afford some new clothes, a bigger bag to put them in, and some sneakers, these, are falling apart.” Win replied holding up her foot with her beat up gray Nike’s. Win had a little more than enough money. Before she’d gone to sleep she had counted the money from the comedy battle and the money she received at the hotel for returning the jewelry. She had close to five thousand dollars in cash, and she planned to splurge a little.
“Oh my, I get to go shopping with my mother and my girlfriend.” AJ mused.
“You can just go to the porno shop by yourself until we get back,” Win replied, flipping a page in the book she was looking through.
“Now that’s an idea,” AJ said pouring his coffee and walking towards the table. Denise just sat back with a smile on her face and watched them banter.
“Just make sure the guy uses a condom, okay?”
“Okay honey, just like mom taught me, right mom?” AJ patted his mother’s hand.
“Oh, most certainly darling.” Denise laughed.
“You know, you have the sickest, most perverted sense of humor for any woman I have ever met.” AJ said seriously sitting back and pulling his foot up to rest on his knee.
“And I must say, I like it.” He replied in a growl.
“Eww! Denise, you have a dirty boy for a son! He’s so gross!” Win mimed in a little girl voice. Denise was cracking up by now.
“You two are way too funny!” she managed to say between laughter. They ate breakfast and by ten o’clock they were in the car on the way to Ocean City. With his mother driving AJ sat in the back and Win in the front seat.
AJ sat hunched over clutching Win’s hand in his, keeping his head between the seats so he could talk.
“Here we are.” Denise announced a few minutes later pulling into a hotel parking lot. Everyone got out of the car and they walked to the boardwalk.
The afternoon was spent shopping. Win was easy to please. She didn’t spend hours looking and trying on clothes. AJ entertained himself by showing her tiny revealing outfits and then having Win chase him around the store with a hanger.
“Do you want to go swimming later at the house?” Denise asked Win.
“Oh, I should get a suit then.” Win remarked.
“Ooh, let me pick that out,” AJ said grinning.
“Not again!” Win groaned with a smile. AJ searched through the racks for a few minutes. He popped out with a skimpy two piece suit in white.
“Very funny AJ! Very funny indeed. I’ll just go try these on.” Win grabbed a couple one-piece suits and another two piece suit.
“I’ll be waiting beautiful.” Win was out five minutes later with her chosen suit. It was a two piece, boy shorts and a halter top in a purple and blue print, that covered her completely.
“You’re no fair Win.” AJ pouted as she paid for the suit, a cover up, and a beach towel.
“I don’t make a habit out of prancing around in my underwear in public. That’s what those other suits are.” Win replied as she handed the cashier her money.
“And just when do I get to see you prancing around in your underwear?” AJ asked sneakily.
“Just wouldn’t you like to know.” Denise was fully enjoying watching Win and AJ kid around. She was so glad to see AJ so happy and enjoying himself. She was also glad that Win had stood up for herself and proved that she was with him for more than his money. Several times AJ had tried to pay for her things, but she wouldn’t allow him.
“I don’t remember asking you to pay for my things. I can take care of myself thank you, but it is very sweet of you to offer.” Denise now knew that Win was the one. Win really had not bought that much for herself. She’d bought a skirt, a few pairs of shorts, a new pair of sneakers, several tops, the suit, towel and flip flops. She’d also bought a large duffel bag and a smaller overnight bag to take into hotels. AJ carried her purchases for her down the boardwalk and back to the car. They ate lunch at a small café overlooking the water and then they headed back to the house before five o’clock.
When they returned to the house AJ insisted that Win model her new clothes for him.
“I will not, you’ll see them soon enough.” Win retorted.
“Come on, please?” he begged sniffing up her arm and kissing on her neck.
“Fine, one outfit.” She said shaking her head. She returned to the bedroom and changed into a new pair of jeans and a nice top. She marveled at her new clothes, she hadn’t had anything new for a long time. She took one last look and opened the door and walked out to the living room. She didn’t immediately see AJ, then she heard a long low whistle.
“Now you are one sexy lady!” he said clapping his hands.
“Why thank you sir,” Win replied raising an eyebrow.
“Come on you two, dinner is ready.” Denise called from the kitchen. Win turned to walk to the kitchen and heard AJ growling behind her.
“Now that’s a nice view,” he said in her ear.
“Easy boy, that’s enough.” She said patting his shoulder.

Part I Chapter 31

Denise could not get over how comfortable she felt around Winifred, and how comfortable Win was around her and AJ, she acted as if she had been part of the family forever. Even when AJ’s grandfather visited, and his aunts and uncles, Win was indistinguishable from the other guests. When introducing Win to his grandfather, AJ could not help but glow with pride.
“Grandpa, this is Winifred Caldon, my girlfriend, and Win this is my grandpa Earl.”
“AJ, you stop calling this girl, Win, my oh my, only Beautiful, or gorgeous can be sufficient enough.” Earl exclaimed squeezing Win’s hand. At this Win leaned into Earl’s ear and said,
“Don’t worry, he does.” Earl monopolized Win for the rest of the evening.
Win loved AJ’s family, and they all seemed just as anxious to get to know her better, considering AJ had told them everything about her.
“So AJ tells us you can sing Miss Beautiful.” Earl called out during dinner that night. The table went silent at this.
“AJ likes to go on about that. I can’t really.” Win replied. She did like his family, she really did. She’d gotten to meet all of them, look into their eyes, see their intents for her. No one wanted to harm her, everyone liked her, but she did not want to get up and sing. It was a regular old fear popping up, these were the family members of her boyfriend. That could make anyone nervous.
“Come on Win, there’s a piano in the living room, Grandpa can play.” AJ started and Win kicked him hard under the table.
“Ow! What was that for!” he said picking up his foot and examining his shin.
“For opening your big mouth, I don’t want to sing.” She whispered in his ear.
“You always say that, come on Grandpa, I’m sure you know a song that Win knows.” AJ said pulling her up from the table.
“AJ,” she whined.
“Hush up, you’d have to sing in front of them soon enough. Come on.” Earl had already taken a seat at the piano and was loosening up his fingers. The rest of the family was gathering in the living room awaiting Win’s performance.
“Go ahead,” AJ said leaving her at the piano with Earl. She gave another pleading look but he replied, “Just do it!”
Win spoke with Earl for a minute or two and they finally figured out a song she knew and he knew and he began to play. The song was such a funny one that she forgot how nervous she was.
“You’re a dirty! Dirty man, and you, you got a mind!” she sang out as Earl played. The crowd of family in the living room whistled and cheered as she sang till she was finished and they gave her an applause. She gave a little bow and returned to the kitchen to clear the table.
Earl got up from the piano and went over to AJ, throwing an arm around his neck.
“Now AJ my boy, you have found the sweetest, most modest girl on the face of the planet. Don’t you lose her. I would think about popping the question soon my boy, very soon.” AJ laughed at his grandfather, but Earl shook him sternly.
“I’m not kidding, you’re not gettin' any younger, and you need to hold on to this girl. Do not let her get away. It’s time for you to settle down.” Earl squeezed him gruffly and ruffled the hair on his head before letting AJ go.
“Oh by the way, take off those stupid sunglasses, you look like a fruit.” Earl added on his way back to the kitchen.
AJ shook his head, some people you could just never change. But marry Win? How the hell would he pull that off? She hadn’t even given any indication that she wanted to get married. How could she, they’d been a “couple” for only two months, they were close, but they hadn’t gotten close enough to talk about marriage, not yet anyway. But what about him too?
He walked to the door of the kitchen and watched Win helping with the dishes. He saw her stomach growing, and Denise smiling so wide that her mouth must have hurt. Win was due any day now, and he would be a father. The lights flashed and he saw a little boy running towards him yelling “Daddy! Daddy, sing that one for me again!” Win was carrying a baby girl towards him saying, “Now would you look at your face, you’d think I’d just had twins! AJ? AJ?”
AJ woke up and saw Win standing in front of him, her hand shaking his side.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry bout that.” AJ quickly wiped the glazed look off his face and promptly kissed her on the cheek.
“We’re going out for ice cream, you coming?” she asked rubbing his side.
“Yeah, lets go.” He looked at Win with a new appreciation as they walked out to the car and piled in beside his Aunt Layla and Uncle Reggie.

Part I Chapter 32

AJ was never more confused in his entire life as he lay down to sleep that night. He was alone now, Win wanted to stay up, but his brain had been on overtime since his grandfather spoke to him and he was exhausted. Settle down, did he want to settle down? He’d been on the road since he was sixteen, he’d been a performer all his life, partying, never staying long with one girl in his entire life. Then again that was what had gotten him in trouble with the drugs and alcohol in the first place. He was going to be twenty-seven next month. Maybe his grandfather was right. Maybe it was time for him to stop running around the country chasing a dying fame and a stage that would slowly cool as he got older. Win would keep him warm. But Win may not want what he did. She eventually intended to go to school, she’d said that. In three years she intended to break tour, and go to school. She wanted to teach English, of course she’d want to settle down and just work at her dream. But a lot could happen in three years. Besides, he was pushing too far ahead, he had only known her for two months. He had rushed things and he was still rushing things.

Win was in the living room talking to Denise, and for the first time in the two days she’d been there, discussing her fears with her.
“Denise, I know AJ told you I was a drug addict myself, almost four years ago, but I don’t know if he told you the extent of it.” Win said anxiously, holding a cup of coffee clasped between both hands.
“What, that you were on drugs for three years solid, that you took anything you could get because you were depressed about Elizabeth dying and being out on the streets?” Denise asked.
“Well, I guess he did tell you then.” Win replied looking away.
“Yes he did, what’s troubling you Winifred?”
“I know this may sound stupid, but in my eyes, it is a legitimate worry. I want you to know that when I say I’m clean, I’m clean. I have no intentions of ever, ever going back to drugs. I just want you to know that I would never bring that around your son again.” Win said all this very fast and then sipped at her coffee.
“Win, I trust you. AJ is a grown man. If he decides to go back to the bottle or the drugs, it won’t be because of you. He has a lot of issues, issues that keep him depressed, even when he’s happy. He wont take a bottle unless he wants it.” Denise said taking her hand in hers and squeezing it. Win looked into her eyes. Her intent was clear, she wanted Win to feel safe here, and know that she was trusted.
“The thing is too, I’ve never been through rehab. I spent a five day detox in the basement of a church, after that I never thought about touching the stuff again. I didn’t talk to therapists, and things like that.” Win replied.
“That’s okay. But I’m sure you talked to someone, right?”
“Yes, the choir, the preacher, my friends, I talked to them all. They made me see that I was capable of living. I loved Elizabeth, but killing myself was not going to bring her back.”
“This is what AJ needs to do.” Denise said quietly.
“He will, when he is ready. His case is different from mine, from everyone’s. He will talk in his own time.”
“I just hope he does it before he kills himself.” Denise felt the tears in her eyes and was not able to hold them back. They fell on her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away.
“I’d know Denise, I would know. Even though we’ve only met, one former drug addict to another, we know things, and figure out things. He couldn’t hide that from me.” Win replied squeezing Denise’s hand tightly.
“Win, you’ll take care of him right? You’ll love him, and you’ll never lose faith in him?” Denise asked.
“I will to the best of my ability.”
“I’m so glad you found him.” Denise said flinging her arms around Win.
“I’m glad he found me.”

Part I Chapter 33

The two weeks at Denise’s house passed in a flash. Before Win knew it, the night before their departure had arrived and they were eating their last dinner together. Denise had gone all out and cooked a feast for their farewell dinner.
During the two week interval they’d heard from Brian and Brianna, baby Winifred, now being called Winnie, was doing fine, as was her mother. Brian was on pins and needles having to leave her. The rest of the guys had called to speak to Denise and Win. This was mostly to make arrangements for AJ’s big surprise birthday party for the eighteenth of July, the coming month. Other than that, and a few calls from Daemon to remind them of the return date and changes in the schedule, their vacation was completely uninterrupted.
Since it was their last night together, Denise had pulled out her camera and was taking pictures and video. She loved taking pictures of Win and AJ together. They made quite the couple.
The next morning Denise was in tears as she hugged Win and AJ goodbye.
“Now you be good, and don’t make her mad at you, you take care of her.” Denise said tearfully holding AJ’s face in her hands.
“You remember, you are always welcome here Win, I feel like I have a daughter now. You take care of AJ too.” Denise said clinging to Win.
“Both of you, make sure to call! Take care of one another. I love you both!” it was the last thing they heard as they pulled away in the cab to the airport.
“So what did you think of my mother?” AJ asked when they were finally out of earshot.
“She’s a very special lady. You’re lucky to have her.” Win replied smiling, she’d managed to keep from crying.
“We’re lucky to have her.” AJ corrected squeezing her hand.
“Yeah, we are.” Win nodded.

The trip back to Hollywood was uneventful. Win was both happy and sad about returning to the tour. Being on tour meant she got to see the entire crew, the guys, Daemon, Jen, Gina, Tessa. But it also meant that she had to leave behind Denise who she now felt was a part of her life. She now had some things to look forward to. AJ’s birthday was coming up in eighteen days. She had to find him a birthday present, although she already knew what he wanted, but she didn’t know if she could give him that.
On the eighteenth they were scheduled to be on their way through Washington and Oregon. There had been a concert scheduled for his birthday but it had been changed, and no one bothered to tell him. They had arranged to go out and celebrate his birthday the next night with dinner. But now Kevin and Howie had arranged a blowout surprise party for his birthday. They’d rented out the ballroom at the hotel they were going to stay in and invited all of their friends. They were flying out all his relatives, his mom, his grandpa and all his old school chums as well.
Besides that, the guys had written a birthday song and wanted Win to join them in singing it for AJ at his party. Win had agreed because it was AJ’s birthday and she didn’t want to argue about it. As long as she wasn’t singing by herself, she would be fine. They’d planned to practice a couple afternoons before the party when Dennis had booked AJ a couple interviews and Tessa was going to drag him out to help her find an anniversary gift for Kevin.
Win spent the next two weeks on tour doing her job and secretly practicing with the guys whenever they could catch a minute. Their version of the birthday song was really different and quite good. She wondered why they didn’t write more of their own music. Win helped Howie and Kevin smooth out details for the party and they helped her find the right gift for AJ although they said that AJ didn’t expect anything from anyone.
“We all made a rule a long time ago that we don’t exchange gifts. It’s a whole thing, we really shouldn’t get into it.” Kevin said as they perused the local mall.
“Yeah, but we’re talking about you guys. I’m his, supposed, girlfriend now, I have to find something. Not too sappy, and not too stupid either. I’m not into that whole, jewelry thing.” Win said wrinkling her nose at the jewelry cases.
“No hats, no sunglasses, we don’t want to encourage that.” Howie said as they passed a rack of glasses.
“Good point.” Kevin replied.
“Hum, this is hard. What the hell do you buy for a guy?” Win asked confused.
“Besides a stripper?” Howie asked.
“Ha ha, Howie, very friggen funny. Kevin, what does your wife give you for your birthday?” Win asked turning to him.
“Well,” Kevin said putting his hands in his pockets and turning sheepish.
“Don’t explain, I get it.” Win said shaking her head and turning away again.
“Win, think about it, I mean, you guys, this is what, two months right? And you two haven’t you know, and he really isn’t interested in much else.” Howie tried.
“Did you just incense that I should just sleep with him, and that be his birthday present?” Win asked whipping around, her eyes on fire.
“Well, guys only think of three things, food, sleep and well, sex.” Kevin replied.
“You two are the limit!” Win shouted.
“You’re not, you’re not a virgin, right?” Howie asked lowering his voice.
“HOWIE!” Win shouted.
“Well, what are you afraid of?” Howie replied. Kevin put a hand over his face and shook his head.
“How come you could talk to a woman about this and not to a man?” Howie asked again.
“Howie, just to let you know, I have not discussed my sexual history with any other woman, besides myself. And second, I guess you are right. I could talk to you guys, but not in the middle of the mall.” Win replied.
“All right, then, I’m just gonna get going.” Kevin said looking for the exit.
“Oh no you don’t, you have to stay, cause if word gets out that I was talking about sex with Howie, by myself, AJ will have a shit fit. Besides, you roped yourself into this too, with what your wife gives you for your birthday.” Win said grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him out of the mall.
Back at the hotel Win, Kevin and Howie went to his room and sat down to talk.
“First rule, you have to swear, and I mean really swear, that you will not talk about this to AJ, or anyone else for that matter.” Both nodded, but Kevin would not look at Win.
“Okay thing is, first, I didn’t want to rush things, now that we’ve been together this long, considering it’s really not been that long, we’ve seen each other everyday and still haven’t killed each other. Second, no, I’m not a virgin, not for a while now. And third, well, this sounds kind of high school, but, I don’t know his status.” Win said, sitting back, waiting for their reactions. Kevin was sitting low in his chair with his legs crossed, bouncing his heel up and down, keeping his eyes averted.
“His status?” Howie asked.
“HIV, STD’s. I only had two other boyfriends, but before we did anything I got tested, and I made them get tested too. I don’t fool around with that.” Howie’s eyes went wide at this. But Kevin turned his face to hers and said with a furrowed brow,
“That’s what you’re worried about? Asking him to take a test?”
“Yeah, I was going with this one guy for a while and when I asked him he kinda flipped, like I was accusing him.”
“It does kinda though, doesn’t it?” Howie asked turning to Kevin.
“No, it doesn’t. Tessa asked me the same thing. It doesn’t matter if you’ve grown up together or not. You don’t know everyone’s complete history. AJ did a lot of stuff he doesn’t remember, so who the hell knows what could have happened.”
“You have a point there.” Howie said sitting up.
“It’s just hard to bring up is all.” Win said wrinkling her nose.
“But you do want to, you know? You’re not just holding out for some weird female reason, are you?” Howie asked.
“Howie!” Kevin said slapping his arm.
“Well, this is our best friend here, we gotta do something for the poor guy, he don’t even get kissed.” Howie said.
“Yeah Howie, it’s some female problem, I’ve had my period for the last two whole months.” Win replied sarcastically, then a realization hit her.
“So that’s what you guys mean by not getting any presents for each other, you just make sure the guy gets laid!” Win snapped. Kevin jumped up saying,
“Okay, this was too much! Wife is within legal rights to kill me on the spot, right now.” Win’s eyes opened in realization.
“You’re kidding me, you’re absolutely fucking kidding me! That’s what you do, isn’t it? You make sure the guy gets laid. Oh my god!” Howie turned away and Kevin was hovering around by the door.
“So what the hell do you do, get the guy a hooker or slip the wife a mickey, huh?” Win said incredulous. Again, they didn’t answer.
“Oh you all are disgusting!” she said jumping up.
“Really friggen disgusting!”
“Howie! Do something!” Kevin said.
“What?” He snapped back. But Win was already out the door and flying down the hall. When she finally got around the corner she stopped and doubled over with laughter. That had been the most fun she’d had in a long time. She’d known that Howie would bring it up, she and Tessa had a good long talk about the boys’ long standing traditions. Now all she had to do was wait and see what Howie and Kevin would do.
It didn’t take long to see the effects her and Tessa’s little joke. Later that evening at the venue where they guys had decided to take a late rehearsal for a few new songs they were working on, Win was working backstage when she heard,
“You didn’t!” it was AJ.
“Aw man, you did not tell her about that!” AJ was positively bellowing by now.
“No they didn’t, she talked to me. And I must agree, if you want to nudge your relationship with Win into that realm, you need to show her you are not afraid, and willing to take on some responsibility. And I think getting tested is the way to show that.” Tessa explained.
“Tested?” Nick asked with wide eyes.
“Yes, tested,” Tessa snapped, “it is not too much to ask, she’s only know you two months, she’s well within reason, and if you were smart, you’d want her to get tested too.”
“What the hell have you people been doing when I’m not around!” AJ exclaimed.
“We talk to Win.” Howie replied. AJ looked at Nick and Brian, both put their hands up.
“Don’t look at me, no one tells me anything any more.” Nick said. AJ turned to Brian and said,
“Okay Frack, what have you and Frick over here been doing then?”
“Nothing, I’ve been on the phone too much.”
“I blame you two! You and that friggen tradition!”
“What’s the matter AJ? At least it’s out in the open now.” Tessa said.
“Because, you should not have been talking to Win about that in the first place, and second Tessa, you should not have told these two bozos! How pissed was she when you told her?” he asked.
“She was pretty mad. But I wouldn’t talk to her about it.”
“So, are you going to get tested or what?” Tessa asked.
“Oh my god, I’m not discussing this with you!” AJ yelled before storming out.
“That went well.” Kevin said shaking his head.
“What have you two been up to?” Brian asked.
“Well, isn’t it obvious, met the new Frick, and the new Frack, ladies and gentlemen, they’re here all week.” Nick said pointing in turn to each Kevin and Howie, then applauding.

Part I Chapter 34

AJ thought about what Tessa had said for three days before deciding to go through with it. At first he’d been insulted. But then he thought back about it. He had been high an awful lot, and drunk a lot too, what if he had been with a woman who was infected? What if he’d been HIV positive in the first place, that could have happened too. He it owed to himself, and to Win if they ever were going to push their relationship forward. After all, it wasn’t that big of a request.
His test results were mailed to him three days later, he was clean. Now the real struggle was going to be bringing this up to Win without being obvious. The best way would be to come right out with it. Besides, everyone on the crew would probably know by now, since Kevin, Tessa and Howie had blurted it out in front of everyone. That settled it, he’d talk to Win tonight.
AJ was so nervous his throat kept drying up. Just the thought of talking to Win about what he was thinking about was enough to make anyone try celibacy. But he didn’t want to try celibacy, and he did want to be intimate with Win, and maybe this was the way to suggest it.
Since they came back Win had been staying in her room with Jen and AJ had been sleeping alone. He did not like sleeping alone, not when he’d been sleeping in the same bed with Win for two weeks. Even though it was hard to not to make a move on Win when they weren’t even kissing, he preferred just sleeping with her. Now he just tossed and turned until he finally fell into a shallow sleep, which was filled with an array of triple “X” dreams staring Win. He’d been taking a lot of cold showers lately.
He definitely had to talk to her tonight.

After the show, AJ took Win back to the hotel and walked her up to her room. Jen left quickly, going to hang out with Taylor. Win invited AJ inside for a moment.
“The show was fantastic tonight.” Win said emptying her pockets.
“Uh, Win, can I talk to you for a minute.” AJ said rubbing the back of his neck and sitting on the edge of her bed. Win looked over at him confused.
“You okay sweetie?” she asked sitting down next to him.
“Um, look, I’m not going to be all stupid about this. You know how everyone has been talking, about us not, you know. So I, well, I went and got tested.” AJ stammered pulling the results of his tests out of his pocket and handing it to her. She unfolded the paper and looked it over.
“Good, now I don’t feel like such an idiot.” Win said getting up and pulling a paper out of her drawer. She sat back down and handed it to him.
“So we’re both free and clean.” He said.
“Yeah, and that took a lot for you to do, I appreciate it.” Win said putting her head on his shoulder.
“Now Win, I don’t want to push you, I’m not saying that we have to do anything, right now. I just wanted to say that, I care about you, and I wanted to be mature about it. And now, when we are ready, we can really be ready, and we’ll be responsible about it.”
“Well, thank you AJ. Yeah, I couldn’t deal with any kids right now. I couldn’t. That’s why I’m on birth control, always have been, although that was kind of a concern for Elizabeth.” Win said shaking her head.
“Yeah, that would be kinda hard right now, wouldn’t it?” AJ said halfheartedly.
“Well, I’m not saying I don’t ever want kids, but I don’t want my own. I want to adopt. I want to give homes to kids that need them. You just make sure you have condoms, I’m not taking any chances.” AJ felt his stomach do a backwards roll, she didn’t want kids, she didn’t want his kids. But did he even want kids?
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. A real good idea.”

AJ left Win’s room that night considerably confused as he had the night his grandfather suggested marrying Win. Win did not want to have her own children, she wanted to give homes to children that had been abandoned the way she had. Of course he could see the logic in that, but still, the image he had seen at his mother’s house, still brought a smile to his face. Maybe he was getting too sentimental. He didn’t have to have kids of his own. His mother would be happy being able to have kids to call her grandchildren, even if they weren’t biologically his own. Kevin and Tessa weren’t thinking about having kids any time soon, maybe they couldn’t have kids? Who knew, and especially now, with his own clock ticking, his twenty-seventh birthday being tomorrow, AJ was constantly wondering whether he could be a good father or not. His own had been a pale disappointment.
Besides he didn’t know how to be a father, maybe it was better this way. And too, wasn’t he jumping the gun, yet again? He and Win had been together for two months only. They had not even discussed the idea of marriage, even abstractly, and here was thinking about kids.
“What a stupid idea, a real stupid idea.” He muttered to himself, flicking off the light and snuggling into his pillow, trying to fall asleep.

Part I Chapter 35

“Happy Birthday,” Win said sitting on the edge of AJ’s bed. She placed a hand on his side as she spoke and he sat up.
“Mm, morning baby.” He said leaning forward and sleepily kissing her on the cheek. His thoughts from yesterday rushed back. Oh God, today he was twenty-seven, one year closer to thirty.
“I did something special for you, I went down to the kitchen, and I made breakfast, just for you and me, out on the terrace.”
“Thank you baby, but I think I’ll stay right here.” AJ said laying back down and pulling the blanket over his head.
“Oh now what is this?” Win asked.
“If you didn’t notice I’m turning twenty-seven today.” He said muffled through the blanket.
“Oh so you’re going to hide under there for today.” Win replied.
“Yes I am.”
“Okay, so I guess I better turn in my card, cause you’ll only want to date eighteen year-old blonds, stay out and party all night and go buy a new sports car right? Your having a one-third of my life has passed crisis?” AJ popped up again.
“What?”
“I knew that would get you up, come on.” She pulled him out of the bed and as he walked out behind her he threw his arms around her waist.
“I would never dump you for and eighteen year old blond.” He said.
“I’m glad to hear that, come on, eat your breakfast before it gets cold.” Win said dragging him over to his seat. AJ sat down but not before he pulled Win into his lap.
“Now this is a happy birthday.” He said as he pulled her closer to him.
“Now just what do you think you’re doing?”
“Just saying thank you is all.” He replied nosing into her shoulder.
“Do you want your present now or later?” she asked.
“Hum, that’s a hard decision. But I think I’ll have to go with now.” AJ said with a smile.
“Okay, then close your eyes.” AJ did so, waiting with a smile on his face. Win made like she was turning around to get something off the table and grabbed a card. She turned around and said,
“You can open your eyes now.” She said and handed him the envelope. He gave her a look and opened the card, reading it out loud.
“This card entitles Alexander James McLean to one” but he couldn’t finish because Win’s lips were pressed against his. The card lay in AJ’s lap as Win’s arms snaked around his neck and moved in closer. When they finally managed to part AJ’s eyes were blinking and he had to shake his head to regain consciousness.
“Like your present?” she asked.
“Um, yeah, I did.”
“You want another one?”
“Uh huh.” The breakfast lay forgotten and was stone cold by the time AJ was hungry.

AJ headed down to lunch with Win with the biggest smile on his face that anyone had ever seen. Everyone was making remarks as to how far they had gone but AJ was quick to point out,
“No, we only kissed, that’s all.” But AJ seemed as though he’d flown to the moon and back. He did not stop smiling.

That night Dennis had scheduled AJ for an interview until the usual very last minute before the concert. He rushed AJ back to the hotel to change and told him they’d cut through the ballroom to catch a car waiting for them in the back of the hotel. AJ was rushing as if they really had a concert. So when they burst through the ballroom doors he jumped he was so surprised.
Win and the guys walked forward singing the beginnings the traditional birthday song and then as the song began to end, the guys stepped back, to wide-eyed stares from Win and let her finish their new song.
When the song ended, the entire room applauded and AJ threw his arms around Win and kissed her in front of everyone. Win was blushing by the time AJ let her go and then they rolled out the cake.
The evening was perfect. Win met more of AJ’s family and friends and they spent the rest of the evening dancing. AJ was surprised to see his mother and Win welcomed her with a big hug.
“So I see you two have finally kissed. Oh, that is so wonderful!” Denise exclaimed hugging them both at the same time.
“Oh and my little boy is twenty-seven! Oh my goodness, twenty-seven years old! And to think I used to go with you everywhere, remember when you were just sixteen,” Denise sad dissolving into tears.
“Ma, it’s okay.” AJ said putting his arms around her.
The night was a success. AJ enjoyed himself, as much as everyone else did. He and Win, were as usual, the last to leave the dance floor. She insisted on walking him to his room tonight, since it was his birthday.
“Come out on the terrace, it’s beautiful at night,” Win said once he unlocked the door.
“All right.” He said, throwing his keys on the table by the door. He followed her out on the terrace and squeezed her tight.
“Today was perfect. The day could not have been better.” He said snuggling his face into her shoulder.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. So how’s it feel to be twenty-seven?” she asked.
“Ancient to tell you the truth. Now I can give advice and actually know what I’m talking about. But good too. Like, now, I can tell what kind of girl I really want. I can start thinking about things, like settling down, what I want to do with the rest of my life. I can slow down, and enjoy things. The first twenty-seven years were just getting here.” He replied, all the while holding tighter to Win.
“You make a good point. God, I always thought by the time I was this age I’d be married, with a couple of kids. But my life is just starting. I got a long way to go before I can slow down and enjoy things.” Win replied.
“You do what makes you happy.”
“I know, and I will. I just don’t want to miss out on all the good things, like marriage, family, I know they can be good things. Not all people walk out on their kids.” Win said patting his hands, now firmly planted on her stomach.
“Mm,” AJ nodded.
“So, how much did you like your birthday present?” Win asked turning around.
“Very, very much.” AJ said leaning down and placing a small kiss on her lips. Win cradled his head in her hands and drew his face towards hers again and deepened the kiss. AJ felt his body drain of strength as he stood there clinging to Win. His head was reeling and he stepped backward trying to steady himself. But then he noticed it was Win pushing him, back towards the room. Every time they stopped moving for a moment and he thought he’d finally regain his balance she’d push a little more.
“Win, Win, hold on a second.” He finally got a chance to breathe.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“Are you sure?” he asked. She nodded.
“Can I make love to you?” he asked.
“I think you’d better.” She replied closing the terrace doors and pulling the curtains closed. She returned to him in a wave of wonderful smells, lilies, apples and some kind of candy.
AJ took his time. He wanted to savor every thing about Win, and he loved saying her name as he traveled the length of her clothed body with his hands.
Taking her hands and pulling her up to meet his gaze he said,
“I love you Winifred.”
“And I love you back.” They fell into their night, the stars and the inky blackness of a moonless sky enfolding them.

Part II Chapter 36

AJ woke up, his arms entwined around Win like a giant winding vine. He breathed in her perfume, her wonderful sweet smell that had just a kick to it. He thought back to the night. Just the thought of it gave him shivers. Never in his life, had he been with a woman like Win. Never had he ever felt so complete, so satisfied, both physically and spiritually.
He listened to her breathing, slow and easy. She took a deep breath and moved slightly, closer to AJ if that was possible. Slowly and carefully AJ removed his leg from over her hip and sat up against the headboard. Sensing his movement, Win, still sleeping turned over and curled into his lap. He smiled as he closed his eyes, leaning back and thinking to himself, no matter if they got married, no matter if they had kids, he was content just to have this moment with her.
He watched her sleeping until what seemed only a minute later, much more like an hour, she opened her eyes and slowly sat up. She sighed deeply, ran a hand through her hair and looked over at AJ.
“What’s your name again?” she said with a smile.
“That good huh?” he asked.
“I think have amnesia,” she laughed touching her chest.
“No really, I wasn’t bad, was I?” She leaned over and kissed him. She held her face and inch away and gazing into his eyes said,
“You were incredible.”
“Hum,” AJ growled with a grin on his face.
“That good huh?”
“Yeah, that good.” She replied laying down across his lap again. He placed his hands on her shoulders and arm and kept them there.
“Want me to help you bring your stuff up here?” he asked.
“What for?” she asked.
“Well, now you can stay with me.” AJ replied.
“I can stay with you now.” Win replied.
“You know what I mean, every night now.”
“Yeah, but who said I would need that much clothing?” Win snickered.
“Ooh, I got a nasty girl,” he said in his macho voice. Win got up again and this time she climbed out of bed and gathered up her clothes. She slipped them on as she found them.
“Now what happened to not needing clothes?” he asked with a pout.
“Yes, that’s for later, but we have things to do.”
“Oh come on,” he said climbing out of bed and grabbing his boxers and slipping into them.
“AJ, come on, I got to get to work.” Win said as AJ came over to her.
“Forget work, come back to bed.” He said pulling her by the hand. He sat down and Win stood before him.
“AJ, I’m going to be fired.” Win said looking at the clock.
“So, I’ll take care of you.” He said pulling her around and into his lap again.
“No, you won’t. I’ve got things to do, I’ve got to,” but what else Win had to do, AJ never found out and Win forgot. Before she knew it, Win was on her back, AJ kneeling over her, kissing her until she felt her skin ready to melt off her bones. She heard her phone go off.
“Aw man, I have got to throw that thing out.” AJ said sitting up. Win pulled her shirt back down and dove over to the nightstand to grab her phone.
“Yeah, Red, I know, I’m coming. Okay, okay, yeah, I’ll get it. Yes, I’ll be right there. Bye.” Win looked sympathetically at AJ and said,
“Sorry, duty calls.”
“Promise, you’ll be back later?” he asked.
“I promise, we can do what ever you want okay?” she replied struggling with her shoes.
“All right.” Win ran over to him, kissed him quickly and ran out the door calling,
“Love you baby!”
“Love you too.” AJ said to the empty room. He fell back onto the bed, his hands covering his eyes when he smiled to himself again.
“Damn!” he yelled to himself with a smile, “Definitely worth waiting for.” He got up and showered singing “I’ve got you under my skin” and doing the dance moves across the room as he got dressed. He didn’t even stop when he got a knock on the door.
Still singing at the top of his lungs he opened the door to Howie, Nick, Brian and Kevin.
“Ah, so this is what we heard down the hall.” Nick said as they all entered the room.
“I take it you and Win, had a good night?” Howie asked. They all took seats around the room. AJ sat on the edge of the still unmade bed.
“Guys, guys, guys, guys, you have no idea!” AJ said.
“That good?” Kevin asked.
“You go all your life, dating here and there. And then, you meet the one person, that just knocks your world sideways.” He explained.
“Uh oh, some one’s in love.” Brian chimed.
“You don’t know how much!” AJ said with the largest smile he could muster.
“And is she in love too, we’re supposing?” Nick asked.
“Yes, she is. Oh my god, it was just fucking amazing. Man, the sex has never been that good.” AJ said shaking his head.
“Your kidding right?” Howie asked.
“No lie man, she was hot. And she said that I, was incredible.” AJ replied.
“Oh, so that’s why she was smiling on her way back to her room.” Brian said.
“Distant, not quite there stare, smiling, rosy cheeks. And you with your Frank Sinatra impression.” Kevin said laughing.
“Hey, when was the last time your wife had you singing after sex?” AJ asked Kevin.
“I don’t sing after good sex.” Kevin retorted.
“No, he just tap dances.” Brian laughed.
“Oh look who’s talking!” Kevin said.
“Hey, I got my wife pregnant, that’s more than I can say for you!” Brian replied.
“Yeah, but you have to admit, you get that stupid grin on your face and go all macho man on everyone.” Howie said with a laugh.
“Or Nick, when he gets it good, he can’t walk the next day.” Brian said gesturing towards Nick.
“What can I say, I can work it with the ladies.” Nick said holding up his hands and grinning.
“He only walks like that because he slammed his dick in the car door!” AJ exclaimed.
“That only happened once, and you know it!” Nick shot back.
“Yeah, right, it seems to me, if you’re the one who can’t walk, it’s your girl who’s giving you the work out!” AJ fired back. A chorus of “Ooh” went around the room.
“Big talker for a guy hasn’t been laid in over a year since last night.” Nick spat. Another chorus of “Ooh” went around between the guys.
“Least I’m getting some, you still got nothing, don’t ya?” AJ taunted.
“I got some on our vacation, thank you very much. And she was quite pleased.” Nick retorted. There was a knock at the door and AJ answered it. It was Win.
“Hey baby, what are you doing back already?” he asked as she walked into the room and waved to the silent guys.
“I forgot my keys,” she said grabbing them off the side table, “Did I interrupt something?” she asked looking around at the guys who were trying to avoid her eyes.
“We were just talking is all. When you getting done today?” AJ asked, but Win was still eyeing the suspicious looks on the guys’ faces.
“Um, around three or four, Red wants to make a few improvements to the set. Oh I get it now.” Win replied, putting her hands on her hips.
“The big old sex brag. I see, I see.”
“This is why it’s never a good idea to be friends with your friend’s girlfriends, cause then you can’t look them in the eye anymore.” Kevin said, deliberately staring out the window to avoid Win’s eyes.
“Oh please. Like your wife doesn’t tell Brianna as well as all her other girlfriends what you do in bed. Guys, get over it, women talk about sex as much as you do.” Win said loud enough that Nick and Brian turned to look at her.
“So what have you been telling them about me, all good I hope?” Win asked AJ.
“We’d like to think so.” Howie replied. Kevin shot Howie a look. Win caught this and walked over behind his chair, put a hand on his shoulder and said,
“By the way, Tessa let it slip that she’s kinda sick of the missionary position, she’d like to be on top for a change, and I must agree with her, the Sugar Daddy boxers are cute.” She patted his shoulder a couple times and stood up. Howie and Nick were trying hard not to laugh.
“Oh you think this is funny. Just wait until your girlfriends visit.” They stopped laughing. She turned to Brian next.
“Ah, you’re being smart, keeping your mouth shut, I’ll save you for later. Oh, and by the way AJ, I love Frank Sinatra.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said as she gave the boys a quick wave,
“Bye boys!”
As soon as the door closed, all but Kevin and Brian burst into laughter.
“Damn, she is good!” Howie howled.
“What did I tell you?” AJ said between laughs.
“Now this, is war.” Kevin said through clenched teeth.

Part II Chapter 37

Win had to go out to get coffees for the managers, specifically iced lattes, before she went to the venue. She was back to being a gopher. Her life kind of felt like day and night. When she had to work, for Red, she was treated like a piece of garbage, a slave at his command. While she was with AJ she felt like a queen, AJ only wanted to make her happy. Now she was starting to be angry with her job, and she resented it, not only that, but she resented herself now. Never had she allowed work to get her down like this. None the less she had to press on.
She got the coffees and went to the venue handing them out to the appropriate people as she found them. By this time the guys had shown up to go over a few things with Dennis. Their record label man, supposedly, was coming to the next concert to see how things were going, and talk to them about the next single. Win waved when she saw them gathered around the piano, which was returned in a friendly fashion.
Win waited to give Red his coffee because he was in the middle of a conversation and when she finally handed him his coffee he spat,
“About damn time. What the hell, meet some of your kind out in the street? Had to stop and exchange drug recipes.”
“Back off Red.” Win said with clenched teeth. This was the first time she’d ever said anything back to him.
“Oh really, what are you going to do to me? Get the hell to work you useless bum, before I fire you!” Red sniggered before starting to walk away.
“That’s it!” Win yelled at Red’s retreating back.
“Excuse me? Were you speaking to me?” Red asked with a pretend astonished face.
“I have had just enough of you and your nasty comments. Treating me like I am some piece of crap you stepped in. I am NOT your slave, and I do not have to be treated like this, you disgusting, rotten, nasty, friggen, controlling, over ambitious, bastard! And I am not going to take it anymore! So you can just take your five-ninety five, moca-choca, whatever the hell, specialty iced latte and go fuck yourself with it!” And with that, Win snatched the coffee out his hand and dumped it down the front of Red’s pants.
“I quit!” she roared then threw the empty cup at his face and stormed out quickly to a tumultuous applause.
“What have I done?” Win moaned to herself as she trudged back to her room. Now she was unemployed, and unemployed from a job that kept her near her boyfriend. What was she going to do now?
As if it were answering her question their was a knock on her door. It was Daemon and AJ. Win immediately apologized.
“Daemon, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
“Actually, I’d say it was about time. His last assistant lasted only two weeks. How you managed three months, I’ll never know.” Daemon replied.
“Are you okay Win?” AJ asked anxiously hugging her tightly to him.
“Don’t you worry about a thing, you can stay with me, I’ll take care of you.” He said automatically.
“Actually, AJ, I’m going to take care of her.” Daemon replied. AJ let go of Win and looked at him.
“What?” Win asked.
“Well, we looked over your transcripts, and saw that you went to a business vocational school while you were still in high school. You were the top in your class. That’s equivalent to an associates degree in business.” Daemon replied.
“So what are you saying?” Win asked, still confused.
“I’ve been looking for a way to hire you away from Red for a long time. I need an executive assistant to help with the tour.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Win asked.
“No, you can work with computers, deal with people, arrange schedules, make appointments. You are by far the most responsible person on this tour. I even spoke to some of your old professors at the vocational school, they said you were one of the best students they’d ever taught.”
“So, what are you saying then?”
“A new job, new boss, benefits, and a dramatic pay raise. What do you say, do you want the job?” Daemon asked holding out his hand. Win thought a moment.
“You got yourself a deal.” Win replied putting her hand in Daemon’s and shaking it heartily.
“All right,” AJ said nodding his head.
“I’ll let you two, alone,” Daemon said nodding and closing the door.
“Oh, and thank you!” Win called before the door closed.
“Oh my god!” Win exclaimed as she threw her arms around AJ and hugged him.
“Congratulations baby.” AJ said squeezing her tight.
“Thank god,” she said, “the thing I was worried about most, was that I would have to leave you. Oh god that scared me.” Win said still holding him tight.
“I wouldn’t have let that happen,” AJ replied, “Not in a million years.”

Part II Chapter 38

When news got around of Win’s promotion, everyone was proud of her. They all said it was about time for someone to knock Red down a peg, and that no one else deserved a promotion more than she did. Daemon spent the afternoon with Win going over her new contract and her new responsibilities. She now had to make sure that they had the right amount of rooms at every hotel, that if there were any delays, the right person would know. She had to take all of Daemon’s calls and unless he was needed, she had to answer them. She also had to inform the guys as to where they were going and what they were doing. She was to have daily conferences with Daemon and Dennis, and was expected to speak to the guys on a daily basis. Win was also responsible for changing the schedule and letting everyone know about those changes. She was given a laptop computer, a portable printer, a schedule book and a copy of her contract that stated, from now on, her title would be Executive Assistant to Tour Manager.
That night, Daemon, Dennis, Steve and AJ took Win out to dinner to celebrate her new job. After dinner, she went with AJ back to her room to collect her stuff. Jen watched sadly as Win packed her bag.
“Now AJ, this just isn’t fair, I finally get a nice roommate and you drag her away.” Jen moaned.
“Well, you could always stay with Taylor,” Win suggested.
“Yeah, right.” Jen said rolling her eyes.
“I’ll visit you.” Win replied.
“Yeah, cause now you get to be on the big fancy bus with all those supposed celebrities. You’ll soon be as snotty as they are.” Jen laughed.
“Yes, I know, I’ll be so sophisticated with all these high class people,” Win said in a mock Beverly Hills type of voice.
“Meanwhile I’m on a bus with all guys except for Tessa. So they’ll all be burping and scratching themselves all the time. No matter how rich their supposed to be, they still do all the same things. It’s like instinct.” Win replied.
“Ooh, I forgot about that. You will have to come visit me. At least there’s plenty of women on the crew, and in the band. Good luck with that.” Jen said patting Win on the back.
“Hey, we’re not all like that.” AJ pouted.
“Oh that’s right, you burp AND scratch yourself, all at the same time.” Win said as if it were a revelation.
“Well, as long as you don’t want to watch the football games, you won’t have to be bothered with it.” AJ replied shouldering one of her bags.
“I like football.” Win retorted, insulted.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yeah, a bunch of big muscled guys in spandex pants, what girl wouldn’t be?” Jen burst out laughing.
“Very cute.” AJ replied with smirk and a raised eyebrow.
“Well Jen, don’t worry, I’ll be hanging around enough, I’ll see you later.” Win said going to Jen and giving her a big hug.
“Congratulations on the job, you deserve it.”
“I hope so.” AJ led Win out the door and back to his rooming carrying her things while she carried Jack.
“I still can’t believe you did that to Red today!” AJ said once they were back in his room.
“Well, I’m glad I did.”
“Yeah, maybe now you should go to business school instead of English.” AJ replied.
“Um, no, I don’t think so, I still want to be an English professor.” Win replied.
“Or, you could always be that singer. Our label is coming in three days, why don’t you sing for him, I know you would get a deal.”
“Because, I don’t want a deal. I don’t want to be a singer. You get torn up by the media.” Win replied.
“Yeah, that does come with the territory, but you’ve got to learn to ignore it.”
“I can’t ignore it. I’ve been in the paper already, that was enough for me.”
“You mean, when you were found.”
“Yes.” Win replied distantly.
“You could still be great though.” AJ said again.
“AJ, I like to sing, I really do. But I’ve looked into some people’s eyes, and they what they want from me is not sincere. I do not want to get into a world of phony people with intentions that are not honest and clear.”
“Win, not all people in the music business are like that. And you have to expect some of that, it comes with the territory, like I said.”
“AJ, for the final time, that is land that I have no intention of ever visiting. Singing for you, your friends and family, the crew, that is all fine and dandy. But I will not be a singer. Do not bring it up again.” Win said coldly. She went to the terrace and sat down at the table, staring out into the dark sky. AJ reappeared in front of her seconds later.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t think that it bothered you that much.” He said squatting in front of her.
“Well it does, I’m sick of hearing about what everyone thinks I should do.”
“Listen, you don’t have to do anything except what you want to do. You can be anything you want.” He said consolingly.
“Thank you. I’m glad you at least think I’m capable of other things besides just singing.”
“What would be the matter if you could only sing?” he asked.
“As much as everyone says that I can sing, I can only see what I don’t have. I can’t write my own music, I can’t really play any instruments. I always wanted to be the entertainer, not a puppet with other people’s songs and music. Unless I can do it myself, I don’t want a part of it.”
“I can teach you how to write songs, and Kevin could help you with the piano. Just for hobby sake, nothing else.” AJ quickly added.
“I’ll think about it.” She said standing up. AJ rose with her.
“Come on, it’s late, lets get some sleep.” He said putting an arm around her waist. But she was still a little upset, he could tell.
In bed she snuggled up as close as she possibly could to AJ.
“Win, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked brushing the hair away from her face.
“Of course I am, now lets go to sleep.”
“All right, good night beautiful.”
“Night baby.” But there was something that was still gnawing at AJ.

Part II Chapter 39

When Win woke up AJ was not there. However he had left a red rose on her pillow and she smiled at the gesture. Happily she thought about what she now had. An incredible new job, independence, and an incredible lover. AJ was the best thing to happen to her in a long time. He was, he was just indescribably wonderful! The way he made her laugh, the way he smiled, the way he kissed, oh god the way he kissed her. Not to mention the way he made love to her. Never had she felt so complete before. Never had a man ever made her feel loved while he was making love to her. She loved everything about him. Even that annoying habit he had of wearing hats and sunglasses, or painting his nails black, his odd tattoos, she loved it all. Just the way he had of reassuring her, of holding her hand and letting her know that she was safe and loved. How he had invited her into his life, introducing her to his family and most of all, wanting her so much that she couldn’t possibly say no.
She could not believe how lucky she was. A few months ago she had nothing, literally nothing. She was not one to miscount her blessings. Now that she thought back to it, it was kind of silly to be annoyed at people for thinking she could be a singer. She was lucky to even have people who believed in her that much. Maybe she shouldn’t be that hard on them. Next time someone suggested it, she would do, whatever it was, they were only thinking about her. Maybe she would sing for the guys’ label when they came. If they did like her enough, she didn’t have to sign anything.
Feeling much better about her actions and decisions, she got out of bed and went to take a shower. Today was her first day as the Executive Assistant to the Tour Director and Manager.
As soon as she was out of her shower he phone was ringing. Realizing it was already nine in the morning, business would be starting. Still wrapped in a towel she grabbed her phone and her laptop and sat at the terrace table. She flipped open the phone and answered her first ever business call.
It was noon before Win’s phone stopped ringing. AJ was coming into the room carrying some lunch for him and Win and was walking out to the terrace as Win was just finishing her call. She hung up and he said,
“Busy morning?”
“Yeah, but a good busy. I got out of the shower and didn’t have five minutes to get changed.” Win said getting up and walking back into the room.
“Well, that could work to your advantage.” AJ said with a lilt in his voice.
“Very cute, but later.” Win said grabbing her clothes and running into the bathroom as AJ playfully chased her.
“You’re gonna have to come out sometime.” He said knocking on the door. She emerged a second later, fully dressed.
“Too bad.” He said shaking his head. She kissed him lightly and then proceeded back to the terrace.
“So, what’d you get for lunch?” she asked.
“Sandwiches. I got Philly cheese stake, that okay?”
“I love Philly cheese stake. I’m starving, I didn’t have a chance to eat breakfast either.” Win said sitting down, moving her phone and laptop to the side. AJ sat down beside her and handed her a sandwich and a can of soda.
“You know something, we don’t even know each other’s favorite things,” AJ said thoughtfully. Win finished chewing a bite of her sandwich and swallowed before saying,
“Lets see, your favorite food, McDonald’s, which is, disgusting, your favorite color, black, and your favorite thing to do, other than perform, is well, to perform, in the bedroom.” AJ stared at her with surprised stare.
“Did I get it right?” she asked.
“Pretty good. All right, what are yours?” he asked.
“Hum, favorite food, eggplant, favorite color, eh, I’d have to say purple, and favorite thing to do, read.”
“That’s all you like to do?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, I also like to sing.” Win admitted with her mouth full.
“Well thanks a lot,” AJ said laughing.
“All right, I also like to do my incredibly hot boyfriend, okay?” she asked.
“That’s better.” AJ replied biting into his sandwich.
“Which reminds me, I should give him a call while I’m at it.” Win said putting down her sandwich and grabbing her phone. AJ nearly choked on his food and put down the sandwich. Win made to dial the phone when AJ gave her a little push.
“You are really funny Win, really hysterical.” He said wiping his mouth, she put the phone up to her ear.
“Shh! I’m trying to hear!” she whispered.
“You pain in the ass!” he said laughing and taking the phone out of her hand.
“Got to keep you on your toes,” she laughed.
“You certainly do your share. Now really, what are your favorite things to do?” he asked putting an arm around her.
“Like I said, reading, singing, just hanging out with you. Kissing you is nice too.” She said leaning in and kissing him.
“I like that too.” AJ replied kissing her cheek.
“Hum, but back to what we were talking about.”
“Oh, yeah, so what’s your favorite movie?” he asked.
“That’s hard to say, I haven’t seen many. But I’d have to say, that Johnny Depp flick, with the pirates.” Win said trying to remember the title.
“Oh, the Pirates of the Caribbean. You liked that?” he asked surprised.
“Who doesn’t like pirate stories? I love reading pirate stories, swashbuckling tails, sword fights, living on the ocean, ships, what’s not to love?”
“Good point. I don’t do that much reading anymore.”
“Really?” she asked.
“Not much time, plus I haven’t really wanted to.” AJ replied before biting into his sandwich.
“Did you used to read a lot?” Win asked.
“When my mom was around. See when we started out, I was just sixteen. She used to come with me everywhere, that’s why we’re so close. She home schooled me, as well as Nick and Brian a little bit too while we were on tour. She made sure that we read something at least three times a week. We used to complain about it, but really we did enjoy it, having some time that was quiet. She even had Kevin reading, and he was twenty-four, I think, anyways. She stayed with us until I was, oh twenty, although she did come on the Millennium tour for a while. She missed me, and to tell you the truth the guys and I both did also. She was kinda like the den mother. She and Nick’s mom both were like that.” Win was sitting with her hand propped up on her hand like she was listening to a story.
“What’s that look on your face for?” AJ asked suspiciously.
“It’s just cute is all.” Win replied smiling at him.
“What?” he asked.
“That you, with your big, macho, bad boy image, the hats, black nails, tattoos, the clothes, talking about how much you love your mother.”
“So I love my mother, I expect most guys who have a mother who treated them as well as my mother did me, would love them too.”
“Yeah, but you’re admitting it, most other guys wouldn’t.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“You’re embarrassed about it, aren’t you?” Win asked grinning.
“I am not embarrassed about it, I just usually don’t talk about it.” He said, although a tinge of pink was crawling into his cheeks.
“You are cute.” Win replied picking up her sandwich. Her phone rang.
“Hold on a second,” she said grabbing her phone.
“Hello? Oh yes, hi, yeah, I’ve got that information right here. Hold on,” Win grabbed her notebook, and flipped through a few pages.
“Yeah, here it is, the concert on the fifteenth has been moved to the seventeenth, that’s October. No, that venue backed out, it’s going to be at Jensen Maynerd Center for Music, right, on route fifty, yup, seven o’clock. Okay, you’ll want what, four tickets you said to that? Okay, I’ll talk to him for you. Yes, I’ll have him call you back. Okay, bye Walter.” Win hung up the phone, made a couple notes on her page and threw the stuff back on the other side of the table.
“Seems like you got the hang of this new job I see?” AJ asked impressed.
“Yeah, it’s nice really.” Win replied grabbing her sandwich again.
“You enjoy it?”
“Yeah, I do miss the crew though. But now I should have some actual free time, not having to just sneak around and try to find five minutes to spend with you when Red isn’t looking.” Win replied.
AJ and Win spent another hour or more for lunch, talking about all the trivial things, likes and dislikes, favorites of this and that and other things. Before he was ready, Dennis called AJ to an appearance and Win had to go speak with Daemon. They kissed each other good bye and went their ways.

Part II Chapter 40

By the end of the week Win had shown Daemon and Dennis she was extremely capable and efficient at her job. So much so that she had plenty of free time as did Daemon who was no longer burdened with over thirty phone calls a day. Daemon let Win know that the label people were coming to see the tour and wanted everything up to scratch.
By Friday afternoon Win was ready and waiting. AJ was a little nervous, as were the rest of the guys, being that this was the man that kept them in the music business. Win was not really worried, she’d done the best job possible and on the far off chance that the guys remembered to have her sing for the guy, she was prepared. Not only was ready to sing, but she was ready to refuse his offer to sign her if that even crossed his mind.
At four o’clock this guy would be arriving to have a sit down meeting with the guys, Dennis, Daemon, and his new assistant, Win. Right now they were on their way back towards Texas, then they’d pass through the south, up through Florida, back along the east coast, through Pennsylvania and end in New York with a final US concert in Madison Square Garden. That is, if the label was happy with what little success they had made.
Four o’clock rolled around and the people showed up. Everyone made their greetings then Daemon pulled Win forward.
“Clive, this is Winifred Caldon, our new executive assistant, Win, this is Clive Davis, the head of Jive Records.” Win nodded her head and held out her hand.
“Nice to see you again Clive.” She said smiling.
“I see you’ve moved up in the ranks, didn’t take you long.” Clive replied.
“All it took was dropping an iced latte down the pants of my boss, Red.” Win replied. AJ, Nick, Brian, Howie and Kevin all stood there gapping, as did Daemon.
“You all seem confused as to how I know Win here. A good friend of mine, minister at a church in Pennsylvania told me about this girl who could sing. I humored him and visited the church. When I heard this girl sing I offered her a deal and she turned me down flat.” Win interrupted him.
“Then he offered me a job, I waited for a while, called him up, and the rest is history.”
“So, you, knew Clive, all this time?” Daemon asked.
“Of course I did.” Win replied.
“You knew you’d be seeing him again today?” Dennis asked.
“No, I had no idea who was coming today. No one said it was Clive Davis specifically, so I didn’t assume, but you all have a meeting to attend to, don’t let me stand in the way.” Win said taking a seat at the large office table. Everyone followed suit and when everyone was seated Clive said,
“My offer still stands Winifred.”
“Thank you, but no thank you. This job suits me just fine.” Win replied casually. Clive however was not to be put off with this cool attitude.
“I’m gonna make you an offer that you can’t refuse Winifred.” Clive said.
“I highly doubt that, but go ahead.” Win replied.
“The boys here are going be on their third single for this new album of theirs. They’ve agreed, and so have I on ‘Siberia’, but here’s where the deal comes in. I want them to record it again, and I want you to collaborate with them. One song, one video, that’s the deal I’m offering.” Clive said sitting up, his fingers intertwined.
“Clive, I am afraid you are trying to bargain with the wrong person. Your clients are over there.” Win replied gesturing towards AJ and Brian.
“We’d love to work with Win. She’s great singer, and we’re all good friends with her.” Brian said.
“Yeah, that would be awesome.” Nick said next. Kevin and Howie also followed with comments.
“It looks like everyone else thinks it’s a good idea. What say you Win?” Clive said again.
Win took a moment and looked down in her lap. It was one song, it was one video. The guys said they wanted her to sing with them. AJ wanted her to sing with him. She looked over to him and he said,
“If she doesn’t want to do it, let her alone Clive.” But he was staring at her, slowly nodding his head. She could see through the glasses now, despite that his eyes were hidden. His eyes were in his words. Slowly she looked back into her lap and thought again. AJ wanted this for her. He wanted her to succeed. There was nothing wrong with trying. She lifted up her head with a smile spread across her face.
“I’ll do it.” Shouts and cheers went up from all sides of the room. Clive leaned back nodding and smiling.
“Fantastic.”

Part II Chapter 41

The tour was in a state of chaos now that Win had agreed to do the song and the video. Daemon was floored, the guys were ecstatic and Clive looked as though Christmas had come four months early. Other business was finished quickly, very quickly in fact since Win was Clive’s main motive of visiting. When finally away from all the commotion, AJ picked Win up in his arms and spun her around the room.
“Now why on earth did you agree to do that?” he asked more pleased than confused. He sat her down on the edge of what was now their bed and she said,
“I was thinking about how lucky I am, the wonderful things I have. It seemed awful stupid to be mad at people who thought I could really be something. I know better than to count my eggs before they hatch. I’m lucky to have people who believe in me. I just thought that I should believe in myself as much as everyone else did. And this is just a small step. I’m not signing any contracts or anything. This is also just to shut all of you up for a while.”
“I’m glad that you’re taking a chance, for whatever reason it is, and it is going to be such fun singing with you!” he said squeezing her again.
“All right, enough! You’re gonna pop my lungs, I won’t be able to sing.” She laughed.
“I’m so happy for you Win, I really am.”
“You better get to your concert.” Win said patting his leg.
“You gonna come watch?” he asked.
“Sure, I’ll come watch.”
“Good, lets go then.” AJ kissed her again before they both grabbed their things and went down to the venue.
Win waited for the bad side to drop out of her brain as she thought about what she was going to be doing. She couldn’t be upset about it. Secretly she had always wanted to be an entertainer, but she never thought she was good enough. She didn’t want to be a puppet, she wanted to do her own songs, and be herself on stage. But this was a good way to try out the spotlight, if she didn’t like it, she didn’t have to go any farther with it. But on the other hand if she did like it, there was no telling what could happen next.

Win watched the show from the audience that night with Taylor, Clive and Dennis in the front row. AJ waved at her several times, she felt as though she had a show being put on just for her. It was a flawless show, and Win enjoyed herself immensely. She felt as though she were on top of the world.

That feeling did not last long. The next morning on the bus, Clive had sat down with Win, Dennis, a contract and a pen.
“As soon as this single is played out we’ll start work on your album and you can open for the guys in Europe.” Clive said grinning handing the pen to Win.
“I didn’t say I was doing an album, or performing any concerts.” Win said placing the pen on the table and grabbing the contract and starting to read.
“Well course you want to put out an album, and the boys’ audience will love you. I’ve got a great bunch of songs your voice will fit perfectly.” Clive replied enthusiastically. Win grunted and continued to read for another ten minutes until she’d read through the entire contract. Flipping over the last page she looked up and dropped the contract on the table.
“Nothing doing Clive. I said I’d record the one song with the guys, and the one video. I am not performing any concerts, I am not making any albums, and I am not signing any contracts.” Win replied.
“Why not? I don’t understand this Winifred, you could be a superstar!” Clive said.
“Yeah, but at what cost? Don’t play me like a fool Clive. I may not have watched a lot of television but I have read a lot, and I know what you, and your opposition do to people. And I am also aware of what needs to occur in order to have a hit.” Win replied pushing the pen towards Clive along with the contract.
“And just what might that be?” Clive asked.
“First of all, you have to have some electronic, hooky, dance number song, about heartbreak, with either disgusting lyrics or ones you can’t understand, and then you have be willing to wear barely nothing, or nothing at all, and then comes the fact that you have a shred of talent, which is only an afterthought.” Win replied angrily.
“Do you want to do the song and the video or not?” Clive asked fuming.
“I will do them, but I will not sign anything. Do you still want me, or not?” Win asked.
“Then sign the contract!” Clive exclaimed.
“No.” Win got up and went back to the game room where AJ, Brian and Howie were watching a baseball game.
“Things going all right out there?” AJ asked as she took a seat between him and Howie.
“No, Clive wants me to sign some giant contract that makes him rich if I market well, and me a stress case.” Win replied.
“You still going to do the song then?” Nick asked.
“If he still wants me to do it, but I’m not signing a contract, plain and simple.”
“You stick to your guns Win,” Brian said looking at her.
“I agree.” Howie replied.
“Me too, if it doesn’t feel right, and you don’t know what you’re signing, don’t do it.” AJ said seriously.
“Oh I know what I’d be signing. A five year contract with a three album minimum, two eighteen month tours, and fifteen percent.” Win replied.
“What?” Brian said surprised.
“Yup. Not to mention that he picks all the songs, directs everything, and wants to run my life.”
“Five years?” AJ asked.
“Yes.” Clive’s head popped in the door.
“So, have we cooled down? Ready to sign the contract?” Clive asked.
“Nope, unless you scratch out, albums, five years, tours and hand picked songs, I’m not budging.” Win replied.
“You are hopeless Win! Fine, I’ll have another contract written up in the morning.” Clive said before storming back out to the kitchen.
“Well done Win.” Brian said with a smile.

Part II Chapter 42

The next day Win signed a contact that she would record one song only, and one video. She’d receive one seventh of the profits from the CD single that would be released along with the video. She’d also agreed on two photo shoots and grudgingly one concert of Clive’s choosing. Aside from the things Clive wanted, Win also had several clauses written into the contract to suit her. The first was that the contract expired by the end of the three year tour, as well as she got to keep her job as executive assistant, and she would do no traveling that took her away from the tour, and the guys. Clive was not happy about the contract, but he had at least something.
Work on the song had already started in the past week. A few of the lyrics had to be rearranged and changed for Win’s part. Kevin was working with Win, teaching her some piano and AJ helped her with the vocals. Siberia was one of the songs she’d never heard, because they did not perform it at their concerts. After she’d listened to it a few times Win liked it, and could work a good harmony with it. Now it was not uncommon to find the guys and Win working at the piano at the venue at all odd times of the night and day.
At the beginning of the sixth tour month, Clive came to the guys with several video layouts. Win was not too particular, she said she’d go with whatever Clive or the guys wanted, within reason of course. Unfortunately she had to meet with Daemon and Dennis and a venue manager the day the final video was picked. When she returned to read the script and see the mock-ups she was livid.
“I am not making out with all of them! Forget it! What the hell is this, a porno, or a music video?” she asked when she saw the concept sheet.
Kevin, Brian, Nick, AJ and Howie are boyfriends of Winifred.
Each is lamenting on her leaving him, and they are all thinking
Back to the good times with her. Each views the other guys as
Competition. All scenes will be paralleled between Winifred and
Each of the respective boyfriends. These scenes will include
Kissing, making love, hugging, and various other ideas to be
Named later. We close with the guys walking away and leaving her
To a snowy fate.
“It’s a perfectly common music video sketch.” Clive responded.
“Perfectly common? Then open up your friggen mind and make it uncommon! No way in hell!” she shouted.
“I got to agree on that one Clive, I mean, we’re friends, and two of us have wives, not to mention the fact that Win and AJ are dating.” Kevin said seriously. Clive’s ears pricked up at the sound of the word dating.
“What was that? You and AJ are dating?” Clive asked.
“Yes,” Win said exasperated.
“How long exactly?”
“Well, We’ve been touring since March, I met Win in April, so, it’ll be five months in a few days now. Wow, can you believe it, five months.” AJ said shaking his head.
“No I can’t, but that is not the issue here!” Win replied.
“Look, this is going to be real clear. It’s acting. You just do it okay? If you don’t like it, I don’t care. Besides, your wives should understand these things by now. You are entertainers, you do what you have to.”
“Excuse me, but I am not an entertainer by any stretch of the word!” Win said angrily.
“You signed a contract, so for now, you are. Besides, I don’t hear your, what is he, boyfriend, making any complaints, now do I?” Clive asked in a contemptuous tone, staring at AJ.
“Because I know to argue with you about this is just fruitless. But make no mistake in this, I am not happy about it.” AJ replied sternly.
“What if we boycott the video, and just not do it?” Brian asked.
“Then I shut down the tour. End of story.” Clive sat back and let the effect of this sink in.
“I guess we’re doing the video then. I just have on thing to say to you Clive.” Win said with clenched teeth.
“What’s that Winifred?” Clive asked.
“You are one sneaky, nasty bastard!” Win got up and hurried out of the office with AJ right behind her.
“Hey, hey, wait up, hold on.” AJ said finally grabbing her and pulling her into his arms.
“Oh, what a jerk, I knew I should not have signed anything!” Win said, now positively shaking with anger.
“Okay, calm down, it’s all right. We can deal with this. Really, it’s not as bad as all that.” AJ said kissing the top of her head.
“I should not have trusted him, why couldn’t I see that?” Win asked, her body only slightly trembling now.
“Because it happens sometimes Win. Even I didn’t see this coming. Look, it will be fine, okay, really.”
“Are you sure about that?” she asked.
“Look at it this way. One of those guys is me, so you’re comfortable with that, right?” he asked. She nodded.
“Okay, and next, Kevin is married, he’s going to be just as uncomfortable as you are, and Tessa is going to be right there. Third, Brian, who is also married, and has a new little girl, thanks to you. That’s three down.” Again Win nodded.
“Then there’s Howie and Nick, you’re friends with them, plus they are also my friends. So we’ll just tell them that if anything happens, I’ll kill ‘em? Okay?” he asked. She laughed.
“Okay, you’re right. But aren’t you worried?” she asked.
“Of course I am. I mean Clive wants my four brothers to play act like they are kissing and having sex with my girlfriend, on camera. What guy would be okay with that? But I also know that it is just acting. And like I said, if they touch you the wrong way, I’ll kill ‘em, that’s all.” Win laughed again.
“You feeling better about it?” he asked.
“Yeah, a lot better. But before the video, we’re having a little conference with the guys, and Tessa and Brianna, just to go over a few rules.”
“Good idea. And one more thing, you are not allowed to enjoy being with any of them either.” AJ added as an afterthought. Win laughed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be so uncomfortable you’ll be plenty happy.”

Part II Chapter 43

Taping for the video was scheduled in October. Win decided to worry about it when it came around, as did everyone else. The tour went on as planned. Win was working her tail off, while the guys were getting tired of the tour. Brian was missing Brianna and Winnie terribly. So much so, that when they had more than one night off, he flew home to Florida. Lately Kevin and Tessa had been arguing, and no one was sure about what. Kevin had not spoken to any of the guys, and Tessa had not spoken to Win.
Despite the attitudes that were going around, Win was doing her part to keep people in good spirits. She acted the clown, burst into song at odd times and would use anything in reach as a hat. However, AJ’s spirit could not be dampered as long as Win was around. He did his best to keep the tour from becoming monotonous. He and Win’s relationship was flourishing. He’d never been so happy in a woman in his life. Win was never happier in her life, except maybe when she’d been a kid, living with Elizabeth, but she felt just as safe and just as loved now.

The one person who had been unusually quiet during all of what had happened lately was Red. There were of course several reasons, and he was not happy about any of them. First off, his girlfriend had dumped him. Then Win had been hired away, he had no gopher to treat like a piece of crap any more, or take his aggressions out on. Not only that, but because he had no assistant he was much busier than usual. He was also especially mad that Win was getting all this attention. Here she was, on the tour less than a month, and sleeping with one of the Backstreet Boys, not to mention probably Daemon as well, and then she is promoted. Not only that, then she’s offered a music deal. Nothing else could have made Red more angry than watching Win, a woman he considered so beneath him, a homeless bum, and drug addict to boot, sleep her way to the top. But he’d show everyone what she really was. He’d show her.

One evening when there was no concert, Win was practicing on her own at the piano. Brian, Kevin and Howie had just left to get something to eat, and AJ and Nick would return shortly, bringing dinner back for Win and themselves. No one else was at the venue because it was a free night and they were all taking advantage of the city.
Win was picking at the keys when she remembered that’d she’d left her keys by the control panel while she had talked to Gina that morning when they were setting up. Not wanting to forget them again, Win went to look for them.
It was quite inconvenient to look for her keys in the dark, so she flipped the lights on and found her keys. She was just walking back to the piano when she saw Red.
“Hey Win, you’re just the person I wanted to talk to.” He said casually approaching her with a smile on his face.
“Hi Red, what do you need?” Win asked in a friendly matter. She’d not seen or talked to Red in a while, considering her new job, and the obvious reason, she didn’t like him. But she thought it best to be friendly as she could.
“Well, I just got something, that I thought you’d like.” Red said putting a hand on her back, leading her towards to the back of the stage.
“What would that be?” Win asked.
“Oh, I thought you and I, could just go into one of the vans, drink a little vodka, listen to a little Hendrix, smoke a little reefer, get a little friendly.” Red said smiling. Win stopped in her tracks.
“I don’t think so Red, maybe some other time.” She said retreating.
“No, not some other time,” he replied grabbing her arm.
“Let go of me!” Win screamed twisting her arm out of his grasp. She started to run but Red knocked her down, pinning her arms behind her and wrapping something around them. He flipped her over and she tried to scuttle away on her back.
“Oh no you don’t, you think you’re so high and mighty, fucking everyone around here, just to get ahead. Taking away, what should have been my rightful promotion, I’ll show you, you bitch!” Red yelled at her, grabbing an ankle and pulling her back under his legs.
“Get off of me!” Win screamed. Red slapped her hard across the face.
“Shut up, it’s time to pay your dues!” he shouted back. He unbuckled his belt and Win’s eyes grew wide and she screamed again, pushing backwards with her feet.
“Not so fast, your so quick to pay everyone else a visit, you can do it for me too!” Red slapped her again and ripped at the button on her jeans. She continued to scream and struggle for what seemed like an eternity. Red slapped her again to make her shut up but this time she took aim and kicked him in the groin. He crumpled for a second and she pushed away from him again with her feet, struggling to get up.
She screamed for help as she ran but Red caught her again and she slammed headlong into the piano bench. He kicked her ankle sharply and stars popped into her eyes as she felt a lump growing on her forehead. Red flipped her over on her back, slapping her again as she tried keep from losing consciousness. She cried feebly for help as she saw Red exposing himself. She felt her jeans being loosened from her hips, and her vision became blurry. She tried to kick her leg again, but Red had sat on them and pinned them down. Cold tears hit her cheeks as Red positioned her hips for him. He grinned evilly. She called out for help one more time.
“Please, some one, anyone, help me.”
“Get the fuck off her!” Red looked up long enough to see AJ diving at him. Win felt Red’s body fall off her legs with a crash as AJ fell beside her.
She heard the scuffling beside her and she did her best to crawl backwards.
“Hold on Win!” she heard as she was pulled out from under the piano and helped her up, fixing her clothes.
“I got ya, I got ya.” They said again pulling her up and releasing her hands. Her head hurt so much she couldn’t see. Her vision cleared for a moment and she saw Nick’s worried face pulling her close to him and holding her tight.
“You son of a bitch!” AJ roared pinning Red to the floor as he struggled.
“What the hell is going on here?” Taylor called jogging onto the stage.
“He attacked Win!” Nick said.
“You jerk! Hold on to him AJ.” Taylor called the police and then helped AJ pull Red off the floor.
“You bitch, you’ll get what’s coming to you!” Red screamed.
“Come on Win, let’s get you out of here.” Nick said trying to lead her forward, but she stumbled.
“Here Win, take it easy.” Nick said leaning down and picking her up, pulling her close to his body. Her head hurt so much she couldn’t really think of much else. Nick carried her out to the lobby and sat down with her still in her lap.
AJ came out a minute later and took Win from Nick.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry, I am so sorry. I should have been here.” He said holding her and stroking her hair.
“I’m okay, really,” Win replied. Her eyes were still full of tears, her head hurt so bad, and she felt humiliated.
The police arrived and took Red into custody. They spoke to Win, with AJ hovering over her, and she gave her statement and agreed to press charges.
“When you take her to the hospital, make sure they take pictures of the injuries.” The head policemen commented as AJ picked her up.
“We will.” Nick said putting a hand on Win’s shoulder and rubbing it.
“Miss, we’re going to take him down to the police station now, you don’t have to worry about him. We’ll have the court set up a time in the morning to get this taken care of right away.” He said looking at Win.
“Thank you officer.” She replied quietly.

Win was silent on the ride to the hospital, and even quieter as she was taken care of. Both cheeks were extremely swollen and she had a large bump on the left side of her head. Her ankle was twisted and she had bruises on her abdomen and hips from where Red had grabbed her. When she was finished, the doctor handed her a folder with all her information, and copies of the pictures for the court hearing.
The doctor accompanied her out to the waiting room to help her on her bad leg.
“I gave her an ankle brace, it’s sprained but not too bad. She really got a bad bump on her head, and the rest are just really bad bruises that will hurt for a while. I gave her some sleeping pills and some pain pills for the next two weeks. If she’s still in pain, she’ll need to see another doctor. I suggested to keep ice on the ankle and the bump until the swelling goes down.” The doctor handed Win over to AJ who picked her up immediately. Nick took Win’s pills and folder from her, and listened to the doctor’s explanation.
“She will be all right? Won’t she?” AJ asked.
“Give it a few weeks, and she’ll be right as rain. But stay off that ankle as much as possible, and just rest.”
“Thank you doctor.” Nick said before they walked out.
Win stayed silent on the ride back to the hotel in AJ’s arms. When they arrived, the whole of the tour was in the lobby waiting to see if she was okay.
Nick quietly pushed them all back and let AJ take Win to bed.
Upstairs, AJ laid her gently down on the bed and went to get her medication.
“Lets see, two, every eight hours, and these, one before bedtime.” AJ said opening the bottles.
“Throw them away.” Win said quietly, curled into a ball on the left side of the bed.
“It’ll make you feel better.” AJ said grabbing a glass of water from the bathroom. He sat down on the side of the bed and held out the water and pills for her.
“I don’t want any pills, just throw them away.” She said sternly, not looking at him.
“Win, it’s just for you to get some sleep.” He tried.
“I don’t want to get rid of the pain. I don’t want to bury it and forget about it.” She said, still looking at the wall.
“Okay, okay, you don’t have to take anything.” I’ll just leave it here for you, in case you want it.” He said setting the glass down along with the three white pills.
“I said I don’t want them at all, why can’t you understand that!” she said sitting up and grabbing the pills off the side table. She scrambled up off the bed and hobbled over to where the other pills were and grabbed them.
“Win, you shouldn’t be walking!” AJ said going after her. She hobbled into the bathroom, ripping the lids off the pills and threw them in the toilet and flushed. She threw the bottles away and looked up at AJ.
“I don’t need any more pills!” she said, “I don’t want to medicate it away. It happened, I have to face that!” she said, the tears building in her eyes.
“You don’t have to face it tonight,” AJ said, trying to console her.
“Yes I do, cause that is the best time to do it.” She replied, the first of many tears spilling out of her eyes.
“Not always, Win, I understand.” He said, but that was the wrong thing to say. She put her hands up to her face and shouted.
“You don’t understand! You don’t know! You don’t get it!” She started to sob. She leaned back against the wall and slid down the wall till she was sitting on the floor. AJ kneeled and sat next to her.
“Then make me understand. I want to know, I want to get it.” He said, watching her shake and tremble, wanting to make her feel better, but not knowing how.
“Give me one of your cigarettes.” She said removing her hands and wiping away some of her tears.
“What?” he asked surprised.
“Just do it.” He pulled his pack out of his pocket and pulled one out of the package, sticking it between his lips and lighting it before handing it to her.
“Thanks,” she said taking it with shaking fingers and putting it to her lips and dragging on the stick. The smoke flared out from between her lips and out of her nostrils as she blew it out.
“Tell me Win.” He said gently. She puffed on the cigarette for another moment and then turned to him, her tear-streaked face just making him want to die.
“Elizabeth’s death wasn’t the only reason I starting doing drugs.” She said holding the cigarette in a shaking hand.

Part II Chapter 44

“The second night I was out on the street, after I got kicked out of the orphanage, I was walking along Green Street, it was night, and of course it was stupid to be out, walking at night. I heard someone walking up behind me, they were heavy steps, very heavy. Very ominous too, should have warned me. But I didn’t have time to think about anything, I didn’t hear anything else except the swishing of air when something hit my head. When I woke up I had a blind fold over my eyes and I was tied down. There was a man, he was on top of me, and he raped me.” Win said all of this as if she were explaining something to a student who hadn’t listened the first time she spoke. She didn’t look directly at AJ as she spoke, she couldn’t.
She took another long shaking drag of her cigarette and breathed out the smoke before she continued.
“For the next three days, maybe four, I can’t remember now, he used me. Or really it was more than just him. There were always other voices. I never saw his face. He would drug me, he’d inject me with something, I think it was heroin, but I’m not sure. Anyways, I usually woke up when they were in the middle of it. He never spoke to me. Just raped me. I don’t know how many times, I lost count.” She finished her cigarette here and flicked the butt into the sink. AJ lit another one and passed it to her.
“Thanks,” she replied, still shaking, her swollen face making her all the more tragic looking. AJ lit himself a cigarette as well and leaned his head back as he blew the smoke out of his nostrils, trying to let what had happened to her sink in.
“After he was finished using me he beat the shit out of me, slit my wrists,” she held them up to show AJ. He ran his fingers over the raised and jagged scars. These were the scars he’d thought she’d inflicted upon herself. She felt him take her hand and cradled it in his as she continued.
“He wrapped me in a rug, and threw me in the dumpster behind his apartment complex. I don’t know how long I was there, but I was convinced, that I’d die.” She paused here, sitting and smoking, watching while AJ stroked her hand, fingers and wrist. She finished her second cigarette and again flicked the remnants into the sink. AJ offered her a third and she accepted it, holding it to her lips as AJ lit it for her.
She sat back again and blew out a few smoke rings.
“I thought I had died.” She continued.
“But when I woke up, I was in the hospital. I spent three weeks drugged on pain meds. I didn’t have to feel anything. When I was finally recovered enough, the police spoke to me, but there wasn’t anything they could do. I hadn’t seen the man. When I left the hospital for the streets, the memories haunted me. The pain rushed back, and I couldn’t deal with it. I had a few dollars and I knew a couple people who dealt in drugs, I mean, word travels. I got some stuff, and for the next three years, that’s what I focused on. During the day I stayed on pain meds to get me through my jobs, at night, I shot up, snorted, smoked, you name it. Anything to stop from remembering. The only good thing I had left was the choir. And eventually they noticed. You know the rest from there.” She said finally. She felt relieved. For so long she’d carried that around with her.
“Win, I, I am so sorry that happened to you.” AJ said finally.
“So is the guy that did it. Only he’s sorry I didn’t kick it in the dumpster.” She replied.
“How can you, how are you not afraid of,” AJ didn’t know how to finish.
“What, sex? I can distinguish between the two. That was not sex, that was not love. That was rape AJ. That was pain. It could never feel good. Sex feels good, I like sex, just as much as the next woman. I don't like being raped.” She replied.
“And you’re not afraid of anything.” He said.
“I can’t be. If I was, I’d never do anything. I’ve never actually told that to anyone before.” Win replied distantly, pulling the glowing embers closer to her fingers. AJ turned to her, and looked her directly in the eyes.
“I’m honored, that you told me Win, that you felt you could tell me, about, this horrible, horrible thing that happened to you. Win, I want you to know. That I am going to be here for you, forever. And you can always count on me, you can always call me, I’ll come right away, no matter how big, or how small. I love you Win, and I will always protect you. I’m going to be by your side, for the rest of your life. No one, and I mean no one, will ever hurt you again.” AJ felt tears in his own eyes.
“Oh AJ, it’s okay, don’t cry.” Win said wiping away his tears.
“It’s just so awful. And you Win, are this amazing, beautiful person, this incredible, wonderful person. You’ve been through so much, and you still have the strength to go on. You continue to amaze me, every time I look at you. I don’t understand why anyone would want to hurt you. And it makes me so angry, that I can’t do anything about it.” AJ said gently touching her face.
“You can do something about it, you can understand. You can be here for me. You can continue to love me the way you have, with your entire heart.” Win replied.
“And I do love you Win, I love you so much.”
“I love you too AJ.”
“What say we get up out of this bathroom and do something?” he asked.
“Yeah, okay.” Win replied. They both got rid of their cigarettes and he stood up. Win was trying to get up but he picked her up instead and carried her out to the bed and set her gently on it. He sat beside her.
“What do you feel like doing?” he asked brushing the hair away from her face.
“Chain smoke two or three packs, lay back, in your arms and watch the smoke curl away.” She replied.
“We’re going to need some more cigarettes then.”

Part II Chapter 45

Win woke up sore and still tired. She was draped across AJ’s lap, while he sat up against the headboard, head lolling to one side as he slept. She remembered the previous night and their discussion. Over on the nightstand was an overflowing ashtray. The air was stale with the scent of cigarette smoke. Win wrinkled her nose at this, it had been a long time since she had smoked. Now she remembered why she quit.
One of the first things she had noticed about AJ was that characteristic stale smoke smell. He didn’t smoke often, but just enough to keep the smell lingering about him. It didn’t really bother her that much at first, but now it did. It was nauseating. Just the thought of it now bothered her. Getting up quietly, so as not to disturb him, she hobbled across the room and flung open the doors to the tiny patio that was just large enough for two people to stand on. The stale air whooshed past her into the open and her stomach swooped sickeningly.
Putting her hand over her mouth she quickly went to the bathroom and closed the door before vomiting. She stumbled over to the sink and rinsed her mouth out. She wiped her mouth clean and stood up. Her face was unrecognizable to her. Her cheeks had bruised purple and black. She had a slight black eye. Her temple looked as though an egg had been forced under her skin. She lifted her shirt and stared at the large tarantula shaped black and yellow bruises across her stomach and up her side. She felt her sore ankle and grimaced from the pain. So was her life.
There was a knock at the door .
“You okay baby?” AJ said catiously. Win opened the door and smiled at him.
“I’m fine, just a little too much cigarette smoke for me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said gently hugging her.
“That’s all right, you’re just going to quit smoking is all.” She replied patting him on the back and hobbled to her suitcase.
“What do you mean, I’m going to quit?”
“You need to quit smoking. It ruins your voice, your health, and it makes you smell.” Win replied searching for her clothes. She pulled out some comfortable jeans and a long sleeve sweatshirt.
“It’s never bothered you before,” he replied.
“Well, it bothers me now. So you’re quitting. End of story, I want you around for a while.” She sat down on the bed and removed her socks and removed her shirt. AJ gasped at the bruises that enveloped her body like a giant pair of diseased hands.
“What’s the matter?” she asked pulling the sweat shirt onto her arms and holding it before she put it over her head. He walked over, and kneeled in front of her, his hands, clasping her sides.
“Win, I want to make you a promise, okay, now just listen to me. I promise you, that I will never, allow anyone to hurt you ever again. I promise you, that I will never, harm you, in any way, shape or form. And I also promise, that I will, to the best of my ability, care for you, physically, financially, if you want me to, and most of all spiritually.”
“That’s very sweet AJ. But why do you need to make a promise to me? You’ve already given me everything I need.” Win said running her fingers through his hair.
“Because I want you to know. I need you to know how serious I am about you. I will do anything it takes to make you happy. I would do anything you asked me, because now, you are my sole reason for being. You are the reason I didn’t give up. I came back to life, so I could meet you. God saw you and led you to me. And I want him to know, and you, that I am going to be forever grateful for it.” She cocked her head to one side and smiled at him.
“I don’t know if God had anything to do with it. But if he did, I’ll be grateful to him too. I’ve gotten lucky so many times. I was thrown away twice, and twice I was rescued. You saved me from Red. I got off the streets, I have you. Maybe there is a God up there. But if there is one thing I believe in, it’s angels, cause I found me one right here. And though he may be rough around the edges, imperfect, and a little different from the rest of the world, I feel his wings enfold my shoulders every time he holds me, and I hear truth and music in every word he says.”
“Win, I want you to take this, I’ve worn it for a long time now,” AJ said picking up his hands and removing his silver ring from his right hand. He held it up for her to take.
“Serenity?” she asked, running a finger over the engraving.
“It’s the prayer I’ve said everyday since I went to rehab. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I want you to hold this, as a promise, from me.” He said looking up at her, his hands resting on her thighs.
“You don’t have to give me this. It means so much to you.”
“But you mean more to me now.”
“AJ,” Win said pulling him up beside her and hugging him tightly. She kissed him when she finally let go and then put the ring on.
“You still have to quit smoking though.” She said slipping the shirt up over her head. All AJ could do was laugh and hug her again.

Part II Chapter 46

The hearing went quickly. The judge could not dispute the photos, nor Win’s appearance. Red was fined five thousand dollars, and to serve five years in prison for attempted rape and battery. AJ helped Win out of the courtroom muttering,
“It wasn’t enough.”
“He’s being punished, that is enough.” Win replied. They were welcomed back at the hotel for lunch by the entire crew. Win heard plenty of dirty comments about Red, and sympathy from everyone. The guys had all chipped in and bought her flowers. What surprised Win the most was Denise showing up.
“Mom, what are you doing here?” AJ asked.
“You called and told me what happened, I told you I was coming. Oh Winifred, sweet heart!” Denise wailed, flinging her arms around Win.
“Oh, Denise hi there, oh, watch that,” Win said wincing when Denise squeezed her.
“I am so sorry darling! Come on now. I’m here to take care of you.”
“I didn’t think you were serious mom.” AJ replied as Denise took Win off his arm.
“When one of my children needs me. Whether it be you, Win, or one of the boys, I’m going to be here, to take care of them. And now Win needs me. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“Oh mom, hang on,” AJ said scooping Win up and carrying her into the dining room.
“He is such a gentleman, Denise, you brought him up right.” Win said as AJ sat her gently in her chair and sat beside her.
“At least I did something right.” Denise said smiling smugly as she sat down on Win’s other side.
“You did every thing right ma.” AJ replied quietly, keeping his gaze away.
Nick sat down across from them a minute later. He’d been at the hearing that morning and given his testimony. Afterwards he’d left from the courthouse to go get something before returning to the hotel.
“How you feeling Win?” he asked.
“Oh, better. What’s the schedule for today?” Win asked.
“Nothing for you my dear. You are going to rest.” Denise said stoutly.
“I can still take phone calls and take care of business. A sprained ankle and a few bumps and bruises don’t keep me from answering the phone.”
“Yes it does. You need to take it easy. And I’m not leaving until every last one of those bruises has healed and you can walk properly.” Denise said adamantly.
“It’s better not to argue with her, she always wins.” AJ whispered.
“I heard that.” Denise said shooting a look at him.
“Then you know it’s true then.” He replied as Win laughed. Daemon entered the dining room and took a seat beside Nick.
“You are on bed rest until further notice, I’m taking over until you are better.” Daemon said sternly.
“What is this, a conspiracy?” Win laughed.
“Everyone just cares about you is all. We want you to get better.” Nick said quietly.
“I have a few bumps and bruises, that’s all, I’m not a paraplegic. I’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal.” Win replied.
“Win, Red attacked you,” Daemon started.
“And don’t I realize that better than anyone? Why do you keep bringing it up, I just want to get back to normal. Okay, so all of you, I don’t need to be babied, I’m fine.” Win said, a slight angry tone to her voice. The table went quiet.
“Thank you.” She said sitting back.
“I appreciate your concern, it is very sweet of all of you. But I just want to go back to normal.” AJ was not saying anything. Win was looking around at the redirected stares.
“I’m gonna quit smoking,” AJ said to change the subject.
“Hallelujah!” Denise said clapping her hands together.
“Thank God,” Kevin said nodding.
“About damn time!” Daemon said.
“I didn’t know so many people didn’t like it.” AJ said surprised.
“We were trying to be nice, you smell. Which, come to mention it, Win smells, just a little bit too.” Howie said.
“Yes, I smoked a few last night. I only smoke when I need to. I’m finished, that’s for sure.” Win replied.
“How come you’re all on my case, when Steve here smokes?” AJ asked pointing to Steve, sitting at the end of the table.
“What did I do?” Steve asked with a full mouth.
“We don’t especially like when he smokes either.” Daemon replied.
“What about, what’s his name?” Steve tried.
“Face it, you two are the only ones on the tour who smoke.” Gina said as she walked up behind AJ and patted his shoulder.
“Oh, are we going for a smoke free tour now?” AJ asked.
“You know, that would be an idea. A really good one as a matter of fact. Steve, you’re quitting too.” Daemon said sitting up.
“Thanks a lot AJ!” Steve said a little annoyed.
“So we want to keep you all around, shoot us.” Denise said. AJ shook his head.
“I saw that.” Denise said leaning around Win and pointing at AJ.
“What?” he asked accused.
“You need to stop smoking, and this goes for you too missy.” Denise said giving Win an eye as well.
“I haven’t been smoking, last night was the first time in four years. I was finished with that a long time ago.” Win replied, her hands up in defense.
“You better not. Now, eat up.”

Part II Chapter 47

They were now in Miami. AJ’s house was here so he, his mother and Win stayed there. It would be three weeks before they moved along, giving them time to record the single, put in appearances, perform several concerts and do the video. Brian lived about an hour and a half away from AJ, Nick and Howie were sharing a duplex on the beach, while Kevin and Tessa were camping at the hotel with the crew.
AJ owned a beautiful Miami mansion in the center of town. Not too close to the city, and not too far from the beach. He liked the beach, but he said,
“I’m not stupid, Florida is hurricane territory, why would I buy a house on the beach?” None the less, it was a gorgeous home.
Upon entering the home a short woman with dark brown skin and a thick braid of black hair greeted them.
“Ah Seinor! Bienvieniedos!” she said cheerily.
“Gracias, hola Edith. Edith, tu recuerdes mi Madre Denise, y este,” AJ said in his broken Spanish, leading Win forward.
“Ah, tu novia! Que bonita! Hola senorita!” Edith said shaking Win’s hand.
“Uh, right,” AJ said.
“Como se llama bonita?” Edith asked.
“Eh?” Win said confused. She felt stupid, she’d never learned any Spanish.
“Tu llama?” Edith asked again.
“She’s asking your name,” AJ whispered in her ear.
“Oh! Okay, me llama, Winifred.” Win said turning red.
“No hablas Espanol? Esta bien, te enseno. Okay, no speak Spanish. I speak some English, not much, only little.” Edith replied.
“Donde esta los perros?” AJ asked.
“Oh, en la concina.” Edith replied. AJ gave a long low whistle. The scraping of toenails and collars jangling echoed around the corner as three dogs came pelting towards AJ.
“Hey, my babies!” AJ said kneeling down on the floor and getting covered in doggie kisses.
“Oh, can I take your rat?” Edith asked Win, who was holding onto Jack’s cage.
“Thank you Edith.” Win smiled as AJ played with his dogs. Talking in baby voices to them, ruffling up their fur and ears.
“You never told me you had dogs.” Win said as the smallest of the three, white in color, like a small white retriever, approached her and sniffed her leg.
“Well, that’s Daisy, this is Tank,” AJ said pointing to the largest dog, a brown blond in color with curly fur, “and this is Serenity.” He said picking up a medium sized dog, that looked like a miniature collie. Win had to laugh.
“What?” he asked as one of the dogs licked his face.
“It’s too funny, to see you rolling around on the floor with dogs.” She replied.
“They’re my babies. Aren’t you Daize? Right babies?” he asked in his baby talk voice. Win kept laughing.
“Seinor es loco, when he plays with dogs, todo del tiempo.” Edith commented with a laugh. Win nodded.
“Was your trip good sir?” Edith asked.
“Oh very good Edith.” AJ replied, still playing with his dogs.
“Denise, como esta?” Edith asked. Denise burst into rapid Spanish. She and Edith spoke excitedly for a few moments.
“All, please come in kitchen, I have dinner, almost done.” Edith said walking towards the kitchen. Win went to grab her bag Edith said,
“Oh no no no, I take, later, you have long trip, time to rest.” Edith led Win into the kitchen herself, setting Jack on the counter and stuffing a piece of lettuce into the cage for him.
“Sientate, sientate, I get drinks for you!” Edith said hurrying away out of the dining room.
“She certainly has a lot of energy. So is she your?” Win asked confused.
“Oh, she just takes care of the house for me. Takes care of the dogs while I’m gone, she usually cooks and cleans for me while I’m here.” AJ replied.
“Edith is the daughter of a friend of mine in Maryland, I suggested her to AJ, to care for the house while he was away.” Denise said with a smile. The dogs had followed AJ into the dining room and were crowding around him to be pet.
“Here we are, iced tea for everyone!” Edith said returning to the room with a heavily laden tray.
“Dinner will be ready in ten minutes!” She said with a smile before darting off again.
“This house, is so big AJ. It’s incredible.” Win said, just looking around at the shear size of the room they were in.
“This is the kind of house that I wanted to get for mom, but she wanted that little dinky thing instead.” AJ said ruffling the fur on Tank’s head. Daisy and Serenity were already lounging in his lap.
“Oh, what do I need with a big house like this for? Besides, what it would take to clean it.” Denise said grabbing a glass of tea.
“I said I’d hire someone to take care of the house for you mom. You deserve nice things. I don’t understand why she won’t let me take care of her.” AJ replied.
“I don’t need someone to take care of my house, I am perfectly able to do it myself.” Denise retorted.
“Well that is the whole point. You wouldn’t have to do it, so you could spend your time doing other things you want to do instead.” AJ pointed out.
“All I do is visit relatives and do watercolors, I don’t need too much time for that.”
“But aren’t other things you want to do? Go to the beach, go shopping, I don’t know, a new hobby?” AJ asked.
“The only hobby I have is you dear.” Denise replied.
“I am not a hobby. I’m your good for nothing son, who should have made you move down here with me. Where you could have everything taken care of.” Win sat back and watched Denise and AJ argue for a strait ten minutes until Edith came back in with dinner.
“Enjoy!” she said and was about to walk away when Win said,
“Edith, why don’t you join us?” Edith blushed red and said.
“But I’m not supposed to eat with the boss, that’s rules.” She said timidly.
“Oh baloney, and you know it! You always go sneak off, and I have to drag you back. You come sit down, right now, I’ll go get you a place setting.” AJ said getting up and pulling out a chair for Edith. She was glowing red by the time she sat down.
“I don’t think of you as a maid or something Edith,” AJ said, setting her a plate and silverware on the table, “I think of you as family.” Edith didn’t stop blushing until dinner ended.

Part II Chapter 48

After dinner, Edith excused herself to take care of the luggage and threatened AJ, not to touch the dishes. He waited a few minutes after she was gone and began clearing the table. Denise got up to help and AJ playfully smacked at her and told her,
“Sit your ass down woman! I told you, I’d do it!” Denise and Win laughed heartily as Serenity jumped up into her lap.
“Oh hi sweetie. You are such a pretty dog, yes you are.” Win said petting her on the head and down the back.
“Truth be told, she’s AJ’s favorite.” Denise said.
“What kind of dog is she? She looks like a mini collie or something.” Win asked stroking the dog’s fur. Tank and Daisy were fretting around AJ’s heals in the kitchen, begging for scraps. Every once in a while he’d throw each dog a piece of something to stop them bugging him.
“I think she’s a sheltie. Daisy is a Bichon frise, I think, and Tank, he’s a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. I got him for AJ for his birthday two years ago. After that a friend of mine had to get rid of a puppy, that was Serenity, and he bought Daisy not too long ago.” Denise replied as Daisy raced into the dining room.
By the time Edith had finished arranging the rooms to her satisfaction, AJ had finished the dishes and was getting the dogs on leashes to take them for a walk. When Edith returned to a clean dining room and kitchen she smacked AJ around the head with a roll of paper towels.
“What matter with you? Is my job! My job! You take my job! Why you have me! Why don’t you fire me! Tu no necessitas mi! Niguna necessita Edith! Niguna quiere!”
“I love you Edith!” AJ said sheepishly, and giving her a hug.
“Oh fine, estupido, pallasjo! No more!” She said hitting him one more time with the towels.
“I’m taking the dogs for a walk, keep Win company for me.” AJ said before heading outside.
“Win, I take you upstairs, to you and Seinor’s room.” Edith said reentering the dining room.
“Thank you Edith, dinner was delicious.” Win said climbing out of her chair.

Once upstairs, Win really got to see how large the house was. The halls were gigantic, and everything was beautifully decorated. Edith led her along the hall, all the way to the end with a giant bedroom overlooking the back yard garden. There was a giant patio with double doors attached, and Win could just glimpse a pool.
A king-sized bed was in the corner, angled out so both sides were accessible. It was a white room, with soft plush gray carpeting and black accessories. Some framed watercolors accented the walls here and there. But other than that, the room was empty. Win noticed Jack’s cage on the side table. It was freshly scrubbed, with new food and water, and he was nibbling on a large peanut shell.
“You didn’t have to clean him out Edith, that’s my job.” Win laughed taking a moment to pet her rat.
“Is no trouble. He a very nice rata.” Edith replied smiling.
Edith led Win around the room, showing her where she had stowed her clothes and bags, where the bathroom was and then the patio.
“Seinor had this built when he moved in. Very nice. Pretty view.” Edith said pointing towards the garden and the pool. She noticed a small house set along the side of the property as well.
“Is that yours?” Win asked.
“Yes, Seinor very nice boss, he had built for me and me family.” Edith replied.
“Oh are you married?” Win asked as Edith helped her to a chair on the patio.
“Me no married. Solo me and me hija. She four year old now.”
“Wonderful. What is her name?”
“Latecia. Very good girl, she like Seinor mucho.”
“I’d like to meet her.” Win said smiling.
“She so much trouble sometime. I don’t bother you with her.”
“Oh, I like kids. She’ll be no bother to me.”
“Tomorrow, I bring her to meet you. Is okay?”
“Of course. How long does AJ usually take the dogs out for?”
“Seinor knows no time with perros. Some time one hour, other time two. Some time all day.” Edith replied. Denise knocked on the patio door.
“Hi Denise.” Win said.
“Hola chicas, would you mind if I borrowed Edith for a minute?” she asked.
“Oh no, go ahead, you two must have loads to talk about, I can’t keep up.” Win replied sincerely.
“Nice to talk to you Senorita,” Edith said politely getting up.
“Win, just Win.”
“Okay, Win, good night.”
“Thank you!” Win called after Denise and Edith.

Win liked Edith and Denise both very much, but she was glad for a quiet moment to think to herself. Every once in a while she liked to stop and take inventory of what she had. Especially now since she had so much to be thankful for. She had her friends, her job, and now a new family, AJ and Denise. She had Jack, her rat. She had her health, although she was a little beat up, but she could be worse, and she had money to be independent with. She also had AJ’s promise.
Thinking on this she looked down at her hand and looked at the word on her finger. Serenity. Its message was well received now, she was in serenity. She had a calm about her now. An irresistible calm and sweetness that came with it. Absolute serenity is where she was right now. The quiet, the stillness that came with a real love. She felt it enveloping her as much as AJ’s arms did when he held her. She was so lucky.

AJ jogged around the corner, the dogs in front of him as he spotted his favorite bench. The dogs knew where he wanted to go and ran towards it, pulling him along. He plopped down on it, Daisy and Serenity jumping up onto the bench beside him, everyone panting from their run.
“Oh boy. It’s been a while since I did that. You guys are gonna have to keep me in shape.” AJ panted as Tank laid his head in his lap.
“So what do you guys think of Win huh?” he asked ruffling up Tank’s ears. Daisy yipped twice in answer.
“Really now?” AJ asked petting her as well.
“That good huh? What about you Tank?” Tank batted his nose into his arm several times in rapid succession. Serenity barked as well.
“I guess it’s unanimous! Cause guess what guys, I kinda like her too. I think she’s going to be sticking around for a while too.” The dogs all appeared to be smiling at him. Serenity barked three times and AJ turned to her.
“What are you saying?” he asked playfully. She nipped at his finger. This time it hurt.
“Ouch, what was that for?” he asked. He realized the finger she bit was the one usually protected by his ring.
“Oh, yeah, I gave her the ring. So, what’s it to you?” he asked the dog. She bit the finger again.
“Ouch! Now that really hurt! Cut it out!” AJ said pulling his hand away from the dog.
“I got to get another ring, I forgot about the game you like to play, bite daddy’s finger off.” He said shaking his head. Then something hit him.
“Get another ring. That’s exactly what I have to do. But I don’t know, what do you guys think?” AJ asked, looking at his dogs for an answer. They all just stared at him.
“Oh a load of help you lot are. Get me thinking about things and then don’t answer me, that helps a lot. Oh and just for that bite, no treat for you Serenity.” AJ said petting her on the head. She growled playfully and hopped down off the bench, Daisy following her.
“Yeah, might as well go home. I don’t have to think about it right now.” AJ said as he stood up. He and the dogs jogged all the way home. Upon entering the house, AJ let the dogs loose and went to the kitchen to fill their water bowls. While there he lit up a cigarette and was on his way upstairs when Edith spotted him.
“No smoke in house! Bad for you! No more smoke! You want to smoke! You smoke outside! Not in house!” she yelled chasing him outdoors with the roll of paper towels again.
“Hey, it’ my house, I can smoke in it if I want to!” AJ protested.
“Yes, but I have to make house not smell like smoke, and is not nice. Is bad for you. Stop smoking! Ahora!” Win heard Edith shouting and got up to look over the balcony edge. AJ was standing outside smoking while Edith lectured him on smoking. She laughed.
“I thought I told you to stop that!” Win called. AJ looked up and smiled at Win.
“I’m tapering off!” he called, and Edith smacked him again.
“Pallajaso! No more smoke!” She pulled the cigarette out of his hand and disappeared into the house with it.
“I guess I’m done, I’ll be right up beautiful!” AJ called with a smile.

Part II Chapter 48

After dinner, Edith excused herself to take care of the luggage and threatened AJ, not to touch the dishes. He waited a few minutes after she was gone and began clearing the table. Denise got up to help and AJ playfully smacked at her and told her,
“Sit your ass down woman! I told you, I’d do it!” Denise and Win laughed heartily as Serenity jumped up into her lap.
“Oh hi sweetie. You are such a pretty dog, yes you are.” Win said petting her on the head and down the back.
“Truth be told, she’s AJ’s favorite.” Denise said.
“What kind of dog is she? She looks like a mini collie or something.” Win asked stroking the dog’s fur. Tank and Daisy were fretting around AJ’s heals in the kitchen, begging for scraps. Every once in a while he’d throw each dog a piece of something to stop them bugging him.
“I think she’s a sheltie. Daisy is a Bichon frise, I think, and Tank, he’s a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. I got him for AJ for his birthday two years ago. After that a friend of mine had to get rid of a puppy, that was Serenity, and he bought Daisy not too long ago.” Denise replied as Daisy raced into the dining room.
By the time Edith had finished arranging the rooms to her satisfaction, AJ had finished the dishes and was getting the dogs on leashes to take them for a walk. When Edith returned to a clean dining room and kitchen she smacked AJ around the head with a roll of paper towels.
“What matter with you? Is my job! My job! You take my job! Why you have me! Why don’t you fire me! Tu no necessitas mi! Niguna necessita Edith! Niguna quiere!”
“I love you Edith!” AJ said sheepishly, and giving her a hug.
“Oh fine, estupido, pallasjo! No more!” She said hitting him one more time with the towels.
“I’m taking the dogs for a walk, keep Win company for me.” AJ said before heading outside.
“Win, I take you upstairs, to you and Seinor’s room.” Edith said reentering the dining room.
“Thank you Edith, dinner was delicious.” Win said climbing out of her chair.

Once upstairs, Win really got to see how large the house was. The halls were gigantic, and everything was beautifully decorated. Edith led her along the hall, all the way to the end with a giant bedroom overlooking the back yard garden. There was a giant patio with double doors attached, and Win could just glimpse a pool.
A king-sized bed was in the corner, angled out so both sides were accessible. It was a white room, with soft plush gray carpeting and black accessories. Some framed watercolors accented the walls here and there. But other than that, the room was empty. Win noticed Jack’s cage on the side table. It was freshly scrubbed, with new food and water, and he was nibbling on a large peanut shell.
“You didn’t have to clean him out Edith, that’s my job.” Win laughed taking a moment to pet her rat.
“Is no trouble. He a very nice rata.” Edith replied smiling.
Edith led Win around the room, showing her where she had stowed her clothes and bags, where the bathroom was and then the patio.
“Seinor had this built when he moved in. Very nice. Pretty view.” Edith said pointing towards the garden and the pool. She noticed a small house set along the side of the property as well.
“Is that yours?” Win asked.
“Yes, Seinor very nice boss, he had built for me and me family.” Edith replied.
“Oh are you married?” Win asked as Edith helped her to a chair on the patio.
“Me no married. Solo me and me hija. She four year old now.”
“Wonderful. What is her name?”
“Latecia. Very good girl, she like Seinor mucho.”
“I’d like to meet her.” Win said smiling.
“She so much trouble sometime. I don’t bother you with her.”
“Oh, I like kids. She’ll be no bother to me.”
“Tomorrow, I bring her to meet you. Is okay?”
“Of course. How long does AJ usually take the dogs out for?”
“Seinor knows no time with perros. Some time one hour, other time two. Some time all day.” Edith replied. Denise knocked on the patio door.
“Hi Denise.” Win said.
“Hola chicas, would you mind if I borrowed Edith for a minute?” she asked.
“Oh no, go ahead, you two must have loads to talk about, I can’t keep up.” Win replied sincerely.
“Nice to talk to you Senorita,” Edith said politely getting up.
“Win, just Win.”
“Okay, Win, good night.”
“Thank you!” Win called after Denise and Edith.

Win liked Edith and Denise both very much, but she was glad for a quiet moment to think to herself. Every once in a while she liked to stop and take inventory of what she had. Especially now since she had so much to be thankful for. She had her friends, her job, and now a new family, AJ and Denise. She had Jack, her rat. She had her health, although she was a little beat up, but she could be worse, and she had money to be independent with. She also had AJ’s promise.
Thinking on this she looked down at her hand and looked at the word on her finger. Serenity. Its message was well received now, she was in serenity. She had a calm about her now. An irresistible calm and sweetness that came with it. Absolute serenity is where she was right now. The quiet, the stillness that came with a real love. She felt it enveloping her as much as AJ’s arms did when he held her. She was so lucky.

AJ jogged around the corner, the dogs in front of him as he spotted his favorite bench. The dogs knew where he wanted to go and ran towards it, pulling him along. He plopped down on it, Daisy and Serenity jumping up onto the bench beside him, everyone panting from their run.
“Oh boy. It’s been a while since I did that. You guys are gonna have to keep me in shape.” AJ panted as Tank laid his head in his lap.
“So what do you guys think of Win huh?” he asked ruffling up Tank’s ears. Daisy yipped twice in answer.
“Really now?” AJ asked petting her as well.
“That good huh? What about you Tank?” Tank batted his nose into his arm several times in rapid succession. Serenity barked as well.
“I guess it’s unanimous! Cause guess what guys, I kinda like her too. I think she’s going to be sticking around for a while too.” The dogs all appeared to be smiling at him. Serenity barked three times and AJ turned to her.
“What are you saying?” he asked playfully. She nipped at his finger. This time it hurt.
“Ouch, what was that for?” he asked. He realized the finger she bit was the one usually protected by his ring.
“Oh, yeah, I gave her the ring. So, what’s it to you?” he asked the dog. She bit the finger again.
“Ouch! Now that really hurt! Cut it out!” AJ said pulling his hand away from the dog.
“I got to get another ring, I forgot about the game you like to play, bite daddy’s finger off.” He said shaking his head. Then something hit him.
“Get another ring. That’s exactly what I have to do. But I don’t know, what do you guys think?” AJ asked, looking at his dogs for an answer. They all just stared at him.
“Oh a load of help you lot are. Get me thinking about things and then don’t answer me, that helps a lot. Oh and just for that bite, no treat for you Serenity.” AJ said petting her on the head. She growled playfully and hopped down off the bench, Daisy following her.
“Yeah, might as well go home. I don’t have to think about it right now.” AJ said as he stood up. He and the dogs jogged all the way home. Upon entering the house, AJ let the dogs loose and went to the kitchen to fill their water bowls. While there he lit up a cigarette and was on his way upstairs when Edith spotted him.
“No smoke in house! Bad for you! No more smoke! You want to smoke! You smoke outside! Not in house!” she yelled chasing him outdoors with the roll of paper towels again.
“Hey, it’ my house, I can smoke in it if I want to!” AJ protested.
“Yes, but I have to make house not smell like smoke, and is not nice. Is bad for you. Stop smoking! Ahora!” Win heard Edith shouting and got up to look over the balcony edge. AJ was standing outside smoking while Edith lectured him on smoking. She laughed.
“I thought I told you to stop that!” Win called. AJ looked up and smiled at Win.
“I’m tapering off!” he called, and Edith smacked him again.
“Pallajaso! No more smoke!” She pulled the cigarette out of his hand and disappeared into the house with it.
“I guess I’m done, I’ll be right up beautiful!” AJ called with a smile.

Part II Chapter 50

AJ woke up in the middle of the night to Win thrashing around in bed, crying. He woke her gently, and she sat up against the headboard, holding her heart, catching her breath.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I dreamt about it. About being raped again. I heard him again, walking up behind me, and I couldn’t get up. I just couldn’t get up.” Win said closing her eyes, her breathing finally returning to normal.
“It’s okay, there’s no one to hurt you here. You’re safe.” AJ said pulling Win into his arms.
“I haven’t had that dream in years.” Win said as AJ rocked her back and forth. He cringed, feeling guilty, as he had made her tell him what happened, bringing it up again and making her think about it for the first time in years.
“I’m all right, really, I’m okay.” Win said looking up at AJ.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah, lets just go back to sleep.” She said.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” AJ said slipping out of bed. Win hunkered down in the pillows and closed her eyes. AJ grabbed his cigarettes and lighter from the side table and tiptoed to the patio.
“If you are going to smoke, forget about coming back to this bed.” Win said. AJ turned around and found himself looking at the back of Win’s head.
“Damn, she’d good.” He said to himself, as he walked back to bed, forgetting the cigarette. He slipped back into bed, gently putting his hands on Win so as not to hit her bruises, and felt her body relax next to him. She took his hand, gently laying on her hip and pulled it under her arm, pressing his fingers to her lips.
“I love you AJ.” She whispered.
“I love you too Win.” He replied nuzzling into her shoulder, and thinking to himself, he had more than he deserved from this wonderful woman lying next to him. He resolved to quit smoking and throw out his cigarettes in the morning.

“Mister AJ! Mister AJ!” a small voice called. AJ sat up shaking his head.
“Mister AJ! Mister AJ!” the door flew open and a little girl careened into the room and jumped up onto the bed.
“Mister AJ is home!” she squealed happily, crawling onto AJ’s lap.
“Oh, Latecia, hey baby, how are you?” he asked with a yawn. Win sat up, smiling when she saw the little girl. She was very sweet, bright brown eyes, black hair, and skin much lighter than her mother’s.
“Who are you?” Latecia asked brightly as AJ kissed the top of her head.
“Latecia, this is Winifred, Win, this is Latecia. The cutest little girl in all of Florida.” AJ said tickling her. She giggled and laughed.
“Leti! Leti! Donde esta!” They heard being called from the hall.
“She’s in here Edith!” AJ called. Edith dashed in.
“Leti, bad girl, you don’t do this!” Edith said going to grab Latecia off of AJ’s lap.
“Oh she’s fine Edith. It’s a nice way to wake up.” Win said smiling.
“She shouldn’t bother you.” Edith said embarrassed.
“Mommy, mister AJ and his friend are nice, they like me.” Latecia said with a smile.
“You spoil her!” Edith said shaking a finger at AJ.
“I can spoil her as much as I want.” AJ said tickling her again.
“Leti, come on, I make breakfast now.” Edith said holding out her arms to pick up her child.
“No, I want to stay with Mister AJ and Winniefredie!” Latecia whined.
“We can watch her Edith.” Win offered.
“Seguro?” she asked AJ.
“Yes Edith, she’ll be fine! I can watch a four-year-old for a while. I’m starting to think you think I’m incapable of doing anything!” AJ said making Edith laugh.
“Pallajaso!” Edith said giving him a little push.
“Go on! Get out of here! You’ll have most of your daughter by the time you come back.” AJ said earning him a smack from Edith.
“Be good Leti!” Edith warned on her way out the room.
“Hey Leti, go in the closet and grab that red backpack.” AJ whispered in her ear.
“Okay!” Leti giggled and leapt off the bed careening towards the closet. She pulled the door open with some difficulty and dragged out AJ’s red backpack. She pulled it over to the bed and AJ helped her place it on the bed.
“Now open it.” He said. Latecia unzipped the bag and squealed with glee.
“Ooh, Egypt Barbie!” she said pulling the pink and white box out of the bag.
“Is she the right one?” AJ asked smiling.
“Yeah! See, says right here, Egyptian Princess. She’s so pretty. You look just like her, Winniefredie!” Latecia said crawling over to Win, sitting between her and AJ. She held out the doll to show Win.
“That is very nice Latecia. You can read that?” Win asked surprised.
“Uh huh, Mister AJ taught me! He’s a good teacher!” Latecia replied.
“I was teaching her mother English and she just sort of picked it up. She’s amazing.” AJ said glowing. Win smiled. Latecia looked from AJ to Win and smiled.
“Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?” she asked with a grin.
“Yes Leti, we are,” AJ laughed.
“Why don’t you have a baby?” she asked. Win laughed.
“Because sweet heart, we’re not married.”
“Mommy’s not married, and she had me. She says you don’t have to be married to have babies.” Latecia said knowingly.
“My goodness you are smart for a little girl!” Win exclaimed.
“I am four and a half! Thank you! I am not a little girl!” Latecia said proudly.
“You have baby for Mister AJ, then he be happy all the time!” Latecia said and both AJ and Win burst out laughing.
When Win finally stopped laughing she asked,
“Now where did you hear that?”
“From Mister AJ! He said, he wants a little girl, just like me, so he has a reason to smile and be happy. Cause Mister AJ always sad when he comes home. I have to make him laugh, see?” She asked blowing out her cheeks, sticking out her tongue and crossing her eyes.
“Now isn’t that a face to love?” he asked pushing her cheeks in as Latecia made a popping noise.
“See, I have to make him smile. But you make him smile too!” Latecia said pointing at Win.
“Yes, she does. Why don’t you look in the bag again?” he said. They spent the rest of the morning watching Latecia play with her presents AJ had brought her. She was an adorable child and Win found out it was not unreasonable for AJ to be so fatherly to her, considering that Latecia’s real father was probably out of the picture.
“Did you get your postcards?” AJ asked.
“Yeah! All forty three of them!” Latecia said happily.
“Forty three? You must have sent them like every other day.” Win said surprised.
“I get them to show you!” Latecia said jumping up and off the bed, running as fast as she did before.
“That is so cute! You are so adorable, it’s like she’s your daughter!” Win said laughing.
“She’s too sweet, I love sending her postcards, she loves to collect them. She doesn’t get to travel, and she likes to get things from other places. That’s why she likes those Barbie dolls, the international ones, I started her collection of them. She’s never opened them. She has these shelves all the way around her room so she can see all of them.” AJ said with enthusiasm.
“You like this kid thing, don’t you?” Win asked.
“I guess so, I just like doing things for her. She appreciates it so much, and from what Edith tells me, her real father, one of her ex-boyfriends, hasn’t had anything to do with Latecia, he didn’t want her. Edith also appreciates me doing things for her. I mean all that kid has to do, is look at me with those big brown eyes, and I’m wrapped around her little finger.” AJ said dreamily.
“You want your own kids, don’t you?” Win asked.
“I’m going to be honest with you, yes, I want my own kids. But I don’t want you to think you have to have kids for me. I mean, we haven’t even talked about any of that yet. We don’t have to right now any way.” AJ said as Win kissed him on the cheek.
“Well we have to sit down and talk about it soon then. Cause I think I may want kids of my own too.” Win replied. AJ looked at her with wide eyes.
“You mean it?” he asked excited.
“Yes, but not right now. I want to finish the tour, go to school, and get settled. But we’ll talk about this later.” Win said as Latecia flew back into the room with her collection of postcards to show Win.

Part II Chapter 51

A while later Edith returned to tell them that breakfast was ready and take Latecia so they could get dressed.
“Thank you Mister AJ!” Latecia called as she carried her new treasures out of the room.
“I’ll be right down sweetie, and you’re welcome!” AJ called as Edith shut the door of the bedroom.
“Uh, what a cute kid.” Win said smiling.
“Yeah, she tends to grow on you.” AJ replied getting up and going to the closet to get some clothes. Win got up as well and changed out of her bedclothes before she and AJ went downstairs to breakfast, meeting Denise in the hall.
“Now you carry her down those stairs AJ, don’t you dare let her walk.” Denise warned. AJ was already in the process of leaning down to pick her up when she said this.
“What do you think I’m doing, down here then? Some new exercise program?” he asked, as he picked Win up in his arms.
“That’s better.” Denise said with a laugh. AJ shook his head and carried Win down to the dining room. Edith had already set out the food and the dogs were fretting around the table, waiting for scraps.
Edith and Latecia came out and sat down to eat with everyone, Latecia taking a seat between Win and AJ. It was a lovely morning, everyone enjoying the other’s company.
“Would you two mind watching Leti today while Edith and I go shopping?” Denise asked.
“What? Oh, sure no problem, is that okay with you Win?” AJ asked.
“Yeah, that’d be great!” Win replied with a giant smile.
“YEAH! I get to spend the day with Mister AJ and Winniefredie!” Latecia bubbled. AJ laughed.
“Now that is enthusiasm.” Win said looking at Latecia.
“Seguro?” Edith asked AJ.
“Yes Edith.” AJ said rolling his eyes.

A little while later, after the breakfast dishes had been cleared, and Edith and Denise were ready to go out, Edith spoke to her daughter.
“You be good for mister AJ, don’t run away, you stay with him and his friend, okay? You listen to him, and be careful, no more running!” Edith warned.
“Yes mommy,” Latecia said after each warning. Edith gave her a kiss and they were gone.
“So what do you want to do today?” AJ asked Latecia.
“Swimming!” Latecia said excitedly.
“Okay, go get your swim suit!” AJ said. Latecia ran out to her house and AJ went upstairs to change into his swim trunks.
Win went out to the backyard to get Latecia when she was done changing and walk her over to the pool. AJ was downstairs again before Latecia was out of her house and he went inside to fetch her. He emerged carrying her on his shoulders, her legs flung over his neck and her hands wrapped around his head.
“You okay to walk?” he asked Win.
“Oh I’m fine, its just a little stiff is all, it doesn’t hurt anymore.” Win replied taking the towels from AJ. They walked through the garden to the pool area, AJ bouncing Latecia up and down once in a while to make her laugh.
Win spent the afternoon watching AJ and Latecia frolic around in the pool. AJ was so good with her. Win could just see him with his own kids, two or three maybe. Fooling around, laughing and joking with them. Holidays with the entire family. Christmases, Thanksgiving, parties, birthdays, nighttime feedings, holding a baby, singing to it, school plays, parent teacher meetings, baseball games, dance recitals, school graduations.
“Wohoo, Win, are you there?” AJ asked waving his hand in front of her face.
“Huh? Oh yeah.” She said shaking her head and waking up from her daydream.
“We’re gonna go get some ice cream for lunch.” AJ said sitting down in one of the lounge chairs and using the towel to dry Latecia off.
“Ice cream for lunch?” Win asked.
“Yeah, strawberry ice cream, shh, don’t tell mommy!” Latecia and AJ whispered at the same time putting a finger up to their lips. Win laughed heartily.
AJ and Latecia changed and loaded up into his car. Latecia’s favorite ice cream palor was not too far away, and it was quite evident as to why it was her favorite. It was a giant Victorian house that looked quite out of place among the rest of the restaurants and shops along the block. The sign out front read, “Mayen Poppers International Ice Cream Bazaar, Ice Cream Flavors From All Over The World!”
“They have ice cream from all over the world!” Latecia said pointing at the sign.
“Come on sweetie,” AJ said picking her up and holding her on his hip.
“Would you look at you, you’re a natural.” Win said patting his back.
“I like to think so.”
Win stood back and watched AJ and Latecia order their ice cream. He held her like she was his own child, and happily so as if he would want nothing more in the world.
“Lets see, a dish of peppermint, for Win and for the little liver here,” Latecia mimicked his words again and they said together, “Two dishes of Albuquerque Strawberry Lime.” This was so cute that even the cashier was laughing.
They sat down in the Australia room, decorated with Kangaroo chairs and fake eucalyptus trees. Win ate quietly just watching Latecia and AJ.
“You have ice cream on your mustache!” Latecia laughed.
“I do!” AJ said surprised. He made big to do, wiping it off making Latecia giggle.
“Now did I get it all?” he asked leaning down to her level.
“Nope, you have some there!” Latecia said pointing to a spot on his cheek that was clean.
“Uh oh, then you better get that one.” AJ said turning his face and tapping his cheek. Latecia stood up and held onto the sides of his head and gave him a loud sloppy kiss on his cheek.
“Ew, that was a wet kiss!” AJ said laughing and wiping off his cheek. Win was laughing too.
“You missed a spot,” Win said.
“Oh, so you want in on this too. Where did I miss a spot?” he said raising an eyebrow.
“Right there!” Latecia said pointing to his lips.
“Well Win better take care of that then, shouldn’t she?” AJ asked Latecia. She folded her hands behind her back and nodded her head smiling. Win leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly.
“Did I get it all?” she asked.
“No, I think you missed some of it.” AJ replied giving her a little deeper kiss.
“Ewww! That’s a wet kiss!” Latecia squealed. The other people in the room were all watching them curiously with smiles on their faces.
“No this is a wet kiss!” AJ said picking up Latecia in his lap and blowing a raspberry on her cheek. She giggled and tried to get away.
“Nope, I want one more kiss.” He said. She gave him another kiss.
“You have a scratchy face Mister AJ!” Latecia said rubbing his whiskers.
“Yeah, I know. But Winniefredie doesn’t mind, do you?” AJ asked patting Latecia on the head.
“No, I kind of like it.” Win said touching his face.
“Come on little liver, eat up, so we can get home before your mommy does. We can make her dinner.” AJ said putting Latecia back on her chair.
“Little liver?” Win asked.
“It means heart. In Spanish the seat of love is the liver. Her mother taught me that.” AJ replied.
“Wow. That’s really interesting.” Win asked.
“Yeah, I taught her English, she taught me Spanish. Latecia, has been my little liver, ever since she was four and half months old, isn’t that right baby?” AJ asked Latecia who was finished with her ice cream.
“Yup, and he’s my big liver!” Latecia said smiling. AJ laughed.
“Now that just sounds weird.” He said.
“Come on, let’s go make some dinner.”

Part II Chapter 52

They returned home around three o’clock and made preparations for dinner, a pork roast, with seasoned rice and peas, glazed carrots, salad, and baked bread. Win offered to help but AJ insisted he work alone and Latecia would be his designated helper. Win however stayed in the kitchen to help in case Latecia got out of hand, and just so she could talk and be near AJ.
“So how was it that you met Edith again?” Win asked as AJ was setting the temperature on the oven. He’d put Latecia at the counter with the jobs of shelling peas, snapping carrots and tearing lettuce.
“I met Edith before I went into, well you know, like my mom said, she’s the daughter of a friend of hers. The Montoyas, really nice people they live not too far down the road from my mom.”
“Oh okay.” Win nodded.
“I bought the house not long after I got out, probably four or five months later. Then my mom told me that Edith needed a job, she’d just had Latecia here, about two months before.”
“Does she know who the father is?” Win asked quietly.
“Yeah, his name is Robert Baily, he used to be another friend of the family too, but once he heard about Edith, he booked. Did not want anything to do with her. He and Edith had gone out for oh, about three years I think. He had just finished getting a business started, then his backer dropped him, and he was not about to take care of a baby and Edith. Besides, he didn’t think she was his anyways.”
“That’s horrible, just up and leaving her like that.” Win said disgusted.
“Yeah, I know. My mom was helping her out then, cause Edith’s mother couldn’t afford to keep Edith and her baby. Edith was working part time, but she couldn’t cover her expenses.”
“So when did she start working here?” Win asked.
“I bought the house in April, that was right around Latecia’s birthday of that year. I needed someone to run the house, I mean because, hell, I can afford it, and it’s big house. After about two months, of not finding anyone, my mom suggested Edith. She needed a job, and a place to live.”
“Poor Edith, I can’t imagine having a baby to have to take care of as well.”
“Yeah, I wanted her to have her own house, so she could feel secure, but it took so long to have built that I just had her move in here for a while. The only thing was, we really didn’t understand each other too much. She only spoke Spanish, and I didn’t know any Spanish at all.”
“How did you manage?” Win asked.
“It was hard at first, especially with her needing help with Latecia, and she had to learn English, so I ended up spending a lot of time with her. It took my mind off rehab and all my problems. A baby and a housekeeper that doesn’t speak English, tends to do that.”
“But I thought you two were friends before?” Win asked.
“No, actually we weren’t. She was just another of my mom’s friends, and especially since she didn’t speak English we didn’t talk. I’m mean, it’s not like we didn’t get along, it’s just that we couldn’t, we didn’t understand each other.”
“It seems like you two are really close now though.” Win asked.
“Yup. While she did her work I kept an eye on baby here, so much so that when Edith didn’t need my help anymore, little Latecia would fallow me around the house anyways. But it’s been worth it, I must say.” AJ said looking at Latecia with admiration.
“Her father was white, I’m assuming? Since Leti here is so much lighter than her mother.” Win asked.
“Yeah, he worked with a lot of Spanish people in a packing plant for a while. He could speak fluent Spanish. That’s why he and Edith were together, if he didn’t understand her, he wouldn’t have wasted the time.”
“What happened to him then?” Win asked.
“Like I said, his business prospects dropped out and he was broke. When Edith told him, he bolted. Denied it was his kid and split. That was the last anyone heard from him.”
AJ cooked like he was a gourmet chef for another two hours. Win set the table with help from Latecia. Denise and Edith arrived home half an hour later, just as AJ was putting the food on the table.
“What smells good?” Edith asked as Latecia ran out to her mother.
“Mommy! AJ cooked lots of good food and I helped!” Latecia said as Edith scooped her up in her arms.
“He did he? Well, we better go eat it then!” Dinner was a success. The food was great and the company even better. Edith refused to allow AJ or anyone else do the dishes as Win and AJ had watched Latecia all day, so Denise helped clear the table. Win listened to them speaking in rapid Spanish as the water ran in the sink for dishes. AJ was on the floor playing with Latecia and his dogs, and Win couldn’t help but smile. But there was something of a doubt in the back of her mind as well. There was something going on, that she just could not put her finger on.

Part II Chapter 53

Soon enough Latecia was tired and fell asleep on the floor with the dogs. AJ her carried to her house in the back and Edith said goodnight and thank you to Win and AJ for watching Latecia. Denise said good night and excused herself to bed.
“Soooooo, what do you want to do?” AJ asked with a grin on his face. It was later in the evening now. They were sitting in the cavernous living room. Win on the couch, AJ was still on the floor, the dogs crowding around him.
“Honestly, I’d like to go to bed. I am exhausted.” Win replied standing up. AJ got up too. He still hadn’t taken the dogs out.
“I’ll help you upstairs, then I’m going to take the dogs out for a run around the block. Then, maybe, we can try again?” he asked.
“Maybe,” Win replied smiling.
“Maybe I’ll skip the walk with the dogs and just take you upstairs.” AJ moving closer to her.
“Oh, you naughty boy you!” Win said playfully smacking him.
“Come here.” He said grabbing a hold of a belt loop on her hip and pulling her close. He took her in his arms, kissing her deeply. Without breaking the kiss he swept her legs up in his arm and started up the stairs.
He broke away long enough to get up the stairs and then push the door closed to their room with his foot. He put Win down on the bed and crawled next to her as her fingers fumbled on the zipper of his shirt. It finally opened and he threw it off as he crawled back on the bed, pulling Win into his lap. She straddled his hips, feeling his excitement, drawing her even closer to him as she ran her hands over his chest, feeling the hardness of his muscles.
His hands were touching every piece of her exposed flesh that he could find. He lay his head back against the headboard as Win kissed and nibbled down his neck. The wait was driving him crazy, but he didn’t want this feeling to end.
Sliding his hands up her sides he pulled her shirt over her head. He arched his pelvis as Win hit a particular sensitive spot on his neck and she gasped as he growled. Her nails pressed into lower back and they both slunk lower on the bed, sliding under the comforter. Win pulled at the button on his pants and together they removed first his jeans then hers, their passion taking over the night.

1:00 AM the clock glared into Win’s eyes when she opened them later that night. The bed was empty when she sat up. Rubbing her eyes to clear them up, she saw a familiar form silouetted against the blue sky, leaning over the railing, a trail of smoke extending from the lips.
Win got up and went to the closet, getting out a sweatshirt and slipping it on. She padded to the door and opened it, walking out on the patio.
“Hey baby, what are you doing up?” AJ asked a little worried.
“I couldn’t sleep.” She replied stopping within a foot of him, watching him smoking his cigarette. He looked at her with his head cocked to one side, a slight smile on his face.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“AJ, this is going to sound stupid, but I want to know. It’s been bothering me for a while.” Win said with her arms crossed. AJ held his head up.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Now it’s okay if its true, and if it is, I’ll stand back no problems and just let you two be together.” Win said quickly.
“What are talking about Win?”
“You and Edith. Were you in love with her, are you in love with her now?” Win asked. AJ relaxed and leaned back against the railing again. He laughed slightly.
“No Win, I was never in love with her, and I’m not in love with her.” AJ replied.
“It’s not funny AJ. You’re down there, playing like daddy as if you’ve been married to her or something.” Win said, surprising even herself. She’d never been jealous like this before, and she didn’t like the taste it left in her mouth.
“Win, I am not in love with her, in fact, she’s inviting her fiance over tomorrow for dinner.” AJ replied.
“That does not account for anything.” Win replied, she didn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.
“Yes it does, considering he’s a member of my family, and I would not do that to him. Secondly, you should know me enough by now. I would not do that to you. And since when have you been so jealous? I mean, I have girls throwing themselves at me, stuffing phone numbers in my pockets, and you never give it a second thought.” AJ replied a little annoyed.
“Yeah, because you weren’t throwing yourself back.”
“Edith and I are just friends. Yeah, so we’re close, that’s because we’re friends. Nothing has happened between us. We could never be more than friends. Trust me Win, we’re around each other longer than a few weeks, we start fighting like cats and dogs.”
“It’s just kind of funny how you avoid telling me things like this. I’ve been with you almost six months, and not once did you tell me about Edith, or Latecia, or your house, your dogs. Why do you not tell me anything about your life, you sit back and make me guess! You think that by talking about me all the time, and just asking me about my life that you’ll just glaze over the things you are uncomfortable with!”
“I am not avoiding telling you anything, it just never came up!” AJ said indignantly.
“What about rehab? What about your grandmother? What about mistakes you’ve made, the bad things that have happened? You have not told me anything! I know more about Kevin, and Nick or Howie, Daemon, or Gina, than I know about you!” Win didn’t bother keeping her voice down.
“Because I don’t want to talk about those things! I mean do you just enjoy talking about the shit that happened to you! Do you like telling all those horror stories you had to go through! No, and I don’t either!” AJ shouted back.
“Considering the fact, that you have a lot more good than bad, you’ve never told me the good part! I have had a hard life, yes, and no, it’s not easy talking about, but it gets easier, and it’s better to talk about it. And when you talk about things you hurt about, you tell that person you trust them. I trust you AJ, no it was not easy talking about the things I’ve told you, but I trust you!”
“It doesn’t seem like it to me! I told you Edith and I are nothing but friends and you don’t believe me! So why should I trust you!”
“You don’t trust me? After all the shit we’ve been through, and you can’t trust me, to tell me why you can’t talk about your grandmother, or even that you have three dogs? I don’t know what I did wrong, but if you can’t trust me, fine. You don’t have to tell me anything anymore.” Win stormed back into the room and grabbed the rest of her clothes. She threw them on, grabbed her back pack and Jack’s cage and walked out of the room.
“Dammit!” AJ yelled hitting the railing. This hurt and he cursed again, turning around and rubbing his hand. He took a slow shaking drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out. He shook his head, looking out over the yard. A light turned on in Edith’s kitchen. He heard the door open and saw her step out in her robe.
She looked around for a moment and then looked up.
“Seinor? Todo esta bien?”
“Huh, oh yeah, everything is fine Edith, go back to sleep.” AJ replied waving her away.
“Are you okay?” Edith asked.
“No, but don’t worry about it.” AJ said, again waving at her to go back in her house. But she didn’t. She walked across the yard and dissappeared under the balcony. He heard the kitchen door opening and closing behind her. A few minutes later Edith emerged on the patio beside him.
“Que pasa?” she asked.
“Nada.” AJ replied.
“AJ, you can talk to me, esta bien. I saw Winifred in kitchen, on el telephono. What happened?” Edith said putting a hand on his back.
“We had a fight. I told her I didn’t trust her, she ran out of here.” AJ said as Edith rubbed his back.
“What you do to your hand?” she asked picking up his slowly bruising fingers.
“I punched the railing.” AJ replied.
“Oh, you poor baby.” Edith said and kissed the fingers. He wished it were Win up here with him instead. He loved Edith, as a friend, but he loved Win so much more than that, why couldn’t she see that?
“I’ll go get you some ice.” Edith said patting his back.
“Thanks.” AJ replied. Edith left the room and quickly returned to the kitchen. Win was just getting off the phone. She picked up her bag and rat cage and clamored out of the kitchen when she saw Edith.
“Where are you going?” Edith asked.
“No where.” Edith went towards her and Win just turned and went to the door. Edith watched her walk out. Win waited on the stoop for a minute before a cab pulled up and she climbed in and sped away into the dark.
Edith went back to the kitchen, got the ice and returned to AJ’s room. He stood still as she held the ice in place, instantly soothing his sore fingers.
“Do you like her?” Edith asked.
“Very much Edith, I love her.” AJ replied. He motioned to the table and they sat down, Edith scooting her chair closer to his, to hold the ice on his hand.
“Then how come you don’t trust her?” Edith asked gently.
“I don’t know. I don’t trust many people anymore.” AJ replied. His cigarette went out and he threw it in the ash tray. He pulled another one out of the pack and lit it.
“What does she want from you that you can’t tell her about?” Edith asked, taking off the ice pack and looking at his fingers. It was a bright night with a full moon and abundunt stars. It was as if they were sitting in the sunlight.
“She wants me to tell her anything. I honestly have not told her that much about me or my life. The first time she ever heard about you, or Latecia, was when she met you.” AJ replied, slightly wincing as she reapplied the ice to his hand.
“Oh AJ, she’s your girlfriend, you have to tell her things! You can’t just say nada! She trusts you, right?” Edith asked.
“Yes she does, well she did, till tonight.” AJ replied shaking his head.
“Why, what happened?”
“She thinks that I’m in love with you.” AJ replied looking down at Edith’s face.
“In love with me? AJ, you’re kidding right?” Edith asked.
“No. She thinks that we’re too close.” AJ replied.
“AJ, isn’t this what happened with your last novia?” Edith asked.
“Partly. Damn, how did I let this happen?” AJ asked sitting back.
“It happens, boys cannot have girls as friends, and girlfriends get jealous.”
“I should go talk to her.” AJ replied thoughtfully.
“You can’t, she’s not here.”
“What?” AJ asked pulling his hand back abruptly.
“She left, in a cab.” Edith replied.
“Where did she go?”
“She didn’t say.” Edith replied.
“Aw man, what the hell am I going to do?” Edith put a hand on his leg and patted it gently. He put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. Edith stroked his hair.
“It will be all right.” She cooed.
“I really messed this up.” He said shaking his head.
“If she really loves you, she’ll understand.” Edith replied.
“No one understands me like you, Edith.” AJ said sitting up, her hand still resting on his shoulder.
“Why is that?” she asked.
“It’s just so easy to talk to you, you know so much about me. I don’t have to say anything, cause you already know.”
“Why can’t you do that with Win? She loves you, and you love her. I can see that, why can’t you.” Edith asking holding his face.
He stared at her, looking into her eyes, wondering what was beyond them, but without a word she replied to his unspoken question and her lips pressed against his. He closed his eyes, reaching out to her face, touching it, kissing it. He breathed deeply, pulling in her scent, spices, jasmine, and salt. The kiss lasted until AJ felt a trickle of water running over his hand from the ice pack Edith was still holding to his hand.
Edith pulled herself away first. AJ looked into her eyes, stroked the side of her head and sighed. He kissed her again, one last time and then sat back.
“I’m sorry AJ. I am.”
“I am too. I’ve got to go find her.” AJ said standing up. Edith stood as well and walked with him downstairs to the kitchen.
“Good night, AJ.” Edith said lingering in the door to the back yard.
“Good night Edith.” AJ replied, watching her close the door and walk back to her lit house. AJ turned and grabbed the phone, and saw his mother standing in the door.

Part II Chapter 54

Twenty minutes away Win stood on the front step of Nick and Howie’s duplex. It looked as though there was a party going on upstairs and it took a few minutes before someone answered the door.
“Win! What are you doing here?” Nick asked surprised, inviting her in.
“Can we go some place quiet?” Win asked as the music blared around them.
“Yeah sure, here, give me your bag.” Nick said taking her backpack. He took her upstairs and led her to his bedroom and closed the door. The music was deadened to a dull thumping on the walls, but at least now Win could hear herself think.
“What happened?” Nick asked worried. Win was crying, something she avoided at all costs.
“We had a fight. A really big one.” Win replied.
“What about?”
“Edith.” That’s all Win had to say. Nick nodded in understanding.
“He didn’t tell you about her, did he?”
“Nope.”
“And he’s over there, playing house with her and Latecia, his surrogate daughter, and expects you to not notice.”
“How did you?” Win asked confused.
“How do you think his last girlfriend reacted? She lasted a lot less time than you did. He still doesn’t get it.” Nick replied.
“What I don’t get is why he can talk to her, but he can’t talk to me. He told me, that he doesn’t trust me.” Nick shook his head.
“What he needs to do, is get his head, out of his ass, and stop this playing around. Win, it’s not you that’s messed up. It’s AJ. You did nothing wrong, and don’t think that you did.”
“I did though, if I didn’t say anything,”
“If you hadn’t said anything, AJ wouldn’t know that what he is doing in wrong. It is possible to have a girlfriend and girls who are friends, I’ve done it before. He just doesn’t get the boundaries he has to draw. He should have told you about her, he should make it very clear that she is the friend, and you the girlfriend.” Nick explained.
“I love him so much. I really do. I’ve never had a reason not to trust him, until now. And if he doesn’t trust me, what’s the point?” Win asked.
“I don’t know Win.” Nick replied sitting down next to her, he hated seeing her cry.
“He said, they were close because he spent a lot of time with her, when he came right out of rehab, you know, taking care of Latecia and everything. Said she took his minds off his problems.” Win said. Nick nodded.
“Yeah, that was a vulnerable time for him for sure, and it’s no doubt that they did get close.” Nick replied.
“I don’t know what to do now.” Win said. There was a knock at the door. Nick answered it.
“Hey man, look, AJ just called looking for Win, he said they had a fight and she, oh hey Win,” Howie said once he saw Win sitting on the bed beside Nick.
“Hang on a second, I’ll talk to him, just keep her company.” Nick said taking the phone and going down the hall to the bathroom.
“Hello?”
“Hey Nick, is Win there, I’m really worried about her, I tried Brian, and he hasn’t seen her, and the hotel, she’s not there.”
“She’s here AJ.”
“Oh thank god, I’ll be right over to talk to her.”
“I don’t think so AJ.”
“Why not?”
“Don’t you get it yet man?”
“Get what?”
“You’re too busy playing house again to notice you have a girlfriend.”
“I am not!”
“Yeah, then why did Win show up on my doorstep a few minutes ago?”
“Because she’s mad at me, I said I didn’t trust her and,”
“Why can’t you trust her?”
“Because, I can’t not yet.”
“What, does she have to spell her entire life story out for you? And if you’re screwing around with that woman again!”
“I never screwed around with Edith!”
“What happened tonight AJ? Did Edith come and comfort you, as usual?” the line was quiet.
“AJ, if you weren’t sure about Win, why did you rush into it with her?”
“I love Winifred! Don’t you dare say that I don’t!”
“If you loved her, you wouldn’t have done this to her. Now if you don’t tell her tomorrow, I’ll tell her for you, and it’s going to sound a whole lot worse coming from me!” Nick shut off the phone and slammed it down on the counter.
“How can he be so stupid!” he said aloud to himself.

Part II Chapter 55

“I heard you and Win arguing and woke up. I waited a little while, and then I saw that display out on the patio, and you know which one I am talking about.” Denise said, leaning in the doorway, her arms crossed.
“Mom, I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did.” AJ pleaded, but his mother’s face remained stony.
“I don’t think I have ever been this disappointed in you in my entire life. AJ, how could you do this to Winifred! Don’t you care about her?”
“Of course I do, it was just a mistake!” AJ said panicked.
“You have been so irresponsible it makes me sick! You better find her and you better tell her what happened! You hope to god she understands, and forgives you and makes you pay for what you have done!” Denise turned on her heel and marched back upstairs. AJ shook his head and grabbed the phone.
She wasn’t anywhere he called. Finally he remembered Nick and Howie. He dialed the number and got Howie. He didn’t know anything, so he went to find Nick.
Never in his life did Nick ever talk to him like he did now. Deep down he knew Nick was right, but he just did not want to admit it. He wouldn’t let him talk to Win and hung up before he could say anything else. If he wanted to salvage anything with Win he had to break it off completely with Edith.
Walking out the kitchen door he knocked on Edith’s door and she answered quickly.
“What is it AJ?” she asked.
“Edith, we both know what happened up there was wrong, and we both know that we cannot be together.”
“AJ, I have something to tell you, I don’t think you’re going to be too happy about it either.” Edith replied.
“What’s that?”
“Robert is not Latecia’s father.”

"You want something to eat?" Nick asked as he reentered the room.
"Huh? Oh, no thanks. Was that AJ?" Win asked distantly. Howie was sitting on the bed next to her.
"Yeah, he wanted to talk to you."
"Is he still on the phone?" She asked worriedly, her eyes wide and stricken.
"No, I hung up on him. He needs to talk to you in person, he'll see you at the studio tomorrow when we start recording." Nick replied sitting down on his bed and watching her. She had stopped crying, only waiting now for the final blow to strike.
"Look, you can stay here as long as you want. Why don't Nick and I clear out the party, we'll go downstairs, listen to some music and just veg, you just relax." Howie said getting up.
"Okay." Win replied, nervously chewing on her nails. Nick looked at her sitting on the bed, hunched over, nervous looking, pathetic, broken, scared, he wasn't looking at the Winifred he knew anymore. AJ had hurt her deeply, he had never seen Win look so down trodden. He would make up for AJ had done, no matter what it took.
Howie pulled him back to reality and made him leave the room to get the people out of the house. It took the better part of an hour to get everyone to leave and when Nick returned to the room, Win had not moved. It took a little prodding to get her to come downstairs, but she finally did it.
Howie was in the kitchen scrambling eggs and frying potatoes. The smell of burnt toast was in the air and Howie popped up the toaster to empty its contents. Nick and the silent Win sat down at the counter. Howie placed a plate of eggs, home fries and toast in front of her with a fork. He leaned down on the counter and looked at Win's face.
"Come on, have something to eat, you'll feel better." Howie said going to the refrigerator.
"I doubt it." Win replied.
"Oh come on. Like my mom says, if you don't eat anything when you are sick, you'll have nothing to throw up later when you are sick. It always feels worse when you feel like throwing up and you've got nothing to vomit." This made her laugh.
"See, I knew I could do it." Howie said pouring some juice for her. Timidly she picked up the fork and ate some of the eggs and potatoes.
"Good?" Howie asked. She nodded.
"Although the image of throwing it up later does take the enjoyment out of it a little." Win replied with a small laugh. Howie dished some eggs for Nick and himself and then stood at the counter eating. The only sounds for a few minutes were the clinking of plates and forks.
"What are you going to do Win?" Nick asked.
"I don't know. I love him, I do. And he must really be hurting himself." Win replied.
"Don't try to defend him Win." Howie said skeptically looking at Win.
"So I should just give him up?"
"That’s not for me to say.” Howie replied.
"He is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I love him, I'm not just gonna throw that away because I'm jealous of his friend!" Win said angrily.
"Why are you settling for him? There are plenty of other guys out there that would die to be with you." Nick asked.
"Don't you get it Nick? He is the best I can get. A former drug addict, a homeless drug addict, with a famous, talented guy like him? It's an oxymoron right there. I'm lucky to have him." Win replied.
"No Win, I'm talking about people actual people, and how they act. Not their pasts and their roots or their social status. I'm talking about how people treat one another. And if he can’t trust you, then, he’s not good enough for you." Howie said, putting his dish in the sink. She nodded her head, a few tears falling out of her eyes.
“You’re right.”
Howie made a motion with his head towards the stairs. Nick nodded and said,
"Come on, you can stay in my room, I'll sleep on the couch." Win got up and followed Nick to the stairs, she turned and said,
“Thanks for listening.”

Part II Chapter 56

In the morning Nick and Howie took Win to the recording studio to start work on the song. Kevin met them and Brian showed not long after. Clive and Dennis also showed, and AJ was last to show up. He approached Win cautiously and with looks of daggers from Nick and Howie.
"Can we go outside and talk?" he asked.
"Fine." Win said getting up.
"We got to get started, hurry up!" Dennis called to their retreating backs.
Outside Win walked to the front of the building and turned to face AJ. She folded her arms and waited. When he didn't say anything she decided to say something.
“What do you want to talk about?” she asked. He wouldn't look her in the eye.
“I have something to tell you, something that happened last night, after you left.” AJ said looking at the ground.
“What happened?” Win asked.
“She heard us fighting, and she came upstairs, to talk. I didn’t mean for it to happen, you have to believe me.” AJ said desperately.
“What didn’t you mean to happen?” Win asked confused. AJ shrugged his shoulders and bounced from one foot to the other.
“I was angry, and I was upset, and I didn’t want it to happen, but,” AJ stammered.
“What, AJ,” Win said getting thoroughly annoyed.
"I kissed her." He replied.
"You did what?”
“I kissed Edith, I knew that it was wrong, and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want it to happen.” AJ said coming towards her.
“Get away from me!” she yelled.
“Win, please, I am so sorry. I love you so much.”
“And you can't trust me? How long has this been going on?" Win said annoyed.
"Win, it's not like that."
"Then tell me what it's like! Make me understand!" Win was past all pretenses that she was in any way at fault for what had transgressed the previous night. Her tears fell out angrily and burned her cheeks.
“That’s not all of it Win. Before I went into rehab a bunch of our family and friends had gone out, and I got really smashed. When I woke up the next morning, she was in my bed. We agreed to forget about it."
"So you had a one night stand with her as well?" Win asked. He nodded, still looking at the ground.
"And there’s something else.”
“What else could there possibly be?” Win asked crying freely now.
“That one night stand, that was the night Latecia was conceived. She’s my daughter." Win felt her world crumbling around her. She remained quiet for a long time, just trying to feel again, trying to remember how only a few days ago she had been happy.
"What do you expect me to say?" she asked after a while. He took a few steps towards her.
"Win, I love you. I don't know how much, or how long it will take me to make it up to you, for what I did. But I want to prove to you, that I love you. I know I hurt you, and I will do anything to fix it." He stepped closer to her, reaching out a hand to touch her but she yanked out of his reach.
"How the hell am I supposed to trust you! Wasn’t it just the other day that you got on your knees and promised me that you would never let anyone hurt me, that you, would never hurt me? Wasn’t it you, who gave me this ring, as your promise to me that you were going to take care of me!" she shouted.
"I don't know. Win, I meant everything I said. I didn’t intend to hurt you, from the bottom of my heart I didn’t intend for it to be this way!" He said, his eyes full of tears. He touched her arm and she smacked at his hand, but he wouldn't let go. She kept trying to push him away, but he wouldn't let go.
“A hell a lot your intent means! To hell with what anyone’s intent is! What happens is what matters AJ! Seeing Red’s intent meant nothing until it happened. Your promise meant nothing until you couldn’t go through with it!” Win shouted, continuing to pull away from him, smacking his hands away from her arms.
"Please don't push me away, I know I deserve it, but please, give me a second chance!" he pleaded.
"Get off of me!" she screamed as he fell to his knees and clung to her waist.
"Just let me go!" she yelled trying to pry his arms off of her. AJ just held onto her, crying. She continued to try and push him away, but he wouldn’t let go of her. She shook her head and felt her hands entangle themselves in his hair.
“Why’d you have to do this?” she asked closing her eyes, “Why did you have to do this?”

Later, after AJ and Win had returned, to a load of questioning looks, they recorded a bit of the song. It took a while to get the song the way Clive wanted it, and it was obvious that they were not going to get any further today, so they departed. Out in the parking lot, Nick gave Win a look. She told AJ to go wait in his car.
“So are you two back together?” he asked looking away.
“Somewhat, not that we were ever really apart. We’re making some ground rules before I agree to go any farther.” Win replied picking at her nails.
“What did he tell you?” Nick asked looking at her.
“That he kissed her, last night. And that he had a one-night stand with her before he went in to rehab. And, he’s Latecia’s father.” Win replied awkwardly.
“He’s actually Latecia’s real father?” Nick asked with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah, he is.”
“Win, don’t go back with him. He’ll do it again. If Edith is still around, which she will be, she’s the mother of his child for christ’s sake. He won’t have a reason to be loyal to you, he won’t have a reason to open up to you.” Nick said with worried face.
“Nick, I know you don’t understand, but I want to work it out with him. Is your offer to stay at your place still open?” Win asked biting her lip.
“Of course it is, you can come stay with me when ever you want.” Nick replied running his fingers through his hair.
“Thank you so much Nick, this really means a lot to me. You’ve been such a help.” Win said smiling.
“Win, please, don’t go with him.” Nick pleaded.
“Thank you Nick,” Win said again and pecked him on the cheek before running back to AJ’s car and getting inside. Nick stood by the car and watched them pull out of the parking lot. Howie came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“They working it out I see.” He said.
“He’s just going to do it to her again. He’s only going to break her heart.”
“Her heart, or yours man? Give it up, if she wants to be with him, she’ll be with him.” Howie said patting his shoulder and getting in the car.

Part III Chapter 57

When they arrived at the house, Win went inside and up to their room immediately and waited for AJ. He came up quickly and closed the door behind him. He went to her, trying to give her a hug but she stepped away.
“Sit down, we need to talk first.” She said very business like. He sat on the bed and she pulled a chair in front of him and sat.
“There are going to be some rules. First off, you now have a daughter that you have to take care of. And her mother happens to be the woman you also kissed, while you were supposed to be involved with me. Because of Latecia, I agree that the best thing for her is to live here with her father, not that it’s in my capacity to make that decision, it is just my opinion, I would not ask you to choose between me and your daughter. However, I will ask you to choose between me and Edith. Either you can be close with her, or me. You want me, you have to start telling me about your life.” AJ nodded in agreement.
“Second rule. We will go back to dating. I will not be living here so I expect you to be the doting boyfriend. You will ask me out, you will make phone calls, you will pick me up, take me out, and drop me back off home. I will stay with Howie and Nick.” AJ nodded again.
“Third, there will be no touching, no kissing, no sex, period until I feel I can trust you, which may be a long time away.” Again AJ nodded.
“And fourth, we can see other people.” Win said, but this time AJ didn’t nod.
“What, you want to go out with other guys?” he asked abashed.
“AJ, I want to see what else is out there. I think it’s a reasonable request. This way you can decide if you want to be with me or Edith, and you can have time to do it.”
“And you can decide whether or not you want to be with me! Win, this is a no brainer, I want to be with you!”
“You do not want to be with me otherwise you wouldn’t have feelings for Edith, which is evident since you kissed her. AJ, if this doesn’t work out, I want options. I think we rushed into this way too fast. This way it can be casual.”
“No way Win, absolutely not. I will not agree with you going out with other guys.” AJ said standing up.
“That’s too bad, because you don’t have a choice. I’m going to get the rest of my things, then I’m going to ask Nick if he’ll come pick me up.” Win said standing up and going to the closet.
“Win, I don’t want to do this. Why can’t we just try this again. I know I screwed up.” AJ said coming over to the closet.
“AJ, you can’t trust me, I cannot trust you. What kind of relationship do you think that is?”
“One that needs us to be together to figure it out! Win, please don’t go!”
“I will not change my mind. If you don’t mind I’d like to pack my things alone.” Win replied with a resolute face. AJ stood there defeated.
“Okay, fine, I’ll leave you alone.” He left the room and slammed the door behind him.

After Win packed her things she called Nick and he agreed to pick her up. Twenty minutes later he had pulled up in the driveway and knocked on the door. Edith let him in and he ignored her on his way to see Win.
“Hey, there you are, can you help me with this bag?” Win asked when she saw Nick.
“So you’re really going through with it?” Nick asked picking up the bag she indicated.
“Yeah, I am. I told him he needs to be the perfect boyfriend before I think about coming back here. And we agreed to see other people. Actually, I said we were going to see other people and he didn’t like it.” Win replied.
“You’re really gonna let him see other people?” Nick asked as they walked down the stairs.
“Yeah, I am. That way he can figure out what he wants, and I can figure out what I want.” Win replied opening the front door. AJ emerged out of the kitchen and watched her.
“Win, I’m begging you, please don’t go!” he asked in a pleading tone.
“AJ, you’re just going to have to come to terms with what you’ve done. You’ve no one to blame but yourself. I was not the one who kissed someone else. Good bye, call me if you want to, but there is no pressure to.” Win strode out the door to Nick’s car and disappeared from sight. Nick stood in the door watching AJ.
“You lay one finger on her, and I’ll kill you.” AJ said focusing his steely gaze on Nick.
“It’s not me you have to worry about. Temptation’s kind of hard to resist when it lives in the backyard, isn’t it?” Nick asked.
“Just because she says we can see other people, doesn’t mean I’m okay with it. So you stay away from her.” AJ replied, clenching his bruised fist.
“AJ, I am warning you, you hurt that girl one more time, and I will personally see to it that you never do it again.” Nick said with narrowed eyes.
“You’re threatening me?”
“You sure as hell believe it. I stood by and watched you ruin Catherine’s life, cause one she was an awful person and two, I didn’t think I could stand up to you. But this time I’ve had enough, and Win does not deserve to be treated this way. So you just keep massaging your knuckles, cause if you want to come after me, I won’t back down this time.” Nick walked out slamming the door behind him.
Win was waiting in the passenger seat when Nick returned to his car and put her bag in the back seat. He got in, started the car and pulled out, AJ in the window watching them all the while.
“So what do you have planned for tonight? It seems like you and Howie live the swinging singles lifestyle.” Win asked with a laugh.
“Oh, last night,” Nick chuckled, “Yeah once in a while we invite our friends from around here and have a little party.”
“Too bad you had to clear it out for me.” Win said.
“Don’t worry about it, you were a worthy cause to break up a party.” Nick smiled.
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
“So is Howie’s girlfriend coming to stay with him?”
“Oh, Rene, from Reno, ha ha, yes, she is coming for a week and a half I believe, on next Wednesday. She’s an okay person, a little whiny though, Howie tends to go for that type of girl.”
“I didn’t think they were his type.”
“Neither did I.” Nick replied laughing.
“So what about you, any girlfriend I should be aware of?” Win asked.
“Me? Oh, no. I haven’t had a date, in a long time. Too busy.” Nick replied hastily.
“Please. How can you not have time? That um, what’s her name, Ally, the new stage woman, she likes you, and I know you like her.” Win replied.
“She’s not my type.” Nick replied.
“What do you mean she’s not your type? She’s tall, blond, and has big boobs, I thought that was every guy’s type.” Nick burst out laughing.
“That’s definitely not my type.” Nick replied.
“What about that girl a while back, that hotel heiress, what the hell is her name?” Win asked trying to remember her name.
“Paris Hilton. Yeah, that’s a trip I wouldn’t want to take again, you want to talk about whiny.” Win laughed.
“So what is your type then?”
“Um, she has to be some one who can hold her own, independent like, but willing to take help when she needs it. She has to have a sense of humor, be outdoorsy, and wants to have fun.” Nick said uneasily.
“That’s it? She doesn’t have to be a certain height, hair color or anything?” Win asked laughing.
“No, we’re long past that phase. I just want someone who will care about me, just for me, not the money. A person I can take home to my family and know she’ll be happy to go.”
“So in other words you want a normal person?” Win asked.
“I guess you could say that.”
“So that’s really your type? Hum, I’m sure Ally would fit in there somewhere,” Win replied thoughtfully.
“Honestly? I’m looking for a girl, like you.” Nick said nervously.
“Like me? Really?” Win asked surprised.
“I’m gonna be honest, I’ve always regretted not asking you out before AJ did. It goes to show, the forward one gets the girl.” Nick said sheepishly.
“Well, he doesn’t have me now, and I can see other people,” Win said looking at him.
“Yeah but,” Nick started.
“What? Nick, if you want to ask me out, do it now, otherwise, knowing you, the little bit that I do, you won’t get your nerve again.” AJ’s warning echoed in his head. But he liked Win, and she was offering him a chance to get to know her better.
He reasoned with himself. Either he could turn down this opportunity with a girl he really liked, always liked since he met her, and had stolen right out from under his nose because he hadn’t acted first.
Then again this was his friend’s girlfriend and he had told him specifically no to make a move on her. But Nick wasn’t the one who hurt her.
“Nick, hello, are you awake?” Win asked.
“Huh, oh, I was just thinking is all.”
“You looked a little dazed and confused.”
“Yeah, well, I made a decision.”
“As to what?” Win asked, not really sure what he was talking about.
“Well, I was just kind of wondering, maybe you’d like to have lunch with me on Friday? I mean if you’re not busy or anything.” Nick said rubbing the back of his neck.
“What? Oh, sure, of course.” Win said smiling.
“Cool.” Nick said blushing. He was unable to keep a large smile from spreading across his face.

Part III Chapter 58

That evening Win unpacked her things in the guestroom upstairs. Nick hadn’t stopped smiling since he got home.
“What’s that look on your face?” Howie asked suspiciously when Nick wandered into the living room.
“Nothing.” Nick replied unconvincingly. Howie gave him another look and said,
“What happened at AJ’s?”
“She told him they needed time apart, and that she thought they should see other people. He tried to get her to stay, but she wouldn’t.” Nick replied sitting down on the couch.
“You didn’t do what I think you did, did you?” Howie asked sitting up.
“Didn’t do what?”
“Oh man! You know he will kill you! Why are you going to make this more complicated!” Howie said throwing his arms over his head.
“Howie, in case you didn’t realize, it’s already complicated. AJ’s screwing around on her and she doesn’t want to give him up. Maybe being with me, she’ll see what she deserves.”
“It’s none of your business what goes on between them!” Howie said annoyed.
“When she shows up on my doorstep at two in the morning, crying, it certainly is my business. It’s also my business because she is my friend and I care about her.”
“So do I, but you’ve got to know when to step back and let her make her own decisions.”
“Excuse me, but I think I made my decision very clear. And Nick is right. The second I showed up here on his doorstep, and invited him into the problem, it became his business, and I understand that. But I don’t remember asking you for your opinion on anything, and you did not offer any condolences. So stay out of it.” Win said angrily. Howie put his hands up in defeat and walked away.
“I’m not in it.” He said on his way out.
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Win asked with a smile.
“You want to go for a walk?” Nick asked.
“Sure, that’d be nice.” Win replied as the phone rang in the other room. Howie picked it up.
“Win, it’s AJ!” Howie called coming into the living room.
“What, already?” Win said shaking her head as she took the phone.
“Hello?” she said walking out to the kitchen for some privacy.
“Win, hey baby, I miss you. When are you coming back?” AJ asked.
“AJ, you already know that.”
“But Win, I’m no good alone. I need you back here with me.”
“I am not going to come back AJ, not until I can trust you.”
“I need you Win, my heart hurts so much without you.”
“Don’t start that lovey dovey crap AJ, it’s not going to work! Now you made a mess, now clean it up! I’m not going to pretend that I’m okay with this! You kissed another woman! I should have just moved on and forgotten you, I’m giving you a chance that you don’t deserve! And considering the fact that the woman you kissed lives in your backyard, along with your daughter, I am being very generous.”
“There is nothing between us, I swear. I was just weak, I didn’t want it to happen.” AJ pleaded.
“AJ, go take care of your daughter, she needs her father now.” Win said coldly.
“Well at least let me ask you out, like I’m supposed to.”
“All right.”
“Well, would you go out with me on Friday?”
“Sorry, I’ve already got plans.”
“Already? Who are you going out with?” AJ asked annoyed.
“None of your business.”
“Win, I want to know who you are going out with, I have a right to know!”
“You lost that right when you kissed someone else.”
“I deserve to know who is stealing my girlfriend away from me!”
“No, you don’t, now do you want to ask me out or not?”
“Just tell me!”
“Nope, and if your finished yelling at me, I’m hanging up.”
“Wait! I’m sorry baby, I’m just so, angry, with myself. You’re right, you’re right, I brought this on myself, I deserve it. You think I could take you to a movie on Saturday night?” AJ asked with a simper.
“All right.” Win replied.
“Okay, I’ll pick you up at seven?” he asked.
“Sure, I’ll be ready. Goodbye AJ.” Win replied.
“I love you beautiful.” Win hung up the phone before saying anything else.

“So what on earth could you possibly see in me, to agree to go out with me?” Nick asked as they walked along the beach.
“I’m going to be honest with you, I liked you too when I met you, but AJ made the first move. What I like about you though, is that you are shy. You don’t just throw yourself up front. AJ is harsher, sometimes too forward.”
“Do you think you two will end up back together?” Nick asked.
“I don’t know. I just know that I need to see what it’s like without him. We got really serious, really fast. We didn’t get a chance to be friends first.”
“It’s usually better to be friends first.”
“Mm. Nick, I know this isn’t fair to you. And I just want to make it perfectly clear. I’m not breaking it off with AJ, not yet. And I’m going to be seeing him. If you don’t want to be in this, you just let me know, at any time. I’m not going to be stupid and think that I’m going to have it all.”
“Win, I know you are going to see AJ, and I know you want this to be casual, but I like you, and I want a chance to get to know you better. Even if we are nothing more than friends, I’ll be happy with that. I won’t be ecstatic but I’ll be happy.” Nick replied.
“You are such a sweet heart Nick. You really are.” Win replied smiling.
“Thank you. But Win, I mean it, even if nothing becomes of this, I’m going to be happy that I got to spend more time with you. It’s not your fault that this happened.”
“Nick, I’m going to tell you something else, but you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.”
“I swear.”
“Once I stop trusting a person, I usually don’t trust them again. I have my doubts about going back with AJ at all. I never thought he could lie to me like that.”
“What do you mean he lied to you?”
“The other day, he promised me he would never hurt me, he’d always protect me. And then, well, you know what happened. He even gave me his ring.” Win said showing Nick the ring.
“Doesn’t look like either of you have much serenity now.” Nick replied.
“I know.”
“If you don’t trust him, why are you giving him another chance? If you don’t mind me asking.” He added quickly.
“I love him. I really do. I don’t know if I can just walk away yet. I have to at least try, for a little while. After that, I’ll know whether I can forgive him. But not until I try it.” Nick nodded.
“If it’s any consolation I don’t think he intended to hurt you.” Nick replied.
“Intentions don’t mean a whole hell of a lot to me anymore.” Win replied stopping and looking out at the ocean.
“They used to.” Nick said looking at her.
“That was before. What matters to me now is what actually happens. He may not have wanted to kiss her, but he did. He may not have wanted to hurt me, but he did.” She continued to stare out at the water and felt her heart starting to break.
“I thought, I finally thought that after all the shit I’d been through I’d finally found someone that cares enough about me. God, I wonder sometimes, if I’ll ever find out why this all happened.” Win said wiping away her tears.
“Why was I thrown away, why was I raped, why was I out on the streets?” Win said.
“You were raped?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, when I was eighteen. I thought I finally found someone who understood, who wouldn’t hurt me. God, I was so stupid.” Win said kicking a divot in the sand.
“You are not stupid Win. You did not know he was going to do this to you. And you couldn’t have known either.” Nick put his arms around her and pulled him to his chest letting her cry it out.

Part III Chapter 59

The rest of the song was recorded without trouble. Between the guys schedule of concerts and appearances it took two weeks to record the entire song and edit it.
Win’s lunch with Nick was uneventful except for the fact that she stopped worrying about AJ. She enjoyed herself immensely, it was great talking with Nick, about something besides AJ and the tour.
Her date with AJ was a different story entirely. AJ showed up early, picked a fight with Nick, yelled at Howie for no reason at all, and ended up in another fight with Win. By the time he had convinced her to go out with him, they had missed the movie and she was in no mood to talk to him. Finally she agreed to go out to coffee with him. But that was a bad idea as any. He tried to hold her hand in the coffee shop and made a scene in front of a crowd when she pulled her hand away.
When she got back to the house, she got out of the car before it had fully stopped and went directly inside.
Over the two weeks it took to record the song, Nick and Win went out on seven, official dates. He was always so sweet to her, always listening, but also always talking to her. It was nice getting to hear so much about him, his life, his family. He never even so much as pretended to accidentally brush his arm against hers, or try to hold her hand.
Once, when they were out for dinner, his foot bumped up against hers. Immediately he pulled it back, apologizing and blushing profusely.
Dating AJ turned out to be a lot harder than just being with him. When he wasn’t begging her to come back to him, he was making rude comments about the other guy she was dating. She was getting fed up with him very fast. He still wouldn’t open up to her at all and his recent bitterness was annoying. She was glad at the end of the two weeks when he told her that he had asked out another girl he had met a few days ago. She was pretty sure it was just to make her jealous, despite the fact that she didn’t feel anything but happy and relieved that AJ had finally taken to heart one of the things she had said.
In reality Win doubted her decision to try it again with him. She was looking for a way to move away from him, slowly, gently, without hurting his feelings or his pride. She thought her efforts with him were fruitless. She felt like he was closing up even more.
AJ wanted to be with Win but he couldn’t get himself to talk to her. It was a constant fight between opening up and closing down. He wanted to talk to her and get her to trust him again. He knew he had hurt her, but he resented her for putting a limit on their relationship and wanting him to bring up all those painful memories again. If she really loved him she wouldn’t want to make him relive that again.

On the last week of their Miami visit, Brian invited everyone to his and Brianna’s house for dinner in honor of completing the song. Because they lived so far away, AJ offered to drive Win so that he could have a chance to be alone with her. But she had already agreed to ride with Nick, Howie, and his girlfriend Rene that was staying with them. When Win said she wouldn’t go with him, he said he would invite his new girl to the party instead.
News that Win and Nick were dating had gone no farther than Howie. No one had told Kevin and Brian, although both were aware Win had been dating someone else. They however had avoided bringing the subject up to Win, because they agreed that it was none of their business. And considering the mood AJ was in, it was a better idea not to discuss what was going on. AJ didn’t know for a fact that Nick had been dating Win, but he had an inkling, and was constantly pushing Nick to get him to admit it.

Nick knew it would not be smart to fall in love with Win now. She was still attached to AJ, and there was always the possibility that she would go back to him. But he couldn’t help it. Not only was she the perfect woman by his standards. She was smart, independent, ambitious, funny, great fun to be with, interesting and interested, talented, humble, honest, the list went on.
So far he’d been able to resist temptation. He had dreamed of kissing Win since they had met six months ago. He had resisted the temptation just to take her hand while they were walking or sitting on the couch watching movies. He had resisted reaching out and stroking her mud-colored hair as it fell over her shoulders when she fell asleep on the couch or when she tossed it over her shoulder to keep it out of her face. But now that he was so close to her he couldn’t keep his thoughts free of her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her all the time. He knew it was wrong, he’d have to just keep his heart in check before he got hurt himself.

Dinner was wonderful. Win spent most of the evening carrying baby Winifred around and talking with Brian, Brianna, Kevin and Tessa. AJ lurked in the corner, his arm around his new girl he had brought with him to make Win jealous. When he introduced this new girl, Tiffany, to Win he called her his girlfriend, and Win his friend. Win was gracious and smiled when she met Tiffany, much to AJ’s dismay. To this he asked,
“So where’s the mystery man Win?”
“Oh, busy is all.” Win replied with a gentle smile. Tiffany was actually a nice girl, and had Win not been dating Nick, she might have been jealous.
“Win, could you give me a hand with the baby?” Brianna asked putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Oh yeah.” Win replied and followed Brianna upstairs to the baby’s room. Brianna allowed Win in first and then closed the door behind her. Win went to the crib and looked down at the baby smiling.
“She’s so beautiful Brianna.” Win said with a smile.
“Thank you Win. She’s such a good baby too. But Win, what I really wanted you to come up here for, I wanted to talk to you.” Brianna said.
“About what?”
“You and AJ. I know that you are dating Nick.” Win stood up and looked at her.
“How did you know?”
“It’s just a little obvious sweetie.” Brianna said touching her arm. She motioned to the chairs by the window and Win took a seat. Brianna went to the crib and picked up baby Winifred before taking a seat.
“What’s the matter Brianna?” Win asked.
“Win, I heard what AJ did, and I sympathize with you. But you need to break it off. Now, before he thinks that he has a chance.” Brianna said rocking the baby in her arms.
“I know I’ve taken advantage of Nick, and he’s been sweeter to me than I deserve.” Win replied.
“No, not Nick sweetie, AJ. It’s time you made it clear that you are not going back to him.” Brianna replied.
“Oh. I know. It was dumb to try and save it anyway.” Win replied shaking her head.
“I know you love him honey, and I know it’s hard. Once I thought Brian had cheated on me, and it broke us up for a long time.”
“Brian cheated on you?” Win asked surprised.
“No he didn’t, a girl we were both friends with said that Brian and her had slept together. I didn’t know whether to believe her or not. All three of us had been friends for a very long time. Brian swore up and down that he never had anything to do with her. But I didn’t believe him.”
“Well you two got back together, what happened?”
“Eventually the story got figured out. She was trying to break the two of us up so she could date Brian, she admitted she lied. Even though nothing happened between them, I still can’t trust him sometimes. I know he wouldn’t do anything, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying.” Brianna replied.
“I couldn’t go through this again. Not knowing what happened or not. I can’t trust him, not anymore. And if I can’t trust him, what kind of relationship can it be?”
“That’s not called a relationship then sweet heart. It’s called a travesty. He’ll be mad for a while, but he’ll get over it. He has to, he has a daughter he has to take care of now.”
“You are right Brianna. I was afraid to admit it. I still love him even now. Not with the intensity I once felt of course. But I guess you can never forget when you love a person, and I don’t think you ever really do stop loving them entirely. There’s always a piece of you that will love them forever.” Win said thoughtfully as she looked out the window. Nick was helping Brian set up the table on the lawn for dinner. She smiled to herself as she looked at Nick. She had to admit, she wanted to be with Nick, not AJ, and her feelings for him were not nearly as strong as they had once been.
As she watched Brian walk to the house, Nick remaining and putting up folding chairs leaning against the tree she noticed another person walk out onto the lawn. It was AJ and he walked casually over to Nick who looked up as he saw AJ approach.
Brianna gave Win a sidelong glance but she did not see it since her gaze was intent on the two men below. AJ gestured to Nick to leave the chairs and talk to him. AJ was quite calm it seemed. Just talking to Nick and then Win saw it. AJ clenched his fist. His finger shot in the air accusingly at Nick, then he pushed him. Nick held up his hands in defense, trying to talk him down.
“Oh shit!” Win exclaimed jumping up from the chair and dashing out of the room. As she ran down the stairs she called to Kevin to help her.
She burst out the door to the yard running towards Nick and AJ who were now grappling arm to arm.
“Come on big man! You’re not afraid of me then prove it!” AJ yelled as he threw Nick to the ground. Nick popped back up, not daring to turn his back on him.
“I am not fighting you man! This is not the way to handle this!” Nick yelled as AJ dove at him, clipping his jaw.
“Knock it off!” Win screamed launching herself between them, knocking AJ off balance and forcing him back. Nick fell back on the ground holding his jaw.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Win yelled pushing AJ back when he tried to go towards Nick again.
“So it has been him you’ve been screwing around with!”
“I have not been screwing around with anyone. And you do not have the right go beating up Nick!” Win shouted back. Kevin emerged on the scene and asked.
“What is going on?”
“None of your damn business Kevin!” AJ yelled.
“Knock it off!” Win shouted pushing AJ back.
“What the hell are you doing with him Win? Huh? Why are you doing this to me?” AJ asked.
“What I do no longer concerns you. And you want to talk about doing things, I didn’t kiss someone else. I didn’t hurt you half as much as you hurt me. AJ, we’re through. I don’t know you anymore. I never imagined you could hit someone. So here, take your ring and go.” Win said pulling the ring off her finger and putting it in his hand.
“But Win, please,” AJ said begging.
“No, I will not change my mind. This is no way to resolve anything AJ, I can’t be with a man who acts like this. Forget it.” Win turned and helped Nick off of the ground.
“Win look out!” Win turned around, and got in the way of AJ’s fist, as he aimed for Nick. Her eyes went black and her nose felt as if it were on fire. Blood blossomed down her face and hands. She heard a jumble of voices as she tried to open her eyes but they were swimming with color. She felt her legs fall out from under her and she was lifted up into someone’s arms.
“Brian, you know where the hospital is?” She heard Nick ask from far away. Slowly things were coming into sharper focus.
“Yeah, get in the car, I’ll be right there.” Brian called.
The next thing she remembered was sitting in a doctor’s office and having her nose painfully set. Nick was in the waiting room with Brian, pacing back and forth.
“I can’t believe he did that! I should have pulled her out of the way, at least he would have hit me!” Nick said angrily.
“Nick, no one knew he was going to dive back at you.” Brian replied.
“Oh, it’s all my fault, I knew he would go crazy when he found out I was dating Win. I knew it and I went through with it anyway. Now Win’s hurt again. I’m so stupid!” Nick said throwing himself into a chair.
“You’ve actually been dating her?” Brian asked surprised.
“Yeah, I have. I was too stupid to realize what would happen. God, what the hell have I done?” Nick asked rubbing his forehead.
“I’m not going to say anything Nick, you know what you’ve done. But if you care about Win, you’ll take care of her. And if she means that much to you, you’ll do anything for her. And it will be worth it.”
“I know, I do care about her. I just shouldn’t have gotten into this in the first place.”
“You can’t change that now. Just take care of her.” Brian replied. A few minutes later Win emerged from the emergency room, her nose covered with a bandage. Nick jumped and went to her.
“How is it?” Nick asked.
“Broken. But the doctor said it will be better in a few weeks.”
“I am so sorry Win, this is all my fault.” Nick said.
“No, it’s not all your fault. I agreed to this too. I just never thought he’d hit anyone.” Win replied.
“I know, I know. Come on, let’s go home.” Nick said putting his arm around her shoulder.

Part III Chapter 60

When Clive found out what was going on he called a meeting.
“This is absolutely unacceptable! You two, fighting over this girl, and now, you friggen idiot, you break her nose, a week before the video shoot, and bruise up Nick as well.” Clive said to AJ. He sat keeping his stare away from everyone. After he had hit Win, AJ had left the party without taking Tiffany and disappeared for two days. Edith and Denise had called around for two days frantic with worry when he finally showed up, very shaken up, ragged and dirty. After that he locked himself in his room and did not emerge until Clive called him and told him to come to the meeting before he was kicked off the tour.
They would have to leave for Virginia in one day. They had four concert nights in a row at four different venues. The US tour was quickly coming to a close and the concerts that had been rescheduled had not left much leeway for anything. They had two months left before the tour was over, and they still had the video shoot to do. They got off November first, and were expected back on tour December twenty first, the first concert being the day after Christmas. They would meet in France. So now the schedule had to be tight, things could not be rescheduled, let alone cancelled or pushed back.
Four days had been scheduled in between shows to film the video, everything was planned to the very hour on the days. All Clive could do was switch the guys’ days off closer to the end of the month with the video shooting days to give Win’s nose time to heal.
The next day, at noon, the bus arrived at Howie and Nick’s duplex to pick them and Win up. They were already packed and they got on the bus ready for the trip. When the bus got to AJ’s house he was waiting outside, Latecia clinging to him and crying.
“I’ll be home soon sweetie, don’t cry baby.” AJ said painfully as Latecia cried into his shoulder.
“Look, I talked to your mommy and you’re gonna come see me for a whole week on tour.” AJ replied holding his little girl up and looking into her teary eyes.
“You promise?” she asked wiping some of her tears away.
“From the bottom of my heart baby girl.” AJ replied looking at her.
“Pinky swear?” she asked sniffling. AJ held out his pinky and she locked her finger with his.
“I pinky swear on it.” He smiled at her.
“I love you daddy!” Latecia said flinging her arms around her neck. AJ closed his eyes when he heard her call him daddy, and he felt a few tears building in his eyes as well as he hugged her. Edith came up and pulled Latecia away.
AJ stood up and looked at Edith holding his daughter.
“You need anything at all, you call me, okay?” AJ asked. Edith nodded.
“And you baby girl, you call me, any time, day or night.” AJ said touching Latecia. She nodded her head, still crying silent tears.
“Well, I guess that’s it.” AJ said looking at his daughter, wishing he could take her with him now.
“Here,” Edith said holding out a photo album to AJ, “I’ve been adding to it since she was born, for you.” AJ flipped open the first page and saw him holding Latecia when she was just two months old. He smiled.
“Thank you so much Edith. For everything, especially for Latecia.”
“It’s nothing AJ, really. Go on, Denise will be in Pennsylvania with Latecia next month. You’re going to be late.” AJ gave them both a hug, and Latecia a final kiss before climbing on the bus and not looking back as it pulled away.
AJ waked directly past Win, Nick, and Kevin sitting at the kitchen table and climbed into his bunk. He shoved his bag at the foot of his bed, pressed himself as far as he could into the corner and felt his heart tearing in half as his sobs ripped from his chest, muffled by the pillow.

Later that night, well after midnight, Win emerged from her bunk to get a drink and saw AJ at the table looking through a photo album, it was the first time he’d come out of his bunk since he arrived.
“Mind if I join you?” she asked. He looked up and her and said,
“If you want to.” Grabbing her drink Win sat down opposite of him. Her nose was still bandaged and looked much worse than it was.
“Win, I am so sorry.” He said without looking at her.
“I know.” Win replied.
“No, I mean it. I was wrong to hit Nick, I was wrong to hit you. And there is no excuse for any of it, or for kissing Edith either. Win I know you won’t take me back, and I know I deserve it. I just want you to know that I realize what I did was wrong. And from the bottom of my heart, I hope you know that I will always love you and always appreciate what you did for me.” AJ kept his stare away from Win, his hands in his lap.
“Thank you AJ.” Win replied.
“Of all the bad things that came out of this, you still brought something good into my life. Even though you didn’t want kids, you gave me one, you gave me Latecia. I can never thank you enough for that.” AJ said finally looking up at her.
“She always was your daughter, you always treated her like she was your daughter, and now, you got your wish, she is your daughter.” Win replied smiling.
“Yeah, she is, just look at that,” AJ said turning the album to show her a picture of AJ holding Latecia on his shoulders, she was holding her hands over his eyes, but he was laughing as was she.
“You two are adorable together, the perfect couple.” Win replied.
“I think you are right. I think I’ve had enough relationships for a while, I think I’m just going to focus on Latecia for a while.” AJ replied turning the album back to him.
“That could be a good idea, if I could believe it,” Win replied with a smile. AJ looked up her and shook his head.
“I’ve been so awful to you. How can you sit here with me, so calm and, and caring?” he asked.
“AJ you are not an evil person. You are not a bad person either. I know that, I’ve loved you, I still love you, and I part of me always will, no matter what. You just reacted bad, that’s all, we’re all guilty of that sometimes.” Win replied.
“You continue to amaze me Winifred. After everything that I’ve done to you, after all that’s happened to you, you just give back, love, and understanding, no matter what.” AJ said sitting back and looking at her. Win just shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him.
“Oh come here,” he said getting up and pulling her out of the booth to hug her tightly.
“Thank you, for everything.” He said squeezing her tight.
“No problem.” He let her go and sat down at the album again.
“I got to tell you something AJ.”
“What’s that?” he asked carefully.
“I lied about something too. Remember the night that you and the guys went out to that comedy club, and I stayed home sick?” Win asked.
“Yeah, what about it,” he said looking at her skeptically.
“That Freddie Louis girl you liked so much, you’re looking at her.” A smile crept across AJ’s face as his shook his head.
“I should have known. Just do me one favor Win,” AJ said grabbing her hand.
“What’s that?”
“If it doesn’t work out between you and Nick, and not saying that it won’t, just stay away from Howie.” Win laughed heartily and nodded her head.
“I promise AJ, I really promise.”

Part III Chapter 61

“First and foremost. You two are married, so you know better. And Brianna and Tessa do not think for one second, that I wanted to do this with them. To me, a married man is attractive as a slug, no offense guys.” Win said laughing.
“None taken, you withered up old hag you.” Kevin replied coolly, his arm around Tessa.
“Good, keep that in mind.” Win said laughing along with Brianna and Tessa.
“Next, to all of you guys, keep your eyes on my face, and your hands off the merchandise. Hands are regulated to the back, shoulders and arms. I feel any grabby hands, it’ll be a good whack in the sunshine pack, if you catch my drift.” Win said.
“Read you loud and clear Win!” Howie said raising a hand.
“Next, keep your tongue to yourself, it is supposed to look like a makeout session, not be one.” She said allowing this last rule sink in.
“All right, now that we got all the ground rules, lets do this video!” Win said and a cheer went up from all the guys.
The video went perfectly. Win kept everyone in stitches the entire time and although there were many awkward moments, Win just used it to keep everyone laughing.
Things between Win and AJ were now fine. The day after they were back on the tour, AJ sought out to Nick and apologized to him. He gave Win and Nick his blessing to have a long and happy relationship.
When Denise arrived with Latecia AJ was overjoyed to see her. He spent the next ten days with Latecia by his side, every minute of the day, he had her near him. When he absolutely could not be with her, Win agreed to watch her, which was not for long because AJ always rushed back to her.
Denise stuck around for a few days, visiting with AJ and her newfound granddaughter. During her three-day visit she spoke to Win about what happened.
“I’m so sorry that all this happened Winifred.” She said with sad eyes.
“It’s not your fault. Denise, we just were not meant to be together.” Win replied
“I just wish, you could have been a part of our family.” She replied frowning.
“Who says I’m not already a part of your family? Just because I’m not dating AJ anymore, doesn’t mean I’m going to stop visiting you. Denise, I love you like you are my own mother, you are part of my family now.” Denise smiled and cried at the same time.
“And you are the daughter I never had. I love you too Winifred.”

While they were in Pennsylvania, Win visited some of her friends. She also decided to go back to her church and see some of her friends there. The Saturday before they were to leave, Win announced to the entire crew,
“Tomorrow I am going back to the church I sang in while I lived here. Everyone here is invited to attend, no matter if you are Christian, or Jewish, or Catholic or whatever, I invite all of you to come listen to my choir sing.”
On that Sunday, a greater part of the crew showed up at the church. The guys had gathered in a pew up front with Win and spent the morning listening to a lively sermon.
“And now, I would like to invite our house choir, to come up here and perform.” The minister said after he finished his sermon. After the large group of people assembled he spoke again.
“And now, I’d like to invite, a long time friend of ours, who has sang with us, since she was fourteen. The one and only, Miss Winifred.” Win looked around surprised but Howie and Kevin pushed her up from the pew as the parishioners burst into applause and shouting.
“This girl right here ladies and gentlemen, has the voice of an angel,” there was a chorus of “Amen” ringing across the church, “She takes the word of God and makes it into the soul of God!” Another chorus of “Amen” rose from the crowd with enthusiasm. The minister threw his arm around her and said,
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time to get to my favorite part of praising the lord, through song. Let’s show this young lady here some love! So that she will help us raise up his name!” Win blushed and nodded.
“Please tell us what song you would like to sing.” The minister asked.
“Um, Worthy to be Praised.” Win replied awkwardly.
“Worthy to be Praised, and yes indeed, he is worthy to be praised. Miss Winifred, if you would kindly ascend to the choir.” Win climbed up the few steps to stand among her old friends, clad in Scarlet choir robes. They all patted her on the shoulder and sent their greetings.
“Ladies and gentlemen, let us begin!” the minister roared and Win began singing.
She finished to a tumultuous applause. Before the minister could speak again he handed her the microphone.
“To everyone here, my old friends, of the Belltown Baptist Church, my new friends and family from the Backstreet tour, thank you so much for being here. You all have been such influences in my life, that I don’t want you to walk away without knowing it. I wanted to be back here today, because today, is an especially important day for me. Today marks four years from the last time I ever used drugs. On this day four years ago, a good friend of mine from this choir standing behind me, a one Miss Rina Coster, found me shooting up with heroin in the bathroom of this church before I came to practice. And instead of accusing me, she offered me help, and so did the entire choir. I spent five days in the basement of this church, waiting for the drugs to leave my system. And to these people here, and everyone here in this church, I am standing before you, a changed woman. I do not miscount my blessings, I have been so lucky and just so incredibly blessed with my friends, and my friends who I now count as my family. So in honor of this day, I’d like to sing one of my favorite songs, Sing my Song by Christina Aguilera, and you may laugh, but I don’t think that I could express myself better than this song does, so to everyone, this is my way of saying thank you.” The music started and Win began singing. She looked around at everyone in the audience. And as she sang she walked down the steps and around the room, shaking hands with people. When she got to her long note, she held it out so long that the audience was standing and applauding as she finished the song.
She stood in front of the choir and bowed, saying simply, “Thank you.”

Before they knew it, the tour was over and they were on their separate ways for the Thanksgiving Break. In the airport, everyone waited around for their planes to take off. Howie was on his way to Reno to pick up his girlfriend and then go to Spain, where his entire family was congregating to spend the holidays. Kevin and Tessa were going home to Kentucky, just as Brian would be once he picked up Brianna and baby Winifred. AJ was spending Thanksgiving with Latecia and his family in Maryland. Nick was going to his parents in California, and Win was going with him.
Howie was the first to leave, and then Brian, and Kevin and Tessa. Finally only Win, AJ and Nick were left waiting for their planes.
“So this is it, till next month.” AJ said looking at them.
“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s over already, it seems like it started just last week.” Win replied.
“It sure has been a ride.” Nick said with a laugh.
“I know. But it’s great to be doing it again. I forgot that it was fun, most of the time,”
AJ said rubbing the back of his neck.
“Yeah, it has been good.” Nick replied.
“You kiss this girl yet?” AJ asked. Nick opened his eyes wide in surprise.
“Nope, he’s too shy.” Win replied giving him the eye. Nick turned pink.
“Flight 117 to Miami leaving at gate forty five and Flight 68 to Los Angeles at gate 47 are now boarding.”
“Well, that’s us. Guess it’s time to say goodbye.” Win said looking up at the announcement.
“Yeah, but we’ll be back soon enough.” AJ said with a smile.
“Oh, I am gonna miss you though!” Win said throwing her arms around him.
“Me too. I love you so much!” AJ said squeezing her tight.
“You take care of that little girl of yours now, and you tell Denise, and the rest of your family I love them okay?” Win asked as they parted.
“I will.” AJ replied.
“Hey, slugger, I’ll see you in a month.” Nick said grabbing AJ’s hand and doing their handshake. AJ pulled him in for a hug, “Aw, what the hell.”
“I’m gonna miss you too man,” AJ said as they let go, but he held onto Nick’s arm and pulled him close to whisper in his ear.
“You hurt her and I’ll kill you, understood?”
“You got it man.” Nick said smiling, patting AJ on the chest.
“Good,” AJ replied smiling.
“Oh hang on!” Win said fumbling with her bag for a camera.
“Here, could you take our picture!” Win said to a lady passing by. She agreed and they squished together.
“On to Europe!” They shouted and before the picture clicked, AJ and Nick both leaned in, threw their arms around Win and kissed her, one on each cheek. They parted, waving until they could no longer see each other, waiting for their next adventure together.