The Best of Both Worlds
One: ‘Till The End

As clichéd as it sounds, Danica is my best friend. I know, I know, you’re all groaning at the computer screen, but just hear me out! She’s been a dancer with us for quite a while, ever since we filmed the Backstreet’s Back video. It didn’t take long for us to start hanging out. We became friends almost instantly, and I’m pretty sure it was mostly because we share the same brand of ridiculous humour.

So, when it was time for us to audition for dancers for the Millennium tour, I quickly told her about it. And of course, since she’s pretty damn good she made it. I guess the fact that she was in a few of our videos helped as well. Either way, she’s touring with us now and I couldn’t be happier about that.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not secretly in love with her or anything like that. She’s just my friend, and it would be unbelievably awkward if we dated. Trust me, we’ve talked about it before and we’re both on the same page in that regard. We’re just friends. Besides, I couldn’t even begin to tell you the kinds of drama that would happen if she and I started going out. For one thing, she thrives off of drama. I think she should have been an actress instead of a dancer, but hey, what do I know? She loves being overly dramatic. I think she thinks her life is a TV show or something.

Plus, AJ has been after her since this tour started. As soon as he saw that she and I were buddy buddy, he tried to use that as his in. It didn’t really work, she’s hardly attracted to him. That doesn’t seem to stop him for trying, though. He hits on her every chance he gets, and she turns him down just as often. I think she thinks it’s more funny than annoying.

Other than that little hiccup, everything seemed to be progressing fine over the course of our tour. I mean, we have our little issues, who doesn’t? But for the most part everyone gets along just fine.

Of course there’s been a couple of bumps in the road, the biggest one being that my girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago. It was pretty messy, she was an opening act on our tour and she liked to blame everything on the fact that I couldn’t commit to her. Get this, she really thought that Dani and I were sleeping together. I had to laugh at that, she couldn’t be more wrong! Either way, she ended up leaving the tour in a big elaborate dramatic way (so maybe it’s all girls that are overly dramatic, and not just Dani.) and leaving us without an opening act.

I mean, it wasn’t hard for us to find another one, but jeez! How annoying. Of course, even though she was the one to leave, she won’t stop calling me and pestering me to get back together with her. How much sense does that make? I will seriously never understand girls.

So I guess other than those couple of things, life here is pretty simple.

Usually, after the concerts some of us hang out in my hotel room and randomly watch movies and that sort of thing. It’s a nice way to relax after an exhausting show. Some of the guys go out clubbing, but I can’t really get into the clubs (I’m only 19) so I usually end up getting left behind. It’s not a big deal, Dani usually hangs out with me since she can’t get into the clubs either. Lately, AJ has taken to hanging out with us as well. It doesn’t bother me so much as it bothers her. And even then it’s not so bad. It’s not like he’s constantly hitting on her, but it is all little awkward since it’s so well known that he wants her.

Where was I? Oh right, we were hanging out in my hotel room. Dani was on the bed, I was on the floor and AJ, well of course he was on the bed too.

“I hate this movie.” Dani laughed, as she popped a potato chip into her mouth. “It’s not funny.”

I rolled my eyes. That was another reason I couldn’t ever date Dani. She and I had far too different tastes in movies. While she enjoyed sappy romantic chick flicks, I was more for the stupid college humour or some sort of classic horror movie. “Did I just hear you say that Office Space isn’t funny?” I asked her, and she gave a look that said, yes, she did in fact say that.

I clasped a hand to my chest and dropped my mouth open. “I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” I said, gasping. See? I can act dramatic too!

Dani just shook her head. I guess she was used to my brand of sarcastic over the top humour by that time. “Seriously, it’s not that good. I thought it would be, and I’m really disappointed by it.”

“Maybe you have to work in an office to get it.” AJ pondered. He wasn’t staring at the screen, but watching Danica instead. Could that guy be any more obvious? I don’t get why he fawns over her when he could have any girl that he wanted, but hey, it’s his life.

“What?” Dani asked, raising an eyebrow. “You mean like, it’s only jokes you’d get if you lived that sort of life?”

AJ nodded. “Yeah. Maybe it would be funnier if that were the case.”

I just started at them. That was so not the case! “No! This movie is priceless, he is going to burn the place down, how is that only funny if you work in an office?”

Danica just shrugged. “Well, maybe it’s just not funny at all then.” She giggled.

I rolled my eyes. Best friend or not, she really could get on my nerves sometimes. The way that AJ nodded in agreement with her was bothering me too. I was pretty sure that if it had just been he and I he would have been rolling with laughter.

Regardless of the fact that the two of them seemed to despise the movie, we continued to watch it through to the end. Dani continued to lay on the bed, absentmindedly popping potato chips into her mouth, AJ kept his attention focused on her, glancing back at the TV every once in a while.

And I? Well I enjoyed the damn movie!

“I can’t believe you didn’t like it.” I said, one the credits began to scroll over the screen.

Dani laughed and threw a pillow at me. “Don’t pout so much, Nickers.” She giggled. Did I mention she’s got annoying nicknames for me too? ‘Nickers’ is just the beginning, and it’s far from the worst. “It’s not healthy for you.”

“Well it was comedy gold!” I defended my stance.

She rolled her eyes. “Relax Nick, I’m only bugging you. It wasn’t that bad of a movie. The ending was pretty good.”

AJ nodded right along with her, as I should have expected. “Yeah, it did have a good ending, I’ll give it that much.”

I shook my head, getting up from my seat on the floor to stretch out my legs a little. “Now what?” I asked, glancing at the two of them. As far as I was concered, it was still early. We were spending the night in the hotel, and didn’t have a show the next day, so I figured it was okay to stay up a bit later than usual.

AJ and Dani looked at each other and shrugged. “I’m kind of hungry…” She said, trailing off a bit.

“Yeah, I could tell.” I laughed. “You hogged the entire bag of chips.”

“I did not!” Dani shot back, glaring at me. “You could have had some, you just needed to grab them off the bed.”

“And feel your wrath? Uh, no thanks.” I teased her, it was far too easy to get under her skin.

And get under her skin I did. The next thing I knew there was a pillow flying at my face. “Hey, what was that for?” I questioned, catching the pillow and flinging it back at her.

“Never question a girls eating habits.” She replied, giving me an innocent grin.

AJ rolled his eyes. I don’t think he liked it much when Danica and I got into our little teasing bouts. In fact, I think it made him feel even more helpless about his situation with her. That wasn’t really my problem though. Dani was my friend, I could act with her how I wanted. “So…” He interrupted us. “Where did you guys want to go for food?”

I shrugged. “There’s a pizza place across the street.” I suggested. “Just let me get changed first.” I said, ushering for the two of them to leave.

AJ left in a hurry, followed closely by Dani, but not without another comment from her. “Aw Nick, what if I wanted to watch?”

I rolled my eyes. “In your dreams, baby.” I winked, shutting the door as they walked out.

It didn’t take me long to get dressed, and just as I was pulling a nicer shirt over my head, I heard my cell phone ring from its resting place on the bed. I figured it was Dani, calling to ask why I was taking so long.

To my surprise, it wasn’t. Instead, it was a name that I knew all too well.

Kels.

Reluctantly, I answered the phone. I didn’t want to deal with her at all, but I knew that if I didn’t pick up she’d just keep calling and calling and calling… “Hello?”

“Nick!” She replied, a little too enthusiastically. Well, at least this was going to be a happy phone call. Sometimes she’d call me in tears wanting to get back together, other times she’d be in a good mood, asking me about how my life was and that sort of thing. It didn’t make sense to me. “How are you?”

“Good.” I replied shortly, not really wanting to get into a conversation with her. Not that I really had a choice at this point. “How are you doing?” I asked her, only because I knew that was what she wanted to hear.

She paused for a minute and didn’t say anything. I winced, this wasn’t going to be good. “I miss you Nick.” She said quietly.

I sighed. What was I supposed to say to that? I really didn’t miss her at all. “I know you do.” I said dumbly.

“Do you miss me?”

I ran a hand through my hair. Why do girls insist on making things so difficult? She was the one who had broken up with me, so why was she the one who was so persistent with calling me all the time? “Not…really.” I answered honestly, knowing it would make her upset. But I wasn’t about to lie! No, lying would be bad.

“Not at all?” She pressed, her voice shaking a little bit. “I mean, you don’t miss me not even a little bit?”

I took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to let me off the phone unless I told her what she wanted to hear. But I really didn’t want to get back together with her, and I really didn’t miss our drama filled relationship. “I miss you… but I don’t miss us being together.” I replied… hoping she understood what I meant by that. Oh, who am I kidding? Even I didn’t understand what I meant by that!

“What the hell does that mean, Nick?” She nearly shouted into the phone. Guess she didn’t understand. Oops. “You are just impossible, Nick! Call me when you figure out what you want!” She shouted, and hung up on me.

I just stared at my phone, dumbfounded. Before I could process another thought on what had just happened, I heard a loud knocking on my door.

“Nick!” Danica shouted. “How long does it take you to change? I’m starving, let’s go already!”

I grabbed my wallet off the side table and headed towards the door, leaving my cell phone on the bed so I wouldn’t have to deal with Kels while I was out. As I opened the door, I saw Danica standing in front of me with a silly grin on her face. She shook her head and made some comment about how it took me longer than a girl to get ready.

I laughed. Such is my life.

The Best of Both Worlds
Two: Hatching a Plan

UGH! How can one man cause me so much frustration? I didn’t think it was humanly possible. However, AJ had definitely managed to drive me up the wall. I sighed to myself as I leaned my back against my hotel room door.

Dinner with Nick and AJ had been fun, but I was starting to get really annoyed with him coming on to me all the time. Sure, he and I are friends, and he’s a great guy to hang out with, but I just don’t see him that way. Really, he’s not my type at all. He likes to go out to clubs and dance and all that sort of stuff… and really, I’m not much of a club chick.

I know, it doesn’t make much sense since I’m a dancer on the tour and all, but I really do just enjoy kicking back in my room and watching a movie. Don’t get me wrong, I love being on tour with Nick and the other guys, but sometimes I can’t stand all the drama.

Like this whole AJ predicament for instance. He likes me. Like, he really likes me. He hasn’t really come out and said it, per se, but you can really tell he does with his actions and the way he treats me. He tags along whenever Nick and I hang out, and he agrees with nearly everything I say. Plus he’s always dropping little hints, talking about how he and I would be perfect together and that sort of thing.

Yeah, we wouldn’t be. And whenever I tell him that, he just winks and laughs. Am I supposed to find that attractive? I don’t know why he’s so intent on dating me, there are hundreds of girls out there who would be with him in a heartbeat. I guess I’m a bit different since I’m not really a fan, just a girl that he knows who happens to be touring with him. I suppose it’s hard for the guys to find girls who like them for who they are.

Oh, I’m getting over analytical again. Sorry, I tend to do that a lot. Where was I? Right, dinner with AJ and Nick. That actually was quite a bit of fun, save for the fact that AJ squished himself into the booth beside me. Of course, Nick was laughing at me the whole time, what a prick.

Did I forget to mention Nick is my best friend? Well, best guy friend. Every girl needs one of those, and Nick is definitely mine. He drives nuts sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade him for anyone. He and I play off each other really well, and I’m really happy to be spending my summer touring with him. Though, our close friendship has gotten us in a wee bit of trouble. Mainly, Nick’s ex girlfriend had a lot of issues with me being around so much. She didn’t seem to get the fact that Nick and I had a purely platonic relationship, and accused him of cheating on her a lot. It’s funny, had she trusted him more he probably would have spent more time with her, and less with me.

Either way, Nick ended up breaking up with her a couple of months ago, but she still calls and harasses him to get back together with her. I find it kind of amusing, Nick just finds it annoying.

“Thanks for inviting me to dinner!” Beverly said sarcastically, pulling me out of my thoughts. She’s another dancer on the tour, she and I are pretty close in age so we usually get paired in the same hotel room.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that Bev was just joking around. “You were busy talking on the phone with Joe.” I reminded her, as I joined her on the bed. Joe was Bev’s boyfriend, he’s a pilot and since she’s touring with us they rarely get to see each other.

“I know, I’m just kidding around.” She said, playfully hitting my arm. “So how was it? AJ hit you some more?”

“Of course.” I replied, flopping down and staring at the TV. Bev was engrossed in some soap opera. I didn’t get how she could watch those shows, they were such filth. “How’d you guess?”

“Seriously Dani, you just need to tell him to back off.” Bev advised. I shook my head. The girl was two years younger than me, and yet she was far more mature when it came to relationships.

“I did!” I defended myself. “But it’s not like he ever actually asks me out, he just hints at it, and I always tell him that I’m not interested.”

Bev raised an eyebrow, pushing a lock of her black hair out of her face. “Have you actually said those words?”

“No.” I admitted.

She shook her head, turning her attention back to her show. “Well then you can’t really blame him for trying.” She reasoned. That was Bev for you, she always liked to look at things objectively and rarely did she ever take anyone’s side. I guess it was a good thing… but in this case I really just wanted her to tell me I was right.

“I thought it was pretty clear I didn’t like him.” I said, continuing to stare at the TV screen.

Bev gave me a smile. “Hun, it’s not going to be clear until you tell him to his face. That, or until you get a boyfriend.”

I laughed. A boyfriend? Yeah, right. Being in a new city every day, it would be hard for me to find one. Unless I dated someone on the tour, but I really couldn’t think of anyone I had any interest in.

“You could always tell him Nick’s your boyfriend.” Bev giggled.

I thought about that for a moment. Yes, of course! That would be the answer to both of our problems. AJ would leave me alone if he thought I was dating Nick, Kels would leave Nick alone once she finally got her confirmation that Nick and I were together, and we wouldn’t have to deal with the drama of having a real relationship! It was perfect! A flawless plan! “Bev, you’re a genius!” I exclaimed.

“What?” She asked, she’d turned her attention back to the TV while I’d been thinking about the plan.

“Dating Nick! It’s the perfect plan!” I said, sitting up.

“I was joking, Dani.” Bev said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t want to date Nick.” She said seriously. That was another thing I forgot to mention. While Bev and Nick got along, she had some issues with him. They tended to butt heads a lot. Mostly I just ignored it, and usually they were able to be civil.

“I didn’t mean actually date him, more like we could tell people we’re dating and that would keep AJ off my back.” I explained.

Bev poindered that for a moment, before a grin spread across her face. “That might be funny.” She finally said.

“I know!” I laughed. It’d be great, I’d have all the perks of having a boyfriend, without having to deal with any relationship drama. I couldn’t see at all how this plan could backfire. I guess you could say I was a little, okay, a lot naïve. “This is going to be hilarious.”

“Do you think he’ll agree it to though?” Bev asked me, cocking her head to the side a little. “I mean, Nick really, really hates drama. I don’t think he’d go for that.”

I waved my hand as to dismiss what she said. “He’ll go for it. It’d work in his benefit too.”

“How?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Kels would stop pestering him.”

Bev shook her head. “Do you think she would? It might make her stalk him more.”

“I doubt it.” I replied. Kels was annoying, but she wasn’t stupid. She’d back off once she got her ‘proof’ that Nick and I had been sleeping together. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

“If you say so.” Bev said, still sounding a bit cautious. I dismissed it though. After all, what could go wrong? Nick and I were friends, and all we were going to be doing was helping each other out. A little white lie never hurt anyone.

~~~

That night, I’d had a lot of trouble sleeping. For starters, I’ve always had trouble sleeping in an unfamiliar place, and of course I was excited about my upcoming plan. After tossing and turning for about an hour, I finally gave up and decided to go get a snack from the vending machine down the hall.

Pulling my hair up into a ponytail, and putting my shoes on I quietly left the room as to not wake Bev up. As soon as I turned the corner to the snack machine, I smiled to myself. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one who was having trouble sleeping.

“Hey, Dani!” Brian smiled warmly. “What’re you doing up this late?”

I shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.” I explained.

“Me too.” He chuckled. “Those beds are uncomfortable, aren’t they?”

I nodded, though that was hardly the reason I’d been awake. “Yeah.” I agreed. “I really liked the sleep number beds they had at the last hotel.”

He laughed. Brian always seemed to put me in a good mood. He was really sweet and easy to talk to. I guess you could say I was pretty close with him too, he and Nick were such good friends, it only made sense that I’d spend a lot of time with Brian as well. “So did I.” He said, and then turned his attention back to the junk food in front of him. “So, what’s on the menu for tonight? Chips? Chocolate?”

I put my finger up to my lips, as if I were in deep thought. “Chocolate, I think.”

“Of course. I shouldn’t have even had to ask.” He winked, putting some change into the machine and bushing the button for a snickers bar. “I was looking for something a little more on the salty side, myself.” He said, selecting a bag of all dressed chips.

“Thanks, Brian.” I said, unwrapping my snickers and taking a bite.

“No problem, Dani. Though I doubt that’s going to help you sleep.” He grinned.

I shrugged. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep one way or the other anyway. “Oh well.”

“I guess I should be headed back to my room though.” He said. “See you in the morning.”

“See you tomorrow.” I replied, turning around to go back to my room. “Or, I guess today…”

He just chuckled. “Goodnight, Dani.”

“Night.” I replied dumbly, not knowing what else to say. As I walked back to my room, my mind was once again consumed with thoughts of my upcoming plan. Though this time, I was a little worried. Would Brian be happy that Nick and I were together, or would he be disappointed in me? Nick was his best friend, but he’d always made it clear he wasn’t the biggest fan of Nick’s dating habits. I sighed to myself. I guess I’d have to cross that bridge when I came to it.

What I didn’t realize, was that things were getting more complicated by the minute, and I should have just backed out before this had even started.

The Best of Both Worlds
Three: Leave It Up To Me

Why is it that when a girl breaks up with you, it’s never really over? I mean, Kels was the one who broke up with me. So logically, shouldn’t I be the one calling her every hour, pinging for her and begging for her to take me back? Apparently not. Apparently, it’s her job to call me all the time, and beg for me to take her back. But she ended it! This makes no sense.

And let me tell you, it’s fucking annoying.

The next day we were hanging around in the stadium (damned if I could tell you which city I was in… go to Kevin if you want that kind of information.) waiting for soundcheck to start. The dancers didn’t usually have to come to soundcheck, so that’s why I was pretty surprised when I saw Danica bounce through the door.

I’m not even joking with you, she really bounced through the door. Well, not literally, but she had an undeniable giddiness to her. That was Danica for you, you could tell exactly how she was feeling just by watching her. It was pretty clear that she was in a good mood that afternoon as she walked towards me, a huge grin on her face.

“What’s up, Dani?” I asked lightly, taking a swig from my water bottle. I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket, but ignored it. What was the point? I knew it was just going to be Kels again. I really should get my number changed.

But Danica just grinned and put her hands on my shoulders. “Come with me.” She said, grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the others. I reluctantly followed her, wondering what she could possibly want that couldn’t be said in front of everyone else. I swear, she was such a teenage girl sometimes.

“Okay.” She said, still smiling as she pulled me a reasonable distance away from everyone else. “I have the best plan ever.”

I gave her a strange look. “What are you talking about?”

She continued to beam as she told me her idea. Her incredibly crazy idea, I might add. “The greatest plan ever. To get AJ off my back.” She said, and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, which took me by complete surprise. “Darling.”

I stared at her, completely confused. “What?”

“You and I are going to pretend to be going out.” She finished, with a little too much enthusiasm. Remember what I told you about her being a teenage girl? This was straight out of something like Dawson’s Creek.

I can’t even begin to tell you what I thought when she said that to me. First of all, Dani and I are friends, that’s all! Second of all, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. Pretending to date someone just to get someone else off your back? How immature and petty. And of course, it would be incredibly awkward having to do coupley things with her like holding hands and whispering sweet things to each other. Just…no. “Dani, that’s ridiculous.” I said flatly.

Her expression totally changed. I think she really thought I was going to be just as excited about this as she was. “What? Why not?”

“Because!” I exclaimed, not really sure how to explain it to her. “You and I are friends, can you imagine how awkward that would be?” I said, grabbing her hand and lacing her fingers with mine, to prove my point. She looked down and bit her lip, and quickly glanced back up at me, pulling her hand away. “See?” I asked. “It’s fucking weird!”

“But Nick.” She pleaded. “It’s such a good plan! And it would be so fun.”

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. I hated to upset her, especially since she’d been so excited about this, but there was just no way I could do it. “Dani, it’s just too awkward. You and I are way too close of friends for this to ever work, and to even be believable.”

She crossed her arms and glared at me. “I need to get AJ off my back, and this is the only way I know how!” She said.

I shook my head. “Why don’t you just tell him the truth instead of playing stupid games?” I asked her. Okay, that came out a little more bitter than I’d intended, but it still made sense. All this would do would make AJ angry with me for taking his “woman”.

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” She shot back, angrily. It was pretty clear she was getting annoyed with me dismissing her “brilliant plan”. Dani doesn’t much like it when things don’t go her way. “He just won’t stop!”

I really did want to help her, and I had to admit, it did sound like fun… but with Dani? No, that would just be way too weird. “I can’t.” I said dumbly, and she just pouted. “It’s just too weird!”

But Dani persisted. “And what better way to get rid of Kels?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Okay, I have to admit that was a good point. But still not good enough for me to risk any drama happening with AJ, and it still didn’t change the fact that pretending to date Dani would be way too strange. “You know what’s a good way to get rid of Kels that doesn’t involve scheming?” I asked, and Dani just stood there waiting for my response. “This.” I said, taking my phone out of my pocket and turning it to silent. “Ignoring her phone calls also works.”

“Fine.” She said, admitting defeat. “But you have to admit, it would have been fun.”

“No, it would have been weird.” I corrected her.

“Just think about it, okay?” She asked, and glanced over at the others. She grinned a little when she noticed AJ was watching us. “And let me know.” With that, she kissed me on the cheek once again and walked off with a smirk on her face.

What the hell? Did she actually just do that, did she just put her plan into action without my consent? I shook my head and walked back to my seat, but before I could ignore the questions by listening to my discman, AJ was already asking them.

“What was that all about?” He prodded, and I took in a deep breath. I really wasn’t sure what to do or say.

“Nothing.” I said, giving him a fake smile. “Don’t worry about it.” And with that, I slipped my earphones on and tried to forget about Dani’s insane plan.

~~~

The concert went on without incident. Dani doesn’t dance with me, she dances with Brian but every so often I’d catch her eye and she’d grin or wink at me. I have got to tell you, it is fucking weird to see your best friend making passes at you like that. Yeah, Dani’s a chick and all, but still! She’s my friend, it’s weird as hell.

After the show, we ran straight to the tour busses as usual. Hanging around backstage was never an option, we were running for the busses before the band had even stopped playing. By the time the lights came on in the stadium, we were already back at the hotel. I have to hand it to management, they were pretty good at keeping us safe from the crazy fans.

Of course once we were back at the hotel, that was a different stop all together. We always had a floor to ourselves, but they didn’t do the greatest job of keeping people off of it. They usually announced a different hotel than we were going to be at, which worked for keeping fans away. It didn’t work quite so well for other people.

Like crazy ex girlfriends, for example.

I was the first one off the bus and into the hotel, once again, that was a common occurrence. I hated being on the bus, and since I was the most popular (not that I like to brag or anything… okay, well actually I do.) I took priority.

Stepping off the elevator, I walked towards my room and came face to face with the exact person I didn’t want to see.

Kels.

“Nick!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around my neck. I rolled my eyes. What the hell was with her? Was she never going to give up? “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Of course I’m here.” I said, pushing her off me. “It’s my God damn hotel room, Kels!”

She giggled and twirled a piece of hair around her finger. God, kill me now. Could she be trying any harder to seduce me? No way in hell that was going to happen! “I know that. I’ve missed you, Nicky.”

I just shook my head. “Kels, you need to go.” I said sternly.

But she didn’t budge. This was getting way out of hand. “I’m not going anywhere until you take me back.” She said, with just as much stubbornness.

“No.” I said, starting to get angry. “There is no way that is ever going to happen. You and I are over. Done.” I surprised even myself a little with that. I mean, as much of a crazy bitch that Kels is, she’s still hot as hell. And she was beginning to make it hard for me to resist.

She put her hands on her hips, and flipped her bleached blonde hair over her shoulder. “Give me one good reason.” She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

There were a million good reasons. She was a psychotic untrusting bitch, for starters. We fought all the time, we didn’t have anything in common except for music, and even that didn’t count because her career was a complete joke. Sure, there were a million things I could have said, but damned if I could think of one at that moment as she looked at me, waiting for an answer. Ignoring my phone only worked, well, when she was calling me. But here she was, standing right in front of me, begging for me to take her back. I sucked at situations like this.

I don’t know why, maybe it was fate, or maybe it was just really good timing. But at that exact moment, Danica stepped off the elevator and started walking towards us. She had a questioning look on her face, and I could tell she was just as (if not more) surprised to see Kels as I had been.

And at that moment, the only thing I could think of that would get Kels away from me popped in to my head.

“Because.” I said, wrapping my arm around Danica’s shoulders and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “I’m with Dani now.”

The Best of Both Worlds
Four: Girlfriend

Okay, I was not expecting that. I had thought that Nick didn’t want anything to do with my plan? Of course, I guess his opinion changed pretty quickly once he saw Kels standing there. Nick really doesn’t know how to handle girls at all. But that was pretty amusing. I swear Kels stood there for a good thirty seconds with her mouth wide open, paralyzed with shock.

That is, until she started screeching at Nick about how she knew we were fucking the whole time, how she really couldn’t trust him and how this would be the last time he would ever hear from her. (I’ll believe that when I see it.) The entire time Nick just stood there listening to her, tightening his grip around my shoulders. At one point I gave Kels a smug look and I thought she was going to spit in my face.

After what seemed like forever, she finally left in a big huff. It was pretty hilarious, and worked out really well.

“Did you see the look on her face?” Nick laughed as the two of us sat in his hotel room, lounging around on the king sized bed with too much Burger King food. “I mean, she just looked shocked.”

I nodded and took the last bite of my Whopper. “Especially for someone who was so convinced that we were sneaking around behind her back.” I giggled. “I mean come on, she should have known better!” I said sarcastically.

Nick just shook his head as he took a sip of his coke. “I have to say, that was a pretty good idea.” He admitted, glancing up at me.

I just grinned. “I know it was.” I said, feeling pretty proud of how well that had worked. If it had gone over so well with Kels, just imagine how it was going to work on everyone else! “Admit it, I’m awesome.”

Nick laughed. “Okay fine, you’re awesome.” He said, rolling his eyes. “That did work pretty well.”

I reached into the bag and pulled out my box of mozza sticks. I freaking love mozza sticks, I lived off of them during that tour. Uh, anyway. “And it wasn’t at all awkward!” I pointed out.

Nick didn’t really agree with that. “Oh, it was still very awkward.” He said. “But I guess it’ll get less awkward. It’s going to have to, right?”

“Well yeah.” I replied, pulling away from Nick as he tried to steal one of my mozza sticks. “Especially if we want to be believable.” I explained. “Back off, get your own!”

Nick stuck out his tongue and again tried to steal one of my sticks. This time I wasn’t so quick and he was able to grab it and shove it into his mouth before I even knew what was going on. “Hey!” I exclaimed, taking a bite out of his burger in retaliation.

“You should have been quicker, Dani.” Was his only reply, along with a cheesy grin. That boy drove me up the wall.

“You shouldn't be stealing my food!” I shot back, but it was no use. Nick had this boyish innocence about him, allowing him to get away with anything. I hated that.

“Stolen food tastes better.” Nick reasoned, shrugging his shoulders, and taking yet another one of my mozza sticks. Okay, I really should have seen that one coming. “You're not even trying anymore.”

“I give up.” I said, handing the box to him and deciding to just continue drinking my milkshake. “You can have them.”

“Well that's no fun.” He said, but of course he ate them anyway.

Looking over at the clock, I noticed it was getting a bit late. Plus, I hadn't slept at all the night before so I was pretty tired at that point. Stretching and hopping off the bed, I gathered up my garbage and turned to leave. “I'm going back to my room.”

Nick just raised an eyebrow. “Why? We're dating now, shouldn't you stay in my room?” He asked with a wink. That guy is too smooth for his own good, no wonder he gets all the chicks. Well, I guess being a Backstreet Boy helps too.

“I am not having sex with you, Nick.” I said firmly, folding my arms over my chest. Yeah the plan was fun to fool other people with, but there was no way I was going that far. Now that would have been awkward.

Nick rolled his eyes. “I just meant you could sleep here. People would see you leaving my room tomorrow morning. It would be more believable that way.” He said. Of course! How could I have not thought of that? The plan!

“Yes!” I exclaimed, clapping my hands together. “You're right!” It was pretty exciting to me that Nick was starting to get into the plan. I knew he'd come around! “But no funny business.”

“Dani, I find it awkward holding hands with you. As hot as you are, it would be way too weird.” He said, laughing. “Now go get your stuff from your hotel room and meet me back here, babe.”

I grinned, and quickly made my way down the hall to retrieve my pajamas from my hotel room. Upon entering the room, I found Bev laying on her bed reading a magazine. “Hey.” She said. “Where have you been?”

“Nick's room.” I replied quickly, as I started to change.

“Oh?” She asked, suddenly intrigued. “So I take it the plan is being put into action?”

“Yup!” I said excitedly. “I'm spending the night there.”

Bev gave me a strange look. “I thought this was just fake.” She said, skeptically. Trust her to always analyze everything.

“It is.” I explained. “It's so people see me leaving his room tomorrow morning.”

“Oh.” Bev replied, becoming uninterested once again and returning to reading her magazine. “Well, kick him in the balls if he tries anything.”

“Trust me, he won't.” I laughed as I left the room. I shuddered a little as I thought about having sex with Nick. Yeah, that really wouldn't be the best idea in the world.

But I can't say I wasn't completely giddy as I nearly ran back to Nick's hotel room. I mean really, how great was this? Nick had actually decided to go along with my plan, and was even enthusiastic about it! I was sure it would only lead to good things. Kels would stop bothering Nick and AJ would see that he and I just weren't going to happen. As far as I could see, it was totally flawless.

“There's only one bed in this room.” Nick pointed out as I crawled under the covers upon my return to his room.

“It's a king sized bed, Nick.” I said, laying down and closing my eyes. “Trust me, it's big enough that I won't grope you accidentally in my sleep.”

“Oh?” He asked, climbing into the bed. I'd say he was next to me, but that bed was so huge it was like we were miles apart. Definitely a good thing. “What if I want you to grope me?”

“Oh my God, Nick.” I said, he really was a piece of work. “One minute you're saying how awkward it would be, the next minute you're telling me you want me to grope you. Make up your mind!” I laughed.

“Oh come on, we're going to have to flirt like this around everyone else.” He said, flicking off the light. “Lighten up, this was your idea.”

Yeah, that was true. But still, it was weird for him to be making passes at me! This was definitely going to take some getting used to. But, being as tired as I was, I dismissed it and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

The next morning was probably one of the most hilarious moments of my life. Nick was up and dressed before I was even awake. And as we walked hand in hand to my hotel room, the only person who noticed was Kevin.

He didn't say anything, but the look on his face was worth all the awkwardness I'd gone through the night before. He seemed pretty shocked at first, but then just continued on his way. I was sure he'd have words with Nick later, and I couldn't wait for Nick to tell me what they were.

Nick and I continued this little charade until we were in the elevator, which thankfully was empty.

“Oh God, did you see Kevin's face?” I laughed, immediately dropping Nick's hand. “Priceless.”

“I can just hear him now.” Nick said, laughing just as hard as I was. “You'd better be careful with her, Nick. If you date every girl on the tour, by the end we're going to have none left.”

I could barely contain my laughter as the elevator door opened to let out out into the lobby. Taking hold of Nick's hand again, I tried to compose myself. We stepped outside and waited to board the busses. Instead of going over to the other dancers like I usually did at that time, I stayed with Nick as he listened to his itinerary for the day.

And the entire time I stood there with his fingers laced with mine, I couldn't help but notice AJ stealing glances at us every chance he got. That also made it worth it. Oh to be a fly on the wall at soundcheck that afternoon! Of course, there was no way I could go, because then they wouldn't talk about me. (Those boys were such teenage girls when it came to gossip, I swear.) I knew Nick would tell me everything later, though.

“Danica, your bus is leaving.” Howie pointed out to me, motioning over to the bus I usually spent the day on. I figured Bev must have told them I'd be riding with Nick that day and it was cool to leave without me.

“Oh that's okay.” I grinned, giving Nick a kiss on the cheek. Ugh, awkward much? I have to say, I was a pretty good actress! “I'm going to stay with Nick on his bus.”

You should have seen the look on AJ's face! Well, all their faces really. But AJ was the best. Oh man, this was the best plan I'd ever come up with.

“That okay with you, Nick?” Denise asked him.

“Of course it's okay with me.” Nick replied, letting go of my hand and draping his arm around my shoulders. “Why wouldn't I want my girlfriend to go on my bus with me?”

And there it was, the million dollar word. If any of them had been unsure before, that had just confirmed it for them. Oh, I could not wait to hear what they were going to say to him later!

“Okay, whatever you want.” She said dismissively. “Let's get going then.” She said, and everyone quickly boarded their own busses.

“You have to tell me everything they say to you.” I said excitedly once nick and I were on his bus. “And don't leave anything out.” I instructed. This was too good to be true.

“I will.” Nick nodded, flopping down on the couch. “It was your idea after all.”

“And a good one at that.” I grinned, feeling incredibly proud of myself. This was shaping up to be a rather interesting tour.

“Yeah, it was pretty good.” Nick laughed. “So what are we watching?” He asked, getting up and rummaging through the pile of movies on the floor of his bus.

“Can't Hardly Wait?” I suggested. What can I say? I'm a typical girl, I love movies like that.

Of course Nick being a typical guy, rolled his eyes. But hey, hey owned the movie, so who was he to judge. “Fine, girlfriend.”

“Thanks, boyfriend.” I grinned as Nick put the movie in and sat down on the other couch.

The Best of Both Worlds
Five: Scandalicious

Okay, as much as I really wasn’t into Dani’s idea at first I have to hand it to her, it did work really well for getting Kels off my back. What kind of crazy bitch just randomly shows up at your hotel room like that anyway? And how did she manage to get past security? Man, she’s nuts. The plus side to that is, Kels hasn’t phoned me or tried to contact me at all since that day. That’s pretty awesome, and a pretty good outcome to her plan!

I mean, the day is still young, but Kels has usually phoned me twice by now, and nothing! You have no idea how much of a relief that is. Thank God I am finally done having to deal with her drama. Now if only AJ could get it through his head that he and Danica are never going to get together, everything would wrap up very neatly!

Of course, things never seem to go the way I want them to. And AJ really wasn’t at all pleased about me and Dani hooking up. He hadn’t talked to me about it yet, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was going to be having words with me about this later. Oh well, maybe it would give him the incentive he needed to get over her.

Or maybe he’d kick the shit out of me. Either way, it was shaping up to be a very interesting Soundcheck.

The entire bus ride to the next city was pretty uneventful. All we did was watch movies and occasionally laugh about the events of that morning. I won’t bore you with the details of that.

Once we got there it was a different story. Danica was right back to carefully planning our next move. It was kind of cute, how into this whole thing she was. Maybe she was having too much fun with it, but at least it was something to keep her entertained on an otherwise boring and hectic tour. That, and it really did benefit me so I couldn’t complain.

“I can’t go into Soundcheck with you.” She said, as the bus turned to park inside the stadium.

I was expecting that much. I’m oblivious, but I like to think I can be on the ball sometimes. “I know.”

“But isn’t that going to look suspicious?” She asked me, thinking about that for a moment. “I mean, you and I were all gushy before we left, and I came on your bus, and now we’re not even going to go into Soundcheck together?”

Yeah, she was right about that, something wouldn’t seem right. “Well, there are a million reasons why you wouldn’t be there. If they ask I’ll just tell them you were having girl talk with Bev or something.” I shrugged. That’s what girls did, right? When one of them got a new boyfriend, they talked about him forever?

Apparently I was right, because Danica clapped her hands together in excitement. “Yeah! That’s a great idea!” She exclaimed. “Okay, so you’ll go into Soundcheck, AJ will grill you, and then later you’ll tell me everything.” She said, nodding her head quickly. “Oh! He’s going to ask you how we got together… how did we get together?”

I shrugged. I guess it would make sense for us to have a story for that. “Um, I’ll just say that last night after the concert you and I were hanging out in my room… and I made a move and you didn’t stop it.”

She seemed to agree with that. “Yeah, and of course one thing led to another, and we ended up telling each other that we’d liked each other forever…”

I rolled my eyes. “That sounds so cheesy, can’t I just tell them we had sex and be done with it?” A big love confession really wasn’t my style, and AJ would see right through that.

“No!” She nearly shouted. “If we just did it, then things would be all awkward and weird between us. Just tell them it was different because it was me and that you’re in love with me.”

I sighed and put my head in my hands. She really didn’t get it. “Dani, guys don’t talk about stuff like that. Especially not with each other.”

She pouted, but seemed to accept what I was saying. “Fine, tell them that we just did it then. But that’s not what I’m going to tell them when they ask me.” She warned.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Tell them all that mushy stuff, but that’s your job, not mine. If I said anything to AJ other than ‘yeah I totally scored’ he’s going to know that something’s up.” I told her, knowing that she probably still didn’t completely understand what I was trying to say.

By them, it was time to exit the bus and for me to go meet up with the others. “Oh! One more thing.” She said. “I’m not kissing you. The cheek is fine, but…”

I wrinkled my nose. As much as it would make things look that much more fake, I could agree with her on that. “Yeah, too weird.”

“Way too weird.” She nodded.

With our plan in motion, we quickly exited the bus and made our way over to the entrance where the others were standing. Danica grinned at me, giving me a tight huge before quickly kissing me on the cheek and scampering off to meet the other girls. I watched her for a couple of seconds and then quickly turned my attention to Kevin who was talking about our schedule. Not that I was really paying attention to him, I was mostly amusing myself with the annoyed look on AJs face.

And then something weird happened. As we all walked into the stadium, Brian came up to me and started making some small talk. Now I know what you’re thinking, what weird about that? Nothing, it was what came after the small talk that was strange.

“Hey Nick, can I ask you something?” He asked. That was strange in itself, he never asks me if he can ask me something, he just starts talking.

“Sure.” I replied, giving him a bit of a weird look. He looked pretty uncomfortable. What was going on?

“I was just wondering how long you and Dani have been official for.” He started, looking down at the ground, and the quickly looking back up at me. “I mean, has this been going on for a while and you’re just telling people now, or…?”

I was kind of left speechless by that question. I hadn’t expected Brian of all people to really care about the situation. “No, we just made it official last night.” I told him. Which wasn’t a total lie… we had just decided to go ahead with the plan the night before.

“Oh.” Was all he said. “So you’re pretty serious about her?” He asked, after a couple of seconds of silence.

“Uh…yeah.” I replied, not really knowing how to answer that. I mean, I guess I was supposed to show them it wasn’t just a fling, right?

“Okay. Good luck to you guys then.” He smiled, and quickly ran off to the other side of the stage, suddenly becoming really interested in the set up of the instruments.

I didn’t have much time to contemplate what had just happened, because as soon as Brian wandered off, AJ was up in my face. I’m not even exaggerating either, he really was going ape shit. If only Dani could have seen it!

“You’re a dead man, Carter!” He shouted, and I whirled around. Where were the others? AJ and I were the only ones left on the stage, save for the couple of roadies that were setting up.

“Back off, J.” I said sternly, but of course that didn’t help anything.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? You knew that I liked her, have you never heard of bros before hoes?” He shouted, and I just rolled my eyes. I really should have known that he was going to react that way, and I really couldn’t care less… but I guess I had to play the part.

“It was clear that she didn’t like you!” I shouted back, standing over him. Heh, that was one advantage I had! AJ might be tougher, but I’ll always be taller. “What more did she need to do? And don’t even start with your bros before hoes bullshit, because I liked her too, so if you had gone out with her that would have broken your stupid rule anyway!”

“Fuck off, no one here knew that you liked her.” AJ snarled, not intimidated by me at all. “I have been trying to get with her all tour long, does that mean nothing to you?” He continued shouting. Why had no one come to see what was going on yet? Where the hell was Kevin?

“It means nothing to her!” I yelled. “She doesn’t care that you like her, so just get over it and go find a groupie to fuck.”

“That’s your area, not mine.” He said, and it was eerily calm compared to the rest of the conversation. “I hope Dani doesn’t get too upset when you cheat on her.” He said smugly.

That was all it took to make my blood boil. Okay, so I wasn’t the most faithful boyfriend in the world, but who the hell was AJ to point that out? Stupidly, I lunged at him, nearly punching him in the face.

And I would have hit him too, if my fist hadn’t collided with Kevin’s hand. Why did he pick that exact moment to show up?!

“What the hell, Nick?” He growled, glaring at me. This was not good. “Why would you think it would be a smart idea to give AJ a black eye right before a show?”

Nope, not good at all. “He was giving me shit about Danica.” I defended myself.

Kevin didn’t seem at all impressed with that answer. “I don’t care.” He said. “Quit fighting and act your age, not your shoe size.” He said angrily. “And that goes for you too.” He said, looking in AJs direction. With a final glare in both our directions, he dropped my hand and walked off.

“Bros before hoes dude.” AJ said as if to remind me. Not like I needed it at all, and I was sure this wasn’t the end of it.

“Shut up AJ, Danica can date who she wants.” I said calmly, before leaving to go to my dressing room. That had gone a little better than I had expected it to, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. I figured there was more drama to follow. The problem was, I wasn’t prepared at all for exactly how bad things were about to get.

The Best of Both Worlds
Six: Keeping It Inside Is Killing Me

Let me start off by saying that when I came up with this plan, I never really intended to hurt anyone. I mean, I knew it was going to piss off Kels. But she deserved that, she was irritating Nick to no end, plus she suspected that the two of us were together anyway. I knew it was also going to piss off AJ, but it served him right. I’d already told him I wasn’t interested, and he still wasn’t getting the hint.

So desperate times called for desperate measures. That was what I kept telling myself, even though I knew deep down that this wasn’t the best idea ever. That there was definitely potential for it to blow up in my face. That I might actually really end up hurting someone.

Wow, melodramatic much, Dani? Okay, let’s back up here.

I had just left Nick to go rejoin Bev and the others so he could enjoy his Soundcheck in peace. Well, not exactly in peace. Okay, so he could deal with the drama that would unfold. I was walking towards the hotel, and at that moment Brian came jogging up behind me. I found that to be kind of strange, since quite obviously he was supposed to be at the Soundcheck with the Nick and the others.

“Hey Brian, what’s up?” I asked him, somewhat confused. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the Soundcheck?”

“Yeah.” He said, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read. “I got a free pass on it for today.”

“What? Why?” That didn’t make much sense, they usually weren’t supposed to skip Soundcheck unless it was something important. In fact, over the course of the tour so far I’d only ever seen Nick skip it once, and boy did he ever get in shit for it.

He took a deep breath. “There’s too much going on in my head right now. Do you mind if we go somewhere to talk, just the two of us?”

That should have been another warning sign for me. Brian was usually upbeat, but that day he just seemed depressed and overly serious. “Yeah, sure.” I replied. “We can go back to my hotel room if you want.”

And that was what we did. It wasn’t a long walk to the hotel from the stadium, in fact it was relatively close and thankfully Brian didn’t get recognized on the way there. I might add, it was also a very silent walk back to the hotel. I tried to make some small talk but it wasn’t much use.

It wasn’t until we got back into the room that he started talking. And boy, did he talk. If I’d had any idea what he was going to say, I probably could have prepared myself. I sat down cross legged on the bed, and looked at him, waiting for what he could possibly have to say.

“You’re going to hate me, Dani.” He said slowly, not making eye contact with me.

I stared at him strangely. “I could never hate you. You’re one of my best friends.” I told him. And that was the truth, I’d always considered us to be really close. He still wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and that was when I noticed his hands were shaking. What was going on?

“When did you and Nick get together?” He asked me, and I drew in a breath. That was what this was about?

“Why?” I asked, wondering what that had to do with anything.

“Because.” He started, finally looking up from his hands. “Here I am, pining over you, and he just swoops in and takes you.”

Whoa. What? Did he just say that? Did Brian actually tell me that he’d been pining for me? That didn’t make any sense.

Yet the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. He was always quick to hang out with us, he was always cheerful whenever I was around, he’d always treated me nicely. But I’d just thought those were aspects of his personality. Of course, our friendship had only become stronger since he’d broken up with his girlfriend near the beginning of the tour, but that made sense. Of course he’d have more time to spend with us – with me – when he was single, right?

Oh God, how could I have been so blind to that?

“Pining over me?” I repeated, not sure of what else I could say.

He sighed, and looked down at his hands again. “Yes, pining over you.”

“For how long?” I asked cautiously.

“Since the beginning of the tour. I mean, I always thought you were cute, but it only got worse as I got to know you and we became friends.”

Since the beginning of the tour? What the hell? How had I not figured that out!? For that matter, why had anyone else not figured it out? Or had they and they’d just neglected to say anything?

“But you were going out with Sam.” I pointed out.

He nodded. “Yeah, I know. But you know that was going downhill anyway, and the fact that I was falling for you didn’t exactly help things.”

Suffice to say, I was in complete and total shock. It took me getting together with Nick – his best friend – for all of this to come out? Why hadn’t he told me sooner? That would have definitely solved all of our problems! Well… maybe. I’d never once thought about Brian and I getting together, and as hard as I tried while he was confessing all of this to me, I just couldn’t. It wasn’t possible for me to see him like that. I know, I’m crazy right? Brian Littrell gives me a love confession and the first thing I think of is how to let him down easy. The teenyboppers would never understand.

“Brian… I don’t know what to say.” That much was true, I really didn’t. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He just shrugged. “I didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. I didn’t even think it was a good idea. I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship, or your friendship with Nick.”

I winced. Nick… right. That was what had caused this. Should I have told Brian Nick and I were just for show? No, no I couldn’t do that. There was no way I could destroy my perfect plan, especially when it was working so well! Plus I had to admit… I enjoyed having Nick as my fake boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, Brian.” I didn’t know what else I could say. I felt like a jerk for not telling him right then that Nick and I weren’t even together for real.

“It’s not your fault.” He said, giving me a slight smile. If only that smile could make me melt, that would have made this so much easier. “There’s just a few things I need to know.”

“Anything.” I replied, but I really wasn’t looking forward to answering his questions and having to lie to him.

“How did you and Nick hook up?”

I bit my lip. “He kissed me yesterday… and I didn’t stop him. One thing led to another and…” I trailed off, letting him mentally fill in the rest. God, I felt like a horrible person.

He held up his hand. “That’s all I need to hear about that. I figured that’s what happened, I’ve thought that Nick liked you for a long time.”

If I hadn’t been so emotionally lost, I probably would have cracked up upon hearing that. Dude, Nick did not like me in that way. And I was sure he found the concept of any sort of sexual activity with me totally revolting.

“Right.” I said, not really knowing what else I could add.

He continued with his questions, I swear it was like a freaking interrogation session. “Why Nick?”

That was a good question. How was I supposed to think up some reasons I wanted to be with Nick when I didn’t even want to be with him in the first place? I racked my brain pretty quickly for something, anything that would convince Brian I was totally hopelessly in love with Nick.

“I… he makes me laugh.” I started, still trying to think of something. “We have a lot in common, and we play off each other really well. He also knows me better than most people do, I can really be myself around him.” Oh God, that was such a boring and generic answer.

But Brian seemed to accept it. “Why not me?”

I could have died right there.

“I…can’t.” I stammered. How do you tell someone that you don’t want to be with them, especially when you don’t even know why yourself? “I just… don’t.”

“Danica, you need to tell me. It’s the only way I’ll get over it.”

But there was no reason not to. Except for the fact that I was fake dating his best friend. This was getting too complicated for my mind to handle. “I can’t do this anymore.” I said, standing up and beginning to pace around the room. I had to tell him.

His face just softened. “I’m sorry, Dani. I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Yes, yes you should have! It’s good that I know… you can’t keep all of that inside.” I reassured him, even though I was having doubts about that myself. “But I need to tell you the truth.”

“The truth?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “About what?”

“Nick and I aren’t really together.” I blurted out, and then quickly covered my face with my hands. “You’re going to hate me.”

“Wait… what?” He looked even more confused than I had felt at the beginning of the conversation.

“We’re not really going out.” I repeated. “It’s totally fake. I’m sorry… you must think I’m nuts.”

He only shook his head. “No, it actually makes me feel better, as weird as that is.”

I guess that made sense. To find out that the girl you like isn’t actually dating your best friend would put you in a pretty good mood. I think. “Please don’t tell anyone.” I pleaded, sitting back down on the bed. “Our plan is working so well, it’s keeping Kels and AJ away from us.”

“I won’t tell anyone…” He said, but I could tell he wasn’t really approving of our plan. Why would he be? Nick and I were lying to everyone and we’d just caused him a ton of emotional stress. “But promise me something.”

“Anything.” I said, a little too quickly. I really was desperate to be able to continue on with my plan.

“Don’t rule out the idea of us just because you’re pretending to be dating Nick.” He said, looking a little hopeful.

I really had no idea what to do about that, and I had no idea how I felt. Gulping, I nodded. “I won’t… but I just need some time to think. I really wasn’t expecting all of this.”

“I know.” He replied.

After that, a really uncomfortable silence filled the room. I didn’t know what to say to him, what could I say? I had no answers, and I couldn’t just jump into anything with him without thinking about how I really felt. Especially since I hadn’t yet talked to Nick about it. Because of course entering a real relationship with Brian meant ending my fake relationship with Nick. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that.

“I’m going to head back to the arena.” Brian said, giving me one final look before leaving my room. “See you at the show tonight, Dani.”

“Bye.” I replied dumbly, not knowing what else to say. Dancing with him that night sure was going to be awkward. I could only hope that this wouldn’t complicate things too much. This plan of mine was turning out to be a little more stress than I had bargained for, and I wondered if maybe it would have just been easier to continue enduring AJs passes at me. That certainly had been a lot less stress than this was shaping up to be.

The Best of Both Worlds
Seven: On the Rise

What I didn’t realize at the time was that, while AJ was screaming at me about Dani, Brian was pouring his heart out to her. That was definitely something I wouldn’t have been able to predict. I mean, Brian had never had any trouble with girls, and suddenly he’s got this huge thing for Dani and hadn’t been able to tell her about it?

And yet, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Danica was my best friend, so of course Brian wouldn’t want to come between us. He’d also just broken up with his girlfriend, so it made sense that he’d want some time before going after someone else.

And naturally, Dani just had to let me know about this as soon as humanly possible. She didn’t have the chance to talk to me before the concert since I was in Soundcheck and then had radio interviews all afternoon.

Keeping up with our little charade, Dani once again joined me on my bus on the way to the hotel. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, as she seemed to be even more aloof than usual. Don’t get me wrong, she was usually off in space somewhere, but that night was especially bad. She just sat quietly, fiddling with her fingers.

“Dani, you okay?” I asked cautiously, but I really only wanted her to answer with the response that yes, she was fine. I had no idea how to deal with girls when they got all over emotional and shit.

But one look at me and I knew that there was something wrong. Dammit. “No.” She said quietly.

What the hell was I supposed to say? “You want to talk about it?” I asked cautiously. Please God, let her say no.

But she didn’t say no. She just sighed and looked out the window, collecting her thoughts or something. She had been fine that morning, what could have possibly gone wrong between now and then?

“We have a problem.” She said, still looking out the window.

I raised my eyebrow. Of course there was a problem, did she really expect this to go on without some sort of snag? Crap. “Which would be?”

“Brian’s in love with me.” She explained, her voice was so quiet I could hardly even hear her, and I wasn’t even sure if I did correctly.

“What?”

“Brian.” She said again. “Is in love with me.”

It took me a second to process that. Brian was in love with her? How could that be possible, and why was this only just coming out now?

Oh, because he thought she was with me. Right.

“Well, just tell him the truth.” I reasoned.

“I did.” She replied, looking at me and giving a slight nod. “Of course I did!” She went off, here we go. She was going to start flipping out and I was going to have to deal with it. Couldn’t she have waited until she was with Bev? Ugh.

“I had to tell him!” She continued. Oh well, this wasn’t so bad. She just babbled on and I listened to it. “I didn’t want to hurt him… I didn’t want to hurt anyone! Now what are we supposed to do?!” She cried, dramatically throwing her head into her hands.

“Well, this isn’t that big of a problem, Dani.” I said, causing her to glare at me. Well it wasn’t! “Brian knows it was a plan… so no harm done. He’s fine.” I shrugged.

“It isn’t fine! He’s in love with me!”

I thought about that for a second. “Well, the reason you’re pretending to date me is to get rid of AJ, right?”

She nodded her head, as if that were obvious. “And to help you get rid of Kels.”

“Right.” I replied. “But Kels is gone, and she’s probably not coming back. So that worked out.” I explained. “So it doesn’t really matter who you’re dating to get AJ off your back. You could start dating Brian for real, and it would have the same effect.”

She sighed. What? Why wouldn’t that work? “I don’t know…”

“Why not?” I asked a little impatiently. That would work perfectly! Let Brian deal with AJ’s outbursts, I’d be free!

“I don’t like him that way.” She said sadly, looking at her feet.

I was a little shocked by that. She didn’t like him… why the hell not? As far as I knew, they got along just fine. Brian would be a good boyfriend to her, just like he had been to every other girl I’d seen him with. But Dani just sat there, looking confused and worried. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and…

“Dani, you don’t like me for real, do you?” I asked her suddenly. Oh please don’t let that be it.

Thankfully, it wasn’t. Dani gave me a strange look and that time she made definite eye contact. “No, Nick.” She said, rolling her eyes. “God, can you imagine how weird that would be? Fake is awkward enough for me, thanks.”

“Good.” I said, feeling relieved. I don’t know how I would have reacted had that been the case. “Look, I’ll talk to Brian, okay?”

She seemed happy about that, it was the first time I’d seen her smile since we’d gotten on the bus. “Thanks, Nick.”

~~~

I didn’t even know what I was supposed to say to Brian. I sucked at serious conversations. Maybe I should have told Kevin and let him deal with it.

No, that wouldn’t have been a good idea. Kevin would have reamed me out for the whole fake relationship with Dani and causing a bunch of unnecessary stress. Definitely not a good idea. I guess I’d just have to do this without Kevin’s help.

Reluctantly, I knocked on Brian’s hotel room door. He answered right away, and by looking at him you couldn’t tell that anything was wrong. He greeted me with the same warm smile that he always did.

“Hey Nick.” He said, ushering me into his room. “What’s up?”

“Um…” I said, hoping he would start the conversation.

He said down on the bed and gave me a knowing look. Thank God Brian was good in awkward situations like this, because I really sucked. I can’t stress that enough. “You’re here to talk to me about Dani, aren’t you?”

Man, I did not want to be having this conversation. I held up my hands as if to admit defeat. “Dude, you can have her. I swear I was just pretending to go out with her to stop AJ from bugging her.”

Pissing AJ off was one thing, I knew he was going to be mad. But there was no way I wanted to piss Brian off. I guess I respected him more or something. I knew he’d treat Dani well if they got together, but AJ and I had serious relationship issues. Plus I knew AJ would just yell at me and he’d be done. But if I made Brian mad… he’d be hurt for weeks.

So I just continued to ramble. “The entire plan was her idea, I didn’t even want to go along with it in the first place! The only reason I did was because Kels showed up and I didn’t know how else to get rid of her… I mean it worked really well, but still, all her idea.”

But instead of getting upset, he just laughed. What? It wasn’t funny! “Relax, Nick.” He said.

“Really Brian, I don’t want her. She doesn’t want me. Go after her, you guys would be great together. She deserves a good boyfriend like you, she’s really…”

“Sweet and easygoing?” He offered.

I raised an eyebrow. “Not exactly the words I would use, but she’d be a good girlfriend. She’s really thoughtful and cute.” And he’d be able to deal with her being all overdramatic and girly, but there was no way I was going to say that.

Brian nodded. “Yeah, you’re right about that. You’d really be okay if she and I got together?”

“Trust me, Dani needs a good boyfriend.” I assured him, and then I shook my head. “Now, can we cut it out with the girl talk? I’m ready to kick your ass at Mario Kart.”

Brian laughed, and just like that, things were normal between us again. I never did understand how or why girls dragged their drama on and on.

The Best of Both Worlds
Eight: Drawn to the Fire

“There is no way you’re getting me on that roller coaster, Nick.” I said seriously, crossing my arms over my chest. I’d never been much of a fan of theme park rides, and the twists and turns of this one tracked contraption were no exception.

“Come on, Dani!” He persuaded, trying to pry my arms away from their resting space. That boy just didn’t give up. But I was equally as stubborn and wouldn’t budge. I tried to hold as firm as I could by seriously looking at the ground and biting my lip

But one look at Nick, his face pleading me for me to just sit beside him on that stupid ride and I was finished. Damn him and his charm! “Fine.” I mumbled, giving in to him. “I’ll go on the stupid ride with you. But you’d better hold my hand the entire way.” I grinned.

You should’ve seen the way his face lit up when I said that to him. “Yeah, whatever!” He said, pulling us both in line to meet what I was sure to be my ultimate fate. Did I mention I hate roller coasters? Because I really do.

“I only do it because I love you.” I flirted, blowing him a kiss.’

“Of course you do.” Nick laughed, pulling me closer to him as we waited in the line.

“No, Nick, I really do.” I said, trying as best I could to keep a straight face.

You should have seen the look he gave me, priceless! “Really?” He asked in all seriousness.

I burst out laughing. “No!” As much as I hate roller coasters, I love messing with Nick. “But that’s what you get for dragging me on all these stupid rides.”

You’re probably wondering what Nick and I were doing puttering around an amusement park. Let me back up a little here.

A couple of days after the whole Brian fiasco, the boys had a very rare day off. This was of course because we’d made a stop in Lexington, which was Brian’s and Kevin’s hometown. Naturally, those two were off visiting their family. Howie and AJ were off doing – what else? Shopping, of course.

Which left Nick to his own devices. Bev and Joe had invited me to accompany them to Six Flags, and when Nick heard about this, he’d jumped on the idea. I wasn’t so keen on it, but I figured it’d give us something to do. Besides, what kind of fake girlfriend would I be if I didn’t accompany my boyfriend on all kinds of terrifying rides?


Evidently not a very good one. So the four of us had set off to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. So far the day hadn’t been very eventful. Bev and Joe went on some of the tamer rides, while Nick would try to drag me on to all sorts of scary things. The strange part was, he was actually succeeding for the most part. Oh sure, I’d put up a fight at first, but he’d pout, and I’d give in.


It was a little sickening.


Which was exactly how I felt after I got off the roller coaster. And before I got on any of them. Come to think of it, the entire roller coaster experience was pretty awful. I felt terrified while standing in line and watching it, I felt even worse while we were on it, looking down at the ground which was 50 feet below. And afterwards… I was fine for about two minutes until Nick dragged me to the next ride.


“No more rides, Nick.” I practically begged once we were let off yet another one. “Can’t we go get some cotton candy or something?”


To my surprise, Nick actually nodded. Thank God, I didn’t think I could take another death defying experience. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, I’m getting kind of hungry.” He said, lacing his fingers with mine. “Let’s go find Bev and Joe.”


So the two of us walked around the park, trying to find the other half of our little group.


“So what are you going to do about Brian?” Nick asked me, seemingly out of nowhere. We hadn’t really talked about that much, and honestly I didn’t really want to.


“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. I didn’t really have feelings for Brian, and that thought was only solidified when I looked up at Nick. He’d just gotten his hair cut the day before that, and I had to say, it looked pretty good on him. He’d finally gotten rid of that God awful parted down the middle style in favour of a shorter, spikier look. Definitely sexy.


Wait, sexy, Nick, what? I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts out of my head and return to the topic at hand. “I just… don’t have feelings for him.” I said dumbly.


“I think you guys would be good together.” Nick said, and I just sighed. Did we really have to talk about this now?


“I guess.” I mumbled, pulling him in the direction of Top Dog. “Come on, I want a Chili Dog.”


Nick grinned as he pulled his hand away from mine and lazily draped his arm over my shoulder. “Fine, but I’m not kissing you after you eat that.”


I rolled my eyes. “You wouldn’t be kissing me anyway.” I reminded him.


“Hey, there’s Bev and Joe!” Nick nearly shouted, pointing out our friends who were standing in line at Top Dog. It figures, as soon as we stop looking for them that they would pop up.


“Hey guys!” Bev greeted us with a smile as we stood behind them in the line. “What have you been up to all day?”


I gave her a distressed look and leaned my head on Nick’s shoulder. “What do you think?”


Nick just laughed. “She’s no fun though, she won’t go on T2 with me.”


I shuddered, that was the one ride I absolutely refused to go on with him. No amount of pouting from him would get me on it, I guarantee you that. Evidently, Bev felt the same way about it.


“Take Joe with you.” Bev said, pushing her boyfriend towards Nick. “He’s been bugging me to go on that all day.”


And with that, the two boys very quickly forgot about food and dashed off in the direction of the ride. Bev and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. That had worked out well. The guys could go on their stupid ride, and Bev and I could have some girl time. Which was apparently needed.


“So, what exactly is going on with you and Nick?” She asked me, as we sat down with our trays of food.


I raised my eyebrow, not really knowing what she was talking about. “Um, what?”


Bev shook her head and gave me a look that I really couldn’t read. “You know, you guys show up and you’re all cuddly, his arm is around you and you guys look totally couple-y.” She explained.


What was she talking about? She knew about my whole plan with Nick! “Um, fake dating, remember?”


Bev continued to look at me questioningly. It didn’t seem like she accepted that an answer at all. “But there’s no one to fool here, Dani.”


I shrugged. “So what? Nick and I are just having fun.” I said, and took a sip of my coke. “I mean, I get to do all that fun boyfriend stuff like holding hands and going on dates without having to deal with the drama of a real relationship.” It made perfect sense to me, anyway.


“You call this no drama?” Bev laughed, of course referring to the whole Brian and AJ kerfuffle.


“Well… I mean drama between the two of us.” I sighed, knowing full well she was just trying to give me a hard time. “It’s just fun, okay?”


Bev shook her head. “I don’t know, Dani. I think you like him for real.”


“That’s ridiculous, I do not like him for real.” I stated firmly. Me like Nick? Gross! Come on, he smelled… well actually, he smelled pretty good. Kind of like a mixture between old spice and Adidas body wash. Uh… okay not really the point. But still! He wasn’t boyfriend material at all, he was… well, pretty sweet actually. It wasn’t like I found him attractive though… except for that hair. Good God, his hair looked amazing now that it had been cut.


Oh fuck me. I did like him for real. And upon realizing this, I put my head in my hands and groaned. “Shut up.” I muttered.


Bev just clapped her hands together and grinned. “I knew it! I knew you would end up liking each other!”


I peeked over my hands and glared at her. “I like him. That doesn’t mean he likes me back.”


“Oh please, he totally does.” Bev waved her hands distractedly. Come on, let’s go find those guys. And we’ll get Nickers to kiss you.


I sighed, this was sure to lead to nothing good.


No sooner had we met up with the boys, than we were standing in line for yet another ride. This one wasn’t nearly as bad as the others though, instead it was just an exceptionally large ferris wheel. Nothing too scary. And definitely romantic, I grinned to myself.


The ride was perfect for the four of us. Nick and I sat on one side, and Bev and Joe sat on the other side facing us. I’m pretty sure that compared to the T2 or whatever ride the guys had just been on, this one seemed boring but I didn’t care, I thought it was nice. Not every ride had to be terrifying beyond belief.


So the four of us made small talk as we sat on the Ferris wheel. Well, I should say that the three of them made small talk. Most of my time was spent sitting there quietly and peeking up at Nick every so often.


“What’re you looking at, Dani?” Nick asked suddenly. Damn it! Busted.


“I uh… looking over the edge, you can see the whole park!” I stammered, sounding totally ridiculous, I’m sure.


Nick turned his head to the side and I leaned on his shoulder. His arm was around me once again, and while earlier that day I’d thought nothing of it, it was suddenly the focus of all my attention. He turned back to me, and I couldn’t help but notice that our lips were inches apart. How easy it would have been for me to just tilt my head up and kiss him. Of course, I wanted to know that he did actually like me too, I wanted for him to kiss me.


I tried as best I could to give him the hint, too. I stared into his eyes, licked my lips, moved my face closer to his…


“Oh man, we have to go to Splashwater Kingdom after this!” He exclaimed, pointing over the edge to the water park that was below us. I glanced at Bev and she shot me a sympathetic look. How could someone who had been with so many girls be so oblivious?


As we made our way over to the water park section, Nick and I still walked hand in hand, and again it was everything I could think about.


Trust me when I say that the water park is much, much better than any roller coaster. Sure there’s big water slides and all that, but you get a little bit wet (or drenched) and that’s about it. Nick didn’t really have to beg me to get me onto any of those water rides.

By the time we left the park, it was nearly midnight. It was about an hour and a half ride back to Lexington, which didn’t get us back to the hotel until about 1:30am. As Bev and Joe had taken their own car, the four of us split up once we got to the parking lot.

“Nice to see you again, Joe.” Nick said, as the two guys shook hands. “See you back at the hotel, Bev.”

Bev rolled her eyes as she looked straight at Nick. “You’re totally oblivious.” She said, walking off with her boyfriend.

Nick looked at me with much confusion. “What’s she talking about?”

I laughed nervously, not sure if it was the best idea for me to tell Nick what I was feeling. After all, that wouldn’t work out well. If us fake dating had caused an uproar, imagine what would happen if we were to start dating for real. Though… everyone already thought we were together for real

Except for Brian. That would definitely crush him. No, I couldn’t tell Nick. Not unless I was sure he felt the same way, then we would be in this together.

“I have no idea.” I said, getting into the car. “Let’s get going, I’m tired.”

And with that, the two of us set off on the drive back. I slumped down into my seat, this definitely was a dilemma.

The Best of Both Worlds
Nine: Totally Oblivious

The day that we spent at Six Flags was an interesting one. First of all, it wasn't all that hard for me to convince Dani to get on any rides. That should have been my first clue – she hates those things.

Secondly, things were getting less and less awkward by the minute. Where I used to find it totally weird holding hands with her and acting like a couple, it was becoming more natural. I was finding myself touching her without giving it a second thought. That, and there wasn't anyone there for us to fool. There was no reason for us to be acting that way.

Third, and probably the most important, she'd been making jokes about actually liking me all day. I don't know if she thought it was funny, if she was trying to see what my reaction would be or what, but that really should have been a tip off. Of course, I thought I knew Danica. You know, that fact that she was my best friend should have made this easy. I should be able to read her like a book.

Unfortunately, she's a girl and I'm not so good with girls. Sure, they flock to me and it's easy for me to get them. But understanding exactly what they're thinking? I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do that. They make no sense to me. So when Danica made all her little jokes about having a thing for me, that's all I thought they were – jokes! I mean, what would you think?

“Don't worry about it, I'll pay.” I said, as I pulled out my wallet.

She looked up at me and grinned. “Well I should hope so, seeing as I'm hopelessly in love with you and all.” She said, linking her arm with mine.

Seeing as that was the first comment she'd made of that nature that day, I was kind of taken aback. “What?”

Staring at me in all seriousness, she explained further. “Of course. Why do you think I came up with this plan? It was so I could get you to see how much you really liked me.”

I didn't reply, I think I was too much in shock. There was a tense moment of silence before she burst out laughing.

“Relax Nick. I'm just kidding. Obviously I don't like you.”

Well, what would you think? Because I really didn't know if she was being serious or what. And it went on like that all fucking day. I mean, I was pretty sure she was just messing with me the whole time, but then Bev decided to make a comment to me.

“You're totally oblivious.”

What the hell did that mean? I didn't have a clue, and when I asked Danica about it, she just seemed to brush it off. God damn it, girls confuse the hell out of me.

For the most part the drive home was really quiet. Danica sat in the passenger's seat fiddling with her CD player. I tried as best I could to concentrate on driving and not think about this, but it was no use. I had to find out what was going on.

“Danica?” I asked, and she glanced at me, taking her headphones off.

“Sorry, did you say something to me?” She asked.

I rolled my eyes. “No, I was talking to the other Danica in the car.” I said sarcastically. “Of course you.”

She shook her head. Sarcasm had never been her favourite trait of mine. “What's up?”

I took a deep breath. “Do you actually like me? Because honestly I can't tell anymore.” I asked, maybe with a little too much exasperation. Oh well, I was confused!

She paused. Shit, that wasn't a good sign at all. “Um...” She stammered.

What the crap? She wasn't supposed to say 'Um'! She was supposed to say 'No, Nick, I don't like you at all. God, I was just kidding. You need to relax.' No, this wasn't good at all. “Dani? Do you want to be going out with me for real?”

She sighed. “I wouldn't be opposed to it.” She said slowly.

Yeah, a simple 'Yes' would have been just as good, Dani. How the hell did this happen? If I had been thinking straight, I probably would have asked her a million questions. But I didn't. “For real real, not for play play?” I asked, using a long running inside joke of ours.

“For real real.” She repeated quietly, looking at me for the first time in the duration of this conversation.

Shit... Danica was my friend. I didn't know if I had feelings for her... at least I didn't think that I did. And even if I did, AJ would kick my ass... well he'd already done that, so I wasn't too worried about him. But Brian... I'd already told Brian he could have her. Could I really go back on my word like that?

Fuck, what a messed up situation this was.

At that moment I realized I hadn't said anything for a while. Danica was looking at me, waiting for some kind of response. I think she probably wanted me to tell her that I liked her too, and that we were going to live happily ever after, or whatever else girls think of when they like a guy. But I couldn't say those things to her. Not when I didn't know how I felt, and especially not with the Brian situation.

“I need to talk to Brian.” I finally said, and she seemed to accept that as an answer. She nodded, and put her headphones back on.

And so we continued on the very awkward drive back to the hotel.

~~~

Once we got back, Danica left the car without a word and quickly retreated to her hotel room. I sighed to myself, this was not going well at all. She was clearly upset, but there really wasn't anything I could do about it! Sighing, I made my way back to my room. And I nearly made it there without incident.

“Yo, Nick!” Damn it, AJ!

“What's up, J?” I asked, putting on a cheesy grin. “Have a good day of shopping?”

He ignored my question and cut right to the chase, which he always likes to do. “Why isn't Dani with you?”

Oh crap, I still had to go on with this stupid plan, didn't I? Things were getting more complicated by the second. I had to come up with a quick lie. “She's not feeling well, too may roller coasters I guess.” I replied dumbly.

“Well you should be with her, nursing her back to health!” He said suggestively. I rolled my eyes. If I thought that kissing Dani would be too awkward, having sex with her would be nearly impossible.

“Yeah, whatever.”

AJ gave me a funny look. I was usually quick to match AJ with sexual innuendos, so he caught on to the fact right away that something wasn't right. “What? Have you not sealed the deal yet?”

“Shut up.” I mumbled. I really didn't want to have this conversation with him, all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Playing the part of Danica's boyfriend just got a million times more awkward.

“You haven't!” AJ laughed. Of course he wasn't about to let this go. “And here I was all jealous because you were the one that was fucking her, guess I don't need to be.”

“Not everything is about sex.” Whoa, wait. Did those words just come out of my mouth?

AJ wasn't buying it, and rightfully so. “Yeah okay, Nick.” He said. “That girl has got you wrapped around her fingers.”

I glared at him, AJ really had no idea what was really going on. “She has me whipped?” I laughed a little. “Look at you, seeking me out to find information. Quit acting like a twelve year old who's never been laid, I could have Danica right now if I wanted her. Too bad I can't say the same for you.” I snarled.

“You're on thin ice, Carter.” AJ said, but he backed off. “You don't deserve her.”

“And you do?” I shot back, getting in his face. Awkwardness with Danica or not, she was still my best friend and I didn't appreciate AJ talking about her the way he was.

“Women, women, break it up!” Howie said, suddenly poking his head out of his hotel room. “I can hear you all the way down here!”

“Get lost, AJ. This isn't you business.” I said, going into my hotel room without waiting for his response. I fell asleep almost immediately, but not without thoughts and worries about Dani crossing my mind. Things were about to get a whole lot more interesting.

The Best of Both Worlds
Ten: Cause and Effect

What Nick didn't realize, was that while he was running his mouth to AJ, practically everyone on our floor could hear what they were saying. Granted, after the day I'd had I was exhausted and ready to crawl into bed. But what girl would pass up an opportunity to eavesdrop on the guy they were crushing on? Really.

I have to say, it was pretty impressive that Nick was still going along with the plan. That had to make things awkward. Having to tell people I was his girlfriend when he was obviously unsure of what he wanted. Typical Nick, indecisive. Just another one of the reasons why dating him was probably a terrible idea.

Oh right. On the car ride home I made a list of all the reasons a relationship with Nick would fail. It Made me feel a little bit better about the fact he wasn't jumping up and down at the chance to be with me for real.

He's bad with monogamy, and would probably cheat on me all the time. He's incredibly self absorbed and always busy with work. His fans are psycho and despise any girlfriend he has. He can't go anywhere without being recognized and subsequently having to sign a million autographs.

Yup, those are all reasons why I should just push this stupid idea out of my mind.

It's really too bad that he's incredibly gorgeous and could make any girl melt with his smile. He can be thoughtful at times, usually when you least expect it. We've been friends for two years, so I know that we already get along. He's really funny and a ton of fun to just sit around and do nothing with.

Ugh. This really is a problem.

“I could have Danica right now if I wanted her.”

Whoa, wait, what?! Arrogant much? I guess that's another thing I can add to my list of reasons why Nick would make a shitty boyfriend. He thinks he can get any girl he wants.

God, he cannot just assume that I'd fall into his lap as soon as he snaps his fingers. I mean... it's true that I want to be with him but he was sort of right, we need to talk to Brian first. If we just decided to take things to the next level, it would cause all sorts of problems. Brian would be upset, he'd feel betrayed by Nick, eventually the whole plan would get out in the open. No... that would just be bad.

And I certainly wouldn't sleep with him right away! I mean it's not like I'm some kind of innocent virgin or anything like that, but I'd prefer to at least build some sort of foundation to our relationship before having sex with him.

The fact that he said that just infuriated me. So much that I didn't even want to listen to the rest of what he and AJ were saying. I sighed out of frustration and flopped down onto my bed. Sleep was probably out of the question at this point, but at least I could stare at the ceiling and brood.

I guess I must have hit that bed pretty hard, because Bev woke up with a start.

“Dani, what are you doing?” She asked me, sitting up in her bed and glancing at me.

“Sorry, just thinking.” I said with a sigh.

“I take it you didn't tell Nick how you felt?” She asked me, turning on the lamp on the desk between us.

“What makes you say that?” I asked, not really wanting to get into the specifics, but knowing that I probably didn't have a choice. Bev would get the truth out of me, she always managed to.

“Well, if you had I assume you guys would be in his room.” She said suggestively, giving me a wink.

Ugh. Of course she would assume something like that. “Yeah, because everything has to be about sex.” I said bitterly, looking down at my hands.

Bev gave me a strange look. “Okay, what happened?” She asked cautiously.

I rolled my eyes. What a stupid day it had been. That's all it was, just stupid. “Nick asked me if I liked him on the car ride home.” I admitted.

You could almost see her eyes light up. Trust Bev to always think there was going to be a happy ending. “And?!”

“And I told him that I did... I guess.” I said, taking a breath. “And all he said was that he needed to talk to Brian about it. Not that he felt the same way, not that he didn't. Just that he needed to talk to Brian.”

Bev raised an eyebrow. “How exactly is that bad?”

“Because he was supposed to be like 'Oh Dani, I'm so glad that you want to be with me for real, I've been waiting for this moment ever since we started fake dating.'” I imitated Nick, complete with dramatic gesticulation.

But Bev just burst out laughing. “Right. Because that sounds exactly like something Nick would say.”

“Well clearly not, because he didn't say it!” I shot back.

Bev sighed. “Well look at it this way. He didn't say that he didn't like you, and really, making sure Brian is okay with you guys being together should be his top priority.”

“I guess.” I mumbled, knowing that she was right.

“Besides, why would he have to talk to Brian if he didn't like you?” She reasoned. I guess that made sense. But if he liked me too, why couldn't he just have told me that? Ergh, men.

“Yeah.” I could agree with that at least. “But he doesn't need to be such a douche.”

“He's not being a douche.” Bev said. “He's just trying to smooth everything over.”

“Yelling with AJ in the hall is trying to smooth everything over?” I asked, still annoyed, and also forgetting that Bev didn't know that tidbit of information.

“What?”

“AJ saw him going into his hotel room and started grilling him about me again. They started arguing about sex and Nick told AJ he could have me anytime he wanted.” I scoffed. Nick could be such an insensitive douche.

Again, Bev just laughed.

“It's not funny!” I defended myself.

“Dani, I really wouldn't worry about it. That's just the kind of thing guys say to each other.” She said, grinning at me. “Besides, you have to hand it to Nick. He's still keeping up appearances with your plan even though things between you guys are really weird.”

“Yeah.” Damn her and her logic.

“So try to get some sleep, okay?” She said, turning off the light and rolling over.

“Yeah, goodnight.” I mumbled, crawling underneath the covers. Hopefully I could sleep off all this stress and the next day would be less awkward. Nick would talk to Brian and everything would get sorted out. No need to worry.

~~~

I was sort of right. The next morning I woke up feeling much better. Things were sure to work themselves out. I mean, it was Nick and I. He was fairly level headed and wouldn't let things get out of hand.

Plus he and Brian were good friends. Brian would be understanding, he'd be hurt, but he'd understand. Nick and I could be together and live happily ever after. Everything would work itself out eventually.

Now, if I could just start believing that, things would be peachy keen.

After quickly getting ready I decided to head down to the restaurant in the hotel for some breakfast. That was one thing I loved about touring with these guys. Spending nights in ritzy hotels with fabulous food. What girl wouldn't enjoy that?

Either way, my mind was occupied with thoughts of belgian waffles and orange juice. I momentarily forgot about the situation with Nick. That is, until I nearly collided with he, AJ and Kevin in the hall.

“Dani!” He said, sounding surprised. “Did you have a good sleep?”

“Yeah.” I lied, eying him. Well, this was definitely awkward. Had he forgotten about what had happened the night before? “I'm just going downstairs for breakfast... do you want to come?” I asked him, not sure if I wanted him to say yes. I did want to talk with him... but I still wasn't sure what I was going to say.

“I can't, we've got to get going to do interviews and stuff.” He replied, glancing at Kevin. I can't say I wasn't a little relieved.

“Okay, I'm starving so I'm going to get going. See you guys later.” I said, waving at the others and giving Nick a quick hug.

Then something happened that I wasn't at all prepared for. After I pulled away from Nick, he leaned his head down and pressed his lips against mine. It happened so fast that I didn't fight it. Not that I wanted to, and I really couldn't because AJ and Kevin were standing right there.

In reality, it lasted only a few seconds but it felt like it went on for hours. His lips were softer than I imagined (and believe me, I had) and he parted them just enough. Needless to say, it was perfect. Perfect in that it was great and wonderful and confusing all at the same time.

“See you later, Dani.” He said after he pulled away, giving me a cocky wink. Pulling away? Why are we pulling away... I kind of wanted to keep kissing him...

“Bye.” I replied, still in something of a daze. I don't even remember getting down the rest of the hallway and making it on to the elevator. But somehow I did, and all I was thinking was, what the hell just happened?!

The Best of Both Worlds
Eleven: Back-Up Plan

I hate it when AJ grills me on my lack of sex. Even more so when it seems like I really should be getting laid – but I'm not. I don't think he's onto our little scheme, but I do think (well, I know) that he thinks it's absolutely hilarious that Dani and I aren't hitting the sheets.

Oh so hilarious. I'm just dying of laughter over here.

Of course by that I mean, I don't find it funny at all. This is what we do as guys, we talk about girls and brag about our sexual exploits. And if I can't brag... then I get made fun of. At least by AJ. I'm sure the others couldn't care less. It probably has something to do with the two of us being the youngest and most attractive. (Me more than him though, definitely.)

Either way, that morning we were once again getting lectured by Kevin. That really isn't my favourite past time, but it seems to happen a lot. This one had something to do with shouting our personal business for the world to hear. Apparently we have to be careful with doing that because we don't know what could get out and tarnish our image.

Whatever.

“Nick, are you listening to me?” Kevin practically barked, snapping me back to reality. That guy really meant business with his lectures.

“Yes, sir.” I said, mocking him slightly. AJ snickered a little, causing Kevin to roll his eyes.

“Glad we're clear on that.” He sighed. “Stop fighting over this girl, there are plenty more.” He said, and then went into what our schedule for the day was going to be. I can't say I really paid attention to that either.

I don't really think AJ liked Dani all that much though. Sure, he had before. Now all that it was, was that his ego was hurt. He'd lost, and I'd got what he'd wanted without even trying. I could tell that was what was driving him up the wall. Why shouldn't I take the chance to rub it in his face? After all, he was usually the one to come out on top when the two of us fought. It was time I had a turn, dammit!

If AJ thought I couldn't get Dani into my bed, he had another thing coming. I could get her, and last night was proof of that. I mean, I still didn't know where I stood on the whole relationship issue, but that could come later. Besides, I didn't have to actually sleep with her, I just had to make AJ think I was.

Dammit! That's what I get for not paying attention... did I walk into a wall or something? Oh... Dani. Perfect timing, heh.

“Dani!” I said, trying to sound excited and not at all awkward about what had happened the night before. It's not awkward unless I let it be awkward, right? “Did you have a good sleep?”

She gave me a strange look. Was I not doing a good job at making things seem normal? “Yeah. I'm just going downstairs for breakfast... do you want to come?”

No! If I went for breakfast with her she was probably going to grill me and ask me all sort of questions and talk about where we were headed and all this crap. No, it was definitely too early to have that conversation. Plus I didn't even know what I would say. I wasn't sure how I felt about her, I mean we were friends! The reason this plan was supposed to be full proof was because we were such good friends and there was no way we'd end up having feelings for each other. Right? Right.

“I can't, we've got to get going to do interviews and stuff.” I said quickly. Okay, it was a weak excuse, but I was sure she would buy it. I gave a quick glance to Kevin to show him that, yes, I had been listening to what the plans were for that day.

And buy it she did. “Okay, I'm starving so I'm going to get going. See you guys later.” She said, offering AJ and Kevin a quick wave and hugging me.

AJ shot me a cocky smirk. Oh yay, a hug. Fuck that, I'd show him that a stupid hug wasn't all I could get from her.

Just as she started to pull away from me, I licked my lips and leaned down to kiss her. Now, I don't mean to brag (well, okay, I do) but I'm a damn good kisser. I know what to do to leave girls wanting more.

Which is exactly what I intended to do with Dani, and it showed. I only kissed her for a couple of seconds, but by the time I pulled away she really didn't look as though she wanted to stop regardless of the fact that AJ and Kevin were standing right there.

“See you later, Dani.” I said, winking at her. What? I never said I wasn't a cocky bastard!

“Bye.” She replied, her eyes still half closed. She turned and slowly walked down the hall. When she finally stepped onto the elevator I grinned at AJ.

“How's that for getting whatever I want?” I asked. Kevin just shook his head and AJ rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Nick. A kiss is a kiss, I still say you're not getting any action.” He laughed. “And until I hear you two through the those thin hotel walls I'm not going to believe you.”

Ugh.

~~~

Soundcheck was uneventful, as it usually is. Of course Brian did manage to steal a few minutes of my time. Oh shit, wasn't I supposed to be talking to him about Dani and the fact that she liked me for real now?

Well, there really was no point in telling him about that, right? I mean, I didn't know what I was going to do with that information. I didn't have feelings for her... at least I didn't think I did. I wasn't sure. Things were definitely not awkward between us anymore, at least, not awkward in the sense that holding hands and that sort of thing was weird.

But it was awkward in the sense that we didn't know where we stood. But our relationship status hadn't changed, so what was the point in worrying Brian. If he thought he could get her, and he did manage to... that would sort of solve my problem, wouldn't it? I mean, I'd have to deal with some taunting from AJ about losing my woman to him and whatnot, but that would subside in a week or so and everything would go back to normal.

“I think I'm going to ask her out.” Brian said, once the two of us were alone. Dammit, I really should stop going off into my own little world.

See? He'd ask her out, they'd go on a date. No big deal.

“That's a good idea, Bri.” I said, not looking up from my comic book. Did he want some kind of acceptance or something?

“Is it, Nick?” He asked, sitting down beside me. Oh brother, were we going to have to have some heart to heart about this? “Are you guys still pretending to be dating?”

“Yeah, but that can be easily changed.” I shrugged. Well, I would have to deal with taunting... but not a big deal. The plan was to get AJ off Dani's back. If I could shift all the bullshit to Brian, my life would be that much easier.

Besides, it's not like I wanted her for myself. Nope, not at all.

“Are you sure you're okay with it?” He asked.

“Why wouldn't I be?” I shot back. Okay, I was starting to get a little annoyed. Let's chalk that up to the lack of sleep.

“I don't know, I just thought I should make sure.” He said, and with that he left.

What a day. AJ was laughing his ass of at me for not sleeping with her, and Brian was asking my permission to date her. When did my life go from being a comedy about a kick ass pop star, to a daytime soap opera?

The Best of Both Worlds
Twelve: Maybe

“It definitely means he likes you.” Bev confirmed, nodding her head and grinning ear to ear.

The two of us were having a quick bite to eat at a cafe down the street. Showtime wasn't for another hour, but as usual the guys were off doing Soundcheck and whatever else they did before a concert. Besides, girl talk was much needed. I mean, Nick had kissed me! That was cause for celebration, right?

Honestly, I wasn't too sure. He'd seemed pretty reluctant about the idea of us in the car the night before. Well, not so much reluctant as... worried about Brian. Of course there was the possibility that he'd already had his conversation with Brian and he'd given him the go ahead.

Somehow I doubted that. Nick wasn't exactly one who was good with confrontation. In fact, he avoided it as much as humanely possible. Maybe that was why he'd kissed me, because he didn't want to have a whole conversation about our feelings?

I had no idea. But hey, that's what girl talk is for, right?

“I don't know. Should I ask him? Like, what am I supposed to do?” Of course the drawback to girl talk is that we mostly end up talking in circles and not really solving anything.

“Just kiss him again.” She shrugged, as if it were no big deal. Of course it was a big deal!

“I can't just... do that!” I exclaimed. It was a ridiculous idea. Maybe Nick had just been going along with our plan of fake dating... he was just standing there with Kevin and AJ. I'll bet that's what it was. But we hadn't kissed before, that was never a part of the plan. Maybe he figured it was okay because I liked him? But wouldn't that make things more awkward? Can you tell that I was confused beyond all belief?

“Of course you can, he kissed you once, that means he's perfectly fine with it. You know Nick, he's a stubborn guy. He doesn't do anything unless he wants to.” Trust Bev to be the voice of reason.

“I guess.” I mumbled. I didn't exactly have the confidence to walk up to him and stick my tounge down his throat.

“Just do it, Dani.” Bev commanded, finishing her drink. “Guys like stuff like that, when girl make the first move.”

“Technically it was him that made the first move.” I reminded her, playing with the ice in my glass.

“Either way, he'll find it hot. Do it.” She said with a grin. A few seconds later the waitress came by and handed us our bill. Bev promptly grabbed it out of my hands telling me that she'd pay, since I'd had a rough last couple of days.

Every girl needs a friend like her.

~~~

I got back to the hotel a little while after Nick did, since the guys are always there first. They've got a pretty good system set up there. They do their last song, disappear into the stage, some pyrotechnics go off and everyone of course keeps screaming. By the time the lights go on at the arena they're already back at the hotel, and the girls are none the wiser.

It works pretty well, except for the whole waiting in the dancer bus part. That part kind of sucks. We have to go last, because it's a priority to get the guys back first, which makes sense. Still, sometimes girls will chase our bus or wave at it, thinking that it's Nick or someone who's in there. That part is kind of amusing.

Either way, I decided to hang around in my hotel room and wait for him to come back. I figured we could order some pizza, watch some movies... you know, the usual things that we did after a show.

But I waited and waited, and Nick didn't show up. After about an hour I finally got fed up and decided to call him. I mean, wouldn't you? Maybe if this was some regular guy that I liked I would have felt all nervous and worried and unsure if I should call or not. But this was Nick. My best friend of how long?

So I quickly dialed his number and waited as it rang. When his voice mail picked up, I gave up. Tossing my cell phone on my bed I glanced at the clock. It was around midnight, maybe he was sleeping? Somehow I doubted that, but you could never be too sure.

I wondered if it was too forward of me to do what I did next, but at that point I really didn't care. I took a deep breath as I marched down the hall towards his hotel room. Standing in front of his door, I bit my lip, not sure if this was really a good idea. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, maybe he was tired...maybe he was with another girl.

No! That couldn't be it. And yet, the reality was, that definitely could have been it. Nick had slept with groupies in the past, what was to say he wouldn't do it again? Well, there was only one way to find out, right? Another deep breath and I was knocking on his door.

He answered fairly quickly. The lights in his room were on... so he hadn't been sleeping.

“Hey.” He said, eying me a little suspiciously. Okay, maybe that was just in my imagination. Either way, I hadn't anticipated how awkward this would be. “What's up?”

“I was just...” Doing what? Making sure you weren't sleeping with someone else? Ugh. “wondering if you wanted to hang out. Or watch a movie. Or get food.” Smooth, Dani.

“I'm watching Friends. You can join me if you want.” He replied, opening the door and ushering me inside his room.

I quickly stepped inside his room and was quick to sit on the other double bed. Why was this so awkward? It was as if the entire dynamic of our relationship had changed, and now everything was weird.

“This is a good episode, have you seen it before?” Nick said, nodding towards the screen. Of course I'd seen it before, I've probably seen every episode of that series ten times! That's something Nick should have known. See? He's not very thoughtful at all.

“Yeah.” I replied simply. “Ben Stiller's pretty good in it.”

“Ben Stiller's pretty good in everything, Dani.” Nick shot back, raising his eyebrow.

So the evening went on like that. The two of us just continued to make small talk about the TV shows we watched and that sort of thing. Every ounce of me wanted to ask him why he'd kissed me before, and why he wasn't doing it again. But I didn't. Maybe I should have, maybe he wanted me to make the next move since he'd so clearly already made one. Or maybe I was just over thinking this way too much.

Finally, after an hour of sitcom reruns and uncomfortably looking at the floor I spoke up. “Uh, Nick. Are we still doing that fake dating thing?” That was a safe question, right? It wasn't like I was asking the status of our real relationship, just our pretend one. Plus, this gave him the opportunity to answer 'well it wouldn't really be fake anymore, would it?'

“Yeah, why wouldn't we?” He asked. Damn!

“No reason.” I said, looking back at the TV. And with that, we just retreated again to awkwardly watching sitcoms and making the occasional comment about them. Why was he making this so difficult and confusing?

The Best of Both Worlds
Thirteen: It's Not Awkward...

I'm not gonna lie – I bolted. As soon as my bus parked I ran into the hotel and into my room. I didn't want to have to deal with any more bullshit, and I certainly didn't want to have to tell Dani where we stood.

Because really, where did we stand? She liked me, I didn't like her, Brian liked her and she didn't like him, as far as I knew anyway. But what was I supposed to do? Tell my best friend that I didn't have any romantic feelings for her, in turn hurting her and making her upset. Then our plan would be over, AJ would laugh at me for getting dumped by her, I'd never be able to show him up and I'd just be a pathetic little child.

See? It was just easier to cut the melodrama and avoid her. That would work nicely, because in time she'd forget about it. This would all blow over, it had to. She'd meet some other guy that she liked and forget all about me. Everything would go back to normal, back to before she'd come up with this stupid plan.

Stupid plan. That's really what had caused all this, wasn't it? She started liking me soon after, or maybe she'd liked me the whole time and used the plan as an excuse to get closer to me. That's the kind of manipulative thing that girls do, isn't it? Maybe she'd done this to try to get me to like her too. Well, it didn't work at all, did it? It just made things even worse with this whole Brian situation that popped up.

Why couldn't she just date Brian and forget all about me? That would work out wouldn't it? I mean, I'd still have to deal with AJ's taunting, losing my girlfriend to Brian sure would give him something to laugh about, but at least Dani would be happy.

I never was good in situations like this. Like I said, it's easier to just avoid it and hope it all goes away. Hiding in my hotel room seemed like a good idea. After taking a quick shower I flopped down on my bed and made good use of the sitcom reruns that were on. That would definitely work to help me forget about my drama.

I wish my life was a sitcom, that'd be much better than the drama it was quickly becoming. I mean think about it, wouldn't it be great if there was a real life laugh track? Something tense would happen, but oh, it's okay, there's a laugh track so this isn't awkward at all. The studio audience thinks it's funny, therefore we should also think it's funny.

Yes, I'm well aware that was pretty random. But I'm a pretty random kind of guy and I'm trying to occupy my mind at the moment, so what do you expect?

Oh shit! Phone's ringing. Should I look at the caller ID? Of course I should! The person on the other end doesn't know that I'm looking at the caller ID and therefore, they don't know that I know that they're calling me. Stealth Carter. Really stealth.

Ahhhh Danica! Shit, shit, shit! Why do girls do that? Doesn't she know that if I wanted to talk to her, I'd call her myself?! Don't call! Okay, it's okay. Just don't pick up the phone. For all she knows, I've already gone to sleep. And she should know better than anyone that when I'm asleep not even an earthquake could wake me, let alone some lame cell phone ringer.

Okay, I'm just going to put the phone on the table. Not a big deal. I've just gone to sleep. Not ignoring the phone. Not ignoring the drama. Nope, not me. I would never do such a thing!

Alright, phone has stopped ringing. Crisis averted! I'm pretty sure I handled that like a pro. Now to lay back on the bed and continue watching my sitcoms. That is, until there was a knocking at my door. Girls just don't give up, do they? What the hell?

I guess I can't avoid her forever. Slowly, I opened the door. And, as predicted, there she was. Why don't these hotel room doors have those peep holes on them?! That would have made my life so much easier!

“Hey...” I said awkwardly. Was it obvious I'd been avoiding her? Oops. “What's up?”

She looked at me, but I couldn't read her expression. Was she annoyed? Happy? Relieved that I was there and actually talking to her? “I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out. Or watch a movie. Or get food.” Her words sort of ran together... was it possible that she was nervous?

No, that couldn't be! Why should she be nervous? She was the one that had everything to gain and nothing to lose from this situation. I guess I should just make this easier on her. “I'm watching Friends. You can join me if you want.” I said, opening the door. Part of me was hoping that she would decline my offer and go back to her room.

But she didn't. Instead she walked inside and sat down on one of the beds. Oh well, I can try to make the best of a bad situation, can't I? If I don't act like things are awkward, then they won't be! That should work nicely.

“This is a good episode, have you seen it before?” Okay, a stupid question since Friends is one of her favourite shows and she's seen every episode about a million times, but hey, I'm just trying to make conversation here! Besides, I couldn't stand that silence any longer.

“Yeah. Ben Stiller's pretty good in it.” She said quietly. Oh come on, Dani! Throw be a bone here! Under normal circumstances she'd get all uppity about how of course she'd seen it, and how I should know better, and then she'd start spouting some random trivia about the episode at hand. Were things really that different now that we couldn't even joke around with each other? She was taking this way too seriously. See? This is why I avoided her in the first place!

Okay, if she wasn't going to joke around, then I may as well try. “Ben Stiller's pretty good in everything, Dani.” I told her, knowing that she wasn't his biggest fan. That ought to get her riled up.

Still nothing. She just nodded and continued looking at the TV. She was definitely the one who was making this worse, I was just trying to make everything seem normal. I mean... things weren't normal... but I thought if I acted that way then maybe they would go back to normal.

“Oh, sweet!” I exclaimed as Friends ended and Seinfeld started. Seinfeld was much better than Friends, I've always thought that and I'm always going to. It's definitely more clever, and doesn't focus on drama as much as Friends does. Overall it's just better. Of course since Dani's a girl, and she loves drama, she thinks Friends is better. “The parking lot episode!”

“Friends is better than this show.” Dani said, giving me a look. Success! If she hadn't said anything, things would have been really bad. But see? There's hope! Things can go back to normal after all!

“It is not, Dani.”

“It is.” She said, gesturing towards the screen. “An entire episode taking place in a parkade? How can you think that's brilliant at all? Need I remind you about the episode of Friends where everyone finds out about Monica and Chandler? They don't know that we know that they know that we know!” She quoted, grinning from ear to ear. If anything can cheer her up, it's quotes from that show.

“No way.” I shot back. “This episode is brilliant, it takes place entirely in a parkade, which means the entire script is dialogue driven. That's hard to do well.” I said, waiting for her reply.

“Yeah, except that the dialogue's not funny.” She replied, shaking her head. “It's all situational.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “Why do you think they call it a sitcom? Situational comedy!”

“Friends is a sitcom too, it just uses other elements other than stupid gimmicks.” She laughed, sticking out her tongue.

“Friends isn't a sitcom, they should call it a sitdram.” I said, turning my attention back to the TV.

“Sitdram?” She asked.

“Yeah, situational drama.” I explained, even though I knew full well she knew what I meant.

And so just like that, we were back to bantering about which show was better. And things almost seemed like they were normal. That is, until she decided to drop a bomb on me. Not an atomic one, but a bomb none the less.

“Uh, Nick... are we still doing that fake dating thing?” She asked. Damn! I'd nearly forgotten about all that drama stuff that was going on.

“Yeah, why wouldn't we be?” Hopefully that got topic out of the way quickly. Plus, we couldn't really back out now, could we? It was a little late for that.

“No reason.” She replied.

And just like that, things went back to being quiet and awkward. So much for trying to make things normal again.

The Best of Both Worlds
Fourteen: Dinner Date

Another painfully awkward three days went by after the hotel room incident. Nick and I hardly talked, and I couldn't help but feel liked he was avoiding me. I mean it wasn't as though I was actively seeking him out either I guess, but still things were definitely not normal between us.

And how could I expect them to be? I'd dropped a huge bomb on him and if there was anything I knew, it was that Nick didn't deal with girls well. Oh sure, he had tons of girls all over the world at his feet, but that didn't mean he had to really talk or interact with them. They weren't interested in getting to know him on a personal level, if you know what I'm getting at.

Either way, we still had to pretend to be dating in public. That made things even weirder because while we were being all cuddly and cute I really just wanted to melt into the floor and cease to exist. Overdramatic? Yeah, but what can I say? It's awkward!

Case in point, last night. A bunch of us went out to some fancy schmancy restaurant after the show. I guess the guys have to keep up appearances and all that. Or maybe Kevin thought enough was enough with the fast food in their hotels rooms. Either way, we'd all wound up at some Italian place with a name I couldn't pronounce.

I had been lying on my hotel room bed, and as per the usual I was whining to Bev about the situation at hand. She'd given me the same advice she gave me every night, and I quote “Just fucking jump his bones already!”

See? She wasn't much help. Anyway, so as I was lying there complaining, there was a loud knock on our door.

Bev and I exchanged glances, both thinking the same thing. Was it possible that Nick had finally made up his mind and was going to stop avoiding me? Could he have come to his senses? I scrambled off the bed to answer the door and lo and behold my prayers had been answered. There was Nick.

“Hey!” I said, almost too eagerly.

But it seemed as though Nick wasn't there to confess his undying love for me. “Uh, hey Dani.” He said, not making eye contact with me. He drew in a deep breath. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No.” I said quickly. What would he have been interrupting? Girl talk with Bev? Hardly. Besides, there'd be much more for us to talk about once I went out with him. “What's up?”

“Kevin's getting the whole group together for some nice dinner.... and um.. since they think that you and I are...you know...” He explained, and my heart sank. So he was only here for the sake of the plan. For the millionth time, I cursed myself for ever coming up with it. It had only gotten us into trouble, and had really messed up our friendship.

“Yeah, I'll go with you.” I replied, trying not to sound too disappointed. After all, a night with Nick was a night with him, right? Well, not really. This wasn't the way I wanted things to be at all.

And so we went. Sitting awkwardly at the dinner table, trying to make conversations with the others. I nervously sipped on my drink and tried to remember the advice Bev gave me before I'd left.

“Just act like you would if you were really dating him.” She'd said. “Show him what your relationship would be like. Make yourself irresistible.”

She'd certainly played up the irresistible part, lending me this slinky black dress of hers. It was something I never would have worn on my own accord, but she insisted. I found it itchy and uncomfortable. But I guess if it got Nick to get his head out of his ass it'd be worth it.

I think.

“Dani?” Nick whispered in my ear, and I jumped about a foot. I guess I really hadn't been paying attention.

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to share an appetizer...or something?” He asked. Appetizer? I couldn't care less! All I could think about was that Nick's face was once again inches away from mine. And since we were out to dinner with everyone and supposed to be dating, it wouldn't be such a big deal if I leaned over and kissed him. Except for the fact that I was way too shy to do that. So I just nodded my head.

“Sure.”

We shared another couple minutes of awkward silence until the waitress came by to take our orders. Nick brushed his hand against mine as he ordered, and I instinctively intertwined my fingers with his. He glanced at me and gave me a small smile before kissing me on the cheek. Yeah, it was all for show but I had to admit it felt pretty nice.

“So Dani, are you going to be joining us after the tour?” AJ asked, cutting into my thoughts.

I hadn't really thought about that, and wasn't sure how to answer. By the time the tour was over, I was sure that all these issues would be resolved and Nick and I would either be together or not be. He couldn't keep me hanging forever, could he?

Thankfully, Nick saved me. “We hadn't really talked about it much. We'll just see how things go.” He grinned, looking over at me for approval.

“Yeah.” I agreed, not knowing what else to say. Nick and I weren't even together, so I didn't have anything to add. And his response to AJ didn't give me any indication as to what his decision on our relationship was.

AJ seemed satisfied with this answer, but still gave Nick a look that I couldn't read. Was he on to our little plot? No, that couldn't be it. Nick and I were pretty careful about letting our secret get out and tried not to let the awkwardness between us show.

I sighed, leaning my head on Nick's shoulder. He looked down at me for a moment, but didn't say anything. I didn't know what else I could do to show him that I really did like him and that we really would be good together. Maybe it was time for me to move on and give up on him...

“I'm going to go to the bathroom.” I said, and promptly left the table.

It really was a nice restaurant, the bathroom even had an attendant who handed you a cloth towel. This was an aspect of Nick's life I definitely wasn't used to, I very much preferred eating Burger King in his hotel room to this.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a minute or so. I had foundation caked all over my face, Bev had given me mascara and eyeshadow, and my lips had this shimmery pink colour covering them. My hair was curled and fell around my face. On the outside I looked exactly like the type of girl Nick normally dated. Yet he knew me and knew that I was more the female equivalent of him than some blonde bimbo.

So why couldn't he see that?

I reluctantly began walking back to the table, lost in my thoughts and unsure of what to do. Because I was so focused on my Nick problem, I didn't even notice Brian right in front of me.

“Hey, Dani. You look lost.” He chuckled, and I grinned. Trust Brian to always make me smile.

“Yeah.” I admitted. “These places aren't really my style.”

“Me neither.” He replied. “You get used to them after a while though.”

I nodded. “I didn't even know what to order. There's no burgers. No fries.”

“Well you're in luck, because I happen to know the best burger place in New York and we're here for another day.” He said, averting his gaze from my eyes. “So if you want, I'll take you there for lunch tomorrow.”

Wait, what? Did Brian just kind of ask me out? And why shouldn't he? It's not like Nick was making any moves to claim me for his own.

I guess I took too long to answer, because Brian started rambling on nervously. “Sorry, I mean... I don't know what your status is with Nick, but I figured it wasn't a big deal...”

I grinned. Maybe going out with Brian would be better. He actually liked me, and wasn't acting like a wishy washy indecisive moron. It wasn't like I had to marry him... one date wasn't such a bad idea.

“No, it's not a big deal.” I said. “In fact, I think it's a great idea.”

“So it's a date then.” Brian smiled as the two of us walked back to the table.

The Best of Both Worlds
Fifteen: Raise Your Glass

Danica probably thinks I'm doing every thing I can to avoid the issue. She probably thinks that I haven't given this any thought and that I'm hoping it will all go away. That I spend my nights picking up random girls and forgetting that she exists and is waiting for me to give her an answer on what the status of our relationship is.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I mean, okay, I really do wish this would go away, but what can I do to stop it? She likes me, Brian likes her, I...

Well, where do I stand, really? That's as good a question as any. And it's most of the reason why I haven't done anything about this. Dani deserves someone is sure about what he wants, who doesn't make rash and stupid decisions and could potentially hurt her. I'm just not that guy... I don't think I am anyway. And if I'm unsure, isn't that sort of the answer?

The whole thing just makes my head hurt. I don't know what I can do to figure out how I feel, because I know her. I know she doesn't want some wishy washy answer. She wants the truth, she wants me to tell her I want her and only her. Can I do that?

I honestly don't fucking know. I'm 19 years old, what do you expect?!

Since the whole thing was giving me a headache, I was laying on my stiff hotel room bed with my stiff hotel room pillow trying to get some rest. Of course, the key word here is trying. I was failing pretty miserably as my brain was racked with the problems at hand.

And what do you know? Just as soon as I'd started to drift off into dreamland, there was a loud knock at my door, followed by a thundering yell.

“NICKOLAS!” Ah, Kevin. See, I told you it was thundering!

I sighed. Rolling off of the bed I reluctantly opened my door. Kevin giving me a post show visit was never a good sign. What could he possibly want that couldn't be saved until the morning?

“Yeah?”

“Get dressed.” He said, suddenly in a much nicer voice. I guess he assumed I was sleeping, thus using the loud voice before. Oh Kevin, how nice of you to be so considerate. “We're going out for a nice dinner.”

I pouted. Nice dinners sucked. “Why?” I asked, in a much whinier voice than I'd intended.

“Because we always eat too much fast food, plus it'll be good for us to all go out together.” He explained, and then put his hand on my shoulder. “Cheer up, you can bring your girlfriend if you want.”

Oh, come on! You have got to be kidding me! That was just cruel. Faced with my current situation, and now I have to go out and play as though Dani is my actual girlfriend, cause you know, we have this stupid plan and have to keep up appearances and whatnot. You know, my life would be a lot simpler if I didn't have to “keep up appearances”. And I'm not even talking about Backstreet Boys stuff, because this fake relationship is turning out to be a lot harder than that, if you can believe it.

But I put on my most fake Nick Carter grin. “Sounds great. I'll meet you guys downstairs in twenty minutes?”

Kevin seemed to accept that. Why he couldn't see through my fake smiles by now, I had no idea, but so long as they kept working I wasn't concerned. “Perfect.”

I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. What a mess. I was going to have to go invite Dani to dinner, and it was going to be awkward, and this time we didn't have a TV show to distract us. It was just going to be us. Well, us and the others. But they didn't count.

So, I mustered up all my manly courage and began the long and daunting walk down to her room. It didn't take long for me to get there though, considering we were on the same floor. That, and I was nervous. Ever notice how time moves a lot quicker when you're nervous about doing something?

Anyway, before I knew it I was knocking on her door. That's when I started to really panic. What was I going to say? Should I try and ignore the awkwardness or should I comment on it? Oh crap, she was opening the door

“Hey!” She greeted me happily. Oh crap, did she think I was there to tell her I loved her and that I wanted to run off together?

“Uh, hey Dani.” I said, and suddenly the ugly hotel carpet seemed very interesting. Though, I did notice Bev peek out from the room and over at us. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No. What's up?” She asked, still sounding happy, and now a little concerned.

Might as well get it over with. “Kevin's getting the whole group together for some nice dinner.... and um.. since they think that you and I are...you know...” I stumbled over my words and tried to get my point across. I didn't want to come off as an insensitive jerk... but I'm pretty sure I didn't succeed in that mission.

“Yeah, I'll go with you.” She agreed quickly. I smiled, glad that the hard part was over with. What was I expecting anyway? For her to yell at me? Hardly.

“Great. I just need to get changed...so I'll meet you back in ten minutes or so, then we can go downstairs together?” I suggested, hoping I didn't sound too pushy.

“Okay.” She agreed, and closed the door.

Why couldn't I be in dreamland right now? Things are always so much nicer there.

After getting dressed I headed downstairs to meet up with the other guys. I kept to myself mostly, I didn't really want to get stuck in a conversation about Dani with AJ or someone. That, and Brian kept giving me shifty looks. What was that all about? Jeez.

“Hey Nick.” I heard Dani say, and I spun around to face her. I was met with something I didn't expect. There she was, looking completely different than she normally did. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, she was just different. Dressed up, yes. But she didn't look like the Dani I knew, instead she looked like she'd taken a vacation in a Hollywood magazine and hadn't adjusted back to her normal life yet. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

“Hey.” I said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and draping my arm over her shoulders. “Ready to go?”

She nodded, and I gulped. How awkward was this going to have to get before one of us cracked? I guess pretty awkward, because we're both pretty stubborn.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened at the restaurant. I tried to walk the line with Dani. I didn't want to be too touchy feely with her, but at the same time I had to show some affection, otherwise they wouldn't buy our whole relationship, right?

“So Dani, are you going to be joining us after the tour?” AJ asked suddenly. Way to make things awkward, buddy! I felt Dani tense up beside me, so clearly she was unsure what she should say.

“We hadn't really talked about it much, we'll just see how things go.” I said with a smile, and looked over at Dani. She seemed to think that was a safe answer.

“Yeah.” Was all she said before excusing herself to go to the washroom.

I can't say I wasn't relieved that she was gone for a few minutes. It gave me a chance to breathe and now worry about how I should be acting around her.

“Is Dani okay, Nick?” Brian asked me, bringing me back to planet Earth.

“Huh?”

Brian smiled and explained further. “She seemed a little bit nervous or something. Is there something wrong?”

I shook my head. Obviously Brian new that our whole plan was just a facade, but I couldn't exactly explain everything to him in front of everyone else. I couldn't even explain to him alone, because as far as I knew, he didn't know that Dani had feelings for me.

“Not that I know of.” I answered, and then glanced in the direction of the washroom.

“Do you mind if I go talk to her?” He asked me, trying to give me some look I couldn't figure out.

“Uh.. sure...” I replied. Why was he asking me, he can talk to whoever he wants!”

Brian just smiled and went to go meet Dani on her way back to the table. See what I'm talking about? Everything is awkward now! I shook my head and concentrated on the appetizer that had just been placed in front of me. At least there's one thing that I'm sure of. No matter how awkward and strange my life got, there would always cheesy garlic bread.

The Best of Both Worlds
Sixteen: First Date

I hate first dates. They are so awkward and nerve-wracking. You never know what to say or do. You have to overanalyze everything… and you know, I already do that! So really, it’s just double the stress that I normally have.

Plus I’m going on a date with Brian Littrell, and quite honestly, I’m not even sure I want to. I know, I know, a thousand teenyboppers would kill to be in my position right now. But I can’t help it. Maybe it’s because we’re such good friends. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to open up to someone. And maybe it’s because I’d much rather be with his best friend than him.

But I guess I shouldn’t complain. Brian is a nice guy, and there is a definite possibility we could have some fun.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t change my outfit five times though. I wanted to look nice, but at the same time I didn’t want to look like I was trying to look nice. After all, all we were doing was going to a burger place. It wasn’t like we were getting married.

After fighting with my wardrobe for what seemed like an eternity I finally decided on something simple. Just a black shirt with a white flower printed skirt. Casual, and still cute.

“I don’t know about this.” I sighed to myself as I looked in the mirror. Once I’d solved the clothing issue, I’d moved on to the hair issue. Should I put it up, or leave it down? Putting my hair in a ponytail made it look stupid, as I’d had some blonde highlights where were starting to grow out. So the top of my head had my natural brown colour, and the ponytail was more blonde. But if I left it down it still looked bad, hanging a little past my shoulders and it had way too many split ends.

“Chill out, Dani.” Bev said from the other side of the hotel room.

I pouted. Clearly she hadn’t been on a first date in a while. “I hate my hair. This is going to go so badly.”

Bev raised an eyebrow as she walked over to me. “Because of your hair? I’m so sure.” She laughed. “I seriously doubt that Brian will see that your hair doesn’t look perfect and cancel your date.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “So you think my hair doesn’t look perfect?” I panicked.

Bev rolled her eyes. Okay, I admit it. I was being pretty difficult. “That’s what you just said!” She defended herself. “Just put it up.”

I looked at myself once more in the mirror. Putting it up did seem more casual, and that was the look I was going for. Okay, up it was!

Not more than a minute later, there was a soft knock on the door. I jumped and glanced at the clock. Was it that late already? Had I actually spent an hour deciding what to wear? I guess there was no more time for that. Bev gave me a cheesy grin and pushed me towards the door.

Pulling it open, I was floored by what I saw. There was Brian, standing there in his normal casual clothes, nothing out of the ordinary. But he was holding flowers and had a cheesy grin on his face. You know how they say in those stupid interviews that he’s the guy you’d want to bring home to Mom and Dad? Well, they’d definitely be right. How many guys are sweet enough to bring flowers on a first date? Not many.

“Hey Dani.” He said, handing me the bouquet. “Hey Bev.”

“Hey.” She said, taking the flowers from me and going to the other side of the room. Suddenly she was very occupied with finding an appropriate holder for them.

I smiled and blushed a little. “So, I guess you should lead the way.”

I think Brian could sense my nervousness. Honestly, I didn’t feel like he was nervous at all. I guess to try to make me feel better, he intertwined his fingers with mine. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. My heart started pounding in my chest, and if anything he was making me more nervous.

“You okay?” He asked, after walking through the hotel in silence. He pushed open the main door to the hotel and ushered me through it. God, he was just too sweet for words.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s just weird… cause it’s us.” I tried to explain how I was feeling, but I don’t think I did that well. “But it’s not just us, it’s us as an… ‘us’. You know?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too confusing.

He gave me a bit of a puzzled expression. Guess I wasn’t making as much sense as I thought. “Don’t worry so much, Dani.” He smiled as we walked down the street.

I smiled at him and tried to push any negative worrisome thoughts out of my head. Brian was right, I really shouldn’t worry so much. I mean, I wasn’t really giving him a fair chance, was I? All I was doing was thinking about how weird this was… and how different his hand felt from someone else’s…

“BRIAN LITTRELL?” A shrill voice broke through my thoughts… and ironically, reminded me who I was there with.

Brian smiled and greeted the two girls kindly. I have to hand it to him, he was always really good with the fans. Nick would just bitch about them after they were out of sight.

“Are you guys coming to the show tonight?” He asked and he finished signing their magazines.

“No.” One of them pouted, while the other one just stood there in shock. “We weren’t able to get tickets, you guys sold out in like, thirty seconds!”

Brian blushed. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He said sincerely. Meanwhile, I just stood there awkwardly. What was I supposed to do? The girls didn’t care about meeting me!

“Is this your girlfriend?” Oops, maybe I spoke too soon. Way to ask that question and make things ten times more awkward for me, random fan girl! It wasn’t like Brian was going to say to her ‘No, but you can be, babe.’ No, that was definitely something that Nick or AJ would say.

“No.” He laughed. “She’s just my friend.” See? I told you he wouldn’t say something pigheaded and stupid.

“Oh.” The girl replied, with a slight smirk on her face. Back off, bitch!

“Well girls, it was really nice to meet you, but I’m starving and we were just on our way to lunch.” He said, sensing that things were getting weird. So we were able to get away from the girls, but not before giving each of them a quick hug.

“Sorry about that.” Brian apologized to me, taking my hand again once the girls were out of sight.

I tried to wave it off as if it were no big deal. Besides, no matter who I was dating, Nick or Brian, I was going to have to deal with encounters like that. “Nah, it’s fine.”

I have got to tell you, Brian wasn’t lying when he said he knew the best burger place in New York. Not only was the burger awesome, but so were the fries, the milkshake…everything. Yeah, I’m one of those girls that eat like crap and never gain any weight. Though, that’s also probably because of the huge workout I get every night, being a dancer and all.

The walk back to the hotel was significantly less awkward. Brian and I chatted like everything was normal, and like this wasn’t an incredibly awkward first date.

“I had a really fun time, Dani.” He said once we’d reached the entrance. Time to go back to my non awkward life inside my hotel room. I couldn’t decide if I was happy about that or not.

“Me too.” I said sincerely. Because I did. Once I got over the whole butterflies in the stomach feeling. The food helped with that, I’m sure of it.

And the something strange happened. Brian leaned in closer to me and brushed his lips against mine. It wasn’t the most passionate and aggressive kiss ever, but at least it wasn’t done while AJ was standing right there. Regardless, it was sweet and innocent. A little bit awkward, but the perfect ending to our date. I guess. You’re supposed to kiss after a good date, right?

It’s really too bad I couldn’t figure out if the date was good, awkward or just allowing me to forget about other problems at hand.

The Best of Both Worlds
Seventeen: No More Lies

Those damn bodyguards never let me go anywhere alone. I guess it was for a good reason – those girls could spot me a mile away. But you know what? I was hungry, and I wanted a freaking hot dog. Luckily there was a cart just outside our hotel.

I wasn't without my disguise though. Yes, a fishing hat and sunglasses was usually all it took to fool those fans of mine. Hands in my pockets, I sauntered down to the entrance of the hotel to buy my food.

There is something about a hot dog that is just so comforting. Maybe it's all the childhood memories of summer or something like that. But hot dogs can really make all your problems go away.

That is unless you see your best friend and fake girlfriend kissing right before your eyes. What is that? I didn't know they were kissing now... when did all that start? I was so shocked I backed behind the corner of the hotel and in my haste I dropped my hot dog.

Great.

Okay, it wasn't like they were making out and all over each other, but still... what gives him the right?

Uh I guess that would be me telling Brian he could ask her out, wouldn't it? Dammit. I don't know why this even bothered me so much. I don't like her in that way. At least I don't think I do. Sighing to myself, I turned around to buy another hot dog and then get ready for our concert that night. I'd sort out my feelings on the issue later.

~~~

All I know is that seeing Danica dancing with Brian made my blood boil. How could I have been so blind to not see it? Especially when I knew it right from the beginning. Brian liked her, and he wasn't a bad guy. If I didn't step up my game, I was going to lose her to him.

And it was happening. Fast. I had to do something, I had to act quickly, show her what I had only just realized myself.

Quickly tidying up my hotel room I tried to think of what I would tell her. How was I supposed to sweep her off her feet... and was I even allowed to since she was dating Brian now?

I opened my door a crack and waited for her to step off the elevator. I must have been peeking out the door for five minutes before I heard girlish giggles at the end of the hallway. Of course that would happen. The one time that I need to talk to her alone, she's with the hoard.

I had to find a way to get her alone.

So I held my door open, waited and watched while four of our dancers walked towards me.

“Oh my God, Nick, what are you doing?” Katharine screeched as the four of them nearly walked past me.

“Waiting for you guys.” I replied stupidly. Well, I guess it was kind of true. But I didn't want them to know that...so why did I say it? Good question.

The four of them exchanged a glance. I hated when Dani hung out with them, I swear they lowered her IQ twenty points.

I cleared my throat. “More specifically, I was waiting for Danica.” I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

Again with the glancing! Do girls have some secret eye language that I can't understand? Apparently they do, because they all giggled and pushed Dani towards me. The crowd finally continued on their journey down the hall and I pulled Dani into my room.

She gave me a strange look, and I guess I couldn't blame her. She didn't know what was going through my head, hell I really didn't. All I knew was how I felt when I saw her with Brian... and it wasn't good. So I did the only thing I could think of to really tell her what I couldn't put into words.

I put my hands on her shoulders and kissed her pretty forcefully. In fact, I think I nearly pushed her into my now closed door.

And she kissed me back pretty eagerly, I could tell she was letting her guard down. Yeah, things aren't so awkward anymore, are they Dani? She moved her hands up to play with my hair. Heh, I always knew she had a thing for my hair.

I pressed myself up against her, kissing her softer than I had started out. Lacing my fingers with hers, I tried to lead her over to the bed, but it didn't really work.

As soon as I slightly pulled away and made eye contact with her she seemed to snap back to reality. She abruptly unlocked her hands from mine and pushed me off her.

“Nick!” She nearly shouted. “What the hell?”

I ran a hand through my hair – which she'd disheveled only moments ago. “What the hell what?” I asked her, sitting down on the bed. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Dani glared at me and put her hands on her hips. She blushed – or maybe her face was turning red out of rage. No, it had to be blushing. My Danica always blushed at the tiniest thing.

“You can't just... kiss me like that.” She said, shuddering and pacing around the room. I just smirked as I watched her. Even when she was angry and full of rage, she was adorable. “No, Nick!” She shouted, stopping and looking at me.

“Why not?” It was a valid question. I was sure she'd imagined me kissing her dozens of times. So why did we have to have a long drawn out talk about our feelings? Why couldn't I just kiss her and make love to her to show her how I felt?

God, listen to me, saying things like 'My Danica.' and 'make love.' I really have it bad.

“Because!” She yelled, looking up at the ceiling. She sighed and sat down next to me. “Because.” She said again, softer this time. “I can't just sleep with you, Nick. I can't do that unless I know what you want and I don't want –”

I cut her off by kissing her again. What? She was killing my passionate moment with her girly worries!

She didn't stop me right away, but she did stop me eventually. “Why are you trying to over complicate things, Nick?” Her voice was sad, and I don't think she quite got it. I think she thought I was just trying to get laid.

“I'm not trying to over complicate things, Dani.” I assured her, our faces were still only an inch apart and I kissed her again before continuing. “I lo–”

This time it was Danica who shut me up with a kiss. “Don't say that, Nick.” She pleaded. “Don't say that unless you really mean it. Unless you're ready to deal with what those words carry.” Her voice was shaking and she was blinking away tears. What was she crying for? This was supposed to be a good thing! Wasn't this what she wanted?

“Dani, I do.” I said, feeling desperate. Why wasn't she believing me? I'd waited too long, that's why. Damn it, Carter! I scolded myself. Why couldn't I have sorted my shit out sooner?

“Me too.” She replied quietly, tears falling from her face and landing on the bedspread. “But I can't!” She exclaimed, jumping up and wiping her eyes. “Brian.” She said sternly. “Brian! Remember him? Your best friend, who will flip his shit if he finds out we did this.” She yelled, gripping me by the shoulders and staring into my eyes.

“Do you have feelings for him?” It was blunt, but I already knew the answer, and I had to get my point across. Hell, a few more minutes of this and I was going to start crying too. Nobody wanted that.

She shook her head.

“Do you have feelings for me?”

She nodded slowly, biting her lip.

“Then he'll have to accept it.” I used my thumb to brush her tears away. I couldn't tell if they were tears of sadness for what we were about to do to Brian, or happiness that I'd finally come to my senses. Either way, she stopped crying and started kissing me again.

“I want to be with you, Nick.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“In...what way?” What?! It could have been taken a number of ways!

She rolled her eyes and laughed a little. “Both.”

That was all I needed to hear.

The Best of Both Worlds
Chapter Eighteen: Never Be The Same Again

I woke up the next morning feeling somewhat disoriented. You know that feeling you get when you wake up in a place you're not used to, and you freak out for a second before you realize where you are? Yeah, that exactly what happened to me. Well expect for the freaking out for only a second.

I sat up slightly and looked beside me. To my right was exactly what I predicted but somewhat hoped wasn't true.

Nick.

Granted he was sleeping, but I still felt terrified. The morning after is always awkward, and I get that. This was multiplied ten times by the fact that is was Nick – my best friend... or should I be saying boyfriend now? These questions were too difficult for first thing in the morning. See what I mean about the freaking out and how it lasted for more than a second? Yeah exactly.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Part of me wanted to bolt out of there. Of course doing that would mean I'd have to go back to room, causing Bev to ask me where I'd been all night, which meant I would have to rehash the entire evening.

See, that was something I wasn't sure about either. Part of me wanted to tell the world what had happened and gush about every single detail. Another part of me wanted to get the hell out of there and not deal with all the awkwardness of transitioning our relationship.

I couldn't do that to Nick though. Not after he'd put himself out there last night, told me how much he cared about me and seemingly came to his damn senses already. No, I had to stay and wait for him to wake up and have an inevitable awkward conversation.

So I slid down onto my back, pulled the sheets back over myself and stared at the ceiling. Trying to take my mind off the entire situation I started to count the larger bits of stucco on it. I think I made it to about fourteen before my thoughts began to wander.

I'd promised myself that this is exactly what wouldn't happen. That I wouldn't get all lost in my feelings and sleep with Nick as soon as he'd decided he wanted to be with me. I didn't want to be that girl who just catered to his every whim. But Nick made it seem to easy and effortless. He was just too desirable for it to not be.

Still, it wasn't how I wanted our first night together to be. Not in the least. I'd wanted it to be passionate and romantic and sweet and definitely not just on a total whim. I mean... I know he said all those sweet things to me, but I couldn't help feeling paranoid. What if now that we'd slept together all the mystery was gone and he didn't want me anymore? What if that's all he was in it for?

I guess there's not much I can do but lay here and wait for him to wake up. Can't really do much else can I? That doesn't mean my thoughts aren't driving me absolutely crazy.

And then it hit me. If I was worried about the awkwardness between Nick and I, it was nothing compared to the fallout that was going to happen with Brian. I'd gone on a date with him the morning before.. and now I was lying naked next to Nick? How fucked up was that? Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.

Thankfully, before I was able to beat myself up about this and worry anymore, Nick stirred. I quickly shut my eyes and pretended to still be sleeping. I didn't know if I'd be able to fool him at all... my heart was pounding in my chest as Nick woke up next to me.

He leaned over and gently stroked my arm. I pretended to stir in my sleep and wake up, but evidently it was of no use.

“I know you're awake Dani.” Nick said, and when I opened my eyes I noticed he had a smirk on his face. Damn he's cocky! I hated that.

Nick rolled over so he was nearly on top of me. Naturally the rules of gravity applied to the blanket and it fell off, exposing his bare shoulders. Taking a deep breath, I tried to stop myself from having a mild panic attack. “Morning.” I squeaked out. No, I didn't look nervous at all.

Nick just kissed the top of my forehead and rolled back to his side of the bed. “Relax Dani, you were perfectly fine last night.”

“Last night is not this morning!” I shot back. “The night before is always different than the morning after. I mean, in the night before, you let your guard down and totally give yourself to someone. The morning after you realize what you've done and you feel really awkward and confused and unsure. It's the worst.” I ranted, and Nick didn't say anything. He just sort of sat there and listened to it. Probably realizing more and more how crazy I was with every word. This was not good.

He just grinned. “I mean, we could just do it again if that'll calm you down.”

That was so not my point! I sighed. “Nick it's just...”

“Horribly awkward?” He finished my sentence. I forgot he was already capable of doing those things. I'm not sure if that makes this whole situation better or worse. Let's go with better since it means I don't have to explain myself as much.

“Yeah.” I finally said.

“And you think I don't feel awkward?” He asked.

I shook my head. He sure wasn't acting awkward!

He laughed a little. “Well believe me, I do. I mean, you're not just some random girl, so I can't kick you out of the room because I'll have to see you later. We weren't drunk so we can't act like we don't remember it.”

I raised my eyebrow. What the hell? Was this supposed to make me feel better? Oh, he was leaning over to me again. This time I didn't feel as nervous.

“It's awkward because you were just my friend who I laughed about stupid movies with and went to Burger King with. And now I just feel so in l-”

Before Nick could get the rest of that speech out I clamped my hand over his mouth. “Didn't I tell you last night not to say that?” I asked him sharply. This was getting way too out of hand. Did I like him? Yes. Did I love him? I was quite possibly starting to. Was I ready to hear him say that to me? Uh, NO! Especially when I knew all too well Nick's history with girls. He said those words so quickly and easily that I rarely believed he understood the actual meaning behind them.

“You said it yesterday though!” He replied quickly, moving off of me and sitting up. “You said 'me too'.”

“I know...” I couldn't explain it without really offending him. “I just want to wait before we say it, and let things develop a little more. Please.” I said, I was staging to feel a different kind of stressed.

“I don't get it.” Nick shook his head and looked at me. “What was last night to you then? Was it just something fun to do before you run off with Brian?”

“Yes, Nick, that's exactly what it was.” I replied sarcastically. When did he become such a drama queen? Jeez. “Come on, you know that isn't true!”

“Then what's the problem Dani?” He asked, and I could tell he was getting annoyed.

“Because!” I nearly shouted, jumping off the bed and bringing the comforter with me, holding it tightly against myself. “You always act so rash about everything. You can't just let things happen... it's always all or nothing with you. You don't ever think, you just do. God Nick, you're acting as if I don't know you at all but I do. I know how you act around girls. So please, can we just let our feelings sit for a while and our relationship develop a little more?”

I really don't think he appreciated my little outburst. “Yeah, whatever.” He said, and with a pretty bitter tone I might add. “I'm going to sleep more, see you later.” And with that, he pulled the sheet I'd left on the bed over himself and rolled over so his back was facing me.

I wanted nothing more than this weird morning to be over, so as quickly as I could I grabbed my clothes from the night before and walked back to my hotel room. Thankfully no one saw me as I made way down the hall wearing only a comforter draped around myself.

I opened the door to my hotel room and peeked around. Bev was nowhere to be seen. That was probably for the best, as I had no clue what I would tell her.

Crawling on to my neatly made bed, I pulled the comforter close and gripped it with my hand. I didn't know how was I was supposed to feel. I felt sick to my stomach over my argument with Nick, and I felt confused about the status of our relationship. I didn't know what was going to happen between us. Why couldn't I have just let him say he loved me and be done with it? I'd had exactly what I wanted and was blowing it.

I didn't want this turn out like Nick's other relationships. Passionate and fun in the beginning. But without substance and anything real. I couldn't let that happen to us, he was too important for me for it to fail like that.

Of course instead of going back to his room and telling him that, I just curled up in a ball on the bed and let myself cry about it.

The fact that the comforter smelled like him didn't help either.

~~~

A couple of hours later I'd showered and managed to somewhat pull myself together. We were still in New York for the day but I didn't feel like doing anything fun. I didn't even feel like visiting my Dad, who worked in the city. No, all I really felt like doing was moping around.

The guys were out at some interview so I knew I didn't have to worry about bumping into any of them. Thank God for that, because three out of five encounters in that scenario would be awkward.

I think I'm going to make 'awkward' my word of the day.

As much fun as it was pacing up and down the hotel hallways, I decided it might be best to get some fresh air. There was a coffee shop right across the street from the hotel. Coffee and a short walk is win win in my books I figured that was safe enough.

Turns out it really wasn't. As soon as I walked inside I was spotted by Darby and Kristal, who quickly waved me over to their table. Darby was the boys new manager from The Firm, and Kristal was one of their stylists. They were nice enough girls, I just didn't talk to them much because... well my life was busy enough with the whole Nick, Brian, AJ drama. Not to mention having to tell Bev every detail. Not today though, because apparently seeing the Statue of Liberty was more important than my Nick issues.

Whatever, a shame for her because today's installment was really juicy.

“Hey Dani!” Kristal grinned, shifting her seat over to create more room for me at their table.

“Hey.” I replied, forcing a smile. Keeping up appearances was not something I was prepared for. Where was my comforter when I needed it?

“What's wrong?” Darby asked, taking a sip of her drink.

If only she knew what a loaded question that was. I couldn't tell them the truth, now could I? Everyone besides Bev and Brian thought that Nick and I had already been together for quite a while. Though I guess I could tell them bits of it...

“Nick.” I replied glumly, chewing on the straw of an overly sugared drink that probably was not going to help my very apprehensive state.

“Trouble in paradise?” Kristal asked, with a small smile.

I nodded. “We had a fight.” I explained, but that wasn't entire accurate. “Well, more like I had a fight and he just listened to it.”

The two girls exchanged a look. I hate it when people do that. “Do you want advice, or do you just want to vent?” Darby asked me.

I wanted to very and cry and be told everything was going to be ok, that Brian was the worst and he deserved to be hurt like he was going to be, that Nick and I were going to be happy together no matter what and that I shouldn't worry about anything.

Even though I knew that wasn't going to happen I asked for their advice anyway. Of course that was quickly followed up by Kristal telling me they needed more information.

I sighed. I didn't feel like explaining the entire truth, but I could tell them the important parts leading up to our fight without getting into the details of the plan. The oh so brilliant plan. “We kind of had our first time last night...”

“Nick had his first time last night?” Kristal laughed in disbelief.

“No, I mean our first time together.” I clarified. “But that is kind of the problem. This morning we woke up.. and you know it was kind of awkward. Cause not only is our relationship different but now we've taken this step too. So this morning I guess he was trying to make things romantic or whatever, and he tried to tell me he loved me.” I finished.

Instead of saying anything, the two of them just looked at me as if to continue. “And you didn't say it back?” Darby finally guessed.

“Not exactly.” I admitted. “I also kind of stopped him from saying it too.”

“Why?” Kristal asked. Too much with the questions!

“Because...” It was so hard to explain. “He always does that.. with other girls he just dives right in and it crashes and burns. I need this to work. I need him to not act crazy and I need things to be perfect and work out the right way.” I told them, and expected a supportive nod and to be told that I was right.

Yeah, I didn't get that. Darby smiled as though she wanted to believe what I was saying. “Dani, you don't have to have everything planned out for you perfectly. How old are you, eighteen, nineteen?”

“Twenty.” I replied, not really understanding what she was getting at.

“So you and Nick are still really young. Why don't you just try to let things happen natrually instead of controlling the situation to make it perfect?” She said, emphasizing 'perfect' by making quotation marks with her fingers.

“That's what I'm trying to do! He's saying 'I love you' way too soon!” I exclaimed.

“Are you?” Kristal jumped in. “I mean if Nick feels like it's time to say that to you, shouldn't you be happy about it instead of worrying about the future? I don't think him saying that to you is going to impact your relationship in a bad way. If anything it's your overreaction that's causing the problem here.”

Darby nodded. “That's exactly what I was going to say.”

I thought about that for a minute. My need to over-analyze things really was the issue here wasn't it? Instead of having a sweet (albeit awkward) morning after with Nick, I'd turned it into a stress fest.

“You guys are right.” I finally said.

Again with the exchanging of glances! I was never able to do that with anyone and have them instantly know what I was thinking. Anyone except for Nick that is. Yet here I was, worrying about everything that had to do with him when I really didn't have to be.

I quickly thanked Darby and Kristal for their advice and headed back to the hotel. I had to sort out my thoughts, and I had to talk to Nick.

Unfortunately, talking to Nick wasn't the only important conversation I was going to have to prepare myself for.

The Best of Both Worlds
Chapter Nineteen: Conversation Hesitation

If I ever needed a reminder as to why I hated relationships, that was really it. And the reason I hadn't wanted to date Danica for the past two years that I'd known her? Yup, that was a nice reminder of that too. I was just being blinded by feelings of jealousy. Let Brian have her, he could deal with that crap all on his own, thank you very much.

I just don't understand where all of that suddenly came from this morning. I mean, it wasn't like she'd had an issue with saying she loved me the night before.

Okay, it really was more like “I love that...” Damn, I'm good. Heh heh. But guess that's not really the point. She'd seemed perfectly happy and content with me. This was what she'd wanted, wasn't it? It was me who was waiting and slowing the whole process down. So what was her problem?

I mean really, I thought 'I love you' was something every girl wanted to hear. I mean... not from me! I'm not that cocky. (Well maybe I am..) But from any guy they were with. I don't understand why she flipped her shit so much and why she wouldn't let me say it. It really made no sense if you ask me.

I mean I do love her...don't I? I definitely didn't like the fact that she was kissing Brian. I also didn't like watching them dance together. Danica was right about one thing... I do act sort of rash sometimes. So maybe me seeking her out was just a reaction to seeing her and Brian together. And maybe I didn't actually feel the way I felt, but I was just fooling myself.

Yeah, don't worry. That didn't make sense to me either.

I did have fun the night before. But I mean, every guy likes sex. It wasn't the same as groupie sex though, that's the thing. It wasn't even the same as when I was with Kels. It was different somehow, like I felt happy just to be with her. But maybe that was just because I'd been her friend for so long and known her so well.

God I sicken even myself. Brian is so much better was this romantic gushy crap. Him and Dani really should be together... because evidently whatever I do just makes her upset. Like I said before, this is exactly the reason I wanted to avoid this whole relationship with Dani. Way too much drama involved.

I still couldn't shake that feeling in the pit of my stomach, no matter what I tried to convince myself. But maybe that would go away once I told Dani this wasn't what I wanted. That I'd made a mistake last night. I definitely wasn't looking forward to telling her that.

But hey, maybe after her freak out this morning she'd realized she didn't want to be with me either. That I was too rash or some shit like that. Whatever she'd said. Yeah that really would be

“Nick!” Kevin cut into my thoughts. What now? Couldn't he see I was busy?

“Huh?” I replied stupidly.

“But we are two worlds apart?” He said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. What the fuck was he going on about? The others were fighting back laughter.

Oh shit. Right, we were doing a sound check. How could I have dazed off like that?

Because they're pretty damn boring, that's why. The same songs over and over again... Kevin yelling at us for some reason over and over again. The concerts were definitely better. There were never any screaming girls at sound check.

“Up late last night Nick?” AJ smirked. “Oh that's right, I forgot you weren't getting any.”

“Bite me, J.” He was obviously still bitter about the whole Danica thing. Ha! If only he knew.

But I couldn't quite brag, could I? Not with Brian standing right there. I mean sure, he'd think it was part of the plan.. but I would know better. And I'd feel like shit.

Howie sighed. “I'm really sick of this you guys. Can't you be mature about this and let it go? You're acting like teenage girls fighting over...well...”

“The Backstreet Boys?” Brian snickered. Even Kevin laughed a bit at that.

I hate them.

“Take it from the top guys.” Kevin said, and I took a deep breath, deciding to focus on getting through these songs. I'd deal with Danica later, in one way or another.

~~~

I'd done these concerts so many times that they seemed like second nature to me, and my mind often wandered. Even when I was dancing around the stage acting as though I was totally there, I usually wasn't.

Especially not that night. First of all, Danica was up on stage with us. I guess that was fair enough, she was one of our dancers after all. She would dance around with Brian and grind up against him. Fair enough... that's what she was supposed to do. I couldn't take my eyes off them. I wondered if the fans noticed. My guess was probably not.

I had to wonder how awkward that was for her. It was definitely awkward for me... and I didn't even know how I felt anymore. I mean I'd sort of decided I was going to tell her that it probably wouldn't work between us.

But seeing her with Brian brought back that unfamiliar feeling of jealousy and all I could think about was our rendezvous the night before.

It didn't help that throughout the show she kept shooting me little glances. What was that supposed to mean? I thought she was angry with me. See what I meant when I said she made no sense? Then she'd just bounce right back to Brian and continue dancing around him all sexy like.

God, if only the fans knew about the little soap opera playing out right in front of their eyes. They'd definitely be in for a shock.

Oh, but the most awkward part didn't even come until after the show was over. See, after our little argument in sound check, Kevin decided the five of us weren't spending enough quality time together. I shit you not. After touring together for the last I don't know how many months and spending nearly every waking moment together he organizes this stupid game night in his hotel room. Cause you know, apparently that other stuff doesn't count.

But at least I could avoid having an awkward conversation with Danica. Awkward really was the word of the day wasn't it? Jeez.

As luck would have it, AJ went out for a smoke at the same time Howie stepped out to make a phone call and Kevin went to get pizza. Of course that would happen. So Brian and I were left in the room to our own devices. Which normally wouldn't be so terrible.

Except that I had this huge awkward lump in my throat. I knew I should tell him about Dani and me... I mean I didn't know what to do about her, but I still owed to him to tell him that I'd slept with the girl he was so head over heels for, right? Or maybe I didn't, since they weren't official yet.

Or were they official? I didn't quite know the real answer to that. I know Dani had told me she didn't have feelings for him, but maybe in time she could learn to. Brian was probably a better match for her anyway. He could help mellow her out, and he probably knew how to deal with it when she flipped out.

He also probably wouldn't spoil it all by saying something stupid like her loved her. See what I did there? I amuse myself even at the worst of times.

“So.” I broke the silence. I wondered if it seemed as awkward to him as it did to me. I guessed not as he had no idea what was going through my head. “How was your date with Dani?” I couldn't help but ask him... inquiring mind want to know! Plus it would have looked weird if I didn't say anything about it.

He smiled. “It was nice.”

Nice. That sounded so boring. Nothing like the passionate love fest she and I had the night before! That's for sure. Oh sorry, passionate I-really-like-you fest. I wanted to pry for more details but I didn't want to sound like a fifteen year old girl either.

“That's good.” I replied, and quickly jumped into another conversation about the irony of “quality time”. I tried to forget about the whole situation, but it still lingered in my mind. I thought I'd had everything figured out, and now I was just right back to being confused and unsure all over again.

The Best of Both Worlds
Chapter Twenty: Complicated and Consuming

I always had the worst timing. By the time I'd decided what needed to be done, it was too late to talk to Nick. He'd already gone into soundcheck, and there was no way I would have been able to get him alone. After soundcheck they had a meet and greet, and I figured that giving him a big love confession and apology wasn't the best thing to do in front of the fans. Or AJ and Brian.

So instead of doing what I wanted, I glumly walked back to my hotel room. I felt sick and apprehensive. All I wanted to do was talk to Nick, and I wouldn't be able to for a while. It was consuming my thoughts and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Now that I had an action plan I couldn't even cry anymore. All I could really do was worry myself to death over it.

Yeah, because that was a good idea.

I got back to my room and saw that Bev was back. I contemplated telling her everything, but I really didn't want to hash out the whole situation again. It was just going to make me more upset and that definitely wasn't something I needed.

“Hey.” I said, forcing a smile on my face. “How was sightseeing?”

She shrugged. “It was okay. How come there's an extra comforter on your bed?” She asked, quickly changing the subject.

Damn her! I couldn't think of a feasible reason why I would have an extra comforter on my bed. I was going to have to tell her the whole story. That sucked.

“It's Nick's.” I said simply, letting her fill in the rest in her mind. Then I flopped down on the bed and laid against the comforter.

She was silent for a minute. “You slept with Nick!?” She finally exclaimed.

Remember that part where I said I couldn't even cry anymore? Well I was wrong. I could. And I was. Dammit. “Yeah.” I choked out, burying my head into a pillow.

That probably confused Bev to no end. “Was he really that bad?” She asked quizzically. I had to giggle through my tears at that.

“No.” I sighed, taking a deep breath to try to calm myself down. “He wasn't bad at all. We even did it twice.”

“Twice?!” She laughed. “Is he some kind of machine?”

I shrugged. “He must be, with all those stupid groupies he does.”

I sat up and looked at Bev. She was wearing a frown. Had I really been that transparent? I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions. Obviously she was able to tell something was up.

“Um, right.” She said, choosing to ignore my groupie comment. “I take it everything wasn't sunshine and roses after that.”

I cringed. See, now I was going to have to tell her to whole stupid story. She was going to tell me how ridiculous I was being about the whole situation. I was going to get upset and worried about it all over again, because I didn't have time to talk to Nick until after the show. That was in 5 hours. And those 5 hours were going to drag on and on.... I just knew it. It was the worst.

“Not exactly.” I started. Bev just raised her eyebrow, waiting for more. “I woke up all nervous and freaked out. Cause you know, it was weird.”

She nodded. “Well yeah, you guys have been friends for how long?”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “Anyway he finally woke up and he's all mister cutie patootie.”

She snorted. “Of course he was.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. And then he said he loved me.”

Bev just sat there for a minute before saying anything. It was kind of unnerving. “And?”

I got a bit defensive. What? You would too! “Okay well he didn't exactly say it. He tried to, but I stopped him... and I did that last night too. Before we did anything I stopped him from saying it. Cause he was gonna say it Bev!”

“That's stupid.” She replied, cutting into my rant.

Yes Bev, I'm well aware of that fact.

“I know!” I wailed, flopping face down into my pillow once again. Why didn't I have people coaching me and telling me how dumb my decisions were before I made them?

“No, I mean Nick's being stupid. He can't possibly love you after like... fake dating for three weeks or whatever.”

I peeked up at her. Was she actually agreeing with me? That was kind of cool. No one ever agrees with the over dramatic things I do.

“Yeah I kind of got annoyed with him for trying to say it and we had this big argument.” I mumbled.

“Well fair enough!” She laughed. “It's Nick. I bet he was only saying that to you because he thinks that's what boyfriends do.”

I sighed. It was nice that she was agreeing with me, but I should have known she would. She usually did, especially in situations like this one. “Yeah, but even if that's what he was doing, I don't think I should have gotten so upset about it.” I rationalized. “I mean, I talked to Darby and Kristal about it -“

“Their manager and stylist?” She clarified.

“Yeah.”

“You talked to them before you talked to me?!” She said in disbelief.

I rolled my eyes. This was not the problem at hand! “Well you were busy sightseeing. Besides, they had some really good advice. They said to not worry about it and basically take it one day at a time.”

Bev thought about that for a second. “They're probably right.” She finally said. “So what are you going to say to Nick?” She asked.

Good question. I hadn't worked anything out. I was just planning on saying... what exactly? That I was sorry? That I loved him too? I mean I kinda thought I did, but it was weirder for him to say it since he'd been so unsure! I mean it wasn't like he'd just had some blinding flash of the obvious, was it?

Damn, I was freaking out again. “I don't know. I guess whatever comes out.”

~~~

The concert was difficult, to say the least. First of all, I dance with Brian. That made things weird. Not that he was unprofessional at all, because he wasn't. But I just felt awkward. I knew I was going to have to break his heart... I was going to have to tell him about Nick one way or another. It wasn't fair to keep stringing him along like that.

Also, I'm pretty sure Nick was watching us most of the time. I guess I was guilty of that too. I tried to not make it obvious but I think he caught me looking at him a couple of times. I couldn't help it. Nick was at his best when he was on stage. He was gorgeous... I hated that. It didn't make our impending conversation any easier.

Or maybe it did. While I watched him all I wanted to do was cuddle with him and kiss him and have everything be uncomplicated.

Which would probably explain why I couldn't sit still at all on the bus ride back to the hotel. I practically bolted back to the hotel room to shower and change as fast as I could. I rushed out of the room so fast I barely heard Bev shout “Good luck!”

I marched down the hall to Nick's hotel room. When I got to his door I didn't even stop to hesitate or hash out my thoughts. I was just planning to go with whatever came out. So I knocked.

And nothing.

I leaned my head against the door, trying to hear if maybe he was in the shower or something. The shower didn't sound like it was on. Weird. So I knocked again, a little harder this time.

Still nothing.

I sighed. He wasn't there, and I was going to have to wait longer to talk to him. I didn't know if I could handle that.

“Are you looking for Nick?” A voice asked me. Oh, I might be saved! I looked up to see myself face to face with Kristin, Kevin's girlfriend.

“Yeah.” I replied. “Are they all out together or something?”

She laughed a little. I didn't think it was very funny! “Yeah, they're in our room. Good luck getting Nick away from them though, I'm not even allowed to be a part of bonding time.” She said, making air quotes as she said 'bonding time'.

Score! I guess I wasn't going to have to wait very long after all. I quickly thanked Kristin for the information and walked the few steps down the hall to Kevin's hotel room. Hopefully he would let me talk to Nick for a few minutes.

Why did they even need bonding time, anyway? Were they not getting along well or something?

Well, I guess I could look no further than myself for the answer to that question.

I could hear them watching movies, so I quickly knocked on the door. I tried to make it as loud and forceful sounding as I could without banging on it.

Kevin answered it really quickly. Normally I would have been intimidated, but I really wasn't. At that point, all I cared about was talking to Nick and setting things right.

“I need to talk to Nick.”

Kevin just shook his head. God, I hated his authoritarian attitude sometimes. No one he drove Nick crazy. “We're having a movie night. You can talk to Nick afterwards.”

“Come on, Kevin.” I pleaded. “You guys spend enough time with each other as it is.”

He sighed. “We just needed to spend some time relaxing as friends and not as a band. Nick and AJ especially.” He explained. “I wonder why that could be?”

Ouch. I was really bothered by that comment, but I tried not to let it show. I peered a little past Kevin and noticed Nick sitting on the bed with Brian. They were watching something and laughing hysterically.

I hated the fact that I was about to ruin all of that... But was it fair to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of their friendship? I didn't think it would cause that much of a problem. Brian would get over it eventually...right?

There was no turning back now anyway. I ducked under Kevin's arm and practically ran towards Nick.

“Dani what - ”

He started to talk and presumably ask me what I was doing. I didn't give him time. Instead I let passion take over and gave him the only signal I knew he would understand. I kissed him. It wasn't forceful, not like I pushed him down on the bed and started ripping his clothes off or anything like that. Which probably wouldn't have been a great idea seeing as Brian was sitting right next to him and the other three guys were in the room.

In hindsight, kissing him probably wasn't the greatest idea either, but I wasn't exactly thinking straight.

I just kissed him softly, and hugged him as tight as I could.

He didn't say anything, I think I might have shocked him.

I pulled away from him and somehow managed to not notice Brian's shocked expression staring right at us. The other three had gone back to watching the movie, not caring about the scene playing out in front of them.

“I'm sorry Nick. I just didn't know what to say to make it better.”

“That sort of said everything, didn't it?” He stammered, but quickly recovered and managed to give me a small smile.

“So we're good?” I asked, feeling a bit uncertain. I didn't think it was going to be that easy. Then again I didn't want to hash out the whole thing with everyone in the room either. That part could wait. I just needed him to know that I was sorry. I needed to know that we were okay despite everything.

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. We're good.”

That was all I needed to know. After giving him another quick kiss of the forehead I quickly left the hotel room and shut the door behind me. I breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was going to be fine. I felt great for about twenty seconds until I realized what I'd just done and how much I'd probably confused and hurt Brian by doing it.

I could only hope that he would be understanding about the whole thing.

The Best of Both Worlds
Chapter Twenty-One: Should've Could've Would've

I hate girls.

No, no. Let me rephrase that. I hate the mindgames that girls play. And I hate the way they can be so mad one minute, and so perfectly happy, lovey dovey kissyface the next.

I can't believe I actually said "lovey dovey kissyface" without being ironic. But moving on...

She just had to go and do that didn't she? Danica really is starting to earn her reputation of being a drama queen in my eyes. What was she thinking, kissing me in front of Brian like that? Why doesn't she ever think anything through? Not that I really care about this whole 'quality time' evening with the fellas, but I think after that little intermission it's safe to say that's been thrown out the window. Oh, and wait a minute what was causing us to have this 'quality time' in the first place? Oh yeah, that's right. Danica and her God damn plan. I swear if I ever hear the word "plan" again in my life I'll run away screaming.

So why had I told her we were good? I mean... I guess she and I were good. Everything strictly concerning Nick and Dani was fine. Great even. (Hell if I played my cards right I might even get laid again tonight. Or tomorrow. That'd be nice. I deserved that after all this drama.) Except that everything didn't just concern Dani and I. I also had Brian to worry about, and that was going to be a tough one, seeing as he was sitting directly behind me when Dani decided to attack me with her lips.

Yeah, that was going to be a fun one to explain.

"You know what, guys? I think that was enough quality time for one day." Kevin said, getting up and switching off the TV. Oh, thank God for Kevin sometimes. He could tell shit was about to go down.

But I knew I wasn't going to get out of this so easily. I had to talk to Brian, there was no escaping it. And it was going to be awkward and painful and -

"Night." Brian said before ducking out of the room. What? Could I really be getting off that easily? There was no way.

AJ and Howie both left in a rush too, of course not without a little roll of the eyes from AJ.

I might be blonde, but I wasn't stupid. Maybe I wasn't going to get a lecture from Kevin. I stretched my arms and stood up. "Well, guess it's time - "

"Sit your ass down, Carter."

Damn. I should give myself more credit. There was no way I was going to get out of this without a lecture. Still, I couldn't decide what was worse. A lecture from Kevin, or a heartfelt chat with Brian. Maybe that was something I could think about while Kevin droned on. I usually tuned him out anyways.

"Did you want to discuss the movie?" I asked him innocently. I was just digging for more trouble at that point.

Kevin sighed. That was never good. "No, Nick. But I do need to talk to you about this whole Danica situation."

I didn't say anything. When getting a lecture from Kevin, that's usually your best option. Just let him keep talking and saying what he needs to say to 'get his message across'.

Of course, he continued. "It's starting to get out of hand. Do you really know what you're getting yourself into?"

Okay, Kevin. It wasn't just 'starting' to get out of hand. The hand was empty by this point. "I've had girlfriends before, Kev."

He shook his head. He didn't even yell. This was the worst kind of Kevin. See, angry Kevin is mostly just funny because you can laugh at his nostrils flaring and his serious eyebrows. Disappointed Kevin wasn't that bad, because you know he did stupid things in his past too. But Kevin full of advice just makes you feel guilty and self reflective. I hate being self reflective.

"You know what I mean Nick. You really should have some serious conversations before you go any further with this Danica thing."

I knew that already. "I promise I'll talk to Brian. And I'm sure AJ will get over it.

"You do need to talk to Brian, you also need to talk to Danica." He said, nodding his head a bit. I must have looked confused, because he explained. "You and Danica have been friends for a long time. You should talk to her and make sure you guys are on the same page so you don't risk your friendship with her."

Yeah, ok. I guess that made sense. I hated having serious talks though. I really was no good at them. Why do you think I was dreading talking to Brian so much? "And Brian?"

Kevin made a face I couldn't read. Was it actually possible he was having a hard time figuring this out too? "Brian knows you didn't mean to hurt him. You just need to tell him that. He'll be okay."

Well, I had to hand it to him. For once he actually managed to make me feel better. Who knew there was actually a helpful Kevin?

I stood up to leave and gave him a weak smile. "Thanks, Kev."

~~~

The walk to my hotel room felt longer than it should have. What was I supposed to say to Dani? I didn't really know what I wanted out of my relationship with her, so how could I know if we were on the same page or not? I mean, I definitely knew I didn't like her kissing other guys. But I was also only nineteen years old. I didn't know if I wanted some big serious relationship either. This was going to be a tough one.

Either way all I knew was I had to get up early, and I was just looking forward to some sleep. Of course, as luck would have it there was no comforter on my bed. What the hell? Did the maids forget to put it on there when they made up the room? Did they even make up the room, it still looked like a mess.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. The lazy maids were not the issue here. The issue was that I seemed to remember someone walking out of my room in a big angry huff with my comforter draped around her. Which meant I was going to have to now retrieve that comforter and thus have that stupid talk with her. Because as much as I hated to admit it Kevin was right. Before things could progress with Danica I did have to talk to her. And if I went to her room things definitely would progress.

So much for sleep.

Another deep breath and I was knocking on Dani's hotel room door. What I wasn't expecting was for Brian to open the door.

"Uh. Hey." I said awkwardly. "Is Dani here?" What a stupid question, considering it was her room.

"Yeah. She's here." Brian said. "I was just on my way out anyway." He turned back to look at her before sneaking past me and leaving the room. What was all that about?

"Dani?" I said quietly as I walked into the room. She had her head in her hands and didn't exactly look happy. I touched her wrist and she moved her hands away from her face, wiping her eyes a bit. "Did he do something to you?" That was another stupid question. I knew Brian well enough to know the answer to that. I guess I was just sort of looking to not have to face reality.

"No." She choked out. "He didn't. We did something to him though." She started to cry again, and threw her arms around my neck. You'd think I'd be used to crying girls by now, but I really didn't know how to deal with this.

I tried my best though. "It's okay Dani. He'll get over it."

She pulled out of our embrace and kissed me forcefully. Before I could realize what was happening I was kissing her back and - hey! This was progressing! I couldn't progress with Dani before we talked about things! God dammit.

"Dani." I tried to talk but she just kept kissing me. And now she was trying to take off my shirt. "Dani." I said again, moving her hands away from me. "We need to talk."

She looked shocked and heartbroken. I probably could have used better words than I did. Oops. "No!" I quickly corrected myself. "Not like that. I mean, we just...should talk..."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm so sick of talking, Nick." And she started kissing me again. "I can't do anymore talking."

I couldn't really argue with that logic.

The Best of Both Worlds
Chapter Twenty-Two: Don't Fight, Don't Argue

I left Kevin's hotel room feeling a lot better and lot more sure of the future than I had in a very long time. Finally, I didn't have to worry about my relationship with Nick, or what was going to happen with us. Everything was coming together nicely. And why shouldn't it? I deserved that much... didn't I?

So, smiling, I walked back to my hotel room. I might have even pranced a little bit. I was definitely on cloud nine.

The room was dark when I entered it, I figured Bev was out with some of the other girls. I was mildly disappointed, I kind of wanted to tell her that everything was okay with Nick and I. Gushing to your friends about how everything is fine and great is the best part about being female. Well, maybe that and girl talk when you're upset.

I flopped down on the bed and grinned up at the ceiling. It was such a weight off my shoulders.

It wasn't two minutes before there was a knock at the door, interrupting my happy thoughts. I bounced over to the door, thinking it might be Nick and - oh shit.

Good-bye happy mood. It was nice knowing you. I was face to face with Brian. Kinda forgot about him. Oops.

"Hey." I said awkwardly. It wasn't midnight yet. Awkward could still be my word of the day.

"Can I come in?" He asked sharply. This gave me a bit of a shock - I'd never seen Brian mad before. I'd seen him sad, sure, when he first found out that Nick and I were 'dating'. But never mad. I didn't even think it was possible.

"Yeah, of course." I meekly replied. No good was going to come of this. My eyes drifted to the ceiling again as Brian made his way into my room and sat down on the bed.

"So you and Nick are kissing now?" He wasn't going to beat around the bush, was he?

"Yeah." I didn't know what to say, or how to explain myself. I felt like total shit. What I did was so not cool, I didn't even think about Brian's feelings at all.

"Just so we're clear, you're kissing both Nick, and me, now." He tried to make eye contact with me, but I sort of avoided it. I was very interested in the carpet. "You know, you can sit down. I'm not going to bite." That was a bit of a softer tone. I think it made me feel worse.

I glanced at him and nodded. This was not going to go well. Sitting down on the bed I took a deep breath. I tried to think of something, anything, I could say to make this better. No words came out.

"Why not just date him in the first place? Why go through all of this mess?"

I pressed my lips together. "I didn't mean to." I finally answered.

He nodded, maybe even smiled a little. I didn't think it was a happy smile though. It was more of an 'of course you didn't.' type of smile. I sucked.

"I know. I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me. You obviously had feelings for Nick, and he obviously reciprocates them."

I totally sucked. "I couldn't. I mean, I didn't think it was ever going to happen with Nick. I gave up on him."

He kind of glared at me. At least, the most I'd ever seen him glare anyway. I could tell he didn't really know how to feel either. I sort of wondered what his conversation with Nick was going to be like. Maybe he would punch him. Or maybe he would get AJ to punch him. I decided Nick was probably going to get punched.

"So I was just your consolation prize then?"

And that was all it took. I was totally the one who deserved to be punched. I came up with this brilliant plan, I hurt one of the nicest people in the world, and I was the one reaping all the benefits? How was that fair? I buried my face in my hands and tried to stop myself from sobbing uncontrollably. It only sort of worked.

"No! Not at all! I mean, I just... I'm so sorry." I choked out.

Brian didn't say anything. So I just continued crying my face off and trying to convince him I didn't mean to hurt him.

"Nick was just like, a stupid crush you know? It was just...all the fun of us pretending to be dating and then it was actually fun and with you it was fun it just wasn't like passion and I just needed the passion and then Nick just kissed me out of nowhere and told me." I don't think I took one breath during that entire explanation. After that we were both silent for a really long time. Except for me. I was still crying.

Finally, Brian spoke. "Nick kissed you?"

I wiped my eyes a bit. "Yeah. Last night he pulled me into his hotel room and kissed me."

He nodded again. "So he just kissed you. After telling me it was okay to go on a date with you. And that he was cool with it."

Had Nick told Brian that? I didn't know that part. That was kind of douchey of him. It also didn't make much sense. "Why would he do that?" I wondered.

"You tell me." Brian said, as if it were obvious.

Touche. "Don't blame Nick... I don't want to ruin your friendship. This is all my fault." It hadn't even occurred to me before that moment that I might have caused some permanent damage. Brian and Nick were like best friends. If I messed that up forever, I don't know how I could live with myself.

"I didn't say it wasn't your fault." He replied bitterly.

Just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore, a fresh set of tears came. And we sat in more silence, which was soon broken by a knock at my door.

I was torn. Part of me wished it was Nick, and another part of me hoped for anyone else. It didn't take long for me to find out though, since Brian walked over to the door and opened it. Something I was sort of grateful for. I was a mess.

I didn't really listen to their exchange, but of course I knew right away it was Nick who was there. Brian left without saying a word to me, which I was honestly grateful for. I didn't think I could take another minute of that.

"Dani?” Nick said as he sat down next to me. I wiped my eyes, but didn’t say anything. “Did he do something to you?”

Oh Nick. How did you go from being mister passive to mister protective in a matter of two days? “No.” I managed to say. “We did something to him though.” It was all I could get out before crying again. At least this time I had someone to hug. That was nice. I knew I was making him feel awkward. I didn’t care that much.

“It’s okay Dani, he’ll get over it.”

I couldn’t talk about this anymore. I wanted my passion with Nick back. I wanted the passionate night we’d had before, I didn’t want all this drama. I’d had enough serious talking for one day.

Apparently Nick hadn’t. “Dani.” He said. I tried to stop him but it was no use. “We need to talk.”

WHAT? I pulled away from him, shocked and disgusted. Had my sobfest with Brian been for no reason? Was Nick really going to do this to me?

Thankfully, he read my mind (or my tear stained face) and answered my question. “No! Not like that! I mean, we just...should talk...”

Yeah we probably did need to talk. But not right at that moment we didn’t. “I’m so sick of talking, Nick.” I admitted. “I can’t do anymore talking.” I knew I’d be able to sway him. I needed to be close to him. I needed to feel like everything we had gone through and were going to have to keep going through wasn’t for nothing.

He didn’t try to push me away from him anymore after that even though he clearly had something important he wanted to say. Whatever it was, I think we’d both agreed it could wait until morning.

The Best of Both Worlds
Twenty-Three: Not to Blame

I woke up the next morning to something I had never experienced before. Well, that’s not entirely true. Things like this had happened, but not exactly like this. Danica and I had woken up next to each other the morning before, but that was different. It had been awkward and neither of us knew what to do. This morning, well it was still kind of awkward, but sort of comfortable at the same time. I don’t really know if that makes a lot of sense. I looked over at her, still sleeping.

If there was something I could have done to make everything better and to make all the drama go away, you can bet I would have done it. As much as I wasn’t looking forward to talking to Brian, it was just something that I was going to have to do eventually.

I don’t really know that it was fair for him to talk to Dani first. Whatever he said obviously upset her, and it really should have been me that he was angry at. I mean I guess the whole plan was Dani’s idea and all, but I was the one who’d been dicking around not knowing if I actually wanted to be with her or not. I was the one who told Brian it was cool for him to date her, and that I didn’t want to be with her.

So of course what did I go and do? As soon as I saw them together I got crazy jealous and took her from him because I thought it was my right or something... because we were fake dating. I don’t even fucking know.

Yeah it’s okay, you can say it. Dick move, Nick. Dick move.

Either way, there was nothing I could do about that now. Brian was royally pissed off and I had to fix it. I didn’t really have a choice. We had to spend all of our time together whether we liked it or not and eventually Kevin was going to give me hell.

Speaking of Kevin, there was a loud knocking on the door which jolted me awake. Not that I wasn’t already awake, but you know that kind of awake where you’re conscious but kind of still sleeping and thinking about stuff? Yeah, that’s what I was doing.

“Get up Nick! We have to be at the airport in fifteen minutes.”

Fuck. Looks like even though we’d had a nice heart to heart, Kevin was still Kevin. At least that was still normal.

Danica woke up quickly too. I mean, who wouldn’t? Kevin’s not a quiet guy.

“Mornin’” She said, her eyes still sleepy. It was adorable. I hate being a lovesick moron, but with her I couldn’t exactly help it.

“Hey.” I replied quickly, kissing her on the forehead. I jumped out of the bed and started getting dressed in my scattered clothes from the night before. “Our flight leaves soon. Kevin is pissed.”

Dani rolled her eyes, but I knew better. I knew she was scared of Kevin. “Okay.” She said, giving me a sad smile. As I tossed clothes her way, she quickly got dressed. “Nick...”

“Yeah?” I looked at the clock on the night stand. It was 6:15 in the morning. I could probably blame my tardiness on the fact I’d only had about three hours of sleep. For a second I thought I might be able to sleep on the plane, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Not with serious talks and the fact that we were 35,000 feet up in the air. I hate flying. Today sucked.

“Thanks for last night.” She said finally.

“No need to thank me, baby.” I grinned. I knew what she meant, but I didn’t want this to turn into a big serious feelings fest. There was going to be enough of that later.

I guess she understood, because she just smiled, jumped off the bed and grabbed her bag.

As we left the room, I looked at the bathroom. A shower would have been nice. That was first on my list of things to do once we got wherever we were going.

Dani squeezed my hand and gave me another one of those sad but hopeful smiles she’d had on her face all morning. “See you later.” She said before wandering off to meet the other dancers.

“Mornin’ fellas.” I said, as I met up with the others. I scratched the back of my head and tried to look casual, but I don’t think I succeeded.

“Finally lose your virginity last night, Carter?” AJ snickered. Kevin gave AJ a look, and he shut up though. I didn’t say anything back.

The thing was, I couldn’t care less about AJ’s stupid comments, because that’s all they really were. I don’t even think he was mad at that point; he just liked to push my buttons. I could probably still hang out with AJ and things would be fine. I couldn’t even look at Brian though. Not without feeling like total a total shit.

Kevin just went on with our morning huddle like it was business as usual. I guess it was just another day for everyone else. Maybe I was reading way too much into things. Dani’s drama queen-ness was rubbing off on me probably.

I had to say though, I liked our little morning meetings. Just the five of us, no one else. That was kind of nice, since we were always surrounded by a bunch of people we didn’t know telling us what to do. It always made me feel like we were in this together, and it was about us, not about some managers wanting to make money off us.

Not that morning though. That morning I just wanted to skip all that and go right to the end of the day.

Eventually the (painfully awkward) meeting was over and our bodyguards escorted us into the elevators. I thanked God that I was riding down with Howie, and that the others were in another one. That made it much better.

“Nick?” Howie said as the doors closed.

I kept staring up at the numbers above the door. “Yeah?”

“Brian’s going to get over it.”

I turned to look at Howie. “What?” I mean I knew Kevin knew... but I didn’t think the others knew. As far as I knew the others thought Dani and I had been dating the whole time.

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out.” Howie said, giving me an obvious look. “But Brian’s going to get over it, just talk to him.”

I sighed. “That’s what everyone says.”

Howie laughed. “That’s because it’s the truth. You’re his best friend; he’s not going to let this ruin things between you guys forever. He’ll understand eventually. Besides, you and Danica look really happy together. Everyone can see that.”

I love Howie.

~~~

I hate flying. You have no idea. I can’t sleep on the plane at all, and I feel nervous the whole time until the plane slows down after we’ve landed. You’d think that after all the flights I’ve been on, it would be old hat to me now, but nope. Not at all. Never going to happen, man.

This was of course made worse by the fast that I was sitting right beside Brian. I was sure that was Kevin’s doing. I mean, I knew I had to talk to him, but I also knew I didn’t really want to. Evidently Kevin knew that too, so he pushed us together. I guess it was for the best. I guess.

The plane started to take off and I started tapping my foot on the ground, like I always did when I was really nervous. Brian just looked out the window. That made me feel really weird. Usually I think he would have tried to calm me down to take my mind off things. I couldn’t really blame him. He probably wanted me to suffer a bit.

I looked directly in front of myself and studied the tray (which was in its upright locked position) very carefully. It was only a two hour flight. Only two hours and I would be safely back on the ground. I was going to get on my knees and kiss it.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe if I calmed down a bit I’d actually be able to sleep, because those three hours was really getting to me. My eyes felt really heavy, plus if I fell asleep I might not have to talk to Brian. It didn’t seem like he wanted to talk to me anyway...

I was jerked awake for the second time that day, but this was a lot more terrifying. I know, more terrifying than Kevin? Trust me. We were going down, and I’m not even fucking kidding. The plane was taking a nose dive towards the ground, or at least that’s what it felt like. The pilot was shouting things over the intercom, and the flight attendants were freaking out, moving carts and stuff.

That’s how I knew it was really bad. If you want to know if you’re okay on a plane, just watch the flight attendants. If they’re okay, you’re okay.

We were definitely not okay.

I thought about everything that was fucked up in my life. Danica wasn’t on our plane, she was on a different flight with the other dancers. She’d be crushed... I wanted to tell her I loved her. Or that I really liked her a lot. I didn’t think she would have minded me saying it that time though. Not when I had like 5 minutes left to live.

And suddenly my fight with Brian didn’t matter any more. I grabbed his hand and held on to it for dear life.

“What the hell, Nick?” He nearly shouted, pulling his hand away from me. The fuck? I mean, I knew he was pissed at me but this was a life or death situation here!

I closed my eyes, this was not happening, this was not happening...

When I opened my eyes again, I was still holding Brian’s hand, and he was giving me the most confused and angry look I’d ever seen him give. I pulled my hand away from him and looked around. The flight attendants were pushing carts around normally; Kevin and Kristin were sitting normally, reading their books and the plane was definitely not moving downward at top speed.

“We’re not crashing anymore?” I asked Brian stupidly. I didn’t really care that he was annoyed with me. Life. Or. Death.

He still gave me that annoyed look. “We were never crashing, Nick.”

AJ popped his head up from the seat behind me. “You fall asleep for an hour and you have a plane crashing dream?” He laughed in disbelief as he fell back down into his spot. I shook my head and looked at Brian for support.

“Sorry, Rok.” I said sheepishly.

“It’s fine.” He replied, gazing out the window again.

I sighed to myself. This sucked. I might as well started having my talk with him, now that I’d already got the ball rolling with my (very real) plane crash freak out. “I meant... I’m sorry for everything. With Dani...and stuff...”

That got his attention away from the window. “You’re sorry?”

“Yeah...” That was what I said!

“Do you expect me to just say it’s okay and pat you on the back?” He asked bitterly.

“Yeah...I mean no.” I didn’t know what I was supposed to say.

“Why’d you do it?”

I looked around. Kevin and Kristin were still reading their books, but Kevin was probably listening. AJ and Howie were both wearing headphones, probably sensing the impending drama that was about to come from in front of them. Why couldn’t Howie go into peacemaker mode?

I guess because I had to get myself out of this mess. I wasn’t very good at that stuff.

“I didn’t mean to. I mean, I know you expected me to say that, but it’s true! I didn’t have any feelings for her, and I didn’t think I was going to. She liked me... but I couldn’t turn her down because I just didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want her to not be friends with me...”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “So you’re only sleeping with her because you didn’t want to turn her down?”

No! God, why wouldn’t he let me finish? “No... that’s why I told you that you could ask her out. I thought if she fell in love with you instead she’d forget all about me. She probably would have been better with someone like you anyway.”

He looked hurt. That was probably the wrong thing to say... but it was the truth. And I still kinda felt like that. That Dani would be better with Brian. He was better at relationships than me, but yet here I was trying to fix everything.

This time he didn’t interrupt me, so I continued. “But I saw you guys kissing and I just felt sick. Like she should have been kissing me, not you, you know?”

“She was on a date with me, Nick. I think it was fair game that she was kissing me, and not you.”

Okay, fine. He was right about that. “I know. I was just jealous. Cause I realized I was being stupid and scared... cause Dani was my friend and if I wanted to date her I’d have to respect her and not be a total relationship wad... I didn’t know if I could commit to that. But when I saw you with her, I just wanted to take her from you and I know I suck but that’s how I felt.”

Brian looked away from me and out the window again. “And you couldn’t just tell me you were feeling this way? Instead of me finding out from her running into Kevin’s hotel room and kissing you?”

“I was going to tell you... I didn’t know she was going to do that...” That was a total lie.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You had chances to tell me, and you didn’t.”

He knew me too well, but I had to level with him. “Look, Bri. I’m sorry, that’s really all I can say. She wanted me though... there was nothing either of us could do about that. If she wanted to be with you instead she would have chosen you, but as soon as I told her how I felt she was right there with me.”

He was quiet for a minute. The flight attendant came by and asked us if we wanted anything to drink. Brian shook his head and I contemplated ordering beer for us. Beer always makes things better between dudes. I knew that if I did that, Kevin would interject and not let me anyway. That and it was like nine in the morning. So I just asked for a Coke.

“I’m happy for you guys.” He finally said.

Did I just hear that right? “What?”

“I’m happy for you. I’m hurt that you didn’t feel like you could come to me, but you’re right. She wants to be with you.” He smiled for the first time since we’d sat down next to each other.

“Do you think that makes her stupid?” I asked cautiously. I sucked at relationships. I knew I was going to end up hurting her.

“No.” Brian replied at the same time Kevin said “Yes.” from in front of me.

I told you he had been listening!

“I’m not a good enough boyfriend for her.” I said, playing with my fingers. I was sure that was what Brian thought too, that he would have been much better with her than me. He was probably right about that, but what could I do?

“I don’t think that’s true, Nick.” He seemed to be back to reliable, advice giving, non hating me Brian. That was nice... I was happy it was so easy for us to go back to normal. I guess Kevin and Howie were right after all. “Just show her you love her.”

I scoffed. “I told her that I did and she freaked out.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say tell her. I said show her.”

See? He was so much better at relationships than I was.

“How?”

“Just do something nice together. All your relationship has been up to this point is drama and angst.” He advised.

He was definitely right about that. The thing I’d liked most about being friends with Dani was how much fun we’d had together. We’d done none of that since our whole relationship started. “Thanks Bri... are we good?”

“What?”

“Is everything cool with us now?” I thought it was, but you never know.

Brian smiled, he even laughed a little bit. “Yes Nick, everything is cool with us now.”

I wanted to give him a hug. When the plane finally touched the ground and slowed down I felt more relief that I probably ever had in my life.

And no, I didn’t actually kiss the ground.

The Best of Both Worlds
Chapter Twenty-Four: Freedom

I may run and hide from you screaming my name...

I didn’t speak to Nick that entire day. I know, it’s kind of weird, right? But I just didn’t have the chance, we were on separate planes, and then when he landed he was off doing press and God knows was else.

We never get the opportunity to talk to each other while getting ready for the shows, either. So you can image how awkward things were up on stage.

I couldn’t even look Brian in the eyes after the conversation we’d had the other night. It made me feel way too guilty, even though while he was performing he was a completely different person. He just danced and sang like everything was normal, which I guess was all he really could do.

But let me tell you now there are prices to fame...

Nick acted normal with Brian too. They were goofing around on stage like they always did. I didn’t know if it was because they had made up or just because they didn’t really have a choice.

I looked out at the crowd. I wondered how many of those girls would hate me if they ever found out (and I knew they would eventually) about Nick and I. I guessed probably a good number of them. Kevin hadn’t even told the fans yet that he was engaged for fear of the backlash. I would probably get killed in my sleep.

If those girls would hate me just for hating Nick, how would they react if they knew what I’d done to Brian? And I guess AJ, to a lesser extent. I was hoping that part would never, ever get out.

All of our time spent in flashes of light...

As usual, when the concert ended the guys would run as fast as they could to their busses. The rest of us dancers were of course already gone long before them, but I had to talk to Nick. I couldn’t wait anymore.

I didn’t want to have a confrontation with Brian though. That was definitely something I wanted to avoid. So after begging with Denise McLean, she agreed to let me wait on Nick’s bus for him. I felt like an insane fan, but I didn’t care. I had to know what was up.

So I sat myself down on the seating area of his bus and waited for him. It didn’t take that long for him to coming bounding in with a towel draped over his shoulders. I grinned, he was adorable. Even if he was drenched in sweat.

“Holy fucking shit Danica. You scared the hell outta me!” He shouted when he entered the bus, looking at me in shock. Oops. I guess I shouldn’t have sat there all creepy like after all.

“Sorry.” I said sheepishly. “I just missed you.”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled and sat down next to me. “I missed you too.” He replied, and leaned over to kiss me. It was a messy and sweaty kiss, but I didn’t care. I was still feeling like crap for all the drama I’d caused. At least being with Nick made it feel like it was worth it.

We were silent until we got back to the hotel. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, really. It was more of an “I’m glad we have some time together” type of silence. It was nice.

Unfortunately for me our nice moment of silence was ruined by the fact that the bus stopped and we were at the hotel for the night.

“Hurry it up; there are fans in the lobby.” Nick’s bodyguard, Frank, said as he ushered us off the bus. I followed close behind as he and Nick entered the hotel through the back door.

“I need a shower.” Nick announced once we were safely in his hotel room, leaning back against the door.

“Me too.” I agreed, and leaned over to kiss him. Instead of kissing me back, He pushed me away. What the hell?

“Go to your own hotel room, and get ready. We’re going to go out.” He stated.

“What?” He couldn’t have been serious. “Nick, it’s like, midnight.”

He only shrugged. “We don’t have to get up that early tomorrow. Just go get ready, see you in half an hour.” He grinned and pushed me out the door. So much for rest and relaxation.

I walked back to my own room, reasoning that I was going to have to go back there anyway to get some different clothes on. Of course as luck would have it, I almost walked straight into Brian on my way there. I would really, really like to know why that kind of thing always happens to me!

“Oh, um, sorry.” I stammered. Awkward!!

He just sort of looked at me and sighed. “Let’s just forget it happened, okay?”

Well, that was awfully blunt, wasn’t it? I couldn’t blame him though. After all the drama and hurt feelings, blunt was probably the way to go. “Yeah, sure.” I agreed. I went to shake his hand, and he studied it for a second before finally accepting. “Did you make up with Nick?” I asked carefully.

“Of course.” He replied. It still sounded kind of bitter. “Nick’s my best friend.”

I cringed. “Yeah, I know. I’m really sorry - ”

He held up a hand to stop me before I started rambling on. “I’d really just like to forget about it.”

Fair enough.

~~~

Just as Nick had instructed me, I was waiting outside his hotel room door half an hour later. I was exhausted, but I didn’t mind too much. Technically this was going to be our first official ‘date’.

He didn’t disappoint. As if on cue Nick opened up the door to his room, making eye contact with me.

“Ready to go?” He asked, holding up his arm to link with mine.

I smiled. “Definitely.”

After gathering his bodyguard to follow us, Nick and I opted to walk around searching for a place to eat. I’d actually got dressed up for the occasion, so I kind of wanted to go somewhere nice. Surprisingly, Nick agreed with that.

“Steak?” He suggested as we passed yet another brightly lit up restaurant.

I wrinkled my nose. I guess Nick took that as a hint.

“Sushi?”

I shook my head.

“Chinese?”

“Nah.”

After what felt like an hour we finally stopped in front of a Burger King. I hated to admit it…but God a whopper sounded good right then. I looked up at Nick and grinned.

Nick gave me a look. “Dani…no. We were supposed to go somewhere nice.”

“Burger King is nice!” I protested. “They have nice… counters…”

Nick raised his eyebrow. “And a nice self serve drink dispenser?” He said sarcastically.

I wasn’t about to give up though, and I knew Nick would be easy to convince. “Come on.” I said, dragging him into the store.

“Fine.” He said. See? I told you it wouldn’t be hard! “But don’t say I didn’t try to get you to go somewhere nice on our first date.”

Just like that, twenty minutes later we were back in Nick’s hotel room eating whoppers and mozza sticks like everything was normal again.

“Give me one of those.” Nick said, as he reached across the bed for one of my mozza sticks. I tried to swipe his hand away but he was too quick for me.

I rolled my eyes. “You could have just ordered your own.”

He just grinned. I hated that grin - it was all he had to do to get away with murder. “I know, they’re just so much better when they’re stolen.”

I took a bit of my burger and shook my head. And that is the story of how Nick and I spent our first official date all dressed up nicely, eating fast food. To tell you the truth I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

The Best of Both Worlds
Twenty-Five: Questions

“Do you have a girlfriend, Nick?”

I froze a bit. That shouldn’t have been a hard question. I mean, it never had been before. Do I have a girlfriend? No, I don’t. Not if I still wanted a career anyway.

But things were starting to change... I didn’t have to answer that question a certain way anymore, and the answer wasn’t an automatic “No” anymore. Kevin had admitted to having a girlfriend, and obviously the fans had known about Kels since she had been an opening act on our tour.

I didn’t know if I was ready to explain Dani to the rest of the world though. Hell, I’d had a hard enough time trying to explain her to Brian and trying to understand her myself.

I guess that was sort of the reason I gave a glance in Brian’s direction. Maybe because I wanted some kind of confirmation from him that it was okay. That he’d accepted it and could move on. He just nodded at me... probably wanting me to just answer the question. I think I had a stupid look on my face the whole time. It shouldn’t have been a hard question. Yes or no really.

Except that yes wasn’t ever just yes and left at that. They wanted to know her name, how long we’d been together and everything about her. The fans would hate her. Well, not all of them. Some of my fans were sane. But only some of them.

“Yes.” I blurted out finally. I couldn’t really answer no anymore since I’d taken so long to think about it.

“Is that Kels?” The interviewers never missed a beat. Stupid Kels.

“Um...no.” I responded. It probably would have just been easier to say yes and left it at that. Me and my big mouth.

She just raised her eyebrows at me. “Really? Well who is the lucky lady then?”

“Dani...er, Danica.” I choked and stumbled on my words. I sounded stupid.

It must have satisfied her though, because she moved on to asking Brian the very same question.

Of course his answer was different than mine. He’d just said that he didn’t and the interviewer lady made some comment about him being an eligible bachelor. If only the fans knew what had been going on behind the scenes.

“What are you planning to do when the tour is over?”

I didn’t have to worry about answering those types of questions, Kevin always handled them. Sometimes I found that annoying, but at that moment I was grateful. It gave me time to think.

Because, really, what was I planning to do once the tour was over? That was coming up pretty quickly. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I knew that I was going to be recording the next CD with the other guys. I knew there was going to be promo, a first single, a video shoot and eventually another tour. My life was just an endless cycle. What about Dani? When our tour was over would she go look for another dance job? She couldn’t just follow me around all the time, she had her own career too. Or maybe she’d go home to New York and hang out with her family.

I guess I just had to try to talk to her about that stuff. Maybe she could still tag along with me for a bit. Or she could come to visit me in Florida. That would be cool.

As a side note, I do have to say I enjoy how the girlfriend questions always come before the tour questions and the album questions. Good to know these magazines have their priorities.

After they asked us about a bazillion more questions we (mostly Kevin) had already answered before, we were finally free. Well, free to start getting ready for our show that night anyway. I told you my life was just an endless cycle.

Soundcheck was pretty uneventful. That was nice, considering all it had been for the last little while was tension and arguments. It was nice to actually just stand there and... check the sound.

“Hey Nicky.” Kevin said to me as we were leaving the stage. We were the only ones left. How did he always manage that?

Nevermind, I know how. Because I’m always off in my own little world and he’s usually reminding me to keep up with the others. So when he wants me alone he just has to do nothing and it’ll eventually happen.

“Yeah.” I said, looking at the ground.

“I told you that you’d be able to work things out with Brian.”

I guess he was looking for praise on his lecture from before. Kevin always has to be right, and when he is right he makes sure you know it. “I know.”

“Did you talk to Dani too?”

I knew he was going to ask that. “No.”

“Might want to get that out of the way before the tour ends.” He advised. Damn Kevin, he was probably reading my mind during the interview. That, or he knows how my brain works. It was probably the first one.

“I will.”

And for once, instead of continuing his lecture, or explaining why he thought it was so important, he just left it alone.

Well, not completely. Since he was still a couple of inches taller than me he was still able to ruffle my hair. “The little man is finally growing up.”

Damn Kevin.

~~~

“I love this song.” Dani said as she flipped to MTV. It was that stupid Britney Spears video. I’d met Britney a few times, she was nice enough I guess. She hung out with Nsync a lot, and I definitely didn’t get along with them.

I wrinkled my nose. “That song’s boring.”

Dani just laughed. “She has the same writers as you do.”

I suppose she had a point there. “Yeah, but those songs are better suited to people who can actually sing.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure she can actually sing, Nick. She did get a record deal after all.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” I said, sort of bitterly. I already explained how the actual music is the last thing this industry cares about.

We were both silent for a minute before Dani spoke up. “I was thinking of trying out for her new tour...” She said almost shyly.

Aha! I knew there had to be a reason why she’d mentioned Britney. “You have enough experience for it.”

“I know.” She said quietly.

I think she and I were both thinking the same thing. With her on tour with Britney and me doing whatever else...who knows when we’d get to see each other? I guess now was as good a time as any to have that talk.

“So um...” I didn’t really know how to start.

“What’s going to happen with us when the tour is over?” That probably would have been a good way. Dani was always better at this stuff than I was.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to keep seeing each other?” She asked, moving closer to me.

That was a stupid question. “Obviously.”

“But how are were going to actually...you know...” She looked over at the TV. The video wasn’t Britney anymore. It was some commercial for a stupid looking original movie. From what I could tell, the movie was mocking me and the other guys. Not cool, MTV.

“See each other?” I finished.

“Yeah....I mean I guess I could come visit you sometimes, and you could come visit me.” She suggested.

I nodded. “Would that even work? You know how busy I am all the time. And if you go on a separate tour you’ll be busy too.”

She shrugged. “I’m sure there would be times when we could find time for each other. We’d still have the phone and stuff.”

I hated the phone. But I guess I could deal with it for her. “That’s true.”

She took my hand. “We’ll make it work.” She said, giving me a hopeful smile. I kissed her, wanting to assure her she was right. If we’d gotten through this tour, we could get through anything.