"Okay, the phone's off the hook... the cell phone's on silent... I think I'm ready!" Stephanie sat down on the couch and turned the channel to MTV. A small squeal escaped her lips when she saw five men she's loved for years. "Please God, let me win!"

"Alright everyone, we're back with the Backstreet Boys right here on TRL!" Carson Daly announced, the fans screaming when the camera came into their view. He turned to the guys, who were waving and smiling. "Now tell me about this contest being held on your official website. Rumor has it that you actually had to shut it down for a couple of hours in order to sort all the entries."

"Yes, the reaction to this contest has been huge. Each fan has one chance to enter. He or she writes about what kind of lesson they would like from one of us and why. We use a program that picks a random entry. Not only will the winner be able meet us and receive lessons, but also join us for the duration of our Black & Blue tour," Kevin explained, smiling as the screams increased in volume.

"I LOVE YOU, KEVIN! PICK ME!" A girl shouted from the back of the room, every piece of her clothing had something to do with the Backstreet Boys.

"I love you too, Darling, but remember; the winner is chosen randomly," Kevin chuckled, fighting not to raise his eyebrows.

"Sounds like a lot of fans out there are determined to win," Carson commented. "How about we find out who that lucky person is?"

"I'll read it!" Nick offered, reaching for the laptop.

"I don't think so, Blondie. I'll do it," AJ smacked his hands away.

"Hey, holding the contest online was my idea! I should do it!" Brian objected, reaching over AJ.

"Fellas, we're on MTV! You promised not to fight until we got on the bus!" Kevin groaned as the other three began to argue, the laptop perched on the unoccupied armchair. Howie glanced at Carson and chuckled before bringing the laptop into his own lap. He pulled up the program and clicked select. Carson sat on the arm of the couch and the audience grew quiet as the computer processed the request. Stephanie stared at the television, her fingers crossed and then clasped together in prayer.

"Please, God, please! Let me win! I'll never ask You for anything else, I promise. I know I said that when I got front row seats for the Millennium concert, but--"

"We have a winner!" Howie announced with a smile and everyone held their breaths.

"And the lucky fan is..." Carson trailed off, the drum roll overpowering the bickering from the four men.

"Stephanie James from St. Paul, Minnesota! And she has requested for... Spanish lessons from me. Congratulations!" Howie beamed, somewhat surprised that he was the Boy to be picked.

"Oh my God... I won... I WON! I FREAKING WON!" Stephanie shrieked, jumping to her feet and breaking into a victory dance.

Nick blanked upon the screen of Stephanie's television screen, his face screwed with offense that Howie had picked without his knowledge. "What the fu--"

"Congratulations Stephanie!" Brian and Kevin immediately called as AJ burst into loud snickers.

"Thank you!" Stephanie called back, though it was impossible for them to hear.

"Wait a minute! Howie got to pick! That's not fair, we're all--"

"If you all would have stopped arguing like twelve-year-olds, maybe you would have been able to," Howie interrupted.

"Kiss my as--"

"Well, that's all we have for today! Stephanie, congratulations! You'll be getting a phone call any minute to gather all the details. I'm Carson Daly and we'll see you tomorrow!"

"Okay... I think I have everything..." Stephanie double-checked her suitcase and duffel bag, checking the clock. It was nine-fifty. A representative from MTV said a limo was going to arrive around ten in the morning. She had tried to go to bed early the night before, but still woke up at dawn too excited to sleep. An attempt to make breakfast merely resulted in her almost setting the apartment on fire. "Time could not go any slower!"

Pacing the length of the living room, Stephanie furiously cracked the knuckles of her fingers. She had hoped someone would be around to celebrate this grand occasion. Someone to wish her the best of luck on the most life altering event of her life. Yet, she was alone. She had been born in Nevada, but moved to Minnesota when she graduated high school; nothing was keeping her there and she needed a change. It had been six years since she left and still had no one she could call a friend.

"I'm going to lose my mind waiting for this damn limo--" Her sentence was interrupted by a gentle rapping on her front door. She nearly ran to open it, gathering herself quickly before doing so.

"Miss James?" A kind man with gray hair and warm green eyes smiled, tipping his hat.

"That's me. I'm guessing you're the one taking me to the airport?" She smiled back, shaking his hand.

"That would be me," he agreed with a nod, motioning toward her bags.

"I can carry my duffel bag," Stephanie heaved it onto her shoulders as he picked up the suitcase. Once they were outside, she locked the door and followed the driver down to a pearly white limousine.

"I hope you get used to people waiting on you," the driver chuckled as he moved to the trunk of the stretching car. Opening it, he tucked her suitcase securely inside, reaching for her duffle bag as well. Once the trunk was closed, he reached to open the back door for her.

"I guess it wouldn't be so hard to let someone do things for me," she smiled sheepishly, climbing into the vehicle without a second thought. A yelp immediately escaped her lips as she fell onto something soft.

"Like me to be your seat?" a soft, male voice questioned.

"Yes! I mean, no... I mean, I... I... what are you doing here? The woman from MTV didn't say anything about you arriving with the limo--"

"That was part of the surprise," Howie chuckled, reaching to help Stephanie seat herself on the opposite side of him. He watched her jump slightly when the driver closed the door, causing him to smile. "TRL doesn't have to know all the plans. I thought it would be nice to meet you here."

"It's definitely a nice surprise. I've wanted to meet you for so long and now you're right in front of me and I'm babbling like an idiot," Stephanie groaned, covering her face as she blushed crimson.

"Guess I should just be talking more," Howie decided, reaching out his hand. "Or maybe a proper greeting is in order. Hello."

Stephanie pulled her hands away from her face, grasping his firmly. A sudden warmth rushed through her as their skin connected. "Hello. Thank you for coming. Now I don't have to ride the airplane alone."

"Am I allowed to call you by your first name?"

"Of course. No one calls me Miss James unless it's my boss lecturing me," Stephanie nodded, their hands still linked together.

"What do you do for a living?" Howie inquired with an honest curiosity, glancing down at their twined hands.

"At a marketing agency downtown St. Paul. On the side, I write for the local paper."

"A full plate."

"Yeah, it keeps me busy. Not as busy as you guys... I don't know if I could handle that," Stephanie smiled softly.

"I bet you could."

"I guess we'll see for this last part--"

"Miss James, Mr. Dorough, we're at the airport," the driver politely interrupted.

"You ready to change your life?" Howie invited, reaching for her hand once more as he stepped out of the limo.

"Ready and willing," Stephanie smiled again, taking his hand. Little did she know how much change was going to happen.


~*~*~*~


"How long has it been since you've flown on an airplane?" Howie raised an eyebrow as Stephanie finally let go of his sleeve. For the first thirty minutes of the flight, they had made small talk but she seemed to be a little uneasy.

"I... um..." Stephanie squealed slightly at the turbulence racing beneath the plane. "Never flown..."

"It's alright. Nick and Brian still get like that when we fly and we've been doing it for over ten years," Howie chuckled, wrapping an arm around her in hopes to settle her nerves.

"I'm being compared to Brian and Nick, yeah, that's consoling me," Stephanie joked with a tight laugh, glancing to her opposite side to see Howie's fingers cradled over her shoulder. She smiled at the sweet sensation that flushed over her body. Boy was she infatuated with the man.

"It was worth a shot and hey... it calmed you down," Howie pointed out, offering his handsome smile. The exact smile that made her melt into a puddle.

"Not really," she wheezed, flushing as she turned her gaze to the window.

"Well, maybe there's something I can do?"

"That's not what I meant..."

"What do you mean?"

"Your smile..."

"What about my smile?" Howie pried gently, trying not to embarrass her.

"I..." Stephanie swallowed the thick lump in her throat, forcing her gaze to meet his. "I really love your smile. That's what calmed me."

"Thank you," Howie couldn't help but smile. It had been awhile since someone had complimented him like that. "I like your smile, too. It lights up your eyes."

"Thank you," Stephanie whispered, unable to keep herself from smiling otherwise. To have someone like Howie compliment her was breathtaking. He mingled in the circles of the most beautiful people. Yet he was complimenting her. She could hardly contain her excitement as her blue-gray eyes electrified.

"You're very welcome," Howie took a sip of his water and glanced back at her. "We have an hour and a half to kill... what do you want to do?"

"What can you do on a plane?"

"Play card games... watch a movie... listen to music... sleep... okay, it's not all that exciting, but there are things to--"

"Do?" Stephanie guessed as his phone began to chirp incessantly.

"Just about," Howie chuckled, taking his phone and standing up. "I'll be right back and when I do, we'll figure something out."

"Sounds good," Stephanie complied, leaning back in her lush chair.

Howie smiled and walked towards the back of the plane, flipping open his phone. "What is it now, Nick?"

"Besides the fact that I superglued Kev's hands to his head?" Nick cackled.

"You three are unbelievable! I'm gone for only a day and you manage to superglue Kevin already?" Howie groaned, trying not to laugh.

"Not three. Just two."

"Just two? Where's the other one?"

"Brian? Where is he normally, D?"

"Out walking. Again," Howie sighed.

"Walking, sleeping, walking, sleeping, in the bathroom..."

"This is getting out of hand, Nick. Ever since Leighanne broke the engagement... he hasn't been himself."

"What do you want me to do, D? I try to talk to him. Then he just gets pissed off when I say he's better off without her. Then he slams the door, turns on his music really loud... I don't know. He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"He doesn't anything to do with us. And that's the problem. Before this, he was always the one saying we need to talk to each other. And now he won't talk at all. I just don't want it to get out of control."

"Don't you think it's beyond that point?" Nick stated honestly and with a heavy sigh.

"...It is, isn't it?"

"Yeah. And I don't know what to do. I feel like we're losing him by the minute, D."

"Is that why you called?"

"Um... not really..."

"Spill it, Nick."

"Kind of wanted to know about that--"

"IS SHE HOT?!" AJ bellowed from behind Nick, obviously just appearing within the room.

"I should have been expecting that sooner," Howie groaned, holding the phone away from his ear.

"Well?" Nick inquired as there was a shuffle and Howie was placed on speaker.

"You know I don't talk about women like that--"

"Oh, give me a break! You know whether she's hot or hot!" AJ snorted.

"It's not like you'll be getting with her--"

"Wait, you claimed her already?!"

"I didn't--"

"So she's up for grabs!"

"I didn't say--"

"Will you just tell us so AJ doesn't have an anner... annuer...anniversary... no... What’s that word?!"

"Aneurysm, smart one," Howie sighed with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, whatever, let's go!"

"Yeah, what does she look like?"

"Like--"

"If you say a woman, I'm kicking your ass when you get here," AJ threatened honestly.

"She has blonde hair, blue eyes, average height," Howie trailed, not really wanting to give specifics to her looks. Though in his mind he could describe her perfectly. Long, straight blonde locks with the delicate streak of lowlights. Which seemed to compliment the jeweled stud in her nose and set her blue-gray eyes ablaze with passion. Her body curvaceous, rounding perfectly within the shape of a cola bottle. Honest to God perfection.

"That's all you're going to tell us about her?"

"What else is there to know?"

"If he's hiding her looks, that means he doesn't want you two vultures picking at her like a piece of meat, so get off the phone," Kevin growled.

"Oh, shit! He unglued his head!" Nick yelped, dropping the phone to take cover.

"Gotta go, D! See you-- oh, shit!" AJ hung up and attempted to escape Kevin's wrath.


~*~*~*~


"We're at the hotel, Mr. Dorough," the driver announced yet again as he pulled the limousine up to a posh hotel that the group had called home for the past couple of weeks. Howie nodded and looked down at Stephanie, who had fallen asleep after a hectic day.

At first, Howie didn't have the heart to rouse the sleeping woman. She had nestled herself comfortably against his chest. It had been so long since he felt the familiar comfort of a woman curled against him. The soft scent of her shampoo alluring him to the most basic of carnal desires. She was a beautiful image below him and he couldn't help himself, tracing his fingers down her cheek. "Stephanie?"

"Mmm..." Stephanie in turn buried her face into his soft t-shirt, sighing softly. She definitely enjoyed her sleep.

"You going to wake up to meet the rest of the gang?" Howie inquired, though he was far more content holding her.

She peeked her eyes open and looked up at him through her square-rimmed glasses. "Can we resume this nap later?"

"I'm sure you'll be quite comfortable in your hotel room for a peaceful nap," Howie agreed.

"I meant with you... but if you're too busy--"

"I didn't know you--"

"I'm sorry, I was being too forward. My mother always told me that when I was growing up," Stephanie straightened and pulled off her glasses for a moment to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

"I'd like to take a nap with you."

"Really? You would?" She put her glasses back on and glanced at him in question. They had just met and it felt like she was throwing herself at him.

"It would be nice. It's lonely on tour," Howie admitted, opening the door of the limo as the driver gathered their luggage for a bellhop. They had been driven to the back of the hotel, away from the clamoring fans dying to see a glimpse of a hero.

"I know what's like to be lonely," Stephanie agreed as he helped her out of the limo. He continued to hold her hand as they walked inside and her jaw dropped.

"You trying to catch flies?" Howie inquired with a chuckle.

She closed her mouth and a deep blush crept onto her cheeks. "I've never been in a hotel like this. It's so beautiful!"

"Well, I hope you get used to it."

"I can definitely get used to it," She smiled as they walked into a golden elevator. The walls were delicate mirrors and it felt like a single touch would break them.

"Getting used to the rest of the boys is going to be the hardest part," Howie admitted.

"Are Brian, AJ and Nick as crazy as they are on television and concerts?" Stephanie questioned, relishing the touch of their hands linked together.

"AJ and Nick, probably more so than what media portrays them to be. We actually tell them to hold back for the majority," Howie laughed as the elevator doors slid open to reveal the lavish suite of hotel rooms at the very top floor of the hotel. The penthouse suite. "And Brian used to be."

"Used to be? But why--oh… Leighanne…"

"That's the hardest part of the career. The media knowing everything. I hope you'll keep our confidence about Brian. He's... Different..." Howie explained quietly as he moved her toward their living room where the boys would be waiting. Hopefully all four.

"I will, I promise. No one will know what happens behind closed doors," Stephanie vowed, one she would always keep. She found her heart beating a little fast. Finally, she would be meeting the rest of the group that helped her for so many years.

"Don't be disappointed if he isn't here, either."

"Where does he go?"

"We don't really know. We used to ask every time he came back, but he would just say he was out walking. So, that's where he usually goes if not sleeping or in the bathroom."

"Poor Brian," Stephanie whispered.

"I know," Howie squeezed her hand gently. "But don't talk about it, alright? He can be pretty unstable and even a mutter of her name could set him off."

"Alright," Stephanie agreed with a firm nod, allowing Howie to bring her into the room. Sure enough, four men were waiting amongst the couches, three boosting themselves to their feet for welcomes. Kevin was first to kiss her cheek and wish her congratulations. AJ then hugged her with the same, promising a fantastic vacation. And Nick tripped at some look Howie offered, causing him to merely shake her hand.

"It's very nice to finally meet you all," Stephanie replied warmly, glancing sideways to see Brian still sitting on the couch. She tried to shrug it off, knowing what he was going through. "I know it sounds corny, but I've been dreaming about this day for a long time."

"Us too!" AJ agreed with a saucy grin. "Well, after we found out that you won. Then when Howie told us you were hot."

Stephanie raised her eyebrows as she turned to Howie. "He said I was hot?"

Howie flushed red. "I said--"

"You could hear it in his voice!" AJ added fuel to the fire, grinning.

Howie turned ashen. "AJ, I swear to God!"

"Then he proceeded to claim you as hands off to me and Nick--"

"That's true!" Nick blurted.

"You two are dead--"

"That was what Kevin said earlier after he unglued his hands and we're still alive--"

"You two are nuts," Stephanie laughed in shock.

"I warned you about them," Howie mumbled, feeling completely humiliated in front of her.

"I like it," Stephanie answered with a grin.

"You do?"

"Of course. They know how to make life interesting at its most boring time."

"Brian used to be like that," Nick muttered loudly.

"Nick!" Howie and Kevin hissed as Stephanie pretended to ignore his comment for the group's sake.

"It's the honest to God truth," Nick defended.

"Well you need to keep the truth to yourself," Brian suddenly muttered, hating to feel as if he were being purposely ignored. They acted as if he hadn't existed within the group. As if he had disappeared since Leighanne left. Then again, maybe he had. Boosting himself from the couch, he fidgeted with his long sleeve shirt.

"It's nice to meet you," Stephanie walked over and held out her hand, hoping that her actions would drop the potential argument.

Brian glanced down at her hand for a wavered moment that brought a thick cloud of tension. But, swallowing his pity, he reached to take her hand. "Nice to meet you as well..."

Stephanie smiled softly, breaking some of the tension as she glanced at the men. "I don't want to be rude, but I've had a really long day... Howie, could you show me the room I'm staying in?"

"Bet he won't be out till tomorrow morning," AJ announced with a wicked grin.

"You little--"

"Asshole, I know!"

"We'll get more acquainted as a group after I take a nap," Stephanie took Howie's hand and pulled him out of the living room.

"Looks like she's already acquainted herself with Howie pretty well," AJ laughed.

"You're still dead!" Howie shouted back, his voice silenced as a door closed.

"But what a way to go," AJ breathed, flopping over Brian, causing both to crash to the couch.

"Do you always have to do shit like that?" Brian groaned, pushing AJ off himself. He stood and headed towards the door.

"Brian! Where are you going?"

"Out for a walk."

"To where?" Kevin demanded, feeling his heart lurch.

"Nowhere and it's none of your damn business. You're not my keeper."

"What if--"

"I'll be back later," Brian opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.

"Okay, have I mentioned how beautiful this room is? It's almost like they made it just for me!" Stephanie smiled with excitement as she came out of the bathroom in a large t-shirt and baggy pajama pants.

"I think this might be the twentieth time since you arrived?" Howie decided with a questioning smirk as he turned the television off, reaching to place the remote on the bedside stand. Shifting, he watched Stephanie launch herself onto the large bed, squealing with excitement at the plush quality. "You look like the cat who ate the canary."

"Except without the feathers in my mouth," Stephanie giggled, burying her face in a pillow to collect herself. She turned to look at him and she became speechless, the breath caught in her throat. Throughout her years as a fan, she had dreamed of being in the same room with Howie. Not only was she in the same room, she was in the same bed and damn, did he look good wearing a simple tank top that adhered to his chiseled body and pajama pants that settled around his tapered waist.

"I think you'd do well to keep the feathers out of your mouth."

"Y-Yeah, I thought so, too."

Howie furrowed his dark brows at the stammering in her dialect. "Are you okay, Stephanie?"

"Me? Oh, I'm fine. Everything's great. I'm in this amazing hotel with five great guys and now I'm in bed with one of them and he looks so good in just pajamas and... and you're letting me babble!" She groaned, smacking her forehead.

"I think it's cute?" Howie chuckled.

"It's embarrassing," Stephanie whined, rubbing where she hit herself. "I'm not very good at this kind of stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Just being around a guy."

"Why's that?"

"I just got out of a serious relationship about six months ago."

"How long were you together?"

"Two years."

"Wow. What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"Good point," Stephanie nodded, chewing on her thumbnail. "I guess my relationship with Chris was what you would call toxic. There were times where I had never been happier and then times where... it was bad. I loved him, but when he drank he became someone else. He never beat me, but he would put me down all the time. I always tried to leave him and each time I came crawling back. One night he slapped me and I woke up. I realized I wasn't in paradise and if I wanted to be myself again, I had to leave. So I did and I don't regret it."

"Damn..." Howie trailed, not really knowing what else to say. He glanced down at her, looking so serene curled amongst the pillows. "At least you had the strength to get away. Some women don't."

"I know. I thank God for helping me," Stephanie sighed softly, cocking her head to the side. "What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your relationships. I won't tell anyone, I--"

"It's okay," Howie chuckled. "You're rambling."

"Thanks for telling me," She smiled, blushing softly as he began his story.

"My last relationship wasn't toxic, in so many words, but it certainly wasn't good for me. Charlotte was good at being affectionate when she wanted to... or wanted me to... she never came on the road with me and one weekend I came home as a surprise and caught her cheating on me with our neighbor. I found out she had been cheating on me all along and she blamed it on me not being good enough for her."

"What a bitch," Stephanie spoke freely.

"You're right. That's exactly what she was," Howie had to smile at her honesty.

"She didn't deserve you anyway."

"Sometimes I wonder if she was right. Maybe if I had been home more, or given her more attention--"

"Hardly. She should have been willing to work with your career. It's something you love so much. She should have come on tour. If she loved you more, she would have made it work."

"You're right... I need someone who deserves me as much as I deserve them," Howie nodded. Everyone had told him the same thing, but it seemed to sink in when it came from Stephanie.

"Exactly."

"Maybe someone like you?" Howie inadvertently asked.

"Someone? Like me?"

"Are you an echo?"

"Well no," she blushed for what seemed like the thousandth time and looked into his chocolate brown eyes. "Why someone like me?"

"I'm not really sure," Howie admitted honestly, glancing down at her. "I don't really know much about you. Just some idle chit-chat. Nothing too serious. But when I look at you... Something just draws me in..."

"Like fate is speaking to you..." Stephanie finished his sentence.

"Yeah," Howie admitted with a soft nod.

"What is fate saying now?"

"Something you might slap me for..."

"I would never slap you."

"I doubt I want to tempt fate."

"Maybe you're supposed to."

Howie stared at her for the longest moment; just watching the way the gray of her eyes clouded the soft blue. It was almost like a stormy sky basking over the ocean. Tempting fate seemed plausible, especially as he lowered his head. Their lips mere inches apart as he whispered her name, then descended to taste her. It was nothing she had ever experienced as Stephanie closed her eyes in pure joy, wrapping her arms around his neck as their kiss deepened.


~*~*~*~


Brian walked along the darkening streets of the city, keeping his head low so no one would bother him with an autograph or picture. The incident at the hotel set him off yet again, and a walk was in order so he wouldn't resort to his other methods. It was getting risky with the guys watching him like a hawk. He scowled and fastened his pace.

What was their problem with him anyway? It wasn't as if he had been the problem child of the tight knit group. In fact, it was easier to put blame upon AJ and Nick. Those two were the ones that needed guidance. Yet, they were the ones watching him. It was so ironic. But not the amusing ironic of some alternative rock song. An ironic that drove Brian into the brink of insanity.

"They just need to leave me alone," Brian muttered, rubbing his wrist softly. Thunder clapped overhead but he didn't flinch as raindrops began to fall.

He wasn't hurting them or their image. In fact, whenever they were on TV or in concert, he was in his most exuberant states. He proved to the fans that he loved them unconditionally and this was the best place to be. That the world was alive and bright. But inside, he was dying inside. His world was bleak since Leighanne claimed that she no longer loved him. That she simply 'fell out of love.' How was that possible? Brian wondered what kind of person he was that someone could just so easily fall out of love with him. Just one day his whole world came crashing. But, no, he wasn't hurting them. In fact, he was just hurting himself.

The rain was now pouring as Brian drowned in his dark thoughts. The pain was always there; it would never go away. And maybe it wasn't supposed to. Maybe his heart was meant to grow cold and hard, a block of ice to protect itself from anyone else. He had dreamed about marrying his soul mate but now it seemed like it wasn't meant for him. Tears gathered in his lifeless eyes as he continued to walk.

He was a nobody, despite the drones of fans that screamed their undying love for him. But who were they to say? They idolized him as a body of fame. As what the media projected him to be. There was no realness within their love. No seriousness to their proclamations. He would be alone. Forever. With a flimsy engagement ring that proved he was nothing.

A flash of lightning actually startled him from his thoughts and he realized that he had reached a little boardwalk overlooking the ocean. The waves were white-capping and crashing against the shore, matching the turmoil in his soul. He looked up at the sky and screamed, letting out all his anguish.


~*~*~*~


"Damn, it's really storming out," AJ stood by the large bay window, wincing as lightning cracked and thunder rumbled. It even hailed for a few minutes. Brian was out there somewhere, and it made the men worry.

"I'd call his mother if I knew it'd make any difference, but he's changed," Kevin murmured, briefly glancing up from his novel, not that he had been reading. Instead, he continued to glance toward his watch, timing the hours that Brian had been gone. What had gotten into his younger cousin?

"All because of that stupid bitch," Nick seethed, tossing his sketchbook on the coffee table.

"Nick--"

"We all know that's what she is. They were together for how many years? And then just three months before their wedding, she falls out of love with him. How the fuck does that happen?"

"I couldn't tell you..." Kevin trailed, though he secretly condemned the woman that had broken his cousin's heart. He had never seen Brian so down trodden. So heartbroken. The lifelessness in Brian's eyes terrified him. Kevin had tried so very hard to reach him, fearing he would do something foolish by the end. Women were always out to hurt Brian. That much was obvious.

"I rest my case. The woman is nothing but a bi--"

"We could call her worse things," Howie announced, finally appearing in the living room with a suddenly refreshed Stephanie by his side. The glimmer of excitement in his chocolate eyes told the men that good things had happened.

"We could, but I think we're all bigger people than her. Name-calling isn't going to change what she did to Brian," Stephanie added, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"We could find him someone better," AJ decided, though his seriousness turned into a wicked lopsided grin. "Well, not me and my black book. That ain't what the man's looking for."

"Definitely not," Howie shook his head, smiling softly as he and Stephanie curled onto the loveseat.

"Do you know anyone?" Nick inquired, actually keeping quiet about the obvious festivities occurring between Stephanie and Howie.

"Not anyone offhand--"

"Well ain't that a fucking shame," Nick concluded, hearing the door to the living room open.

"You're very crude sometimes," Stephanie rolled her eyes playfully.

"Classy was never his forte," Kevin muttered, craning his neck to see Brian stalking into the living room. His clothing was soaked, adhering to his skinny frame, showing that he had been losing weight dramatically since the break up. His face was pale and his eyes held dark rings beneath him. Bruises could even be seen by the chunks of hail flying. And Kevin couldn't help himself as he launched to his feet. "Jesus Christ, Brian--"

"I'm fine," Brian interrupted, not slowing down as he headed for his room.

"You look like shit," Kevin disagreed, hurriedly following his relative, catching the door that had almost been slammed into his face. "Brian--"

"Just leave me the fuck alone! You all act like I'm a ghost, so why start caring now?! What goes on in my life is none of your business!"

"You're my cousin, damnit, it is my business--"

"Like you even care. Now get out of my room before I make you," Brian snarled.

"Brian--"

"GET OUT!" Brian pushed Kevin hard and slammed the door shut.

"Brian!"

Brian screamed out in sheer pain as he slammed his fists on the door, attempting to scare Kevin away. His body raged with a dark fire of contempt, threatening to explode from within. It felt as if his heart was trying to tear the flesh from his body in means of escape. Throbbing with emotional pain, Brian stumbled into his bathroom. Panting for breath, he hurriedly searched the confines of his toiletries, pulling out a pair of sharpened scissors. Falling to the bathroom floor, he heaved ragged sobs and ripped open the sleeve of his soaked shirt. Revealing dozens of faint lines of scars, he cared not, holding the blade above his trembling flesh.

Only wanting the emotional pain to cease, he cut deep into his flesh to promote a physical pain. He winced at the deepness of his anger, watching the dark lines of crimson gush from beneath the paleness of his skin. And he was siated as he collapsed against the cabinet of the bathroom. Sobbing with sheer relief. Sobbing for how lost he had truly become.

"Okay, so I'm figuring out that Spanish is harder than everyone thinks," Stephanie pouted, trying to write out a simple sentence in the foreign language. She had taken it for a year in high school and didn't have much experience using it. The incident with Brian seemed to have been forgotten on the outside the next morning, but three days later, she knew it was still bothering the four men.

"At least it's logical, unlike English. 'I' before 'E' except after 'C'... That's a bunch of nonsense. At least, that's what my mother says. To this day she'll still yell at my father in Spanish. And, being Irish, he just sits there, astonished," Howie chuckled as he took a seat beside Stephanie, glancing over her shoulder at the pad she was using. Lessons of Spanish were definitely not her forte.

"It may be nonsense, but I understand it perfectly. However, I do sympathize with your father. I would have the same look on my face if you yelled at me in Spanish," She growled in frustration, scribbling out the sentence and starting over.

"Speaking might be easier than writing," Howie suggested, reaching to clasp her hands.

"I don't think I'll be very good at that."

"How come?"

"I don't know how to roll my 'R's."

"That comes later... With practice..." Howie answered, though he leaned close till their lips were a hairsbreadth apart. "And practice can be fun..."

"I think I like this language again," Stephanie laughed softly, running her hands through his newly cut locks.

"Want to know how to roll your 'R's?" Howie enticed.

"Si, por favor."

"Bien," Howie declared, bringing his lips against hers. He first offered a soft kiss as to not scare her away, but she became emboldened by his decision. Seemingly possessed by love, Howie deepened the kiss, offering his tongue to her mouth. Coiling his tongue against hers, he coaxed it into a rolled position. Then, he rolled his 'R's against her tongue, applying a friction of excitement.

A low moan escaped Stephanie's throat, feeling their tongues roll together in perfect harmony. If this was the way to learn rolling 'R's, she was going to be the master.

"See, speaking is easier..." Howie teased, reluctantly drawing away.

"If you keep having demonstrations like that... si, muy simpatico..." Stephanie trailed off, her lips tingling from the smoldering kiss.

"And you thought you needed lessons when it came to Spanish," Howie teased, finding it amusing that she had such a wealth of knowledge.

"I just need help with the writing part..." she flushed.

"Well... That's no fun..."

"There's got to be a way we can make that fun..." Stephanie chewed her lip in thought.

"Well..." Howie trailed off slightly.

"How about... every time I can form a sentence... I get a kiss? And you can kiss me anywhere you want," Stephanie leaned over and trailed a finger up his chest.

"I suppose that could work," Howie accepted, trying not to shiver underneath the soft guidance of her finger. Something about her was terribly alluring. He had never felt so captivated by a woman before.

"Good," she smiled softly. "What's my first sentence?"

"What's your name?" Howie decided, wanting to keep it simple. Perhaps too simple considering the rewards.

"What's your name..." Stephanie took her notepad and thought for a moment before scribbling it down, showing it to him. "Is that right?"

"Does it honestly matter?" Howie blurted, reaching for the notepad so he could throw it across the room. Reaching for her shoulders, he pushed her down onto the sofa, wasting no time in covering her body with his. "Lo siento, cariña, yo no puedo ayudar a me."

"Whatever you just said... I could care less... Just keep kissing me," Stephanie squealed with excitement, curling her legs around his waist to pull him closer, changing the meaning of a lesson in foreign tongue.


~*~*~*~*~


Kevin walked out of his room, his hair damp from a cool shower. The penthouse was quiet; everyone seemed to be out for the day. Except for him and Brian. Glancing around, he finally found his younger cousin sitting outside on the large deck overlooking the city.

Since first meeting Stephanie, Brian had pulled away completely from the group. He had refused to join in any social activities, much less carry a conversation with Stephanie. He treated her as if she had the plague and Kevin constantly tried to apologize for it. Brian was just not himself. He was hurt. He was trying to get better... Just excuses. But Kevin wanted a straightforward answer. "Hey, B," he called, stepping onto the balcony beside his family member. "Little warm for long sleeves, ain't it?"

"I'm cold," Brian replied shortly, keeping his gaze towards the skyline.

Kevin offered a skeptical glance despite Brian's wandering gaze. "The humidity could strangle a man--"

"I said I'm cold. If you're going to pester me, I'll go somewhere else," Brian interrupted, clenching his jaw tightly. He knew his cousin wasn't looking for idle conversation.

"Don't do that," Kevin groaned. "I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Trying to ease your guilty conscience, huh? Or maybe because you don't have anything else to do but feel sorry for me--"

"Jesus, B, what's gotten into you?"

"You don't know what it's like. No one does. So don't try to understand."

Kevin shook his head as he pulled Brian down into one of the chairs beside him. "You act like you're the only person in this world who's had his heart broke."

"Kevin--"

"What Leighanne did was rotten. I know that. She was either cold hearted or dumb as a damn brick. But that doesn't stop you from living your life. God, put yourself back into your music. Or into basketball. I mean, you got the heart surgery, you're doing better... Don't let life go down the drain."

"But I loved her! I would have given her the world! Why couldn't she love me back? What's wrong with me?" Brian turned away from Kevin's penetrating green orbs.

"There's nothing wrong with you--"

"Obviously there is! Leighanne would still be here if there wasn't anything wrong with me!" Brian rubbed his wrist through his sleeve. "Maybe I'm meant to be alone. Unloved."

"Brian, we love you--"

"You all ignore me! You just watch over me like a hawk so I don't ruin our reputation."

"That's not what we're doing and you damn well know it!" Kevin exploded in disbelief, reaching to yank at his cousin's wrist to turn him.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Brian pulled away from Kevin's grasp.

"What's wrong?" Kevin yelped in honest shock as Brian sent him hurdling back against his chair, holding his wrist as if he had been in severe pain.

"Everything's wrong. You want me to act all peachy in public, fine. Don't fucking ask me to do it around here," Brian stalked back into the room and slammed his door shut.

The slam may have been deafening to Kevin, but Brian didn't care. Instead, he hurried into his private bathroom and slammed that door shut as well. The power behind his arm caused the mirror to rattle and his toiletries to clatter into the sink. Noting the glistening scissors and razorblades beneath the gleaming lights, he exhaled a shake breath. Rolling up his sleeves and pant legs, he went to work. Pain washed away.


~*~*~*~*~


"This city is amazing!" Stephanie gasped softly, craning her neck to see the very top of the Empire State Building. She and Howie decided to spend the day walking around New York City since it was her first time visiting.

"Don't break your neck," Howie teased, reaching for her hand to pull her away from the crowd of natives stomping through the streets. Each was obviously hot to get to their jobs after lunch. Not in the mood for tourists. Not that Howie cared. He just wanted Stephanie to enjoy herself.

"Funny," Stephanie rolled her eyes playfully as she dodged out of a man's way. "These people are like a herd of cows rushing to get back in the barn!"

"Can't say I agree with that statement. I've never been near a cow in my life."

"City folk..." Stephanie sighed, shaking her head with a smirk.

"Didn't you come from a city?"

"Yeah, but we had farms integrated in the city. I only had to drive maybe twenty minutes from my apartment and I could see cows."

"I'd stick to beaches," Howie decided, reaching for her hand to help her down the street.

"I've never been to a beach on the coast. Only lakes," Stephanie shrugged, feeling her body warm from his simple touch.

"Well, I can take you to a beach," Howie promised.

"Really?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I guess I'm still getting used to seeing someone who would give me anything I asked for... not that I would! I could never take advantage of you, but--"

"You're rambling," Howie decided.

"Sorry..." Stephanie blushed.

"Why be sorry, Steph? You're adorable."

"No, I'm not--"

"Beautiful then."

"Howie, I am not--"

"Gorgeous."

"Howie!"

"What?" he laughed, though his dark eyes shown with the truest of sincerity.

"You're with all the beautiful celebrities and models... how can you compliment me like that?" Stephanie looked away, sighing softly. The first couple of times he told her such things, she thought he was just being nice.

"Because it's true," Howie answered, turning in front of her and ducking slightly to catch her blue-gray eyes. "You may not have glitz and glamour, though I'm sure if we gave you a day at some ritzy spa, you'd send all the women on the red carpet writhing in jealousy. But I think you're gorgeous for what's inside. For how you're so insecure, though I know you're beautiful. The angles of your face. The shape of your body. You have no idea what other people see when they look at you."

"You're too good for me," Stephanie sniffled softly, reaching out to play with one of his curls.

"Why's that?" he inquired, kissing her forehead.

"I don't know... I guess I'm still trying to convince myself that God wanted this to happen. That it was finally my turn to be happy..."

"Are you happy?"

She cupped his cheeks; their contrasting eyes locking. "This is the happiest I've ever been in my life."

"Good," Howie sighed with relief.

"What was the sigh for?"

"Because, this is the happiest I've ever been and if you weren't happy and I had to let you go--"

"There is no way I couldn't be happy with you," Stephanie silenced his rambling with a gentle but passionate kiss.

"So it's okay to say I love you?" Howie suggested, unable to hold the thought as her lips softened against his.

Stephanie pulled away and studied his eyes for a moment. Did he just say I love you? To her? "Um... you said... you said..."

"I love you?"

"You love me?" She squeaked. They had been with each other for a week and deep down she had always loved him. But to hear it fall from his lips seemed like a dream and she was afraid soon she would wake up.

"I love you," he repeated, unsure how to gauge her reaction.

"Oh, Howie... I love you, too."

"Thank God."

"What did you think I was going to say?" She laughed softly, kissing him again.

"I didn't know... That's what scared me."

"Now you don't have to be scared."

"I think I'm way too excited now," Howie admitted with a lopsided grin.

"I think I know what you mean," Stephanie smiled brightly as he gently pinned her against the wall of a large skyscraper.

"Oh really?" he teased, leaning to nip at her neck.

"Mm-hmm," she moaned softly into his ear as he paid attention to her secret spot. "You want to shout it from the rooftops. To tell everyone who walks by you."

"How about I just find us a fancy hotel room for the night?"

"There's a place fancier than our current hotel?"

"Baby, this is New York. Each building does anything it can do outdo the other."

"I can't believe he tried to lecture me again about being nice to... her. Why the fuck should I? She's just a fan using Howie for his attention and money," Brian muttered as he walked down the streets he became so familiar with over the past couple of weeks.

New York had been one of their longest ventures, filled with publicity stunts, concerts, and Lord knows what else. Brian had lost himself in the shuffle of the business. Nothing seemed to matter as he became lost within his personal darkness. Not even making friends with the new love interest of his friend. Usually, he was the first to welcome someone to their tight knit family. But now, he could honestly care less. Sneaking a hand underneath his sweater, he stroked the newly raising scar that had just recently stopped bleeding. That one had been a little too deep.

Pretty soon he would have to figure out a different way to hide his daily habit as the weather grew warmer. Too warm for sweaters and long sleeve shirts. He wasn't into a lot of bracelets or huge watchbands. That was more AJ's thing.

He could start a bit higher on his legs. Near the thigh area. That seemed to be a pretty easy space to conceal, considering he always wore long shorts. Those short, track, almost suffocating shorts that caused a man's genitalia to split into two different sections. Shuddering at the mere image of any man wearing such a casualties, especially his friends. Though, he didn't have to think long as a hard force came running straight into his body, blowing him backward onto the gritty road of the park he had been traveling.

"Fuck me raw!" a woman growled with disgust.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" Brian sat up and noticed the woman he had collided with was glaring at him.

"This asshole is walking down the center of the pathway, weaving all over the place, I step over that small garden fence jigger to avoid him, he still hits me, and I'm the one getting blamed," the woman muttered with disbelief, already gathering her heavily padded messenger bag which Brian assumed contained a laptop. She stooped briefly to gather a few flying post-its, then immediately straightened to brush back the fly away dark golden curls that had loosened from her long French braid.

"Maybe if you weren't in such a damn hurry, you wouldn't have--"

"Excuse me? It's called a job and I have a big meeting. As much as it disappoints me," she glared at him with piercing eyes. "I've got to go before I get fired. And next time, find somewhere else to walk so they don't have to deal with your nasty attitude."

"Why don't you stick the rest of that plastic dick you're swinging between your legs further in my ass before you leave," Brian scoffed.

The woman suddenly straightened in surprise at his blatant disregard for manners. And, she held no fear in her icy sapphire blue eyes as she stepped up close to him. Upon further inspection, Brian realized that the inner ring of her irises were a deep emerald that melted into the dark sapphire coloring. She had a light splash of freckles across the bridge of her nose and upper cheeks, barely noticeable unless one was close. The faint spray of elegant perfume mixed with fruity shampoo alluring his senses. Her lean body pressed close, her supple breasts pressing against his chest, reminding him what it was like to be with a woman. That is, till she spoke, "You wish I'd give you that time of day."

"Actually, I wish you would get the Hell off me. You're late for your 'meeting', remember? Can't have your pretty little face get fired," Brian mocked her, swallowing an animalistic desire building inside of him.

"I think you'd rather me get you the Hell off," she returned easily, bringing her thigh upward to make him aware of his growing erection.

"I think this is bordering on sexual harassment," Brian murmured, his breath catching at the feel of her thigh against him.

"It would be, if you weren't smiling so much," she finally laughed, slipping away from him as fast as she had collided with him.

"I'm not--"

"See you later, Cowboy," she turned around and left.

"I wasn't smiling," Brian declared loudly, almost attempting to shout it back to her, though he reached up to his face nonetheless. And, sure enough, he was smiling.

"Damn that babe was on fire, B!" Nick suddenly shouted from the bushes.

Brian whirled around and narrowed his eyebrows. "What the Hell are you doing here?! Are you following me?"

"I needed to see where you were going all this time, in case it was somewhere fun. I mean, being cooped up in that hotel with Howie getting all... Whatever on Stephanie... is boring. I needed to know what you were doing... So, call it... Stalking-no-trespassing-no-ah-er-friendly curiosity?" Nick attempted to explain as he tripped to sneak away from the large bush, sprawling onto his stomach in front of Brian.

"Friendly curiosity my ass," Brian rolled his eyes. "If I find out you went to Kevin about this I'll--"

"No Kevin!" Nick squealed, rolling to avoid Brian's foot. "I'd rather talk about that chick you bowled over!"

"What's there to talk about?"

"She was gorgeous!" Nick exploded as he stumbled to get to his feet.

"Nick--"

"You may have not noticed because you slammed right into her, but I got the full view! Dark gold hair. Blue-green eyes. Heart shaped face. Hot as Hell body. Those curves. Those tits--"

"That were probably implants. She's a random New Yorker and I'll never see her again. Let's drop it, alright?"

"Those are not implants. I know implants. They don't bounce when they walk. That little saunter in her hips. Bet she's a serious tomboy, but that little sway..." Nick whistled quite loudly as if she were a delectable treat.

"Thank God for your observing skills," Brian shook his head and began to walk.

"You mean like how I noticed your dick is rock hard?"

"Just stop following me, or I'll tell Kevin about the time you came back to the hotel with a stripper."

"And I'll tell Kevin about how you got hard at bowling a poor woman over."

"Don't fuck with me, Nick. I can make your life a living Hell."


~*~*~*~*~


"So, here is my question. How is it that you can just miraculously fall in love after barely meeting one another?" Nick questioned quite loudly as he galloped into the living room, flopping down on the couch with a large bowl of buttery popcorn. He grinned wickedly toward Howie and Stephanie, who were curled quite nicely on the opposite couch, Kevin in the corner, concentrating on the newspaper. And, Brian, trying to disappear from the world. Not that Nick minded, more focused upon Howie and Stephanie for the time being.

"How many times have you asked us that?" Stephanie glanced to Nick with a raised eyebrow. The man was like her younger brother and she loved him like one, but he had his annoying moments.

"I don't know. How many?" Nick questioned.

"Uh... too many!"

"Uh... Well, I was just figure, 'cause Brian--"

"Leave me out of your conversation, please," Brian snapped.

"What happened?" Kevin inquired wearily, raising his eyes from the newspaper. He immediately looked to Nick, who was grinning foolishly, then to Brian, who looked none too pleased.

"Brian met a girl at the park. Well, not a girl. A woman. God was she bangin'. Like I'm talking dangerous curves that you'd grip in bed while you're taking the ride of your life. She was so damn hot that B even got a hard-on--"

"Shut the fuck up, you fucking asshole!" Brian stood up, clenching his fists.

"He slammed into her like he was a damn football player! Started cussing her out and she dished it right back. Hell she even rubbed her thigh against his dick. That's when he got really hard--"

Brian launched himself at Nick, pulling him to his feet by the collar of his t-shirt. He smacked the younger man sharply upside the head. "What do I have to do to get through that thick skull of yours?!"

"Brian! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" AJ cursed in shock, immediately vaulting to his feet to yank Brian away. Kevin and Howie sat back in amazement, wondering when AJ became so authoritative.

"I told him to shut up! He didn't stop! Get the fuck off me!" Brian pushed AJ, allowing him to slam back onto the couch as he kept a hold on Nick.

"Stop it! Someone's going to get hurt!" Stephanie got up and tried to stop the argument.

"Don't," Howie blurted, reaching to grasp Stephanie by the waist, hauling her backward as Kevin vaulted upward to pry Brian's hands from Nick's throat.

"Brian, let him go! He can't breathe!" Kevin roared, finally releasing Nick from the deadly grasp.

"I'm sorry!" Nick rasped as he collapsed heavily onto the floor, immediately crawling away to claw at his throat for deeper breaths. "I was just kidding!"

"What the Hell is wrong with you?! You could have killed him!" Kevin grabbed Brian's shoulders and pinned him to the wall. "Calm down!"

"I told him not to say a fucking thing!" Brian growled as he fought against Kevin's hold, bucking his shoulders forward to pitch his cousin. Stumbling slightly from the freedom, he instantly recoiled like a rattlesnake about to strike, casting hateful gazes in every direction. "This whole group is fucking bullshit!"

"So strangling all of us if the solution?! How about talking to him like you used to? He listened to you before--"

"Before what? Before Leighanne destroyed my life? There's no turning back now, Cuz."

Kevin's jaw clenched. "You are way out of line--"

"You know what's out of line? Allowing him to follow me around like I'm on house arrest. I'm out of here," Brian stormed out of the room and slammed the door, going out on another one of his walks.

"Anybody know CPR?" Nick rasped through the thick tension.

"You'll be fine, you just need some water," Stephanie got him a bottle out of the fridge and she glanced at the other men. "Aren't you going after him?"

"And do what exactly? Get socked in the jaw again?" AJ grumbled, pulling himself onto the nearby couch.

"Maybe talk to him?"

"He gets pissed off when we do--"

"That's because you guys are so cruel--"

"If you think you can do better, then by all means, Stephanie, go right ahead," AJ scoffed. "You haven't been here the whole time. You don't know what it's been like with him."

"Maybe I don't, but I do know what he's going through," Stephanie went to find Brian... and hopefully help him.


~*~*~*~*~

Stephanie jogged across the busy street, quickly scanning passerby's for a certain blond man. He couldn't have gone too far just yet. So where was he? Why she was the one going out to search for him, she hadn't a clue. It was as if the men had given up hope on Brian. The one who had inspired hope in them to begin with. She had to reach out to him. She had to show him that someone cared. That he honestly wasn't alone.

"He's got to be around here somewhere..." Stephanie muttered to herself, her eyes widening when she saw someone stalking towards the entrance of a park. Blond hair. Black hoody with baggy blue jeans. "Brian."

Hurriedly checking the street, she danced between the cars and ran to the opposite side of the street. From there, dashed toward the entrance of the park, reaching to grab the man by the arm. "Brian, wait."

"How many fucking times have I told you not to touch me?" Brian snapped, yanking himself away from her.

"Fine, I won't touch you," Stephanie promised, holding her hands in innocence. "Can I just walk with you?"

"Whatever," Brian shrugged, resuming his pace.

"Why do you get so upset when someone tries to talk to you?" Stephanie inquired, stepping up her pace to keep with him.

"Gee, I don't know... Maybe because I don't want to talk?" Brian replied sarcastically, shoving his hands into the kangaroo pocket.

"Because you're afraid someone might try to understand you?"

"Don't even think about getting Dr. Phil on me--"

"I wish I could," Stephanie scoffed.

"You don't even fucking know me!"

"Well I'm trying!"

"Stop trying!" Brian turned around and she ran into his body, falling backwards. "I don't need you to know me!"

"Then what do you need?" she yelped in shock, the wind rushing from her lungs when she hit her backside.

"To be left alone! Why can't you people understand that?!"

"Because it's not like you!"

"You're a fan! How do you know this isn't me?"

"That's not fair--"

"You're right, it's not fair! Life's not fair! It's a bitch and then you die!" Brian leaned down and got directly in her face. "Not everyone is as lucky as you, to snatch up a Backstreet Boy by simply opening her legs and getting the whole world handed on a silver platter."

Before Stephanie could stop herself, she let a hand fly to connect sharply with the side of Brian's face. The echo was amazingly loud, actually startling her as her hand turned fiery with pain. But she remained still, glaring at Brian with honest disgust. "Maybe you deserved to be left if this is how you act. You're a selfish brat who doesn't know how good he has it!"

"Don't ever come after me again," Brian growled, refusing to hold his lip, which was indefinitely bleeding.

"It's not my fault nor anyone else's that Leighanne left you. That was her own choice and there's nothing you can do to change it. And you know what? You're damn lucky you have people who actually care about you!"

"They care about the career! Not me!"

"Open your fucking eyes, Brian! If they just cared about their careers, they--"

"Would do exactly what they're doing now!"

"What do you expect them to do when you punch, shove and choke them?!"

"TO BE LEFT ALONE!"

"Get out of my face!"

"No!"

"Fuck you," Brian sputtered for a lack of better words, turning on his heels to stomp off. He had never met such a pushy, overbearing, obstinent woman in his life. He wished her a Hellish death. Much like he wished Leighanne a hellish death.

"Running away won't help anything!" Stephanie grasped the back of his hoodie.

"Stop trying to choke me!"

"Funny, that was something your best friend was saying earlier!"

"Go to Hell," Brian snarled, pushing away.

Stephanie stumbled but kept her balance as she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the soft grass, quickly straddling his stomach. "I know you're hurting, but you can't live like this! If she left you, that means God wants you to be with someone else! Your soul mate!"

"I DON'T HAVE A SOUL MATE!"

"YES YOU DO! EVERYONE DOES!"

"And yours just happens to be Howie and you love flashing that around?" Brian spat, bucking his hips to get her off his body. He didn't understand why she was so stubborn.

"Yes, I believe its Howie," Stephanie dug her knees into his side. She was not going to give up. "I am not flashing ANYTHING around. I'm sorry if he and I are happy together are an inconvenience to you. If you would just get over her, you could be happy with someone, too!"

"I don't want anyone else!"

"You weren't meant to be with Leighanne! I know it hurts," Stephanie reached down and cupped his cheeks. "I've thought I found the one and all I got was heartache. But I kept looking and I found him. I know you can do it, Brian."

"Leave me alone," Brian heaved as every anger bead of stone surrounding his heart started to crumble. He shuddered underneath Stephanie's hold, turning onto his side as he did his best to fight a tender sob.

"Brian... sweetheart, it's going to be okay. Just let me help you."

"You can't."

"Yes, I can," Stephanie gently grabbed his wrists so he would look at her.

"Don't," Brian yelped, jerking his wrists away from her grasp as a tremble of pain raced through him.

"What? I barely..." Stephanie's eyes grew wide as she caught a glimpse of a thick scar. "Oh, Brian... please don't tell me you're..."

"I don't," he lied, reaching to pull her off his body and he stumbled to his feet. "Let's get back to the hotel before Howie misses you."

"Brian--"

"Let's go."

Brian sighed heavily as he leaned on the railing of the yacht's expensive deck. Fussing with the satin sapphire tie wrapped around his neck, he felt as if he were suffocating once more. Staring into the crystal containing his champagne, he really didn't feel as if he were in a celebratory mood. Not like the rest of his band mates hovering amongst the deck, celebrating the newly raised money for Howie's benefit - Dorough Lupus Foundation. But they had pleaded with him to attend. So he had complied, dressing in the expensive Armani suit and sitting through a boring dinner. Then a painful dancing session of watching Kristin with Kevin and Stephanie with Howie, then AJ and Nick with their dates.

"I really should have just stayed at the damn hotel," Brian muttered, taking a long sip of the bubbling alcohol.

But Howie and Stephanie had pleaded with him to accept the invitation. He could have just as easily turned it down, but the look in Stephanie's eyes. He knew better than to disagree with a woman when she had that look in her eyes. It was a virtual blackmail. If he hadn't went, she would have squealed. Why were all women so--

"If it isn't the Cowboy..."

Brian whipped around, dropping his crystal glass overboard. He didn't seem to notice as he caught eyes with the woman from the park. "You. What are you doing here?"

"I was invited," she answered simply, turning to lean her bare back against the railing. Her sapphire eyes sparkled beneath the soft lighting of the deck as she ran a fingertip along the top of her crystal glass. She was gorgeous to say the very least. Her long dark blonde locks wrapped into an elegant up-do, several long curls framing her heart shaped face. Her sleekly curved body was dressed in a pair of black elegant slacks with wide pant legs that made it appear like a gown. Her top was strapped snugly within a sapphire corset, showing an ample amount of cleavage. Sapphire jewels dripping from her ears and neck, adding to the creamy complexion of her soft skin.

"You got invited to this private celebration? How did you manage that, by banging your boss?" Brian let the insult slip from his tongue.

"Actually, I've been doing a lot of writing for the DLF. I'm friends with Pollyanna and she invited me to this," the woman answered without any signs of hostility.

"I've known Pollyanna for years... she never mentioned you."

"Maybe she didn't want to?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I didn't ask her to spread my name around amongst her friends. I'm helping her spread press about DLF through my magazine. We're business colleagues. Business friends."

"Oh. You're one of those 'never mix business with pleasure' chicks, aren't you?"

"No one ever said that," she actually laughed. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are..." Brian trailed off, captivated by her laugh. Full of life and energy.

"For all I know, you're trying to offer me a chance to mix business and pleasure by taking me to that lush bathroom..."

"Trust me, that's one offer I'm not making to you right now," Brian scowled, looking out towards the water.

"Well, that's an honest shame," she sighed, leaning backward against the rail further, so she could catch his eyes. "It's still nice to meet you. Y'know, after you collided with me."

"You collided with me--"

"How about we just leave it as we collided with each other?"

"Fine..." Brian held back a sigh. "It's nice meeting you, too."

"Are you sure?" she inquired further, tucking a few dark blonde locks behind her pierced ears. "You don't seem too thrilled."

"Let's just say it's been a long year for me."

"Well, that means it can only go up from here."

"I don't think so."

"And I thought you were optimistic..."

"You see what the media sees," Brian shrugged, turning his head to gaze into her eyes.

"And what if I wanted the truth?"

"So you can publish the next big story in your magazine? Thanks, but no thanks--"

"You think I stood next to you and took the chance of saying hello to get some story in a magazine?" she interrupted, her sapphire eyes darkening with hurt. "I'm not that ravenous. And I write for a nursing journal. Why they would be concerned about your attitude is beyond me--"

"And why you would be concerned about my attitude is beyond me," Brian stood up and walked to the bar. He needed a drink.

"Because maybe I know where you're coming from. Anyone can recognize the signs of depression. Especially if they've been there."

"So you've been engaged? Preparing for a wedding that would never happen? To have the one person you loved more than anything in the world tell you they don't love you? To have to explain to family and friends why there would be no wedding? You know what it's like?" Brian rounded on her, tears stinging his azure eyes.

"I was at the wedding in the most beautiful gown in my entire life. Probably the only gown in my entire life. And I had someone tap me on the shoulder and say that the love of my life wasn't coming. He was gone. Not so much as a note. But I did get a phone call when he was on our honeymoon... With another woman," she spoke frankly.

"You're lying."

"Yeah, like I would just make that up for shits and giggles."

"You--"

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Littrell," she answered, moving to weave through the intimate crowds.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." Brian trailed off.

When he caught her bare upper arm and turned her to face him, her sapphire eyes widened in shock. At the sincere look in his light blue eyes, she offered a small smile. "It's okay."

"I didn't mean to be an asshole... I shouldn't assume--"

"It's okay."

"But I--"

Brian's apology came to a crashing halt when he felt a pair of soft lips descend over his. At first, he wanted to pull away, but at the taste of a fruit punch flavored gloss, he stepped forward. Tightening his grasp on her arm, a small moan slipped from his lips. Especially as she teased his bottom lip with a playful nip.

"You looked like you needed one of them," she immediately answered for her actions.

"I... I... thank you," Brian licked his lips, actually smiling.

"Now that's the smile I remember... Even if it was for the phony media..."

"This is a real smile. And thank you for bringing it back."

"And it only took a kiss... Guess you're easy to please."

"What about your name?"

"You actually care to know it... After saying that I screwed my boss to get here... And, what exactly did you say at the park?"

"Can we just forget that and start over?"

"Before or after the kiss?"

"If I say before, can we kiss again?"

"You're persistent, I'll give you that," she laughed, gesturing toward the back of the yacht that was far less crowded.

"I know, it's something I'm actually good at," Brian smiled, placing a hand on the small of her back as they walked.

"You do realize you just did a 180..."

"Believe me, it's something I needed to do... for a long time..."

"Well, I'm glad."

"So am I. Now... what's your name?"

"Ana."

"It's nice to meet you, Ana. I'm Brian--"

"Really?" Ana teased as she pretended to swoon.

"You're funny," Brian rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

"You didn't think I was so funny in the park," Ana reminded him as she leaned on the railing, overlooking the dark ocean waters they were surfing a crossed. "And I'm sorry for putting my knee... Well, y'know..."

"I was being rude... I deserved to be put in my place," Brian dismissed the apology.

"But it didn't deserve any kind of sexual harassment. Though I suppose many women would just love to do that..."

"Not as many as you would think."

"Why do you say that?"

"Women always go after AJ or Nick. I'm the innocent Bible Boy," Brian shrugged.

"Well, I always thought you--"

"Ana! Get your little booty over here!" A voice interrupted their conversation. Looking over, Ana saw it was her editor with a big grin on her face and she groaned.

"I'm sorry Cowboy, but we're going to have to cut this conversation short. How long are you in New York?"

"I don't know... a week. Maybe two. We're doing a lot of publicity for this album."

"Well, I--"

"ANA!"

"Jeez, I'm coming!" Ana kissed Brian's cheek and smiled. "I'll see you around."

"See you..." Brian trailed off, cupping his cheek as Ana scurried away. "...Tonight in my dreams..."


~*~*~*~*~


Howie walked out of the bathroom, vigorously rubbing his wet curls with a soft towel. They had just gotten back from the Lupus celebration and everyone had retired early to their rooms. What surprised them most was that Brian smiling when they left. AJ and Nick pestered him about his good mood, but he just shrugged it off.

"You really need to just cancel my room at the next hotel we stay at. Because I always seem to be running in here all the time. And sleeping in here all the time. And loving all my time in here-- What's with that smirk?" Stephanie inquired as she stepped into Howie's room, curled tightly in a thick robe.

"You come into my room with just a robe on and you ask why I'm smirking?"

"That smirk was there before I came in..."

"Oh, that smirk. I'm just... I don't know how to explain it. Brian was smiling tonight. You don't know how long it's been since I've seen him smile."

"He was probably drunk..." Stephanie trailed, not knowing what could have possibly changed the man's disposition so rapidly. Sighing, she crossed the room to Howie's bed, falling amongst the pillows.

"Baby, he doesn't get drunk. He just takes a glass of whatever everyone's having and holds onto it for most of the night," Howie disagreed, lying down next to her.

"Well then someone must have tickled his ass or something, 'cause that was not the man I originally met with gashes--" Stephanie halted her train of thought, biting down hard on her bottom lip. "He is different..."

"What did you just say?" Howie asked softly, raising his dark brows.

"Nothing, I just wondered what could have made him so happy so quickly..."

"Stephanie, don't lie to me."

"Howie--"

"Gashes? What gashes?"

"Damnit, Howie--"

"I'll go ask Brian what you meant if--"

"No!"

"Then what are you talking about?" Howie demanded sharply.

"When Brian locks himself in the bathroom..." Stephanie trailed off, looking down at her hands. "He hurts himself."

"...He..." Howie could barely register the words. "He... How?"

"I don't know what he uses... but anything sharp... he's a cutter, Howie..."

Howie furiously shook his head. "No--"

"I saw the scars. They're all the way down his wrists. Why do you think he won't let anyone touch them?"

"Because he's touchy right now--"

"Because his body is filled with deep cuts!"

"He doesn't do that!"

"Howie, ask him to roll up his sleeves. It's almost near summer and he's wearing long sleeves. That has got to be a clue for you!"

"No, he's just... ever since his heart surgery, he stays a little cooler than--"

"Howie."

"He doesn't cut," Howie growled, pulling away when Stephanie tried to reach for him. His heart ached at the mere thought as he stood from the bed, poking his head into the hallway to see Brian walking by.

"Hey," Brian smiled, yet again clad in a long sleeve shirt as he walked towards his room.

"Hey, B... Can you c'mere?" Howie called.

"Sure. What do you need?" Brian asked, raising his eyebrows in curiosity.

"I have this shirt and it's not exactly what I was looking for. I wondered if you wanted to come in here and try it. See if it fits you?" Howie suggested, baiting Brian into his room.

"Alright. I guess I could always use another shirt," Brian agreed.

"Great," Howie approved, moving to the dresser supplied in the hotel room. Rummaging around, he pulled out a fresh t-shirt, tossing it toward Brian. "Just try it on in here."

"Oh, you said a shirt. I have plenty of t-shirts. Thanks anyway," Brian threw it back to Howie.

"What's it hurt to have a new t-shirt? C'mon."

"D, I have plenty. Give it to AJ, he's the clothing addict."

"Just try it--"

"I don't want it," Brian insisted, turning toward Stephanie with a scowl. "What did you tell him?"

"Brian--"

"What did she tell you?" Brian insisted, turning toward Howie with disgusted look. He immediately reached to tug down his long sleeves, balling the cuffs into his fists.

"She's just worried about you--"

"More like sticking her nose into my business."

"You're going to slip one day and cut too far and too hard," Stephanie interjected.

"Shut up, you stupid bitch! I don't cut!"

"BRIAN!" Howie exclaimed, reaching to yank him at the wrist.

Brian yelped in pain when Howie's fingers lanced into his battered and bleeding wrist. Falling in the direction of Howie's pull, he felt the older man yank up his shirtsleeve. He heard Howie's sharp gasp and immediately started to sob as he attempted to yank his arm away. But Howie pushed the sleeve higher.

"What the Hell are you doing, Brian?!" Howie growled with disbelief, his eyes taking in what looked like hundreds of fading scars, newly opened slices, and somewhat healing cuts. His arm was filled with the disaster of his life.

"Getting rid of the pain!" Brian sobbed, still trying to pull away from Howie's grasp. "Let me go!"

"KEVIN!" Howie screamed as he reached for Brian's other arm, pinning him to the ground.

"DON'T! PLEASE, JUST LET ME GO!" Brian tried to squirm away, but Howie wasn't having it. He glared up at Stephanie through his tears. "YOU BITCH! YOU HAD TO OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!"

"It's for your own good," Stephanie whispered, sitting back as she reached for a pillow to clutch.

"Where else have you been cutting yourself?" Howie demanded, groaning when he revealed the deeper cuts on Brian's left arm.

"I'm not--"

"What the Hell is going on in here?!" Kevin burst as he rushed into the room.

"Look at your cousin!" Howie exclaimed, holding up one of Brian's arms for Kevin's inspections. "He's been hacking himself to death!"

Kevin was rendered speechless as he looked at all the scars, some bleeding. "Oh my God... Brian!"

"GET OFF ME!" Brian howled.

"It sounds like someone's being tortured-- Holy shit!" Nick and AJ stopped short in the room.

"Where else have you been cutting?" Howie insisted upon demanding, gesturing toward Kevin and AJ to check his legs.

"GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!" Brian chanted, kicking his legs.

"Damnit, Brian," Kevin growled, pouncing on one leg to yank off his shoe, immediately beginning to roll up the leg to show off another several layers of cuts. "What the Hell are you doing this with?!"

"We've got to check his bags for razors and anything sharp," AJ replied, pinning down the other leg and sure enough revealing more cuts.

"Go clean out his bathroom, Nick. I want everything out of there," Howie demanded as Brian began to sob pitifully.

"Why can't you all just leave me alone? Leave me alone!" Brian pleaded as Nick scurried out of the room.

"These cuts are everywhere. God, what if one of them gets infected?" Howie murmured toward Kevin, unaware of the own tears racing down his cheeks.

"We're going to have to take him to the doctor... I don't know what to do," Kevin shook his head, in pure shock at what his cousin was doing to himself.

"I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Brian screamed out in tyranny.

"The Hell you're not! You need help, Brian!"

"THEN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD KNOWS!"

"IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO BRING BACK THE OLD BRIAN, SO BE IT!"


~*~*~*~*~


"I don't know what's worse, being on house arrest or not having anyone care where I go," Brian muttered, sitting in the living room and flipping through a magazine he had found on the coffee table.

A few weeks had past since Stephanie had squealed about his dangerous habit. His friends had completely torn his room apart and removed any potentionally sharp object from his grasp. They had then stole him away to an Emergency Room. Some stitches had been required for his most recent injuries done just an hour before they intervened upon him. He was put upon an antidepressant and a psychiatrist would be making several visits along the road. For now, under a suicide pact agreement, he was forbidden to go anywhere without an escort. Even now, he could feel their eyes watching him.

Suddenly his eyes stopped the bitter argument in his mind. Dark blonde curls. Brilliant sapphire eyes. It was her. Ana. She was the reason his smile came back, and his laughter.

Hurriedly flipping to the front of the magazine, his eyes widened when he read Nursing 2001. Whoever had bought a medical magazine was clearly out of their mind. Or so Brian thought until he flipped back to see Ana's adorable smile. Glancing upward, he read the caption about supporting the DLF Foundation. Then how the magazine was honoring Ana as one of their best writers. "Anastacia Lord..."

Their conversation from the yacht came back to mind and he smiled, continuing to read about Ana. He heard someone come in, but paid no attention.

"Hey, I know her," Stephanie's voice called out of nowhere, causing Brian to jerk back. And when he glanced up, he found Stephanie leaning over the back of the couch with a keen interest.

"You met her at the cruise--"

"No, I mean I know her. We used to be best friends before she moved to New York."

"What the Hell are you talking about?"

"I met Ana when I moved to Minnesota. Then two years ago, she moved to New York."

Brian glanced up skeptically. "You know her?"

"I think I just said that about three times now?"

"You have her number?"

"Why?"

"Do you have her number or not?"

"Why do you want to know?" Stephanie insisted, knowing the man loathed the very sight of her after she had told Howie about his cutting.

"Why should I tell you? You'll just run and snitch on me like you did before."

"You were hurting yourself--"

"It wasn't your damn business to tell. Do you have her number?"

"And if I do, what makes you think I'll give it to you?"

Brian groaned, throwing down the magazine. "Fuck it, then. I'll look in the damn phonebook--"

"She's unlisted."

"I can call her work--"

"They don't give out their writer's numbers."

"Why are you fucking with me?!"

"Why do you hate me so much when all I tried to do was help you?"

Brian growled with frustration, moving to roll off the couch and proceed to his room. "Just leave me alone--"

"If I give you her number... will you give me another chance?"

"No, I don't want it anymore," Brian huffed, stalking off to slam his hotel door shut.

"You'll want it later," Stephanie winced as the door slammed. It was these times with Brian where she wondered if she had done the right thing.

Exhaling a heavy breath, she moved to collapse on the couch, reaching for the magazine he had been reading. Flipping hurriedly through the pages, she located the article featuring Ana. Pieces of the puzzle seemed to fly together and lock tightly. Brian wanted her number. He had met her at the benefit. That's when he had first smiled. Sighing with relief, she reached for her cell phone. It had felt like forever since she had last contacted the younger woman.

There were a few rings and then a professional voice answered. "Anastacia Lord."

"Since when did you answer the phone so perfunctory? What happened to - What the Hell do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"I guess it's hard to remember your days in Minnesota?" Stephanie chuckled.

"Or maybe it's just hard to remember friends who don't ever call."

"Hey, it goes both ways, CT."

"I tried calling your house. No way to get in touch."

"There's my cell phone?"

"Are you calling to bitch at me?"

"No, I guess I just thought our first conversation in God knows how long would be better--"

"Well, how are you?"

Stephanie had to smile at Ana's abrupt change in subject. She hadn't changed a bit. "I'm doing great, actually. How are you, Miss Big Magazine Writer?"

"Hardly a big magazine. Nursing 2001... And 2000... And 1999..."

"Yeah, I rest my case," Stephanie chuckled, curling back onto the plush couch.

"They can fire me whenever they want."

"You're too good to get fired!"

"Have you read my stuff?"

"How could I not? You're an amazing writer."

"You mean you understand it?"

"I've learned to understand it. At first, it was a little hard with the medical terms, but now it's a piece of cake."

"Impressive," Ana cooed.

"Thank you," Stephanie cooed back, smiling. "I'll bet you'll never guess where I am right now."

"Knowing you... Probably not..."

"Hey!"

"Kidding... where are you?"

"In New York--"

"Honest to God?"

"Honest to God."

"What are you doing in New York?"

"You're never going to believe me," Stephanie smiled as Howie walked into the living room.

"Then don't tell me--"

"I won the Backstreet Boys contest!" she blurted.

"What Backstreet Boys contest?" Ana questioned with confusion, obviously letting her personal life dwindle from the seriousness of her professional life.

"CT! Have you fallen out of the loop? You didn't hear about the big contest held in New York?"

"I've been working?"

"So have I, but I still heard about it... anyway, I won!"

"What did you win?"

"Howie Dorough to be mine forever and ever--"

"Wait, wait, wait. HOWIE DOROUGH? The man who was plastered all over your room?"

"Well you don't have to go spreading that all around. But it was to get lessons from any Backstreet I wanted--"

"And you picked Howie and wooed him..."

"More or less," Stephanie giggled as Howie pulled her into his arms and kissed her neck.

"I've been working with his sister on getting a story out about the Dorough Lupus Foundation. Absolutely fantastic what he's doing with that. And his sister, Pollyanna, is an absolute doll. She gets me anything I could possibly want to include in the article."

"I think it's great that you're the one to write it. You'll do it justice."

"Thank you, just wish I could get an interview with him, y'know? But he's working so hard and I ain't about to get involved in this mess."

"You want an interview with him?" Stephanie glanced back him and smirked. "I think I can help you with that."

"...What?"

"I know Howie's schedule. I'm sure he would love to do an interview for your Lupus article."

Ana hesitated, "...What's the catch?"

"The only catch would be you have to come to our hotel. The fans caught Nick sneaking out for some snacks and now it's really hard for them to go outside."

"You want me to brave that mess?"

"No one will bother you."

"I'd rather get shot wearing a bullet proof vest..." Ana hesitated once more. "...Is Brian going to be there?"

Stephanie smiled, knowing that Ana would take the bait. "Yes, he will be here."

"I met him in the park... And then at the cruise..."

"So you're the reason he began smiling again."

"What?"

"If you met him at the cruise, you know he went through a lot. After that night, he began smiling again."

Ana laughed, "You are so full of shit--"

"You come here and you'll see for yourself."

"I'm coming for an interview."

"What, you're not allowed to socialize?" Stephanie chuckled. All work and no play seemed to describe Ana's life to a tee.

"Hardly."

"You always did work yourself too much, CT."

"Stephanie, don't start--"

"Can you be here in an hour? The Boys are free for the rest of the night."

"Are you serious?"

"You wanted an interview, right? This is the perfect time."

"But... I... Okay, let me just get dressed--"

"If you come over here in business attire, I'm going to have a heart attack. This isn't formal. Just get over here in your normal clothes."

"Stephanie--"

"Normal clothes. I'll see you in an hour. The concierge will know you're coming. Bye, CT! Love you!" Stephanie hung up before Ana could object.

"So... tell me again about this interview I'm doing?" Howie chuckled as Stephanie placed her cell phone on the end table. He had no problem doing one, especially since it was for his charity, but he also knew something was up his girlfriend's sleeve.

"You know how your sister's been working with that nursing magazine to promote your foundation?" Stephanie explained as she pulled Howie onto the couch, wasting no time in making him wrap his arms around her.

"Yeah, they've been doing an awesome job," Howie nodded, kissing the back of her head.

"She's only been working with one writer, y'know?"

"Okay..."

"Hasn't your sister mentioned it?"

"All she tells me is that she and the writer are taking care of it for me. I haven't heard anything else about it until now."

"Her name's Ana."

"Baby, you're going to have to help me out here," Howie shrugged helplessly.

"Ana used to live in Minnesota. Then she went to college for nursing and journalism and moved to New York to live. We've kept in touch, but not much. Brian was looking through that nursing magazine and saw her name. So, I thought of her and had to call. She's the one that's doing all the DLF work. The one that's going to interview you later."

"Oh! You've talked about her before," Howie nodded in remembrance.

"No one would ever know you acted like Nick behind the camera..." Stephanie snickered.

"Hey--"

"I love you?" Stephanie leaned back and began kissing his jaw line.

"I love you, too, but--"

"But what?"

"There's something you're not telling me."

"What do you mean?" she asked innocently.

"You know exactly what I mean," Howie warned, keeping his lips just mere centimeters away from hers.

"You can't tell Brian. I want it to be a surprise," Stephanie whispered, aching for a kiss. They were like a drug, and sometimes she just couldn't get enough.

"Why?" he questioned, leaning backward as she moved forward.

"Because..."

"Because?"

"Because Ana is the girl Brian met in the park and at the party."

"He met a girl?"

"That girl Nick was talking about to give Brian a hard time? The bangin' woman with dangerous curves, as Nick so aptly called her?"

"Oh, gotcha!"

"Sometimes I worry about you--"

"At least she's worrying about someone else for a change," Brian's mutter interrupted the potential lovemaking as he stalked back for the kitchen.

Stephanie clenched her jaw and exhaled through her teeth. "He's never going to forgive me."

"You did what was right," Howie reminded her.

"Yeah..." She ran a hand through her long locks, glancing out the large window.

"It'll be okay, Stephie."

"I hope so," She curled into a ball and buried her face in his chest. It always felt safe in his arms.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Then don't get so upset."

"I can't help it, Brian--"

"Will find his way."

"He'll--"

"Forgive you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know Brian."

"But--"

"How about we take a bath to relax before the interview?"

"Are you going to love on me too?"

"If you want--"

"Always!" Stephanie invited, reaching to pull him up by the shirt.

"I guess I should suggest this more often," Howie chuckled as they ran into their private bathroom and locked the door.


~*~*~*~*~


Ana smiled with honest triumph as she reached forward to end the tape recording. Tossing it into her messenger bag, she then folding up her notebook and pen, she tossed those in as well. Glancing toward Howie, she offered her hand. She had spent the last hour with the man going over his history with starting DLF. It would give a humanist perspective on her article. And she couldn't help but grin toward Stephanie with a look of sheer appreciation. "Thank you so much for the interview. You can't imagine how much this has helped me."

"It's no problem. Thank you for writing this article in the first place... the more people know about it all, the better," Howie smiled. Ana was a very charming woman and he could see why Stephanie was friends with her.

"Sorry I came here in rags though. Stephanie didn't give me any choice in the matter," Ana apologized once more, gesturing down to her faded and torn, flared blue jeans and gray racerback tank top. Her dark blonde curls were tossed into a high ponytail as the flyaways were secured by a pair of sunglasses, though it looked as if it were about to storm.

"You look better in regular clothes!" Stephanie objected from the kitchen, grinning.

"Like she knows, she hasn't seen me in forever, nor has she seen me in professional attire," Ana scoffed with a playful roll of her eyes.

"I have, too! In the magazine you look all stuffy in that zoot suit thing," Stephanie retorted, coming out with two bottles of water and a bottle of Pepsi.

"Zoot suit?"

"It sounded good in my head," Stephanie shrugged as she handed Ana the Pepsi.

"Thank you," Ana politely replied, taking the Pepsi and cracking open the top. She took a long, hearty gulp before reaching for her messenger bag. "It was honestly wonderful meeting you, Mr. Dorough. But I should be going. I don't want to waste any more of your time."

"Please, call me Howie."

"Alright, but I still think I should go--"

"After you just got here?" Stephanie whined, searching furiously for any signs of Brian. As soon as Ana had arrived, it seemed as if the men had dispersed, though Stephanie knew that if Brian had known, he would have been here. Somewhere.

"Did I mention her whining just kills me?" Ana suggested toward Howie.

"No, but I do know what you mean," Howie chuckled.

"No bonding over my flaws!" Stephanie warned.

"But it's oh-so-much-fun, Cocci--"

"Cocci?" Howie questioned.

"Oh, let her explain this one," Stephanie mused, collapsing on Howie's lap.

"No thanks," Ana answered, sliding the messenger bag over her shoulder.

"Aw come on, CT! Please?"

"When I was taking Microbiology, we had to name stupid specific bacterias. One is called Staphlococci... So, it kind of transferred into Stephlococci. Then Cocci..." Ana explained with a soft blush.

"I love that nickname," Stephanie smiled.

"She's nuts."

"But I love her," Howie reminded Ana.

"I know, but I really should be going," Ana answered, nodding toward Howie and Stephanie. "It was great to see you again, Cocci. Call me again." Turning, she moved toward the door, not expecting it to open as she fell backward.

"Holy shit, I'm sorry!" Brian cursed, leaning down to help the woman. "Wait a minute... Ana?!"

"Do you always have to land me on my ass?" Ana groaned in shock.

"I'm sorry!" Brian grasped her hands and got her up on her feet.

"No more throwing me to the floor. My health insurance doesn't cover a broken tail bone--"

"It won't happen again... what are you doing here?"

"I was interviewing Howie for the article I'm doing on DLF..." Ana explained softly, taking a step back as she released his hands.

"Oh. I knew I would see you again, but I didn't expect it to be here..."

"You knew you'd see me again?" she questioned with confusion, noticing Howie pulling Stephanie into their hotel room.

"No, not like that... I'm not a stalker. I meant, you know Polly and so do I... no wait... I--"

"I forgot how cute you are," Ana laughed.

"Does that make up for me acting like an idiot just now?"

"I think it's the idiocy that makes you cute," Ana promised with a sweet smile, reaching to brush her fingers against the side of his cheek. "I couldn't stop thinking about you..."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you, either... I kicked myself every night after that for not getting your number," Brian gently took her hand into his.

"I could have kicked you, too," Ana teased good-naturedly, glancing toward their intertwined fingers. It had definitely been a chance encounter. First meeting under complete hostility only to leave him with a kiss on the second. Now, the third, her good friend was dating one of his good friends. What were the chances? Honestly?

"Now I can make up for it... do you want to do something?"

"What would you want to do?" Ana inquired, not ready for the door to the suite to come flying open once more. Meeting Brian's backside, the door caused him to fly forward against her. She was crushed against him as three men came hurrying inside. Blushing furiously when they stopped to gaze at her with confusion, she shyly waved. "I better go."

"IT'S THE BANGING CHICK!" Nick exclaimed.

"Oh Lord..." Brian covered his eyes as Ana's widened.

"Banging chick?" Ana questioned in confusion.

"That day in the park... I didn't know, but Nick followed me and hid in the bushes. He saw you..."

"Cute..." Ana murmured.

"We're still trying to reprogram him, but there's some kinks--"

"Hey!"

"It's nice to meet you, Nick," Ana stated otherwise with a smile.

"Umm... uh..."

"You're supposed to say 'Nice to meet you, too' dumbass," AJ whispered.

"Nice to meet you too, dumbass."

"No!"

"What?!"

"Nick, you are such a damn dumbass--"

"And you must be AJ?" Ana interrupted, still smiling.

"The one and only!" AJ piped, reaching to give her a warm hug.

"I knew I was right," Ana chuckled, patting his back as they parted. "But, as I was telling Brian, I should go--"

"Lord no! Stay!" AJ invited warmly.

"Are you sure?"

"She said she was busy, guys," Kevin discouraged suddenly, carefully eyeing the entire situation. Though, what he was concentrating on was Brian's loving gaze upon Ana. He could only remember the bandages beneath the man's shirtsleeves, knowing he wasn't ready for another relationship.

"Yeah, I... I should go..." Ana trailed off, feeling a bad vibe from Kevin's gaze upon her.

"No, wait," Nick insisted.

"No, I really should go. Brian, you can ask Cocci for my number if you want it. And it was nice meeting you all," Ana slid down her sunglasses and walked out the door.

"What was that..." AJ trailed in bewilderment as he heard the distant rumble of thunder.

"She had to go. What does it matter?" Kevin replied as he walked into the kitchen.

"Didn't you like her?" Howie questioned as he popped out of his room.

"Does it matter if I did?" Kevin retorted.

"I meant Brian..."

"Yeah, I like her... why?"

"Then why did you let her leave?!"

"'Cause she said she had to go..." Brian trailed, the foyer flickering with a burst of lightning.

"Go with her!"

"Excuse me?"

"Go with her! Get to know her!" Stephanie piped up from behind Howie.

"She didn't tell me to go--"

"That means she wants you to! Brian, go get her!"

"How does that possibly--"

"Brian, you need laid," AJ groaned, pushing him toward the door.

"But I'm not looking for--"

"GO!"

"Would you stop pressuring him?" Kevin growled.

"Damn, what's up your ass?" Nick blurted, glancing at the older man. "We're trying to help!"

"He needs to stay here with us," Kevin insisted, gesturing toward the living room. "Let's go, Brian. We'll order dinner."

"Kevin--"

"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you'll go after her," Stephanie interjected.

"I'm going after her," Brian headed for the door.

Kevin groaned. "Brian there are tons of fans--"

"She parked a block out from the back of the building," Stephanie answered with a grin.

Brian smiled back, opening the door. "Thanks, Steph."

"Hurry," she insisted with a squeal.

Nodding enthusiastically, Brian hurried out of the hotel suite, deciding to take the stairs instead of the elevator. He took them as fast as he possibly could, not worried about the aching muscles in his chest as he took flight by flight. Sprinting when he hit the first floor, he raced toward the back door, never bothering to warn security. Instead, he burst into the already pouring rain, noticing a huddled figure crossing the grass to an expensive car. "ANA!" Brian screamed at the top of his lungs, over the thunder, his heart pounding as he ran. Never expecting to trip and send her falling backward into a puddle when she turned.

"BRIAN!"

"Umm... oops?" Brian offered a shy grin as the rain continued to pour down on them.

"What happened to never sending me down on my ass again?" she growled with disbelief, attempting to wipe the mud from her face.

"I'm sorry, I tripped! I didn't mean to... God, this was not how I pictured this..."

"And how did you picture this made-for-TV-moment?" she questioned, realizing he was straddling her as she leaned to spit muddy water from her mouth.

"More like... me running to sweep you into my arms gracefully before leaving with you?" Brian leaned down to help her wipe away the mud.

"Well, you slammed me in a mudhole."

"I know, I'm really sorry--"

"It's okay," she laughed, reaching to grasp his damp shirt, pulling him down so he was splattered in mud.

"Your philosophy is 'Payback's a bitch'... isn't it?" he groaned, feeling the mud soak into his shirt.

"Or maybe I just like you dirty?" she purred against the side of his face.

"Oh yeah?" he smirked as she kissed a clean spot on his cheek.

"It sounded good to me," she agreed, nipping that same spot before sucking to leave a passionate mark.

"Can... can we head to your place?"

"My place?" Ana questioned with surprise, leaning back into the mud. "What are we going to do there?"

"Get out of the rain? And get to know each other better?"

"Are you suggesting--"

"Nothing bad! I just want to spend time with you."

"Well... That's a shame..." Ana sighed, moving to pull herself out from under him.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Nothing," she promised, reaching for the grass as leverage.

"Now wait a damn minute," Brian grabbed her hips and brought her back down, their eyes locked.

"Brian!" she squealed in shock as he imprinted her back into the mud.

"I'm really attracted to you, Anastacia Lord. I have been since I first... well, since I first ran into you," Brian positioned himself over her. "I'm trying to be completely honest and I'm not expecting anything out of tonight. I just want to see where fate takes us."

"You're leaving this up to fate?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then, how about you let me up so we can leave?"


~*~*~*~*~


"Don't mind my house. I'm hardly ever home, so it's an absolute mess. And when I'm home, all I'm doing is sleeping," Ana warned as she unlocked her front door and pushed it open carefully. Stepping inside, she immediately removed her dirt caked shoes and then ducked to help Brian with his. Once they were off, she waded in her soaked jeans to find the light switch, flooding lights into her cozy home. Brian wasn't surprised to find it in a state of disarray, seeming to match her personality perfectly. Her rooms were trimmed in purples, blues, and greens. Sweet and homey with a variety of medical books, fictional books, CDs, and DVDs and their accompanied systems cluttering the home. "I know it ain't that nice--"

"Nope. It's perfect and I like it," Brian smiled as she stumbled through the mess to find them some dry clothes.

"You're definitely leaving this to fate then," she guessed with a laugh, finally locating a basket of unfolded, clean clothing. Rooting around, she located two pairs of sweat pants, two t-shirts, and some boxers. "You want to get cleaned up in the bathroom and I'll use the sink in the kitchen?"

"Sure," Brian grabbed his respected clothes and went into the bathroom. He quickly pulled off his jeans, socks and boxers to lay them over the shower rod and then slipped into the clean items. He looked at the t-shirt and then his wrists for a moment. Sighing, he took off the long sleeved shirt and cleaned the mud off.

Wetting a rag beneath steamy water, Brian assessed his skin for patches of caked mud. He scrubbed furiously to rid the evidence of his mistake, but only found the remaining evidence of his past mistakes. Dark lines tainted his skin and he had to resist the urge to gag. Hurriedly slipping on the boxers and sweat pants, he reached for his still damp long sleeved shirt. He couldn't show her those things. She'd run.

Slipping the shirt back on, Brian came out of the bathroom and didn't see Ana anywhere. Figuring she was still in the kitchen, he quietly padded down the hallway and heard water running.

Sure enough, Ana was poised on the counter beside her sink, her bare legs stuffed in her sink. She was scrubbed furiously to rid the dirt, her boxers hiked up high upon her thighs. Her dark blonde curls were wrapped in a high, messy bun and she had the t-shirt bunched over her thin frame. She was adorable as she poked the tip of her tongue out of the side of her mouth in silent concentration.

"Need some help?" Brian spoke up after admiring her for a long moment.

"With mud?" she questioned, immediately gripping the lip of the sink to keep her from falling to the ground.

"Either that or making sure you don't fall," he quickly walked over and helped her steady.

"Didn't my shirt fit you?" she questioned with a thankful smile, reaching to continue washing her legs. "I thought my boobs would have stretched it out--"

"I'm a little cold, so I'm just going to wear this. Thank you for the boxers and pants, though."

"But that's still wet, so you'd be warmer in a t-shirt--"

Brian silenced her with a kiss, hoping to get her mind off his shirt. "Thank you, but I'm fine."

"Alright," she trailed in surprise, leaning back. "I can't even get you a sweatshirt?"

"Let's get you cleaned up first," he grabbed the cloth and began helping her.

"That could be so damn kinky if it wasn't for the Bible Boy helping me," she teased lightly, using a fresh washcloth to wipe the remaining grime from her face. She then scrubbed her arms as Brian worked on her legs, feeling his fingers lightly trace against her thighs.

"I'm not as innocent as everyone thinks," he rolled his eyes with a chuckle, leaning over to nibble on her neck for a moment as he continued to clean her legs.

"Oh really?" she inquired with a soft giggle, casting her cloth aside once her arms were a creamy peach color again.

"Really," he whispered against her skin, throwing the other cloth behind him and hefting Ana into his arms.

"Where are you taking me?" she squealed in surprise.

"I should have asked first... where's your bedroom?"

"Upstairs and last door on your right--"

Brian broke her directions with a hard kiss as he carried her up the stairs. Following the long hallway, he reached the last door on his right and kicked it open. Proceeding into her cluttered bedroom, he laid her down upon the unmade bed. Wasting no time, he covered her body with his, finding the curve of her neck. "Is it okay?"

"Is what okay?" she whispered, arching against him in surprise.

"Your door."

"I'm sure you didn't break it," she laughed softly, though it quickly turned into a moan as he reached her spot.

"What about this?" he inquired when he felt her shudder.

"You should already know that answer," she sighed.

"I'm sorry... it's been awhile since--"

"We don't have to do this if you don't--"

"I do! I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?" she laughed softly. "I have nothing to compare you to."

Brian stopped and looked down at her in surprise. "...Are you a virgin?"

"...Yes..." she trailed softly.

"And you want me to be your first?"

"I haven't stopped you, have I?"

"Well, no--"

"If you don't want to be my first that's fine--"

"No, I do! I just wanted to make sure that it's what you want, too."

"I want to," she promised, bringing him down for a soft kiss. She had never been more sure of anything in her life. He began to relax, his hands roaming up and down her smooth body.

"It's been awhile for you?" she guessed softly, feeling his hesitant touches.

"Yeah... I'm sorry if I--"

"You're doing just fine, sweetheart. Don't be nervous."

"How is it that the virgin is consoling me?"

"Because I've watched a lot of porno?" she teased, hoping for a laugh when she reached to remove his shirt. That is, till he firmly caught her wrists, scaring her slightly. "What'd I do?"

"You... you don't want to do that..." he shook his head.

"Why?" she questioned, attempting to pull her wrists away from his vice like grip.

"You'll be disgusted."

"Why?" she repeated, moving to sit up.

"I did some things that I'm ashamed of... I don't want to scare you."

"Then we don't..." Ana cooed softly when she noticed the heavy tears making a trail down his face. Reaching over, she brushed a few tears away with her thumb. "We don't have to do this, Brian. I'm sorry."

"I want to be intimate with you... more than anything... I just..."

"I don't understand what I did wrong..."

"No, no, no, it's nothing you did," Brian quickly reassured her, wiping his face. He took a shaky breath and pulled off his shirt.

"Brian..." Ana trailed, her breath turning into a sharp gasp when she realized what he was talking above. His arms were filled with numerous amounts of scratches, each varying in length and depth. His wrists were bandaged tightly, so she knew those were the freshest. Tears immediately gathered in her eyes as she leaned to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"I... I thought if you saw these... you wouldn't want to pursue anything with me... they're so ugly..." Brian sniffled, knuckling some tears away.

"It's not like that," Ana disagreed, reaching to run her fingers lightly along his arms. "They'll heal..."

"You're not freaked out by them?"

"Should I be?"

"No, but I thought--"

"I'm attracted to you, Brian Littrell. You went through a hard time and now you're finally beginning to heal. I find that even more endearing."

"Ana--"

"Everyone has their share of scars. Yours are just on the outside," she whispered, leaning to gently kiss his shoulder.

"Ana," Brian whimpered.

"You don't like this?" she inquired softly, dropping her kisses to his upper arm.

"I do... more than anything..."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No..."

"Are you sure?" she promised as she nibbled against the crook of his elbow.

"Yes."

"You'll tell me to stop if you don't--"

"Don't stop... please, Ana."

"Okay," she promised, raining her kisses along his forearm. Then, turning to face his palm upward, she kissed the very center. Smiling up at him, she nipped his fingers then moved to kiss his chest. Across his collarbone, her tongue flicked rapidly, starting the same trail of kisses against his opposite shoulder.

Brian moaned softly at her gentle kisses, nips and touches. It had been so long since he had been intimate with a woman, and he was so thankful that it was with Ana.

"You enjoying this?" she inquired softly as she guided his arms around her shoulders. Leaning close, she whispered his name softly before greeting his lips with her own.

"So much," he whispered between kisses, gently pushing her back onto the bed.

"Just don't leave New York without saying goodbye," she suggested hopefully, taking a deep breath as his hands slid underneath her shirt.

"I won't, I promise," he caressed her soft skin for a moment before pulling her shirt off.

"I can handle being a fling. Just don't forget to say goodbye," she told him as she held her breath, not knowing how he'd comment her body.

"You're more than just a fling to me... God, you're so beautiful..."

Ana blushed crimson as his thumbs hooked in her boxers. "Brian--"

"You're beautiful, Ana. Flawless in every way," Brian leaned down and kissed her, swiftly pulling her boxers off and throwing them onto the floor.

"And you were just so ready to throw me out of the park," Ana laughed with the irony, feeling his erection beneath his sweatpants as he laid over her.

"A run-in with fate can change a person for the better," Brian smiled.

"We're talking about four run-ins," she reminded him, reaching for the tie of his sweatpants

"Okay... replace 'a' with 'four'," he chuckled, helping her peel the pants off.

"When do you leave New York?" she asked softly, reaching inside his boxers to gently stroke his warming erection.

"In... oh God... in about two... two weeks," he moaned, shuddering in pure joy from her touch.

"So, I have you for two weeks?" Ana repeated, chewing on her bottom lip as she eased his boxers down.

"Physically, yes. But I would like to stay in touch..."

"By phone?" she guessed as he fell between her legs, poised at the tip of her entrance. "As friends?"

"Phone, email, letters. Everything."

"Okay," she promised softly. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her, carefully pushing himself inside at the same time.

"Wait..." Ana warned once he was positioned within her, grasping his shoulders to keep him from moving. Slowly, she moved beneath him to become accommodated to his length and thickness. She wasn't prepared for the pain he brought, nor aware of the tears slicking down her wet cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Baby. Do you want me to stop?" Brian kissed away her tears. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her pain.

"No," she whispered softly, feeling a sharp tear from within. "I'm okay. Just slow, please?"

"I will, I promise." he kept his word and began to slowly move in and out.

"Oh God," she murmured with a soft moan, digging her nails into his back for leverage.

"Ana... baby..." was all he could say, kissing her collarbone as he continued his gentle pace.

"A little faster," she requested with a sweet pant, arching against him to send his erection deeper into her core. It relinquished a soft whimper from deep inside her. Her lips feverishly seeking out his for a thankful kiss.

"Mmm," he moaned into her mouth, picking up his speed but not too much. There were feelings rushing through him that he had never felt with any other woman.

"Stay with me tonight?" she hoped with a heavy whimper.

"Tonight and every night I can," he sealed his promise with a kiss, connecting them in ways only Heaven could describe.

The sun peeked through the shades and right into Brian's eyelids. He screwed them shut and buried his face into a pillow but he was already awake. Groaning, he opened his eyes and smiled at the sight in front of him. Ana was nestled against his bare chest, her cheeks rosy pink from their night of lovemaking. The sun made her dark blonde curls glow, giving her the appearance of an angel.

Holding a breath, he willed himself to hold still lest he wake the beauty cuddled so sweetly against him. He inhaled the soft aroma of her rose shampoo, suddenly thanking God that he had chased her into the rain. He couldn't have asked for a better present than the one above him. Releasing a soft breath, he wrapped his bare arms around her, leaning to kiss the side of her face. And, he had to smile when he felt the light sensation of eyelashes fluttering against his bare skin.

"You still here?" she slurred softly with a yawn.

"How could I leave a sleeping beauty such as yourself alone after the amazing night we had?"

"I figured you had something Backstreet-ish to do," she whispered, turning to snuggle against his side and pull the tangled blankets over her head.

"Not today. We have the day off to do whatever... or whomever... we want," he chuckled, pulling the blankets away.

"Brian... I want to sleep," she whined.

"Why sleep when you have me in your bed?" Brian pouted against the bare skin of her shoulder.

"'Cause you were in my bed last night--"

"And I'm still in your bed now. Doesn't that count for something?"

"What do you want to do?" she murmured sleepily, keeping her eyes closed though she reached behind her shoulder to play with his sandy locks.

"Make love?"

"We made love six times last night... don't you get tired?" she groaned with a laugh.

"Not since I met you..."

"Brian..." Ana trailed, shifting onto her back so she could stare into his light blue eyes. "...You're serious aren't you?" The lightness of his eyes shocked her. They were so different compared to the park. He had been so desperate and alone. Yet here, in her bed, he was frisky and alive. It was miraculous.

"Completely," Brian smiled brightly.

"You're so different," she whispered, turning her head to kiss his forearm.

"You helped me so much."

"Me? How?"

"Because..." he whispered, shivering as she nipped at the crease of his elbow.

"How?" she inquired once more, leaning up to kiss him good morning.

"Because... because you gave me hope."

"But how?" she nibbled on his bottom lip.

"I honestly didn't think I would find anyone to complete me after Leighanne left. Then I ran into you and I realized I was wrong."

She drew back slightly in surprise, finding his light blue eyes. "Complete you?"

"Yes. Complete me."

"Brian..."

"Ana, I know I'm going to be traveling a lot... but I don't want to lose what we've created. I want to be with you, and I will do anything to make it happen."

"I don't see how we can--"

"Kevin and Kristin do it. I know we can."

"Are you sure?" she whispered softly, staring at her hands, suddenly so unsure of herself.

"I'm positive," he cupped her chin and made her look into his eyes.

"We can try."

"And we'll succeed," he smiled, kissing her deeply.

"I hope so."

"I know--"

"And the phone calls begin," Ana sighed as a soft chirping noise sounded beside her bed. Crawling toward the edge of her large bed, she leaned down to search the piles of clothing for her cordless phone. Feeling Brian's lips on the small of her back as she found the phone, she squealed. "Hello?!"

"Good morning, star shine! The Earth says 'Hello'!" Stephanie's voice giggled from the other end.

"Hey," Ana greeted, mouthing the name 'Stephanie' to Brian as she rolled back onto her bed.

"You got laid, didn't you?"

"Say what--"

"Whenever I used to call you and say that same line, you would call me crazy and that if I wanted to see another day that I would call back after twelve."

"Are you saying that virgins are uptight bitches?" Ana questioned with confusion as Brian trailed his kisses down her stomach, causing her to shiver.

"No! I meant that you must have a good reason to be so chipper in the morning?"

"Pepsi?"

"You're never up this early for Pepsi."

"Does it matter why--" Ana's voice turned to a soft squeal as Brian nibbled her inner thigh.

"Okay, don't do that to each other when you're on the phone with me!"

"Do what?" Ana inquired innocently.

"I heard that squeal, Miss Lord."

"It was a mouse scurrying--"

"Oh, don't feed me that bullshit," Stephanie scoffed, though Ana could see her grinning. "How was it... being your first time and all?"

"Do I really have to talk about it with him in the room?" Ana whined softly as Brian's lips moved up the crevice between her breasts.

"Okay, fine... either come over or call later and give me the details?"

"He might be turned on by the details," Ana suddenly purred.

"Oh, no... you're purring... don't you dare do anything with me on the phone!"

"Does that mean you're hanging up?"

"Will you call later?"

"If I'm conscious?"

"I'll just wait a few hours and call," Stephanie chuckled softly. "Have fun, CT."

"Thank you," Ana crooned, hanging up the phone before removing the batteries from the back. Tossing the batteries one way and the phone the other, she glanced up expectantly at Brian. "Good?"

"Perfect," Brian smiled, covering his bare body over hers as they kissed softly.

"Will you stay the night again?" she asked hopefully, wrapping her arms around him.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"Except maybe having me locked to your bed in your fancy hotel room?" she guessed, leaning to nibble on his neck.

"That... that would be something to try--"

"Brian!" she laughed in surprise.

"What?" he smiled innocently.

"Domination?"

"Not exactly domination... tying up and blindfolding someone can heighten their other senses."

"Sounds exciting..." Ana trailed with a soft purr.

"Yeah?"

"Are we trying it?" she questioned against his throat, her hands slipping down his bare body.

"Do you have any scarves or bandana's?"

"I'm sure we can find some... somewhere..."

"In this mess?"

"Hey now," Ana laughed, rolling him onto his back so she could straddle his waist. "Be nice."

"I'm being nice... and to make up for a jab at your room... I'll help you clean it later?" Brian rested his hands on her bare hips.

"You just want to steal some of my underwear," Ana decided with a wicked grin as she leaned over him to nibble at his chest.

"I did see a pair of blue ones that--"

"God, don't tell me you'd wear them--"

"No, no, no... AJ or Nick would, but not me," Brian chuckled, bringing their lips together for a kiss.

Ana pulled away with an incredulous look. "You'd let them wear my underwear?!"

"No! I meant that if they ever found women's underwear, they would wear it!"

"Brian, you just gave me a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry, Baby!" he chuckled, bringing her down for a hug.

"You owe me," she demanded.

"Anything you want."

Ana thought about the possibilities as she snuggled against his bare chest. She could feel the heat from his arousal beginning to grow. But she angled her possibilities. Money, diamonds, sapphires, cars, clothes-- "I want you."

"That's all?"

"That's all I'll ever need."

Brian released a tight breath. "Really?"

"If you'll let me..."

"Ana..."

"Honestly," Ana answered softly as she moved to sit beside him, playing idly with her fingers. "I don't want anything from you but you. Your mind, body, and soul. I'll invest myself into you... If you want me to."

"I want that... more than anything."

Ana glanced toward him with a small smile. "You mean it?"

"I mean it with everything I am," Brian reached up and cupped her cheek.

"Make love to me, please."

"Anything for you," Brian brought her into his arms, their bodies blending as one in the sunlight.


~*~*~*~*~


"This is getting ridiculous. He's been with that tramp for almost thirty-six hours. He won't answer his cell phone; her home phone is off the hook... I knew she was nothing but trouble!" Kevin grumbled, pacing out of his room through the living room to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water and chugged half of it down.

He couldn't believe that Brian had just left the house with a woman that he barely knew. More importantly, that Kevin didn't know. He had been under strict house arrest because of his cutting habit, yet the others thought it was perfectly fine to let him spend the night with a strange woman? He suddenly wondered what she was doing to him. If Brian was going to be hurt again. The thoughts made his rage bubble over as he reached for the phone once more.

He dialed Brian's phone and was immediately greeted with his voicemail.

Hey, you've reached B-Rok's cell phone. Leave a message after the beep and I'll--

Brian! You gotta hide me! Kevin just found out I put honey in his shampoo!

Damnit, Nick! I'm leaving my-- BEEP!

"Brian! Where the Hell are you? You're supposed to be in this hotel with us, not gallivanting around with some loose--" Kevin released a loud growl as Nick loped into the room. "Call me."

"Still can't get a hold of Rok?" Nick asked, plopping onto the couch.

"No and he's so dead when he steps into this house," Kevin grunted.

"What's the big deal? Ana seemed like a nice girl. Steph knows her and she's a good judge of people--"

"Do you honestly think he needs to be out with a woman after we just found out he's been hacking himself to death? A woman, mind you, who just let a complete stranger into her house for the whole night?"

"Brian's met Ana before. She's the banging chick from the park and DLF cruise! He needed to get over Leighanne... as long as it's not dangerous, who cares?"

"This is dangerous."

"You're just being a paranoid old man--"

"Shut the fuck up, Nick."

"What?! You are," Nick scoffed, flipping through a magazine. "For once in over a year, Brian is actually happy. And you want to ruin it?"

"He's happy because his dick is getting covered, but he needs some cleaner bait."

"Whatever, you're being paranoid and a killjoy."

"And you would be paranoid too if he was your cousin."

"He's my best friend."

"And you let him go out with a complete stranger. And what if he does become attached to this bitch? And she breaks his heart? It's going to send him right back into cutting. Only this time we'll be looking at him from a damn casket!"

"Ana's not a bitch!"

"Like you know!"

"Like you know!"

"I don't give a flying fuck what you say, he's not seeing her."

"You can't control him!"

"I know what's best for him."

"I know what's best for him."

"Bullshit."

"Nick, I'm not getting into this with you."

"Brian won't let you make his decisions."

"He doesn't have a choice."

"You're not his father. He's a damn adult--"

"I'm the closet thing he's got to a father right now and he will listen."

"Kevin--"

"Enough," Kevin growled, hearing the front door open followed by Brian's joyous laugh. Vaulting from the couch, Kevin hurriedly lumbered toward the door. "Brian, damnit, what the Hell do you think--" His voice dropped when he saw Brian push Ana against the nearby wall to attack her with a passionate kiss. Kevin's stomach violently lurched. "What the Hell is she doing here?!"

"Spending the day with me?" Brian raised his light brows as their kiss broke and he glanced at his cousin. "What's wrong with that?"

"Here?" Kevin snorted.

"No, up on the roof. Of course here--"

"Her?" Kevin repeated, glancing over Ana with a flicker of disgust in his emerald eyes.

"Maybe I should just go?" Ana suggested softly, brushing her hand gently down Brian's arm. She had seen that glare when she first met Kevin and frankly wasn't comfortable with it.

"No. I want you to stay," Brian shook his head and glared at his cousin. "What the Hell is up your ass, Kev? Can't stand to see me happy again?"

"We need to talk privately," Kevin insisted, his lips turning into a slight grin of satisfaction when Ana pulled away from Brian.

"There's nothing to talk about," Brian turned around and took Ana's hand, pulling her towards his room.

Ana flinched as Brian took her past Kevin. "Brian, wait--"

"He can't control who I'm with or what I do with them--"

Kevin reached to grab his cousin's upper arm, jerking him back with Ana in tow. "And what the fuck have you been doing with her?!"

"Let go of my arm," Brian replied, staying calm as he shielded Ana. "It's none of your business what we do privately."

"Please tell me you used a condom?"

"Please tell me you know me well enough to know the answer?"

"I think she'd be sleazy enough to make you ride bareback to get pregnant."

"Okay, this conversation is over, asshole," Brian ripped his arm out of Kevin's grasp and yet again began escorting Ana to his room.

"Brian, I think I should go," Ana whispered softly toward Brian, flinching again as she passed Kevin, swearing he had his hand raised against her.

"No, you don't have to. Kevin has no control over who I see," Brian shook his head. "Please, Ana."

"He doesn't like me--"

"I like you. Isn't that what matters?"

"Well, yes--"

"Then don't worry about Kevin," Brian opened his door and let them in, locking it behind him. "He'll get over it sooner or later."

"You mean before or after I'm six feet under the ground..." Ana murmured as Brian wrapped his arms around her, leading her toward the bed till they fell upon it.

"Nothing will ever happen to you, Ana. I'll make sure of that," Brian kissed the tip of her nose.

"That's 'cause you're going to keep me in bed all day."

"Do you have any objections to that?"

Ana looked as if she were giving serious thought to the question. "Well--"

Brian silenced her with a breathtaking kiss, as if to make the decision for her.


~*~*~*~*~


"Guess what Brian is doing tonight," Howie announced as he appeared in his hotel room to find Stephanie pouring over a novel she had just recently bought. She glanced up from the pages with a curious smile, but Howie said nothing more as he crawled into bed. It was already ten in the evening and for the most part, everyone had straggled to bed. Except for Kevin, who was waiting for Brian. But that was an entirely different story.

"Um... running away to Vegas with Ana to get married?" Stephanie guessed, putting a bookmark in its place and setting the novel on the nightstand.

"I thought you threatened Ana that she needs to have a real wedding so you can be the maid of honor?"

"I know. I'm horrible at guessing and I wanted you to tell me."

"Try again."

"But Howie--"

"C'mon."

"Taking Ana out for a night on the town?"

"The whole entire night... To a romantic restaurant, then a drive in a limo around town, then to a private bed and breakfast on the outskirts of town."

"Really?!"

"He called me earlier to let me know so we wouldn't worry."

"I'll bet Kevin's having a fit right now."

"A royal fit..."

"Oh, well. He's just going to have to get used to it," Stephanie shrugged, pulling off her t-shirt to reveal a form fitting tank top.

"That's what Brian said," Howie chuckled, catching her hand as she leaned to turn out the light. "Don't. I like watching you."

"You do?"

"I love to."

"...Okay," Stephanie blushed softly, her pigtails offering more innocence.

"Have I told you you're beautiful today?"

"Actually, no--"

"You're beautiful."

"So are you," Stephanie teased as she pulled off her sweatpants.

"Beautiful?"

"Why can't a guy be beautiful?"

"Because then he'd be homosexual?"

"Oh get off your machismo--"

"My what?"

"Machismo. Your... manliness?"

"Get off your dictionary how 'bout it?"

"Touchy, touchy," Stephanie clicked her tongue with a giggle.

"I'll touchy, touchy you," he growled, tackling her.

"Hey! No, no! No touchy there! Howie!" she burst out in giggles as he tickled her sides.

"You asked for it!"

"Not fair! Uncle! I give up!" she panted heavily, squirming as he continued his torture.

"Uncle doesn't work!"

"What does?!"

"Nothing!"

"HOWIE!"

"Stephanie!" he mimicked.

"No cookie for you tonight!" she gasped through giggles.

"Cookie?"

"Sounded better than nookie?"

"You're an honest to God goofball."

"But a loveable goofball."

"A very loveable goofball," Howie agreed, leaning down to kiss her softly. Stephanie wrapped his arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, their tongues slowly dancing in rhythm.

"Thought there was no cookie tonight?" Howie murmured, feeling her slide away his boxers.

"I changed my mind?"

"What if I don't want any?"

"Well, if you don't want any, I guess..." Stephanie began pulling away from his body.

"Now wait a damn minute!"

"What?" she smirked.

"Don't leave," he pouted.

"I thought you didn't want any cookie tonight?"

"I do."

"You're too cute sometimes," she chuckled, returning to him.

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"Well, thank you."

"You're welcome," she began nibbling on his neck, continuing where she had left off with his boxers.

"God," he breathed softly, reaching to tangle his hands within her platinum locks as he let his body wash with the sweet sensations she was providing.

She let her hands roam over his strong chest, her kisses and nibbles trailing down to his shoulders and collarbone. She loved being intimate with him; it was like visiting Heaven.

"I love you..."

"I love you, too. Always," she looked up into his eyes and smiled.

"Can I make love with you?" Howie inquired, pulling her tank top away.

"Please do," Stephanie sighed, feel the cool air touch her skin.

"I love you," he whispered once more, raining kisses upon her soft flesh.

"Oh Howie... I love you," she bit her lip, arching her back in pleasure.

Grinning against the pit of her stomach, he removed the rest of her clothing. Tossing it idly toward the floor, Howie brought his kisses up her body once more. Feeling the wet heat of her entrance, he slid himself slowly inside.

"Mmmm... Howie..." she moaned as he filled her, slightly raising her hips.

"God, Stephie..."

"Hold me," Stephanie whispered, wrapping her arms around his body as he slowly began to move against her.

"Move with me," he instructed, guiding her hips with his as he held her close.

"God, Howie... yes..." They were soon moving as one, connecting in every way possible as she leaned up to kiss him lovingly.

"Stay with me forever?" he requested against her lips.

"Forever and after that," she promised, running her nails down his back softly.

"Oh God," he shuddered.

They moved together, slowly bringing the ecstasy to the highest peak until Howie could take no more and picked up his speed.

"Stephie, I'm going to--"

"Let it go," Stephanie breathed heavily, kissing him hard as she reached her climax. And he soon joined, falling against her body in an exhausted heap. A thrilled, overzealous, exhausted heap.

"So, have you enjoyed this little getaway?" Brian asked, kissing Ana softly as they soaked in the warm, bubbly water of the Jacuzzi tub. They had spent the entire night making love and just wanted to relax before heading back to the city.

"As long as you don't tell me how much you spent, I think I can still enjoy it," Ana agreed as she leaned back against his bare chest, using his legs as arm rests when he drew them up around her. Flicking at the popping bubbles languidly, she had to smile as she felt his bareness behind her. The complete package had been a surprise. The romantic dinner. The drive in the limo. The bed and breakfast. Why he was wasting all this money on her, she hadn't a clue.

"Okay, I won't tell you," Brian chuckled, kissing the back of her head. It felt so nice to just spend time with someone who didn't care about every little thing. Whenever he had been with Leighanne, she complained just to complain.

"You can wash my back though," she suggested with a small smirk, leaning forward to grasp the washcloth and cucumber melon body wash.

"You're already spoiled," he teased, pouring a generous dollop of body wash, working it into a deep lather before gently rubbing it across her smooth back.

"You think I'm jealous?" she pouted softly, sweeping her wet curls away from her back and over her shoulder.

"Not in a bad way, so don't start pouting."

"I'm not--"

"There's nothing wrong with it, Ana. Besides, you deserve it."

Ana turned within the whirling water to face her lover, arching her dark blonde brows with confusion. "How do I deserve it?"

"You've worked hard for everything in your life. Sometimes you need to sit back and let another treat you to things you don't have to work for."

"Like having sex with you isn't work," Ana sighed playfully.

"You like it when we have sex," Brian reached under the water and tickled the inside of her thigh.

"But it's still work," she disagreed, turning around with a soft squeal. Bracing her arms around his bare shoulders to keep from getting sucked into the jet, she stared into his light blue eyes. "Making love with you always exhausts me."

"It's the good kind of exhaustion," he disagreed with a chuckle, kissing her softly.

"My favorite kind of exhaustion," she agreed, running her hands down his bare chest and into the warm water to stroke his abdomen.

"Good," he smiled, trailing his hands up and down her back.

"Yours, too?" she hoped.

"Of course, Baby."

"How many women have you told that?"

"Honestly? You're the first one I've ever told that."

Ana furrowed her blonde brows as she leaned back slightly. For the longest moment, she merely studied his face. She wasn't naive to think that she had been his first. She knew better than to expect that. And giving up her virginity so quickly had been her decision. To give it to him had been her decision. But thinking about his past relationships, when theirs wasn't defined, made her ill. Perhaps she was one of those flings.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..."

"Ana, you're not a fling. I've been with other women, yes. None of them made me feel the way you do."

"What?"

"You heard me. I feel things with you that I never felt with anyone else."

"You just met--"

"Yeah, we just met. So what? That doesn't change what I feel."

"But it's too soon?"

"You think it's too soon?"

"I think I love you way too much-- Shit, like! Like you too much."

"What did you say?"

"I like you too much?"

"Ana... don't lie."

Ana glanced down like a scolded child as she pulled away from his embrace. Her cheeks crimson as she played with her fingernails. "I think I love you way too much."

"You love me?"

"I said I think I love you--"

"Well, I love you."

"Brian..."

"I mean it, Ana. I know we just met each other... what does that have to do with anything? I love being with you, I love being intimate with you, I love everything about you--"

"You love me?"

"Yes--"

"I love you."

"You do?"

"Of course--"

Brian smiled and brought her back into his arms, softening his lips against hers for a sensual kiss.

Shivering as she was dragged along her lover's chest, she tightened her grip upon his shoulders. Straddling his lap, she hardened the kiss with several nips from her teeth. When he growled in appreciation, she softened the kisses into mere whispers. God, she didn't want him to leave.

"I love you," he whispered softly before his tongue slipped inside her mouth for several warm strokes.

"Stay with me," she mumbled.

"I'm right here--"

"I mean..."

"You mean until we have to leave for the tour? Or... not leave for the tour at all--"

"I mean... It's stupid..."

"No, it's not stupid," Brian looked into her eyes. "Tell me, Ana."

"You have to go on tour."

"I know... it won't be much longer, though... unless..."

"Unless?"

"You could come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me on tour."

"But--"

"It would be perfect. We all have our own busses now, so we would have all the privacy in the world and--"

"You've never had privacy since you became a star and Kevin isn't--"

"Being alone with you is all the privacy I'll ever need and I don't care what Kevin says. I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions."

"I care about what Kevin--"

"Don't you want to be with me? Going on tour is the best way."

Ana bit down hard on her bottom lip as she twined her fingers with Brian's fingers, pulling his hand to her lips for a few kisses. She hated being pulled in two different directions. She had all her vacation time built up. Taking a vacation with Brian would be heavenly, but Kevin lurking in the dark. He actually scared her.

"I won't let anything happen to you. Please... come with me," Brian pleaded softly.

"I know you won't let anything happen--"

"Then come with me."

"I don't want to put a rift between you and your cousin."

"If he can't be happy for me, then screw him."

"Brian--"

"I'm not losing this amazing relationship we're developing because of him. I love you and I'm not going to let him get in the way of that."

"He's your family--"

"And he should be happy that I found someone."

"But he doesn't like me."

"You're not with him."

"I know--"

"Promise me no matter what he does or says that we'll still be together."

"What?"

"Promise me."

"Brian, I don't want to hurt you or your family--" Ana's voice faded when she saw the overwhelming amount of hope building in Brian's eyes. He wanted so desperately to cling to her and she couldn't push him away. Not when he had revealed his scars to her. Had told her his deepest secrets. "I'm not going to leave you."

"Will you go on tour with me?"

"Let me figure out all my vacation time and yes... I'll go with you."

"Honest?"

"Honest. How can I give up the good sex just like that?" she teased, smiling softly.

"I hope it isn't just about good sex..."

"Bri-Bear," she cupped his cheeks and kissed him deeply. "It's also because I love you."


~*~*~*~*~


"I like it when you don't have any Backstreet stuff to do," Stephanie smiled, cuddling deeper into the covers as she read her novel, The DaVinci Code. It was cloudy and rainy outside, so she and Howie decided to stay in for the day.

"Yeah, I don't mind it either," Howie agreed as he curled closer to his lover's warm body, sailing through some promotional information for DLF on his laptop.

"Howie?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Are we ever going to come out to the public officially as a couple? Or just... kind of leave it where it is?" Stephanie asked absentmindedly, running her fingers through his curls.

"Um... You've never mentioned wanting to before..."

"Well, I just... I guess I thought it would be a good idea so people aren't snapping pictures of you and I after concerts and putting them in the tabloids... assuming all the wrong things..." she shook her head, going back to her novel. "Forget I said--"

"Now wait a minute, you wanted to discuss this, don't immediately change the subject."

"I changed the subject because I realized it was a dumb idea."

"Why is it dumb?"

"Because I thought of it?"

"Stephanie--"

"It's not a big deal. Let's just forget I--"

"Stephanie!"

"What?!" she jumped at his outburst.

"Stop putting yourself down. This is ridiculous. You are a wonderful woman and I love you. I want to hear your suggestions. I want to know if you want me to make an announcement to the public. I just didn't know if you were ready for all the publicity."

"Oh..." she looked down at her closed book. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. Just tell me what you want."

"I... I did think it would be good to go public. I just didn't know if you wanted to."

"Well don't immediately push me away and scorn yourself."

"I know. I'm still working on some issues, I guess."

"I love you, Stephanie."

"I love you, too--"

"Then remember that," Howie chuckled, leaning over to kiss her deeply.

"Keep kissing me like that, and I will," Stephanie giggled between the kisses, tossing her book on the floor as he covered his body over hers.

"I intend to."

"Good," she smiled, wrapping her legs around his waist as he nibbled on her neck.

"Fantastic," Howie concluded with a sigh, seeking her lips.

"So we'll go to the pubic before leaving to go on tour?" Stephanie mumbled against his lips.

"Whatever you want."

"You're going to spoil me for the rest of our lives, aren't you?"

"I was hoping..."

"So was I," she teased.

"Whatever your heart desires, Stephanie."

"I want you."

"I want you."

"Well--" their little session was halted by Kevin storming into their room without knocking, looking frantic and angry.

"What?" Howie jerked in shock as he pulled away from Stephanie's body, using the blanket to shield her nudity as Kevin stopped at the foot of their bed.

"Brian's been gone for almost a day and a half again--"

"He's with Ana, relax! Jeez, you really need to learn how to knock," Stephanie snapped lightly, sliding back under the covers.

"Exactly! He's with Ana!" Kevin exploded with disgust, stalking over to the bedside table to yank out a pad of paper and a pen. "I want to know where he is."

"Why? So you can drag him back here by the ear like a child? No thanks, we'll pass," Stephanie grabbed the pen and paper, throwing it across the room. "Let your cousin be happy for once."

"I want to know now."

"You can't always get what you want--"

"He's my baby cousin and I'm the one that's supposed to protect him! My aunt is going to have a fit if he comes home with an STD or forced into marriage by some pregnant slut--"

"Oh hell fucking no. Stop yourself right there. You don't even know Ana. I've known her for years and I can tell you until she met Brian, she was a fucking virgin. And if you insult her, you insult me."

"Some virgin if she throws it away for some pop star with a big check account--"

"So you think that's why I got with Howie? Because he's rich?"

"I don't give a damn about you and Howie. I want to get Brian back here now and knock some sense into him."

"I don't give a damn what you want to do. I'm not telling you where they are and neither is Howie. So get the fuck out of our room. NOW."

"Where is Brian?" Kevin repeated stubbornly.

"I'm not telling you."

"Damnit, Stephanie--"

"You just totally disrespected mine and Howie's privacy, you disrespect my best friend, you disrespect your cousin's right to be happy and you expect me to tell you? I don't fucking think so."

"That whore is going to ruin him. He's going to end up in a tub full of his own blood because--"

"SHE IS NOT A FUCKING WHORE! SHE'S THE BEST THING HE'S EVER HAD!" Stephanie burst, standing up with the blanket wrapped around her bare body and slapping him harshly across the face.

"Stephanie," Howie choked in shock.

"I had started looking up to you as a father, since I never had one. But seeing you act like this when your own family member could be happy for the first time in his life... no. I won't fucking stand for this. There's nothing you can do to change their feelings for each other, so get used to it," Stephanie almost growled.

"I ain't getting used to shit between them!"

"Fucking grow up, Kevin!"

"She'll regret being with him!"

"No, she won't!"

"She's nothing but a fucking whore and will leech off Brian--"

"You son of a bitch--"

"Tell her to stay away from him or she'll pay," Kevin hissed.

"Don't you fucking threaten her! I'll report you to the fucking police--"

"I don't give two shits. Keep her away or she'll be sorry."


~*~*~*~*~


"So, you've been staying with Ana for the past few days... what's going on between you two besides great sex?" Stephanie inquired, wriggling her eyebrows as she, Howie, Ana and Brian lounged around the penthouse. The other three men were out doing their own thing, so it was a good time for the couples to spend some time together.

"Don't go spilling our secrets," Ana warned as she handed Brian a glass of soda and ice that he had requested. Waiting for him to take hold of the glass, she then moved to curl onto his lap. Leaning back to rest her head on his chest, she then gathered the blanket to drape over their bodies, sighing softly.

"I'm not spilling anything," Brian promised, kissing the top of her head before sipping his soda

"Good," Howie laughed, clicking a few buttons on his laptop to save what he was doing.

"What, so I'm the only one who's curious?" Stephanie pouted.

"I've already got the dirt," Howie murmured.

"Excuse me?" Stephanie turned to her boyfriend with a critical stare.

"Brian already--"

"You did?" Ana growled at Brian.

"D! Why do you always get me in trouble?!" Brian yelped.

"'Cause it's fun?"

"I no longer like you--"

"What did you tell him?" Ana demanded.

"Nothing, Ana, honest--"

"Well that's what he told me!" Stephanie snorted.

"Howie, what did he tell you?"

"Uh..." Howie stalled.

"Aha! See! I didn't tell him anything!"

Howie winced when he felt Stephanie's claws dig into the flesh of his thigh. "Brian--"

"I ain't saving you," Brian shook his head with a grin.

"Damnit, Brian--"

"You tried to get your best friend in trouble! You little..." Stephanie tackled him onto the couch, pinning him tightly.

"Stephanie!" Howie grunted in shock, immediately reaching to catch her wrists. "He did tell me--"

"Liar!" Stephanie squealed.

"NOT-UH!"

"YEAH-HUH!"

"NOT-UH!"

"They'll keep that up for hours," Ana guessed as she stretched out on Brian, releasing a soft squeal of a yawn.

"Which means we have more time to ourselves," Brian chuckled, leaning down to kiss her.

"You do that on purpose, huh?" Ana guessed as she turned onto her stomach, resting her chin against his chest.

"You know me too well," Brian nodded with a smile, resting his forehead against hers.

"Is that a bad thing?" she questioned as Stephanie and Howie squabbled loudly in the back. Both were attempting to find the top position in the fighting, but Ana was more concerned about staring into Brian's eyes.

"Not at all."

"Good, I might have to leave before Kevin comes back--"

"What? Why? I told you I--"

"Because this is his territory and he's like some mutt--"

"It's not his. It's all of ours."

"Brian, I don't feel comfortable around him."

"Stephanie!" Howie hissed, overhearing the conversation between Ana and Brian. Grasping his girlfriend by the waist, he easily plopped her on the couch, gesturing toward Ana. "Has Kevin been giving you a hard time, Ana?"

"No," Ana immediately disagreed.

"Ana, that's not true," Brian disagreed, glancing to Howie. "He's threatening her--"

"He is not," Ana growled.

"Yes he is!"

"He hasn't said anything to me!"

"Ana--"

"He hasn't threatened me!"

"Ana," Stephanie chided softly.

"He hasn't..."

"He came into our bedroom the other night threatening us to know where Brian was. If he's been doing that to me, then I can't imagine what he might be doing to you," Stephanie explained, moving to sit on the couch beside Ana. "Please, tell me."

"He honestly hasn't done anything to me. It's his dirty looks, that's all," Ana answered, glancing to Brian for confirmation.

"He does give her dirty looks, but then he says such crude things about her and some are when she's with me... I don't know what's wrong with him," Brian sighed heavily.

"It's no big deal," Ana promised, reaching to rub the side of Brian's face quite tenderly.

"It's a big deal to me... he's my cousin and he should be happy that I found someone as great as you."

"I'm far from great--"

"Fantastic, then."

"Brian--"

"I mean it, Ana."

"He wants her to come on tour with us, Steph," Howie announced softly.

"What? You're kidding!" Stephanie glanced at Ana in surprise. "You're coming, right?!"

"Did you tell him everything?" Ana groaned, pushing on Brian's chest.

"I only told him that... I promise! I was excited you said yes--"

"YOU SAID YES?!" Stephanie squealed.

"Brian!" Ana cursed.

"What?!"

"You have a big mouth!" Ana yelped as Stephanie squeezed her tightly.

"We're going to be able to do everything together!" Stephanie breathed with delight. "It'll be like we're back in Minnesota. Only! We'll be living together! God, you can show me all the sights and make me feel smart and--"

"I ain't doing everything with you," Ana warned with a wrinkle of her nose.

"Don't spoil the moment, CT!"

"I'm laying the basis of the agreement! Because I'm certainly not having sex with Howie! At least, not with you in the room..."

"Anastacia Grace Lord!"

"What now?!"

"Stop causing trouble!"

"What's trouble?!"

"You are! Why do you think your nickname is Crazy Trouble?"

"How was that trouble?!"

"...Because it is!"

"Because Howie would totally have sex with me, huh?" Ana guessed with a wicked grin.

"He would not!"

"Why else would it be trouble--"

"Maybe Steph feels a little insecure about the subject," Brian interrupted gently.

"She should, I'm hot as Hell," Ana teased, wriggling out of Stephanie's embrace. She offered her impish smirk that showed Stephanie she would never even think to jump into Howie's bed. Turning, she crawled back onto Brian, glancing into his light blue eyes. "But you're jealous..."

"How did we get from insecurity to jealousy?" Brian asked with a raised eyebrow.

"When I looked into your eyes..."

"I'm not jealous--"

"Insecure?"

"Ana--"

"What?"

"You cause too much trouble."

"Why do I cause too much trouble?" Ana questioned with a heavy sigh, pulling away from Brian to sit in the center of the couch. Perhaps he was right. Maybe she did stir a lot of trouble. That's why Kevin wanted her gone.

"Ana, we didn't mean it like that," Stephanie immediately objected, noticing the hurt in Brian's eyes.

"But it's true," Ana sighed, shrugging her shoulders absentmindedly.

"No, not like that. You're just good at getting to the root of someone's emotions. That's not causing trouble. Brian and I are just chicken shit sometimes to confront emotions."

"Just forget it..."

"No," Stephanie stood up and sat down next to Ana. "I'm sorry, CT. I really am. I didn't mean to make you feel bad for being yourself."

"It's okay, honestly," Ana promised, moving to stand as she brushed her hands against her jeans. "I better just get out of here. Work to do, y'know?"

"More like trying to avoid Kevin."

"Cocci--"

"He has no say in your relationship with Brian."

"And Brian isn't saying much either, so I guess I'm fine."

"What does that mean?" Brian stood up as well.

"Nothing--"

"Bullshit, Ana. What did you mean? We've talked about trying out a relationship and I thought that's what we were having."

"I meant you weren't saying anything now, but I fucked up and I'm sorry--"

"But you didn't fuck anything up."

"But, you--"

Brian silenced her objections with a fiery kiss. "I'm sorry. I overreacted. Do you really have to leave?"

"I... Well..." Ana was at a loss for words as she brought her fingers against her fiery lips. She hadn't expected him to do that. Much less ask her to stay. Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment at the whole ordeal. "I'm a drama queen?"

"If you're a drama queen, I'm a drama king," Brian chuckled.

"Brian..."

"It's alright, Sweetheart... just, please stay."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," they kissed again.

"Cute..." Howie chuckled.

"Aren't they?" Stephanie sighed happily with a giggle as she went to cuddle with him again.

"You're just happy that Ana's going on tour with us," Howie decided as he curled his arms around Stephanie's waist, pulling her close. Kissing the back of her head, he leaned slightly to watch Brian pick Ana up and playfully throw her onto the couch. Watching Brian laugh whole-heartedly as he playfully tickled Ana. He was better. Honest to God better.

"That's just the bonus--"

"Oh really," Howie inquired, playfully nibbling on her neck. "More chances to go out as couples?"

"Yes, really," Stephanie giggled at the sensation. "And okay... there are several bonuses that come with Ana joining the tour."

"Oh really?"

"What's the bonuses?"

"Well, for one... I'll actually have a girl to talk to when you drive me--"

"Hey!" Howie exclaimed, digging his fingers into her sides.

"That's my flesh!" Stephanie yelped. "Can I reiterate my statement?"

"I don't think I want to hear it!"

"I meant I'll actually have a girl to talk to about how happy you make me and how much I love you!"

"Hardly..." Howie scoffed, tossing her to the opposite side of the couch.

"Howard Dwaine!"

"Stephanie Holly!"

"I don't like you anymore!" Stephanie huffed, crossing her arms with a pout.

"Sure..."

Stephanie turned her back to him on the couch, staring at a picture on the wall.

"Stephanie--"

"I'm mad at you."

"You're acting like a teenager."

"So? I'm still mad at you."

"Stephanie--"

"If anyone acted like a teenager, it was you."

"Me?!"

"Yes, you! Getting all mad and throwing me to this end of the couch."

"Do they do this a lot?" Ana groaned from beneath Brian, shifting to glance over his arm to see Stephanie and Howie squabbling over something so trivial. It amused her completely as she glanced back to Brian, her sapphire eyes glittering with laughter.

"You learn how to block it out," Brian nodded with a chuckle, kissing her forehead.

"Can we go do something else? Sneak away?"

"You read my mind," Brian helped them up and let her jump on his back. "Where to?"

"Anywhere you want to take me," Ana approved as she leaned to nibble on the back of his neck. "I'd go anywhere with you."

"I could break out in song--"

"I would advise not. It would make this a corny moment, Babe."

"What wouldn't qualify this as a corny moment?"

"You taking me to bed."

"Deal," Brian leaned back and kissed her before heading to his room, locking the door before the bickering couple noticed they were gone.

"Oh, wow! This bracelet is beautiful... and it comes in a style for males!" Stephanie gushed, gazing into a jewelry case outside the ritzy Tiffany's store. She and Ana had been walking around the city all day, window shopping and munching on various foods from vendors.

"And enough to break my bank account five times over," Ana decided as she glanced away from the glittering jewels, stuffing her hands into the back pockets of her faded jeans. Kicking her foot lightly against the sidewalk, she released a soft sigh. Howie and Brian had given the girls credit cards to get themselves some things for the tour. Stephanie had done a bit of light shopping. But Ana had refused to spend a dime. Still feeling the card in her back pocket, she groaned softly.

"Brian did give you his credit card for a reason. Will you stop being so damn stubborn and at least buy one thing so Brian won't feel bad? I don't think it would kill you," Stephanie tore away from the display with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm not being stubborn--"

"What do you call it, then?"

"Not using his money for ego-intensive purposes," Ana stated quite seriously as she continued through the streets with Stephanie tucked close to her side.

"But he wants you to get something!"

"And I did get a few things already--"

"Not today and not with his money!"

"Minor technicalities."

"Minor technicalities my ass. Why would it be so hard to buy something with his credit card? He knows you're not going to abuse it--"

"I don't want him thinking that I'm sniffing around for his bank account, Stephanie," Ana scorned, keeping her hands tucked in her back pockets as her small cell phone vibrated in the front. She knew it was a text message, but held off, squirming slightly at the sensation.

"He knows you're not. You've told him that, I've told him that... the man's smarter than people think. He got our point that you're not after his money," Stephanie grabbed one of Ana's hands and pulled them out of the pocket, Brian's credit card flying out. She easily caught it and held it in front of Ana. "He gave you to this for a reason."

"He also gave me his penis, but you don't see me abusing that--" Ana smirked at Stephanie's offended glance. "Okay, so maybe I do abuse that..."

"You are so crude sometimes--"

"Well I don't abuse him. I love on him--"

"CT! We're talking about money, not sex!" Stephanie blurted, loud enough that a few passerby's turned their heads in surprise.

"God you've never been in a big city before," Ana laughed.

"Shut up," Stephanie growled, quickly pulling them into the next store she saw.

"Someone's impatient today," Ana decided with a squeal of surprise as her phone vibrated with another text message.

"Me or whoever's text'ing you?"

"Both!"

"You need to buy something and who's text'ing you anyway?"

"I don't know, I haven't checked," Ana answered, glancing around to see Stephanie had brought her into Old Navy. It had been so long since she had shopped for just regular clothing instead of professional duds. Glancing around, she yelped as she found her phone and Stephanie tugged her toward the bikinis. "Cocci! Damnit!"

"We're going to be in tons of hotels throughout this tour and knowing you, the only bathing suit you have is the one you had back in Minnesota. Am I right?" Stephanie continued, ignoring Ana's outburst as they reached the skimpier bikinis.

"And what's so wrong with--"

"Ana, if it's over two summers old, you need to get a new one."

"Mine is just--" Ana yelped in horror as the cell phone was snatched from her hands and she was shoved toward the skimpy bikinis. "Cocci!"

"You're buying a bikini and it's going to be with his credit card. Then we're going to find a couple of outfits," Stephanie slipped the cell phone into her purse.

"Who sent me a text?!"

"You'll find out once you buy some things."

"I'd rather see it now--"

"It's not from work, so you can calm down. Now if you don't pick out some clothes, I will... and they'll all be pink!"

"Doesn't mean I'll wear them."

"Stop being difficult."

"I'm paying with my credit card."

"No you're not, because I took that, too."

"That's theft!"

"No, it's being practical. For God's sakes, CT, let someone spoil you for once in your life!"

"I spoil myself--"

"I said someone, not you."

"But--"

"AND YOU DON'T EVEN SPOIL YOURSELF!"

"Can I just have my phone?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"I--" Ana groaned as she was shoved toward the bikinis once more, several being thrown in her direction. Ducking the first few, she then tripped on a strap and cursed. Yanking the pink bikini from underfoot, she growled a threat toward Stephanie and started to look.

"That's more like it," Stephanie nodded with approval, checking out some for herself.

"Dead. She's so freaking dead," Ana mumbled.

"I can hear you," Stephanie replied in a singsong voice.

"Like I give a shit," Ana returned in the same obnoxious mantra, flipping through the variety of shapes, styles, colors, and textures of bikinis. She wasn't even sure why she had accepted the invitation to go on tour. She would be leaving work for an extended period with no great benefit-- She then though of Brian whispering softly against her ear and she smiled appreciatively. He was so kind to her. So loving and attentive. She wished he knew the depth of her attraction to him.

"What are you thinking about?" Stephanie inquired as she watched the moods change through Ana's facial features. And, at her friend's funny little grin, Stephanie had to stop.

"Nothing."

"You're thinking about something. You always grin like that when you are."

"Hardly."

"Did New York make you even more stubborn?"

"No--" Ana heard Stephanie's snort and glanced upward with a small smirk. "Okay, maybe... And I was thinking about Brian..."

"I should have known," Stephanie looped a bikini over her arm and walked to her best friend. "What about Brian?"

"Anything... Everything... Nothing..."

"You've really fallen for him, haven't you?"

"I didn't say--"

"You didn't have to. I can see it in your eyes."

"You're not going to tell him are you?"

"No way. That's your business to tell him, not mine."

"I don't want to freak him out or make him mad or..." Ana shrugged helplessly as Stephanie disappeared inside the dressing room. Sinking onto the nearby couch, Ana stared at her reflection. Who was she to have Brian's heart? And who said that she actually did? This was a new relationship. Far too new.

"I can tell you one thing: it would not freak him out or make him mad. His reaction would be anything but negative. He cares a lot about you," Stephanie spoke from inside the room.

"He hardly knows anything about me."

"That doesn't mean he can't care about you."

"But--"

"But nothing," Stephanie opened the door and peeked her head out. "He cares about you."

"Do you think he loves me?" Ana inquired before she could stop herself.

Stephanie chuckled, smiling softly. "I know he does."

"...Really?"

"Really."

"He told you, didn't he?"

"Nope."

"But--"

"Like with you, I saw it in his eyes. How he talks about you, how he touches you, how he smiles when he's with you... he loves you."

"Cocci..." Ana groaned as she leaned back on the couch, startled when her cell phone landed into her lap. Lurching forward, she hurriedly flipped it open, hoping to find a message from Brian. Or perhaps a few more.

"I'm sure those texts will answer any doubts in your mind, CT."

"You probably read them..."

"I most certainly did not! I saw who they were from and that's it."

"Sure..." Ana trailed with a small laugh, hurriedly clicking into her text inbox.

"Are they all unread or read from Brian?" Stephanie inquired after a few moments of silence.

"What?" Ana questioned in confusion.

"In other words: did you falsely accuse me of snooping?"

"Unread--"

"Falsely accused!"

"Are you done trying on bikinis yet?"

"No, I'm admiring myself--"

"Do you want to read what Brian wrote?"

"You'll let me read them?"

"Would I ask if I didn't want you to?"

"Do you have to be such a smartass?"

"You'd think I was ill if I wasn't," Ana decided, tossing her cell phone over the divider.

"Hmmm... good point," Stephanie chuckled as she flipped through the messages from Brian. "Aw, he's so sweet! I never get texts like that from Howie."

"Don't even start this comparing of relationships," Ana groaned, leaning against the wall as she crossed her arms underneath her breasts. Though, she couldn't help but smile at the remembrance of what Brian wrote. He was no doubt the sweetest man she had ever met. And, it was surreal to say that she had a chance of calling him her own.

"Well it's true," Stephanie huffed playfully with a pout, coming out of the dressing room with a couple of bikinis she thought Howie would love best.

"Then tell him to text you," Ana stated simply, noting her cell phone was vibrating once more. "Read that one to me?"

Stephanie flipped the cell phone open and giggled. "He says 'I can't wait until we're alone tonight so I can hear you whisper my name'--"

"That's enough!" Ana squealed in shock, not expecting the text to be so private. She lunged toward her friend in horror, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.

"You son-of-a--"

"I love you, too! Now c'mon, we got to pay for all this. And you're using Brian's credit card."

"Bull--"

"His feelings will be hurt if you don't use it."

"I didn't even pick anything out. You use the card and we'll give him the receipt and his feelings won't be hurt," Ana bargained.

"I picked some things out for you while you were trying on bikinis and you're getting one of those, too. So no deal."

"Cocci--"

"For once in your life, let yourself be spoiled. You deserve it."

"I don't feel like I deserve it..."

"But you do." Stephanie hugged the younger woman tightly.

"I just can't..."

"Is this the kind of relationship you'll have with Brian, never letting him buy a thing for you? CT, c'mon... if not for me, for Brian."

"I just don't want him to think that I can't take care of myself. I've lived all my life taking care of myself. I haven't borrowed money to make ends meet ever. I've done everything on my own."

"Honey, believe me," Stephanie chuckled softly, kissing Ana's cheek. "He knows that you can take care of yourself. He's seen your amazing apartment, what you do for a living, how you lead your life... he knows. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't allow yourself to be spoiled."

"I don't want him thinking that I'm only with him, because--"

"He knows that you're with him because you love him, not his bank account."

"I guess..."

"Will you please use his credit card? It'll make him happy."

"Just once..."

"That'll do for now," Stephanie grinned, gathering all their clothing as they walked towards the cashier.


~*~*~*~*~


"I'm bored," Nick whined as he plopped down on the couch next to Brian.

"You could have gone shopping with the girls," Howie suggested with a roll of his eyes, working on his laptop.

Arching his dark blonde brows, Nick turned toward his best friend with a wicked grin. "I thought you said I couldn't do shopping with them? 'Cause I could have helped Ana get some awesome bikinis. I'd help her try them on--"

"That's exactly why I didn't want you to go shopping with them," Brian groaned, smacking Nick's face lightly with the magazine he was reading.

"Brian!" Nick whined in shock, jerking backward from the reprimand. "What do you got against me?!"

"You're a natural flirt and I don't want you flirting with my girlfriend?"

"'Fraid she might like lighter blondes compared to darker ones?" Nick continued to egg, knowing he had struck a chord in Brian's heart. It was a playful jib that even caused Howie to look up from his computer to see the consequences.

"More like... you should respect how I feel and leave it at that?" Brian narrowed his light blue eyes.

"But we could be best friends!"

"Not if you hit on her!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"You know what it means!"

"No--"

"You can be friends with Ana if you stop hitting on her. Do we have to draw it out for you?" AJ interrupted with an agitated grunt.

"Well, what's the fun in that when she hits back?" Nick disagreed with a disgruntled snort. Sitting back on the couch, he kicked his feet up on coffee table.

"She does not!" Brian hit him with the magazine again.

"Stop abusing me!"

"Stop making me abuse you!"

"It ain't my fault!"

"The Hell it--"

"You swore!" AJ and Nick gasped together.

"It's in the Bible!" Brian defended himself as Howie snorted with laughter.

"How Ana tolerates you..." AJ trailed with honest amusement as he shook his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brian growled with defense, wanting to throw the magazine toward AJ though Nick yanked it from his hands. The relationship between himself and Ana had been growing to astronomical heights, but he was still insecure. Especially as he thumbed the fading scars on his body. "...Is she... I mean..."

"Smooth, AJ, real smooth," Howie groaned, throwing a pillow at AJ's face. "He didn't mean it like that, Brian. You know that the girl loves you unconditionally."

"Hell ain't she dropping everything to come on tour with us?" Nick voiced as he scowled at AJ.

"Exactly. Leighanne never did that for you, did she? Ana would give you her world if you asked for it, man. Don't doubt your relationship with her."

"So, she really is coming?" AJ asked.

"That's why she and Stephanie are out shopping; to get some clothes and things for the tour."

"Well then why the Hell are you listening to me, B? I'm just a fuck-nut," AJ rasped with a throaty laugh, nudging Brian's leg for emphasis.

"More like a major fuck-nut," Brian murmured with a small smile.

"You're lucky to have her, B."

"I know. I thank God every night for her--"

"Me too!" Nick whistled.

"Why do you always ruin a good moment?" Howie groaned.

"Because it's my nature?" Nick guessed with a shrug.

"Or because you're asking for this?" Howie took another pillow and threw it at the younger man.

"HEY!" Nick shrieked in shock.

"You asked for it!"

"I did not--"

"You did, too!" Howie, AJ and Brian gathered the pillows and bombarded Nick.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ABUSE!"

"You want abuse? I'll give you abuse!" AJ grabbed Nick's lanky leg and pulled him onto the floor. "DOGPILE!"

"Oh. Dear. God..." Stephanie trailed in bewilderment as she stepped into the living room suite with her bags and Ana behind her. They had finished a full day of shopping and had every intention of falling onto couches with their loved ones. But, watching AJ pound his scrawny body on top of Nick was a sight. "Do they need a room?"

"God, I love dogpiles!" Ana chirped with excitement, launching her own skinny frame onto the top.

"I am in Hell. Those three are Satan's spawns and I'm stuck babysitting without getting paid..." Stephanie's eyes grew wide as she dropped their bags on the floor and watched the horror grow in front of her.

"You aren't the only one," Howie reminded her as he held his legs up as Nick, AJ, and Ana rolled past. Somehow, Ana had ended up in the middle of the fight, being tickled mercilessly.

"Okay, we're in Hell," Stephanie corrected herself, falling into her boyfriend's lap.

"And you were just dying for her to come on tour with us too, Steph--"

"Boob! Boob! You're crushing my boob!"

"Nick's or Ana's?"

"HEY! I do not have boobs--"

"Well you will if you keep grabbing at mine like that!" Ana growled.

"CARTER!" Brian seethed.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Nick promised, rolling Ana onto her back as he flipped AJ over his shoulder.

"Is it too late to hide from the bloodshed?" Stephanie yelped as Brian launched himself off the loveseat.

"Because I don't want the blood to ruin my clothes!"

"I can buy you new ones."

"But--"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! DON'T KILL ME, THE FANS WOULD BE DEVASTATED!" Nick shrieked.

"We'll find a replacement!" Brian grunted as he freed Ana from Nick's clutches. Helping her toward the side, he then grabbed Nick's feet. Without warning, he yanked them above his friend's head, sending Nick's voice into a nasally, high pitched squeak.

"What are you planning to do, clean and gut him like a deer?" AJ snorted with laughter.

"It was a thought!" Brian growled, throwing Nick's legs up higher above his head.

"FRACK! I'M SORRY! PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING!" Nick pleaded, his face turning red from the blood rushing down.

AJ suddenly perked up. "Now that's tempting."

"Take the offer!" Stephanie added.

"Now wait, when I said--" Nick squealed when his legs were thrust higher. "Okay! Okay! Anything! Anything! Anything!"

"Make it good, Bri!"

"Hmm..." Brian bit his bottom lip in thought.

"This'll take forever," Nick whined.

"I could still gut you--"

"Okay, okay, take your time!"

"Brian, don't kill your best friend, who else is going to put up with you?" Ana teased good naturedly as she brushed her hands down her jean shorts. Once she was satisfied they were clean, she swept them into her long golden curls to pull them into a messy bun. She loved roughhousing with AJ and Nick.

"But he--"

"It was an accident. I promise. Now will you put him down?" she smiled as she walked over to Brian and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

"Ana..." Brian whined.

"Brian..." Ana whined in return, beginning to kiss the nape of his neck.

"Ana..." Brian suddenly growled without warning.

"She's macking on him! Get her off!" Nick squealed.

"I think that's punishment enough," AJ laughed suddenly, unaware of the door to their suite being opened. Instead, he found himself caught in the playful wrestle that began to occur between the lovers. Brian grabbing at Ana's waist to pull her down into a pin, fighting her kisses with many of his own.

"Damn, it went from a potential bloodshed to... to... what's the word..." Stephanie trailed off in thought as she and Howie continued to watch.

"Soft-core porno?" AJ guessed.

"That could work--"

"She's kind of frisky, it might turn into something more--"

"BRIAN!" Kevin's voice suddenly bellowed, breaking up any potential romance bliss for the couple curled upon the floor. Stepping over Nick's huddled body, Kevin grabbed the collar of Ana's shirt, jerking her into a standing position without any regard for her well-being. "Get the fuck off him!"

"LET HER GO!" Brian and Stephanie shouted, though Brian was the first to come to Ana's rescue.

Struggling slightly in Kevin's vice-like grip, Ana jerked till she heard the loud tear of her shirt. Falling backward to the carpet, she heaved a frightened breath of air as she scrambled into a standing position, attempting to conceal her exposed upper torso. Her neck throbbed from where the cloth had cut into her skin, convinced that the brush burn was oozing with a small amount of blood. But, she said nothing, hurrying for the door.

"ANA! ANA, WAIT!" Brian turned to run after her.

"Jesus Christ..." Nick whispered, horrified to see pieces of Ana's shirt still wrapped in Kevin's fists. His chest heaved with ragged breaths as his emerald eyes flashed with annoyance. He was on the verge of a breakdown, saying nothing to the others as he stalked into his bedroom suite, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" Stephanie raved, following the older man without a thought of anything else. "KEVIN! YOU FUCKING COWARD, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE! I'M GOING TO HIT YOU SO FUCKING HARD YOUR ANCESTORS HEADS WILL FUCKING SPIN!"

"Stephanie!" Howie gasped in horror, lurching off the couch to catch her before she walked into a tornado of insults and angry backlash.

"FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU LIKE TO HURT WOMEN SO MUCH, LET'S SEE HOW YOU DO WITH ME!" Stephanie ignored everyone else, concentrated on the task of beating Kevin senseless for hurting her best friend. She slammed the door open with a growl. "YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!"

"Stephanie! It was an accident!" Howie protested, looping his arms tightly around her waist to draw her back. Especially as Kevin stepped to match her defiant stare.

"ACCIDENT MY FUCKING ASS! LET ME GO!" Stephanie screamed, fighting his grasp before finally slamming her foot down onto his. He yelped and let her go, which gave her time to launch herself at Kevin with all the strength she had. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"This isn't your fight!" Kevin growled in disbelief, countering Stephanie's little body weight as his fingers embedded into her wrists. Taking a deep breath, he flung her into the hallway. "This is between my cousin and me. Stay out!"

Stephanie seemed to almost fly in the air before she actually landed hard on the floor, her head thudding against the carpet; which brought stars to her eyes. But it didn't deter her from more pressing matters as she struggled to stand. "Brian can see who he fucking wants and you need to fucking stay out of his personal life! I swear to God, I will murder you in your sleep if you ever touch my best friend like that again!"

"Some best friend when she's practically having sex with my baby cousin in the middle of a public living room!"

"It's called cuddling, you psychotic asshole! Has it been that long since you got something from Kristin?!"

Howie paled. "Stephanie--"

"Keep her the fuck away from me, Howie, I swear to God," Kevin threatened with an overwhelming amount of spite, slamming the room to his suite once more.


~*~*~*~*~


"This is such bullshit! How can you even say what he did to Ana was an accident? Are you all that blind?! He was trying to choke her and the only reason he didn't was because her shirt tore!" Stephanie ranted, holding an ice pack against her head.

"He wasn't trying to choke her..." AJ murmured, keeping his gaze far away from Stephanie as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. What had happened in the living room had been astonishing to say the very least. He had never seen Kevin react so violently before. Something just didn't seem to add up.

"Oh, and her gasps for breath were just an act!" Stephanie scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "Kevin ain't perfect and you're all in denial what he did. Pieces of her shirt were clutched in his hands!"

"He thought Brian was--"

"There isn't an excuse for what he did," Nick mumbled, running his hands repeatedly through his platinum streaked locks.

"Damn right--"

"You don't even know how protective Kevin is," AJ interrupted.

"There's a difference between being protective and violent!"

"She wasn't hurt--"

"Her neck was bleeding, asshole."

"You barely saw her because she freaked--"

"I saw the fucking blood and you would be freaked out too if someone tried to choke you!" Stephanie spat, chucking her ice pack at AJ. "And fuck you if you don't understand!"

"Stephanie," Howie chided with shock as he reached to grasp the ice pack before it made contact with his friend. Hissing against the stinging sensation of his palm, he offered a stern glare toward Stephanie as well as AJ. "Like we need a repeat of what just happened! Sit down and calm down!"

"Not while that fucking asshole is set on making sure Ana is six feet under--"

AJ snorted. "He's not trying to kill her, don't be so fucking dramatic."

"It just bothers you that Kevin isn't the saint you thought he was!"

"I never claimed him to be a saint--"

"Would you guys stop arguing?!" Nick hollered in disgust.

"I'm with Nick. Please stop," Howie pleaded, glancing at his girlfriend and best friend. "Arguing isn't going to change what happened, nor is it going to prevent it from happening again."

"Then what are you going to do about it?" Stephanie fired toward Howie, holding out an accusatory finger. "She's coming on tour with us. He's going on tour. How are you going to keep him from hurting her? 'Cause he's going to kill her!"

"We have three busses to split between the five of us. You, Ana, Brian and myself can have one, Nick and AJ share another and Kevin gets his own in case Kristin comes along for part of the tour. In the hotels there aren't going to be penthouses, so Ana and Brian could have a room right next to us," Howie suggested, staying calm as he grabbed her hand and lowered it.

"And you think that solves everything?" Stephanie gritted. "That man came out of no where and grabbed onto Ana like she was a criminal--"

"It's the only thing we can do, Stephanie! What more do you want?"

"SOMETHING! ANYTHING!"

"Stephanie--"

"Just leave me the Hell alone!" Stephanie growled, ripping her hand away from Howie's grasp.

"Stephanie!"

"I said leave me alone. I have no problem hitting you with my ice pack."

"Where are you going?"

"Like any of you really care," Stephanie snorted.

Howie wanted to tell her otherwise, but she was already stalking out of the suite and slamming the door as loud as she possibly could. The rattle of the door sent a cold chill racing through his body, causing him to wilt into the nearby couch. He understood where Stephanie was coming from, but she truly didn't understand Kevin. He was just extremely protective of Brian. He wouldn't have hurt Ana intentionally... Would he?


~*~*~*~*~


Ana fought to control the ragged sobs fighting to break free from her aching chest. Having already stumbled down several flights of stairs in order to reach the outside, clutching at the tatters left over from her t-shirt. She was stunned at what had just happened to her. She had never expected Kevin to lash out at her. Blood was trickling down her back from the harsh burns Kevin caused with the friction of his pull. She just needed to get away. Clawing at her throat as she fought to breathe, ignorant of her slight nudity, she fumbled to open her car door.

"ANA! ANA, WAIT!" Brian almost fell onto the ground as the back door burst open, but he kept moving as he saw Ana try to get into her car. "ANA!"

Furiously shaking her head, Ana's hands trembled as she attempted to slide her key into the lock. But it was useless as her keychain clattered to the floor. She jumped at the sharp clatter of keys on the pavement, turning to slide her back down her cold car, folding her hands against her face to sob.

"Ana... oh, Sweetheart..." Brian sighed heavily as he immediately sat down on the ground with her, attempting to pull her into his arms.

"What the Hell is wrong with him?!" Ana yelped with pain as Brian's hand slid behind her neck, causing a shockwave of pain to rip down her spine as he withdrew his hand to find a splatter of blood.

"Oh my God... I don't know what's wrong with him, but I will once I kill him," Brian seethed, wiping the blood off on his jeans. He pulled out his lucky bandana from his back pocket and dabbed at the cut.

"Don't--Don't--Don't--" Ana whimpered with a sharp whine of pain, reaching to grasp his wrist to still his movements. "It hurts."

"I'm sorry, but you're bleeding--"

"I'd rather bleed than have it hurt more."

"Ana..." Brian murmured softly, wanting to look at her back, though she shielded it. He could already see the ring of the burn staring at the front of her neck. A trickle of blood followed the soft trial between the crevice of her breasts. And, he suddenly realized she was naked.

"Just leave me alone," Ana demanded, sniffling as she brought her knees to her chest for protection.

"No, I will not. Come on, I'll drive you home and take a better look at your back--"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I can't be with you, Brian. Your cousin made that perfectly clear."

"When did--"

"Brian, he just yanked me off you by my shirt, ripping it to pieces. He... He..." Ana could hardly complete her sentence as a sharp hiccup choked her words. Leaning forward, she shuddered at the mere thought of what else Kevin could be capable of. He obviously wanted her nowhere near his cousin. She would have to respect that, because she had no doubt she'd be dead otherwise.

"Ana--"

"Brian, I love you. I really do. But your cousin... he's got this rage that no one can control... and I'm caught in the middle of it when I'm with you."

"I won't let you get hurt--"

Ana glanced up in shock. "Brian, look at me."

"Ana--"

"He's going to end up hurting me. Bad."

"I can't--"

"I'm not getting hurt again," Ana whispered, shifting away from Brian's embrace.

"Ana! I need you..."

"And I need to stay alive, Brian. Do you know what it's like, to have someone hate you so much they could kill you?"

"He's not going to kill you--"

"How do you know?"

"Because I know--"

"Just like you knew he would never physically hurt me?"

"Ana--"

"Just let me get up," Ana interrupted, pushing Brian away gently as she moved to stand. Stumbling slightly, she reached out to grasp hold of her car for means of leverage. Her body ached with a severe rip of pain and she slammed a fist on her hood.

"Damnit Ana, at least let wear my shirt," Brian peeled off his camp shirt.

"Just go back upstairs," Ana whispered, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt his t-shirt drape lightly over her shoulders. Heavier tears rained down her pale cheeks as she struggled for a calming breath, but nothing ever seemed to go her way.

"No."

"Brian--"

"No."

"Brian, I can't--"

"I'm not going to let you go. God had us run into each other for a reason, Ana. I don't think He would let someone like Kevin come in-between something that can last forever."

"I just want to go home..."

"Let me take you home and take care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me," Ana murmured, leaning down to grasp the keys to her car, but Brian beat her to it. Gently looping his arms around her waist, he guided her toward the passenger side, helping her into the car. She wanted to object to his decision, but hardly mustered the strength to decline as Brian hurried toward the driver's side. "...I don't think we should be together..."

"What are you talking about?" Brian questioned in confusion as he revved the engine to the car, feeling his heart drop.

"Kevin scares me..."

"But I thought you wanted to be with me."

"Kevin's--"

"I'll handle Kevin."

"Brian, you were right there and you--"

"I'll fix things, Ana. I don't want to lose you."

"Can you just please drive me home?"

"Will you promise to stay with me?"

"Brian--"

"He's not going to kill you or hurt you. I won't let that happen."

"Just drive me home, Brian, please."

"Fine."

"Please don't be mad at me," Ana whispered as she felt the car jerk to a start as he pulled away from the hotel. Glancing upward at the rows of lighted windows, Ana shivered as she slumped in her seat, keeping her back to Brian.

"I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you," Brian replied softly as he sped down the street.

"...Then why were you so short just then?"

"Because I want to kill my cousin for making me lose the one great thing I had in my life. You."

"Brian..." Ana sighed softly, cupping a tender hand over the back of her flaming neck. Tears continued to slide down her flushed cheeks as she pressed her forehead to the cool window. She loved Brian with all her heart, but Kevin was too violent. She wasn't sure she could withstand the pain again, especially as her hands continued to tremble with fear.

"I want to be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life you. And because of him, I won't have that. I know you're scared and... I can't make you do anything you don't want," Brian kept his eyes on the road, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"I love you so much, Brian," Ana whispered as he pulled up to her apartment complex, easing the car into the number slot designated for her car. Hurriedly, she fumbled for the door, stumbling onto the pavement as she clutched Brian's t-shirt to her trembling body.

"Ana, wait--"

"I need to get inside," she explained as she slammed her car door shut, hurrying up the steps of her apartment complex, hoping no one was looking.

"Ana!" Brian chased after her.

"Brian," Ana yelped in shock when she attempted to step inside the elevator, only to have him yank her backward. She noticed the attendant of her complex offer her a suspicious glance, but she shook her head. "Just come upstairs with me before you make a scene."

Brian relinquished his grip on her arm and they walked into the elevator. The ride up was uncomfortable, to say the least, and when the doors finally opened Ana rushed to her apartment with Brian close behind.

Brian followed her to the bathroom, but stopped at the doorway to give her a little privacy before she got into the tub. "Ana, we need to talk."

"Can't I take a bath first?"

"I'd rather--"

"Then come in, it ain't like you haven't seen any of this before," Ana grumbled, closing the glass door that sillhoutted her beautiful frame in a opaque haze.

"Excuse me for trying to give you some privacy," Brian grumbled back as he walked in. His mouth dropped slightly as he watched her behind the glass door. Even a simple shadow of her body made him fall in love with her all over again.

"I think you were beyond giving me privacy when you chased me down the hallway."

"What do you expect, Ana? To just let you leave my life as soon as you entered it when you know how I feel about you?"

"I was hoping..." she murmured softly, stepping underneath the wave of water in hopes to drown herself.

"What?" Brian questioned as he moved to sit on her closed toilet, bracing his forearms on his knees as he clasped his hands.

"Nothing... Brian, look--" Ana moved to open the glass door of her shower, staring at Brian as if she were attempting to break off their relationship. But, noting the darkness in his usually cerulean eyes, she frowned. Reaching out, she grasped the front of his shirt, pulling him up. "C'mere..."

"Please don't make me let you go," Brian whispered, standing up on her gentle pull as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I just don't want to cause any bad blood between you and your family," Ana explained softly as Brian actually stepped into her shower, not caring that he was fully clothed.

"If he was family, he would be happy I found someone as great as you," Brian buried his face into the crook of her neck, gently inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.

"He's your blood, Brian, you can't deny that," Ana murmured softly, brushing her hands down his bare back.

"He may be my blood, but I'm not letting him run my life. I want to be with you and no one else."

"If he tries to hurt me again--"

"He won't."

"Stay here tonight," Ana suddenly whispered softly, tilting her head to kiss his jaw.

"Mmm... I'm staying here tonight..." Brian moaned, bringing her closer to his body.

"Really?" Ana questioned, her kisses ending at the corner of his mouth.

"Really," Brian looked down into her deep blue eyes and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you more," she promised, her hands dropping to the belt of his pants.

"Oh yeah?" he nibbled on her neck as she undid his belt.

"Need me to prove it?" she questioned, unzipping his baggy cargo shorts. Easing her hands underneath his boxers.

"Ana..." he moaned at her sensual touches.

"What?"

"I love you more," he brought their lips together for a passionate kiss as he closed the shower door behind them.

"This is just such bullshit. They won't even do anything about him hurting her! I know he did it on purpose, I could see it in his eyes! If he was alone with her... she would be dead right now!" Stephanie raved under her breath, tears in her eyes as she ran through the private parking lot. She took out the rental car keys from her pocket and pushed the button to unlock the doors.

The men in the room that had tried to assuage her anger just seemed to stew the fires deep in Stephanie's heart. They acted as if Kevin were some kind of saint. As if this whole ordeal were merely a misunderstanding. Or worse, that Ana was to blame for the civil unrest. Either way, Stephanie would not tolerate the mistreatment of her friend. Hurriedly revving the engine, she peeled away from the hotel, wanting to get to Ana's home to apologize. To tell her to stay the Hell away.

"Why do You make things so difficult for them? God, they just want to be happy together and love each other for the rest of their lives. Is that too much to ask?!" Stephanie wiped away the tears but they kept coming as she sped down the street. She weaved the SUV through the packed traffic, honking along the way.

Aggressiveness was the style of her driving on any given day. But when she was upset, it became reckless driving.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY! MOVE IT!" Stephanie screamed, finally ridding her face of tears as she sped faster down the street. Pedestrians actually jumped out of her way as she went through stoplights.

"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M DRIVING HERE, ASSHOLE?!"

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING, BITCH!" A driver next to her shouted as he flipped her off.

"FUCK YOU!" Stephanie growled as she turned to return his egregious gesture. But as she pulled her hands from the wheel, she heard the loud blaring of another horn. Jerking back, she gasped sharply as she saw the front of a car hurdling toward her. Yanking the wheel to the right, she caused her car to spin furiously.

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" Stephanie yelped as she tried to regain control. Cars behind and around her swerved out of the way to avoid her.

The harder she yanked on the wheel, the tighter the spin she was sending herself. Without warning, her car careened over the intersection through a tight weave of cars. Suddenly, there was a sharp hit of metal to metal as her car collided with the metal barrier. And, with the sound of shattering glass and a hissing engine, the world went black.


~*~*~*~*~


"She's been gone too long... I know she has the rental car, I can't find the keys and she won't answer her cell phone... where is she?" Howie muttered as he paced the living room, biting hard on his bottom lip. It had been several hours since Stephanie had stormed out of the hotel room and he hadn't heard from her since. He was definitely worried.

"She's pissed right now. Women like to disappear when they're pissed. Don't get so damn uptight," AJ muttered as he walked into the living room with a Styrofoam container of food. Sliding onto the couch, he immediately plunged into his Chinese food.

"It's called being worried, not uptight," Howie snapped, finally sitting down in the large easy chair. He pulled out his cell phone again and sighed. Still no word from her.

"She'll come back when she wants to. She's probably chasing after Ana," AJ announced as he jabbed his fork toward Howie as if to make a point.

"Yeah... I guess..."

"She'll come back when she's cooled off."

"I don't blame her for being upset."

"I think Ana has more right to be pissed. God, Kevin ripped on her..."

"I don't understand why he doesn't like her, J. Have you seen how happy Brian's been since he met her? I don't think cutting has even crossed his mind since they've been together."

"You think she knows about the cutting?"

"There's no way she doesn't know. I think she's the reason he truly stopped."

"I think Kevin's just PMS'ing..."

"I don't know if it's just PMS."

"Kevin's not a violent person, D."

"We didn't think Brian was a self-mutilator either, J."

"That was different--"

"How is that different?"

"Because--"

"You can't make excuses for him, AJ."

"You're just upset because your girlfriend left."

"And you're in denial."

"Damn straight, he's the only father figure I got."

"And no father figure is perfect."

"Howie, he was just freaked that Ana was hurting Rok."

"They were cuddling and kissing on the damn floor!"

"Maybe from his angle she--"

"Just shut the Hell up, AJ," Howie muttered, as there was a sharp ring from his cell phone. Jerking slightly, he reached to catch his cell phone from the side table.

"You shut the Hell up," AJ mumbled under his breath as Howie flipped his phone open.

"Stephanie?"

"Is this Mr. Howie Dorough?" a crisp, cold voice answered.

"Yes..."

"Is your girlfriend Stephanie Holly James?"

"Yes... who is this?"

"This is one of the nurses in the Emergency Room--"

"Emergency Room? What happened?!"

"She's been in an accident--"

"I'll be right there," Howie snapped his phone shut and stood up.

"Who's in the Emergency Room?" AJ inquired with confusion.

"Stephanie. She's been in an accident," Howie opened his phone again and dialed Brian's number. He knew the younger man had caught up with Ana and was probably at her apartment.

"Is she alright--"

"I don't know. I need to get everyone gathered together and we're going to the hospital," Howie interrupted, keeping a hard exterior when inside he was falling apart.

"D... Take a breath--"

"Brian! Are you with Ana? I know, I'm sorry to interrupt but it's important. You and Ana get ready and head to the hospital. Yes, the hospital... Steph was in an accident. I don't know... okay, we'll see you there. Bye," Howie hung up the phone and walked to Nick's bedroom door. "Nick! Come out here, we've got to go!"

"Go where?" Nick groaned from inside, his voice thick with sleep.

"The hospital. Steph was in an accident--"

"Is she alright?"

"I don't know, that's why we have to go right now! Brian and Ana are on their way there. Now come on!"


~*~*~*~*~


Howie got out of the car before the driver actually stopped, running through the Emergency Room doors and towards the nurses’ station. The ride to the hospital was a blur and he tried to keep it together in front of everyone.

"D! Wait for us!" AJ shouted after the Latino as he and Nick got out of the car.

"You guys hurry up!" Howie insisted, stumbling on the shift of tile and carpeting, almost spilling. But, somehow, he managed to keep up his pace as he rushed toward the nurses' station. Slamming his hands upon the desk, he caused the nurse sitting behind the desk to jerk with surprise. "Stephanie James."

"Mr. Dorough?" the woman guessed.

"Yes. Where is she? Who's her doctor? What happened? What--"

"Take a deep breath, Mr. Dorough. I'll page her doctor, just have a seat and he'll be with you shortly," the nurse interrupted gently as she made an announcement over the speaker system.

"Short as in--"

"Howie, sit down and don't pester the woman," Ana announced as she walked into the Emergency Room, tentatively holding a hand to the back of her bruised and tender neck. She gestured toward the large row of empty seats. "Doctors come when they feel like coming."

"But--"

"Come sit down," Ana persisted, grabbing Howie's sleeve and pulling him towards the chairs.

"How can you be so damn calm--"

"Because there's no use in getting worked up when you don't know anything."

"She's right, D. The only thing we can do is wait," AJ sat down in a chair next to Nick, who was slightly panting after chasing Howie.

"I think I need to start exercising," Nick complained.

"Cutting down on the Mickey D's would be a--"

"Don't start a fight. Please," Howie sighed as he wilted into the hard plastic chair, running his hands continuously through his wild curls.

"You're going to give yourself a panic attack," Ana murmured softly as Brian moved to sit next to her, though she kept her gaze trained on the glass doors as if expecting Kevin to show.

"I'm fine--"

"You're hyperventilating."

"I'm not--"

"You're going to make yourself pass out. Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths."

"Ana--"

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm just worried--"

"I know, and so are we. But panicking and hyperventilating isn't going to help, is it? Just listen to me, I know what I'm talking about."

"Such a smart--"

"AJ," Brian immediately growled.

"Nurse," AJ hurriedly finished.

"Nice save," Ana murmured as she rubbed Howie's back while he tried to control his breathing.

"I try," AJ answered with a wicked grin.

"Mr. Dorough?"

"Yes," Howie stood up quickly, thankful he had stopped hyperventilating as Stephanie's doctor came walking out of the trauma rooms. He shook the man's hand, swallowing hard as everyone stood behind him.

"Stephanie's out of surgery and heading towards our recovery room till the anesthesia wears off. She has a few bumps and bruises, cuts and scrapes, which is to be expected. What's of major concern was the several breaks to her radial and ulnar bones of her left arm. I had to stabilize them with several plates and screws internally. So, she'll have a sling and some staples on that arm for awhile."

"So... she'll be okay?"

"She's got a long road of physical therapy ahead of her but yes, she'll be just fine."

"When can I see her?"

"When she gets moved to her private room."

"When will that be?"

"I'd say between a half hour and an hour. Maybe you all should go to the cafeteria and get something to eat while you wait."

"Did I thank you, doctor?"

"No need, I'm just doing my job," the doctor chuckled, reaching to shake Howie's hand once more before moving back the hallway.

"Thank God she's alright," Brian sighed, patting Howie on the back.

"What the Hell was she doing in the first place?" Ana questioned as Nick grabbed her arm, yanking her hurriedly toward the cafeteria.

"I think she was trying to get to your apartment. After you and Brian left, she tried to fight Kevin," Nick replied, still dragging her down the hall with the others behind them.

"Is she stupid?" Ana groaned with dismay.

"She just didn't think about anything except protecting you."

"And then after he threw her out of his room, she took the rental SUV and drove off--"

"She should know better than to drive when she's angry. She doesn't pay attention."

"Well, you can tell her that," Howie announced from behind her.

"Don't worry, I will," Ana answered with a simple shrug of her shoulders, moving to seat herself at the first available tables.

"What does everyone want to eat?" Brian offered as he stood by the table.

"Cheeseburger!" Nick burst, his stomach growling.

"I'll just have a salad," AJ replied, sitting down next to Ana.

"I'm not hungry," Howie shook his head.

"You should eat something," Brian suggested.

"I'm not hungry," Howie stressed again, sliding into an empty seat and rested his head in his trembling hands.

"She's going to be alright, Howie," Ana murmured softly as Brian mentally catalogued everyone's orders before disappearing through the cafeteria line. She leaned toward him as Nick and AJ started some sort of conversation, reaching to rest a hand on his arm.

"I know... but I... when I got that phone call, I thought... I thought I had lost her. And to hear she's okay, it's..."

"The biggest relief you've ever felt?"

"Yeah..."

"Soon enough, you'll be able to hold her, kiss her and never let go. Alright? But you won't be able to do that if you hold everything in and refuse to eat."

Howie glanced toward Ana with a rueful smile. "Are you the nurse that everyone bitches about?"

"...Probably?"

"They shouldn't, because you know what you're talking about."

"I just bullshit till patients think I know what I'm talking about," Ana teased.

"Ana..." Howie shook his head with a groan, though it slowly turned into a quiet sob. His wall was breaking down with the relief that Stephanie was going to be okay.

"Just let it all out," she soothed, wrapping her arms around him as means of support.

And he did.

Howie walked down the long, stark hallway of private rooms to finally see Stephanie. Her doctor had come into the waiting room after an hour and told the group the anesthesia had worn off. They naturally let Howie visit her first and would join later. Sighing heavily, he wiped his sweaty hands on the leg of his jeans as he opened the door to Stephanie's room.

He had spent most of the lunch sobbing with relief over knowing that Stephanie would indeed be alright. She had left so abruptly earlier that evening, startling him considerably. Just the thought of losing her made him sick inside. He needed to keep her with him always. He wasn't strong enough to go through this trauma again.

"Stephanie..." was all he could say as he watched her lay in the hospital bed, IV's connected to her arm to steam painkillers into her bloodstream. Cuts and bruises adorned her face but she still looked beautiful.

"You came..." she whispered brokenly.

"Of course I came. Why wouldn't I?" he replied as he forced his numb legs towards her bedside, settling down next to her.

"Because of what... I said..."

"You were hurt, Steph. I wasn't just going to leave you all alone in some scary hospital room," Howie chided, his dark eyes shimmering with a sheen of hurt.

"I'm sorry," Stephanie reached up with her right hand and cupped his cheek.

"How you feeling?" he questioned instead, refusing to accept her apology.

"I ache all over... what happened?"

"You crashed the rental car."

"What? Oh no... I'm sorry, I'll pay the company for--"

"Don't worry about the car," Howie murmured as he leaned forward to gently kiss her forehead. "I'm just thankful that you're okay."

"I'm sorry..." she persisted the apology again.

"Stephanie, it's okay."

"But--"

"Stop."

"Howie--"

"Stephanie, I mean it."

"Howie--"

"Do I need to get you more morphine to drug you out? Stop, you're driving me nuts. Just lay back and rest."

"I was going to say I love you," she pouted, though she did as he said and lay back against the pillows.

"I love you, too," he promised with a small smile. "But you're still resting."

"I'm resting, I'm resting," Stephanie looked down at her arm and gasped softly. "What did I break?"

"Your arm?" Howie murmured in confusion.

"It feels funny..."

"They had to place plates and pins in to put your bones back together."

Stephanie seemed to pale. "What?"

"I don't know much about medicine... but the breaks in your two arm bones were bad, so they had to reinforce them with plates and pins. Your arm is going to be fine," Howie explained the best he could.

"You're sure?" she murmured.

"I'm positive--"

"I think I'll wait for Ana to tell me... Is she here?" Stephanie suddenly wondered, glancing hurriedly toward Howie. "Tell me Kevin didn't--"

"She's in the waiting room, she's fine, Kevin's not here."

"She actually came?"

"Why are you so surprised that people came to the hospital after getting into a serious car accident?"

"It's not like I've spent much time with her since..." Stephanie exhaled a soft breath. "I don't know... I'm just so happy with you here..."

"And I'm going to be spending the night," Howie ran his fingers through her long locks.

"Promise?" Stephanie breathed.

"With everything I am," he brushed a kiss against her forehead.

"...That was corny..."

"...I tried..." Howie chuckled.

"I love you," Stephanie whispered, cupping his cheek once more.

"I love you, too. Just promise me something."

"What?"

"Never drive when you're angry."

Stephanie glanced up at Howie with confusion. She tried to decide if she should be offended with his request. Was he saying that she was a horrendous driver? Wrinkling her nose with disgust, she lifted her right hand as if she were going to scold him, but stopped halfway. "What? Why?"

"I know you're a defensive driver, and that's good," Howie immediately replied to calm her down. "But a witness said you crashed was because you took your hands off the wheel to flip someone off... and you were angry... do you realize you could have died? That I might have been looking at you in a body bag instead of a hospital bed?"

"Howie--"

"I can't take that again, Stephanie. My heart can't stand the pain of losing you. Promise me that you won't drive when you’re angry. Please?"

Stephanie looked up into his brown eyes and her heart broke. She had truly scared him. "I promise. I won't drive when I'm angry."

"Thank you so much," Howie breathed, leaning to kiss her gently.

"Just don't ever call me a bad driver again."


~*~*~*~*~


"You know, if you really wanted to take a rest you could have just had a tantrum until Howie gave in," Brian teased as he and the others walked into Stephanie's room after giving the couple some alone time.

"Nah, she thought crashing an expensive rental car into a guide rail in the middle of the highway was far more effective than any silly tantrum," Ana murmured as she pulled away from a gentle hug with Stephanie. Unable to help herself, she went about checking the IV that was threaded into Stephanie's arm, assuring that it was intact and infusing properly. She then peeked inside the sling to assure that the staples were intact with no signs of infection.

"Yes Nurse, they've done everything right," Stephanie chided with a smile as Ana continued to check other things.

"Like you would know," Ana groaned, giving Stephanie a stern glare.

"It is one of the best hospitals in New York?"

"If not a close second."

"Then everything was done right--"

"And if it ever isn't you tell those nurses that I have no problem whatsoever with coming in here and--"

"Ana," Stephanie groaned with a soft laugh.

"I think that's her way of saying to sit down and behave. Don't worry, I get that all the time from the guys," Nick muttered loudly toward Ana, pulling her to sit in his lap.

"Since we're in the hospital, I'll allow her sitting on your lap once," Brian grumbled as he kissed Stephanie's cheek, tucking a cuddly white teddy bear between her side and left arm.

"Like I'm afraid of him," Nick scoffed toward Ana, resting his head against her back with a soft yawn.

"You sure did scream like a girl when he lifted you by the ankles," AJ snickered, placing a vase of flowers on the nightstand.

"Who knew that munchkin could lift me!" Nick exclaimed.

"Brian's full of surprises..." Stephanie mused.

"That's the best part," Ana murmured aloud.

"Ana!"

"What?"

"Don't need to hear about that!"

"About what?!"

"The length of his surprising--"

"Nick!" Howie growled.

"What?!"

"You two just keep getting into trouble," Stephanie shook her head.

"Two?" Nick and Ana questioned.

"Yes, two! One," she pointed to Nick. "And two!" she pointed to Ana.

"I hardly get in trouble," Ana scoffed.

"Do I need to tell the story of our senior year prank when you stole Flanagan's boxers in addition--"

"You can just shut the Hell up," Ana informed. "Injured or not, I'll kick your ass."

"Antsy much?" Nick laughed.

"She's just trying to embarrass me--"

"I got my entertainment, you don't have to worry. I won't tell them the story."

"She means Howie..." Brian guessed with a small smile, taking the seat beside Nick and Ana.

"More than likely--"

"More than likely? Who else would be your entertainment?" Howie raised an eyebrow.

"Tweedle dum and tweedle dee and tweedle dumber," Stephanie explained, gesturing toward Nick, Ana, and AJ with her good hand.

"At least she knows better to call me tweedle dee," AJ boasted with a grin.

"Excuse me, she called me tweedle dee," Nick disagreed.

"You're tweedle dumber!"

"Am not!"

"Brian..." Ana whined slightly, gesturing toward her lover's lap.

"Come on over," Brian chuckled as she climbed into his lap for protection as Nick and AJ continued to bicker.

"Those two ain't gonna stop for hours," Ana decided with a shudder as she nestled against Brian's chest, weaving his arms around her waist. Feeling comfortable, she watched as Howie took the nearest seat beside Stephanie, reaching for her hand. The care he took to softly caress the back of her hand caused a small smile to light Ana's face. "How you feeling, Stephanie?"

"Besides achy... just thankful I'm alive and have my friends here with me," Stephanie smiled as well, the stream of medications taking the edge off the pain from the accident and surgery.

"Do you need anything?"

"Actually... I'm really craving some Mickey D's... could someone sneak some in for me?"

"Let that anesthesia wear off first."

"How long does that take?"

"Give yourself a day to recover... Though Howie'll be sneaking down to get it anyway... So why I even bother..."

"Because it's in your maternal nature?"

"There is no way that I'm maternal."

"How can you not be? You always looked after me in Minnesota whenever we went out to the clubs."

"That's cause you drank like a--"

"Maternal instinct!"

Ana simply grinned impishly, which seemed to speak volumes in itself as Howie pried into Stephanie's alcoholic status.


~*~*~*~*~


"Finally alone," Stephanie smiled as the door closed for the last time. Her nurse had come into her room and announced visiting hours were over, so now it was her and Howie for the rest of the night.

"You act like this is some fancy hotel resort," Howie chuckled as he shifted uncomfortably in the chairs that would be his bed for the evening. Thanking his friends once more for rushing to his aid, he had no problem bidding them goodbye as he settled in for a long evening. "You know your nurse is going to be in here looking after you the whole night."

"Any time with you is like being at a fancy hotel resort," Stephanie gave half a shrug with a wink. "As long as we don't get caught--"

"Caught doing what?"

"Doing... whatever..."

"You're healing."

"Well, I didn't mean--"

"Sure..." Howie chuckled.

"Stop making me sound like a nympho!" Stephanie gave a pitiful pout.

"Never a nympho..."

"Then what?"

"I love you."

"Ooh... nice save."

"I'm getting better," Howie admitted as he leaned to kiss her once more, just utterly grateful that the accident hadn't been too serious.

"When I get out of here tomorrow, I'll give you a gold star," Stephanie giggled, playing with his silky curls. When the car crashed, she had thought she would never be able to touch Howie again and from then on, she wasn't going to take advantage of the simple things.

"I'd rather just have a kiss."

"Another nice save," she smiled, brushing her lips against his.

"I know."

"Are you really sleeping on those God-awful chairs?" Stephanie eyed the hard plastic furniture that made her back hurt just thinking about it.

"Yes, because I'm not leaving you and I can't fit on that bed without hurting you."

"You're going to be one big knot tomorrow and it'll be my fault..."

"I've slept in odder places," Howie promised as he gently rubbed the back of her hand in reassurance.

"I guess so..." Stephanie sighed, looking down at their linked hands. The unique mix of her fair skin and his caramel skin. She always thought it was a beautiful combination.

"You in pain?" Howie questioned worriedly, noticing the concentrated look on her beautiful face.

"No, I actually don't feel much pain right now. I was just looking and thinking..."

"About?"

"Our hands. And our skin... it just blends into something... amazing. It's hard to explain."

"So philosophical," Howie teased as he leaned to kiss her cheek once more.

"I was trying to be serious for once--"

"I'm sorry--"

"Howie--"

"I think you had a beautiful thought, Steph. I'm sorry."

"You don't have--"

"Will you please accept my apology?"

"...You think I had a beautiful thought?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. I assumed it was just a silly girly thought--"

"It wasn't a girly thought, Steph. It was heartfelt and meaningful and if that's what you truly feel, then it makes it all the better."

Stephanie smiled and kissed his hand. "I love you."

"I know."

"You know what else?"

"What?"

"If we ever have kids... they're going to be perfect."

Howie mustered a nervous smile. "Kids..."

Stephanie heard a little tremble in his voice and knew she had crossed a line. She could have kicked herself as her face turned red. She let go of Howie's hand and fiddled with the scratchy blanket covering her bottom half. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said--"

"Stephanie, it isn't like that--"

"We haven't been together that long... bringing up kids--"

"True, it's a little startling, but it makes me feel better to know that you want to have kids. I'm not getting any younger."

"But I--"

"It's okay."

"Howie--"

"Would you stop arguing with me?"

"Would you stop interrupting me?" Stephanie retorted with a smirk.

"If you stop arguing with me."

"Fine... I give up."

"Finally!" Howie breathed as he leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Now would you please rest? You won't be in the hospital that long and we're getting ready to leave on tour. It'll be busy. You need all the rest you can get."

"Alright, alright, I'll rest..." Stephanie laid back against the pillows and smiled softly. "Are you sure you're going to be okay on those chairs?"

"I'll live... Or maybe have Ana give me a back massage--" Howie yelped in shock as a pillow was sent in his direction. "Kidding! Kidding! Kidding!"

"Damn right, you're kidding," Stephanie scoffed, now a little uncomfortable without her second pillow.

"Jealous much?"

"You'd be jealous too if you had a handsome and sexy boyfriend who--"

"Loves his beautiful girlfriend very much."

"Howie--"

"Very much," Howie leaned over and silenced her with a kiss.

"Are you sure that you're okay? I mean, Hell, Cocci, you just got out of the hospital a few hours ago... Now we have to go out to dinner?" Ana questioned with extreme uncertainty as she watched her friend climb from Howie's Corvette. Holding her breath, she resisted the urge to reach out and help her, noticing the slight grimace to her friend's face. After all, she had just undergone sugery after having a serious accident... Now they were going out to dinner?

"I'm fine, CT. Really. I am going to be cooped up in the house until the Boys go on tour, and then I'll be cooped up in tour busses and hotels. A dinner outing is what I need," Stephanie reassured, smiling softly at the worry in her friends voice. Ana always worried, no matter what people told her.

"I just..." Ana trailed helplessly when Brian's hand landed gently on the small of her back, leading her toward the large booth in the bacl of the cafe. Howie had been quick in making plans for dinner, so it wasn't the best in the house. But better than what Ana could have ever hoped to get if she called last minute. Exhaling a soft breath as if to dispel her worries, she eased into the booth. "...So you're going on tour with them, huh?"

"Yeah. I don't think I could stand being away from Howie for so long... and I will be pretty useless at work until my arm heals. I've needed a vacation for a long time," Stephanie carefully slid into the booth, careful not to bump her arm as Howie sat next to her.

"So you have enough vacation time to go on the road and not lose your benefits? And you've tapped into your FMLA for the injury, right?" Ana continued to rattle off, focusing on the particulars of the situation as means to keep herself collected.

"I checked everything out with payroll earlier before I got discharged and they helped me out with everything else," Stephanie confirmed, cocking her head to the side as she studied the younger woman with a raised eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ana assured, reaching to take the menu into her hands. Opening it, she jerked when Brian's hand moved over her thigh in what was supposed to be a gentle carress. Cursing sharply at the stinging sensation evading her right leg, she bit down hard on her bottom lip in hopes to control herself. "Just worried about you. Sorry, B."

"I'm going to be fine, Ana. Try not to worry too much, okay?" Stephanie grabbed the menu with her left hand, fumbling to open it.

"She's going to have a horrible ulcer by the time she's thirty," Howie surmised, grasping the menu and laying it open upon the table. Easing his arm around Stephanie's shoulders, he gently guided her closer so they could look at the menu together.

"I think I already have a hole in my stomach. Ulcers are wicked; fluids can leak out and mix with--"

"Babe, let's save the health lesson for after dinner," Brian interrupted with a chuckle, leaning over to kiss her cheek. He had never seen Ana so anxious before, but they were all still a little shaken up from Stephanie's accident. It was natural.

"Sorry," Ana apologized once more, smiling ruefully when Brian blatantly gestured to his hand to signal that he was attempting to touch her. Holding her breath to resist cursing him, she took his hand to place upon her upper thigh once more. She then forced herself to study the menu, though nothing looked appetizing. "...What are the chances that I'm going to get souveniers from every place you visit?"

"Souveniers? You mean you aren't going?" Stephanie looked up from the menu, shock etched on her bruised face. "We had already planned--"

"We didn't plan anything, Cocci," Ana interupted uneasily, feeling Brian's fingers tense over her thigh. Biting down on her bottom lip, she focused her gaze on the list of options, barely listening to Howie requesting drinks for everyone. After her uncomfortable encounter with Kevin while gathering some necessities for Stephanie's over-night stays in the hospital... She wouldn't even dream of going on tour... Had made sure it was impossible...

"We went out shopping to get ready for touring!" Stephanie contradicted after the waitress had left. "Why are you changing your mind? I had been looking forward to spend these next few months with you."

"Because I looked into my schedule and... It's just not... I don't..." Ana subconciously reached to gently rub her lower back. Kevin had not been kind when he insisted that she move on when they left for tour. His large, beefy hands roughly seizing her upper arms and throwing her into a wall. It felt as if her entire life force had been pushed out of her body as her breath gave way.

"If you weren't sure because of work, why did you commit to going?" Stephanie's eyes, filled with hurt, merely gazed upon her best friend and frowned. What had made her decide against touring all of a sudden?

"A lot of work suddenly came up..." Ana fumbled to explain, noticing Howie and Brian were also looking to her in confusion. "Besides... C'mon, no one can survive having me by their side for longer than a week... You guys cooped up on busses with me would be a horror..."

"We just found each other again here in New York. I had thought we would become as close as we once were. Probably even more," Stephanie sighed softly, turning her gaze down to her injured arm. "But... work is a priority, I know."

"C'mon, Cocci, it's not the end of the world..." Ana attempted to rally, reaching to rub one of her aching upper arms. "Brian isn't upset..."

"I'm not? This is the first I heard that you aren't going on tour," Brian disagreed with a heavy frown. It didn't make sense that she would assume he's not upset about her bailing out on touring.

'This is the first time I was told that I wouldn't be going on tour unless I was stuffed dead into a suitcase...' Ana thought miserably, somewhat thankful when the waitress returned for their orders. Stiffly, the table decided on what they would eat, though she couldn't even recall what she had mumbled when the woman walked away. Everything was just so terribly complicated...

"Were you ever planning on telling us that work wasn't allowing you to go on tour?" Stephanie questioned, watching Ana's demeanor change to meek and quiet once they were alone again.

"I didn't think it'd be such a big deal--" Cutting off sharply at some sort of disgruntled noise errupting from Brian's throat, Ana's shoulders rounded forward in guilt. "...I didn't know how to tell you..."

"Were you ever going to tell me? Or would I have found out the day we're leaving and you weren't packed?"

"I had every intention of going until two nights ago and I'm sorry--"

"We had so much planned, Ana."

"B, I know--"

"What is so damn important at work that you have to do and no one else?" Brian challenged. He felt he had a right to be upset about this change of plans. He thought Ana was serious about their relationship.

As easy as it had been as a child to weave fibs to explain away the inconsistencies of her injuries, Ana found herself at a loss to explain this decision. The darkness sweeping over Brian's usually light ceurlean eyes caused a hard ache to cramp. She wanted to confess to him that Kevin had been the source of her decision. That he had been so brutal that she feared being literally thrown from the bus should she agree to tour. But, how could she possibly tell him that his older cousin was the source of her pain? Overwhelmed, she reached with trembling hands to work the start of tears away from her watery sapphire eyes. "...I don't know..."

"You don't know? If you just don't want to go, I would rather have you say that than lie to me. We had agreed to be honest in our relationship," Brian's voice was cold and crisp. He had been thrilled to know every morning when he woke up on tour he wasn't going to be alone in his bunk, and that it was going to be Ana in his arms instead of Nick or AJ playing a prank on him. He would be able to show her the sites of so many different cities, and make love in all of them. But apparently, that wasn't what she had in mind.

"Brian..." Howie trailed gently when he noticed Ana start to tremble as she wrapped her arms protectively about herself. Something about the situation hadn't made sense from the beginning. He had been with the women when they shopped for the tour. Ana had mentioned how excited she was to travel and nothing could possibly stop her from going. Yet... Certain that the man's temper was about to send the young woman into some sort of fit, he reached to take Ana's hand. "C'mon, Sweetheart. Let's go get everyone special drinks at the bar."

"...Okay," Ana whispered, allowing Howie to take her hand and lead her towards the bar. She could almost feel Brian's eyes burning a hole into her back and a harsh tremor went through her body. She thought staying away from the tour to live was a better choice than going on tour and having Kevin beat her to death.

Glancing behind him to assure that they were out of sight from their significant others, Howie made a slight detour so he could take the young woman outside. The crispness of the night's spring air caused Ana to take a sharp breath, but allowed her the chance of calming considerably. He was silent as she sagged against the wall and took several gulps of air, as if she had been suffocated inside. "Ana..."

"I'm not like her. Please don't compare me to her," Ana murmured, well aware that the fight Howie witnessed was probably quite similar to the fights that raged between Brian and Leighanne.

"Her? You mean... Oh God, no! I would never think you are like Leighanne. But I do know that something is wrong. You looked like you were about to have a nervous breakdown. What's wrong?" Howie reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Please don't," she was quick to demand, shrinking away at his light touch. The excruciating fire from the dark bruises flared at the quick movement and she bit down hard on her bottom lip in attempts to control the flood of tears. Knowing her movements were exaggerated, she squeezed her eyes closed as Howie gently pulled at the vivid orange hoodie draped over her shoulders to reveal the bruises.

"What the... Ana... what happened?" Howie's voice was soft yet shocked as an array of purples, blacks and greens stood out against the orange of her hoodie.

"I'm clumsy as Hell," she attempted to explain, carefully pulling the hoodie back onto her shoulders. "My house is such a mess and I just trip and... It's a nightmare..."

"You got all those bruises fromm tripping? Did you land on the coffee table or something? Those bruises are pretty rough--"

"Coffee table covered in clean clothes, yeah, I could buy that..."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. I'm fine--"

"You go wrestling on a coffee table and you're fine?"

"Yes, but... That's not the point..."

"What is the point?"

"That I can't go on the tour."

"Why?"

"Howie, I already explained it... I have new projects at work..." Ana trailed off, looking away from Howie's sincere, dark eyes.

"And you can't work on the road? Because it's so hard to pack up the laptop that you work from at home?" he questioned gently, hoping to make a point that her excuse was not concievable.

"I have an office too, y'know..."

"An awesome office that you barely use because you enjoy being home in a pair of boxers and barefoot, researching, right?" At her bewildered expression, he chuckled. "Brian thought that was adorable and had to tell me."

"I love him so much..."

"And he loves you even more, which is why it's hurting him that you are going to choose work over spending time with him on tour."

"It's too soon for him to get so involved again. I mean... The therapist is still visiting him and he's taking the anti-depressants. It's not exactly a prime time for him to be in such a serious relationship. After getting out of another one," she suddenly decided, glancing at the dark bruises on her right wrist. "Kevin said that me going on tour wouldn't exactly help--"

"Wait. When did you talk to Kevin? You are never around him to have any words exchanged," Howie glanced at Ana in confusion. The woman was scared of the man. It wouldn't make sense for her to speak with him.

Exhaling a hard breath, Ana glanced to her scuffed Converses, wishing she had censored her statements. "The other night when I stopped by the hotel to grab some of Cocci's things and he was there--"

"Why did you go by yourself? Where was Brian?"

"He was taking a nap. I just thought I would run in and be out before anyone noticed--"

"What did he say to you?" Howie held back a sigh as the wind picked up a little. If Kevin had caught Ana in the hotel, more than just bitter words could have possibly been passed.

"That it's probably not the best time for me to be going on tour with Brian. He's still seeing the therapist and he just got out of a toxic relationship... He doesn't need to be concentrating on another relationship. He should be having time to spend with his friends and enjoy his career--"

"That isn't Kevin's decision. It's yours and Brian's. And if Brian wants you to go on tour, no one has any say in it except the two of you."

"But I understand what he means--"

"It doesn't matter. Kevin does not have a say in your relationship. You can't let him try and control it."

"I don't want to get between him and his cousin..."

"Don't you love Brian?"

"Howie--"

"He loves you, Ana. A lot. You've done so much for him these past few weeks. He is the same Brian I remember before he met Leighanne. He is truly happy. And if you let Kevin take that away... I don't want to think of what could happen."

"Please don't guilt her into staying with me," Brian announced softly as he stepped outside. Stephanie had done her best to calm him considerably, but he found himself just needing to speak to Ana. Moving to the bar, he wasn't surprised to find it void of his friends' presence. After all, Ana detested the smell of smoke and the bar permeated with the plumes of thick smoke. But, instead of charging right out, he had listened to what the two spoke of. But the guilt that Howie was trying to press on Ana wasn't fair.

"Brian..." Ana trailed softly when Howie cleared his throat and assured that he know would go get some drinks before returning to Stephanie. "He's not guilting me into anything."

"I want you to stay with me because you want to. Not because people convinced you to," Brian leaned against the wall of the building, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he gazed into her sorrowful eyes. He had been upset that Ana changed her mind about the tour, but he loved her. And he would do whahtever it takes to make sure she was happy; even if it meant that they would be apart while touring.

"My poor B," she sighed, gently cupping his face in her hands. Delicately, her thumbs moved down the sides of his face as she leaned to press a kiss to the center of his forehead. "Of course I want to be with you. I just worry that maybe you're taking things too fast..."

"I don't feel like I'm going too fast. I thought it would be nice for you to come on tour with me, so we wouldn't be lonely," he explained, placing his hands on top of hers.

"Kevin suggested that I not go on tour with you," she murmured after a moment of silence had lapsed between them.

"Oh he did, did he?" Brian couldn't stop the soft growl that followed.

"He just mentioned that you just got out a bad relationship and you're still seeing the therapist and on the anti-depressants and--"

"And he has no say in what I do with my life. For the first time in so many years... I am happy. It's because of you."

"But I just--"

"Ana, I love you. I think I fell in love with you the minute we ran into each other. You saved me, and nothing can change how I feel. But if you don't feel comfortable going on tour with me, I don't want to force you. I would rather have you want to go, and enjoy it."

"It's not that... I just..." Sighing softly when Brian gently pulled her in to offer a reassuring kiss, she knew that he was disappointed. The thought of spending the tour with him had been so promising. Just the thought of traveling and experiencing some of the greatest sights known to man. And Kevin had to ruin it. "I love you so much, B."

"I love you, too. More than anything," Brian ran his fingers through her curls and offered a smile. "I'll tell you what. Let's enjoy my remaining time in New York and then, the day before we leave, you can tell me whether you want to stay or go. And I will understand."

"I don't even want to think about you leaving..."

"Then let's not. We will do anything and everything you want. Okay?"

"C'mere," she instructed after a moment, pulling her hands from his face and tugging till he stood away from the wall. Tucking her arms around his waist, she rested her cheek against his chest, exhaling a soft sigh of relief when his arms naturally circled about her. There was no way that she could part with such warmth for several agonizing months. "...Are you going to think I'm completely insane if I ask to come on tour with you?"

"Insane? Never... Though touring does change one's mental status--"

"Does that mean that Kevin might actually like me?"

"I am hoping," Brian chuckled softly, kissing the top of her head. "Just give him time... he will come around."

"I just don't understand why he hates me so much," Ana murmured as Brian led her back into the cafe.

"I don't, either. He has been protective of me from the beginning, but..." Brian trailed off, hugging her close to his side. "Don't worry, Baby. Everything will work out."

"As long as you promsie you're coming on tour," Stephanie demanded when the couple approached.

"If he still wants me," Ana murmured.

"I never stopped," Brian promised, allowing her to sit in the booth first and he followed.

"I think you just need to have it out with Kevin," Stephanie decided matter-of-factly after hearing Howie's explanation to Ana's troubles. "He has no right to tell her not to come to tour."

"No matter what I say, he isn't going to listen," Brian took a sip of his drink and curled Ana closer to his side. "He's an old, stubborn jackass."

"But you don't think you should defend her?"

"I am going to tell him that I love Ana, and that he has to deal with her going on tour. I could tell him how great she is until I'm blue in the face, but he wouldn't listen."

"Don't even worry about it," Ana murmured with a delicate shrug of her aching shoulders.

"Well he has to know you're going on tour--"

"I don't want you to fight him. He's a lot stronger than you, B."

"Are you saying--"

"That I don't want you to get hurt? Yes."

"Kev can get violent when he's angry, Bri... you have seen it," Howie commented quietly.

"Too violent," Ana sighed.

"Has anyone suggested anger management to him?" Stephanie asked.

"C'mon now, Kevin may be a lot of things, but he's not a monster," Brian chided with a look of hurt. Yes, Kevin could tend to get overbearing at times, but he was no where near the level of the men that needed anger management. He had never raised a hand to any of them. No matter how far he was pushed...

"I didn't say he was a monster. I would never say that. God, growing up... Kevin was the father figure I never had. I'm just saying that maybe he needs to be steered in the right direction on handling his emotions," Stephanie tried to explain, realizing she had yet another episode of foot-in-mouth.

'I'd disagree,' Ana thought somewhat bitterly, carefully reaching for her glass of soda. He was the monster that haunted her dreams in ways that she could never explain.

"Kevin doesn't need help, so drop it, Steph."

"Bri-Rok, I'm just saying--"

"He's a great man and I don't need to hear this bullshit."

"I was just trying to help," Stephanie blinked away unshed tears as she scrambled out of the booth. The trauma from the accident and the pain in her arm was already hard for her to handle; Brian's cold attitude towards her was pushing her to an edge where she didn't want to fall.

"Steph, don't," Howie quickly commanded, reaching for her good hand so she wouldn't trip against him. Guiding her back into the booth, he leaned to press a soft kiss to her brow. Though he understood that Kevin was Brian's flesh and blood, he still couldn't fathom as to how the young man could explaina way the turmoil Kevin caused in his relationship. So, instead, he mediatated. "The last time you went running into the night, I got a phone call from the hospital, and I'm not doing that again. We're just not going to talk about Kevin."

"Fine," Stephanie whispered, looking down at the table as their food arrived though no one had an appetite.

~*~*~*~*

"C'mon, Sweetie... he's not mad at you," Howie tried to soothe as he slipped the card into the electronic slot and opened the door. He placed a hand on the small of Stephanie's back and led her inside, frowning slightly as he heard her sniffle. Dinner had been tense and soon after the couples split their ways. "Kevin has been taking care of Brian since they were kids. He's just a little defensive."

"But I don't understand why you didn't try to help me, Howie," Stephanie stressed as she rubbed her reddened nose on the back of her hand. Stepping into the living room area of the large suite, she turned to watch Howie step in behind her. "Kevin has been absolutely rotten to Ana and she's done nothing wrong. She acts like it doesn't matter, but it does. He was going to stop her from coming on the tour."

"Steph, the Pope could tell Brian that his cousin needs anger management and he would still react the way he did tonight. Having me step in wouldn't have made any difference," Howie closed the door and proceeded towards the living room where they could hear a video game playing. "Kevin is going to see that Ana is here to stay and he will accept her."

"She's been with Brian for weeks and he's yet to accept her--"

"I never said it was going to happen overnight."

"Why does everyone walk on eggshells when it concerns him?"

"We don't--"

"Damnit, AJ! Stop cheating!" Nick's voice screeched, interrupting the couple's conversation as they reached the living room.

"How the fuck am I cheating when you're the one that's got me pinned?!" AJ grunted with disgust, working furiously to free his leg from Nick's pin in order to slam his foot into the backside pressed so tightly against his chest.

"Shit!" Nick flew forward, nearly cracking his head on the edge of the heavy mahogany coffee table.

"Okay, you two! I just brought one person back from the hospital; I don't want to bring back any more," Howie groaned as Nick sprawled out on the plush carpet.

"Tell the dickhead to stop cheating then," AJ growled, throwing an accusatory finger in Nick's direction.

"I was not cheating!"

"You were, too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too--"

"Enough! Just stop playing the game for awhile. What the Hell happened while I was gone? Everything was fine before I left."

"You left before we started playing his stupid game," AJ explained, heaving a pillow in Nick's direction.

"You're the one who chose to play!" Nick's voice was muffled behind the pillow.

"Nice homecoming," Stephanie muttered, sinking down into the loveseat with a soft hiss as the pain in her arm flared.

"You could go back to where ever you came from, y'know," AJ volunteered with a wicked smirk.

"Such a caring bunch this is," Stephanie rolled her eyes as she threw her own pillow at AJ, knocking the hat off his head.

"We love you too," Nick promised, crossing his heart.

"And here I thought you all had some sort of charm that made all the girls swoon," Stephanie chuckled softly, leaning her head back and closing her eyes for a moment. The day had been long and the pain was getting to her.

"Right... and who are you dating right now?"

"Don't even start," Howie warned of his youngest friend, suggesting that perhaps they should order some snacks from room service. Just the sound of food caused the youngest of the men to scamper in search of the hotel menu as the second youngest tackled the phone. Smirking slightly, Howie turned to gently brushed his fingers over Stephanie's forehead. "Tired, Sweetheart?"

"It came out of nowhere," Stephanie opened her eyes and smiled softly, loving the sensation of his fingers on her skin. "My arm is starting to hurt, too..."

"I'm sorry," Howie murmured softly, leaning to press a soft kiss to her forehead.ll

"It's my own fault. I should have been more careful driving," Stephanie gave a small shrug, taking his hand and pulling him onto the loveseat. Nick bounded back into the room with a menu and a grin on his face as AJ got through to room service.

"You're right about that," Howie agreed, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"How much food can they eat?" Stephanie asked incredulously as she heard AJ rattle off all the food he and Nick wanted. It seemed like they were going to empty out the hotel kitchen with the order. She had heard the two youngest members loved to eat, but to see it firsthand was something entirely different.

"Maybe they're ordering for Kevin too?" Howie suggested with a light shrug of his shoulders.

"He's not here," Nick answered, gesturing toward several more items before declaring that he was finished.

"He's not here?"

"You sound like a parrot," AJ commented as he hung up the phone.

"Shut up, J. When did he leave?"

"A few hours ago?" Nick answered, though he didn't seem too definite.

"Did he say where he was going?"

"I think he was going to hang out at some old jazz bar he found downtown. Y'know, where all the old people go," AJ put in his two cents and Nick snickered with a snort in response.

"Did he say when he'd be back?"

"He just said he would be back later."

"Did you try calling his cell phone?"

"Why?"

"Aren't you worried that he's in downtown New York City... alone... with no bodyguard?"

"Not really..." Nick answered with a casual shrug of his shoulders. "The man could kick my ass and I'm pretty sure he can handle a few groupies... Besides, he told me to back off and I had no desire to get thrown into a wall like Ana did."

"What did you just say?" Stephanie sat up with a jerk and looked at Nick intently.

"What'd I do?"

"Who threw Ana into a wall?"

"I..."

"Nick, you better start explaining."

"There's nothing to explain--"

"Why the Hell did you let him slam Ana into a wall?!"

"I didn't let him do a fucking thing!" Nick immediately exclaimed when Howie reached for the collar of his shirt, yanking him onto the nearby couch. Throwing his hands up in defense, he waited for an oncoming blow like the one he recieved when he attempted to defend Ana. But when nothing came, he shivered with relief. "I just heard Kev yelling and I thought... I don't know what I thought... And... Look, it's not my fault, alright?"

"Nick, you're not making a lot of sense. What happened? Did you see Kevin hurt Ana or did you just hear things?" Howie questioned, glancing at AJ. "Were you here when this happened, J?"

"I wasn't here," AJ answered honestly. though he remembered Nick coming to him with the horrifying news.

"Nick, you need to tell me what happened. Now."

"I was just waking up from a nap and... Maybe they were just messing around--"

"Don't make excuses. What was going on when you woke up from your nap?"

"I don't know," Nick answered honestly, reaching to fuss with the frayed edges of hole in his jeans located over his knee. "I just heard Kevin barking at someone. I thought I was late for an interview again so I came rushing out. By the time I got there Ana was up against the wall and Kevin was holding her there. But he released her and she said everything was fine--"

"Damnit... Nick, you should have called me when you saw that..." Howie groaned, rubbing his weary face for a moment. It explained Ana's demeanor and the bruises he found on her shoulders.

"Why?" Nick questioned in confusion.

"Ana was acting really odd tonight at dinner. She suddenly said she couldn't go on tour because work came up and I found bruises on her shoulders when we were talking outside."

"You found bruises?" Stephanie questioned with surprise, not remembering that specific portion of the conversation.

"...Yeah. I didn't tell you at the restaurant because Ana was edgy enough as it was. I didn't want to make things worse."

"And you didn't think I needed to know?"

"I was going to talk to you about all this when we got back to the hotel."

"You should have told me right away."

"And have you pounce on Ana like a hawk about them? The woman was shaken up enough from Kevin."

"But you just let Brian assume that Kevin did nothing wrong--"

"Steph, you don't understand. I was thinking about Ana. Didn't you see how she was shaking when Brian was confronting her about skipping the tour? Or how quiet she was? Or how she made sure all of the attention was on you? Brian would flip out if he knew what Kevin did, and I didn't want him scaring Ana away."

"You guys are acting like Kevin is some horrible beast set out to devour Ana whole," AJ interupted before Stephanie could protest his decision. Glancing amongst the men - his bandmates - he shook his head in disbelief. "C'mon now, this is Kevin we're talking about. Never balls to the wall. Always serious. Always working. Always... Kevin!"

"But that doesn't mean he's perfect. I'm not calling him a monster or anything like that. But I've heard how he talks about Ana and his dislike for her. It's almost extreme and I'm just worried--"

"That he might hurt her?" AJ finished, snorting sharply when she refused to answer. Looking to Nick and Howie, he laughed. "C'mon now, we're talking about Kevin! The man that boxed my ears when I called my first girlfriend a whore. He'd never do something like that."

"J..." Nick trailed off, sighing heavily. They had to face the possibilities. "He did slam Ana into a wall."

"You probably have it all turned around, Nick," AJ immediately disagreed.

"How? I heard him barking at her and then a heavy thud into the wall. I'm pretty damn sure it wasn't Ana throwing Kevin."

"She could surprise you--"

"Ana would not provoke him. She knows that he doesn't like her and if she had an inkling that he was here, she never would have come to get some of my things," Stephanie interrupted with a frown. AJ was nearly accusing Ana of starting such a confrontation.

"Look--"

"Th'Hell is going on here?" Brian questioned in confusion as he stepped into the living room. The hostility was almost overbearing, adding a significant amount of tension to his already knotted shoulders. Dropping Ana off at her apartment when he had really intended on spending the night with her... Then he comes back to the hotel to chaos... He just wanted to take a sleeping pill and fall into bed.

"Nothing, Rok. What are you doing here?" AJ abruptly changed the subject. "I thought you would be staying at Ana's--"

"I thought so too..." Brian mumbled, tossing his keys to the rental car onto the coffee table.

"What happened?" Stephanie questioned, confused at the change in Brian's demeanor. She had expected him to stay with Ana and make things better.

"I don't know," Brian answered honestly, sliding to the side when a knock came upon the door. Nick and AJ barreling toward it told him enough, so he moved to sit on the empty couch. Sprawling out, he rested his forearms over his face, gathering a large breath. "We were... I was planning on... Well, whatever I was planning on doing with her, she wasn't thinking the same thing. She said she had a meeting with her editor early the next morning so..."

"You wanted to make love and she didn't want to," Howie guessed quite suddenly, recalling the darkness of bruises along her usually softly tanned skin. Dark eyes widening when he realized he had said his thoughts aloud, he offered a hard blush. "Sorry Brian."

"Don't worry about it, D... you're right. I did, and she didn't. I wish she would have just told me that instead of making up that lie about meeting her editor," Brian sighed again, gently tugging at his sandy curls.

"She probably does have to meet with her editor," Stephanie chided with a hard scowl.

"On a Sunday morning?"

"If they need to discuss an article, it doesn't matter what day it is."

"Besides... She told me she took a tumble on some stairs earlier and she's probably still sore from that, Brian. Can't hold it over her head if she's a bit clumsy, right?" Howie offered, sending a warning glance toward his lover.

"No, I can't. I'm just not used to her sending me back to the hotel. Her apartment has become my second home," Brian admitted, ducking slightly as AJ and Nick came running back into the living room with a full cart of different foods and drinks.

"Well, be thankful you're here instead of in the hurricane wreckage of her house?" Howie chuckled in attempts to lighten his friend's mood.

"I remember when we were in high school and I would hang out at her house," Stephanie smiled at the memory. "I was also terrified that her piles of clothes would eat me alive. It was terrible."

"She has an organized mess," Brian contradicted with a light scowl, hoping to defend her honor somewhat.

"She's just not a neat freak, and I shouldn't talk because I'm not much better," Stephanie admitted, chuckling.

"Yeah, you should see what she does to my room," Howie teased, though he couldn't deny he was a bit concerned about her lack of neatness. "I can't imagine what my bus will look like."

"I'll make sure to wash my nylons and hang them all over the bathroom," Stephanie teased right back, poking her lover in the side.

"Terrific..." Howie groaned.

"Oh, you know you're going to love having me on tour!" Stephanie watched Howie's face and couldn't read the reaction. She scowled. "'Right? HOWARD?"

"You guys are like an old married couple," Brian decided when Howie yelped at the way his lover jabbed at his ribs.

"That's because they're old to begin with," Nick chirped, his mouth stuffed with half a cheeseburger and some fries.

"I'd have to agree with that," Brian conferred.

"You're right behind Howie, Mr. Littrell. You aren't exactly a spring chicken," Stephanie narrowed her eyes with yet another scowl.

"But he's dating a young filly," AJ observed.

"That's what older men do -- date younger women."

"Now wait a damn--" Howie stopped mid-sentence and shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "It's called the good life, what can I say?"

From the beginning, Ana had felt unsure about that moment of her life when dawn was threatening to break and she was startled from a sound sleep with a loud series of bangs on her front door. She had first wanted to ignore what she assumed to be a drunken soliciter, considering she lived in New York City. But the pestering had become increasingly demanding, so she had to drag herself from the depth of her comforters. Rubbing her face to clear away the drowsiness of sleep, she carefully slipped down the steps of her home. Announcing that she was coming, she had hoped that the knocking would cease, but it became louder than before. Wrinkling her nose, she peered out of the window beside her door and felt her heart give at the sight of Kevin. "What the Hell are you doing here?"

"Let me in."

"It's four in the morning! Go back to the hotel."

"No, you're going to let me in."

"Kevin--"

"NOW!" Kevin pounded as hard as he could on the door, causing Ana to jump. A shriek caught in her throat as she fumbled for her cell phone; maybe just a threat of the police would scare him away.

"Get out of here or I'm calling the police!"

"Stop fucking around Ana!" Kevin growled, reaching for the doorknob to rattle it furiously. But the door would not budge. The alcohol that he had dumped into his system had finally started to take effect. The lightheadedness giving way to the numbness of his body. But the stark contrast was the way that the liquor had intensified his emotions. He could think of nothing else but the disaster that his young cousin was getting himself into and wanted to put an end to it. Now. So, with all his strength, he forced his fist through the window beside the door, fumbling till he reached the lock.

"Damnit Kevin! I'm calling the police!" Ana hollered with disbelief, stumbling backward when the door was forced open. Cell phone sliding out of her hands, she stumbled in attempts to reach it, yelping sharply when a fistful of her honey blonde curls were yanked and she was forced to stand. "Kevin, don't--"

"You couldn't just leave things alone! No! I told you to stay away from my cousin, but you just kept coming back! This is over, Ana! DONE! And I am going to make sure that you understand this time!" Kevin grasped Ana's throat and made her look into his eyes. "Stay away from Brian."

"O-Okay," Ana promised with a hard whimper when she was slammed against the nearby wall. Squeezing her eyes closed, she listened to the shattering of glass around her as pictures fell. But he still kept a tight hold over her throat, constricting the flow of air. The smell of stale liquor was overpowering as his hot breath flooded over her face. Wheezing, she squirmed in attempts to break free, but he continued to rage. Fearing she might lose conciousness, she brought her knee to his groin as hard as she possibly could. Immediately, he released her throat and she fell to the floor. Grunting, she crawled over the glass and sought any sort of weapon.

"You. Stupid. BITCH!" Kevin roared, holding a hand to his groin while using the other to get back on his feet. Anger seemed to course through his veins as he watched her search frantically for some sort of protection. He had thought roughing the woman up would be easy like in the hotel, but she proved to be a fighter when provoked. He would have to change that.

Not bothering to answer his displeasure, Ana scrambled from the floor and stumbled into her kitchen. Her heart hammered wildly against her ribcage as if fighting to break free. Cold sweat clung to her dampened locks. Squinting in the darkness, she felt dismay when she found nothing except for her baseball bat from a recent outing with Brian to the parks. Hearing the lumbering of a somewhat injured man, she seized up the bat and turned sharply. "Kevin! Stop!"

"I'm not going to stop. Slamming you into that hotel wall did SHIT. So, I'm going to have to really make my fucking point," Kevin growled, his voice low and dangerous as he eyed the bat in her hands. "Brian will end up looking at you in a body bag if you don't put the bat down."

"If you don't get the fuck away from me, I'm going to put you in the damn body bag, Kevin," Ana threatened, stepping forward in hopes that he would take a step back. But when he stood his ground, she felt her heart lurch painfully. She didn't want to hit the man. She truly didn't.

"Are you going to hit me? Try it. Then maybe Brian will truly see how much of a conniving bitch you really are."

When he advanced, Ana recoiled and aimed the bat for his head. But the courage behind her swing was less than impressive and he took the brunt of the hit into his palm. Gripping the end of the bat, he gave a firm yank, causing her to fall forward and him to gain control. And he wasted no time in bringing the bat across her back. Immediately, the air was crushed from her lungs and she sprawled onto her stomach, unable to comprehend the pain surging through her lower back.

"Fucking pathetic. You can't beat me, Ana. I always," Kevin pressed the end of the bat into her flaming back and grinned as she screamed. "Win."

"Okay, you win," she gasped when he grabbed a fistful of her hair to flip her over. Inhaling in hopes to garnish of breath of air, she winced when his foot dug into the pit of her stomach. "Kevin, I'm sorry--"

"You haven't even begun to be sorry for all the shit you've caused. Not in the fucking least!" Kevin raised the bat and swung down as hard as he could, not caring what the destination was, as long as he heard screams of pain.

A hot, white flash of searing pain ripped through her leg when the bat connected with her right knee and the joint gave way beneath the force. Yet Kevin didn't bother to wait for the pain to dissipate. Instead, he dropped to his knees on her gut and curled his hands into powerful fists. Furiously, he layered her body with heavy blows, screaming horrible explitives in her ear. "Stop," she gasped in a hoarse whisper. "I'll leave him alone. Stop--"

"I knew you were nothing but a sack of lies. If you had really loved him, nothing would have made you leave him alone," Kevin laughed harshly, stopping his blows to grasp her throat once again. "If you change your mind and go back to him, I will kill you. Without a second thought. You got that?"

Ana attempted to nod in confirmation of his demands, just hoping that perhaps he would allow her a chance to rest. The world was weighing heavily on her. Practically threatening to consume her should she allow her eyes to close. But the darkness seeping into her seemed so warm. So comforting. Offering her a chance to escape the pain if she would submit. But, she was unable to consent when Kevin grabbed a fistful of her bloody honey curls and slammed her head to the wooden floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Are you sure she didn't show up? Ana's not like that."

"I am absolutely sure, sir. She didn't not come in for the meeting, nor did she call to say she was unavailable. There's nothing else I can tell you."

"Alright... will you please tell her to call Brian if she does come in?"

"I will, sir. Have a nice day."

"Thank you," Brian hung up and dialed her cell phone once again. He had been trying to get a hold of her for over an hour and he still wasn't having any luck--

Hi, you've reached my cell phone. Obviously I can't answer right now... More than likely I am busy getting my groove on with B in random places of my apartment--

Ana! Baby, what are you doing?

Nothing, B! For God sakes, put some clothes on!

You know you love seeing this! Brian could hear himself tackle Ana to the couch, and her giggles filter through the voicemail.

Leave a message... I might get back to you if this monkey ever gets off of me! *beep!*

"Hey Sweetheart, it's your B... I know this is probably the millionth message that I've left since... God knows when... But I really need you to call me back. I'm not mad about last night, honest. I just... I want to hear your voice, Baby. Please call me as soon as possible--" Grunting in dismay when the voicemail chirped with annoyance, indicating that his message was done despite his need to continue, Brian tossed his cell phone to the coffee table. Collapsing into the couch once more, he ran his hands furiously through his sandy curls and concentrated on a benign spot on the ceiling. He couldn't imagine why she wasn't answering...

She didn't show up to her meeting. Her cell phone was going straight to voicemail. Her home home was off the hook. He prayed that she wasn't just ignoring his calls, afraid he was upset with her. Brian sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment. The more he thought about the weird circumstances, the more he worries. If only she would call him back--

"Hey Brian, you done playing the obsessive boyfriend? Because I've been dying to go out to eat for hours and you refuse to answer me--" Nick stopped shortly when Brian offered him a furious glance. "...What'd I say now?"

"I am not obsessive. I'm worried."

"So she's not answering her phone... maybe she's sleeping after that meeting with her editor."

"She never showed up to that meeting."

"What? Why the Hell would she skip out on that?" Nick furled his eyebrows in confusion. Ana took work very seriously and wouldn't miss a single meeting, even if she was on her death bed.

"If I knew, do you think I'd be here?"

"Bri, there could be a number of reasons why she didn't go to the meeting. It doesn't mean something bad happened!"

"It just doesn't feel right."

"Then go over to her apartment."

"You--" Brian suddenly vaulted to his feet. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're not a genius like me--"

"Are you coming?"

"Me? Oh Hell no, what if you find her dismembered or something? I'd puke on her remains and then they'd implicate me in her murder and--"

"Shut up and nevermind," Brian groaned, trying not to create such an image in his mind as he went into his room to get sneakers and a hat.

"But what about lunch?!"

"I'm sorry, but my girlfriend is more important than food!" Brian rolled his eyes in disbelief, pushing his favorite UK hat over his locks. "No wonder you're single!"

"I'm single because there's too much man beneath this t-shirt for one woman. Every lady needs a piece-- Hey! D! Tell him how much of a man I am!"

Slipping out of his room where Stephanie had finally allowed herself the chance to rest with a fresh dose of pain medication, Howie arched his dark brows in surprise at being comendeered to Nick's fight for manhood. Opening his mouth with every intention of teasing the man, he glanced sideways to see Brian hurriedly collecting his things throughout the living room. "...Where you going, Brian?"

"Ana's."

"Why?"

"Bri thinks there's something wrong because she didn't show up to some meeting and isn't answering the phone," Nick spoke for Brian, who was stuffing his feet into his sneakers. "I'm telling you, bro, she's sleeping! You are worried over nothing."

"I do remember Steph saying that the girl won't budge an inch for nothing if she cuddled under warm blankets and enjoying--" Stopping his attempt to soothe the man's worries, Howie reached for his coat and jacket. "Want company?"

"Please," Brian stood up and slipped on his jean jacket.

"What about lunch?!" Nick complained once again as the two older man made their way out of the penthouse.

"Kevin can take you," Howie called, gesturing toward the large man stepping out of the elevator. Only, a short gasp caught in his throat when he noticed how the man shuffled painfully toward them, holding what appeared to be a large cast of a right hand against his chest. "What the Hell happened to you?"

"Nothing," Kevin muttered, squinting against the brightness of the hallway lights. His head throbbed with a fresh sting of pain from the invasion of voices, but he still proceeded forward. He wanted nothing more than to crawl deep into the layers of his bed and forget about the world.

"Nothing? Kev, your hand is in a cast!"

"I said nothing, D. Fucking leave it be."

"...I think I'll just have Marcus join me or something..." Nick trailed off, quickly getting out of Kevin's way before walking down the hall to locate one of their loyal security guards.

Howie continued to press though Brian waited impatiently in the elevator. "You were out all night and--"

"I'm fucking hungover, my arm hurts, and my head is throbbing. Drop it, alright?" Kevin snarled, stalking into the penthouse without further complaint.

"No wonder Ana's terrified of him," Howie muttered with a shake of his head as he joined Brian in the elevator.

"She's terrified of him?" Brian questioned in confusion, punching the number for the lobby of the hotel.

"When he's like that, who isn't terrified of him?"

"I've never seen him so..."

"Angry?"

"Yeah... even growing up..."

"Better to just leave vicious sleeping dogs lie," Howie pressed for the main floor, pulling his hat down as far as he could to hide his recognizable curls. Fans were constantly lurking around the hotel, dying to catch a glimpse of them. Any other day, and he would have welcomed it.

"I'll agree with you on that," Brian murmured, fishing in the pocket of his jean jacket for the keys to the rental. Brushing off the need for the supervison of their body guards, he hurriedly slipped into the driver's seat and revved the engine. A few flashes from various cameras exploded in his field of vision, but he said nothing. Concentrating on the road and hurrying Howie into the passenger side of the SUV before driving away.

"I'm sure she's okay, Bri. Maybe her power went out or something," Howie tried to assuage Brian's anxiety as his foot pressed the accelerator nearly to the floor.

"She still would have picked up her cell phone and went to the meeting with her editor--"

"You can't think the worst of the situation--"

"No offense, but this past year has taught me that anything that can happen, will. Ana's so responsible, D. Something is wrong..."

"And it's probably something so minor--"

"Well, we're about to find out," Brian grunted, swerving sharply to cross a lane of traffic so he could easily pull into Ana's driveway. Throwing the shifting gear sharply into park, he didn't even bother stopping the engine before he hurdled himself from the car. Moving up the walkway, he tilted his head in confusion when he noticed the shattered window and the front door hanging ajar. "Howie, call the police--"

"Already calling," Howie replied, who immediately pulled out his cell phone when they pulled into the driveway. He quickly followed Brian and they cautiously walked into Ana's home. "Yes, I'm at a friend's house... I think it was broken into."

"Ana? Ana! Where are you, Baby?" Brian scanned the house looking for any signs of his girlfriend. Shattered pictures lay on the floor, glass sprayed like a fine mist.

There was no response from within the overly quiet home, causing worry to stir in Brian, ready to be set off like an explosion. Some sort of chatter, whether it be a music system of the TV was always on in her home. It was a comfort that Brian found, especially when he hadn't much to say. They just allowed the background noise to speak instead. But, his mind was elsewhere as he moved around the foyer, feeling his body begin to tremble when he noted the smear of blood on the far wall leading into the living room.

"Howie. Blood..." Brian pointed to the wall, his heart pounding fast as he turned the corner. "Ana! Baby! C'mon, answer me, this isn't funny!"

An abnormal sound of a gutteral cry mangled in his throat when he came upon Ana's lifeless body sprawled between the living room and the kitchen. Her body looked awkwardly positioned as her right knee seemed to bend inward at a unnatural angle. Blood matted her thick honey locks and her face seemed grossly swollen and littered with bruises. Dead. She had to be dead.

"Brian, what--" Howie stopped in his tracks as he watched Brian swoop down on Ana's still body. "Oh my God. Operator, we need an ambulance. Our friend was attacked. Hurry! Please!"

Brian's hands trembled furiously when he sank to his knees, knowing that his body was dead weight. He searched for a portion of his lover's body that could be potentially felt, hoping he could offer some support. But every inch of her seemed to be battered. "Ana... Sweetheart... Ana..."

"Brian, the operator wants you to check for a pulse and if she's breathing."

"She's all bruised up--"

"Hover your hand by her mouth and nose," Howie knelt down, the phone still pressed against his ear as he gently pressed two fingers against the side of her neck.

Brian was at a loss when Howie murmured something about feeling a pulse, though it was weak at best. "--And if she's not?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Is she breathing?"

"I..." Brian trailed off at the look on Howie's face as he continued to speak with the 911 operator. Swallowing hard, he raised his hand over Ana's nose and mouth. Tears came to his eyes as he felt her breath softly touch his skin. "Oh thank you Lord... she's breathing..."

"She's breathing," Howie hurriedly repeated to the operator, nodding furiously when the woman began to instruct him further. Sliding his now bloody fingers away from Ana's throat, he glanced about the room to assure that she wasn't in any present danger. Nodding once more, though the woman could not see, he offered a short breath before looking to Brian. "We shouldn't move her. Just watch her breathing and keep checking for a pulse. The medics will be here soon."

"O-Okay," Brian whispered, watching Ana's chest rise and fall ever-so-gently; it almost looked like she wasn't breathing at all. He placed a hand against her forehead and allowed his tears to spill down his cheeks. "If only I hadn't listened and went back to the hotel..."

"Brian," Howie murmured softly after the operator instructed him to stay on the line till the medics arrived. Reaching out, he placed a soft hand on his friend's shoulder, trying to force his body into a calm state. Brian and Ana both needed someone with a level head. Brian needed someone stable to keep him grounded till the medics arrived. Ana just needed someone to help her survive. "You couldn't have predicted this would happen. New York is a rough place and... It's not your fault... She wouldn't want you to believe that..."

"I could have protected her, D. She's strong, but a man can overpower a woman when he wants to," Brian carefully ran his fingers through her matted curls. It scared him to think she might leave him without a good-bye or one last 'I love you'. He just couldn't lose her like that. "I'm so sorry, Baby."

"She's going to be fine," Howie stressed.

"But what if she--"

"You of all people know better than to think like that, Brian."

"I could have stayed. Just to hold her--"

"Nothing could have prevented this. If you were here, you could have been laying broken on the floor right next to her."

"I would have protected her--"

"And likely got yourself killed in the process," Howie murmured, listening to the distant wail of approaching sirens. "Stay with her. I'll go direct the police inside, okay?"

"Okay..." Brian watched Howie jog out of the house and he turned his gaze back to Ana, bending down to kiss a small, unmarred part of her forehead. "I am so sorry I wasn't here. I could have done something. I didn't protect you like I promised."

He would be brain-dead by the end of the day. Kevin was quite certain of that notion when he woke in the morning to find his head feeling as if it were ten sizes too big and throbbing painfully. The persistant, dull ache starting in his temples and moving backward till it flared in his already stiff neck. Gulping down a handful of Tylenol with a large bottle of piss-warm water, he meekly stumbled toward the bathroom in search of a cold shower to lighten the thick haze surrounding him. Little sounds that he made seemed to echo in the deepest recesses of his aching head, magnifying to that of a sonic boom. Definitely, he would be brain-dead by nightfall. Most certainly because he would be the one to jam a sharp object in his ear to deafen the pain.

He stepped out of the shower, finding that the cold water barely touched his hangover as he slipped into a black t-shirt and jeans. Shuffling out of the bathroom, he made his way out to the living room, expecting to find the Boys obnoxious and loud, which was atypical for them when he had a hangover. However, this was not the case as he found AJ and Nick sitting on the couches, their cell phones perched next to the penthouse phone. "What the Hell are you two doing?"

"Nothing," AJ murmured softly, voice void of any emotion. Though he jerked slightly when Nick's elbow worked its way between his ribs. Arching in surprise, he glanced up to see Nick tilting his head in Kevin's direction. Frowning, he watched the man fall into the nearby couch with a heavy groan. "Did you just get a shower?"

"Yes, why?"

"Your cast is fucked up."

Glancing down, Kevin noticed the mangled heap of plaster laying awkwardly over his right arm. Wrinkling his brow in confusion, he struggled to remember when the cast had even been placed. Nothing made sense under the blur of alcohol still pumping in his system. "Fuck..."

"How did you break your hand?"

"I tripped and fell," Kevin muttered, closing his eyes for a moment. Another trip to the hospital, though he didn't remember the first one.

"Hit your face on the way down too? On nails?" Nick guessed quietly, though he shrank back at Kevin's blistering glare. The man was far too roughened to have simply fallen.

"Just leave it alone, Nick. You know better," Kevin nearly growled as he glanced down at his cast again. Apparently, whenever he had gone to the hospital he hadn't requested a water-proof cast.

"Bar fights are never pretty," AJ agreed gently.

"It was a rough night," Kevin ran with the story AJ was freely giving him. "Next time I need to bring Marcus or Q. I'm too old for fist-fights."

"When Howie or Brian call, we can get one of them to drive us to the hospital," AJ suggested, plucking his phone from the table to check for messages once more.

"Why would you two be going to the hospital?"

"Ana got attacked last night," AJ stated simply when Nick's phone alerted to an incoming call. The youngest hurriedly snatched the phone from the table and stumbled to the balcony for some shred of privacy.

"Attacked?" Kevin's face blanked for a moment as a picture flashed through his mind. Breaking down a door with his fist.

"Some asshole broke into her house last night and... I'm not sure of all the details to be honest... Howie just wanted to get Stephanie around and take her to the hospital to wait... But it wasn't good..."

"That's the risk when you live in New York. There are lots of dangerous people out there," Kevin tried to keep his voice even as more images flashed quickly, causing his head to ache more as Nick came back from the balcony.

"ER Doc came out and said they took her to surgery," Nick murmured, collapsing back onto the couch. "Howie said we could come any time we wanted. Brian's not taking it too well..."

"I didn't think he would," AJ sighed, running a hand through his locks as he glanced to Kevin. "You coming with us? A doctor could re-do your cast while we wait."

"Did she say who did it?" Kevin murmured after a long pause of dead silence. Holding a hand to his throbbing forehead, he winced at the reverberation of a wooden bat connecting with bone. Her agonized screams piercing the very center of the soul till he shuddered in disbelief. Had he truly been the attacker?

"She was unconscious when Howie and Bri found her; the paramedics couldn't wake her up. They suspected she had gone into shock."

"Sure she didn't just get a quick knock to the head?"

"Howie said her knee was bent inward. Like someone took a bat and just smashed it. Bruises, cuts... her head was slammed into the floor," Nick swallowed hard, trying not to image the scene his two friends had stumbled upon.

"Maybe she deserved it," Kevin muttered after a moment.

"No one deserves to be beaten within an inch of their life, asshole," AJ snapped, standing up and stuffing his phone into his pocket. "C'mon, Nick, let's go."

"Is he coming?" Nick questioned in confusion, allowing AJ to tug him along.

"He can find his own fucking way to a hospital."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"It's been too long... they should have come out by now... What if... Oh, Ana..." Stephanie trailed off, muttering to herself as she paced the private waiting room they were assigned once Ana was brought into surgery. She couldn't seem to sit still, and if she did, her emotions would just turn her into the blubbering idiot she was earlier when Howie first picked her up. She had to be strong for her best friend.

"Steph, Sweetheart, why don't you come sit down," Howie directed softly, hoping to break her from the trance of her pace. Seeing that she continued, he moved to stand and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Having sent Brian out to change from his bloody clothes into a pair of scrubs one of the nurses had retrieved, he found himself now having to deal with Stephanie's emotional state. The police had been so blase about the entire proceedure. Cold and calculating as they moved through the home.

"I can't sit down. I'll start... no," Stephanie shook her head as Howie began to gently lead her to the chairs. "I can't be falling apart when Ana needs me."

"She would want you to take care of yourself first," Howie gently reminded, helping her onto the couch. "Just rest."

"Why did this happen to her, Howie? She never hurt anyone in her life," Stephanie whispered in dismay, brushing away tears that already fell from her eyes at the mere thought of Ana being hurt.

"I can't tell you the answer to that," Howie stated honestly, reaching for the box of tissues a nurse had brought to them.

"I will find the bastard and kill him."

"No, you will not."

"Howie--"

"What is killing him going to do? It's not going to take back what he did to Ana, and I don't think she would want you killing anyone."

Stephanie wanted to object, but found no words coming from her lips when Brian stepped back into the waiting room. He looked quite ashen as he shuffled to the couches and gently lowered himself into the empty seat. Clasping his hands at his knees, his head bowed once more. It looked as if he were in prayer as silent tears slipped from his closed eyes, dampening the blue material of the hospital-issued scrubs. She wanted to provide the man some words of comfort, but a raspy voice caught her first, "Hey, B, great outfit. You planning on nursing Ana to health? Bet she'd like you to play her doctor, right?"

"Such a way with words," Howie groaned as all looked up to see the youngest members join the room. "Tact was never J's forte..."

"I wish this didn't happen to the girl, but she's a fighter. She'll be just fine, especially with Rok taking care of her," AJ sat down next to Brian and placed a hand on the older man's shoulder. "You know she's strong, man."

"She wrestled my ass to the ground for the controller to my Playstation when I refused to let her beat the boss in my Resident Evil game," Nick volunteered with a forced smile as he reached to gingerly shake his friend's shoulders as if that would rouse Brian's confidence.

"Aaron can wrestle your ass to the ground and he's half your size," AJ snorted with a roll of his eyes. "But your point is well made."

"I'm just saying... Once she comes out of surgery and all... It's just a few broken bones, right? I mean, the asshole didn't..." Nick didn't know how to phrase the question appropriately as he glanced to AJ for a moment. "Y'know... Hurt her... Woman-parts?"

"She wasn't sexually assaulted," Brian whispered, using the collar of his scrub shirt to wipe away his tears. "He smashed her knee with a bat she kept around for protection and basically beat her up. He also slammed her head into the floor..."

"So she'll just be on crutches for a few weeks?" Nick guessed with relief.

"It's more than that, Nick," Howie chided, though he had no desire to detail how significant the damage to her body had been. How blood had actually spattered the walls from the repeated blows.

"What do you mean? He beat her up... like how guys would beat each other up in a high school fight. Right?"

"She barely had a pulse and wasn't breathing too well," Brian remembered. His voice barely rose above a whisper as he remembered the way the paramedics had rushed inside. "Something about how the ribs in her chest were broken caused her to breathe unevenly. They called it a flail chest... There were cuts to the back of her head from it being slammed into glass... She could be brain-dead for all I know..."

"Don't think like that," Howie immediately scorned, feeling Stephanie shiver.

"I heard the paramedics muttering. They said she could be--"

"And thinking like that is not going to help Ana, is it?"

"And me thinking positive is?"

"It certainly wouldn't hurt. What happened to faith and praying? You used to believe that helped more than medicine."

"But she's just so..."

"It was pretty bleak for you when you had that infection as a child. But what did your family do? They didn't give up. They prayed. You're with us today because of their prayers, and their faith in God."

"I just want to know that she's okay--"

"Family and friends of Anastacia Lord?" A voice called into the room, startling the huddled group as they looked up to see a tall woman walk in. She adorned pale purple scrubs under her white lab coat with a purple clipboard grasped in her hand. Long black locks were pulled into a low ponytail.

"That's us," Brian blurted hurriedly, practically falling from his chair as he attempted to reach the woman.

"Be careful, sir. I don't think Anastacia would want to wake up and see her boyfriend in a hospital bed next to her with his own injuries," the woman chuckled as Brian reached her and they shook hands.

"So she's going to wake up?" Brian breathed with relief. "Be okay?"

"After a few months of rest and physical therapy, yes. She will be okay."

"What were all her injuries?" Howie questioned as Stephanie slumped against him in relief.

"I suppose it might be easier to go through what wasn't injured," the surgeon answered honestly, glancing over the young woman's chart. "Thankfully, we found no evidence of sexual assault. But she did suffer a severe concussion from the way her head was struck upon the floor. We'll give her some steroids through an IV and diuretics to keep the swelling down. Several ribs were broken from blunt force trauma, which resulted in a puncture to her right lung. We had to reinflate the lung by inserting a chest tube into the space between the lung and the sac surrounding the lung. Then there was reconstructive surgery done to her knee. The knee cap had been split in half and the femur broken near the joint."

"That sounds absolutely vicious," AJ muttered in disbelief, feeling himself shudder as he listened to the list of Ana's injuries.

"Whoever did this didn't stop until she was almost unconscious."

"Did she say who?" Stephanie murmured softly, hoping that the assailant could be brought to justice.

"She's been unconscious since coming into my hands, Ma'am... Perhaps when she wakes and speaks to the police you'll know more?"

"When can we see her?" Brian found his voice again.

"As soon as she starts coming out of the anasthesia, I will come and show you her room. Alright?"

"Thank you, Doctor...--"

"Anderson. No need to thank me, I'm just doing my job," Dr. Anderson smiled before leaving the room.