Late 2003 Nick went back home after a long tour around the US, it was perfect time for him to gather the pieces of his life, there she was still as beauty as he ever seen her.
Her name was Jamie, she was just the girl next door, the girl he wondered if he can ask her on a first date, but then he got into the busy life of the backstreet boys, solo album and helping some friends here and there made it just another dream.

He wasn't getting any younger yet time stopped at his 17th birthday party when she came and gave him that black leather hand made braided strap with the a little cross hanging from it at the front side "In Lord thee trust" was engraved and on the back of it was "May all the angels save you for me"
It was a moment he knew she shared his feelings but then he feared that she might have this hotshot fan affection for him.
He decided to be a friend thinking she would reveal her true self in time, in time he discovered she was true to him as a nick carter the guy next door not the BsB guy.
But it was hard on him to tell her the truth or be with her for long time, first because of his on of relation ship with many girls.
And then because he didn't see her a lot in the past couple of years to be sure if she still carry those feelings for him.

********************

He stepped of the cab, looking around him smelling the scent of his home, long time since he saw his family and stayed with them and he wondered if Jamie was still next door.
He picked his bag and took a little walk toward the door, "Hello there BJ, Lez. Angie. Where the Hell are you all?" he looked the foyer. Strangely empty and silent.
"Didn't anyone told them I am coming today?" he thought to himself then as he headed to the kitchen to grab a drink a note was on the fridge.

"Hey Nicky,
Glad You Are Home Bro…
We Are At the Martins Place,
Jamie Is Having a Nice Party,
Have Some Rest & Follow Us,
Missed Ya
Angel."

Nick looked at the note and smiled, she still lives next door good. He went to his old room. Still the same and he could've bet that the necklace is still in the drawer were he kept it for all those years.
He changed into jeans and a black T-shirt with a fiery dragon on it. And never forgot to but the leather strap on his wrist for a completion.
As he entered the garden his eyes were looking for someone he would know, his eyes found both his sisters and Jamie standing to the pool, she, as always caught his eyes, wearing a simple flowered sundress, she saw him and smiled mouthing "hi" to him
He smiled back to her and headed to them
"Hi there to you" he said to her
"Long time Mister Nick… how was your tour?" she replied
He smiled a little "fine though I expected more but fine."
Some how what ever silly fool meaningless words they shared, made them lose the track of time.
As they were sitting by the pool Nick finally decided to confess her his feelings, at first she looked at him, he could see her eyes wanting to ask him what took him so long, but was he sure of what he was doing only God knew about it.
"Jamie I want to ask you about something and hope you don't mind me. But I …" he raised his hand to comb his hair, that's when she saw the cross hanging out from his hand.
"Oh my god! You still have it?" she looked at him in surprise.
"Yeah actually it is the first time I wear it… I kept it a side because I wanted to …. I wanted to be sure once I had it that the words I am about to say were in the right place and time Jamie… can you tell me why? "
She looked at him and smiled "Well.. Why ? that is a strange question! I always prayed for god to keep you safe ever since you moved in nick I was trying to let you see me and make you understand what I felt but then .. I never was even close to all the girls you had around gosh I gave you this as an omen to keep all the girls away from you and bring you back to me, beat me I was only 15 and you were 17 I had a major crush on the guy next door!"
The feeling inside him was urging him to speak up to save the moment, to finally tell her he had the same feeling to her.

"Hey JAY…" their moment was cut of by the strange male voice.

Jamie looked across the pool and smiled, Jamie looked at Nick "Com'on Nick I want to introduce you to someone. "
Jamie took nick's hand and walked to the guy, "Nick this is my friend and partner Tiger, Ti. This is Nick, he is one of my favorite neighbors ever." Jamie introduced them to each other.
Somehow nick wasn't sure about the whole situation he found himself in, who was this tiger and what is he to Jamie.
Something beating hard and the feeling was not easy in his soul.

He had doubts about it before but they weren't as true as this one. He pretended that he wanted to find Angel, and left both Tiger and Jamie alone.

Instead of looking for his sisters, he found himself walking towards their house.
It was not expected at all though he was told about it once; he was in a plane with the boys and he was not in the mood for flying. AJ started talking to him, and on the way, he was telling him all about this cute girl that lives next door, back then he took her for granted and now he knew that he should not have been that late.

He dropped his weight on the couch and felt so blue, why was the world standing all against him? first his album wasn't that big due to Justin Timberlake justified and his tour had this bad management, his parents are getting a divorce and now the only girl he was hoping to find the same, is actually with a guy called TIGER.

It didn't take him that long to fall asleep on the couch, even in his dreams she was there along with all his nightmares, touring faults bad album breaking up from the boys and Tiger laughing back at him.

He heard voices around him, he didn't want to wake up but he heard all the words.
"See I told you he must have came home Jamie, gosh he looks darn tired" it was BJ's voice
"He does look so, I was getting worried about him, I thought that once he saw Tiger he could get Mad" Jamie was talking now
"Nick getting mad of Tiger, com'on every one knows that Tiger is the last person to care about girls, he has his mind on something else if you get me, plus wouldn't it be weird to date your young fostered brother?" B.J. was asking.
"Yeah it would be, plus I can't fall for anyone but him, you know how much I still love him."
"Sure you do " answered B.J then completed "We should go now you don't want him to be awake"
As the girls left the room, he found himself opening his eyes, staring at the ceiling fully awake she is in love with him and Tiger is just the brother. How relieved he was.

What left of that summer went fast, the days that Nick spent around Jamie seemed to be endless, he felt that he was gathering all those lost moment he should have been with her, and she was willing to take all the swinging moods he had, all the time.
The only thing he never was capable to understand was Mr. Henry Martin, her father.
Henry Martin used every possible way to show Nick how unwelcome he was. He gave both nick and Jamie hard times when ever they went out, regardless the fact that
Jamie was about 20 it was strange to him.

Nick knew some thing was wrong, that was when he decided to tell Jamie about his feeling.
He had this crazy intuition about it, he remembered when he was about to kiss her, the very first time, she flinched, it was something strange and he knew deep inside that what ever made Jamie scared, it was either from him or from Ms. Martin, and he know that he had to help her getting through it.

*******************
Jamie lived with her parents, first it was for saving every dime she can use on her education , she needed to finish a good school and she wanted to keep focusing on studying , she had enough distraction from loving nick , she didn't want anything more to come along.

Both the Martins never looked like her, none of her parents, the only thing she shared with her mom was the blood type, that is all, and her assumingly dad was even worst and harder on her, she had to think about it a lot before she started suspecting that she's not their daughter!
*******************

The only thing that meant the world to her in this family was Timothy (aka Tiger) she had to keep it all in side because Tiger needed all her support, she promised him after he finishes his High school she would leave with him and never look back.

Tiger wanted to make sure that their road was easy on both of them so secretly he told his coach about how much he needed to have a sport scholarship, he worked double the average student in both his academic and athlete chances, he wasn't going to blow any chance on going to a good school with his sister.

After all she already gave up couple of years from her own life telling the world she needed time away from school while really she was waiting, protecting and helping him.

******************

"For god's sake Tiger what are you doing in my room at 5 A.m.? If dad saw you here he'd kick your a** and you know it!" Jamie looked at her brother as he waked her up 5 A.m. in the morning.
"Jay Jay, I have something to tell you, but you came late yesterday I couldn't tell you about it while he was around, coach Rogers told me that I got 2 offers for M.I.T. and UCLA, on the other hand Ms. Browning told me if I want she can talk about me to her friend in Harvard. I know it is crazy 3universities are fighting to have me but I don't want to go anywhere without you and you know it! "

Jamie looked at Ttiger, his eyes shone with hope on a way she missed for so long,
Then worry swapped her if her father knew all about it , he'll never allow it to happened


Finally she was going out with nick and the guys she felt like heaven, she knew Nick but she never had the chance to meet the guys face to face.

It was supposed to be on the same Saturday Tiger had his important match in the school league. She was planning on taking Nick to the game then going out clubbing with him.

As she went down the stairs she was surprised to see tiger facing her father.
"Dad I have to go the match! Coach Rogers depends on me, our team would lose our chance to go to the states final DAD!" tiger was argueing his Dad.
"You have to make a choice either you going to the match or your sister Bitching around."

A SHOCKING FEELING IS ALL WHAT SHE FELT

"I told you Timothy either you Or Jamie out tonight, you have to pick!"
"But Dad it is an important game for our team, coach Rogers won't understand it, the whole school depends on me…"

She only saw her father poking tiger on the shoulder, she didn't want him to get mad from their father it would be the worst scenarios
"And don't you think I would feel proud once your sister went on bitching around that Carter"

It was the last thing she ever thought her own father would have said
It was then Tiger saw her standing, listening to their conversation.

****************

Tiger ran after his sister
"Jamie you know he didn't mean it!"
"Tiger, he meant every word he said don't worry go to your game, please go and get the scholarship you need it I'll call Nick and tell him"

*****************

"Nick I can't come feeling little sick don't worry I'll be ok have fun"

Nick read the text message he got form Jamie and wondered about it, just this afternoon she was extra fine but now she is not ok, he should check on her later.

******************

Jamie watched the clock turning into 10pm she wished to be with Nick partying and having fun but she is stuck in her room, she didn't want to see her father that night,

She freaked out as she heard knocking on her window, she went and opened it

"OH MY GOD NICK… What are you doing here?" she whispered.
"I knew you were not sick, it didn't make sense to me, and when I talked to your father he told me you went with Tiger to his match, but it didn't make sense, then I saw your light's on so here I am."

"Oh Nick…" Jamie was speechless she gave nick a big hug then as he entered the room she knew she had to explain everything to him eventually.

*********************

"I am going to do it, I told coach Roger's about everything "
Tiger told her later as he came back from his winning match, she looked at him
"What did you tell him Tiger!?"
"I told him how our supposed father abuses both of us, verbally emotionally and physically. Jamie don’t tell me he doesn't do that, he does, I saw him hitting you couple of times, not only for you but also he did it to me too; Coach Rogers told me that there is a way for me and you to get out of here. I know you can leave, but you keep waiting from me, I have 6 weeks before my 18th birthday and there is some legal action the coach will help me doing and I'll leave this place as soon as possible"

"Yo Nick guess who's here..."
A.J.'s voice echoed through the living room.

Some how Nick managed to rush out to meet his friend, then Jamie followed him, she was little surprised by the visit, as a matter of a fact both of them were Relaxing on the couch - snuggling in each other's sweet embrace.

Jamie needed that; meeting A.J was something that would happened so blissfully for her, for the first time, she didn’t want any one to disturb the peace she had within Nick's arms.

**********************

A.J looked at the girl standing behind Nick then smiled, "so let me guess, this is the same girl living next door right Jessie or something like that"
Jamie smiled to the notion that A.j knows about her, so she smiled back correction him "Jamie, Jamie Martins."
"Well hi Jamie Martins, Great to meet you finally, Nick spent 3 years talking about the girl next door, no wonder he has a crush on you , you look … wow girl." Said A.J in a tune that made her smile.
It was nice to find someone who wouldn't be judgmental over her feeling to Nick and even love the kind of relationship she shared with Nick

It didn't take A.J long before he grabbed her into a hug saying "You thought b'cuz you are his Girlfriend I wont hit on you at least with a hug ! Welcome to our life girl"
He said and she didn't know what to say for a second but it was all fine for her she felt right and great.

***********************

Jamie was trying her best to forget all the insults her father said but deep in her heart she was hurt, it didn't take her that much to try her forgetting, it was her 20 birthday and Nick decided to throw her a big party to celebrate it in a style, he wanted to prepare a surprise party.
He did his best on keeping her busy with all kind of activities so she wouldn't notice the preparation he was doing, and the only helping hands he had were A.J's hand.

AJ's job was mainly to make her busy as much as he could; he started hanging out with her; shopping together, going on to little places to have coffee or some donates, somehow AJ found himself attracted to this lady, to his friends girlfriend, and that didn't make it any easier on him.

He wanted many times to tell Nick that he can't go on with Jamie, but as soon as he hear her voice and see her smile, he would find himself willingly dragging his heals to go on with her. He wasn't sure why, maybe it was because he just ended this semi great fantastic relationship that he had with Kathy or was it because of the hidden beauty Jamie held behind her sad warm green eyes, he felt like being home all the way, she was getting him found of her so easily and hardly in the same time.

Nick called every single one to go on partying with them, he booked the best catering, best DJ's the best floweriest and even ordered the most perfect cake he could imagine.

He hoped that Jamie love it, he wanted the party to be perfect, yet one thing kept bugging him; every single one of his friends would come with a date, except of AJ, because he just broke of his relation with his last girlfriend.

It sounded really stupid, but he needed to fix him with someone, but surely not with a
Carter girl Nick thought a lot about it and still couldn't find an answer.

And in his mind he had one thought AJ mustn't leave the party without being introduced to a nice girl. The party must be full of drop dead hot girls

*******************

Everyone responded happily to attend the surprise party; Nick couldn't ask for more, he told Jamie about his desire to hook his friend AJ with a girl, he wanted AJ to be busy with a new girl that wouldn't mind who he was or what was his job or his fame or how mush he has in his bank account. That is when Jamie told Nick that she had the perfect girl to suit AJ.

*************

"Com'on Jamie I wouldn't think would work out" she said to her best friend
"Why not? He is cool nice person that wouldn't mind hanging out with you in a mall or at a manicure session, someone who would enjoy pampering you, and plus my friend, I know for a fact the huge crush you have for him." Jamie replied
"But I don't …." She never managed to finish her words
"OK then tomorrow at 5 you'll be at my place and we'll go out with him, believe me you'll like it and he'll find you hot girl"

Finally the day Nick was waiting came.
Nick hardly convinced Jamie to celebrate her 21 birthday with a style.
He tried hard to get her into Howie's club, so she went there convinced that it was a simple party including just friends and close ones, but as Jamie entered with Nick she was surprised with this huge number of people wishing her a happy birthday, it was something she never expected at all, it was a dream come true.

Along the guests were all the Backstreet boys, her friends, Tiger was there, and her best friend ever Alexis, everything was perfect.

It was something great, many upbeat dance songs, just to make it all clear the only thing that was missing some paparazzi in the party.

Some how Howie noticed the strange look on AJ's face; he took him a side for a talk.

As they entered the management office, Howie looked at AJ and tried to make a joke out of what he noticed.
"AJ what's up man, some how I cannot figure you, if I didn't know you better I could have said that your eyes never left Nick's girl at all?"

"Gosh D. was it that obvious?" AJ looking worried.

"Oh my God Are you?" It was Howie who got surprised this time, "You have something for Jamie?"

"I dunno man; I don't want to have these feelings but…" AJ was looking in his pocket for a cigarette, the as he took one and light it.

"Look D, it started as Nick asked me to make Jamie busy so he could prepare this party, ok… No wait let me be truthful it was back to couple of years, when we were flying in the tour, you know how Nick hates flying we talked about lots everything, so he talked a lot about the girl next door called Jamie… I let it pass it didn't mean a thing back then, but I was really so ready to hang around a girl like her, any time any day. So three weeks ago we start hanging out; and let's say we trusted each other in many things because JAMIE and I had something common between us like we both had to survive a great life," AJ said sarcastically.

He took a breath then gazed into his hands before throwing himself on a nearby chair.

"A strange feeling of trusting each other; you can say that we became closer, like we've known each other for Ages, I think that my feelings are mixed. I don't know if they are love feelings… yeah I know they sound crazy but I am confused and lonely. The only person that I always find to cheer me up, is her, she doesn't question a thing I do, she don't freak out if I told her that -some times- I long for some crack, or when I say that I wish to have a drink or two. She trusts me and always tells me that they are all feelings, which come and go..."

Howie looked at AJ. "She is right, so are the feelings you are having for her, they'll go because for Christ sake she is Nick's girlfriend?!"

"I know that, it is the last thing I'd ever want to do is to break his heart, I know how much Jamie means to Nick and that Nick have tried over the past 2 years to really make Jamie see his true love but at the same time I can't hide this feeling and I do L…"

Just as he was about to continue his words Jamie opened the door , "Here you are Both of you, com'on won't you sing me something with Nick, Brian and Kevin… com'on it is my birthday…" she smiled at them

"Oh we would love to right AJ?" Howie smiled back at her and looked at AJ.

"Oh yes we would but first I would love to give Jamie her birthday gift, it is something I recorded the other day, not finished but it is for her, just go ahead Howie we'll come soon."
AJ informed, but some how Howie felt hard on leaving them, hesitated then as Jamie looked at him.
"It is ok Howie go and surprise me with a song I am sure AJ can deal with any song you'll pick we'll follow soon"
So that was it, and as Howie left the room AJ turned on the CD player that was in the office and place a CD in it.
It did not take a couple of minutes before the song played in the back

"I've seen people come and go
See people fall in and outta love
As my mother told me she said don't let life control me
But I did
So what you think of me
What you think of me now?
Of who I am?

I'm everything you wanted me to be
But as you can see not very happy (no)

I need sometime to find myself in me
And I need sometime to find true love
But if I can't then I won't stop trying
If I don't then I won't live lying, yeah
What do people really want?
They wanna be happy
They wanna be happy"

Hearing the song Jamie felt tears in her eyes, it was something no one had ever given such a gift, in her heart she didn't know what to believe or say.

"OH AJ that is just so beautiful song dear, I don't know what to say cuz even thank you doesn't seem enough," Jamie was trying to find some words to say but AJ stepped in front of her.

"Jamie I actually wanted to tell you something that has been so heavy on my chest but I can't keep it hide, I … I think I am falling in love with you"
Jamie looked at his face, realizing the words he just said, his eyes were already fixed on her
"I know it is hard to believe it but I am sure that I found myself with you lately in a way that I have never felt before."
As he was looking at her Jamie was truly confused it was hard to get it inside her mind that one of her new best friend and the best friend of her beloved one has ctually fallen in love for her.

She realized how close he was to her as was about to kiss her, she slowly moved her head whispering, "AJ I truly respect your feelings, but I am deeply in love with Nick, and that is a thing I can't deny."

His lips ended up on her cheeks printing a simple & gentle kiss there he wished if she knew the turmoil he had in his heart, the loneliness he felt the emptiness just was to close.

As AJ headed back to switch off the players nick entered.
"Hey you both what took you so long we are ready to sing you one hell of a song J.J"
Nick looked around AJ was moving slowly while tears were shown on Jamie's cheeks,
"What is it honey? What happened?" nick questioned feeling worried

As AJ headed back to switch off the players nick entered.
"Hey you both what took you so long we are ready to sing you one hell of a song J.J"
Nick looked around AJ was moving slowly while tears were shown on Jamie's cheeks,
"What is it honey? What happened?" nick questioned feeling worried
Jamie dried her tears in hurry and smiled to Nick
"Nick... it is nothing AJ just wrote me a song as a birthday gift and it was wonderful that was it all."
Then she gave nick this quit huge hug and whispered to him "I truly love you" He smiled at her
"Well you haven't seen my gift yet." And winked to her
"Com'on AJ we are about to sing her that special want it that way com'on"
As they came out of the office she saw Kevin sitting in front of him a keyboard plugged to the amplifiers and they were all ready to hear what the boys are about to sing to the birthday lady.
Soon as she sat next to her friend Alexis the boys started singing

I'm yours completely
I feel so deeply
You're my first thought everyday
And I want it that way
My life is for you
And I adore you
I love you more everyday
And I want it that way
No goodbyes Ain't nothin' but a heartache
No more lies Ain't nothin but a mistake
That is why I love it when I hear you say
I want it that way
My heart is on fire
Such a strong desire
Yes I know it's too late
But I want it that way

I gave you my heart
Baby right from the start
And that's the way it will always be yeah
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me...

You are my fire The one desire
You are You are, you are, you are

Don't wanna hear you say Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake I want to hear you say
I love it when I hear you say (oh yeah)
You want it that way

As they ended the song Jamie was happy she really needed something to distract her from the conversation she and AJ just had couple of minutes ago, but still it was kept in her mind his words "I think I am falling in love with you" over and over again.

The only thing that cut her thought was the question of Alexis,

"Jamie do you think that he has noticed me?"
"Huh… sorry Alli, I was drifting away, what you said?" asked

"Gees you are totally missed up girl, I never known that falling in love with that Carter guy would make you dose off, do you think AJ noticed me, 'Cause I don't think so , your Guy just made him impossible to reach, all those flirty girls"

Alexis said, which made Jamie laugh.

"I told you! You should have worn that hot red dress but you wanted to wear this silky black one, I'll tell you the only thing that would make AJ possible to you is dance girl, I'll speak to the DJ you'll have your time with AJ." Jamie said that and headed to the DJ to tell him about the coming song.

As she just finished talking with the DJ, she was about to head back to her friend when she found nick standing in front of her.

"Jamie I think I can only give you this right now… happy birthday."

He handed her a leather bag, as she opened it she found black leather hand made braided strap with the a little cross hanging from it at the front side there was a heart with "I Love thee" engraved and on the back of it was "U R the angel4me"

She looked at him, he smiled and took it from her hand and wrapped it around her neck; as he finished some how it was a Bryan Adams song being played, she never thought that Nick would dance on a slow song with her, but he did.
She looked at the bar were Alexis was sitting, AJ was sitting there but it seemed that still no contact was made between them.

When the song ended, the upbeat songs were coming and everyone was back onto dancing

*******************

As Jamie went back she looked at Alexis "SO did you talk Allie?"
"Oh yeah as if he was in the mood , Jamie… all he talked about was YOU, his feelings, how cool Jamie's party and how she looked great tonight and it mad me little frustrated" Alexis told her friend

Jamie thought to herself 'this must come to an end soon'.

Some how it was a miracle for Alexis as the DJ announced that he'll play his own extended double mix version of shining star, get another boyfriend and not for me to honor the party lady.

It was the moment Jamie was looking for.

She poked Alexis to head to the dance floor because everyone know that AJ' wouldn't wait a moment on dancing on such a mix.

As AJ was heading to the dance floor someone was calling his name and as he turned to see who this person was, he was handed a HAT. He tried to see who was it but never knew who handed it to him, he just happened to find it on his hand.

AJ always felt like 'Johnny no name' with the hat, he always felt free and on going person.

Alexis went to the dance floor to dance, but she found herself dancing by herself, and AJ was there dancing too but not by himself; he was surrounded with girls. As he was dancing he started moving around the girl next to him was about to get closer to him, and started some dirty dance steps, then all the sudden his hat flown away from his head and slowly went into Alexis's hands.

Alexis was looking at the hat that lay in her hand all the sudden wondering what would happened once his hat is now in her hands.

On the other hand AJ's eyes were fixed on the hat as it landed into this girl, he looked at her, and for him it was like a sign since his hat went to her from all the girls surrounding him. He expected to find his hat on the floor or being caught by one of the guard but instead he found it in her hands,

Jamie felt like the little miracle she wished for was granted because her friend didn't have to look for her way to dance with AJ McLean; it was AJ Mclean who made his way right to her.
As AJ faced Alexis he looked at her and said, "Guess after all we can share some dance"

Alexis couldn't help to return the smile to him for it was the first time she ever hear AJ saying some thing but in a funky way not the sad tune he had.

He held her hand and took back his hat then they both started dancing.
Some how AJ was surprised to find that the girl he ended up dancing with was pretty good one, and the dance led to another but that other was hotter and more upbeat one, and with the heat of the dance he could only hear the girls and guys around Jamie going like

"GO Alex go Alex"

AJ got himself mixed up most of the people around Jamie he never known and he did not know whither they were shouting for him or for the girl he was dancing with.

After all Jamie knew exactly why Alexis was AJ's perfect match, she was the exact thing he needed and she was what completes him.

As the dance ended Alexis headed towards Jamie, she was happy and smiling but she was surprised to see that AJ headed to another corner, or rather disappeared from the dance floor, some how that made Alexis feel that he was thinking that she was just another fan trying to catch his eye.

Jamie sat along with Alexis and as they waited for their drinks Alexis looked at Jamie

"Gosh J.J. tell me is there anything wrong with me, he still treats me like I'm invisible?"
"Stop it Alex, you are not invisible, haven't you heard the guys here they were all drooling, wishing to have a dance with you."

As Jamie ended her words the girl, who was trying to dirty dance with AJ causing his hat to fly, came close to the bar. She leaned on the counter in a very exposed way asking for her own drink, then as she turned to look for someone on the dance floor, she looked at both Jamie and Alexis with the corner of her eye,
"Oh it is the girl who was trying to hunt Mclean, ain't it true?" she was talking in rather a sly way.

She only got two sets of fiery eyes glaring at her, Jamie was about to ignore her but Alexis stood in front of that girl, Jamie told her self "'here goes Alex Taurus attitude again"

"First of all Missy, I am not a hunter, I am not the one who was about to dirty dance, and for your information I am someone who truly love AJ," Alexis said.

However, the girl looked at Alexis to continue her attack,
"Listen you girl AJ would never look at a child with this crush like you, he would look for someone who has it all, body, appeal, and class, which I bet you don't have any"

"A CRUSH..?" Alexis looked at the girl,
"You don't know what love is to try and define what a crush is. What I feel is not a crush, and the only thing that makes me sure that it is not is the feeling I have for AJ, it is the happiness I feel when I see his smile; even if he was with another girl. The joy I feel when he is happy, the saddens I feel when he is sick, mad or sad. Do you know what that is? Because it is not a crush"

It only took Alexis less then couple of seconds not to think and she held her little Lois Vetton bag and hurried out of the club.

The girl was about to start laughing and turned to take her drink but then, a hand came from the darkness of the bar.
"I am sorry Ma'am, I think you are way too drunk, it is our rule here, and you have to wait at least for an hour before getting a refill."

Jamie looked into the bartender to find that AJ was there, talking

"Oh god I have to talk to her…" Jamie said in shock

But then AJ held her back
"Let me go and talk to your friend out there."

And so AJ disappeared after Alexis and Jamie was left staring in between the club's door and the already drop dead drunken woman next to her
What a birthday party she had?

************

Outside the club Alexis was heading to her car to leave, but then before she could hold the handle of the car's door.

She felt someone's hand holding hers and stopping her from getting into the car.

Alexis was still angry because of that dumb girl. Blinded by madness; she held her bag and hit that person without looking whom he or she was, she thought that is was a stalker or someone trying to force himself on her but then, she only noticed the tattooed wrest and she stood there being puzzled as she realized that she just hit none other than AJ Mclean

It was no one other than AJ, she blush in colors and starts to wonder why he has finally noticed her did he hear the words she has said with that girl?? She didn't really know for sure because she didn't see him while she was talking to her.
She was there looking at him frozen in time wondering what should she do!

And there he was looking at her wondering what the hell he was thinking about, he thought himself in love with another girl many times before, he didn't want to be wrong this time and use this lady in front of him.

At the same time she was thinking about the feelings she all the sudden started having.

"God, ok it's true he is here and I am in front of him! gosh I just hit him with my bag! God knows what words I have said too?" Alexis was thinking, "I can't start any normal conversation with him, God all my normal conversation is about him and I don't want to say anything that'll bother him, cuz he's absolutely sick of fans who come to say how much they love him and bla bla"

AJ looked at the over gazing girl looking at him
"So I guess that you have a tongue to talk with?" he said
"Oh I am really sorry I haven't noticed it was you, I am sorry for hitting you, did I hurt you?" instead of telling him about the volcano of emotion inside of her all she managed to say was a hopeless try to fake an apology.

"I am ok I hope you are? I didn't expect you to leave the party soon it is still early, right?"
"Oh I have to be home before 11 it is the curfew I promised my self to stick with, so I had to leave,"
A lie she didn't have to say but it happened to be part of the truth, "Would you love to have a cup of coffee I still have about half an hour right!" Alexis smiled shyly.

"I would love to."
AJ never understood why he felt guilty. He wanted to erase the mixed feelings he had because it didn't make any kind of sense that less than an hour ago he confessed to Jamie that he is falling in love with, and now he is giving himself a chance with another girl, a friend of hers.

He opened the car door, and allowed her into the driver seat, as she opened the Radio, and started the engine. It didn't take him couple of seconds before he asked her
"GIRL YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR NAME? I was hit by you I'm having coffee with you but I still didn't know your name"

Alexis looked at him for seconds but continued to drive and didn't answer him,
"Who are you?" He said
"I'll call you Trudy if you continue your silence" AJ confirmed which made her laugh.
Alexis looked at him
"Officially I am called AJ Edwards but most of my friends call me AJ"

AJ's eyes were wide open, his mouth dropped drastically,

"WOW that wud be like umm a dramatic coincidence Girl! Really? You are called AJ
or you're just kiddin me"

Alexis shake her head " My name is Alexis Jasmina and don't tell me it is a cute name I can't even stand it, so everyone call me AJ and that is my name"
AJ was still under the shock this new discovery he made.
It didn't take them time before they end up in 'Star bucks' sharing a cup of coffee, and as they were about to leave AJ looked at her.

"Honey I have to leave because it is late, but I don't mind driving you home" he said , which made her smile to him
"I don't think so AJ McLean your car already been left in the car parking outside the club remember, so YOU are gonna use my car."

AJ recalled that fact and laughed at himself, " ok then but I'll drive ok!"

As she was about to agree with him, she heard the same ringtone ringing from both their mobiles, she looked at him as he held his mobile to answer, and she by her turn did the same


It didn't take both of them 5 minutes as he looked at her

"Ok tell me was that Jamie asking where the hick were you?"
"Oh god and you had Nick calling you?"

"Well, they announced us missing and wanted to check on both of us, can't be luckier tonight,"
"I told Jamie I was with you and driving you home, so you better keep up to my word" Alexis said.
"I think you'd better drive me then to any of the hotels on your way." AJ looked at her
"Why … aren't you going to stay home?" Alexis inquired
"I bet you know that I broke up with Kathy, she still didn't find a place to move to, so I gave her a month or so to find a place, that is all." He said looking back at his nails
"It is ok I know that but since it is over I wont say a thing"

They both went back into the car, Alexis looked at AJ.
"Listen AJ, I think since you are not committed to any girl it is ok if you stayed the night at my place" Alexis didn't know how she dared to ask such a question.
"Oh don't get me wrong... Gosh that sounded pathetic" she corrected herself
"I live in a penthouse right in midtown and I have extra guest room that is all." She told AJ apologizing.
"It is ok with me, the doors have locks right." He said joking to her "Oh yeah they have!" returned it back to him

Through out the rest of their drive AJ's mind was full of thoughts, while they were in 'starbucks' he never had time to think about Jamie Nick or any one, but since they made that call she was right in his mind.
How stupid he felt, he knew that Alexis was a friend of Jamie, he saw them sitting together at the bar.
He didn't know that mentioning Jamie would remind him about what he was trying to forget; it struck him back into reality, now he felt even more confused. He just wanted to let it go for a while, he didn't want to waste a good time with someone who is not into the hotshot person he was, someone who would care for the person in him.

************************

the Truth

Back as the party faded and it was time to leave, nick dropped Jamie back home, walked her to the door and as he kissed her goodnight he realized something, she didn't flinch to his kiss, he hoped that it would be a new start for what ever was keeping her away.
She went inside and closed the door and sigh with a big smile on her face, not only she had the perfect birthday party ever, and also Tiger is leaving this house by the end of this week, nothing can get worst nothing she thought.

As Jamie went back home she tiptoed to her room but suddenly the lights were on and there at the top of the stairs stood her dad he was mad and she never understood why he has been so hard and tough with her she opened her mouth to speak up but he looked at her and said.

"So are you expecting me to allow you bitching around the neighborhood?" his words were so shocking because no girl would expect her dad to say such a thing

"DAD... I am not.. we were having my birthday party and ..." she wanted to continue but he stopped her

"Why the hell you were late? And what about this outrageous thing you are wearing stupid Bitch."

"Don't DAD me for god's sake, something that obscene couldn't ever been made for a party! You have to understand that if you want to stay in this house you have to stop f******* around that Carter, ok!" he was shouting at her and she never understood why

"DAD... but I love him and we are really happy and you don't know Nick even!!"

"WELL HELL I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME DAD YOU ARE NOT EVEN HALF MY DAUGHTER!" he shouted at her

She only heard her mother gasping and calling him
"Henry..."
From the looks on both their eyes Jamie knew that some thing was wrong
"Is that true mom" she asked "he is not my true father!" her mother never answered but she knew from the look on her face that she was true, so she only took a breath and looked back to them.
She didn't know how to feel she was sure something like that would be out one day she had a feeling of it.
"All of my life I felt you are hiding something from me, the way you treated us both, me and tiger were just toys you can control without telling us the truth behind it, Why?" Jamie snapped out at them.

"Jamie don't yell at your Dad." He mother was trying to calm things down
"My DAD! Who the F*** is he, he doesn't want me to say that word, and he is not My Dad,"

"Jamie!"

It was his hand rested on her face; hitting her; she looked back at Henry Martin the man that was her father couple of hours ago

"What else do you find your self wanting to do, what else?" she looked at him defying him.
She grabbed back her bag and went to the door
"Where do you think your self going?" his voice insulted her ears
"I am leaving you for good, I don't have to take any more of this bulls shit from you."

She didn't know what she said to trigger such an attack from Him, just before reaching the door she found him holding her neck.
"You miserable f*** I had to take care of you for the past 20 years, I had to put up with all the stupid acts you played, and I thought that once you turned 21 you'll be kind to pay something back, oh you rather….."

She knew that she couldn't breath, or take any more of the stupidity he was saying, she could only try her best chance.

She heard her mother trying to stop him, but that was all she didn't want to take it any more, she was struggling, then she hit him right in his stomach.

As his hand released her, she managed to reopen the door.

Holding where his hand was choking her, trying to regain her breath, "Well since I am old enough, I am leaving, I'll call you back mom but I want to know about my real father and don't lie to me any more"

That was the last thing she ever wanted to say to both of them she wished to scream at her mom telling her how could she do such a thing and she would have called Henry martin some more names since he had been treating her like shit for ages but then she didn't say a word she didn't want to deal with them any more.


*******************

As the door got opened welcoming him, he saw an unexpected, ordinary yet a small spaced penthouse; not too feminine, not too muscular, some corners were simple and plain, while others contained many colors, this controversy gave the place its taste, "cool place" A.J. said
"Thank you, it reflects who I am, it's my safest place to hide, Anything to drink?" Alexis offered as she headed to the kitchen
"Water please" he asked while checking everything around him.

Near the couch he saw a guitar leaning, next he saw this opened note book, the paper already been scratched and he saw that it what ever was in this paper got there the hard way, for it was erased too many times, he took the not book and started to read the scribbles,

"I want a hero
I need a one
To cheer me up when the storm comes on

I need a hero to live near by
When my heart just aches&starts to cry
When life just takes a way a little dream of mine
A hero to rejoice my day and nights

I need this hero to keep my faith
To give me love when skies won't rain
To be my shelter when I'm in pain

I need a hero to make me safe
To stay by my side
To take my joys and share my smiles

I need a hero with me tonight"

"Did you write this?" he asked, looking at her coming out of the kitchen.
"Oh…Gosh … yeah, I did… but I totally hate them, it is one of the scribbles I keep to fix later", she handed him the water, and for a moment she was struck back.

'Gosh, he is here with me in my penthouse, me & A.J. McLean together, Gosh Jamie, you won't believe that he's in my place now'.

She didn't realize the big grin that was on her face.
"thanks Alexis" she heard him saying giving her back the cup of water, she tried hard to hide it her grin she didn't want A.J to notice her and start asking what was that grin all about.

"You seem to be really tired A.J. I'll bring you a pillow and some blankets if you wanna go to sleep. I would give you one of my pajamas, you know, but I don't think you'll be happy to wear mine" she winked,
"hehe..Yes please, I really need to sleep now. I feel really exhausted"

He was completely exhausted, and he needed to sleep, but once he put his head on the pillow he regretted not spending more time with Alexis, he knew that he has just met her today, but this girl made him feel like no one could.

He was confused, he had the same strange feelings for Jamie just a few hours ago and still as he recalled her, but now what made it more absurd now that he feels almost the same way towards Alexis, he never been that confused in his life.

He was lost, thinking about Jamie and how he was about to kiss her today.
"But she doesn't feel the way I do, plus I can't do this to Nick, Jesus, how could I do this? I know how much he loves her...What the hell I was thinking?" he felt guilt.

He sat in the bed clasped his hand in front of his mouth, he could need a prayer for tonight he needed some sweet distraction, something to allow him to move a notch form this situation, he walked to the window looked at the sky, some scattered clouds appearing in the sky and the smell of the rain filling his senses, a hat would be useful if it rained in the morning, Hat!

What a nice object to recall at this point. It was an answer to his prayers as he remembered the party where he and Alexis danced together. though it was the first time they ever dance their steps matched. Their sways and even the hands moved so right, it was the Hat that choose her, and it was some how this confusion started, after that dance he never thought she would stand against that woman and shut her up, he was there listening to every single word she said about him.

It wasn't weird for him to hear girls saying how much they love him, but this time he felt weird, it wasn't just what she said but also how she said it, her eyes were honest, hurt and free; he could tell that, she wasn't like any other girl he met.

He could tell what Alexis is, he felt he knew her for ages, like he knew every little thing about her and her life, he could bet and win if he tried to figure out what she likes and doesn't, what dreams she might keep inside , even he could guess kind of ice cream flavor she loves.

They just met today, but since he saw her, he forgot his feelings towards Jamie while he was with her, Alexis turned a new page of his life, she made him feel like teenagers again, when life was super cool, when he owned the world, it was like he could fight against the world and nothing or no one can stop him.
He was scared because he was feelings things he shouldn't have, because it early, too early to feel this way, he just met the girl and now he's freaking himself out. It isn't a normal thing, everything is going crazy.

"It seems I’m losing my head now, this whole thing is ridiculous, how could I feel such a thing? We just spent a couple of hours together, damn it, this is crazy" he was thinking.
He decided to sleep now to rest and hoped when he wakes up tomorrow he won't feel insane anymore.

**************************

She looked at him closing the door of the guest room, she gazed into the closed door for couple of seconds before heading to her own room, without even thinking twice she lay on her bed, a few feet away from the man she's always loved, her mind was full of happy thoughts about everything that happened that day, she couldn't help but calling Jamie to tell her every detail, but Alexis knew she owed her an apology for leaving her party that way,-

"Jamie, sorry for spoiling your birthday party, I shouldn't have left this way"-
"No, it's ok sweetie, I had the greatest b-day party ever, but I was worried about you.
Now tell me Hun, what happened with you and A.J.?"-
"He's here now"-
"NOWAY!!! He's in your place!!! You weren't kidding! Girl what's up on your mind?"
"No silly, don't get it wrong, I offered him to come here instead of spending his night in a hotel…I don't know how could I offer such a thing"
"I'm happy you offered that, anyway Hun, I'll call you later to know every little detail because I gotta go now, I'm on my way back home"
"Ok cookie, happy birthday and goodnight"

************************

Alexis woke up late at night, it was about 2:15 a.m., she felt weird, she didn't want to open her eyes but the sound that she heard made her up to her feet, hearing the sound of the guitar that filled her home, being played with an unfamiliar melody, she walked out of her room and there was A.J. with his beautiful voice – singing with a low tone- it was an amazing scene for her to see, he was like an angel to her, grabbing her guitar and singing with his eyes closed.

Her senses went alert, She needed to know what he was singing, slowly she got closer in her try to catch some of the words he was singing.

"I need this hero to keep my faith
To give me love when skies won't rain
To be my shelter when I'm in pain
I need a hero to make me safe"

'Wait a minute…oh my God…he's singing my lyrics…these are my lyrics' she was telling herself, trying to catch her breath, trying to calm herself down, she was smiling with a tear flowing down her cheek, it was the most unbelievable things that happened to her in the past 24 hours, just when she thought that she got all the blessing of that day, then the voice stopped, A.J. was looking at her.

"Did I wake you up? oh ,sorry about that, Alexis" he was lying, he knew that, he wasn't totally sorry for waking her up, he wished she's get up to hear him singing her words, he wanted to see how she'd react.
"No, not all" she said
"You didn't, I love what you were singing"

A.J. paused for a moment realizing the trace of the tear which fell in her face.

"I couldn't sleep, I had this melody for your scribbles just the moment I read them, it was stuck in my head and I had to come here to sing" he told half a lie this time, how could he tell her that this was one little reason he couldn't sleep from. That as he was thinking of her and the words sank in his soul, he wished to be that hero, he wondered about her dreams, he dared to indulge himself to imagine her while sleeping, he knew that after all of the dance night she might fall asleep like a baby, if he could stop all of these thoughts, but he couldn't he was thinking about her all night long.

"I was confused for a second to hear you singing my words, you made them sound like an original thing, weird, it was like a dream"
"Hope you liked it"
"Are you kidding me!!!? I love it, it's awesome ..."she sat beside him on the couch and got the guitar from him.
"I was trying to do something with these lyrics, but I don’t know" she played her melody and sang the first couple of lines, "wow!! You're talented, girl"
"No I don't like it that much, it needs some time to be good"
"I think it's really good" A.J. commented
"But I preferred yours! It sounded more…" She looked at him trying to find a word to describe his melody
"It was more out of the Alexander part, not the Johnny no name, or the AJ McLean, it was like you got the soul of an old spirit,,, I am getting into a lot of words, sorry"

"No, don't be, so if you are not sleepy you wouldn't mind trying to fix something in between both of the two melodies?"

"You mean you'll collaborate with me in this?" she was surprised for his willingness to share his music with her.
***********

As time flow AJ took the guitar and started his final version of the song, his whole feelings spilling in it, he knew in his heart this would be a great hit if it got released, better it would be the best Rock Romantic song once it was recorded, he looked at Alexis next him, he wanted to ask her about this final version, but there she was sleeping soundly so cute and peacefully next to him, he thought that when she held his arm while he was playing that she was happy for the song and about ready to get the guitar back but then as he could see she was tired and sleepy.

It started raining, and Jamie wasn't sure where to go, she ran away, never looked back, she wanted to find some thing to relief the pain. She wasn't sure why it hurt worst than before.

"Rain on me, wash the pain, just rain on me." She was singing humming and almost shouting.

*************


Nick drove in to his place, he was busy this night, Jamie's party was a blast, he was called after driving her home to the studio, and he recorded a new line, nothing was about to ruin his night.

The rain was pouring in; he loved the rain and the smell it reflects.

As he was parking his car a shadow appeared to him, some one was on the steps and it made him wonder, why a person would wait for him about 2a.m.

He slowly stepped out of the car and silently went to that person.

As the light brought it clear to his vision, it was Jamie, totally wet, and probably spent the past hour waiting for him.

He bent to her, "Honey... Jamie, Everything's OK"
she opened her eyes, they were red shots as if she was crying , buffed up and totally sad one.

"Nick ... " she never managed to complete her sentence, she just buried herself in his arms.

She didn't want to talk about anything; she wanted him to hold her.

He felt the coldness of her hand, the shiver of her body, and the warm tears of her on his skin, they didn't need to be out in the rain.

He helped her up to her feet, and then as he felt her weakness he held her up, and carried her inside.

***********************


She was there on the couch, hugging, rocking and humming to her self.
Nick couldn’t understand it, she looked like a wreck; she was so troubled, didn't know what to go or where to head, like she was shocked all.

Nick disappeared for couple of moments before he get back to her, she looked at him as he was holding some dry clothes.
"Babe... you better change into something warm and dry"

She looked at him, and once again in her thoughts, she threw her self back into his arms, all the sudden his phone rang.

"Nick, I am not here, please!" she told him
He looked at her in surprise
"You meant you don't want any one to know you are here?"
"yeah?"


**************************


In another half an hour, nick thought that Jamie gained back the warmth from his embrace, he was still there holding her, he lied to her brother telling him he never saw her, she figured out that perhaps Tiger did tell Nick about the argument with her dad, perhaps that is why nick is not asking her about anything.

"Nick... He told me he never was my Dad!" she finally managed to speak, never shifting his position, yet holding her tighter, "Tiger told me Babe"
he heard her sniffing, then getting closer into his hold.


"He told me he was waiting me to grow then pay him back! I thought he was kidding me but then mom was there, she stood by him, she didn't even stop him as he ...."


As she stopped talking, Nick looked at her.
"What did he do Jamie, did he hurt you!?"
"He is just out of my life Nick just please I don't want to talk about him anymore please?!" she told him, she looked strange for him but he couldn't manage to figure out why, he thought that it was from the shock of what she revealed.

He didn't need any reply from her to know that this stupid Henry Martin did treat her badly, if not this night, her birthday night, at least for what ever she felt in the past 20 years of her life and he should pay for such actions.


When Alexis woke up the next day, she was still on the couch, the only thing she remembered was A.J. & her doing some improvements on her melody, she felt a sleep, she laid her head on his shoulder, he hugged her closer then she fell asleep...

But as she woke up this morning he wasn't beside her.
"Alex..." she called
"A.J., where are you?" she called again, but she heard nothing, he was gone.

He left without saying goodbye and she didn't know why.
He left her in confusion, with many what's and why's in her head.

Nick could not sleep, he realized that Jamie was tiered so he picked her up to his bedroom, slowly placing her on the sheets and covering her.
Something felt strange in his heart, he was wondering about the day she will wake up in his bed, and she would be the first thing he ever sees in the morning, but he never wished it to happen under such circumstances.
 
He wanted to have a walk around, to get rid of all the crazy thought he had in his mind, as he was walking around the pool he saw a little nylon bag near of it.
 
He thought it was from the neighborhood, probably some kid trying to do a stunt on him.
He entered the living room, looking around him and he recalled that Jamie's clothes were totally wet, so Nick took Jamie's wet outfit to put it in the dryer.
 
He whistled all his way there, and before putting the clothes in the machine, he started emptying the pockets that was when he found this small plastic bag with a white powder in it, his heart sank deeply.
He was not sure what to think and he did not know what that powder was, rather than it he tried to guess what was it, and he did not like what he guessed
 
"Was she's addicted?" he asked himself
 
Nick dragged his feet to the living room; he put the bag on the coffee table and started thinking of what really happened.
He did not know if why and how it happened, he could not guess and wait, he wanted to get an answer.
Nick decided to call some one who knew how it feels to taste such a thing, he needed to call the only close one he knew and had such a problem he wanted to call AJ and some how shift the blame to some one else.
 
 Therefore, at about 4:30 am he called AJ, luckily, that AJ was still awake, and his mobile was on the silent mode
 
Nick knew that A.J would be awake because AJ told him that he was finding some hard time sleeping after breaking up form Kathy. So he called him and waited.
 
It rang almost twenty times before AJ answered.
"Hi there Nick what's up man?" Asked AJ
"AJ I need you to come to my apartment, something happened and I need your help"
 
"Nick. Do you like me to call the others if it is that important?" AJ was rather concerned.
 
"No I don't want any one to know about it AJ, it is something about Jamie and I need your help"
 
"Alright Nick just give me about 30 minutes to come, We'll talk about everything."
 
Nick through his mobile on the couch and stared at the bag, this time his enemy would be the bag.
 
It didn't take him couple of minutes before he started his own monologue
 
'Why didn't you tell him about Jamie stupid?' he asked,
This situation is driving me crazy.
I am sure that AJ is clean but I need to know why Jamie had it in her pocket. What made her get drugs?' how did she get them, Gosh did AJ had any hand in it, come on  nick it is impossible and you know that, you shouldn't prejudge AJ, you never heard his defense'
 
He wanted make any excuse to know that Jamie was innocent, He needed to know if AJ noticed anything, if he saw her with some one, a drug dealer.
 
 
***************
 As AJ was heading to the door of Alexis apartment he remembered that his the car was still in the parking lot at Tabu, He needed to get as fast as he  can to Nick to he allowed himself to take Alexis car.
 ***************
 
AJ finally got to Nick's home, the sun was about to raise, and AJ was anxious to know what the emergency.
He used his keys and rushed into the living room, he saw nick sitting there looking upset and staring at a plastic bag on the table.
 
He didn't need to look twice to knew exactly what was it.
He thought that it was for Nick
 
AJ swallowed his pride and looked into Nick's Eyes
"What the heck is that Nick?"
 
"Well I guess you know about this thing right?" Nick answered,
 
AJ was not feeling better, he thought that nick got himself into trouble.
 
"Nick… Why?  Why are you doing this? How long has this been happening?"
 
Nick looked at AJ and wanted to tell him, He could see what AJ thought, and he had to tell him that he didn't get himself into addiction.
 
AJ was feeling bad by every passed second; he failed to protect his young brother and friend.
 
"This shit ain't mine AJ; I found them in Jamie's jacket"
 
AJ felt totally shocked how could a sweet person like Jamie put herself in this bad position, how could she be addicted, why he never noticed that.
He could have known if the person was a drug dealer or addict but not Jamie, she was not like any of them, and even though he took her to visit many places, they never crossed any of them.
 
 It was totally shocking.
 
AJ sat next to Nick and started discussing with him.
"When did she had the drugs? And how come we've never seen the signs?" Nick asked
"it is easy to hide signs Nick. You can look very normal and at the end of the day you get yourself high that no one notices? But when you left the club where did you go first? AJ asked
"I drove her home then went back to the studio, I had to finish some recording, then as I got in at about 3am I found her on the steps, sleeping, wet and in a total mess."
 
"Now Nick you drove her home at about 11-12 and when you got to home it was about 3 am, there was about 3 hours missing of her life, she could get herself high and god knows what so ever."
 
"But AJ she was was sleeping in the rain when I found her." Nick looked at his friend
"Are you sure that she was sleepin? She might have ….." AJ  stopped talking for a second
"Nick where her Eyes red and her face looked extremely tired?"
"Yep, she was not focusing and she looked numb, she didn't want to talk to Tiger"
 
Nick got more suspicious, his talk with AJ didn't make him feel any better, he needed to talk to Jamie once she woke up.
            ***************
 
It was about 8:15 when AJ and Nick heard some noise from the bedroom, they realized that Jamie was now awake.
 
As Jamie opened her eyes, she found her self in lying in this big bed. She remembered what she have done, she felt disgusted and wanted to cry.
 
She went to the bathroom and started throwing up, she was ashamed of herself , for the first time ever she felt weak, she almost killed her self trying a thing she knew that was really not safe.
 
She sat by the toilet crying, she felt humiliated and sick of herself
 
"Are you Ok J.J?" he was worried
She heard his voice and looked at him to find AJ staring at her too, the shame she felt grew bigger.
She buried her face in her hands, started crying more before she felt the urge to throw up again, and leaned to the toilet.
 
AJ held her immediately, and ordered Nick to prepare a huge mug of black bitter coffee. He knew that she needed to get that toxic out of her system
 
He pulled a towel and washed her face, then forced her to stand form the floor, he was little stiff with her, he didn't mean it but he couldn't understand why anyone would do it to herself.
 
 

"Are you Ok J.J?" he was worried

She heard his voice and looked at him to find AJ staring at her too, the shame she felt grew bigger.

She buried her face in her hands, started crying more before she felt the urge to throw up again, and leaned to the toilet.

AJ held her immediately, and ordered Nick to prepare a huge mug of black bitter coffee. He knew that she needed to get that toxic out of her system

He pulled a towel and washed her face, then forced her to stand form the floor, he was little stiff with her, he did not mean it but he could not understand why anyone would do it to herself.

"I am sorry AJ. I shouldn't have done that." She told him as he placed her on the bed
"You shouldn’t have done what Jamie?" he pretended that he never knew.
"I did a horrible thing yesterday." She told him. "I tried …." she looked at him and tried to catch a breath before she continued, "Drugs AJ, I bought some stuff and had them"

AJ looked at her, this time it did not make sense to him, the way she was telling him about it easily.

At that moment, Nick entered the room and sat next to her, holding her.

"Would you like me to tell Nick about it Jamie?" asked AJ

"Tell me about what?" Nick looked puzzled, what were they talking about?

"I tried some kind of drugs … yesterday" Jamie did not even look at him.
She was drawing circles on her skin with her finger.

"What did you take Jamie?" Nick held her shoulders and forced her to look at him

"I don't know Nick, I was in the park, it was late and I was crying like shit, a guy came by and offered to help me, I told him that he couldn't help, but he talked that what ever bothering me he was capable to make it easy."

"And you believe that" AJ almost shouted

"AJ you could never understand it, you were never told that the man that abused you all your life never was our father. You never had to feel the pain when some one hurts you. Or calls you names and then you find out that you are not his kid, and that you spent all of your life convincing yourself it was your fault then discovered that you lived with a lunatic AJ, My whole life was a big horrible lie, so don't start yelling at me"

She backfired at him, he didn't expect the results or the information he just heard, but some how he was capable to relate her pain,

On the other hand, Nick held her in his arms; he did not mind the spilt coffee on the sheet or his skin.

AJ could only imagine the pain she felt; knowing that she was in pain, and that it was more than she could handle.
She was strolling in the streets without knowing what to do, the rain pouring and when you are in pain if a dealer offered her an easy relief of that pain, and she was not thinking right when she got it.

"Honey I am sorry, I didn't know about that." AJ tried to soften the atmosphere

"AJ please give her time alone please," Nick told him

**************


Alexis felt so lost, she opened her eyes and looked for AJ but he wasn't there. She wished to find him in the apartment, but then it seemed that AJ wanted to leave.

She looked at the watch it was still 9 am, she still had an hour to make herself ready, she had a meeting, and she was going to be there on time.

She hurried herself and took a quick shower, prepared herself a fast breakfast, and was looking for something to wear.

She was glad that she found a clean pair of jeans; she took a mental memo,

'Alex you should get your stuff to the drycleaner ASAP'

She went to fix her make up when she heard the doorbell.

She headed there to open to door and as she opened it, she saw him looking back at her,

*****************************

She smiled as she saw him at the door; still wearing his outfit from last night, she wondered where he was?


He looked at her and he didn't know how to say it but then as she invited him inside he took the keys out of his pocket.
"I am really sorry Alexis but I borrowed your car for couple of hours?"
She looked at him in wonderment, "when did you take my car?
"this morning , something important happened and I had to deal with it and you know my car is still at tabu." He told her


she stood there looking like she didn't have millions of questions in her head, as she looked at him placing the keys on the table she was really about to explode.

"You know AJ this is a first no one , and I mean no one ever took a thing, anything I own without telling me , for god's sake, how could you? What if I called the cops and then you got into troubles?"

As Alexis showered him with zillions of questions, and he realized that he had unleashed the hidden dragon, he needed a way to distract her for a while.

He didn't know how to make her listen, he wanted her to shut up and he didn't find any other way so he leaned at her and kissed her.


Some how that one thing he choose to do was the perfect thing to shut her up, he didn't know what to expect from her.

Alexis cut her kiss with much regret she had to be somewhere in the coming half an hour, but the taste of AJ's kiss lingered in her soul.
"Why did you do that?" she whispered
He smiled at her and whispered back "Why? Was it that bad?"
She could not help not to laugh
"No… it is not bad at all it is just...I don't know you surprised me that is all'

She was trying to find a word to describe her feelings, but instead she was biting her lower lip; she started getting aware of his hands holding her tighter by the minute

She couldn't stop thinking out that kiss, she looked into his eyes and she felt as he was reading every thought she had.

They started moving, exploring their emotions, AJ never thought that he would feel such a feeling after his break up, and he was not sure of the feelings he had; in his heart he wanted the company of this girl, he needed to erase the emotion he had towards Jamie, he was mad of himself, mad of Jamie.

He wanted to blame some one.

Alexis was lost, she thought it was too good to be true. Last night AJ spent the night In her apartment; and now they are about to reach the bed room, it was extremely crazy, through the way to her bedroom, her heart was beating hard yet her mind was telling her that this shouldn’t be like this.

She felt that AJ wasn't acting as she expected, he wasn't harsh but he was tough, mad, and he wasn't looking right into her eyes.

As her body dropped on the mattress the feelings went wrong, she knew this is not right, something was not the way she expected, AJ was not the way she wanted, she thought he would call her name, or at least look into her eyes and she would see him wanting her, but nothing happened.

She didn't know why, but memories of the party flashed in her mind, AJ was always around Jamie, he took her to the management room, Jamie wasn't thrilled all through the night, she called her and asked her about him.
She wondered was he distracting himself from thinking of her, thinking about Jamie.

She found herself pushing him; she must have been crazy she thought.
"AJ I can't do that please…"

Some how he looked at her, he couldn't tell if he was offended by the reject or confused.

He looked at her setting on the bed and wanted to ask her but then he wasn't sure of what should he say.
"AJ I am sorry I can't do this." She told him and stood up then went to the bathroom's door.

"Alexis! I can't understand you! Did I hurt you or something?"

"No AJ you didn't hurt me, but I think your mind wasn't thinking about me?" she told him

He was still setting on her bed; he gazed straight into her eyes, "What do you mean?"

"Jamie, you are thinking about her right? You actually like her! How couldn't I see it yesterday, how blind was I to meet you and talk to you!" she started talking while pacing the space in front of her.

"Alexis it is not what you think" he told her, he was starting to like Jamie but he was attracted to her, sure she would get mad if he told her that.

Instead, he decided to tell her half of the truth, "Yes, I was thinking of Jamie but not the way you think" he told her
She stopped her walk and looked at him folded her arms and raised her brow
"As if I am going to believe you, you better put on your shirt and leave AJ" she told her
as she was leaving the room he stood up
"Nick found a bag of crack in her clothes yesterday" he told her
She looked at him and he could see her angry
"Impossible Jamie would never use drugs?"

"She did Alexis, and she was lucky that she didn't OD yesterday."

"I don't believe you AJ" she started shaking her head in disbelief
"Alexis, she found out that Martin wasn't her father, that she was abused all these years by some one who treated her like shit and she left that house , she is staying with Nick now."

He told her, as he came closer to her, she was a sensitive person after all, he held her tight.

"Why didn't she come here?" she looked at him, she was her best friend and she didn’t ask for her help

"I think she knew that I was staying here and she didn't want to spoil our night," he told her.

Alexis found her self setting on he bed she was shocked, "Is she alright?" she asked AJ
"I left her with Nick this morning and he promised me to take care of her that was the reason I took your car Alexis."
Alexis didn’t want to say anything she just sat silently before she decided to go to see her best friend.
**********
In another place Nick was lying next to Jamie, she needed him and he was thinking about every possibility he can imagine.

"Nick what would you think will happen?" she asked him
"I don't know sweets but I assure you nothing wrong would happen, I am with you right now," he told her

She looked at him for seconds.
"What if he hurt Tiger? Wouldn't he try to come after me?"
"No he wouldn't dare, I was thinking about it and I think we can get a restrain order, we can get you a body guard and I am sure we can fix something to help Tiger.'
He told her and planted a kiss on her forehead, she buried her head within his embrace, she was glad that he was there, she had no fear of anything when she was with him.
"Do you think I can find my dad, my real family?"
"I'll help you to find them, I promise you that."

**********************