We stayed in the air for what seemed like forever and then darkness came.

One

“Go with the wind…” Her words echoed in my head as I opened my eyes slightly. I heard words I recognized in a different language. There were people above me talking and commanding orders. So many people asking me if I knew who I was and where I was?

“Do you know what city you’re in?”

“Do…name?” Name? What name?

There’s so many faces surrounding me. Talking. Asking questions and I can’t focus, I can’t comprehend. There’s mechanical noises beeping and screaming around me and I close my eyes again.



Her blonde hair whipped in front of her sun beaten face. Her laughter echoed in my ears as we ran and screamed in a field of tall grass and dancing lilies. The air was thick and hot and the breezes were rare but through the sweat and stickiness of the day, I felt like I was on clouds. I felt light and my head was clear.

I saw her fall in front of me and I plopped down next to her in the grass. A bug fluttered on my leg and I brushed it away starring in her eyes. They were so blue. I had never noticed they were an ocean blue.

“This is amazing.” letting my head fall on the ground while I squinted up at the sun. I just heard her head softly hit the ground.

“Are your parents gonna let me come to my sweet sixteen?” she asked softly.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” I said propping myself up and looking in her young face, “Not even if Orlando Bloom asked for a date.”



“Have you ever kissed…anybody?” I asked her. She looked at me and laughed beautifully.

“Of course I have.” she smiled brightly. She closed her locker.

“What was it like?” I asked as we walked down the crowded hallway in Mileway Highschool. She pulled my arm and I nearly dropped my books. She pulled me into a bathroom stall.

“Okay, his lips were so soft and it was short but sweet.” She beamed. Her eyes glowed when she talked with a tone of nostalgia. “I loved it. It was amazing. He gently took my face and I put my hands on his. He gently leaned forward and he pushed his lips against mine and I closed my eyes. It felt like forever but it was probably like ten seconds. It was, it was just amazing. I hope your first kiss as good as mine.” she said smiling. I smiled hoping I had mine tomorrow and at the same time scared because I didn’t know how to kiss. I was thirteen and movies can only teach so much.

“You want to practice with me?”

It was such a weird question and it freaked me out.
“No.” I answered quickly wishing I could take it back.

“Just asking.” she said with ease and no offense. “You sure?”

“That’s…that’s gay.” I said twisting my face in disgusted confusion.

“So.” she said grabbing my face gently with her fingers. Her thumb gently brushed my top lip and she pulled my face to hers. Her lips were soft and moist and they lingered on mine for ten seconds. When she broke it I was close to hyperventilation. She giggled.

“Oh get over it. I’m sure with a boy it’ll be magical.” she grinned that perfect grin. She grinned that perfect downward grin with straight white teeth and pink lips not too big but not too small that fit her face perfectly.



“Jon! Jon!” I yelled running after her as fast as I could to catch up with her. My hands were sweaty and my heart was beating. Her short hair was pushed around by the wind as she turned and waited for me on the busy sidewalk full of leaving school children.

“Hey Nicky.” she said squinting through the bright sun which reflected off the sidewalks.

“You won’t believe who asked me to the dance.” I said trying so hard not to squeal.

“Who?” she asked a smile slowly creeping on her mouth.

“Nick-fucking-Carter.” I blurted out and slapped my hands over my mouth. She bursts out in giggles and I did soon after.

“Are you serious?” she laughed. She was surprised as I was. “Oh my gosh. What did you say? What did you say?” she said grabbing my shoulders.

“I said I’d think about it.” I said blushing. She shook me hard twice and we laughed.

“You’re a freaking freshman. He’s a junior who owns the game of basketball and you said I’ll think about it. Girl, you’re crazy. You should have said yes in a heartbeat.”

“I know, I know but, I wanted to make sure…I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t…” I started
hesitantly.

She smiled knowingly, “A prank?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I watched him walk away and even wave. He didn’t look at his friends or anything. They didn’t even laugh either so I guess it’s not.” she smiled and pulled me into a hug tightly.

“Go with your gut.” she whispered.



A man with a pretty face is talking to me. He touches my hand but I can’t hear him. I can only see him. I want him to hug me because I’m scared. I close my eyes.



I stormed from the dance trying to ignore the laughter. I stumbled painfully but I kept walking trying to keep the tears that hung hot and heavy in my eyes from falling.

“I won’t cry. I swear I won’t cry.” I hissed to myself. I slipped my shoes off and kept walking ignoring the stabbing pebbles and rough surface of the sidewalk.

“I won’t cry damn it, I won’t cry.” I hissed to myself as tears slid down my face and I ripped my arm across my face to dry the tears but more kept coming. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I didn’t want to ever see them again. I was angry, I was sad, I was scared and betrayed. I felt naked and alone. I wanted Jon. I tried to navigate my way to her house through dark streets and tall silhouettes of trees against quiet houses.

I walked letting tears fall down my face and walking with my shoes and purse in hands. I still had my makeup on. My dress had been easy to find. It was a cherry red with red lace at the top and bottom and it had a diamond-shaped diamond incrusted in the middle between the breasts. Tonight was supposed to be special. I wanted Jon.

I walked the dark streets until I could see the stars disappearing into the overwhelming city lights. I had been walking for maybe a little of over thirty minutes now and I had also slowed my pace, put my shoes on and tried to ignore the glances I received from passing strangers. I felt stupid now. I wanted to die. I walked to a pay phone because I was too shy to ask for a cell phone from anyone. I dialed Jon’s number and listened to the rings. After three rings, I hung up. I whispered to myself reassuringly that she‘d answer the phone. She never answered the phone. I wondered around for what seemed like hours before walking to another payphone. I dialed Jon’s number and her familiar voice answered on the phone. I suppressed a sob.

“Hello?” she asked again.

“Jon.” I said sniffing.

“Nickky,”

“It’s Majorie, don’t call me Nickky.” I growled.

“Where are you?”

“Downtown by the mall. Right outside of the pizza place on fifty-first.” I sobbed into the phone.

“I’m coming to get you now Majorie. Don’t cry sweetheart. What happened?”



It’s a woman this time. She has dark hair and dark eyes. She’s talking and I can hear her but I can barely understand her. She says something about medicine and then something about my spleen. I close my eyes again.



By the time she sped up splashing gathering water by the curb , it was raining heavily and it was dark. I rushed from the pizzeria and into an open and waiting door. I slid in, my hair ruined by the heavy rain. She offered a smile and brushed her thumb against the running mascara on my face. The back of her fingers pushed rain droplets and fresh tears away. She hugged me tightly and buried my head in her chest.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” she whispered in my ear as I cried so hard against her. I clung to the sleeves of her sweatshirt. I was in so much pain. I wanted to destroy something, to rip apart something.

“I wanna go home.” I whispered in her chest after several minutes of sitting embraced in her warm arms. I didn’t want to let go but I was tired and wet. I looked up to her so much. She was two years older but was held back in school because of asthma related problems in the first and second grade. But she was so insightful and bright in her own beautiful way. She didn’t have much scholar intelligence but she could make it, she would make it and I wanted to be there with her every step of the way.

There’s a woman standing over me stroking my hair. I can feel her fingers running through my hair gently but it still hurts my scalp.

“Hey baby.” she said smiling. I could barely make out the tears in her eyes. A man’s face appeared next to hers. A wide smile with tear-filled eyes smiled back at me too. “Mom and dad are here now.” I closed my eyes.


She drove gracefully. Not too fast but it was at a pace where if you were in a convertible, you’d feel free and safe. She drove with one hand on the wheel and the other one holding my trembling hand.

“Nick is stupid.” she said and I dropped my head and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Baby, you can’t make boys be your personality.”

“It was so embarrassing!” I yelled to her, “Everyone was starring at me!” I was so mad and emotional and I hated myself.

“Majorie, you always like to be called your middle name Nicole. You can’t stop now. You’ll tell him he’s won silently.”

“Shut up!”

“Nicky please.” she begged.

“It’s Majorie from now on.” I sobbed. By then I had inverted both my hands to my lap.

“What happened?” she asked. I swallowed hard sniffing and trying to breath.

“He told me he loved me and then he asked me if I wanted to kiss and I said yes and he grabbed my face and pulled me into his and whispered in my ear never in your dreams ugly. Then he turned around and kissed his girlfriend!”

“What?” I screamed in frustration. I wanted to kill something, break something, throw something. I found the closest thing and threw it. I grabbed my red shoe and threw it. It broke right in front of Jon on the windshield and she yelled slamming on the gas. She swerved the car to the right. There were bright lights aimed at our faces and I stopped breathing digging my fingers into the car seat. She veered left hard. We stayed in the air for what seemed like forever and then darkness came.