“Please fasten your seat belts. We will be landing in Los Angeles, California in a few minutes,” the flight attendant called over the loud speaker.

I fastened my seat belt and leaned back into my seat. Los Angeles, California I sighed. I hadn’t been back here in three years.

I wasn’t even sure what influenced me to come back now. I smiled. I knew exactly why I had come back.

My best friend Jessica was getting married to her high school sweet heart, finally, and I had promised her I’d be her maid of honor. Even though I knew all of the memories I had tied up in this place, but I couldn’t let her down.

The plane landed, and I unhooked my seat belt. I grabbed my carry–on bag and moved with the flow of the other passengers.

I brushed my fingers through my hair as I walked through the terminal. I was nervous. So much had happened in this one city.

I stepped out into the airport and headed for the baggage claim. I found the one for my plane and picked up the rest of my bags.

As I made my way through the airport a luggage cart came crashing right into me…knocking to the ground.

“Excuse me,” I said with anger, as I struggled to untangle myself from my bags.

“I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t see you there,” a high-pitched voice apologized. I froze as I felt a hot rush through my body. I knew that voice from anywhere.

I looked up into a pair of very familiar blue eyes. Every feeling I had ever had tied to this man came flooding back to me.

“Nick?” I breathed as he stuck his hand to help me up.

“Telly!” he shrieked, and a smile broke across his face. He set his bags down and pulled me into a hug.

I breathed in his scent, after five years, this man could still make me go weak in the knees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ma’am I’m telling you we do not have those sheets in red.” I grinned at the customer actually wanting to slap her with the towel I was holding. I continued to fold the towels in color coordination.

It was only my second week at Target, but I was getting the job done. After my dad had his stroke and his paychecks were cut back, I had to find a job to pay for the rest of my college tuition.

It was just by luck that I had this job.

I heard a loud crash from the next isle “Oh god what mess do I have to clean up now.” I thought to myself as I reached the isle I saw a blonde guy bending over picking up all the shower bars and other small gadgets that were scattered on the floor..

He stood up and apologized as he slicked his blonde hair back. I bent down to help him and we bumped heads he looked up, his beautiful blue eyes mesmerized me.

“Ah man I’m really sorry” he whispered apologetic.

“Oh…it’s okay…it happens all the time,” I smiled.

In the midst of picking up, he stuck out his hand “Nick Carter”

“Emma…Emma Reyes” I shook his outstretched hand.

“Hey Emma someone needs help with the children’s comforters.” Another employee requested from behind, making us both leap up.

As soon as we finished cleaning, I headed for the other isle he stayed looking for what he needed before his accident. He was probably 6’2 with long blonde hair he was wearing a white T-shirt and jeans.

He was gorgeous.

I helped the impatient lady and headed back to folding my towels and then my dark brown eyes fixed on his blue eyes again. “Thank you for helping me clean up my mess”

I shrugged “It was no trouble” He then checked his watch “Oops! I gotta go, or I’ll be late. What time do you get off work? I’ll buy you dinner”

I smiled. It had been too long since I had gone on a date “I get off at eight. Will you be free then?”

“I think I should be. I have an audition, but I should be free after that. Don‘t be afraid but I‘m…what you call a starving musician…something like that. But I‘m not starving…not yet anyway”

I giggled, he had a humor “Well then I will see you here at eight” I smiled and watched him walk away.

We pulled away from the hug, barely aware that people were jostling us back and forth. Nick grabbed his bag and grinned. “I guess we’d better move.”

I grabbed my bag and followed him out where there were a bunch of seats. I looked for Jessica, but I didn’t see her anywhere, deep down I didn’t want to see her at this moment.

“So how long has it been? Three years? You haven’t changed a bit,” he complimented me his voice was so assuring and easing.

“Neither have you…” I nudged him playfully, he smiled as I brushed my hand over his hair “Well except you cut your hair” I commented.

Nick smiled “Yeah, it was starting to drive me crazy. Plus Brian…remember Brian, don’t you? He was starting to call me Hanson.”

“Oh yeah” I giggled, “I remember the first time I met with all your friends” we stood there in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Florida was much sunnier than it was in California and everyone there was half naked…I felt so over dressed. I stared out the window at the white house that loomed ahead of us and tried desperately to calm my nerves.

Nick somehow sensed my nervousness and took my hand in his “You’ll be fine…they will love you…” he smiled.

Nick and I had been dating for seven months, and this was the first time I would be meeting his friends. Of course he had promised to meet mine the following weekend.

“Now don‘t be startled by all the people in the house, they are mostly friends, our families are to busy and have things of their own to do. We always get in trouble when we spend time out here…everything has changed when Brian and I got home studies…yeah…” he sighed.

His rambling calmed me a little as we parked in the driveway. We got out of the car and walked up to the door as someone opened it, we were greeted by everyone in chorus.

“Yo man I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show.” Brian enveloped him in a hug.

I looked around a bunch of eyes looking at us “Hey guys this is my girlfriend Emma Reyes. This is everyone…Brian, Kevin, AJ and Howie” he went on with the names of the rest of the people in the room, which I wouldn’t remember by the end of the night.

They all hugged me and made me feel at home especially Brian his best friend “Come Emma…don’t be shy”

We walked into the dinning room and sat down in the two chairs designated for us. We bowed our heads and Kevin said grace. Then, everyone moved for the food.

“So do I hear wedding bells Nick?” Kevin asked, Nick blushed “Well according to me it can be…” he turned to look at me.

I also blushed “At some point…but I don’t think we are ready right…now.” He leaned in to kiss me as everyone oohed and aahed.

“Emma did you hear me?” Nick’s voice pulled me back to the present. I was no longer in the guys house, but back in LA Airport.

I smiled “I’m sorry, I was daydreaming. Maybe we should wait outside” I began to walk as he followed me outside.
Nick laughed. “You always did that. I asked you what you’ve been up to the past three years.”

“Oh, well, I’m a writer for People Magazine.”

He wrinkled his brow. “You are? How come we never crossed paths before?”

“Because I usually don’t get the stories dealing with you guys. I did help pick you for sexiest pop stars under 25, but I was on vacation when they did your photo shoot”

He blushed “Oh, you did, huh? Well thanks for the support”

“Yeah it’s a nice picture,” I continued “You know, I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I’ve even heard the new CD. ‘Incomplete’ it’s my favorite” I suppose a selfish part of me thought that song was about me, and I was hoping he would confirm it.

He just grinned “Well, thank you. I’m rather proud of that song.”

“You know, I still remember when you got the call to be a Backstreet Boy.”

“Oh you do huh?”

I shook my head “Yeah, how could I forget” we both laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pushed the key into the knob, turned it, and swung the door open. I stumbled into my apartment and closed the door behind me.

It had been a long day at school, and I was ready for a nice hot bath.

“Emma? Is that you?” Nick called from the living room

“Nick? What are you doing here?” I followed his voice into the living room to find him sitting on my couch. His face was beaming.

He jumped up when I walked in, took me into his arms and lifted me off the ground.

“I used the key you gave me. I couldn’t wait to tell you my wonderful news,” he said.

“Nick, what happened?”

He set me down on the floor and looked me dead in the eyes. “We made it! Do you remember that audition the boys and I went to?”

I nodded “Well, I’m in. We start rehearsals tomorrow” I had never heard Nick talk so fast in the time I had been with him.

“Wait a minute. What? Is this like a real group? A band”

He nodded vigorously, his shaggy blonde hair falling in his face. “Uh huh. We are gonna make demos, then find a Record company, and everything. I’m finally in show business.”

I hugged him, my excitement for him overwhelming. “Nick, this is wonderful! We have to go celebrate,” I said.

“I know. I’ll go home and change, and you get dressed up, too. I’m taking you to one of the fanciest restaurants in Hollywood.”

He picked me up once again and this time spun me around. Nothing could bring him down from his cloud…

“You know, I got dizzy from that day,” I joked.

“Sorry about that,” Nick apologized. He stretched out in his chair and looked at his watch. He then looked back at the crowd “I wonder where they are?” he mumbled.

“Who? The people who are suppose to pick you up?” I curiously inquired while I checked my own watch “It’s 2:15. Jessica was supposed to have been here fifteen minutes ago.”

“I know. I don’t like to be here to long. I‘m afraid of being mobbed.” Nick turned his attention back to me “You know, we had some great times together.”

“Yeah it was fun while it lasted. Wasn’t it?” I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. I was just hoping that he wouldn’t bring up the subject I was dreading.

“Emma” I looked up to meet his blue eyes. His look was serious “Why didn’t we stay together?”

I knew that he was going to ask that question. I had never given him a straight answer. I still didn’t know why it had ended myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t do this anymore Nick!” I screamed as I stormed into his dressing room. Nick ran in after me and closed the door behind him.

“Do what? I don’t understand what you’re saying, Emma,” he said as he walked around to face me.

“This!” I answered, throwing my hands into the air. “I have to wait for you backstage so no one can see me…not to mention that you’re always gone, you’re always surrounded by girls, there are always rumors and not to mention that no one is allowed to know about me! I’m always your cousin or someone else that I’m not.”

“I’m sure that we can work this out…” Nick began

I sighed and calmed down a little. I couldn’t take all of this frustration out on him. It wasn’t his fault…not directly. I looked down and collected my thoughts.

How do you do this? How do you tell someone whom you’re deeply in love with that you can’t be with them anymore? I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to give Nick up, but I just couldn’t take the fame that came with him. And I wasn’t about to ask him to abandon his dream.

I looked up and met his eyes. “I think it’s time for one of us to say goodbye.” Well, that was hasty, wasn’t it?

The hurt showed in his blue eyes. “What? No. I’ll talk to Lou. I’ll leave the group.”

“No! You can’t do that. If you do, then you’ll end up resenting your decision and me for the rest of your life. Nick, you need someone who is strong enough to handle this. Someone who can accept it. Cause I can‘t”

“Emma, please”

I walked over to the sofa and grabbed my pocketbook. I then turned to look at him. “I’ll take a cab back to the hotel and get my stuff. I’ll probably be gone when you get back.”

I was trying my hardest to fight back the tears. If I didn’t leave then, I wasn’t sure if I would have the strength to do it later. I kissed him on the cheek and walked to the door.

“Was it something I said? Something I did?”

I stared at the door “No Nick. You’ve been wonderful to me. I just think that I have to let you go.”

“Emma”

“I’m sorry. Nick.” Tears were now streaming down my face, and I couldn’t look back at him. I opened door and walked out, never looking back once.

I stood staring into those same blue eyes I had not seen in three years. “Nick, I told you why I left”

“All you ever told me was you couldn’t handle the fame.”

I placed my hand on his shoulders “It was the fame; it was never you” I felt the lump in my throat begin to grow, that memory still saddened me. But if I hadn’t left him then, eventually he would of left me. And that I wouldn’t have been able to deal with!

Nick looked down at me and smiled. “Well, there’s no use dwelling on the past, is there?” he asked

I shook my head. “No, but we still have the present.” I wasn’t sure what I had meant by that, but I had said it anyway. Nick continued to smile, but he didn’t answer.

“Nick!” a female voice called from behind me. I turned around to see a short woman with long, dark hair and a big belly walking towards us. A big smile was spread across her beautiful face.

“Michelle!” Nick answered. I looked at him and saw his face light up like a Christmas tree. He obviously knew this woman.

When Michelle reached us he pulled her into a hug and gave her a passionate kiss. I looked down at the floor, embarrassed to be watching the scene.

Finally, the couple broke from their embrace, and Nick looked at me. “Where are my manners? Michelle, this is Emma Reyes. Emma, this is Michelle Carter, my wife”

My stomach sank to the floor. Wife? He was married? I quickly glanced at his left hand, and, sure enough, there sat the gold band glittering on his third finger.

I regained my composure, looked up, and forced a smile. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said as I offered my hand.

Michelle cautiously took it as she returned the smile. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

She moved a little closer to Nick “If you don’t mind my asking, how do you know each other?”

He started to answer “Well, we go way…” but I cut him off. “I’m a writer for People Magazine, I wrote an article about the boys a while back…”

Nick gave me a reassuring look as Michelle seemed to relax a little, she giggled, “Oh, what a small world.”

“Yeah it sure is” I grabbed all the energy in my body and asked her “How far along are you…?” I just wanted to change the subject.

She giggled as she rubbed her stomach “I’m nine months…we are just waiting now…that is why Nick is back. To be here when his son is born.”

I glanced at him as he glanced at her with such love, that love that he had for me once.

Nick put his arm around her shoulders. “Well, honey, I think we’d better go. It’s been three months since I’ve been home.” Nick faced me “It was really nice seeing you again.”

I shook my head “Yeah, it was really nice seeing you too”

“Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” he smiled widely.

“I don’t thinks so…but maybe”

He gave me a small hug, then the couple turned and walked away. Just then, someone called my name. I turned around to see Jessica coming towards me.

“Emma, you made it! How was your flight?” she asked really excited as she embraced me.

I was still in shock “It was good” I answered absentmindedly watching Nick and Michelle.

Jessica followed my gaze “Who was that?”

I smiled “Nick…Nick Carter…”

“Oh…the Nick…no way. What is he up to now?” we both gazed at the couple as they began to disappear.

“Well he is married…and they are expecting…” I felt like a big loser. She patted me on the back.

“Well girl maybe you’ll meet someone at my wedding…come on we have lot’s to do” Jessica picked up one of my bags and started talking a mile a minute about her fiancé and the wedding. I only halfway listened. My eyes and my heart were still focused on Nick.

I was glad that he had found someone who could handle his fame. I was happy for him, really I just wished it was…me. I sighed as I watched the empty doorway; they had disappeared into the crowd.

I still need you…I still care about you…though everything's been said and done…I still feel you like I'm right beside you…