As she opened the door to the music room, she could hear the laughter of her band mates, the laughter of her friend behind her about a joke, and she could hear herself laugh.

But it wasn’t meant to be a laugh.

It was more of a gasp for breath, something she would do to try to let out the emotions that continued to crumble her self-esteem.

She smiled at her friend as she tried to explain something to her, but she didn’t listen to her, her thoughts were drifting in another world; a darker world where she felt permanently enclosed in.

As she held her instrument and began playing the solemn tune of their piece, she finally felt the music ease her tension within. She felt safe, but the taunting thoughts inside her head still remained.

“I hate myself. People don’t like me, I hate myself.” She thought to herself impulsively.

She didn’t know why she was thinking that way, she thought it was normal, but she didn’t feel normal, she felt like an outcast.

~ ~ ~

As their band session ended, she collected her belongings and quickly tried to leave unnoticed.

But she was stopped by a friend.

“You need some help with your stuff? Are you okay?” her friend asked.

“Shut up.” She replied.

She quickly run down the hallway to her locker as little drops of tears streamed down her eyes unnoticeably. She opened her locker and hastily pulled out her coat and bag. She put on her coat hurriedly and strapped her bag before leaving the building.

As she left the building, she saw her mother’s car parked by the driveway. She immediately entered the car and closed her door.

“How was your day, Hope?” her mother asked her daughter as she turned on the ignition.

“Fine.” She tried to fake a smile.

She was relieved to be out of school, at last.

~ ~ ~

As she entered her room and locked the door, she immediately threw herself in bed, facedown on her fluffy pillow. She wept her heart out.

“Why am I always being left out? Is there something wrong with me?” she thought to herself as she sobbed.

For some reason, she had a negative view of herself. She felt like she didn’t want to go back to school.

As her anxiety attack finally set in, she then whispered a choked plea to the air, to anyone who would hear her, “Help me.”

“Stop it! I could puke over your wonderful creation if you continue to instigate our laughing attacks!” Hope fell backwards on her chair, laughing.

“Hey, it’s not wonderful look at those scratch lines.” Natalia pointed to a few scratches that looked like were made by a cat on her perfectly-made chair.

“It’s awesome, you know. I wouldn’t be able to make something as perfect as yours.” Hope pulled herself closer to Natalia in order to prove her point.

It was true.

The chair Natalia made for Genesis High’s Annual Chair-Making Contest was close to perfect.

The chair was made of mahogany wood, polished carefully in order to create a dazzling shine. Its bamboo cushions were comfy, carefully woven with a strong and soft nylon. The chair was carved with two doves facing each other with a diamond in the middle, and several carved flowers complimented the carving.

“You better believe me, you WILL win first place with this wonderful creation of yours.” Hope traced the carvings on the chair with her fingers.

“Yeah, yeah, you can say that, but I bet there are handmade chairs out there that are way better than mine.” Natalia replied stubbornly.

“Don’t say that Natalia! You’re artistic skills are unbelievable…”

“Hope,”

Hope looked up to see Mrs. Davidson.

She had on one of her favorite dresses, a pink flower dress with ruffles over the bottom.

“You’re dad’s here to pick you up.” Mrs. Davidson looked directly at Hope, her sharp, blue eyes piercing into her very skull.

“Um, yeah, tell my dad I’ll be there in a moment.” Hope hastily gathered her belongings and placed them inside her knapsack.

She’s always been intimidated by Mrs. Davidson.

She’s always been intimidated by everyone, except Natalia, ever since her family came to Capestown, Canada from Vietnam.

She went to an international school in Vietnam, so she could speak flawless English.

It was just the people.

In a secluded city such as Capestown, discrimination is noticeably evident.

People here judge you not by your skills, but by your color.

Everyday, every time she left the safety of her house, she was almost, always under the scrutiny of people.

People who survey her dark skin and black wavy hair. People who don’t know who she really is, except for Natalia Davidson.

She met Natalia on her first day of school.

Natalia Davidson was assigned to be her peer partner for one month a year ago, until Hope would feel comfortable in the school. Hope was grade 10 at that time. Natalia was grade 11.

Now, Natalia was about to graduate from high school--- just six months left till she walks along those red over-perfumed carpets to receive her diploma--- while Hope still had a well year and a half to go.

Hope began to worry who would become her friend when Natalia left her to go to a post secondary institution--- and brought her pride with her.

As she made her way too the front of the Davidson home, she could feel the sting of Mrs. Davidson’s blue eyes behind her back.

She was intimidating alright.

“Hi Hope, how you?” she heard her father greet her.

“Bye.” Mrs. Davidson called out.

On her face was plastered a fake smile, that smile she would have when she saw Asians that couldn’t speak perfect English. The smile she would have when she caught sight of anything she could discriminate.

Discrimination.

It was a word that was completely evident in Capestown, and Hope felt helpless because she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

As Hope fastened her seatbelt reluctantly, she couldn’t help feeling very sorry for herself.

She felt sorry because she only had one friend in Capestown.

She felt sorry for her father because he didn’t know how to speak perfect English.

She felt sorry for herself because she saw no purpose in her life--- she just saw a long line of endless struggles, which she believed would always be that way.