“Como està, mi niña?” The smile in Nick’s voice couldn’t be hidden. As much as he had loved his latest adventure, he missed home now more than ever.

Why? Partially because of the little miss Rosalie who answered the phone. He missed her bouncing curls, her chocolate chunk eyes, her weight on his lap as he sat at his drum set with his arms around her and his hands covering her pudgy fingers as they “made música together”. And of course, her interminable Spanish lessons.

Thing was, the suckers were working. He felt almost fluent.

Hearing Rosalie’s sad sigh, he tuned in to her words, pushing back other memories to the side for the time being, like those of her mother’s curves in his arms. “Estoy okay.”

“Solo okay? Suenas triste...” She sounded worse than sad, she sounded downright forlorn.

“Si, Nicky. Te extraño!”

Hearing that she was sad because she missed him made his heart swell. And his impatience for his flight the next day grow stronger. “Me extrañas!? Bueno, te tengo buenas noticias!” At least it was good news for him. He needed his girls.

“Que?”

Giggling at the image of her hand on her hip as it swiveled out to make an impudent remark, he announced his news. “Mañana me voy a casa.” Yes, another mañana. This one meant coming home again.

“Mañana?”

“Si, tontita...Martes. Como te lo prometi.” They’d spoken off and on while he had been in LA this time…it was a long trip out there, and finally it had gone from 2 months, to 2 weeks, to one week and now, just as he’d promised, it was tomorrow. Mañana.

“Oh. Todavia estoy aprendiendo los dias.” This preschool stuff was great, but days and keeping it all straight, today, tomorrow, next week, yesterday, last month or her favorite, yester-night, well, it all got jumbled up in her almost four year old head.

And hell, he could understand her confusion. He screwed up days all the time. So, it was quiz time…even for him! “Que dia es hoy?”

“Um, hoy tuve escuela y Mami estuvo en casa ayer, es Lunes!” It was the only way she could keep it straight…what happened on what day. The school day after Mommy was home for two days had to be Monday.

“Bien.” Nick sat for a second trying to remember the word for ‘next’…wondering what suitcase he’d dumped his Spanish-English dictionary into. As he was about to give up and use English, it came to him. “Y el dia q sigue es...”

“Martes! El dìa de Nicky!!” Tuesday…Nicky’s day. The day she’d been waiting for for 2 long months now.

“Muy bien!! Rosalie mi dia...esta mami alli?” And it was Rosalie’s day for Nick. Well, Rosalie and Solana. Which signaled the end of his wait to talk to her. He needed to hear Lani’s voice again. Because the next time he’d hear it, it would be as he was looking into her eyes. Mañana.

“Si, esta aqui. Te amo, Nick.”

“Te amo, baby.”

“Mañana?”

Chuckling at her childish doubt, he answered most assuredly. “Mañana, Rosalie, mañana.”

Todos las mañanas. All of them. Together. Even physically apart, all of their tomorrows were together now. It could be no other way.

“Hey, baby…listen to all that Spanish!” Solana gripped the phone tightly wishing she could grip onto the voice inside. Soon. Soon.

Huffing on his knuckles and rubbing them haughtily on his chest, Nick spouted his pride. “Hey, I’m a good student.”

“She’s a good teacher, too.” Winking at her daughter, Solana shooed her off to the family room so she could have a private conversation. She ached with want for him. This was almost the longest they’d been apart since he grouched his way into her life over a year and a half ago, no less since they’d finally stopped fighting their love for one another only months before.

“That she is…are you picking me up tomorrow or should I get a car?”

“You’re kidding, right? Miss Rosalie will not permit me to stand by in boring old Ruskin while you get a car. We’ll be there.”

“Oh, I was hoping you’d come because you wanted to…not because you wanted to avoid a conniption from the princess.”

“I’d be the one having it. Can you promise me something?”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t ever be gone this long again. I hated it.”

“I offered you plane tickets, Lani.”

“I can’t leave her…”

“You can. You just won’t.”

Sighing with great frustration at the impending disagreement, one they’d had more than once before, Lani changed the subject. “Did everything go okay on your last day?”

“Yeah, had a little cast party and all. Now I just wonder if this thing will ever see the light of day.”

“Look, did you have fun? Did you learn something?”

“Yes, and yes…I don’t think I’d mind doing more movies, although I definitely need some acting lessons. I think I suck and everyone was just trying to be polite.”

Remembering his stint on a few television shows in the previous months, she smiled and was grateful he wasn’t there to see her eyes also rolling to the back of her head. Tom Hanks he was not. But the love of her life? Yeah, that he was and right now, that’s all that mattered. “More experience will help, too.”

“I know. Felt kind of stupid, but…I’m out of my element. I need to see a recording studio again.”

“Yep…get back there and you’ll feel at home.”

“No…not really.”

“No?”

“Home is with you, Lani. Only with you.”

Now her smile was coated in warmth and comfort. The kind of smile that only appeared in his presence, or in the presence of thoughts of him. In the presence of home. “Then get your Zippy Gigglebuns home. I need to squeeze and make sure they’re still fresh.”

His chuckle was soft and they fell silent, secret words being shared between them, anxious thoughts of their union keeping their breath fast and their hearts racing. So, it was time to go with the generic. “How’s the weather been?”

“Mierda. Rain. Gray. Blah.”

“It’s raining shit? Ew. I’m not coming home then.”

“Smart ass. Just bring me some sunshine, okay?”

“Will do. Te extraño, Lani.”

“I miss you too, Nick…like mad.”

“Mañana.”

“Si, Nick. Mañana.”

Rosalie jumped down from the chair and tugged on Ben’s shirt hem, totally unable to stop moving, dancing, fidgeting, singing. Ben’s patience was waning.

“When’s he comin’, Ben? We been waitin’ forever!”

“I know, Rosalie…his flight was delayed a bit. He’ll be here soon.” He scooped up the imp and took her to the magazine rack, hoping to find something he could buy to keep her busy for a little while longer. It seemed Solana had disappeared and taken residence in the bathroom. What did women do in there that took so damned long?

“Where we goin’?”

“Over here. Let’s see if we can find a Nickelodeon magazine…Highlights. Something.”

“Ooh! They have Blues Clues in there?”

“I hope so…let’s see.” Ben started flipping through the orange-laden magazine praying to a god he barely knew for an animated blue dog and his retarded acting owner. Either that or a pretty Latino mother to unearth herself from the john. “Ah…looky here, Ro. Blue, Spongebob…let’s see…Rugrats, this has everything. Want it?”

“Si, Ben. I want it. I’ll be quiet now.”

He pulled out a wadded five dollar bill from his pocket and paid for the blessed entertainment, shaking his head at the little girl. She knew she was being a pain. Kind of made it hard to stay frustrated at her. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go sit down and wait.”

As they got settled with their magazine and a pop for good measure, Solana strolled out of the bathroom with a wistful look on her face. “About time, woman…what’d you do? Flush yourself?”

Patting his leg and kissing her daughter’s head, Solana sat down, checking her watch and looking up toward the gates just in case the delay wasn’t as long as they’d been told. “Nope. It was quiet in there. I took full advantage of you. And I’m not sorry.”

“Oh fine. You owe me for this magazine then.”

She crooked her eyebrow up at him and lifted a finger to start counting off all the incidents of evil Ben had forced her to endure over the years.

“Okay, don’t even start. Never mind. Nick’s on me.”

“With any luck, he’ll be on me right soon.” She tried to mumble, but failed. This flight delay was playing with her common sense. Two months was bad enough. Two months and an hour and a half was inhumane.

Ben was busy dabbing the magazine dry from the pop he’d spewed at her bluntness. Rosalie was busy scolding. “What’s the matter, Ben? It taste bad? Lemme try.” She swiped the bottle from his hand and Ben just looked to Solana with his mouth hanging open.

She was oblivious.

And then, she was standing and grinning and before Ben knew what happened, she had disappeared into the small crowd that was streaming out of the gate area. He hoped she had the decency to wait until they were alone at home before she got “under” Nick. He’d never seen Miss Romero like this. He loved it.

The crowd split and Ben turned Rosalie’s attention back to the magazine to give them a moment alone. Fortunately, while Nicky was her #1 most of the time, when having to choose between him and Blue, well, the dog won.

“Lani, my god…I thought I’d never get here. Damned storms.”

“You and me both. Everything okay?”

He stopped in the middle of the walkway and dumped his bag at his feet, folding her in his arms, caring not who he might be blocking, who might see him, who might give a bloated report on the internet. His life was finally his own. His heart was where it belonged. Nothing outside of it mattered. She was warm and soft and smelled like…like Lani. Spicy cooking, ocean breeze, fruit scented shampoo and…whatever else it was that made Lani his girl. He laced his fingers through her thick chocolate waves finally stopping on either side of her face, pulling her up to him, meeting mouth to mouth, warmth to warmth, heartbeat to heartbeat.

He was home.

As they parted from their kiss, Nick kept his hands cupped around her face, having trouble taking his eyes from the hypnotic draw she had captured him in. A clap of thunder rattled the windows and jolted them out of their brief reverie.

“That reminds me, I have something for you.” Bending down to his bag, he unzipped it and gingerly pulled out a small bouquet of yellow daisies, still looking fresh and bright, a stark contrast to the gray carpeting and gray walls of the airport, the gray skies and gray rains darkening the view outside. “I brought you some sunshine.”

“Aw…yes, you did!” She took the blooms and sniffed, giggling because she knew daisies had little scent, but great color. A splash of sunshine in the weeks of rain and doldrums that had clouded her surroundings while he was gone. “Thank you.” With a sweet kiss to his cheek, she lowered from her tiptoes and picked up his bag. “Come on, Mr. Sunshine…someone’s been dancing to see you.”

By the time they got to Solana’s truck, Rosalie hadn’t left Nick’s arms or stopped talking. Ben had turned into a virtual bag boy, following steps behind, mumbling about the lack of appreciation for bringing people together, all the while smiling so brightly from the inside that he thought his heart was going to pop out of his shirt.

Miss Romero and Nick had only been “an item” over the summer thus far. Maybe it was because of the year that had preceded their union, or just the love that was impossible to ignore, but it shone brighter than anything Ben had seen in his life. Not that he’d seen a lot of real romantic love in his 14 years, but still…they were contagiously happy and he loved being around them. Even if it was just to carry luggage.

“Ben, you come sit up front with me, bud. I’ll catch up with the ladies later.”

Yeah, Nick had missed his girls. Of course. But he’d missed his buddy too. He wanted to hear how the end of summer went. How the beginning of 8th grade was going. If the house had sold yet or not, on and on and on. They talked little on the phone about such things, wanting to save them up for face to face time.

“Oh. Yeah. Sure…you driving?”

“Yep. Tighten up those seat belts…haven’t been behind the wheel for 2 months.”

“I tighten anyway, dude. You suck.”

Threatening to toss Ben in the back with the luggage, Nick finally pulled him into a hug, realizing they hadn’t even touched in the airport. “You been good?”

“I dunno, have you?” Ben gave Nick one more thump on the back and got into the truck, sticking his tongue out at Solana who was pretending to put on a good pout for getting relegated to the back seat. She needed some acting lessons too, it seemed. Dancing eyes didn’t work when you wanted to appear angry.

“I’m always good…ask Lani.”

“Um, no. I don’t wanna know…so, I have good news.”

Nick started the truck and maneuvered his way out of the parking garage, switching gears from spoiled celebrity to just good old Nick. The Nick he much preferred. “Hit me. I like good news.”

Ben punched him in the arm and made his announcement. One Miss Romero hadn’t even heard yet. “Well, the house finally sold. We’re moving in two weeks.”

Nick and Lani both let out a whoop of joy. It had been a long summer of showing the house, keeping it clean, constantly trying to fix up little things here and there and of course, finding a new place that would be big enough for their family. “And you have a house to move into too?”

“Yeah, it’s just a few streets away from Miss Romero…” Turning back to see her, he winked. “Lucky you.”

“Darned straight ‘lucky me’. I just got me 2 babysitters.”

“Is that all I am to you? Child care for your love fests?”

“HEY!” Rosalie might have been quiet, but it surely didn’t mean she wasn’t listening. To every stinking word. “You like babysitting me. I’m fun. You said so yourself.”

“Yes, Ro. You’re a blast. I was kidding.”

“Hrmph. Where’s my mazagine?” Rosalie wasn’t bi-lingual, she was tri-lingual. English, Spanish, and Rosish. It worked. Usually.

Nick pulled up to a stop light and looked to his passenger and then in his rearview mirror, smiling like a geek. Ben, of course, had to point it out.

“What dude? You look like you just saw Santa Claus.”

“Nothin’, Ben…it’s just nice to be home.”

“I ran the truck for some errands now and then. It should be good.” No more had Nick and Lani said ‘hello’ than it was time for another ‘goodbye’. This one, however wouldn’t last as long. A little Ben and Nick time and then he’d be at her place for dinner and…whatever.

“Thanks.” He pulled her in closer, letting her settle between his thighs as he leaned back against the closed hatch of her truck. He couldn’t stop touching her, capturing her eyes in his, filling back up on her scent, her smile, her presence. “I missed you so much, baby.”

“I know…this was hard.” She looked down, not wanting to ever be a girl who whined about his travel. She knew of it going in and it was something she understood would have to be a part of her life now.

“It’d help if you’d meet me sometimes. You did last year in New York.”

“Yeah, but that was before…”

“Before we were a ‘we’…yeah, yeah.” He stood up full, inadvertently pushing her away. Or maybe it wasn’t so inadvertent. “That makes no sense, Lani. Rosalie will be fine for a few days. Katy has said she’d take her, your mom…”

“Let’s not do this now, Nick, huh? You just got home.” Solana wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on Nick’s chest, hopefully wrapping up this conversation. She couldn’t explain it, it always ended up with one of them angry and after two months apart, she didn’t want to deal with it. Not that she ever did, really. He would just have to understand.

He agreed with a kiss to her head and a deep sigh. For now, she was right. It was time for a reunion, not a rehashing of spoiled moments. He breathed in deeply the scent of her hair, fruity and tropical like a well-made drink decorated with a paper umbrella. He was definitely home.

Pulling her face up to his, he kissed the tip of her nose and then softly, sweetly melted his lips into hers, realizing that no matter how long he was gone, he’d never forget how she tasted, the sweet moans that would escape her as they touched and played. He couldn’t wait to start playing again.

“Miss Romero, what do you want me to do with this big sack of garba-…” Ben slammed out of Nick’s garage with a squealing Rosalie slung over his shoulder. “Ooops. Sorry.” Pulling Rosalie down to her feet, he teasingly scolded, “Why didn’t you tell me they’d be kissing, huh?”

“You should know, Benny. They always kiss now.” Rosalie smoothed out her dress and ran to her mother, tugging on her hand. “Come on, Mami. You kiss Nicky more tonight.”

“Benny!? BENNY!?” Nick scooped up Rosalie and buckled her into her seat, kissing her hand like the princess she was. “He let’s you call him Benny!?”

“I call you Nicky. Why not?” If it made sense to Rosalie, it made sense. No more discussion was necessary.

“Only Ro calls me Benny…don’t even think about it, Carter.”

With one more brief kiss, Solana got into the car and glanced at her puckish child in the rear view mirror. “Have you asked Ben if you can call him Benny? Maybe he doesn’t like it.”

“Oh, he likes it.” Turning her attention to her Nicky, she patted his cheek. “Will you come over for dinner?”

“Yep. And I have presents.”

“Que me compraste?”

“No, no, no... Tienes que esperar unas horas.”

She didn’t want to wait, even a few hours, but Nick kissed her cheek and closed the door and before she could complain about the unfairness of life, they were backing up and out of Nick’s driveway.

Leaving Nick alone with…

“Benny???”

“Shut up. She’s cute.”

“Don’t you ever call me pussy-whipped again, dude.” Nick waved one more time as the truck disappeared around the corner and slung his arm around Ben. “So, Benny…catch me up on your life. I wanna hear every detail.”

“So, Patty’s got a man, huh? Good for her.” Nick tossed a can of pop across the counter to Ben and grabbed one for himself, popping the lid, taking a gulp and letting out a huge belch in satisfaction. “God, it’s good to be home.”

“No belching in the movies, huh?”

“Not while the cameras are running. I don’t wanna end up on some stupid bloopers thing with my first show.”

“They should just follow you around in real life, dude. You’re a walking blooper.”

Nick smacked Ben upside the back of his head and led him out back, grateful to have this young man back in his day to day life. At least for now. More work called, but he was going to do everything in his power to keep as much of it in Tampa as he possibly could. He had a life here now. A life he cared about and was going to cherish and nurture. He’d been dropping hints to his management while he’d been filming in California, so hopefully they would take him seriously. He needed to be here. For the Casey’s, for Lani and Ro, but also…for Nick.

“So, who’s the dude?” They took their favorite positions on the side of the pool, dangling their bare feet in the water, watching the rings expand and disappear with their slight movements.

“No idea. Mom won’t talk.”

“You’ve got to be kidding…then how do you know there is one?”

“She’s said so. Goes out. Gets all dolled up. She’s still losing weight and I guess…” Ben shrugged. He wasn’t happy that mom had a life outside of theirs. The last time she did that, it was drug related. While he knew…or at least believed this wasn’t the case, it still made him uncomfortable. Especially at her secrecy. “…I dunno. Maybe she doesn’t want him to know she has a houseful of kids.”

“I can’t see her doing that, Ben. Not anymore anyway.”

“Who knows. She won’t bring him over, won’t even tell us his name and always meets him somewhere. Sounds to me like she’s ashamed.”

“Damn…that’s not right.”

“It’s life. Kitty’s all serious about her guy. That’s all we hear about. Brad this, Brad that. He’s lucky I can whoop his ass at basketball. Otherwise, I think I might kill him.” Ben chuckled as he took a swallow of his drink, smiling inwardly at his last slaughter of the poor guy. Brad had about 4 inches on Ben, but Ben could jump and shoot and fake. And Brad? Well, the only thing Ben could see him doing well was make his sister a blithering idiot.

“See, this is why I’m glad I’m not at home a lot. I cannot deal with my sisters dating. And I know they do…all three of ‘em, but damn.”

“I know. He’s okay, but they’re all over each other. It’s like, could you possibly wait ‘til you’re alone? Then I look around and see none of us are ever alone.”

“Getting cramped?”

“Yep. I think knowing we’re moving makes the house feel smaller or something.”

Nick nodded and finished off his drink, belching again and tossing his can by the patio door. “So, when’s the moving date?”

“I think 2 weeks. House is full of boxes. Wait ‘til you see it. You thought I couldn’t find clean underwear before!”

“I just thought you didn’t want clean underwear.”

“Well, there’s that too…who gives a shit?”

Nick shook his head, both at Ben and at memories of those days. Days where clean underwear was just another thorn in your side. “So you’re finally getting your own room, huh?”

“No. I still have to share with Jack. Kitty gets her own room first.”

“Ah…well, I guess that makes sense. Liz and Amy sharing too?”

“Yup. But at least it’ll be a room, not the damned dining room.”

“Hell yeah. I shared a room with my brother until I moved out. You figure out privacy.”

“Did you ever get any girls in there with him hanging around all the time?”

Nick smiled and looked out to the gulf, missing his brother. He needed to get him up to Tampa before he got too busy again. Aaron had yet to meet Ben. That needed to happen. “Yeah, a few. Aaron’d be hiding under the bed sometimes…at just the right moment, the damn thing would bounce from the bottom instead.”

Ben cackled and tossed his empty can to the patio door, crashing it into Nick’s. “Dude…I would have loved to have seen your face.”

“You would have loved to have seen Aaron’s too when I caught him. Little shit.”

Ben looked to his friend, hearing a shift in his voice. “You miss him?”

“Yeah, was just thinking I need to have him come up. I want you to meet him.”

Ben nodded, obviously nervous. Obviously insecure in the natural brotherly bond that would exist between Nick and Aaron. It was visible whenever Nick spoke of his brother, so it was going to be hard to compete in person. “Liz sure loves him.”

“You will too. Might give you a run for your money in ball too. Kicks ass.”

Ben simply nodded again, sighing heavily, angry with his jealousy. The kid was Nick’s brother for god’s sake. Ben was just…what was he anyway? Just Ben. Nothing special.

“Don’t go getting quiet on me, dude. He’s my brother, but you’re my…” Nick struggled with a definition too. But not in the same way. He needed a word, a meaning just for them. One that would tell Ben how much he meant to Nick.

“…I’m just Ben, Nick. Don’t make it more than it is.”

“Hold up. Are we gonna go through this again? Family. He’s my blood, but you’re the family I chose. I’m stuck with his stupid ass.”

Ben snickered in spite of himself and stood, making sure to splash his ‘family’ as he unfolded. “You don’t seem too upset to be stuck with him.”

“Well, no…I’m not, but I’m not ‘stuck’ with you. Why can’t you get that?”

Ben shrugged and walked to the railing over looking the gulf. “I’m trying…it’s still too much sometimes.” He turned to look to Nick and couldn’t hide his smile.

“What?”

“I missed you. Miss Romero missed you…we all did.”

Nick got up and met him at the railing, wrapping an arm around Ben’s shoulders. “I’m here for a bit now, bud. Not in the mood to travel all over when I have you guys here.”

“Good. We need you.”

“Yeah, huh?”

“Yup. You gotta carry all the big pieces of furniture when we move.” Ben winked and rested his head in the crook of Nick’s arm, still amazed at how nice it felt to have a man around…even if he was still a growing man.

“Well, moving guy or not…I think I need you guys, too.”

“I think you do, too.”

After a quick trip to the Casey’s to say ‘hello’ to the rest of the family, Nick was finally pulling into Lani’s driveway, laughing Rosalie as she came crashing through the screen door. She had obviously been waiting at the front window for the first sign of his truck to come around the bend.

“Nicky! Nicky!” She ran down the steps of their porch and landed on the sidewalk with a thud, the skirt of her dress poofing up over her lavender panties. “You took long enough!”

“Rosalie…manners!” Lani followed not too far behind, struggling with being the responsible adult and feeling as excited as her young daughter. If she could, she too would have been bouncing on the couch, pressing her nose up against the window and jumping off of stairs, only to run into the arms of the man she knew would bring her peace and security.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you really missed me.” He winked his forgiveness of her blunt words and kissed the child’s face as she settled into his arms, and then turned his attention to the soft caramel of her mother’s face, closing his eyes as his lips met her silky skin. “Sorry…you know how Ben gets once he starts talking.”

“No problem…I’ll just warm up dinner and we’ll be good.”

And good they were. Just like a normal little family. Although, they weren’t…quite. But, to Nick anyway, it felt like home should feel. He knew where the silverware was, there were pictures on the refrigerator labeled ‘a Nicky’, the words printed in Lani’s script and the pictures carefully decorated in Rosalie’s wild splashes of color and shapes and moods. While Lani put the finishing touches on dinner, Rosalie took him to her room to share a few new toys she’s manipulated out of Mom and Ben and anyone else she could sweet talk. His shoes had been kicked off as he entered the house and he knew right where to put the serving platter after he had finished helping Lani with the dishes.

His heart was here, his love was here…but yet…

“Okay, Rosalie…time for bed. Go get your jammies on.”

“Mamí…I don’t wanna go yet. Nicky’s still here.”

“Yes, and he’s going to be here for awhile. Mamí and Nick haven’t seen each other in awhile…we need to talk.”

Rosalie sat back down on her chair and crossed her arms. “You can talk with me.”

“Rosalinda Maria!” Lani said not another word with her mouth, but the look in her eyes spoke volumes. Volumes that Rosalie understood albeit it under protest.

Her protest came in the form of stomping feet and pursed lips as she stormed into her bedroom and slammed her door.

“I can’t imagine where she gets her stubbornness.” Nick stood, stretching from his long flight, his huge meal and his overwhelming urge to pick Solana up from the couch, throw her over his shoulder and have his way with her.

“You hush…she’s driving me nuts lately.”

“You need a break, Lani.”

“Mmm…so you say. I can’t imagine siccing her on anyone right now. She’s going to drive me to an early grave.”

“She’s fine…she’s showin’ off for me.”

“Well, then go read to her…I’ll um…” Solana’s demeanor instantly changed from that of a concerned mother to that of a desirable and desiring young woman. “…I’ll be waiting in my room.”

Nick licked his lips in anticipation as she seductively turned and walked away. Vile temptress is all she was…he was convinced. Thank god. With a quick adjustment to his pants, he shook himself out of the dreams that would come true and headed in for bedtime patrol.

Rosalie style.

“Here, Nicky…I have a new book. Dora.” Rosalie pushed through a pile of books on her floor until she unearthed the one she wanted.

“Ah, Dora the Explorer, right? Lemme see.” Nick popped Ro on the behind with the book as she climbed into bed. “Wait. Stop. You’re all twisted. You’ll be a pretzel by morning…”

“I like pretzels.”

“Not on your butt…stand up.” She did as asked, kissing him on the forehead as he straightened out the elastic waist of her bottoms, lining up the seams with her middle. Liz was seven and still struggled with that…how come kids didn’t feel all messed up when their clothes were all wrangled like that? “Isn’t that better?”

The little imp shrugged and plopped into bed, pulling the covers back so Nick could cuddle in with her. “You read in Spanish tonight.”

“Uh, I don’t think I can read it, Ro…” He cracked open the book and gratefully saw only English.

“Yes you can. See?” She pulled a tab at the bottom of the page the words changed to Spanish. “Español. You read it.”

“But some of your letters are different. How ‘bout I read the story in English and we’ll see if I know the words for the things in the pictures in Spanish?”

Rosalie considered his compromise and agreed. “Okay, you’ll get them right. I’m a good teacher.”

“Yes, you are…but I haven’t used it much…let’s see.”

He leaned back against her pillows and opened an arm for her to curl into and they began. By page two, he had called Solana in for reinforcements. He felt like a moron as this little child corrected his pronunciation, reading and well-intentioned attempts at butchering her native language.

“What’s the matter, Nicky? You can’t read?” Solana sat at the foot of the bed, capturing his toes that were wiggling under the blanket.

“Not Spanish. Y’all have some funky ways of saying things.”

“No, y’all do…ours makes sense to me. What’s hanging you up?”

“Okay, here. They’re at the beach and she’s showing us a towel. I know the word is ‘toalla’, but that isn’t what it looks like.”

“Yes, it is…two l’s make a ‘y’ sound. Toalla. Always. No rules change.” She turned the page so Dora was at the farm and pointed to the chicken. “You know this one…”

“Pollo.”

“Right. So how is it spelled?”

“With two l’s? P-o-l-l-o?”

“Yep…look.” She pulled the tab down to show the Spanish word and winked up at her daughter. “You have to go slow with him sometimes, Ro…you know. He’s a boy.”

“Hey now…I’m trying here! Okay, so…go back. Ocean. I know the word again…océano, but it looks like oceano to me. I’m accenting it all funny.”

“That’s why the accent is there. Most words have the accent on the penultimate syllable.”

“You use too big words, Mamí…pentulti- what’s that?”

“The syllable before the last one. We use it in music, too. Okay, but if there’s an accent mark, then you accent there?”

“Yep…there are some words that the accent is at the end, but mostly it’s like that. Océano. Um…” She flipped through the book to find another example. “Here. El león. Lions bite when you call them ‘leon’.”

“Does it mean something else?”

“Nah, not usually…just that you’re a Gringo who can’t talk right.” She squeezed his toes again and stood to leave the student and teacher alone again. “One more page, Rosalie. You’re going to give him a brain cramp.”

“Buenos noches, Mamí.”

“Buenos noches, Rosalie…”

Nick looked down to Rosalie, trepidation creeping into his blood knowing he’d have to stumble over another set of words.

“You get it, Nicky…” Rosalie patted his cheek again, warming Nick’s heart and making him forget about penultimate syllables, double l’s, double headaches, and double trouble named Lani and Ro.

“Yep, Ro. I’ll get it. Okay, goat…” He pulled down the tab not knowing the Spanish equivalent and smiled. He could do this one. “El chivo.”

“Sí! El chivo. Maaaa-aaaa-aaaa!”

“Did I hear braying in there?” Lani stood at her window, soft candlelight bringing out the gentle waves in her chocolaty brown hair. She never turned when she heard Nick approach, just leaned back into his touch.

“Yes, we were at the farm with goats and sheep. Um, los chivos y…um…shit, I can’t remember.”

“Las ovejas.”

His arms slipped around her waist and the weight of his head settled onto hers. In moments the lovers’ breathing was in rhythm and no one else existed outside of the room, the house…Solana might as well have been looking out into a vacuum. When Nick was near, the whole world disappeared. “She wanted to know if I’d have breakfast with her in the morning.”

“She did, huh? You set her up for that?”

“Nope. I told her she had school and I sleep in too late.”

“Nice cover.”

“I suppose…I’m not sure I quite get why I can’t stay, but…”

She turned in his arms to face him, resting her head on his chest, not wanting to see the frustration in his eyes. “Nick, we’ve gone over this.”

“No, you’ve said ‘no’ and the conversation has stopped. She knows about us, Lani. She’s a kid, but she’s not blind or stupid.”

“She knows we kiss…and that when you’re home, you like to be with us. That’s all she knows. I’m not ready to explain to her why you’re sitting at her breakfast table in your boxers.”

“I’ll put on clothes.”

Lani sighed and pulled away, fumbling with refolding a blanket that didn’t need refolding. “You’re missing the point.”

“So are you. Why are you afraid of letting us be a couple outside of this room?”

She laid the blanket over the back of the chair and looked around hoping to find something else to do with her hands. This was not the way their reunion was supposed to go. “Is this the time to discuss this? I missed you, Nick…I want to be with you.”

“I’m here. All of me. I’m just waiting on you to show up.”

“Do we have to agree on this one thing right now for me to be here?”

“No.” He took the t-shirt she’d found to fold out of her hand and tossed it onto the chair alongside the blanket. “But we can’t keep ignoring it either.”

“Tonight…please. I need you.” Without another moment’s thought, she was sliding her hands up Nick’s shirt, kissing and licking his soft skin as it peeked out from under the fabric. He’d let her ignore it for just one more night. She made slow, deliberate work of his stomach, giggling as he flinched and squirmed under her touch as it rose up his abdomen.

Until she hit something cold. Pulling back, her eyes focused again and she saw a bright gold ring hanging from the nipple that used to have nothing. Before she reacted, she tentatively allowed her eyes to travel to the other nipple, barely flinching when his hands ran through her hair as they came back down from tossing his shirt up over his head. It matched. A gold ring.

“What the hell…”

“You like?”

“Um…how drunk were you?”

“Kinda…”

Finally her eyes traveled up to his face, totally unsure of the expression her face would share, partially because she wasn’t sure what expression her heart felt. But, there he stood, cheesy grin, a stifled giggle and just enough blush from admitting that it was a lost drunken bet that got him his new jewelry and she could do nothing but roll her eyes and shake her head. “So, um…are they fun to play with?” Her finger tickled up his tummy to the left nipple where she flipped it back and forth, causing him to squirm a little.

“They’re still a bit tender…I dunno.”

“You didn’t give them a trial run? Tsk, tsk.” Her finger flicked the other nipple ring, more gently this time causing more of a hiss than a squirm. “Ooh…you like that, huh? Hmm…”

And with that he was forgiven, their previous discussion was forgotten and Nick was thanking the gods of one drunken night in Los Angeles. His hands traveled through the lush fullness of her hair as her tongue worked magic on his nipple, the skin around it and the ring that pierced it. As her teeth gently pulled on the ring on his right side, his hands slipped down from their entanglement in her hair to her shoulders and finally down to her breasts, cupping them gently, rubbing a thumb over each slightly budded nipple as her tongue played ring toss with his.

With one tug, he hissed, with a rub, she moaned, with a squirm, his hand disappeared up her shirt and around her back, unclasping her bra and ridding her of both without missing a beat. She pushed him back onto the bed quickly ridding him of his shorts, kissing her way up his legs as she shed her own. Play time was over. Nipple charming was done. It had been two months, a million phone calls, a few disagreements and assorted email exchanges since they could taste each other. Smell each other. Feel each other. Become one with each other…the anticipation was foreplay enough.

As she slid her way up his legs, she straddled one, cradling the strong muscles of his thigh between her own and inched up slowly, slightly covering his leg with her wetness, causing him to moan and hiss once more as he took firm hold of her arms and helped her hover over her target.

She teased and danced over his tip for a few moments, flirting with his eyes, flipping the nipple rings one more time before their passions would become center stage. “God, Lani…please.” He tried to force her down, but her legs were too strong and she tormented a little bit longer.

But she could take no more tormenting, the wait, the expectancy, the look in his eye almost doing her in. As she reached between her legs to take hold of his shaft, she stopped once more and sank her chocolate brown eyes into the oceanic blue of his. “I love you, Nick.”

“I love you, Lani…”

And they were one. One in time, one in space, one in heart, mind and body.

“I don’t have to do what you tell me.” The Latino boy stood firm, trying, by sheer will, to be taller than his current nemesis. His body height wasn’t doing it at the moment. Authority had never been his friend, and this woman was no different.

“José, you do. That’s why you’re here…now, sign off the computer. Your time is up.” Miss Romero tried to keep her body language from expressing her frustration. If possible, a confrontation wasn’t necessary. The boy was more in control than he realized.

“I’m not finished.” He turned back to the machine and plopped down into the chair and began clicking away at anything…anything to look busy.

“Yes, José. You are. Now or you lose your privileges until next week.”

“No one’s waiting to use them.” Click. Link. Surf. Click.

“José. Rules are rules here at the center. You knew when your time was up and should have budgeted accordingly.”

“I can’t tell time.” Click. Read. Click.

What José didn’t realize…or remember from his first days at the center, was that Miss Romero had access to the main power switch and she would use it whenever the urge struck. Which would have been when he decided to go from difficult to downright impudent. His screen went black and as his eyes flashed to Miss Romero’s, she returned his glare with a smile. “Well I can. Time’s up. Outside with you.”

Unfortunately, what Miss Romero didn’t realize was that while José might be physically smaller than she was, and only eleven years old, his history of a vicious temper, a mighty punch and a lack of respect for any adult is what got him sent to the center for after school hours in the first place. He stood quickly, knocking the chair onto the cement floor with a loud crash and charged toward her.

Her arms went up immediately in defense, but when no one hit them, she slowly peeled her eyes open, only to see him squirming and fighting against a roadblock.

A roadblock by the name of Ben.

“You got a problem, José?”

“Yeah, her. Who does she think she is?”

“Your worst nightmare if you don’t calm down, dude.” Ben continued pushing back while José flailed and pushed forward, failing against Ben’s taller stature and sheer determination of keeping him from hurting anyone, particularly Miss Romero. Finally, José fell back against another computer chair with a thud, flinching once more to try to get up only to be pressed down further into the chair. “Don’t even think about it.”

Ben looked back to Miss Romero and sighed at the irony of it all. At one point he was the butthead in the chair huffing and puffing, making an ass of himself. Barry had usually been the one to intervene in those days, but now…here he was, defending Miss Romero, his life saver. Solana, his friend.

“You okay?”

“Yep. Thanks.” Looking to the insolent boy, Miss Romero shook her head. “This will be written up. Shame…it didn’t need to come to that.”

José squirmed against Ben’s strong hand on his chest one more time, flames of anger shooting from his eyes. “Fine. Write me up. They can’t do anything to me!”

Miss Romero disappeared behind her office door and Ben pushed José further into the chair, using more force than he knew the center would probably permit. “You touch her and ‘they’ will be the least of your worries.”

“Why, pussy…you gonna do something about it?”

As Ben stared him down, he could feel José’s body relax a bit, apparently seeing that this battle was not going to be won. Ben backed up when the anger in the boys’ eyes slipped into at least a trickle of repentance. “Right now, we’re gonna go out and I’m gonna beat your ass at ball.” It worked for him, why not José…get his anger out on the court.

But, José was not going to easily give up. His arms crossed in front of him and a whispered expletive slithered from his mouth. “La puta.”

Ben’s hands landed back onto the boy’s chest and his eyes shot blue daggers of hatred into the deep brown of this foul mouthed kid. “Do you think I’m stupid and deaf!? You’ll say not another word about Miss Romero, you go it?”

“What? You’re her hero and you know Spanish? What are you, Superman?” Seeing Ben’s anger rising, José took one more stab at tormenting him. “What’s it mean anyway, genius?”

“It means that you’re more stupid than you look. Now let’s go play ball…”

José leaned back and relaxed again, figuring he could weasel his way out of this…even if it meant admitting a weakness. “I suck at ball.”

“Good, then I’ll really get to beat your ass.” Picking him up by the shirt collar, Ben bore one more glare into the youth’s eyes to make sure he understood who was in charge now. As soon as José had lunged at Miss Romero, he gave up any rights to leading any decisions for awhile. Calling her a ‘cunt’, however…his life was going to be a living hell around Ben from now on. “Out. Now.” He pushed him back and had to smirk when the putz obediently headed toward the door and grabbed a basketball.

It was going to be an interesting year, that was for sure.

“Can you believe that idiot?” Ben grunted as he picked up a large box marked ‘kitchen’ and awkwardly made his way to the front door with it. They should have taken Nick’s offer of hiring a mover. This shit was for the birds.

Nick followed with his own box, not saying much at first. He was having too much trouble stifling his amusement at Ben’s exasperation with the new difficult child at the center. Truth was, he was just like Ben had been when Nick first met him. After sliding their boxes into the truck, they sat on the open doorway, wiping their brows of sweat, hoping it’d be at least a few moments before one of the girls showed up with another box. “He’ll learn. You did.”

“I wasn’t that obnoxious.”

“Oh. Okay. Right, dude. You were just a diamond in the rough, huh?”

“Let’s not go that far…I’m still pretty rough.”

“Mmm…a real gangster. He’s just testing to see how far he can get there. Keep on him and he’ll see it’s not fun.”

Solana came out with a box and a smile, so she was quickly forgiven for making them get up and lug it onto the truck. “Drinks, boys?”

“Yes…where’s that cooler you brought?”

“Kitchen. You walked right by it.” Ben and Nick looked at each other and shrugged, plopping back down onto the truck bed, too tired to go back inside. “Would you like me to get you some…you both look like hell.”

“Thanks…yes, please.” She shook her head at them and put one hand on one of each of their thighs, leaning in for a kiss on each of their cheeks. “We’re only half way done, boys.”

“Mmm…don’t remind me.” Nick pulled her in for a more passionate kiss and Ben made vomiting noises.

“Good God, would you two fucking get a room!?”

“We’re not fucking, so we don’t need a room.” He popped Lani on the butt as she walked away and shook his head at Ben and his sudden old man glare. “José. Finish your story.”

“No more story. I whooped his ass at ball…he really does suck.”

“So make that your goal. Teach him and he can be a devil on the court instead of in life.”

“Since when am I supposed to help some stupid kid?”

Nick turned his gaze from straight in front of him into Ben’s forged innocence and blinked, continuing to stare at the odd teen. Words were not needed to point out the irony of his comment.

“Do you hear yourself?” Nick shook his head and chuckled. Irony was only the beginning of it. “Since Lani thinks you’re capable. Sounds like you’re just what José needs.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be.”

Solana returned with the water, tossing a bottle to each of the boys. “Your five minute rest period is about over…I think she’s ready for the mattresses.” She disappeared before Nick or Ben could whine, so they went back to their conversation. Might as well wait until someone’s pissed off before moving.

“I hate mattresses…they weigh a ton and…god, how’d I get into this?”

Nick ignored Ben’s moaning too, wanting to drive a point home. “You think I wanted to be what you needed?”

“No, you made that very clear.”

“And look what happened…we both grew up. So, it’s your turn now.”

“I’m 14. I don’t wanna grow up.”

“So you want to be like a 14 year old for the rest of your life? Let’s see…strict curfews, no sex, no smoking, no drinking, no late night movies with the guys, homework 9 months out of the year, acne, livin’ with Mom, no money, no…”

“Alright, alright! No, I don’t…but do I need José to grow up?”

“Maybe. I needed you.”

“But I’m wonderful. José’s a dick.”

“Ben! Nick! Get in here now, you lazy bums…mattresses!” Solana’s voice wailed throughout the echoing halls of the almost empty house and ran chills right up their spines.

“You’re so lucky she called…you? Wonderful?” Nick smacked Ben upside the head, like he always did, and Ben ducked, smacking Nick’s hand out of the way, just like he always did. They hopped off the truck bed smacking and fwapping each other all the way into the house until they stumbled into a room full of irate females.

And Jack, who was useless because he was too busy laughing at the fact that both Nick and his brother were in trouble.

Patty didn’t flinch as she pointed to the huge mattress. “Boys. We’re here to work, not play. Stop screwing around and pick up that end.”

As they did, Nick peeked around his side of the mattress to Ben and stuck out his tongue. Ben returned the favor and Solana kicked Nick in the butt.

“Hey! Watch the booty!”

“I was, Papí…it’s cute, but not moving fast enough.”

After one mattress fell apart before it got out of its room, another smelled so bad that even Nick couldn’t be polite enough to hide his disgust, and another lost its covering from a slight bump to a door frame, they decided to leave all the mattresses out for the trash and Nick would buy new ones. Patty wasn’t so sure, but he insisted.

“Housewarming gift. You should sleep on something better than beat up springs with fabric on them.” When he saw her take a breath to argue one more time, he put his finger to her lips and shook his head. “I’m stubborn. Do you want to come shopping with us or do you trust me and Miss Romero?”

Defeated and embarrassed, Patty slumped down on the final box to go into the truck. “I trust you. I don’t want to know how much you’re spending on us. You’ve already given us so much, Nick.”

“You got this house totally on your own…” He reached out a hand to her and pulled her up. “Come on, Mom. Let’s get you unloaded at the new place and Lani and I will go buy some mattresses.”

The shopping didn’t take long. Nick sucked at shopping, so it was a matter of “four twin sets, one toddler set and a queen…the best you’ve got,” and an address for delivery. Unfortunately, they’d not be delivered until the next day.

“So now what do they do, genius?”

“Slumber party. My house.”

Lani got into Nick’s truck and looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Everyone? Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Yep. Not sleeping tonight. What the hell.” He started the engine and leaned over to kiss his sweetie. She needed to learn to relax. “You’re coming too, lady. I’m not handling that hoard on my own.”

“Oh I am, huh? What about Patty?”

“I have room for…hell, however many, especially if Ben and Jack hit the floor. She can come too.”

Solana was quiet for a moment, perking up as an idea hit her. “I know…I’ll offer her my house. Give her a night of no kids…or maybe just Amy.”

“Deal…and make sure you get that rugrat that hangs around you all the time. She’ll be in heaven.”

“God, just what Rosalie needs…more spoiling. Between you, Ben, Jack and Kitty…”

“Well, yeah. Poor kid sees no love in her life.”

Solana sat back, obviously previewing the night through her mind. Nick’s heart was bigger than his head sometimes. “We’re going to be dead by morning.”

“Eh, it’s worth it. We need movies, food and uh…what else?”

“Sanity. I’ll see if I can find it by the pound at the grocery.”

“Solana, are you sure? You should sleep in your own bed.” Patty stepped down from her stool and closed the cabinet door. A cabinet door that had perfectly working hinges and clean shelves. She couldn’t believe they’d gotten out of that hell hole they used to call ‘home’.

“Nope. I’m helping Nick with your gang. You enjoy your night alone. Almost.”

“You kidding? Just Amy might as well be alone. Where is she, anyway?” She wondered if she’d ever get used to having so many bedrooms, so much space, so many places to get lost.

“Ben was changing her last I saw. What else do you need to do in here?”

“Nothing tonight. I’m beat. Everyone out. Kids were already packed so we didn’t have to worry about it tonight.”

“Wonderful.” She pulled a key ring out of her pocket and handed it over. “Here are my keys. Silver is the knob and gold is the dead bolt. Lock ‘em both. Oh, and the code is…” She dug into her other pocket and pulled out a receipt. “The price of the security system.”

“The price is the code?”

“Yeah, I’m not real creative. Um, anything there is yours…coffee, food, towels are in a normal spot, all that. Oh, and watch the hot water setting in my bath. Hot doesn’t begin to describe it.”

“Got it. Now to find…”

“Carter Train comin’ through. Load up or get outta the way!!!” With a roar of shuffling feet, giggles and squeals, all of Patty’s concerns came barreling through the back door, Nick leading the way with a firm hold of Amy as his guide. Behind him, each holding onto the waist in front of them were the entire Casey clan and Rosalie…choo-choo-ing, giggling, rolling their eyes and putting on a happy face for the youngest of the players. “Come on, Miss Romero. Get your caboose attached and let’s get outta here!”

Patty looked to Solana with pity while scooping Amy out of Nick’s arms as the train slowed to transfer its load and collect its caboose. “You sure you don’t need another adult there?”

Solana grabbed onto Ben’s waist and chugged along with the train. “No. You go. Have fun. See you tomorrow!!”

And they were gone.

It was silent.

“Mama?” Amy looked to her mother for assurance. The only time it was this quiet was in the morning when she and Patty were the first to wake. But now they were in this odd house full of boxes and funny smells and different rooms and all of the noises were gone. “Go bye-bye?”

“Yep, kiddo…let’s go bye-bye.”

Liz stood and grabbed the last piece of pepperoni pizza with wild abandon. Only to have her hand smacked by her brother. “Mine, wench. Off the ‘za.”

“I don’t think so, Jack…I got it first. You’ve already had 10 pieces.”

“I have not…gimme that. NICK!” Jack yanked the slice of pizza out of Liz’s hand and it quickly flew out of his grasp and onto the kitchen floor. “Now look what you did. God, you are such a brat!”

“YOU did it, you jerk!”

“Woah, woah, woah…hold up.” Nick charged into the kitchen and promptly put his bare feet into the center of the tomatoey slice of pizza. “Shit…what the he-…” He slowly peeled the crust from his foot and looked up to the kids, glaring, seething and sadly, trying not to laugh. And fall over from his balancing act. “Who’s talkin’ first?”

In true form, they talked at the same time. “Oops.”

“Oops? There’s food on my floor, tomato sauce on my feet and all I get is an ‘oops’? Try again. Liz first.”

“I wanted the last piece and he snatched it outta my hand. I’m done.” Liz crossed her arms, stomped her foot and flipped her hair with a jerk of her head.

“Jack. Talk.”

“She’s always takin’ the last of everything and I’m still hungry.” He slunk back knowing his argument wasn’t quite as strong. And Nick still had sauce on his foot. He was dead.

“Get the paper towels over there for me.” Nick tossed the slice into the sink and leaned back against the counter to let Jack through and to wipe his foot. “Thanks…now, turn around and look to your right.”

Liz smacked her hand over her mouth when her eyes landed in the direction of Nick’s gaze. Jack hung his head in embarrassment. “Oh crap.”

“Yeah, it’s full. You each get one more slice. Liz, you take the box out to everyone else and you both are cleaning up. Trash, glasses in the dishwasher, and Jack…you get the floor. Understood?”

“Yes…sorry.”

“This isn’t a zoo, guys…there’s always enough for everyone. Got it? Always.”

Liz took the box from Jack and glared at him, tossing a glance of apology back to Nick. “One more pie here guys…who wants some?”

Solana passed the new waiters and scruffed Jack’s hair totally unaware of what had just happened. “Hey, that’s the last of…”

“Watch your st-…” He sucked in his breath as Solana’s foot landed in some more sauce still on the floor. “…step.” Handing her his soiled towel, he grinned. “Have a towel.”

“What happened in here?”

“Liz and Jack. Are they getting fed right at home still?”

“I think so…I’d think Ben would have said something if not.” She wiped the sauce off of her foot and went to the sink to wet a washcloth and clean up the floor.

“Don’t touch that floor. That’s Jack’s job.”

“Oh. Okay. Hope no one else steps in it.” She tossed the cloth into the sink and grimaced as she saw it land on Nick’s crust. “Yuck.”

“They won’t…that’d mean they’d have to get off their asses and stop feeding themselves. I think we’re safe.” Realizing that his words also meant that they had a moment alone, Nick smirked and slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her into him. “Actually, Jack was just following my directions so I could get you alone in the kitchen.”

“Oh yeah? What a clever boy you are.” She tilted her head up just in time for his lips to land on hers, for his hands to press her closer to him, his tongue to tease inside of her mouth.

“Always thinkin’, that’s me.” He pressed his forehead to hers, cupping her face in his hands and dotting a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “I’m glad you’re here tonight.”

“Yeah…gotta have someone save your ass from flying pizza.”

“Hey, now. I took care of that one all by my lonesome. I can handle these twerps. I just wanted to have an excuse to get you here overnight is all.”

“Don’t think it’s gonna be all that romantic, Romeo.” She leaned into his chest, kissing it and patting his tummy as they separated. “Platonic night.”

“Yep, I know…I thought the girls could get my room and the guys could get the guest room since there’s more of you.”

“That’ll work. We have enough sleeping bags and stuff?”

“I think. I have a few, you brought a couple…”

Kitty joined them in the kitchen, clearing her throat and futzing with her shirt. “Excuse me.”

“Anyone throwing food in there?”

“No…they’re good. Um, they’re ready for the movies though. Sorry to interrupt.” She blushed and left quickly, leaving Nick and Solana standing a foot apart wondering what they’d missed.

“What’s she so embarrassed about?” Nick gave Solana another quick kiss and stepped over the tomato slop to head back to the gang.

“No idea…she can’t seem to look me in the eye anymore. Buggin’ me.”

But, now was not the time to be worried about such things. They had a roomful of kids awaiting movie night. And that’s where their focus would be. The kids. The fun. The potential battles.

The potential memories.

Rosalie snuggled deeper into Nick’s chest and moaned. He wasn’t sure she’d seen much of the last movie, but she totally resisted going to bed. She wanted to play with the big kids. For tonight, it was okay. Sadly, her body was winning over her desires.

“Soñoliento, Nicky.”

“Okay, sweetie…let’s get you to bed then, huh?”

“No.” Deeper into the couch she cuddled, closer to him, making him wonder if she was going to cuddle herself right through him and into the furniture for good. “I wanna stay here with you.”

“Ro, come on. You’re asleep already…let’s go. You sleep in my bed tonight, okay?”

That perked her up. So up that her next words were followed by loud hushes from the others. “With you, Nicky!?”

“No, with Mamí.” He pressed a finger to her lips and scooped her up, climbing over half dead bodies to get her to bed.

Solana stirred from her gaze into the television and rolled onto her back looking more desirable than she should for Nick’s own good. “Need help?”

“Nah, we’re good…” Nick and Rosalie both blew Solana a kiss and tried to head down the hall, although Rosalie was still in an arguing mood.

“I wanna sleep with you, Nicky. In your bed.”

“So do I!” Nick stopped cold hearing Liz’s voice and peeked back into the room, looking to Lani for some help.

“What is it about all the women wanting to sleep with you, Carter…girls, here’s the deal. Boys in one room, girls in another. End of story.” Lani flopped back down onto her pillow on the floor hoping they were done.

“No way. It’s a slumber party. We all sleep in one room.” Liz got up from her spot on the floor and started tossing pillows down, showing everyone that there was more than enough room for 7 bodies there. “See? We can all be in here…”

“I’m all for it. I was expecting to finally sleep with Solana tonight anyway.” All eyes fell on Ben as his halo took a slow tumble from its perched position on his horns. “What?” He grinned cheesily and grabbed one of Liz’s tossed pillows, curling up into a comfortable position.

“Hands off my woman. Ro, you’re going to bed…we’ll argue out the rest later. I swear you come up with the most creative ideas to delay bedtime.”

“Can I wear one of Aaron’s shirts instead of my jammies?”

“Yep…go pick one out…top right drawer in the guest room. Show me your right hand.” He popped her gently on the behind, watching her right hand raise and her curls bounce and sway as she bounded down the hall. Every time he watched her, he felt like he was getting an old home movie of Lani as a girl…and he loved it. He loved them. Turning to the others, his heart swelled at the scene before him too. Jack had his head on Kitty’s lap, almost asleep, Ben was curled into his pillow, but Liz had scooted over and was spooned into him, while Lani’s arm stretched out from under her floor pillow and rubbed both Liz and Ben’s feet. They really were a family, weren’t they? “I’ll be back out guys. I don’t care where we sleep…just so we sleep some, alright?”

Without planning, without thought, without direction, 5 voices snored loudly from the floor. Nick shook his head chuckling down the hall, until one more comment broke through the snores.

“I’m still sleeping with your woman, dude!”

How sleep hit any of them was a complete miracle, but it did. At least for a time. Nick stirred at some point, not feeling anywhere near rested, but decided to get up and find out where everyone ended up…especially making sure Ben’s dreams hadn’t come true. As he sat up from the couch, his feet landed on someone. Jack. One down.

Ben was on the other side of the room, sprawled out on top of a sleeping bag with only one bare foot hiding beneath the nylon bedding. Florida boys sleep hot…he was no exception. Now, to find where the ladies had ended up. Kitty was in the guest room alone, looking downright angelic with a wisp of her blonde hair dangling across her eyes and the slightest of smiles illuminating her face. He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead, quickly leaving before she roused. The rest had to have been in his room.

Rosalie and Liz were curled together in his bed, looking teeny and precious and peaceful. But Lani was nowhere to be found, although she had been there at one time. Her pillow still had the imprint of her head and the sheets were rumpled to the back of the girls.

Nick sat on the bed and ran his fingers through Rosalie’s hair, wondering why that seemed more appealing at the moment than going back to sleep. He was dead…moving had pulled muscles he had forgotten he had, and when his eyes landed on the clock, he had to stifle a groan. He’d been asleep an hour at most. Too many snacks and too many bad movies made for a perfect ending to a very long day…one he’d be paying for all week, but it had been worth it.

The curly head turned under his hand and startled him out of his daydream. “Nicky?”

“Shh…dondé es Mamí?”

“Mmm…” He pushed her head closer to his hand, closing her eyes at his touch. “Um…yo no sé.”

“Okay…” Nick stalled a moment trying to kick his Spanish in gear, but it wasn’t happening. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

She nodded against his hand and rolled back over, not giving another care to the night. Or to her missing mother.

He kissed both girls and stood, stretching the kinks out of his body from an hour’s rest on a couch meant for cuddling, not sleeping. And then, he felt a small draft coming from the patio door in the back of his room. Someone else wasn’t sleeping either.

Finding a shirt to throw on, he went outside and found his lady. She had pulled one of his chairs to the edge of the deck and was watching the waves roll in, breaking up the blackest of nights with their small white caps. She was hugging her knees close to her and he couldn’t tell if she was just cold or deep in thought. She hadn’t even budged when he slid the door closed behind him.

“Lani…baby…”

“Hey…I can’t sleep.” She heaved a sigh and rested her head on her knees. “You know me and traveling. I get homesick.”

“You’re homesick here?”

“Well, for my own bed I guess…” She shrugged and pulled her knees in tighter, making Nick step back in and grab a small blanket to toss over her shoulders.

“It’s chilly out here tonight.”

“For September, yeah…thanks.” She finally looked up to him, but didn’t uncurl, didn’t move, didn’t exactly welcome him into her space.

“You wanna be alone? I just wasn’t sleeping all that good either.”

“No, stay.” As he pulled up a chair next to her, but not too close, she sat up more straight, breathing deeply of the sea air. “The water’s beautiful tonight.”

“It’s beautiful every night.”

“Yeah, I suppose it is. I can’t believe how rarely I saw this at night and I’ve lived just minutes from the coast most of my life.”

“You could see it every night if you wanted to.”

She turned to him quickly, eyes wide with surprise at what she knew he was getting at. “Nick…what are you…”

“Move in with me. It’s not the biggest place, but there’s room for you and Ro. You can see the water anytime, she can go swimming, it’s a safer neighborhood…and…”

“…no, Nick. I have my house. And…it’s mine. I did that by myself.”

Nick nodded trying not to take that as an indication that her possessions were more important to her than he was. He knew better, but such a quick ‘no’ was making that a hard pill to swallow. His eyes landed on a heron, lazily walking along the shoreline and stopping to gaze back at the humans who were watching.

The three stared one another down, each in their own thoughts until Nick couldn’t take the silence, mood, or heron any longer. “Go on now…nothing to see here!”

As if he understood, the bird nodded and lazed his stroll back along the shore, leaving barely visible footprints in the wet sand as the water receded beneath its step.

Solana curled back up into her human ball and sighed, resting her head on her knees sending off more mixed signals than Nick knew what to do with. Insomnia was not the issue here. Finally she took a breath and Nick could feel the door beginning to open.

“Neron showed up when you were gone.”

“Neron…”

“Maybe I never told you his name.” She turned her head on her knees and smiled slightly, remembering the love she felt with this blonde beauty before her. A love that scared her to death. “Rosalie’s dad.”

Nick didn’t even try to hide his emotions, mostly because they came careening at him so quickly he wasn’t able to. Shock, panic, fear, anger, disgust, concern…they were all there twisting his tired mind into a pretzel. Finally, he was able to form thought to words and whispered out a question. “What did he want?”

“To tell me to stay away from you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Remember we had cameras from E! or ET or something following us around a bit for your tour?”

“Ah, yeah…”

“Well, I was in a short clip, I guess…just in the background, and he saw me. I guess his new hootch is addicted to tabloid shit.”

Nick nodded and scooted his chair closer, feeling that she was more open to his presence…and hell, he needed her warmth. The chill in the night had suddenly stiffened. “You said you didn’t want to hide…maybe we should have.”

“No. I’m not hiding, Nick. I mean, I don’t want to be on display either, but I stand by that decision.”

“Then why won’t you visit me when I’m gone?”

“Let’s tackle one thing at a time here, huh? I was planning on it until he showed up.”

Some understanding finally crept into Nick’s thick head…or into Solana’s words…either way, it was becoming more clear. Unfortunately, it made Nick even more frustrated. “So what’d he have to say? Did he see Ro?”

“The fucker didn’t even ask about his child. He just told me he knows I’m with you and wants me to stay away. ‘Guys like that are nothing but pain’.”

“He walks away from his child and he is talking about pain?”

“Yeah, I know. I never said he was bright.”

Nick was silent for a moment, soaking it all in. Their path had been free and clear up until this point, Lani assuring him that Rosalie’s dad wasn’t in and never would be in the picture. And here he stood. Dead in the center of things. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing. Be cautious.” She finally uncurled from her ball and wrapped an arm around Nick, leaning into him. “I thought he was gone.”

“Yeah, so did I. He didn’t even ask about Ro?” Nick was beyond incensed with that one.

“Nope. He just showed up that one day, but ended it by telling me he had his eye on me and I’d better be careful.”

“You think he’ll try to take her?”

“He’d better not, Nick…she’s my life.”

Even though it was barely 5 am, they went inside to make coffee and head back out. Silence was their conversation and it was full and meaningful irregardless of the busy thoughts that clouded each of their minds. Small touches as they’d pass each other in the kitchen, faint smiles sharing understanding of feelings too complicated for words.

As they settled back on the patio and silently sipped their coffee and enjoyed muffins bought in preparation for the hungry hoards in the later hours of the morning, Nick worked up the courage to not only ask, but hear the answer to the question that had been tormenting him since Solana’s earlier announcement.

“What are you thinking? The silence is making me nervous now.” Solana bit into her muffin and closed her eyes as blueberries spilled their sweet juice into her mouth. “God, that’s good.”

“I want to ask you something, but I’m not sure I’m ready for an answer.”

“Just ask it, Nick.”

“You’ve never told me about Neron…hell, I didn’t even know his name. What was he like? What made you fall in love with him?”

Solana licked an unmelted pool of butter from the inside of her muffin and sat back, wondering if she could even answer that question. What had made her fall in love with Neron? It seemed like a lifetime ago. Remembering her daughter curled up in Nick’s arms as they disappeared down the hall the night before, she realized it had been a lifetime ago. Finally she took a breath and began.

“I was just finishing my bachelor’s…tired, beat, yet strong. I’d done it. Come out of poverty, earned scholarships and grants and made my way through school, with honors no less. I’d beat the odds.”

Nick reached across the table and rubbed her arm. “I love you.”

She smiled at his sudden declaration and took his hand in hers. “I love you, too, Nick. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner about him.”

“You told me…we’ll work around him if we need to.” Nick bit into his muffin wishing it was Neron’s head instead. Fucker.

“Yeah, so anyway, I was celebrating with some friends at a campus bar. Nothing special, just a few drinks, some dancing…you know the scene.”

“Too well.” Nick chuckled and waited for her to continue.

“Anyway, he comes in and I don’t know whether it was because I was so tired, or so sick of putting men on the back burner while I studied or what, but it was like I was an animal in heat.”

Nick’s eyebrows raised at the thought. Lani in heat. Now that was something he was willing to experience. “You goin’ into heat anytime soon?”

Tossing a hunk of muffin at his nose, she had to giggle, grateful for the break in discussion. “You brat…I’m always in heat for you.”

“True…so, you pounced him.”

“No, I didn’t pounce him, but we connected right away. He has these amazing eyes…great, strong arms, and this air of…” She took another bite, looking for the right word. “…confident possession I guess…and for whatever reason, it’s what I needed at the time.”

“I can’t imagine you ever wanting or needing to be possessed by a man, Lani.”

“I was a different person then, Nick. I’d known only that kind of love from a man…I thought it was normal.”

“What changed your mind?”

“You. Seeing you with the Casey’s. With Rosalie. You not only let those kids be who they were created to be, but you helped them figure it out. And then, the best part…”

“Yeah?” To say he was floored was an understatement. Touched. Amazed. Wanting to jump her and possess her. And then go kill Neron.

“…you loved them even if they screwed it up. I’d learned that with Ro on my own, but…you. You just did it so naturally. I figured if you could be that amazing with the kids, you’d be a great partner for me too.”

“Take off the rose colored glasses, Lani. I’m completely clueless with these kids…and with you half the time.”

“No, you’re not. Maybe it’s because you’re a big brother. Maybe…” She took hold of his hand again and looked deep into his eyes, her breath momentarily stolen from her as the breeze blew his long hair around his head like a crown. “…maybe it’s because you’re just a good man.”

“I don’t feel like it most of the time.”

“Nick, you cannot let your past mistakes continue to define you. They help you learn, but they don’t define you…if they did, I’d still be a useless slutty single mom who cares only for herself. And I’m sorry, but…”

“No, that’s not you.”

“Right. But it used to be. Don’t do that to yourself, Nick.”

Nick sighed, knowing she was right, still unable to completely take it to heart however. “Okay, so Neron. Studly dude in the bar.”

“Whatever…we danced that night, and it went from there. Really not much else to it.”

“Until you got pregnant.”

“Right. Until I showed him the stick.” She pulled her hand from his, putting them in her lap to fidget with her shirt hem. “I knew he wouldn’t be excited, but I thought maybe if I showed him how happy I was, then it might rub off…”

“You were wrong.”

“Apparently. I decided to tell him when he got home from work…he worked nights and so I only had to wait an hour or so. Instead, I was busy puking my guts up in the bathroom when he came in.”

“A pleasant welcome home.”

“I thought so. Anyway, he wouldn’t even come in to…hold my hair, or give me a washcloth. By then, I didn’t expect it either. I knew he was trash, but I didn’t think I deserved much better. Anyway, I cleaned myself up, took out the stick, showed him and asked him to go get me some Saltines or something.”

“Did he even care?”

“He kinda smiled at it, so I thought he was just shocked…you know? Anyway, he left and uh…”

“No…”

“Yeah, the first time I saw him was when he showed up at the center in July. He never came back.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“I think He’d have hung around.” She smiled weakly at her love, and quickly looked back down picking up muffin crumbs with her finger. “I was an idiot.”

“Hold up…how does him abandoning his child and its mother make you an idiot?”

“I loved him even when I knew he was awful. I’m smarter than that. Here I was in school learning how to counsel troubled kids and their parents, yet my life was in a shambles.”

“But you picked up the mess and made the best of it. You have an amazing daughter, an amazing job…a good life now.”

“Yes, I do. And I don’t want that fuckhead coming in here and screwing it up.”

“So, could he take Rosalie?”

“I have no idea…I need to find out. I didn’t name him on the birth certificate. According to the law, she has no father.”

“But if he did DNA or something…”

“Right. But honestly, I don’t think he would…and if so, it’d only be to get to me. To hurt me, not her. I don’t think he’s capable of caring enough about her to hurt her.”

“Why the hell would he want to hurt you? Didn’t he do enough damage already?”

“It’s all about control, Nick. He saw that I was with someone more powerful than him. With more money and more capable of providing for me…so here he is. Either that or he’s hoping for some of the loot. Cuz, you know…we’re swimming in it.”

“Oh yeah, I’m on Forbes…pth.”

“Stop. Anyway, he’s not come back, he doesn’t know where I live. I think I’m okay.”

“Except that he’s still haunting you and its now affecting us.”

She sighed and finished her coffee, looking out to the gulf, hoping to find another heron, maybe this one bringing the answers to life in its beak. Seeing only a gull, she sighed and looked to Nick, the hope and questions in their eyes matching the other.

“Yeah, except that.”

Ben led the parade of barefooted, ruffled haired, barely dressed minors out onto the patio, holding a finger to his lips and a hand over the littlest one’s mouth. Until she blew a raspberry to get him to move it.

“Ppttthhh.”

With a loud whisper, Ben jerked back and shot a glare to the midget curly-q. “Rosalie…what was that for?”

“I don’t like your hand there…why we being quiet anyway?”

“Look…we wanna surprise them.”

Nick stirred at the quiet commotion and peeled an eye open, gratefully landing only in Kitty’s eyes. She motioned for him to be quiet and not let on that he saw them all. With a wink and a dramatic groan, he shifted under Lani’s body, and settled in for the appearance of a deeper sleep.

They’d been curled up on the chaise for hours he guessed, especially in light of the aches that wracked through his back when he moved. It mattered not. He finally got to fall asleep and awaken with Lani. If it had to happen curled up and cramped on a chaise on his patio, then so be it.

Rosalie stifled a giggle at the couple, her mother’s hair flopped in all sorts of positions, mostly over her face, and Nick’s big bare feet dangling off the edge of the chair just begging to be tickled. With a look to Ben, she perched her finger at the sole and giggled as he nodded his approval.

With the gentlest of touches, her fingers curled to the sole of Nick’s foot and she whispered a morning greeting. “Despieta, Nicky.”

He jerked his foot back, slamming his knee into Solana’s crotch, causing her to flip her head up in shock and knocking him full force in the chin. “What the hell, Nick!?”

“Oh shit! Lani…Rosalie…god, what the…” Nick tried to sit up full, pushing Lani off of him in a not so romantic fashion, almost causing her to tumble to the concrete floor.

“I’m sorry, Nicky…Mommy, you okay?” Rosalie was almost in tears from the abrupt end to her innocent flirtation. Her mom was still glaring, Nick was still rubbing his chin and the older kids were all laughing their fool heads off. She felt isolated, alone and stupid.

So, she sat in the middle of the patio with her back turned to the group and pouted, trying with all of her might to fend off the tears that threatened. This didn’t go well at all. Ben and his stupid ideas.

“Why did you kick me!?” Lani was now standing, fidgeting with her clothes, making sure that their pre-sleep necking didn’t leave her too terribly exposed.

“She tickled me! I didn’t mean to, Lani…god…damn, you have a hard head.”

“Well, you have a fat knee. Jesus…” Grabbing the edge of the chaise, she found a corner and sat again, shooting one more dirty look to the older kids. She knew full well who was behind the scheme. “You’re lucky no one got seriously hurt, Ben.”

“Oh God, Lani…no one was going to get hurt. Not my fault you two were twisted like a pretzel out here…there were beds inside you know.” He had to turn away from them to keep from laughing. Damned lucky they didn’t come out to something explicit.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. We were talking and fell asleep is all. And this one,” Lani got back up and popped Liz on the head with a gentle fist, “this one snores like a bulldozer. She kept me up.”

“I do not!” Liz plopped onto the concrete next to Rosalie who promptly got up and walked to the other side of the pool, completely distancing herself from these people who embarrassed her in front of Nick.

“You do so, Liz…my god, I can hear you down the hall at home.” Jack had finally calmed down and settled on the chaise, looking at Nick’s chin to make sure he wasn’t going to be permanently scarred. Dr. Casey approved.

“Well, fine. You’ll have another door to block my awful noise now won’t you? I won’t be a problem anymore.”

“Guys…god. It’s early and we’re all tired from yesterday. Can we go in and eat?” Kitty crossed her arms around herself, rubbing her arms, kicking her brother in the calves as she walked by. “Hasn’t anyone noticed it’s friggin’ cold out here!?”

And with that, they all hobbled, mumbled, grumbled and stumbled their way inside, even pouty Rosalie. Letting everyone go in front of him, Nick stopped just short of the door and grabbed Lani’s hand.

“What?” She saw the gentleness in his eyes and softened her glare as well. This was no one’s fault…just a joke gone awry. And how dare he look so beautiful after a day of moving and a fitful night’s sleep?

“Just this.” He leaned in and captured her lips in his, moaning at the taste of morning and blueberry muffins and Lani. “Good morning.”

“Good morning…let’s hope today goes more smoothly than that start, huh?”

He pulled her in close, running his fingers through her tangled hair. “You okay? God…I nailed you.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Maybe later you can kiss it and make it better.”

“Ooh…yeah. I probably should do a full exam too. Make sure everything’s still in place and all.”

“I’m thinkin’, yeah…” With a gleam in her eye and a squeeze to his butt, she leaned up and kissed him quickly, ducking inside the kitchen before anyone noticed they had been side-tracked yet again.

Rubbing his aching chin, Nick watched her go in, wondering what it would be like to wake up to a house full of kids every day. Their kids.

As the patio door closed behind him, he snapped out of that dream. He wasn’t even sure where it had come from, but he could see it clear as day. He’d never dreamed of such things before…but now?

Sighing at the sights before him, he had to smile. The refrigerator door was opened and closed more times in one minute than it had been in its entire existence in Nick’s home. Crumbs were already flying everywhere as were boxes of cereal, bowls and glasses of juice. Ben popped open the morning paper and Lani poured a cup of coffee, adding just the right amount of cream, knowing Nick’s morning preferences over his daily ones.

Yes, now, it seemed more of a reality than any dream he’d ever dreamt. A reality he was amazed that he embraced with every beat of his heart.

A reality that scared him to death.

“Thanks for taking me out of there. I’m not sure if I was going to kill mom first or Jack. So damned anal.” Ben unhooked Rosalie’s car seat and kissed her forehead before giving her a hand to climb out of Nick’s huge truck. “Up and at ‘em, girl.”

“We were thinking you might be the first to go down.” Solana winked at him and dug into her purse for her keys. “Where are they? AH!” She pulled them out and handed the noisy collection to Rosalie who quickly darted up the porch to unlock the door. “Your mom sure was grumpy, huh?”

“Yeah…probably just the move and stuff. So much to do and we all have to go back to school tomorrow.”

“Well, Barry gave her the week off, so she should have some peace and quiet to get everything done while you all are in school. You hungry, guys?”

“Always.” Nick looked up in time to see Rosalie angrily toss the keys onto the porch and sit down with her arms crossed looking more than pitiful. “What’s up, Ro? Can’t get it?”

“No. I could yesterday. It’s bein’ grumpy like Mrs. Casey.”

“That’s no good…come here.” He squatted down and hiked her onto his knee so she’d be just a fraction taller.

“Bumpy side up, Mamí says.”

“Yep…turn it hard to your…” The key turned easily in her and Nick’s shared grasp and they both cheered. “You just needed to be a little taller is all.”

“I just needed you cheering for me.”

He ducked down lower to the ground and invited her to hop onto his shoulders. “Watch your head.”

“Ducking!”

As they all went inside, Nick made a bee-line for the couch and tossed Rosalie into the cushions, falling quickly to her side and attacked her with his fingers, causing squeals, shouts, yelps and kicking feet.

Unfortunately, Ben had had enough noise in the past few days and motioned to Solana’s back patio, quietly escaping the tickle fest. He needed some solitude. His mother’s mood when they’d come back from Nick’s was beyond grumpy and it pissed him off. She’s had a nice, quiet evening here at Lani’s and yet, she was all tense and nasty and short. He’d lift a box and she’d bitch at him to put it down. He’d sit and wait for further directions and she’d howl that he was being lazy. She virtually ignored Nick and Lani’s presence and they were only there to help…and had helped by keeping everyone out of her hair for one night. Not even a ‘thank you’ was uttered.

It was unlike her. Well, unlike her lately anyway. He remembered when she was like this all the time…and it scared him.

Nick knocked on the patio glass to get his attention and Ben motioned for him to come on out.

“We’re getting Chinese, that okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Ben pulled up a chair and sat down, looking forlorn and tired and not quite himself.

“You okay, dude?” Nick tousled Ben’s hair and pulled back when the teen pulled away from his touch.

“Just tired of noise, I guess.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Nick could read body language. ‘Leave me alone’ was being spoken here. Loud and clear. He slid the door open to head back inside. But, Ben called him back quickly.

“No, Nick. It’s me, not you, man. I just…” He slunk down into the chair, his long legs stretching out in front of him. “Something’s up with mom besides the move.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know…that’s what’s buggin’ me. You heard what a bitch she was with me. I couldn’t do anything right.”

“Eh, that’s moms sometimes. She’s just tired.”

“No! It’s more than that…it was like…like she was nervous to have me there…she never looked at me once. Did you see that!?”

“Uh, no…I was too busy unpacking Barbie dolls.”

“From what I heard, it sounded like you were too busy playing with them.” Ben peeked out from under the bill of his ball cap to only have it thwapped back down over his eyes.

“Shut up. Ken was giving decorating advice. He’s very, um…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah, I’d say so. Got a mama like Barbie and he prefers GIJoe.” Nick sat down at Ben’s feet having a feeling that the kid needed to unload more than he needed to be alone. “Don’t let your mom get to you, dude…she’ll chill once the house is back together.”

“I dunno. Last time she was like this was when…” He closed his eyes and stood up, no longer wanting to be still. Also no longer wanting to think about it. “When’s dinner?”

“Uh, as soon as Lani calls it in and it’s delivered…”

Ben nodded and walked over to the garden they had all started last summer. It was filling in beautifully, perennial flowers painting the corner of the small yard with a rainbow of colors. “Maybe Lani will let me cut some of these and take to mom…see if that chills her out a bit.”

“Can’t hurt…I’m sure she’d let you.” Nick stood for a few more minutes, trying to read Ben’s mind, trying to relate to whatever it was that the kid might be thinking. Slinking down into the chair, he realized, he’d never relate. His life had been nothing like this kid’s. Like any teenaged boys’ life. He hadn’t a clue.

But, he had a heart. He had to give it a try anyway. “Ben…”

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it any more. Let’s go back in, huh?” Seeing Nick get up, Ben started toward the patio, but stopped short, seeing something white tucked in between the thick blades of grass and the edge of the concrete. “What the…” As he got closer, he slowed, and paled. “Oh shit…Nick.”

“What’s up?”

“Um…you get it. I can’t believe this.” Ben pointed to the edge of the concrete with anxiety and disgust written all over his face.

“What is it?” Nick finally made his way over to where Ben was looking, squatting down and following his gaze. “Oh hell. It’s a…” Nick picked it up and held it in front of Ben, asking only with his eyes.

“Don’t look at me, man. I haven’t had one of those since…hell, since Steve and I hung out.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s Lani’s…” He got up and shoved his hand in his pocket, hiding any evidence of what they’d found. “…I think we’d better ask her though…later.”

“Now. Nick, ask her now.”

“Not in front of Ro…”

“She won’t understand, Nick. I gotta know…ask her now, please?”

The desperation in Ben’s voice concerned Nick, but gave him enough reason to go for it now. He could slide it under Lani’s nose without Rosalie seeing…maybe. “Okay, okay…calm down…I’ll ask her soon. Just chill or she’ll know something’s up.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Ben wiped his hands on his shorts and finally headed toward the door. “We’ll eat and ask and…it’ll all be okay, right?”

“Yeah…right…” Nick went in behind Ben, confused at Ben’s nerves. No one was going to peg this on him, what was he so freaked about?

Fortunately, when they got in, Rosalie was immersed in an episode of Dora in the other room. Ben slipped past the kitchen table and Lani’s glance. Even Dora sounded more enjoyable than approaching Lani at the moment.

“He okay? Stuff should be here in about 5 minutes.”

“I’m not sure. He’s bein’ weird. And, uh…we found something in your yard.” Nick pulled his hand out of his pocket and looked down, causing Lani’s eyes to follow.

“What is it?”

He lifted his hand and flicked it to her. “Any idea where this came from?”

She watched the white roll tumble across the counter. “Oh hell.” Picking up the half smoked joint, she lifted it up for closer inspection. “Smells kinda fresh still…” She flipped it back to him, not wanting the smell to be on her hands at all. “You don’t think…”

“No…I don’t think it’s his, Lani. But he sure as hell seems to know whose it is.”

“Hey, Ben…how ‘bout we go on a bike ride while Nick gets Ro into bed, huh?” Dinner had been nice, but tense, the evening had been nice, but tense and Lani was sick of nice…and tense. Time to clear some air, and for whatever reason, she felt that a friendly and professional hand might be more useful right now.

“Uh, I don’t have a bike here or anything.” Ben uncurled from underneath Rosalie’s droopy body and looked to Nick for some assistance with getting out of this mess. He offered none. Great.

“You only live 2 blocks away now, Mister. Double up with me to your house and we’ll get yours.” Seeing his eyes disappear into the back of his head, she made one more vain attempt. “Come on…it’s a nice night and my legs are already screaming from moving…might as well keep ‘em strong!”

He knew what she was up to, but whenever she flashed him that warm smile…the one that he’d only seen since Nick came into the picture of their lives, he was putty in her hands. Nervous putty, but putty none-the-less. Ben looked to Nick one more time, almost begging with his eyes for an escape plan, but only saw Rosalie’s curls settle onto Nick’s shoulders as he carried her out of the room and down the hall. He made a mental note to find new friends.

“WAIT!” Rosalie’s head popped off of Nick’s shoulders causing him to stop and Ben to temporarily remember how to breathe.

“What, muñe? No dilly-dallying tonight.”

She smiled at his new name for her…one she’d only heard other daddies call their little girls. Kissing his cheek in gratitude, she finally explained her delay. “No, I just have to kiss Ben and Mamí is all…take me back.”

Solana groaned and pulled Ben into the hall by his shirt sleeve. “You are too dilly-dallying.” She gave her daughter’s round cheek a peck and Nick’s scratchy cheek a lingering smooch. “We’ll be back in a bit, you two. Lights out, you hear me, young lady?”

“Yes, Mamí. Lights out.” Rosalie giggled at Nick’s mocking voice and blew a string of kisses to Ben as they disappeared into her room.

“Spoiled rotten…she wasn’t spoiled ‘til you all showed up.”

Ben slung his arm around Lani, trying to act more brave than he was feeling at the moment. “Aw, Miss Romero…you love us.” He knew he had nothing to be afraid of, but he also knew that whenever trouble was brewing, somehow, even without him being aware, it seemed like his fingers were always in the pot. Even if he’d never put them there.

About half way to Ben’s house, Lani realized that the last time she’d ridden on someone’s handle bars, her butt was only half the size it was now. After a lot of giggling, falling, running and stumbling, they were finally at Ben’s house.

“You want me to wait out here or come in?”

Ben blushed, never wanting to be ashamed of his home again. Unfortunately, this time he was afraid of his mom’s attitude. “Uh, it’s just in the garage…wait here, okay?”

She did as asked, taking in their new house, smiling as she saw fresh curtains and blinds hanging in windows. They were finally going to have the home they deserved.

She jumped when the garage door opened, obviously deeper into her thoughts than even she realized. “Look at that…when did you get the opener installed?”

“I think Mom got it done last week before we got here. You ready?” He slung his leg over his seat and coasted down the driveway, back peddling into the street. “Which way?”

“You lead. Show me where you like to go.”

And so they went, through and around streets, circling in a few courts as Ben showed her small inlets he and his friends liked to investigate. “I’m glad we’re on this side of the road now…more of my friends live here.”

“And you know the place already too…best of both worlds.”

“Yep.” He stopped his bike and hopped off of it, tossing it to the sandy dirt instead of using the kickstand. “Come on. There’s a little creek bed over here. I used to come here to…” He stopped, amazed at what he’d inadvertently done. This is where he and Steve would go when Steve had scored some weed. Wonderful. “…give me your hand. This rock is wobbly.” Maybe she’d miss his slip. Hopefully?

She gave him her hand and stepped gingerly, happily hopping onto more sure footing close to the edge of the creek. “Who do you come down here with?”

“I haven’t been here in awhile. Wanted to bring Erin, you know…” He smiled shyly and picked up a piece of sandstone, checking it for weight and effortlessly skipped it across the small creek. “…she won’t come.”

“No?”

“No. Says she’s afraid we’ll get carried away.”

“Erin’s a smart girl. I could see myself getting into trouble down here when I was your age.” She looked around at the thick foliage and virtual solitude this little hideaway created. Yep. Trouble with a capital “T”.

“Probably…” He squatted down and fervently searched for another rock to skip, another story to toss, another minute to kill, but found nothing. Heaving a sigh, he stood and faced the truth. “I know why you brought me out here.”

“You brought me here, Ben…”

“Miss Romero, the joint. It’s not mine. I promise you.”

“I didn’t think it was, Ben. Thing is, it’s not mine either.” The water bubbled near them and their attention was quickly averted to the noise, looking intently into the darkened creek to see what made the noise. “Fish?”

Ben shrugged and sighed, quickly disinterested in their visitor. “But you think I know where it came from.”

“I think you have an idea…and so do I. The only other person who’s been in my backyard besides your family and Nick is…”

“…yeah, I know.” He walked away from her, his head hanging, his feet dragging, his shoulders drooping. He knew full well that they were both thinking of one person and one person only. “My mom.”

“Has she ever smoked marijuana that you know of, Ben?”

“I know she’d come home smelling like it a lot. I mean, not in a long time. Not since Nick helped her…” He finally turned back to her, angrily wiping a tear away from his cheek. “How could she do this again? He has given us so much…it’s like she’s just laughing in his face!”

“Well, first…we don’t know it’s her yet, hon. Don’t start flinging accusations around already.”

“Okay, sorry. Silly me. It must have been Rosalie. I forgot that she’s always got the munchies.” Ben rolled his eyes and plopped down on a large rock, grimacing when a point of it landed precariously on a tender spot of his behind.

“Ben…this neighborhood is nicer than where you came from, but it’s hardly perfect. It’s very possible that someone just flung it in the yard as they were walking by.”

“Miss Romero…did Nick tell you where I found it?”

“No…just the backyard.”

“Yeah, at the edge of the patio…there’s no way someone could have tossed it there from outside of your yard.”

The little glimmer of hope that Solana had hung on to from the moment she saw the joint deflated. “Ah. No, I suppose not.” She sat down with him on the rock, bumping back to back and finally leaning into him as he leaned into her. “So, the only place we can trace it is to your mom. Did she have company last night?”

“I have no idea. She has a boyfriend now and we’ve never seen him…maybe he’s the one, but still. That’s just…that was wrong.”

“Yes, it was. I guess I’ll have to talk to her tomorrow morning then, huh?” They sat in silence for a few moments, the sounds of the slowly moving water matching the cadence of their racing hearts. “What do you think I should say?”

“You’re asking me!?”

“Yeah, you’ve done stuff you thought you’d gotten away with, but really didn’t. If you were her, how would you like to be approached?”

Ben thought about it for a minute, still shocked she wanted his take on it. What he had hated the most about the times he was in trouble was that no matter what trouble had happened, he was always blamed before anyone else. Even if he was innocent. Pissed him off. “I guess we should assume she’s innocent until we find out otherwise…”

“I’m thinkin’ the same thing.” She turned sideways hoping he’d do the same. And he did. “Your mom has come a long way, Ben. I don’t really know how deep into the drug scene she landed, but we both know it wasn’t an addiction thing as much as an experience thing. It was still wrong, especially when she left you kids at home, but…”

“…but it could have been worse.”

“Much. And now, she’s lost her weight, she is great at her job at the center, she’s around for you guys…”

Ben sighed and lowered his head, running a hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck, hoping a feeling of peace would come to him about this. “…I guess we should give her the benefit of the doubt, huh?”

“At least at first, yes.”

“And if she’s guilty?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

After more silence, more rock skipping and one more tour of a favorite spot with his buddies, Lani and Ben made their way back to her home, shoving Ben’s bike into the back of Nick’s truck, even as Ben protested.

“I ride in the dark all the time.”

“Not from my house you don’t. Now hush up and close the hatch.”

“You’re stubborn.”

“Yes, I am…let’s go see what the big boy’s up to.”

As they walked in, Nick’s bottom was just hitting the couch, feet slamming onto her coffee table as he haphazardly grabbed at a magazine to read.

“You always read Cosmo?”

“Huh?” Nick flipped the magazine closed and rolled his eyes tossing it back onto the table. “No…”

“…have you been in there with her this whole time?”

Nick’s cheesy grin said it all and Lani could do nothing but shake her head and give him a kiss. “You spoil her.”

“She manipulates me.”

“She’s four, Mister Carter…you’re supposed to be the adult.”

“I am until she looks at me. She has magic powers or something.”

Ignoring his lame pleas, Lani changed the subject. “Ben’s bike is in your truck. And we have to get Ro’s seat out of there too.”

Figuring he had some kissing up to do and seeing the anxiety on Ben’s face, Nick took his cue and stood and tossed his keys to Ben. “Go get Ro’s seat outta the car, huh?”

“Why don’t you just tell me to get out of the way? Jeez.” Ben slammed the screen door behind him leaving the two adults to stare at each other.

Lani stared amazed as Nick ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, just as Ben had not long before. If he and Aaron were more alike than he and Ben, which is what Nick claimed, she couldn’t believe it. These two were practically identical twins. “I’m sorry, Lani. We got to reading and giggling and talking and…”

“She’s a pain in the ass when she doesn’t get enough sleep, Nick. I get to pay for this tomorrow.”

“I know…I’m sorry.” He walked to her and ran a hand up her arm to test the waters of reception. They were open. He folded her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, sighing as she settled into him. “How ‘bout I pick her up from school tomorrow and take her back to my place. Just come over after work and we’ll have dinner. That way if she’s a creep, I can put her down for a nap or something. It’ll be my problem.”

“You’d do that?” She pulled back and looked up to him, still amazed that he had become the man of her dreams. Of her heart. Of her life.

“Yeah, sure…pack up a few of her videos in her backpack and we’ll be set. Too chilly to swim.”

“I love you, you know that?” Settling back into his chest, she squeezed her arms around him, wanting to feel him as close as possible. Wanting to take the warmth of his arms with her as she went off to her bed and he left for his own.

“I think I’m finally realizing that, yeah…” He cupped her face into his hands and kissed her tenderly, stopping only to rest his eyes in hers and return the words of love.

Hearing his truck horn honk, he knew his precious moments were over. For now. “Go on…I heard him close my car door, so he’s set.”

With another quick kiss, he was gone.

“Do NOT honk my horn, dude. Ro’s not the only person in the neighborhood who’s sleeping.”

“Oops. My bad. Just didn’t want you two to get carried away and forget about me out here.”

Nick glared at Ben and turned on the ignition, taking one last look up to Solana’s living room window. He hated leaving at night…his bed seemed five sizes too big after they’d spent a day together. Ten degrees too cold, too.

With a deep sigh, he turned the corner away from their street and headed toward Ben’s new home.

“Nice bike ride?”

“Yeah, showed Miss Romero where I used to hang out with the guys.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“Yeah, some of ‘em. I fish down at the one place with Ron now and then…”

Nick nodded, not feeling much like dragging conversation out of the kid. If he wanted to talk about the joint, the bike ride, the repercussions of it all, he would. Nick would rather go home and wallow in his loneliness.

And Ben was grateful. He didn’t want to think about confronting his mom about the joint. About what it might mean she was into again. Or who she was hanging around again. He didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to deal with it. Didn’t want to face it.

Unfortunately, life has a way of making us face that which we don’t want to face.

As Nick turned onto Ben’s new street, Ben sat up in his seat, quickly unbuckling his seat belt so he could slide closer to the dash and get a better look, his eyes bugging out, his heart racing, his breath quickening.

“Oh, shit…oh holy shit, shit, shit!”

“What? Ben? What is it?” Nick inadvertently slowed down, not sure what the new dramatic discovery was…he was beginning to wonder if it was truly drama, or just melodrama. The weekend was officially wearing thin.

“Stop. Don’t go any…oh shit. See that red pick-up in front of our house?”

“Yeah…it’s probably a neighbor’s or something.”

“No, I know that truck…she couldn’t.” Ben sat back and covered his face with his hands. “She just couldn’t.”

“Ben, she couldn’t what? Who are you talking about?”

“That truck…it’s…oh Jesus. Nick…” Ben turned to Nick, his blue eyes open full, seeping fear, and worry and concern. And then, before he opened his mouth to say another word, he blinked once, opening his eyes, now darkened in anger. “I can’t believe she’d be so stupid…”

“Your mom?”

“Yeah, my mom. Nick…that’s Darren’s truck.”

Nick slammed his locks closed just in time to stop Ben from flying out of the truck and into God only knew what kind of mess might be waiting for him at his house. Thing was, maybe it wasn’t the mess Ben was creating in his mind.

Maybe it was worse.

Darren may be his baby sister’s dad, but he was also the worst memory in Ben’s young life. Months of therapy for both Ben and Patty followed after Ben finally admitted what Darren had done to him behind a movie theater a few short years prior. To keep Ben from pressing sexual assault charges against Darren, he agreed to never show his face again.

And here he was.

“Unlock these goddamned doors, Nick. Don’t pull Dad on me right now.”

“I’ll pull whatever I think I need to slow you down.” Ben finally cooled his mind enough to realize he could unlock the doors himself, but Nick stopped him from getting out, yanking on his arm and pulling him back into the truck. “I mean it, Ben. Stop and calm down before you go in there and make an ass of yourself.”

With the sharpest arrows Ben could muster to be shot out of his eyes, he wriggled his arm free, pulled back and slammed the door, jamming Nick’s hand as he made one last attempt to grab at him.

Nick backed off, if only to soothe his aching wrist from the jolt, and took a deep breath before getting out of the truck and following Ben to the house. All he wanted to do was go home, call Lani, hear her voice as she sunk to sleep and then follow her lead so another day would start…and damned soon. This one already sucked. And now he hurt.

“Ben! I mean it, dude…stop before you storm in there!” Nick jogged up to Ben’s yard and thankfully, Ben stopped on the porch, even if it was only to shoot another angry glare.

“Go home, Nick. This doesn’t concern you.”

“No, but it concerns you…Ben, I mean it…” Nick finally made it up the porch steps, still shaking his hand in pain.

“I’m not your responsibility anymore.” He looked down to Nick’s wrist and silently cursed. Why did he have to care? Both of them. Why did Nick have to care about Ben and why did Ben suddenly feel guilty for slamming the door on Nick? “Did I do that?”

“Yes…and if you go in there this pissed, I’m only gonna be the first person you hurt…now sit down and take a breath.” Nick jerked Ben by his sleeve and sat him on a lawn chair. He leaned his backside against the railing and slowly turned his wrist around, relieved that some of the initial pain was already fading. The last thing he needed was time off and an injury to explain to fans. They’d blow it up into some ridiculous tale of another drunken fight, drugs, jilted lovers and probably and argument with Howie just to juice up the tale a bit. Time off was the rumor mill’s fertilizer.

Ben watched Nick nurse his wrist and slid down the chair, stretching his legs out until he could slide his feet under the railing. “Shit.” He wanted to go in and bust some heads. But what if Jack or Liz was around? Did they need to see this? Of course, did they need to be in there with Darren either? The guy was nothing but trouble and was told that if he ever came back, he’d be reported for what he did to Ben…even if it did happen years ago. “Why is he in there, huh? Why can’t he leave us alone?”

“I don’t know that. But, you don’t either.”

“It can’t be for anything good…”

“Well, I’m doubting that too, but you know…your mom’s a different person now. Last time she saw Darren, she was…”

“…a mess.”

“Yep.” Nick took a seat in the rickety chair next to Ben, making a mental note to pick up a couple of decent porch chairs for them. “Give her a chance first before you go in being the hero, huh?”

Ben finally looked up to Nick, smiling in spite of himself. “I’m a pretty pathetic hero anyway.”

“No, you’re not…but you’ve gotta know how hot the fire is before you go jumping into a burning building. It might just be a little flare and you’re acting like it’s an inferno.”

“There’s no such thing as ‘little’ where that asshole’s concerned.”

Nick sighed and inwardly agreed. This couldn’t be good. It was too quiet in the house…so he feared Darren’s presence wasn’t as unwelcome to Patty as it was to Ben. This could be downright bad. “Do you want me to go in with you?”

Ben had calmed enough to also be sensible, but he was too proud to full out admit it, so he simply shrugged and got up, pulling on Nick’s healthy hand to have him join him. Before going in, he turned around and grabbed one more measure of calm. “I really hate my mom right now.”

“I know…” Nick patted Ben’s back and looked down at his wrist, twisting it one more time to make sure he was going to survive it all, Ben’s eyes following his gaze.

“I’m really sorry, Nick.”

“I’m alright…” When he heard Ben unlock the door, he gave one final word of assurance. “And I’m right behind you.”

Ben and Nick let out unison sighs of relief when the only person in the family room was Jack, fervently pushing buttons, trying to win his latest level of Metroid Prime. “Where’s Mom?”

“Out back. Got some dude with her. He’s ugly.”

“Amy?”

“Napping. What, are you taking attendance?” The sound of an explosion erupted from the television and Jack whooped in victory. “I so rock.”

“Has she been napping the whole time this dude’s been here?”

“Uh, I think so...who cares?”

Ben ignored his brother and dragged Nick down the hall to Amy’s room. “If that bastard so much as touched her.”

“Ben, calm. Jack doesn’t seem upset by anything, so…”

“So Darren wasn’t supposed to show his face here again and he has.” Ben peeked in on his sleeping sister, tip-toeing into the room to get a better look. Nothing was out of place and she was surrounded by a cloud of peaceful sleep. He kissed his fingers and placed them gently on her cheek scowling at Nick because there was just no one else to scowl at.

As they passed back through the family room, laughter could be heard out on the back patio.

Jack never looked up from his game, but the kid never missed a beat either. “He’s been making her laugh anyway. Too bad he’s so ugly.” He’d make a good dad some day with the eyes already firmly planted in the back of his head.

“Great…now he’s a comedian.”

With a deep breath, Ben slid the patio door open and four eyes quickly met one, all owners ceasing to move or breathe or speak.

Finally, Nick pushed his way past Ben in the doorway and broke the ice. “House is lookin’ nice, Patty.” He reached a hand out to the ball capped man, making him wipe his hand on his shorts from the condensation of the beer bottle he was holding. “Nick Carter.”

“Uh, hi. Yeah.” Darren nervously stood and looked to Patty, obviously not expecting any new arrivals into their day. “Darren. Darren Graves.” He turned to Patty, completely ignoring Ben. “I, uh…guess I’ll be going now. Didn’t know everyone was gonna be home.”

“Don’t leave on our account.” Nick grimaced as Ben’s tennis shoed foot solidly landed on his sandaled toes. One wrist and now three toes. The kid was going to kill him appendage by appendage.

“No, I uh…I gotta work late shift anyway. Nice meeting you, Nick.”

Without another word, Darren slipped out the side gate leaving Ben, Patty and Nick to stare at one another and wonder who was going to go first. And how passionate this whole exchange was going to be. Nick decided to sit for the fireworks. And Patty decided to start with dishonesty.

“Ben, it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“What am I thinking, Mom? That you’ve let that pecker back into our lives? That he knows where we live again? That this is the boyfriend you’ve been hiding…that you’re actually fucking this asshole again?” Ben smacked at Darren’s empty beer bottle, sending it flying off of the table and into the dying flowers left unattended from the previous owner. “Wherever would I get that idea, Mom?”

“People change, Ben. I have, Darren has…”

“So, if he’s changed so much how come you’ve been hiding him from us, huh? How come…” he turned to Nick and held his hand out. “You still have it?”

“Have what?”

Ben deepened his glare into Nick’s oblivious eyes, shoving his hand further into Nick’s space. “You know what I mean…”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah…” He hiked up and dug into his pocket, grimacing at the pain that shot through his wrist, and pulled out a very mottled-looking, half smoked joint. “Here.”

Ben tossed the joint onto the table in front of his mother. “I’m sure you know nothing about this little gift left at Miss Romero’s either.” Darren’s engine revved loudly from the front of the house, interrupting the tense exchange, but sadly only spurring Ben on further. “What the FUCK is wrong with you, Mom!?”

Patty’s face paled as she stared at the joint. “How do I know that’s not yours? You’re over there more than I am…”

“Because I don’t smoke weed anymore, Mom.”

Patty looked to Nick, trying her hardest to be accusing, but shame made her eyes too big and hollow to be totally effective. “You? I’m sure you smoke weed, Mr. Rock Star.”

“This isn’t about me, Mrs. Casey…it’s not my joint.”

“So you’re not denying you indulge?”

“I’m saying it’s not mine and then I’m going to sit here so Ben doesn’t kill someone.” He crossed his arms and leaned back refusing to get into the list of his habits past and present. At this point, it was hardly important.

“Hmph. You can’t prove a thing, Ben.”

“I don’t need to, Mom. Suddenly this stupid joint doesn’t mean so much anymore. The fact that you are seeing that bastard again, bringing him into our home, exposing him to Amy and Jack and Liz…don’t you give a goddamn about any of us? About yourself!?”

“Yes, I do. And Darren’s changed, Ben. He’s…he’s not…he won’t hurt you again.”

“And you know this how?”

“He said as much.”

“Oh my God…” Ben grabbed the joint and ran down off the deck to retrieve the bottle, shoving the paper roll into the glass. “His word has always been something I’d count on. Does Mrs. McKenna know?”

“I’m not under her care anymore…she doesn’t need to know.”

“Doesn’t it make you wonder that you’re seeing someone you can tell no one about? You know, I may only be a kid, but I want to shout from the rooftops when something cool happens with Erin…not hide.”

“My love life is no one’s business, Ben, especially my children’s.” Patty stood and swiped the bottle from Ben’s hand, disappearing around the side of the house, the clank of the bottle hitting the aluminum trash can breaking the quiet tension she had left behind.

Ben stood and seethed for a moment and finally took a huge breath and screamed out his frustration for the entire neighborhood to hear. “You are so full of shit, Mom!!!”

“Ben!” Nick reached out and grabbed Ben before his mouth got him into a hole he couldn’t clamor out of.

“Don’t touch me.”

“She’s still your mama.”

Ben jerked out of Nick’s grasp and headed toward the door sharing one final thought before he slammed the door closed behind him.

“Yeah, lucky me.”

The morning hadn’t gone well for Solana. Rosalie did not want to get up and the lure of Nick picking her up from school wasn’t as much help as she had counted on. They fought, Lani spilled an entire pot of coffee and Rosalie went through three dresses before deciding on the one she wanted. One with brand new leotards and a new hair barrette, which of course meant longer prep time. This mom was ready to explode.

So, all in all, a day at work sounded like vacation. She was surprised to find the clinic still locked, but was relieved as well. A few minutes peace and quiet with some coffee and her ever-growing pile of mail sounded like a perfect way to disengage from the fouled up beginning to the day.

She left all the lights off, illuminating only her office and sifted through the stacks on her desk as the coffee brewed, filling her small cement walled room with the smells of morning. It smelled so much better dripping from a filter than it did splattered all over her kitchen tile. In a short time, she was immersed in a long letter from the state, distancing herself from any noise anywhere else in the building.

Until she heard shuffling out front. Barry normally came in back and Patty wasn’t supposed to come in all week. It was too early for any kids to show yet, so she startled and took a peek out.

Patty’s backside greeted her as she bent down to pick up a box of Kleenex that she’d knocked off while…

“Patty? What are you doing?”

Patty jerked up, knocked her head on the overhang of the desk and spun around. “Miss Romero! I’m sorry…I didn’t think you were here yet.” Rubbing her head, she averted her boss’s gaze and plopped a picture frame into a large box on the floor.

“I am…what are you doing?” Solana could tell full well what she was doing. She was packing up her personal belongings.

“I’m saving time.” Patty never looked up from her chore, and lifted the box up onto the desk so she didn’t have to bend over so often. “Figure I’ll use this week to make my next move.”

“Your next move?” Solana walked over to Patty and peered into the box. Seeing pictures her children had drawn that typically decorated her desk’s backboard, she yanked them out and smacked them back onto the table. “Move where?”

“I don’t know…I’m sure you can’t give me a good recommendation.” Patty sighed and put the drawings back into the box.

“I don’t need to give you a recommendation. You have a job here.” As a coffee mug hit the bottom of the box, Lani’s patience hit the end of its rope. “Patty! Stop it! What are you doing!?”

“You’re going to fire me, so I just thought I’d come in and clean out now. No sense waiting ‘til next week.” Patty took the smaller copy of the Christmas photograph that decorated Nick’s hallway and gently put it into the box. That one was special.

Solana pulled it back out and set it right back on the desk where it had been since Patty brought it to work. “What makes you think I’m going to fire you?” As a handful of pencils hit the box, Lani grabbed Patty’s arm and sat her down in the chair. “Sit. Do not move.” Seeing Patty take a breath to argue, Lani’s motherly finger went to Patty’s face. “I mean it. Don’t you budge.”

As Lani left and poured her secretary a cup of coffee, she mentally went through her bedtime phone call with Nick, trying pull some meaning from it as to why Patty seemed to think she was going to lose her job. Granted, the night hadn’t gone well at the Casey’s, but that was a mother/son situation and had nothing to do with her job at the clinic. When she got back to Patty’s office, she sighed in total exasperation. “I told you not to budge. You budged.”

Patty blushed and rolled up the poster she had just pulled off of her wall, sticking it into her box. “Yeah, I budged. I’m leaving.”

Handing her the steaming cup of peace, Lani pointed at the chair with her eyes. “Sit. And talk until you can’t talk anymore.”

Reluctantly, Patty took a sip of the brew and sighed, looking around her office as if she’d already left it. She had been so happy here. So fulfilled. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Bullcrap. You had a fight with your son last night…that doesn’t affect your job.”

“I brought a man to your house who smoked marijuana…I broke your trust.”

“Yes, you did. And that won’t happen again, but Patty…you stayed at my house as a friend, not an employee. Your work here has been…I couldn’t replace you. Unless that behavior affects your job, you’re not in danger of losing it.”

“But the kids…I mean…” Patty finally let the tear that had been threatening to escape win and it dropped down the side of her pudgy cheek. “...Amy was asleep when he came, you have to know that.”

“I’m sure she was, Patty. I don’t mind that you had a boyfriend there…you’re not a teenaged babysitter. I am unhappy about the pot…and that Ro could have found it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Patty looked down, angrily wiping tears away and hiding her now blotchy face with her mug.

“So, we’re okay? You’ll unpack?”

“No. I’m leaving…I’ll train someone or help you find someone, but I’m too embarrassed to stay.”

“You’re not leaving. You screwed up. I think you need to be worrying about your relationship with Ben more than me.”

“He hates me.”

“He loves you…that’s why he’s so angry.”

“No, Miss Rom-…Lani. He hates me.”

“Yes, it’s Lani…” Knowing that this conversation was going private and fast, and definitely one that was “off the record”, Lani got up and closed the door, pulling her chair in closer to her friend, removing the distance of the desk from between them. “Can we talk as friends now and not boss/employee?”

Patty finally looked up and blinked another stray tear away. “I could use a friend…”

“Then I’m your girl.”

Patty nodded and let the tears flow freely, sobbing words of regret, foreboding and fear. “I’ve really screwed it up this time.”

“Now…let’s take this apart and look at it. Ben thinks with his heart first and then his head.”

“Ben’s head is in his heart…and I love that about my boy. He’s right, you know. Darren is no good for me.”

“Why did you take him back then?”

“Because he said he had counseling and had changed. He said he wants to be a daddy to Amy.” Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Patty heaved a sigh, frustrated that she’d let her life get out of control again. “None of my kids have had a daddy.”

“Now, I thought Liz and Jack’s dad tried…”

“Used to. He’s not been around for months.”

“Okay…so, has he proven his words? Has he changed?”

“Yes. No.” Patty shrugged and grabbed for a Kleenex, remembering that they’d been moved in her nerves when she came in this morning. “I don’t think he uses anymore…I mean, besides the weed.”

“Okay, that’s good…what about drinking? Did he ever drink?”

“Yeah…he still drinks. But he doesn’t get drunk. Not around me anyway.”

“And how is he with Amy?”

“Awkward. But okay. I won’t let him be alone with her.”

“That’s very smart. Do you understand why Ben’s upset, Patty? He’s worried about his brother and sisters is all. He’s worried about his Mama. He feels responsible for all of you.”

“He’s too young to be responsible for us, Lani…I’ve put too much on him. It’s a miracle he’s not the one smoking weed and doing stupid shit.”

“Yeah, in many ways it is. And we’re all pitching in to make sure it stays that way, but part of the team to help him includes you, Patty. You can’t give up on him…or on you…not now.”

“He has Nick now. And you. He doesn’t need me anymore.”

“He always will need you, Patty. You’re his Mama. No matter what, you always will be.”

“I’m not so good of one.” Patty blew her nose and giggled at the funny noises she produced in the process. “Sound like a sick goose.”

Lani sat quietly and let Patty work through her thoughts on her own a bit, being a support just in her presence. Patty wasn’t wise in seeing Darren again, that was definite. But, it was also definite that she loved her kids more than she ever thought imaginable. Her love for them would win…eventually.

“So, you’re not gonna fire me because of the joint?”

“Nope. I will tell you I’m disappointed and angry that it was brought to my home.”

Patty nodded and wiped her nose again, standing to retrieve the Christmas photo. “Nick’s been a better dad to them than anyone…than their own daddy’s.”

“Nick’s a good man just trying to do his best…just like you, and Ben…me, Barry. We’re all here for each other, hon.”

“I guess I should put this stuff back, huh?”

“Want help?”

“No, I think I need to be alone for a bit.”

“Okay…and Patty?”

“Yeah?”

“As soon as you’re done unloading that box, you get yourself home and take care of things there. That’s your priority this week, not this place, okay?”

A smile finally spread across the older woman’s face, crooked, missing teeth and all. “Yeah…home. My home.”

“Okay, Muñe. Stir the pasta.” Nick lifted the lid so his helper could stir, nibbling her ear as she tried to obey his command.

“Nicky! Stop it! That tickles.”

“Aw…but it looks yummy.” He lifted Rosalie from the counter and put her on the awaiting chair gnawing on her earlobe the whole time. “…and I’m hungry.”

“Eat some pasta. It’s almost done.”

“Yeah, but the sauce is still a big old frozen block. How do Mom’s get the timing of things right, huh?”

Rosalie shrugged and hopped off the chair not the least bit worried that the sauce was still frozen and the pasta was almost mush. Especially when she heard the front door open.

“Mamí! Mamí! We’re making supper for you!”

Solana dumped her bags on the tile and scooped up her daughter, instantly trying to fix her daughter’s matted bed head from an afternoon nap. “You are? Nick’s cooking?”

“Yep! And I’m helping. We took a nap, too.”

“We?” She brought her daughter into the kitchen and offered Nick a questioning look. “You taking naps now too?”

“Yup…whadoya do when the pasta gets done before the sauce?” He knocked on the block of pasta and leaned in to kiss his girls.

“This is homemade?”

“Moms. She always has me keep some frozen…to impress the chics.”

“Cheater.”

“You hungry or not?”

“Hungry. Drain the pasta now and we’ll unsticky it with water later.” Plopping her daughter back onto the counter, she leaned up for one more kiss to the chef and went back to her bags. “I’m gonna go in your room and change. I feel like yesterday’s left overs.”

“Stay here, baby…this is hot.” Nick held his gaze on Ro before he turned his back on her to dump the pasta into a strainer. “Oh yeah, I rock. Who needs those dumb pasta pots anyway?”

“Those are silly…mamí say if you can’t strain pasta you shouldn’t be in the kitchen.”

“Mamí’s a smart woman.” And with that last thought of “Mamí” he wiped his hands on a towel and gave another fatherly glare at the munchkin on his counter. “What do you touch in the kitchen when there’s no adult around?”

“Nada.”

“Bingo…I’ll be right back.”

He disappeared down the hall, tossing one more glance over his shoulder to make sure little Miss Rosalie didn’t touch the pan and found his love with her arms over her head pulling off a shirt, exposing a bare belly just wanting to be kissed. He happily obliged.

“Aigh! Nick! Good god, you scared me.” She jumped back, pulling the shirt off completely and hit him with it. He grabbed hold of the fabric and pulled her into him, moaning as his bare arms touched her bare back. “I like this…” He kissed the top of her head, resting his cheek on the soft waves and slowly walking her backwards to the bed.

“Nick…Ro…”

“Mmm-hmm…is fine.”

His lips connected with her neck just before her legs connected with the side of the bed and she was being pushed up onto it with his gentle force and irresistible touch. She arched her back to him, softening as his lips descended down her collar bone and his tongue slipped under the soft fabric of her bra. “Where’d…” She gasped when she felt her bra unhook from the back and mindlessly lifted so he could slip it off. “…you leave her?”

“On the counter.” His thumb found the pebble of a nipple first, but his mouth closely followed, warming it as he gently licked it. “We’ll just be a sec…”

Lani’s hands swam in his hair and her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in, ignoring the fact that clothes and a child and hungry tummies were definitely in the way of consummating this encounter. “Only a sec?”

“Mmm-hmmm….” His hips pushed into hers and she grasped him more tightly, licking his neck, sucking on his earlobe.

“I just want to taste you.”

She slid one hand in between their bodies, settling on his erection and squeezing firmly. “I just want to feel you.”

He lifted up and rested on his elbows, rubbing her hair from her face, looking deep into the chocolate brown of her eyes as he continued to push against her body, her hand, her warmth. “You feel me?”

“Mmm…yeah…” She lifted her head up slightly and captured his lips, sucking his bottom lip in between hers, never moving her hand away from his crotch. “You taste me?”

“Mmm…yeah…”

“I want to taste dinner. It’s makin’ funny noises!”

Nick jumped up, slipping his arms out from under Lani so fast that she bounced back onto the bed, her breasts jiggling and suddenly feeling the chill of the air. “Ro! Hon…how’d you get down?” He quickly smoothed the front of his pants, thanking the gods for young ignorance as to why he’d have a bulge in his jeans.

“You left the chair there…I hopped.” She innocently jumped onto the bed with her mother and handed her her bra. “You dropped this.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m hungry and the sauce is bubblin’ funny. What you two doin’ anyway?”

“Just sayin’ hello, Muñe…I’ll, uh…” he watched as Lani’s breasts disappeared behind the fabric of her bra and then her stomach beneath the fabric of a t-shirt and sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll go see what’s up with dinner.”

The girls watched him leave the room and Lani tried to put her Mommy hat back on. He shouldn’t have left her unattended in the kitchen and she was too…he was too irresistible for her to think responsibly. Kicking herself for losing control, she turned to her daughter and smiled. “So, what’d you and Nick do today?”

“We went to the park…”

“Oh yeah? How high did you get on the swings?”

“Almost to the bar, Nick’s a good pusher.”

As Lani finished getting dressed, Rosalie filled her in on her day at school, her day with Nick and then stopped short.

“What is it, Ro?”

“Nothing. We have to help Nick finish dinner. He’s a yucky cook.”

“Ro…what made you stop talking?”

“Nothing, Mamí. Let’s go eat, dinner.”

“You ready, Muñe?” Nick peeked into Rosalie’s room, smiling as she popped off her socks and tossed them haphazardly onto the floor.

“Yep. Where’s Mamí?”

“She’s comin’…hop in bed and we’ll be ready for her, okay?”

Rosalie turned off her light and crawled under the covers, lifting the side up for Nick to crawl in next to her. “My bed’s not big for two like yours, Nicky.”

“Nope, we’ll snuggle tho’, just like we did today.”

“I liked that…can you pick me up all the time from school? I don’t like Mrs. Burns.”

“I thought your teacher was Miss Fernandez.”

“It is. Mrs. Burns watches us after school. She’s mean.”

“Rosalinda…you shouldn’t talk that way about your teachers. Mrs. Burns is just different from what you’re used to.” Lani popped Nick’s legs so he’d scoot over, giving her room to sit down at the foot of the bed. “You two look like caterpillars all wrapped up.”

“Yep, in the morning, I’ll be un mariposa muy bonita!”

“You already are a beautiful butterfly, Muñe.”

“Where’d you get that nickname for her?” Lani gave up on the small corner she’d been allotted for her backside and slid to the floor, resting her head on Nick’s arm at the edge of the bed.

“I just saw a daddy calling his little girl that at the airport, I think. It just…fits, I guess. It’s not bad is it?”

“You don’t even know what it means?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Goof…it means, um…” Lani thought for a minute and tilted her head back to see her daughter curled up into the crook of Nick’s arm almost asleep, or playing possum so well, she might as well be asleep. Who cares what it meant? “It doesn’t translate exactly. I guess it’s kind of like baby…muñequita is dollbaby…sort of.”

“Then it fits.” He looked down at the sleeping bundle of snuggles and curls and kissed her head. “How am I gonna get out of here without waking her? This is how I ended up napping today too.”

“Wanna spend the night?”

“Not in this bed, I don’t…”

Without much fuss, Nick weaseled his way out of Rosalie’s grasp and was finally able to steal away some private moments with Lani.

Only Lani no longer had kissing and tasting and feeling in mind. She was in the mood to talk.

“Did I hear her ask you to pick her up from school all the time?”

“Yeah…I thought she liked it there okay.”

“She likes preschool, but she’s right, Mrs. Burns is a bit of a witch. I’m not fond of her either, but I don’t have a lot of options.”

“Well, I can’t get her every day, but…maybe on Fridays or something? Something for both of us to look forward to?”

“Nick, no. She’s not your responsibility. Ro needs to learn now that there are going to be adults in your life that you just don’t like sometimes.”

“So, she lives with her four days a week and me one…when I’m in town. I can’t even do it every week.”

“No. I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“I don’t know, Nick….”

“What are you so afraid of, Lani? You’d rather leave her with a woman who doesn’t give two cents about her over me?”

“No, that’s not it…I just…it’s just…” Lani got up from the comfort of the couch to fix herself a drink, not really thirsty, but in need of a separation for a moment. When she saw Nick get up to follow she shot a glare that put him right back in his seat. “…I’m just afraid, Nick…”

He sat for a minute picking at his fingernails wondering if he should wait until she returned to continue this conversation or make one more attempt at joining her in the kitchen. Seeing the look in her previous glare, he decided to wait it out. But, without missing a beat.

She returned with two beer bottles and her bottom hadn’t hit the couch before he asked the question that he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to hear an answer to. “What of, Lani? What are you so afraid of?”

“Well, like tonight. You left her on the counter with a hot burner and hot sauce…”

“Did she touch anything?”

“No, but she could have.”

“Yep. She could have while I was standing there, too, Lani. You don’t turn your back on her now and then in the kitchen?”

“Well, sure, but I’m there. We got wrapped up in…” she watched him take a swig of his beer, trying not the let the movement of his Adam’s Apple lure her into complacency. This was her daughter’s well-being they were discussing. She gulped down some of her own drink and tried to continue. “…in each other and…that wasn’t smart.”

“Probably not, but Lani…who am I makin’ out with when you’re not here?”

“You’re missing the point.”

“The point is, you don’t think I’m responsible enough to watch her…”

“No, it’s not that…it’s just…”

“What is it then, Lani? We went to the park, we took a nap, just like I promised. Hell, I even cooked dinner, we bathed her and got her to bed. Tell me how that’s not taking good care of her.”

“It is, Nick. It is. You love her very much.” Lani looked down at her lap, wishing she could pin-point what it was she was afraid of. And then it hit her. “And that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“That I love her? Lani?”

“That you’ll leave her, Nick. That something will happen and she’s so in love with you…and I’m…” she reached up and touched his face, brushing her thumb across his cheek, knowing that with every touch, every glance, she fell more and more in love with him, in spite of how much she fought against it. “…I’m so in love with you, and…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Lani…you can’t keep me from her because you’re afraid I won’t be here tomorrow.”

“She deserves consistency, Nick. I can’t risk her heart anymore.”

“What about mine?”

Nick grabbed the beer bottles and tossed them into the recycling bin, wondering how much heart burn he’d have from them. It had to be the most tense downing of 12 ounces of brew he’d ever experienced. Besides the tension from their conversation about trust, love and commitment, he had something else he needed to tell her and wasn’t sure how well it’d go over.

Before he got back, Lani was up, meeting him half way, her arms extended, obviously wanting to call some sort of truce to the tension. Nick was all for it.

“I’m sorry, baby…I’ve just raised her alone from day one…”

“I know you have. You can’t protect her forever tho’.”

“No, I know I can’t…I just want to.” Nick chuckled, his head resting on hers as their embrace continued to heal the tension, distrust and ill-spoken accusations from their previous discussion.

“You just have to trust that I want to protect her too. When I say I love her…when I say I love you…” he lifted her chin up with his finger and softly kissed her lips and each eye lid, “I mean it. And Lani, I’ve never felt like this before.”

“I haven’t either…maybe that’s why I’m so afraid.”

“…maybe…I just don’t like the feeling that you don’t trust me.”

Lani squeezed Nick tighter and pulled away only to take hold of his hand and lead him back to the couch. “So, you two had a good day?”

“We’re done with this conversation, aren’t we?”

“For now, yes. Nothing you can do to fix it…I just need to let go…somehow.”

Nick nodded and looked at Lani, trying to imagine the connection you would have to a child you’d given birth to. A child you had taken part in creating. As much as he loved Ro, he knew he’d love his own more. And yes, probably have trouble letting anyone care properly for her, especially if her life had started with emptiness like Rosalie’s had. Like Amy’s had. Ben too. What the hell was it with men and their kids? How do you walk away from your own flesh and blood like that?

Suddenly, he noticed Lani’s hand waving in his face and her voice cut through his thoughts. “…want to hear about it. Rosalie acted weird about the park. Did something happen there?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, the park. Nothing special. Slides, swings, played Frisbee a bit…as much as you can with her.”

He was hiding something and Lani knew it. After the games she had to play to get Patty to talk earlier in the day, as well as her lousy morning and an afternoon verbal sparring with José, she wasn’t in the mood to drag information out of anyone, especially Nick. “You see someone?”

“What did Ro say to you?” Nick’s heart rate increased and he hoped it wasn’t obvious. He swore to himself that he wasn’t going to alarm her. Rosalie had felt his alarm enough as it was and he’d finally calmed her down and convinced her that he had been mistaken, probably used to fans stalking him and following him. She believed him and now Lani would have to as well.

“Nick…you lie like hell. What happened?”

“Nothing, Lani…wanna watch a movie?”

“Oh hell no, Mr. You want me to trust you with her? To believe you have her best interests at heart over your own and you’re going to play games with me today? I don’t think so.”

“Lani, trust me, please. It’s nothing. We went to the park, we played, we got exhausted, we went back to my place, watched Dora, fell asleep and made dinner. End of day, end of story.” He needed another beer and got up quickly to retrieve one. “Want another beer?”

“No, and you don’t either…get back here.”

“Yeah, I really do.” Desperately. Immediately. Three or four if possible.

“Nick…”

Seeing the pleading in her eyes and remembering that the previous discussion had been all about trust, taking the responsibility of Rosalie seriously, showing how much he cared for them above and beyond anyone he’d ever cared for…he knew he had to cave. And he knew it would do nothing to help Lani’s over-protective nature with her daughter.

In fact, it would probably make it worse.

Lani convinced Nick that pop would be a better beverage choice and went to her back patio to finish the conversation. To start the conversation. Something.

“Start talking, Gringo.”

“Oh, so I’m Gringo now, huh?” He winked over his glass and kissed her cheek, taking a deep breath to begin his story. “Rosalie sucks at Frisbee.”

“Yes, she does. She’s four.”

“Yes, she is. So, we’re playing Frisbee. Well, I was playing, she was…whatever the hell it is she tries to do with that thing. Toss it to the furthest corner of the park so I can run for it, I guess.”

“Aw, poor baby…you tired?”

“Yes, she’s gonna make me old before my time.”

Lani rubbed her thumb and forefinger together in the motion of a violin bow and violin, putting on full pout for him. “So sorry…”

“You’re no help…she flung it and it shot straight to the parking lot. I stopped her from running after it and got it…but it landed at this dude’s feet. He’d picked it up and I took it from him and thanked him, no biggie.”

“Right…”

“Fortunately, she got tired of me never catching her throws…cuz you know, I couldn’t catch ‘em because I suck.”

“Yes, you suck.”

He leaned in and softly suckled on her neck to prove his point and to hopefully, possibly divert her attention from the matter at hand. Sucking was a much nicer topic. “Mmm…you still taste good.”

“Yes, I do. And you suck very well…you stopped playing Frisbee…”

“You’re no fun.” When he sat back up straight, he saw that she was not in a joking mood, and the truth of it was, she shouldn’t be. He just didn’t want to deal with this. “…yeah, so we went to the swings and I’m pushing her, she’s singing some silly song from Dora or school. I dunno. She has me cracking up either way. Next thing I know, there’s this dude again.”

Lani’s eyes bugged out, instantly understanding the discomfort of the situation. “Was he following you or her?”

“I didn’t know…happens all the time, but not normally with men, you know?”

“Yeah, exactly…”

“Right, so I just kind of smile at him and nod, turning my attention back to Ro. He doesn’t leave. He’s just hanging there.”

“Shit…”

“So, I suggest we get off the swings, make up some shit that my arms are tired or something and she wants to jump off. For some reason, I didn’t want her too. I don’t know whether I thought this dude was gonna catch her in mid-air or what. I just didn’t feel comfortable.”

“So, did she?”

“No, and she was pissed at me too. Said that I’m just like you.”

“Great. I guess I do need to chill a bit, huh?”

“Just a bit, yeah…gotta let her be a kid, Lani.” Lani sighed and leaned her head on Nick’s shoulders, rubbing the soft skin of his arm as he continued the story. “So, she grumbles her way to the slide and we play there, forgetting everything after a few times down…she’s all excited because I let her crawl back up the thing.”

“Were other kids waiting?”

“Lani…god…yes. There were 140 other kids in line and I let her hog the thing all for herself. Would you give me a break?”

“Sorry…slide. Playing. Where’s the man?”

“Nowhere. For awhile. She even got me to go down the damned thing…was afraid my ass would get stuck on it. I don’t remember slides ever being that skinny.”

“They don’t remember your ass ever being that wide.”

“I don’t like you anymore.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, yes I do…” He pulled back from her taking her hands in his and looking deep into her eyes. “I do love you, Lani, and I love Rosalie and…and I don’t know what to make of all of this.”

“Where was the man…did you ever find out who he was?”

“No, I didn’t, but…he wouldn’t stop watching us. We saw him kind of standing behind the tunnels when we left, like he’d been there the whole time we were on the slide.”

“Jesus, Nick…what did he want?”

“I don’t know, but I had a thought…”

“Yeah? Besides the fact that you’re not going to that park for awhile.”

“Well, yeah, besides that…um, Lani…” He took a deep breath and kissed her before he asked. “What does Neron look like?”

Lani’s cream-with-a-drop-of-coffee complexion paled as panic spread throughout her body. When Nick said, “dude” for some odd reason, she had a 50-ish year old man in mind. Or maybe a young man checking out Nick for his girlfriend, seeing if it was really him. Or…something. Her life had been so free of Neron that it had never crossed her mind that he could be, he would be following her, Rosalie, Nick…

…he wouldn’t.

“You okay? I mean, I have no idea that it was him. It just…” Seeing Lani’s gaze go from involvement to distance to downright shock in a matter of seconds scared Nick to death. Scared him that she knew that Neron could be a threat in their lives. Scared him that his first instinct that the man was indeed Rosalie’s dad was accurate and true. “Baby…talk to me.”

Without blinking or moving, Lani asked her own questions. “How old was he?”

“Mid to late 20’s, I guess. Close shaven head, dark hair, shorter than me, stocky, um…”

“Did he speak to her?”

“No. Just to me.”

“What’d he say?” She hadn’t moved since Nick had said the name ‘Neron’.

“She needs to work on her follow-through.”

“Maybe if she had a daddy, she’d have a fucking follow-through.” Nick waited to see if Lani would move, budge, respond, but her words were like an automated answering machine. Monotone, emotionless, heartless.

“Baby, I don’t know that it was him…it was just my gut.”

“I trust your gut. Was he watching you or her?”

“Her. Me. Us. Shit, I dunno, Lani…he was just there.”

“Does he recognize your car? What kind of car did he have? He never approached her? He…he…did he ever…what does he…” Lani’s questions jumbled into a pile of words and her words slid into a fit of tears and fear and panic and finally, raw emotion. She grabbed Nick’s shirt with her fists and pulled him to her, burying her face in his chest and the tears fell. Tears hidden for four years. Tears kept at bay to be the strong, brave mommy to her little girl.

Nick said nothing as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her off of her chair and onto his lap, comforting her like a daddy to his little girl. Like the daddy she never had, Rosalie never had…no one in this corner of his life ever had.

Where were all the daddies in these people’s lives? How in the world had they functioned this far in life without a dad? A good, strong man to guide them and love them and comfort them and teach them? And why in the world was he suddenly realizing that he was the surrogate for all of these people? Nick-fucking-Carter. The dork. The goof. The stupid one. The cute one. The baby. The irresponsible one. How was it that he felt more responsibility for these people than any man in their lives had up until now?

More importantly, what did it mean for his future with them? He wasn’t their dad. In no way, shape or form was he anyone’s father. He was immature in his own right, irresponsible, impulsive and highly temperamental. He could mentor maybe, but these people needed someone consistent in their life. Consistency was not something he could muster. Hell, he wasn’t sure it was something he even wanted to muster.

Maybe Neron was coming back to be a constant for Ro and Lani?

Looking down at the sobbing woman in his arms, he knew that whether Neron was coming back for that or not, he’d have to get through her first. And as it looked now, that wasn’t about to happen. Nick continued to rock Lani, kissing her brow, letting her get out all of her fears and frustrations, gasping and wheezing for air, snorting and sniffing and snotting all over his t-shirt. He felt like a super hero.

And dammit, what the hell was wrong with these men that they are so full of their own goals and agendas that they can’t take the time to simply be a super hero to the people who’s lives they helped create? It made no sense. His dad was far from Ward Cleaver, but by god, he loved his kids. His mom’s affections were always questionable, but no matter what, he knew Dad was there. Dad may have been a lousy husband at times, but he was a wonderful father. He was a super hero.

“You never answered my questions.”

Lani sat up and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, stopping the tears almost as abruptly as they had begun. She laid her head back on Nick’s chest, hitting a wet spot from her tears. “Sorry I snotted your shirt.”

“That’s okay…what question do you want me to answer…you asked about 50.”

She looked up into his eyes, full of concern and yes, a little corner of them housed laughter. Laughter at her outburst and expectation of answers. Well, he could laugh all he wanted. She was dead serious. As ridiculous as it was. “All of them. I need you to answer every question I have. I’m sick of no one having answers. I thought I had them all…”

“None of us have all the answers, Lani…not even you.”

“Well, that’s unacceptable. Rosalie needs me to have them…is he going to try to take her away, Nick?”

“Honey, I mean, how do we know it was him?”

“It was…I can just feel it.” She stared out into her yard, watching the crooked palm tree’s leaves blowing in the slight breeze. She sat up with a start, her eyes bugged out and her breathing doubled in pace. “Did he have a gold tooth?”

Now Nick was paling. And gulping. And perspiring at the realization that yes, indeed…“Shit.”

“Left incisor?”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah…uh-huh. So, does he know your car?”

“Yeah, he does…he saw us leave.”

“And that’s…” Lani sat up, realization finally totally caving in on her. “…that’s why Ro stopped talking about the park tonight, isn’t it?”

“Probably.”

“He scared her…Nick…what did he do to her!?” Her mood swings were about to give Nick whip lash. Friendly to stone faced to sobbing and now? A screaming banshee. “What Nick??? Tell me!” She was grabbing his shirt again, enraged at…at…everything.

“Lani! Stop.” He pulled her claws from his shirt and held her hands tightly, rubbing her knuckles until her breathing had calmed down again. “He didn’t do anything at all to her…it was me that scared her. I fucked up.”

“No, it was him. I know it. He looked at her funny or maybe…did you ever leave her? Maybe he talked to her.”

“I never left her side. I wouldn’t even let her play in the tunnels because I didn’t want her out of my sight. It was me. She could tell I didn’t like him…we left quickly and she picked up on it.”

“You’re sure…” Lani’s breathing began to slow, finally pulling out of her panic enough to really read the body language of the man who was holding her and comforting her. While Neron’s presence had unsettled him, it hardly panicked him. And if Nick loved anything, Lani knew Nick loved Ro.

“Yes, baby, I’m sure. She was questioning me all the way home. Why did he watch us? Who was he? Was he a fan of mine? Why didn’t I want him watching her? Why did we have to leave just because the man with the funny tooth was looking at us playing? Maybe he was a daddy who missed his little girl.”

“Jesus, she’s too smart for her own good.” Lani got off of Nick’s lap, trying to hide her embarrassment for losing control like she had, but comforted in the fact that Nick didn’t even flinch. He just filled her need. Just like always.

“Yeah, she is…I shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did.”

“Why didn’t you just say something to him?”

Nick heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, wondering how he was going to explain his life to her…this part of his life. No one understood it. Not even him. “I’ve had people staring at me all of my life. I put up a wall and just…I try to ignore it.”

“What made you realize he wasn’t staring at you? He wasn’t a fan or a reporter or something?”

“I dunno. And I did think it was a reporter at first…some stupid tabloid shit gonna report that Nick Carter was seen playing at a park with his daughter. So, I played up to it, honestly. I played harder with her. Cuddled more, kissed her more…I just walked right into it.”

“What if it was, Nick? Was that smart?”

“I don’t give a good god damn if they think Ro is my daughter…let ‘em.”

“You probably infuriated him…”

Nick shrugged and cupped her face in his hands, wiping a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I don’t give a good god damn if I infuriate that bastard either. He might be a sperm donor, but he has no idea what it’s like to be that girl’s daddy.”

“No, he doesn’t…maybe you showed him that.”

“Maybe I did.”

Lani curled into Nick’s arms and they sat in silence for awhile, running everything through their heads the first of a million more times. Nick couldn’t decide if he was more concerned now or feeling a bit more peaceful about it. On one hand, he felt stronger in his protection of these girls, but on the other hand, her panic indicated a good reason to fear this man. Lani’s mind was going so fast, she couldn’t put together any coherent thought.

Save one.

“Stay tonight, please.”

Nick nodded against her head and kissed the frizzed out waves, blowing stray wisps out of his mouth. He rested his cheek on her head and breathed in deeply of her scent, the smells of her backyard and the autumn Florida night…as autumn as they got anyway. Whatever awaited on the horizon with this situation he knew one thing. They were facing it together.

“As many nights as you need, baby. I’m right here.”

“Frosted Flakes, Mamí!” Rosalie bounded down the hall into the kitchen with the fervor of…well, of a four year old looking forward to a day at preschool.

“Shhh…Nick’s still sleeping.”

“Nicky’s here? You had a slumber party and I missed it?”

Solana looked up from stirring her coffee and stifled a laugh at her daughter’s chosen outfit for the day. “Uh, you’re quite colorful this morning.”

Before climbing up onto the bar stool, Rosalie spun around, her black, white and pink plaid skirt flipping up and out exposing ruffled baby blue panties. “You like it? You didn’t have clothes out, so I picked myself.”

“Well…” Solana came around from the counter and squatted down to her daughter’s level, tugging at her purple and orange polka-dotted t-shirt. “…I like your shirt…”

“It sparkles!” Rosalie looked down and flicked at a speck of glitter.

“Yes, it does. And I like your skirt.”

“Good. I’m hungry. When does Nick get up?” She climbed up onto the bar stool and grabbed at the newspaper quickly finding the weather page. “Sunny and 75 today. No jacket!”

Solana remained in her squatted position wondering how she’d lost control of the conversation. And of her daughter’s wardrobe. She always laid out clothes before she went to bed, but last night Nick had walked her directly from the back porch to her bedroom. He tucked her into bed and then slowly, tenderly reminded her that she was surrounded by love and honor and strength. She promptly fell asleep and her typical nightly routine had been pleasingly ruined.

Sighing at the memory of Nick’s gentle touch and the reappearance of the concern that lead her to ask him to stay over, she went back to the clothing issue. So much easier to deal with. Maybe.

“Yes, no jacket, but I think you might need a different shirt.”

“Why?” Tired of waiting for her mother, Rosalie hopped back off of the bar stool and grabbed a kitchen chair, dragging it to he cupboard that held the bowls.

“Because…because I wanted to save that for another day. For picture day!” Good save, Mamí.

“Oooh…when’s that?”

“Next week. And since you like it so much, how ‘bout you save it for then? I think you have a nice pink shirt to go with that skirt.” Solana got the milk out of the refrigerator and raised her eyebrows at her daughter who was now determined to fix her breakfast herself. “No. I pour the milk.”

“I can do it.”

“So can I…you put the chair away and I’ll finish.”

With a stomp of disapproval, Rosalie hopped off the chair and drug it back, mumbling something about how Allison was allowed to make her own breakfast and pick out her own clothes. Whoever Allison was.

Solana slid Rosalie’s bowl of cereal to her and poured a glass of juice as she tried to come up with a way to broach the subject of Neron. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t know how far to go with it. She wanted him to go back into the cave he’d so conveniently been hiding in for the past four years.

Leaning her elbows on the counter and getting her face close to her daughter’s milk-smacked lips, she took a deep breath and just started.

“So, you said you want Nick to pick you up from school sometimes, huh?”

“Can he? I liked it yesterday.”

“So did he. He can’t do it every day…he has meetings and traveling and stuff, but maybe the Friday’s he’s home? Would you like that?”

“And I can go to his house ‘til you get home? Just like yesterday?”

“There or here; doesn’t matter. What, um…what do you think about going to the park to play?”

“I like it okay.” Rosalie shrugged and turned her focus back to her cereal.

“Just okay? I thought you loved the park?”

“I do…Nick got…” She shoved another spoonful into her mouth and chewed, forgetting her manners of keeping her mouth closed.

“Mouth shut. I don’t wanna see what’s in your mouth.”

“Then don’t sit so close to me, Mamí.”

“Sorry.” Before Solana knew what she was doing, she was standing upright and then wondering how her daughter gained control again. This kid was good. “What happened with Nick?”

“He got scared.”

“Scared?”

“Yeah…” Back to her cereal she went and this time it didn’t look like it was going to be an easy lure to get her into the conversation again. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“Do you know what scared him?”

“A man. I gotta go brush my teeth.” With her bowl only half finished, she hopped off the stool and skipped out of the room and down the hall.

That hadn’t gone well at all.

“Oof! What the…” Nick tried to roll onto his back, but couldn’t move because of the immediate and immovable weight that had woken him from an early morning dream. A very pleasant early morning dream at that.

“I gotsta go to school, Nicky. I wanted to say adios!” Rosalie slid off of Nick’s side and curled up behind him, kissing his bare back. “You sleep too long.”

“You wake up too happy…my god, child.”

“Rosalinda Maria Romero! I told you not to wake him up. Get out of there right now!” Lani stood in the doorway ignoring how adorable the two of them looked curled up like two bugs in a rug.

“It’s okay, Lani. What time is it anyway?” Nick was finally able to nudge his way to his back, rubbing his eyes to adjust to the morning light streaming through the slight slits in the blinds.

“7:30.”

“Is God up yet?”

“No, we get Him up at 8. Rosalie…you are in big trouble. Get out here now.”

“She’s fine, Lani…she’s keeping me warm.” He hiked up to lean on the headboard and pulled Rosalie up into the crook of his arm. “You look very pretty today.”

“Pth. Mamí made me change my shirt. No me gusta.”

“We’re giving me raspberries now for my taste in pretty girls? Are you always this grumpy in the mornings?”

“No…”

“Good, because I’m not gonna spend the night anymore if you spit at me.”

“Lo siento, Nicky. I’m just…grumpy. Will you be here after school?”

Nick looked to Lani for the answer to that and still seeing fear hiding behind her Mommy mask he gave Rosalie the first answer she liked of the day. “Yep. You stay with Mrs. Burns today, but we’ll have dinner and…how ‘bout a movie tonight?”

“Yay! Movie night! Popcorn, too?”

“Of course.”

Rosalie pulled away from Nick’s embrace and bounced off the bed, her mood back to the happy one he was more accustomed to. “Now I’m ready for school. Nicky made it better.”

Ruffling her daughter’s hair as she walked by, Lani looked up to her love in her bed, hair mussed, bags under his eyes and one nipple ring standing on edge while the other one was in place. The smile that spread across her face started at her heart, slipped down to her big toe and back up filling her with a joy and peace she had forgotten anyone was allowed to have. “Nicky’s good at making things better, isn’t he?”

Warmth spread through his body in her words, the love in her eyes, in the memory of the love they had made just hours before in the bed he now rested. No sound came from his lips, but the message was clear as he mouthed the words. “I love you.”

“I love you, too…”

“Oh come ON! We gonna be late, Mamí!”

“José, just don’t even start with me, dude.” Ben grabbed the basketball out from under the fence around the center’s basketball court and slowly dribbled it back into play, keeping his eye on the thorn-in-his-side-du-jour.

“Aw, whatsa matter, Benny? Did Erin cut you off or something?”

Ben shot the basketball, cussing under his breath when he not only missed, but horribly missed. “Just shut up and play.”

“That’s it! She cut you off, didn’t she? No more nookie for Benny…”

Ben charged at José, stealing the ball from his hands in a terribly illegal but easy play with this sad version of a pick-up game. “Erin did not cut me off, dick. Can’t you just…” He ran in for a lay-up and made it this time, feeling stronger already. This kid was going to be the death of him. “…play and not talk?”

“No, man. It’s more fun to piss you off.” José got the rebound and took a shot, standing under the basket as he and Ben waited for it to roll around the rim before falling off the side. “Damn.”

“At least you got it to the basket this time.”

“You think you’re the shit, don’t you, Casey? Why don’t you come down to the creek and show us what a man you are, huh? Or you just too pussy whipped to hang with the guys anymore?”

Ben grabbed the ball and shoved it under his arm, looking incredulously at his nemesis. “You think that creek is where manhood comes out? God, you’re dumber than I thought.”

“Are you gonna play or preach?”

Ben let the ball slip from under his arm and stood still dribbling it in place, eyeing José down, trying to prove to José that he was in charge of this situation. If only he could convince himself. “I thought you hated basketball.”

“Not as much as I hate Miss Romero…so shoot so I don’t have to go in and deal with that bitch.”

Ben tossed the ball right into José’s gut, using his fury from the previous week as an extra push. His mother, her boyfriend, the move, everything. He hadn’t spoken to his mom in days and he really had no intention to start again until she assured him that Darren was gone from the picture. It was an ugly battle of wills but he was determined to win.

José let out a gasp of air and tried to grab the ball to throw it back, but it was swiped out from under him as he stumbled for breath.

“Who you callin’ a bitch, dawg?”

Ben stepped back and grabbed another ball, taking his practice to a the other half-court, letting the visitor take things from there.

José looked up to the new voice and smirked, not recognizing him or giving two cents that he towered over him. Size intimidated him not. “Miss Romero…dawg. Who the hell are you?”

“Your worst nightmare if you don’t stop talkin’ shit about the best thing to come into your life.” Nick dribbled the ball and took an easy shot, never even lifting his feet from the pavement. “You must be José.”

“Yeah…what’s it to you?”

Seeing that Ben had found something else to do, Nick wrapped his arm around the younger boy’s shoulders and walked him back into the center, leaving their ball to bounce into the grass. “Not much, ‘til you start talkin’ junk on Miss Romero. Then we have some issues.”

“What are you, her body guard or something?”

“You could say that.” When they reached the door, Nick grabbed the back of José’s neck and gently pushed him inside, following closely behind. When his eyes landed on the wavy, chocolate mane of Solana’s hair as she bent over the computer helping another child, he had smile and regroup. “Señorita Romero?”

Her gaze began professionally, but as soon as her dark eyes met Nick’s shining blue, she couldn’t hide the sparkle in her own. Seeing who he had by the neck, however, she quickly changed back into the pro she needed to be.

“Yes, Señor Carter.”

“I’ve got someone here who would love to help you clean up before everyone goes home.”

“José? You came in to help?”

“Not real-“ José felt the hand tighten around his neck and jerked away from it, but changed his tune. “Sure. Whatever.”

Solana pointed over to the craft table and smiled. “We just finished and I haven’t gotten to it yet. The glue will need a warm, wet rag.”

Nick took hold of José’s arm and leaned into his ear, reminding him that he’d crossed an unforgivable line. “I’ll be over to check your work in 10 minutes.”

José turned to Nick and glared, venom seeping from between his already evil words. “Fuck. Off.”

Nick smiled sweetly at the brat and turned to head back outside to Ben. “Un momento, Señor Carter…”

He stopped on a dime and smiled, his back still to her. “Sí, Señorita Romero?”

He heard her whispering to the student she was working with and felt her come up behind him, his breath quickening just at her presence. He’d spent the entire week at her home and it was just one step shy of heaven, he was convinced. No woman had ever had this effect on him. He couldn’t decide if he loved it, or if it scared him. When her hand touched his back, he went with his first choice. He loved it. “What business brought you here today…Mr. Carter?”

He couldn’t maintain the professional stance anymore and let his smile deteriorate hers as well. “I thought I’d get Rosalie today again…save you the trip.”

“Ah. That’d be great. I’ll call and tell them to expect you.”

“Okay.” He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to shoo the kids out of the center and throw her on her back on one of the work tables…hell, even the glue stickied one José was miserably cleaning…and have his way with her. She still had an ounce of fear in her eyes that had never dissipated from the first night he stayed, but he was determined to do everything in his power to help remove that fear. But, he knew it was really up to her. His job for now was normalcy. “Can I bring Ben?”

“Yeah…I’m worried about him.”

“Me too. I’ve got something to tell him I’m not sure is going to go over very well.”

She asked with but a questioning glance and a welcome shift in roles. It was her turn to be concerned for him. “What is it?”

“Aaron called. He needs m-…he’s…” Nick stopped fumbling and ran a hand through his hair. The occasion was a happy one. The reason was not. “He’s going to be joining all of us for Thanksgiving.”

As soon as Nick finished his sentence, the screen door to the basketball court slammed shut and Nick and Lani broke from one another’s gaze to see who had come in.

Or gone out.

“Aw, Jesus…” Nick took a run for the door waving a quick good-bye to Lani. “It was Ben. I’ll go get him.”

“Do not chase me, Nick…just go away.”

Nick slowed at Ben’s fair plea, frustrated and frankly pissed. He knew, from the deepest part of his heart that Ben and Aaron would get along so well.

If only…

…if only Ben would allow it. His jealousy, something Nick had to deal with from the beginnings of his relationship with the teen, was just not within his comprehension. He had finally opened up enough that Nick was able to get close to Ben’s entire family. Ben dealt well with the fact that he and Lani were dating. He seemed okay when Nick was gone for so long touring and making the film. But yet…whenever Aaron was mentioned…

“Fine, but stop running away from me. I thought we were past that.”

Ben stopped and turned back to Nick, daggers shooting out of his eyes. “I thought we were past a lot of things, but I’m not so sure I was right.”

“Hold up. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just forget it. Don’t I have enough shit to deal with right now?”

“I dunno, Ben. You’ve cut me off right along with your mom.”

“Aw, you upset because I haven’t called you whining and crying like everyone else? You wanna be my savior too?” Ben couldn’t believe it. He sounded just like José had when they were playing basketball. It was official. He still was and always would be…bad.

“What the HELL is your problem???”

“Nothing. Just…” Ben started to run again, stopped turned back to Nick to say something and decided against it. At least not before getting a few more feet away from him first. “Just fuck off, okay?”

“BEN!” Nick wanted to chase, but his feet seemed to have more sense than his heart and he couldn’t budge. “God dammit, what the hell is going on around here, lately?” His feet finally moved, but back in the direction of the center instead. If Rosalie bit his head off, he was heading home to Mom. And that was saying more than he even wanted to think about right now.

“Did you catch him?” Solana met Nick in the parking lot, pulling her hair up into a bun as she walked.

“Aw…keep it down.”

“Nope. I’m hot and I’m cooking dinner. It stays up.” Looking around for any sign of Ben, her shoulders slumped as the last tendril of hair was properly pinned up. “You’re alone.”

“Yep. I let him go. What the hell have I done?”

“Uh…nothing? He’s been quiet this week, but otherwise okay. What did you do to him?”

“NOTHING! God…” Nick threw his hands into the air and dug into his pocket for his keys. “I’m gonna get Ro…meet you at home, okay?” He leaned down for a kiss and quickly slid one of her hair pins out of the bun.

“Nick…you are impossible.” She grabbed the loose lock of hair and stuck it in her mouth like a flamenco dancer would bite a rose. With a hand flourish and swish of her hips, she turned and went back inside. “At home, Mr. Carter…we’ll continue this at home.”

Home.

Why did such a small word bring about such massive confusion and emotion?

Nick peeked into the room where Rosalie had spent the last few hours of her day playing, creating and singing. Ah, to be four years old again. “You ready, Muñe?”

“Nicky! You came again today!” She jumped up from her puzzle and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he squatted down to scoop her up. “It’s not a Friday.”

“I know. I got out of my meeting early, so I thought I’d help Mamí out.” He held on tight to her, grateful for the way her curls tickled his neck, her eyes lit up the dark spots in his heart, and for the feeling of pure contentment that washed over him whenever she or her mother was in his presence. Maybe they were the super heroes in all of this.

“Are we going to your house or mine?”

“Yours. Mamí’s cooking. And then, I have something really cool to tell you.”

“Ooh…tell me now.” She wriggled out of his arms and grabbed her backpack, calling out a perky ‘adios’ to Mrs. Burns.

“Nope. You’ll have to wait. It’s a surprise.” She looked up to him sideways, the ticking of calculated thinking almost audible. “And don’t you even start figuring out a way to get me to talk.”

“You no fun.”

“You’re just ornery.”

“Mr. Carter?”

It sounded so much nicer with a Spanish accent and a lilt of flirtation in it. “Yeah?” He turned back to the older teacher and quickly figured out why Rosalie wasn’t fond of her. She was about as warm as a witches tit.

“I need you to sign something.” She came towards them with a paper and pen and not a smile anywhere to be found.

“Me? What for?”

“If you’re going to be collecting Rosalinda up regularly, you need to be added to the list of approved adults. We just need you to sign the rule form and get a contact number for you.”

“Señora Burns. I like Rosalie, por favor.”

“And I like English, please.” Turning her attention from the glaring child, she smiled coldly at Nick. “This will only take a second.”

“Yeah, sure…are there problems with the wrong people picking up kids?” He took the paper and squatted down, having Rosalie turn her back to him so he could use her as a desk. As he quickly signed, he whispered in her ear, mocking the old biddy. “Rosaliiiiiiiiiiiinda.”

Rosalie giggled and Nick stood to hand the paper back to Mrs. Burns, waiting for an answer to his question before letting go of it.

“Sometimes. And we’ve had some, um…” she leaned in close so Rosalie couldn’t hear. Silly woman; Rosalie could hear whatever she chose to hear. “…unappealing types hanging around the playground. You can never be too careful.”

“Unappealing types?”

Rosalie tugged on the hem of Nick’s shirt and pulled. “Let’s GO!” Her eyes told a tale of not an impatient child, but one who did not want to be discussing whatever it was the grown-ups were discussing. Nick had seen that look in her eye before and didn’t like it.

“Ro, let me talk to Mrs. Burns for a minute. Do you want to finish what you were coloring while you wait?”

“No. I want to go home.”

“I can’t speak of this now anyway, Mr. Carter. A paper has gone to the children’s homes, so perhaps you can ask her mother.”

“See? C’mon, Nicky. I wanna hear the surprise!”

Nick reluctantly took a step further out of the classroom, but turned remembering one more thing.

“Oh and Mrs. Burns? In English or Spanish…it’s ‘Rosalie’.”

“Yes, Mr. Carter. Not every child here is bilingual and it’s unfair to tho-…”

Nick lifted his hand in a polite wave and cut her off. He didn’t want to hear some pedagogical mumbo jumbo as to why the woman was disrespectful of the child’s first language. Or her near perfect bi-lingual abilities. He didn’t want to hear another word out of her mouth at all.

“Vamos Rosalie. Mamí nos está esperando.” He shot one final glare to Mrs. Burns and grabbed his sweetie’s hand, escorting her out and tossing one more gratuitous “adios” her way.

“No me gusta Señora Burns, Nicky.”

“A mi tampoco, Muñe.”

Rosalie snickered and skipped alongside her buddy. Her Nicky. And he was right. Mamí was waiting and Mrs. Burns was unlikable. But she had Nick and while the ‘unappealing types’ that Mrs. Burns whispered about were always in the back of her mind, she tried to trust in a waiting mom and a loving Nick. She tried as hard as she could.

Rosalie was uncharacteristically quiet going home, but as soon as the car fell into park, she was out of the car and running up the stairs to see her mama. “Mamí! We’re home! What’s for dinner!?”

“Chicken. Go put on play clothes.”

She dumped her bag in the middle of the floor and started into the living room, stopping when she heard Nick loudly clearing his throat. “What?”

“Bag. Room.”

Her eyes narrowed and she angrily stomped back and picked it up, a cloud following her back toward the hall. “Hi, Ben. You gonna tell me to do something too?”

“Ben?” Nick kissed Solana and ducked under the cabinets to look into the living room. “He came home with you?”

“Tread lightly. Brittle little bug.”

“I’m thinkin’ everyone’s brittle lately.” Nick dipped a finger into whatever it was Lani was stirring on the stove and licked his finger. “Damn, you’re good.”

“I know it.” She closed the lid, swatting another invasive finger of his away. “Something happen at school?”

“Mrs. Burns. She’s a bit of a witch, isn’t she?” He turned and grabbed two bottled waters out of the fridge, running one along the nape of Lani’s neck causing her to hiss and turn, pelting him with the hand towel draped over her shoulder.

“And you’re a brat. What happened with the old bag?” She tried to take the other bottle of water from him, but he yanked it away. “Get your own. This is for the ‘bug’.”

“Fine. Mrs. Burns. I detest that woman.”

“She wouldn’t let Ro speak in Spanish; I thought that was a bilingual school.”

“The preschool is, but the after care…her class anyway is all English because she refuses to learn Spanish. She’s not real fond of us immigrants.”

“Immigrants? Jesus…they hired that?”

“Fun, huh? Welcome to my world.” Lani checked the chicken in the oven and stood, wrapping her arms around Nick’s waist and swiping the unopened bottle from the counter behind him. “You didn’t say anything stupid did you?”

“Me!? Stupid? Never.”

“Oh God…what’d you say?”

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head, wondering if the woman had even caught his sarcasm as he left. “I didn’t say anything mean, but I made sure Ro and I talked in Spanish as we left.”

“Smart ass.”

“Yup. So, um…she said they have been having people hanging around the school. Sent home a paper.”

Lani pulled away from him, opened her newly acquired bottle of water and busied herself doing kitchen-y things. Or so it looked. Nick had a hunch she wasn’t doing much of anything except avoiding the conversation and being a thief. “So, why don’t you go on in and talk to Spongebob Grumpy Pants in there.”

“I was talking to you.”

“Yup. And now you can go talk to Ben.” She offered up a cheesy grin and pushed him aside so she could retrieve another bottled water for the boy. “He needs you.”

He needs him. Aaron needs him. Lani needs him. Ro needs him. Good God…and who did Nick need?

Every last one of them.

Nick said nothing as he entered the living room, only offering Ben the bottled water. He looked outside in the direction Ben had been silently staring and wondered what could be going on in the young boy’s mind. “Enjoy your run?”

“If you’re gonna be a smart ass, just don’t bother, huh?” Ben yanked the bottle out of Nick’s hand and quickly opened it, chugging down a good quarter of the water before slamming it onto the coffee table. “Thanks.”

Nick nodded and sank into the overstuffed chair, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table with a loud, tennis-shoed thud.

“Shoes off the table, dude.”

“You my mama now, too? Gonna accuse me of giving you grief when you haven’t even talked to me in a week? Jesus, you sound just like her.”

“Don’t give me that shit. You and your family don’t have any problems.”

“You think you got all the answers, don’t you?”

“Am I wrong?”

“More than you know. Ever wonder why I never go home anymore, huh?”

“I just figured it was cuz of Miss Romero and Ro.”

“You figured wrong. And that’s why I invited Aaron to come to Thanksgiving. It has nothing to do with you.”

“When will it, Nick? When will anything have to do with me???”

“Is that it, Ben? You ran because you don’t think I give you enough time? Or is it enough space? Or maybe, I just don’t read your mind and know what the hell it is you want from me?”

“Maybe…” Ben stopped and finished off his bottle of water, quickly wondering if he wanted to continue this conversation or just storm out of the house and walk home. Home. Yeah. Right. No. “…maybe you can’t deal with the fact that I don’t want ,i>anything from you anymore. I’m doin’ just fine on my own.”

“I’d buy that if I could, Ben.”

“Maybe you’re not my hero anymore. Maybe I realized there’s no such thing. Maybe I learned that no one can be anyone’s hero. All you ever have is yourself.”

“You feelin’ good about that little realization, huh? You seem so happy.” The sarcasm that dripped from Nick’s words brought Lani out of the kitchen and into the room. These two loved each other too much for her to let it get ugly. They’d all come too far for that.

Ben looked up and saw Lani enter and rolled his eyes, angrily getting up and heading toward the back patio. “Yeah, here we go. Bring in the reinforcements to tell me I’m hurting myself and no one else.”

He waited for an argument from the adults and when he didn’t get one, he got even more frustrated and angry. While he surely wasn’t listening to reason, a bit of it might seep in if they’d just give it a try. But they didn’t. Proof positive that they really didn’t give a damn about his feelings. “Fine. You know what? I don’t know why I came over here. I’m leaving. I don’t need this shit.”

With great flourish, he slid the patio door open and slammed it shut, taking off around Lani’s backyard. They heard the gate lock and door slam and listened as his running steps echoed on the sidewalk as he disappeared down the street. When they heard nothing else, Nick took a deep breath, wanting to say something intelligent, but nothing intelligent seemed to be available.

“I suppose I shouldn’t go after him.”

“Nope. You need to mash the potatoes.”

“Can I pretend they’re his head?”

“Yes…but you’d better get this fixed before Aaron shows up, Nick.”

“Pfft. Great. I didn’t know I’d broken anything.”

“Anything else?” Nick looked around the kitchen for any stray dishes and seeing none, slammed the dishwasher closed.

“I think that’s it. No more room for anything anyway.” Lani turned the machine on and leaned up for a chicken flavored kiss.

“Come ON, Mamí! I wanna watch the movie!” Someone didn’t care about chicken flavored kisses.

“Rosalie, you’re being impolite. We’ll be there.” Lani sighed and wrapped her arms around Nick’s neck, trying to see past his mask of ‘everything’s okay’ into the truth of ‘I’m sick of all of this shit’ that she knew was hiding there. “Everything will get better.”

“Mmm…I’m thinking you ladies have it right. Men suck. All of us.”

“Aaron too?”

“Nah, he’s just…hurting. And that’s mostly a woman’s fault, so…yeah. I think I’m ready to get my boat and sail off into the sunset. You comin’ with?”

“Gotta take Miss Impatience in there with us.”

“Deal. You, me and Ro…sounds like the perfect family to me.”

Their eyes met at his casual words that both knew had much deeper implications. He took a breath to say something, but her finger pressed gently on his lips to quiet him. “Shh. Let’s leave it there for now, huh?”

He kissed her finger and brushed back a hair that had fallen out of its bun. “You’re done cooking. Can we take this down now?”

She smiled and nodded, waiting on him to do the honors, of which he did slowly and smoothly, pulling each pin out of her hair and running his fingers through the newly loosened waves. He pulled a bit of the length to the front of each shoulder and smoothed it down, watching his fingers as they ran gently over the chocolaty mane. “So beautiful.”

She closed her eyes at his gentle touch, leaning in to feel his body against hers.

“Mamí!!! You can kiss after I go to bed!” The voice that had called from the family room was now right next to them, making them both jump out of their skin and glare at the interruption.

Lani pulled away with a sigh and fell into Mamí role, albeit reluctantly. “What are we watching?”

“Aaron’s Concert. With Nicky there.”

“You’re going to see him in person in a few weeks!”

“Yup…and I see Nicky everyday now. But I’m ‘cited. He’s really gonna eat dinner at MY house???”

“Yep, he’s really gonna eat dinner at our house. He’ll be here about a week, so you’ll get lots of chances to see him.”

“Good. I wanna watch the concert now. Come on.” She took hold of Nick’s hand and pulled him into the room, yammering all the way about how cute his little brother was, about what she was going to show him in her bedroom, about what games he was going to play with her and about how many episodes of Dora he’d have to endure. Nick made a mental note to warn him. Or he’d be paying the kid back for life.

Rosalie hit ‘play’ on the remote and everyone was settled. She was all snuggled up to Nick on one side and Lani had her feet up in his lap from the other side. No one could have been more content.

And then the doorbell rang.

“Ah mi dios!” Lani got up to answer it, wondering if Nick or Ro had even heard the bell. They never budged. “It’s okay. Really. I’ll get it.”

When she came back in, however, she was insistent Nick knew. “Nick…I need you, por favor.”

Nick patted Rosalie’s behind for her to sit up. “Be back, Muñe.”

“Want me to pause?”

“No…I was there. I know what happened.” He casually waltzed into the room, figuring Lani wanted help making drinks or popcorn or something and almost fell over when he saw Ben sitting in the over stuffed chair with an ice pack on his face.

“Ben…”

“Promise you won’t preach. Just promise me that much.”

Nick walked around to the chair and squatted in front of his friend gingerly moving the pack to the side,

sucking in air in sympathetic pain as the purple, blue and black shades peeked out from underneath the washcloth covered ice. “I promise, bud…what happened?”

“I’m an asshole.”

“I could have told you that.”

“Don’t make me laugh either, dammit. It hurts.”

“Sorry…” Lani wordlessly grabbed his attention and motioned that she was going back in to be with the little one leaving the ‘men’ to sort out things. Black eye or no, this was ultimately a good thing…she hoped.

“I didn’t want to go home…cuz home sucks right now…”

“Seems like this is the only nice one lately, huh?”

Ben finally looked up to Nick, grimacing as he blinked. “Have you had one of these before?”

“Yep…2 -3 days it’ll quit hurting.”

“Great…just great.” He leaned back in the chair, trying to balance the ice pack on his face and swearing as it slid off. “Dammit.”

“You’re gonna have to hold it, dude. Keep it there for a bit then you can take it off for awhile.”

“I’m mad.”

“I know…so where did you go?” Nick finally stood and took a seat on the couch figuring this might be a long evening…without his girls.

“To the creek. I used to hang out there with Steve. The guys still do, I guess.”

“So did you just make nice with a rock or was someone there?”

“Oh, someone was there alright. I should have just gone home. I know what they do down there…why did I go?”

“Because you were mad…because you’re just like me and you run instead of dealing with shit.” Seeing Ben’s face fall, Nick did the only thing he knew how. He avoided. “You want something to drink?”

“I’m sorry, Nick. I’m mad at my mom, not you.”

“Nope, you were mad at me too…we’ll get there. Drink?”

“Water.”

Nick kept the conversation going as he got up, able to deal better with this heart to heart stuff in motion rather than sitting still. While he and Ben could have some good talks, sometimes it just got to be too much. Ben needed a strong man in his life and Nick rarely felt capable of fitting that bill. But, no one else could either, so he did his best. And right now, his best was fetching a water. It worked. “So who did this to you?”

“José. He was stoned.”

“He’s got a helluva punch. My arms turn to noodles when I’m stoned.”

“What?”

“Oh Jesus, Ben…you couldn’t have figured it out?” Nick offered the cold bottle to Ben and sat back down on the couch. That hadn’t taken nearly long enough. “Yeah, I’ve been stoned before.”

“Yeah, I guess I figured, but…” Ben grew silent for a moment, mulling that full realization over in his head. He had to have been stupid not to think Nick hadn’t experimented or hell, totally indulged. It was just something he didn’t want to think about. “Have you recently?”

“No…I don’t like noodle arms.”

Ben snickered and struggled with getting the lid off his bottle while balancing the ice pack. Nick let him struggle, stifling a chuckle when he got the ‘duh’ look on his face, letting the pack slide off for the 30 seconds it took to open the bottle. “You’d think I was crippled.”

“No, we decided you were just an asshole.”

“I am. As soon as I saw him and smelled the weed, I should have booked.”

“Probably.”

“But I was mad. Had to prove what a man I am. God, what an idiot.” Nick’s eyes narrowed in accusation and Ben quickly caught it. “No, I didn’t smoke any. Haven’t had any in over a year. Not goin’ back.”

“Smart man…maybe you’re not an asshole.”

“Oh, I’m an asshole. I provoked José, told him to leave. I’d call the cops.”

“Smooth.”

“Shut up, dude. I know, I know!!”

“So he decked you?”

“Well, eventually. He had to be a smart ass first, tell me I was useless without Miss Romero and ‘her bodyguard’ around. Started using a whole bunch of Spanish words that I knew were nothing but nasty shit for her. I freaked and went after him.”

“He’s the asshole, Ben.”

“This is true…anyway, his cronies grabbed me and held me so he could have a clear shot.”

“He got a clear shot alright.” Nick got up and pulled the ice pack back again, trying to hide the grimace from his face. “Keep it off for a bit now…you need some Tylenol or something?”

“Miss Romero already gave me some. I just wanna go to sleep.”

“Nope. Not yet. Stay up for a few hours. We’re watching an Aaron vid there, wanna come?” Nick smiled cheesily knowing full well Ben would rather get socked in the other eye.

“Uh, no. Can uh…can we go…somewhere?”

“Yeah…I think…hang on.”

“Gotta ask the boss? Dude, what’s gotten in to you?”

“No…just…shit’s been goin’ on here too. Lani doesn’t like to be left alone much anymore.”

Ben questioned, but Nick ignored for now, wanting to get down to the Aaron situation. If he was jealous of Nick’s savior complex before, Lani’s situation would only make it worse. Thing was, Nick didn’t feel much like a savior.

He just felt like he was the rock in everybody’s world.

It was getting old.

They ended up staying in. Ben’s head hurt too much to go anywhere and rolling his eyes at the concert Rosalie was squealing over sounded just about as tolerable as a throbbing head, so there they stayed. He waited for them to get the girl into bed, letting Ro kiss his boo-boo and getting a fresh pack of ice from his surrogate Mama.

“Thanks, Miss Romero.”

“So José did this to you? I’d like to clock him one.”

“Oh that’d help.”

“No, but it’d make me feel better. What is his issue with me anyway?”

“He can’t get away with stuff with you. I hated you for that too.”

“Now you love me.” She bent down and kissed his boo-boo too, ruffling his hair and propping his pillow. Yeah, so it was just a black eye. She was fixing his bruised ego. He needed some mothering and he wasn’t open to let his mom do it. She might as well. “You boys want to be alone?”

Ben turned to Nick and slammed the ice pack down. He was sick of it. “You headed out soon? I guess I have to go home some time.”

“Uh, no. I’m staying here for awhile…”

“Oh. I guess I have been out of it…” he stood and rocked on wobbly knees, grabbing the arm of the chair for balance. “I’ll just go now.”

“You will not. Siddown and talk.” Nick pushed him back into the chair and sat across from him on the fireplace ledge. “You made some pretty shitty accusations of me earlier and I wanna know what the hell I’ve done.”

“Oh. Yeah. That.”

“Yeah, that. Talk.”

They stared each other down for quite some time, Lani wondering if they had some secret mental language going or something. Finally Nick couldn’t take it anymore either.

“You heard me telling Lani about my brother coming…”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna meet him.”

“Because?...”

“Because he’s your brother. I’ll always be second. But as long as he’s not around…”

“There’s no competition, dude. He’s my brother. You’re my…my…you’re Ben. Aaron’s excited to meet you.”

“He is?” Ben’s eye lit up and he hissed at the pain when the black one tried to follow suit. “This sucks.”

“Ice again. And yes, he is. He needs to get away from Mom for awhile and I figured that’d be a good time. He pulled out of a gig Thanksgiving day and we’re gonna hang for a week or so. But he knows you’re part of my life. Lani, Ro, all of you.”

“But he IS your life.”

“Well, yeah, but so are you guys. You finally shared Jack with me…why can’t I share Aaron with you?”

“It’s not the same.”

“How?”

“I shared you with Jack…not the other way around.”

“Why are you doin’ this, Ben?” Ben shot a glare up, but looked down again immediately. He knew Nick was right. He was being ridiculous. “Don’t you know I’m not goin’ anywhere? I’m in this for the long haul. Recording, touring, success, failure, you guys are in my life no matter what.”

“I know you say that…and I wanna believe you, Nick, I do…” He was not going to cry. The salt would kill his eye and he was not going to…

…he sniffed and angrily wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Lani took the cue of boy turning to mush and quietly left them alone. No need to embarrass the kid further.

“I can’t make you believe in me, Ben. That’s totally up to you. But, dude. You need to realize I have other people in my life that matter a helluva lot to me. And right now, my brother needs me. That doesn’t mean I’m not here for you too.”

“Okay, so what happens when it gets to be too much, huh? Guys leave. No guy sticks around when it gets rough. You’re so busy fixing everyone else’s shit that…what happens to us when you get tired of it?”

Nick didn’t like how close to home Ben was hitting. The truth was, he was getting sick of the constant state of need everyone seemed to be in. He loved staying at Lani’s house and being with his girls, no doubt, but he knew full well that when she felt confident again or when Neron made his wishes known and disappeared, he’d be back in his house on the gulf. And lately, it seemed he only saw Ben if he was upset about something. Without the required weekly meetings, their time had faltered to ‘now and then’ instead of ‘when again?’ Thing was with Ben’s needs as of late, there was no cure. Patty wasn’t leaving Darren and he was just going to have to deal.

Which might explain his foul mood lately. Not a great thing to come to grips with. Aaron’s situation was more than similar and it was another reason he thought the two boys would hit it off. His mom was philandering with some other dude and his folks were separated fighting about money and custody. Whose money? Nick and Aaron’s. It made him sick. And grateful he was hours away from it. But, it also meant Aaron needed to get away. To feel like someone loved him for him and nothing else.

And really, that’s all Ben needed too. It’s all any of them needed.

Including Nick.

But now, he had to answer Ben’s loaded question. With an answer he really hadn’t thought through, but he by no means doubted.

“I raise my white flag, say I’m tired and hope I get a break. I dunno, Ben. I can only say I’m not walking. If I feel like someone’s taking advantage, then yeah…we’ll have a problem. But I’ve never felt that from any of you.”

“Why’d you step in on José today?”

“Because he called Lani a bitch. I don’t think straight when I hear that shit. Especially comin’ out of a kid.”

Ben nodded and played with a stray thread on the washcloth that held his ice pack.

“Why? Did it upset you?”

“A little, yeah. Miss Romero told me I was in charge of him at the center. I had it okay.”

Nick doubted, but it really wasn’t his place. “Then I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I get crazy with my girls is all.”

Ben smiled and laid his head back on the chair. “I have a dumb question.”

“Hit me.”

“You want a black eye too?”

“Ha. What?”

“Is it okay if I see them as my girls too? I mean, I know Lani is...yours and all, but…” he looked up at his friend with a wishful look about him. “You know what I mean?”

“I think they’d like that.”

“Okay, so if they’re my girls too…will you let me deal with José?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know…”

“I know. You can have Kitty and Liz. How’s that?”

“Oh no…no trading, dude. We share ‘em all…unless…” Nick got a conniving look about him and he scooted up on the ledge to get closer to Ben. “…unless we pawn ‘em all off on Aaron. Then we’ll be scott free.”

“Oohh…now you’re talkin’, dawg. Now you’re talkin’!”

By some miraculous turn of events, things went smoothly for awhile. Ben was still more than irritated at his mother, but she had kept to her word and kept Darren out of the picture whenever the kids were around. Unfortunately, that meant more babysitting of his sibs, but he was truly okay with that. Unless he had plans too. But, Erin seemed to have a soft spot for Liz and she’d come help, so it all worked out in the wash. Sort of. He couldn’t get past his grave disappointment in his mother. No matter what he did.

Neron hadn’t been seen nor heard from since his appearance at the park, but no one at the Romero’s seemed too anxious to kick Nick back to his own place. Until Aaron came, and then he voluntarily left. He needed to be with his brother. Alone. At least now and then.

But, he was also true to his word to Ro and she got to spend lots of time with her idol. Her Aaron. She had a habit of taking possession of whoever grabbed her heart. How, no one knew, but what was more interesting was that no one complained. Having Ro call you ‘hers’ somehow was an okay thing. Because to truly belong to that little girl, you had to be yourself. She was too smart for any bullshit. And Aaron needed that right now. No faking allowed.

Thanksgiving was finally upon them, as was the meeting of the two boys. If it didn’t work, it was going to be a long weekend because Nick had promised a boat outing to both Ben and Aaron. Over night. Far from home. The only way out was into the water. Of course if Ben’s jealousy became too much of an issue “man overboard” might be a nice solution.

“Keys.”

“Keys? What is this?” Nick smirked at his brother and tossed his keys over the hood of his truck. “You just expect to drive all the time now?”

“Basically. I’m better than you anyway.”

“Yeah, you didn’t have four dimwits trying to teach you to drive.” Nick tossed the bags of 2-liter pop onto the floor in back and got in smacking Aaron on the head as he met him inside. For no apparent reason.

Aaron smacked back without so much as a thought and turned the ignition silently thanking the gods for his brother. For his tormenting and mostly for the fact that no matter what happened, no matter how much life sucked, he had Nick.

The truck started with a purr and he backed out of the garage, remembering some of his driving lessons with his folks. ‘Unpleasant memory’ didn’t begin to explain. “I just had mom and dad. Not sure what was worse. His braking the floorboard all the time or mom’s incessant screeching.”

“Mmm…I think I’ll take Kevin’s constant criticism, thanks.”

“Made me figure it out fast anyway…get them off my ass.”

“So, uh…” Nothing had been mentioned yet about the illustrious “mom and dad”. Aaron avoided at every turn and the truth was, Nick wasn’t in the mood to hear it anyway. He invited Aaron so the kid could have an escape from the nightmare that had become his parents divorce. Thing was, Aaron looked like hell. He was pale and gaunt and just…not himself. It worried Nick and also pissed him off that his folks could be so selfish as to let things get so bad that Aaron would be showing signs of wear and tear from it.

“Not now…holiday. Ben. The girls. Nope.”

“When?”

“Never is soon enough, Nick. You know them. You know it sucks. I just don’t want to think about it. I wanna suck down a turkey.”

“You gotta beat me to it, dude.”

Aaron pulled up to a traffic light and slowly turned his gaze to his older brother, raising his eye brows in an ornery competitive lilt. “Is Lani all hyper with manners and shit?”

“Uh, in front of Ro? Yeah. I think we’d better behave today. Too many kids around. She’ll be mothering all of us.”

“How many are gonna be there?”

“Whole Casey family.” Nick started counting on his fingers, previously unaware of how crowded the house would be. “…so that’s Patty, Ben, Jack, Liz, Amy, Kitty and then Lani and Ro, you and me. Ten of us.”

“Damn. And you think Ben’s gonna be a pain?”

“He’d better not be. But, he’s had me to himself for over a year now, Air. He’s real possessive for some reason.”

“Maybe with his family there he’ll be okay?”

“I’m hopin’ so. Take him out for some basketball if nothing else. He’ll probably whip your ass and it’ll all even out.”

“Oh you think so, huh?” Aaron got to the neighborhood he’d become familiar with in the past few days and froze. “Crap. Which way again?”

“Right. Ben lives down this street on the left.”

Aaron nodded and turned the corner, his memory coming back quickly. “It’s the one up here with the cool landscaping, right?”

“Yup. Wait’ll you see her palm tree in back. I can’t believe it’s still standing.”

“I take it you planted it.”

“You don’t have to know everything…”

Aaron giggled and pulled up to the curb, putting the truck in park. “And if Ben hates me?”

“You’re my brother. Ben will have to get over it.”

“Aaron! Aaron! Aaron!” Nick hadn’t even shut the backdoor of his truck before Rosalie had busted out of the house and practically tackled Aaron in the yard.

“Woah, Ro!” Aaron fell to the ground, pulling her down with him and flipping her on her back tickling her mercilessly. Nick just stood there with the bottles of pop looking like an ignored little puppy.

“That’s okay. I’ll just mosey on up to the house myself. No greeting needed for me. Nope. I’m fine.” Yes, he was joking. Yes, he was a hair jealous. Yes, he felt stupid about it. Yes, he knew it was unreasonable.

As his hand found the screen door, he felt a tug on his shirt hem. “I don’t forget you, Nicky…pick me up.”

“My hands are full.” Who said you had to be mature at age 23? Besides, she was cute when she begged.

“Then put that stuff down.” Her hands went up and Aaron swiped the bags of bottles out of Nick’s hands.

“Quit bein’ a putz. Pick up the child.” He marched into the house and stopped cold. The flurry of activity before him stunned him, and seeing as how he knew only one person in the mess, he had an overwhelming urge to run the other way.

Nick and Rosalie plowed into the back of him, totally in their own private world until they heard his “oof” upon impact. “Dude…move in the house.”

“You sure there’s only 10 people here?”

“Yup! 10. I set the table myself. And guess where you’re sitting?” Rosalie kissed Nick’s cheek and wiggled back down to the floor.

“I bet I’m next to you.”

“You bet right.” She pulled him down to her and whispered loud enough for the whole house to hear. “And you can eat my sweet potatoes so Mamí thinks I cleaned my plate.”

“You don’t like sweet potatoes?”

She shivered and skipped off, falling into the hole of helping and being in the way. Right where she belonged.

“She thinks I’m eatin’ her sweet potatoes? I hate sweet potatoes!”

“Then you’ve never eaten mine, young man.” Aaron turned to the voice and stepped back somewhat taken with her, well…with the homeliness of the woman before him. “I’m Patty. You must be Nick’s brother.”

Smooth, Aaron. “Oh. Yeah. Hi.” He finally offered a hand to shake, not even realizing they were still full of bags of pop bottles. “Oh. Sorry. I’ll uh…take these to the uh…”

“I got ‘em, hon. You go on in and meet my family. They’ve been looking forward to this.”

Aaron felt a push on his back and shot a look back to the culprit. “I’m goin’, I’m goin’.”

“Hang tight. I gotta kiss the cook and then we’ll go together, huh?”

“Yeah, um…lemme come with you. I’m feeling the need to kiss something too.”

“Stay away from my woman, dawg. You already stole my girl.”

Aaron was about to plaster his brother against a wall. Nick hadn’t had the decency to warn him he was walking into fan club central. Between Kitty’s refusal to look at him, Liz’s pawning all over him and Rosalie’s…Rosaliness – which was totally fine – he thought he might explode. He decided to make nice with the cute kid stirring gravy, whose name had already escaped him.

“It’s lookin’ good, dude.”

“Yeah, taste it. Miss Romero puts cool seasonings in the bird, so the gravy’s really good.” Jack lifted up a wooden spoonful of the goo and Aaron swiped a finger through it and into his mouth, closing his eyes at the rich, unexpected flavor.

“Mmm…oh God…” Okay, a small fan club over good food. He could deal. However, there was one person he had yet to meet. “Where’s your brother?”

“I think he has Amy out back.”

God, even more people. Aaron looked back to Nick for some support and got none, only seeing his brother pinching Lani’s ass as she bent into the oven to check something. “Hey, hornball!”

“You talkin’ to me?” Nick leaned around Lani and swiped a taste of stuffing before she could shove it back into the oven.

“Out. Now. You’re a nuisance.” She smacked him with her oven mitt and shooed both Carter boys out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. Someone’s missing…” He pointed to the patio door and took another lick of his gravy flavored finger. “God, that woman can cook.”

“Why I’m keepin’ her.” He draped an arm around his brother’s shoulder and led him to the patio door. “Let’s get this over with.”

Before Aaron could think twice about it, he was standing outside watching a small toddler squealing and running from her teenaged brother. While the age difference was bigger than it was for he and Nick, he couldn’t help but wonder if this is what they were like so many years ago. A blond boy chasing a diaper-bottomed blonde toddler, no one quite sure which one was having more fun.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaamy…come see me, sweetie!” Nick joined in on the chase and Amy squealed all that much louder, finally tumbling off of her stubby legs and letting the boys gently tackle and tickle her. “Where are your pants, girl? You can’t run around here half naked!”

“This isn’t the first time she’s been on her back. Fell into the garden earlier and soaked her pants.”

“Oops.” Nick picked Amy up, blowing raspberries on her neck, temporarily forgetting about the two strangers left standing to stare.

“Uh, hi. I’m Aaron.” Maybe it’d be better coming from him than Nick anyway.

“Oh. Yeah. Figured. Ben…you, uh…had a good week here so far?” Nick peeked up from his playtime with Amy and went right back to it as soon as he saw the boys were doing just fine.

“Come on, Aims…let’s go find you some pants.” He took her inside, not giving them two cents of his time or concern. The less interference, the better.

And he was right…Aaron already felt more relaxed without Nick hanging around. It made no sense, but there it was. “Yeah, yeah…just chillin’ ya’ know? You comin’ on the boat with us this weekend?”

“Definitely. It’s been awhile. How, uh…how long will you be here?”

“I think through Monday. I gotta get back…” Aaron stopped and heaved a sigh, looking inside at what ‘home’ now was for his brother, aching for what used to be at his own. “Yeah, I gotta get back home.”

Seeing Aaron shoving his hands in his pockets and knowing full well that it meant ‘I’m uncomfortable’ because it was his own signal, he suddenly realized that in many odd ways, they might have more in common than Nick. “You know, this is my first normal Thanksgiving. Ever.”

“Really? I’m not so sure what normal is, but…yeah, this feels like…like it should.”

They shared nervous smiles and took one more glance into the house. It looked like no one was missing them yet, so they might as well enjoy the nice day together. “Shoot some hoops?”

“Yeah, yeah…where’s a…hoop?”

“Up front. On the garage. Come on.”

Lani watched the exchange from her kitchen window and finally turned away when she saw them disappear from the yard.

“Are they gonna be okay?” Patty pulled the stuffing out of the oven and swiped her own taste of it, moaning at the flavor. So different from what she was used to, but oh so delicious. She couldn’t imagine how good it’d be from inside the bird.

“Yep, they’ll be fine.”

“Can I go outside with them, Mamí?”

“Nope, you stay and help Liz put ice in glasses. Ben and Aaron need to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Eh, it’s a guy thing, Ro…boys are silly.”

“Yeah…” She hopped off the barstool and ran to the front window to watch them play in the driveway. “Boys are silly…but I like ‘em anyway.”

Ben and Aaron returned panting and sweating, both convinced they’d whooped the other one, all fronts of friendly competition temporarily put aside for their audience.

“Your rebounds, dude….you suck.”

“Yeah, well, they wouldn’t if you’d quit foulin’ me so much. God, you’re everywhere.”

“But I won, didn’t I?”

“In your rules, yeah…”

Their talk went back and forth, the ball being tossed chest to chest with each attack and no one knew who won, who lost or really, who cared. Neither had wiped a smile off of their exhausted faces. And it had been way too long since a smile had visited those faces, so it felt warm and nice… and in need of food to celebrate.

“When’s dinner?”

“Now. Rosalie called you in 10 minutes ago.” Lani took hold of both of their shirt sleeves and tugged them down the hall and into the guest bath. “Wash quickly. Ben, show him where the washcloths are.”

As she left, the boys stood looking at each other, raising their eyebrows at her bossy demands. “Pushy broad, ain’t she?”

“She sounds exactly like what my brother needs.”

Yanking two washcloths from the linen cabinet, Ben tossed one to Aaron, chuckling as he turned on the water. “No doubt, dude. No flippin’ doubt.”

They washed up as well as teenaged boys are bound to wash and ended up in a water battle, flicking water at each other, quickly wiping down the walls and mirrors and then starting up again.

The door abruptly opened and Nick stood firmly in the doorway. “Don’t make me pull Dad on you, guys. Everyone’s waiting.”

Ben and Aaron rolled their eyes at his much overused phrase, tossed their washcloths into the sink, and slipped their shirts back on, trying not to giggle. They failed miserably. They followed Nick into the dining room, tails firmly tucked between their legs. Until they were to part at the table, Aaron to sit between Ro and Kitty and Ben to sit between Nick and Liz.

“Pushy dude, ain’t he?”

Aaron smacked Ben’s arm and laughed out loud, silencing quickly when he realized that he and Ben were the only two laughing. “Sorry. We, uh….yeah.” He looked around and caught a glimmer of a chuckle in Kitty’s eye, relieving him of his nervous tension. “Sorry.”

Rosalie patted his arm and leaned over to him. “It’s okay, Aaron. At least I’m not the one in trouble this time.”

“Glad to be of help.”

“Turkey?”

Aaron looked up to Kitty shyly smiling and offering the plateful of meat, and the meal began. The family communed, the newest member feeling more at home than he had in months. They all did. It was a funny little home, but it was home.

And they were thankful.

The meal finished, the football games were turned on and the final pan was washed and put back into the cabinet. “Did we miss any of the Miami game?” Nick fwapped Ben on the head with the towel starting their third or fourth fight since starting the clean up process.

“No, although I don’t know how. If you guys would have worked instead of goofing off so much, you’d have been done a long time ago.”

“We got it done, didn’t we?” With much dramatic flair, Nick scooped Rosalie up from the couch and put himself in her spot, snuggling in between Aaron and Lani. None of the three were tremendously happy about his wider load shoving in the middle of their very happy spot.

“I was sitting there, Nicky.”

“Now I am…you can sit on my lap.” She crawled onto Aaron’s instead and as Nick turned to express his injury at her gesture, he was greeted with two tongues sticking out at him. “Nice, guys. Real nice.”

Liz felt for the fool and crawled up, mumbling about hating football, but might like it better from Nick’s lap. Solana grumbled and scooted over, bumping more into the arm of the couch than she had been. “Anyone else want to come up here? I don’t think we have quite enough.”

Stupid call. Jack and Ben fell into the pile and Amy, never wanting to be left out, clamored down from her mother’s arms and added to the mass of arms legs and giggles. Solana peeked out and caught Kitty’s eye…just as it disappeared behind the viewfinder of her camera and snapped a shot.

“Oh, you little…”

“Mom? You wanna be the cherry on top?”

“NOOOO!” Everyone moved quickly, some from their own volition, others from being pushed, some landing squarely on their feet, others firmly on their bottoms.

“You know, I should be offended by that.” Patty chuckled and snagged the camera out of Kitty’s hand, snapping a few pictures of mussed hair, hiked up shirts, and although she wasn’t quite sure how it happened…an upside down Liz, legs up on Nick’s lap and head hanging backwards. Ben and Patty caught eyes and for the first time in weeks, shared a smile as he took the camera from her and took her picture…wanting to have her sweet, albeit semi-toothless smile as a permanent memory.

“I’m sorry, Mama.”

The room stilled, no one wanting to watch the moment unfold and no one wanting to turn away.

But Ben and Patty didn’t care. No one else existed for the moment. Just them.

“Me too, baby.”

Another gaze, another pause and then…a perfectly timed change of subject.

“Dónde está el flan, Mamí?”

Lani looked to her daughter, accusation for speaking Spanish in front of guests quickly melting as she saw how tired the child was from the early morning of bird preparation and Aaron excitement. It was a moment to choose ones wars with a child and this war would not be fought. Asking for dessert was hardly worth a war.

“En la nevera.”

Ro climbed off Aaron’s lap, stepped over Liz’s head, stopped to pose for a picture and quickly went back to being the center of her mother’s world. “Vamos a comer un poco!”

Nick tickled the bottom of Liz’s feet, finally moving her from upside down to a 7 yr. old pile on the floor. “Cómo puedes tener hambre ya?” Hungry. Ro was hungry? He didn’t want to see food for at least another…hour.

She shrugged and answered with the simpleton answer a four year old should have. “No lo se, pero tengo hambre.” Who knew why? Who cared? She wanted flan and she wanted it now. End of discussion.

Lani started to get up and Nick patted her thigh, telling her to stay put. She’d done enough for the day. “Sientate. Yo lo busco. Alguien más?” When no one answered, he caught himself and went back to English. “Anyone else? Sorry.”

Eight hands slowly raised and Nick shook his head and headed into the kitchen to figure out how to serve flan. It couldn’t be too hard, could it? Pudding…sorta.

Rosalie saw Nick’s empty spot on the couch and giggled, climbing right back where she had been earlier, never noticing the look of utter shock on Aaron’s face.

Lani, however, didn’t miss it. “What?”

“When did he…how long has he…was that even right?”

“What, his Spanish? Oh yeah…he does fine. He didn’t tell you?”

“Uh, no. He can’t even speak English right half the time.”

“I taught him!! You wanna learn?” Rosalie was bouncing on the couch in anticipation of teaching Aaron Spanish. It might mean he’d stay forever. “I can teach you too.”

Aaron simply turned his gaze back to the TV, still dumbfounded at this life his brother was leading. He felt so out of touch. So out of…touch. And yet, it all seemed to feel so right.

“Aaron, get in here and help me serve this stuff up, huh?”

Rosalie smacked Aaron’s leg when he didn’t even budge at his brother’s plea. “Nick wants you, silly.”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Mi hermano.” His brother. How could someone seem so different and yet so much the same? He felt like he’d entered the twilight zone.

Aaron played butler and served everyone at their seats in front of the television, interminable pre-game yammering going on, post-game pondits rambling on about the Detroit game and pre-game predictors spouting off their infinite wisdom on the ups and downs of the Miami match. Even to sports fans like Ben, Aaron and Nick, it was ridiculous. However, as soon as the flan hit everyone’s lips, no one could speak. Moaning was about as profound as it got.

“You know what the best part of this day has been so far…besides the food, of course.” Nick looked up to his brother, expecting some sort of sentimental sap and started preparing a smart-assed retort.

“What’s that?” Rosalie’s spoon hit the plate as she finished and her butt hit Aaron’s lap immediately after.

“Well, okay, besides the food and you…” Rosalie snuggled into her Aaron and decided she was going to keep him. “…it’s not having to fight off the stupid dogs and cats while we eat. I don’t know how to act.”

“You have pets? How many?”

Nick laughed and collected empty plates, making Lani wonder what drug he had taken to suddenly turn him into Mr. Domesticity. But, her wonders ceased when he brought the stack of plates and forks to her, smiling victoriously. But she got him.

“Thanks. Here’s mine. Just stick ‘em in the sink, huh?”

With a wink, he grabbed her plate and tossed a question over his shoulder as he disappeared yet again. “Yeah, Aaron…how many pets do you have now? Have they started breeding between species, yet?”

“How many? Uh, I have no idea…we have a ton of dogs, cats, birds…I have an iguana, um…peacocks, fish…”

“You have a zoo!”

“You don’t have any pets?”

Everyone in the room shook their head and Nick returned picking up right where he’d left off. “Nah, they don’t need pets. They’re all animals.”

Ignoring Nick, Jack was busy mentally sifting through Aaron’s list, settling on one in particular. “You have an iguana?? I’ve always wanted an iguana.”

“And I’ve always said no way. No reptiles in my house.”

And so the discussion went, Aaron talking about his animals, everyone piping in with the animal of their dreams, Lani silently grateful she had been able to keep the animal talk down to a quiet skirmish in her house. The last thing she needed was someone else to take care of.

“Hey wait! I did have a pet! Mom, you remember…” Kitty’s face lit up for the first time all day. Not that she’d been sad, she’d just been…hidden.

“I do?”

“Yeah, Ben you might too. I got it from the aquarium on a school trip. That guppy. Second grade?”

“Uh…no, I don’t remember a guppy.”

“Well, yeah. I think it lived like…2 days.”

“Oh yeah! I remember. I had to flush the dumb thing. It wouldn’t go down.”

“Yeah…you flushed Lisa.” Kitty put on a pout good enough to elicit a car from the stingiest of fathers. Aaron thought he might fall off the couch. And then her words hit him.

“Lisa? You named your guppy Lisa??”

“Yes…Lisa was the name of my best friend in second grade.” Aaron started laughing, not noticing that no one else was joining him, and really, not caring all that much either. He had no idea why this struck him so funny, but there it was. Lisa. A guppy named Lisa. A dead guppy named Lisa, no less. “What???”

Kitty’s giggles joined Aaron’s and in between his own gasps for air, he’d ask again. “A guppy? Named Lisa?”

“Yes! I was seven!” The giggles and laughs spread across the room, not at the poor guppy’s name, but at Aaron’s uncontrollable laughter at it. Okay, so Lisa was not a name for a fish, but it wasn’t that funny.

“Lisa, the guppy. Here floats the beloved Lisa.” Aaron was almost crying now and Kitty wasn’t far behind, smacking Aaron now and then, forgetting in the midst of it who this young man was. He stopped being Aaron Carter and just like his brother before him…turned into just Aaron. Just a guy. A guy who was making fun of her pet fish named Lisa.

“Stop it! I loved that stupid guppy!”

“For two days!”

“I was seven! I even wrote about it in my diary.” Kitty smiled proudly as she quoted her eloquent, deep-hearted words of a mourning child…decorated with a smile. “Today my guppy Lisa died. I am very sad.”

Aaron finally fell over onto the floor, stupid laughter wracking his body, Rosalie tumbling into him with giggles of her own and Amy following suit. Kitty sat on her spot on the floor, trying to stifle her smirks, arms crossed, pout protruding from underneath her smile, and an occasional kick going into the pile of arms and legs making sure she only landed on Aaron.

“A guppy named Lisa! I’m surprised you didn’t set up a monument in the bathroom for her!”

“Your mama’s gonna have to set up a monument for you pretty soon if you don’t hush!” She kicked again, burying her face in her hands with embarrassment, thrill for the sweet moment and a secret wish that her boyfriend could temporarily disappear so she could give it a go with this one. She’d never had so much fun with Brad before. Nice guy. Kinda boring.

One more kick for good measure and Aaron finally grabbed her foot, pulling her closer to the pile of Aaron and girls. She scooted in and ruffled his hair, catching his eye in an upside smile as his head came close to resting in her lap. The giggles stopped and Rosalie heard the feelings dashing between the two teenagers.

She climbed off of him and shoved her face between the lovebirds, facing Aaron. “Uh, Aaron?”

“Yes, Rosalie?”

Leaning down to his ear, she filled him in on the all important fact. “She has a boyfriend already.”

“Ah…thanks for telling me.” He raspberried her cheek and pushed her aside, sliding up and planting himself next to the guppy mourning blonde who, at least for the rest of his day, was going to be the center of his attention. Boyfriend or no. She was cute. She had finally let that wall down. He was goin’ in. Partially. As he lifted his arm to wrap it around her shoulder, he caught Ben’s eye and read very clearly, “don’t touch the sister.” His arm went back down and the football game finally started.

Much to the relief of everyone.

Third quarter and Rosalie and Amy had disappeared into Ro’s room for some young girlie play, Rosalie thrilled at the thought of being the older and wiser of the two. Lani took the opportunity of a commercial break to go check on them, as they had fallen sinfully quiet.

Finding two sleeping angels, she covered them up on their respective spots on the floor and went back to the game, snuggling into Nick, into the warmth of their day, their friends and loved ones. It was truly a perfect holiday. Her favorite Thanksgiving ever.

And like it had weeks before, interrupting a perfectly contented afternoon, the doorbell rang.

And no one budged. No one wanted to budge. No one was welcome into this cocoon they’d created for themselves. But, it rang again and Ben finally stood to answer it, more out of curiosity than anything else. “I got it, really. It’s okay.”

“Good. Send ‘em away whoever it is.”

He was gone for only moments, but came back a different boy than he had left. He was shaken and angry and cold. Insolent in his words to his mother. “It’s for you.” Without even a stop in the room, he kept walking to the patio and exited out back, slamming the door behind him, making everyone in the room jump.

Patty quickly stood and headed to the front door, leaving the younger kids totally confused and their visitor even more so. He looked to Kitty for answers and only got a shrug and a flippant. “Don’t know. Might be her boyfriend. Ben hates him.”

“Why?”

Another shrug and Aaron’s questions went to Nick, and with only visual language between them, Aaron realized now was not the time. But, he’d found a connection with Ben before. Hell, maybe he would again. Besides, Miami was trouncing the competition. This might be more exciting. He got up and went out back, happy no one tried to stop him.

“Hey…”

Ben was sitting at the picnic table, chin resting angrily on his folded hands. “Hey.”

Aaron said not another word, but took a seat on the end of the bench, occasionally looking up to watch the rest of the crew cheer for something happening on the game. Sometimes talking sucked. Knowing someone was there to listen in case you wanted to, however? That was always good.

“Miami score again?”

“Don’t think so.”

“You gonna ask who was at the door?”

“No.”

Ben sighed, deciding to talk anyway. “Mom’s boyfriend. He’s a dick.”

“So’s my mom’s.”

He looked to Aaron, partially feeling sympathy, partially feeling jealousy. “At least you have a dad to go to.”

“Mmm…not always good. Dad can be a dick, too.”

Ben sat up and straddled the bench, facing Aaron. “I wish I had a dad.”

“You don’t have one?”

“Well, I mean, some dude nailed Mom and here I am. Same one who nailed her to get Kitty. I never met him, though.”

“Ah…yeah, that’s gotta be weird. What about Jack and them?”

“Jack and Liz have another dad. They knew him. Used to come around some weekends and stuff, but when Nick showed up, that stopped.”

“Wow…and Amy?”

Pointing to the front of the house, Ben explained. In small detail. “That’s Amy’s dad…I don’t know what he wants.”

“Maybe he wants Amy?”

“Pft. Right. Took off as soon as Mom told him she was pregnant. Just like Miss Romero’s dude with Ro. I swear, men are assholes.”

“Yeah, we can be…” A roar erupted from inside the house, causing both boys to peek in. “Looks like Miami scored again. Wanna go back in?”

“Might as well.” Aaron patted Ben’s back as he followed him inside, keeping his hand on his shoulder as they noticed Patty gathering things from around the room and sticking them in her bag, mumbling off directions to the kids.

“Don’t overstay your welcome, Kitty, you help Miss Romero clean up the kitchen, Liz and Jack, 10:00 bedtime and Lani? Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yep. We’re all big fat vegetables now anyway. I’ll kick ‘em out in a bit.”

With a wave and final quick look around the room for anything of hers, Patty waved and disappeared out of the room leaving Ben standing in the middle of it, dumbstruck and silent as he heard the front door close and the sounds of an old beat up pick-up truck revving in the driveway.

“Miami just scored again, dude…siddown.” Nick, of all people should get this. Why didn’t he?

“Hello?”

Everyone looked up from the game and at least to Ben’s eyes, showed absolutely no emotion at what had just happened. Not a glimmer of care.

“Am I the only person who is upset that our mom just walked out on us for Thanksgiving?”

“She just went to the movies, dude.” Jack got up and helped himself to a drink, sick of his brother’s dramatics. He didn’t get it. He didn’t want to get it. He just wanted it to stop.

Ben huffed, looked to Nick for some sort of support and only got a ‘not now’ look.

Not now. Not now. When? When would Darren leave? When would he quit feeling so threatened by the man? When would he forgive his mother? When would he feel ‘okay’ again?

Not now, apparently.

Resigning to the fact that no one else was terribly upset about this, Ben took another breath and settled down on the floor to watch the remainder of the game.

Which came all too quickly. Because now, they all had to go home and Ben didn’t want to go home knowing where his mother was and why she wasn’t there to put the leftovers in the fridge or tuck Amy in for bed. That be his job. Or Kitty’s.

“Come home with us, dude.”

“Huh?” Ben looked up from his pity party and saw Aaron’s hand offering to help him stand. “Nah…I should head home.”

“Kitty said she had Amy and to tell you to come home with us. She didn’t want your grouchy face there anyway.”

“Oh, nice.” He chuckled in spite of himself and looked to Nick who was too busy snuggling with Rosalie who had stumbled in from her nap. “He ready to go?”

“Yup…let’s go pull the female off of him.”

“Such a rough life he leads.”

With much giggling, tugging, bouncing of curls and occasional whines, the three boys pulled away from their two girls and were off, ready for a few days of guy time. Hopefully it would include a boat, sunshine, pizza, fishing, swimming and absolutely no sleep. Or very little of it anyway. At least none that started before 3 am and ended before noon.

When morning broke the next day, they all willingly got up early, packed up lunches, clothes, fishing gear and plenty to drink. All three of them needed this diversion. And all the anxiety each of them had been carrying about it before was gone. Aaron and Ben were fine. And Nick couldn’t be more relieved.

The trip flew by without a hitch, without a cloud in the sky, without a fish to be caught. As Nick pulled the boat back into the slip, he couldn’t help but sigh at the peace he felt. Ben and Aaron had spent a lot of time in the back of the boat, feet dangling off the side and talking. Nick just kept to himself figuring that maybe this was a time where they needed a peer and not his nosey input. Their situations were so different, yet so similar that he felt like he’d just be in the way. Besides, it allowed him to daydream a little…and that was alright too.

But by the time they’d unloaded the boat, Nick felt like he was the subject of some behind the scenes scheming. Aaron and Ben were way too buddy-buddy and they had “conniving” written all over their faces.

“What? You two look dangerous.”

“Dangerous? Us? Never.” Aaron picked up the cooler Nick had plopped at his feet and quickly went into the house, hoping to make sure all the plans were squared away before springing it all on Nick.

Before Nick headed back to the boat to get another load, he shot a warning glare at Ben, who promptly ignored him. “Why would we be dangerous? We’re just kids.”

“Oh yeah…right. Pft. No dinner ‘til you tell me what’s up.” Nick tossed a bag of dirty clothes to Ben and shooed him inside while he took one more once over to make sure they got everything. “I knew I should have never introduced them. My life will be cleaning up their messes from now on.”

He grabbed up a few stray towels and went inside, only to find the two boys sitting at his bar, facing the patio door, looking like they were ready to pass judgment.

“Siddown. We have a deal for you.” Ben crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter, sand falling off of his feet as he wiggled his toes.

“I thought we didn’t do deals…”

“Nope. We did one, remember? You told me about Lani first if I kept it quiet that you were…waiting. Or something. Hell, I dunno. It made sense at the time.” Ben’s patience didn’t allow for weird rationalizations. Not now. He had an agenda in mind.

“Ah, yeah…okay, so what’s the deal? And I’m still thinking. I don’t trust you, little brother.”

With a dramatic fist to his chest, Aaron pouted. “You wound me.”

“You’ll heal…what’s up?”

“Okay, here’s the deal. You said yesterday that you haven’t been out with Lani since you got back.”

“Nope. Not like I haven’t seen her, but…”

“Well, you need a date night. And we’re going to give you one tomorrow.”

“Oh you are, huh? Have you talked this over with the boss?”

“We thought we were.”

Nick stared at the boys like they had just flown in from Altoona. And then he snickered and walked away. “You have a lot to learn yet, mah friends. I’m all about it, but you gotta clear it with Lani first. It’s her kid.”

So, with no further ado, Ben spun around on his barstool, sand flying off of his feet now, and picked up the phone dialing one of the few numbers he had memorized.

If only Nick and Lani knew what they were really up to.

“Ten o’clock bedtime. Get moving that way by nine thirty.”

“Sí, Mamí.” Rosalie’s chocolate eyes gazed up to Aaron’s chocolate eyes and they shared a smirk, not being missed by Lani.

“I mean it, young lady. You have school and I don’t want a fight from you in the morning.”

“We’ll get her to bed on time, Miss Romero. Have I ever let you down before?”

“No, but you’ve never had this one as your companion either.” She smacked Aaron’s arm and went to the counter to check for emergency numbers one more time. “Katy is home. Call her first since Nick’s cell is off in the movies…got it?”

“Lani…get out.” Aaron took her by the arms and guided her to the front door interrupting her with a ‘shush’ every time she opened her mouth with more directions.

“Yeah, Mamí, get out. I wanna play.”

Nick stood quietly by the door, knowing Lani would not leave without a huge fanfare. It seemed to be getting more difficult for her to leave the child, and not less like he’d hoped it would be. But, he wasn’t a parent. He hadn’t a clue. And he’d take this over the abandonment Aaron and Ben had been feeling from their mothers any day…

…even if it was exasperating him. No Rosalie in his life would be meaningless, but he sure as hell would like to try it for a good 24 hours…Lani and Nick. Only.

A man can dream.

Snapping out of said dream, Nick cleared his throat, finally getting Lani’s attention to leave the boys with Ro and get out.

“I’m sorry, baby…I just…”

“Shhh…let’s just go before Rosalie starts kicking shins.” He bent over for a kiss from his shin-kicker and held her chin in his fingers. “You. Be. Good. You’re being given a very special gift getting Aaron tonight, okay?”

“Sí, Nicky. I want him to come back.”

“Exactly.” With another kiss and look of “you be good too” to the boys, they were off.

“FINALLY! I thought they’d never leave.” Aaron scooped up Rosalie and tossed her over his shoulder carrying her into the family room. “Okay, kiddo…you’re in charge ‘til 9:30. What’re we doin’?”

Nick and Lani settled into their table in the corner of the restaurant, finally taking a moment to soak in the other’s presence. “You okay?”

“Why do I struggle with this so much, Nick?”

“I dunno, baby. If I’d be worried about anyone tonight, it’d be Ben and Aaron.”

Lani chuckled and picked up her menu, trying to play the role of secure, together mother. “This is true. She’ll definitely be in charge.”

“Not such a bad thing. They could use a pushy broad in their lives…one that doesn’t break their hearts anyway.”

Lani’s menu came down and she gently pushed Nick’s down as well, making him look up at her. “How is Aaron? Really?”

“He’s not good. Finally talked on the boat yesterday. To Ben no less.”

“Maybe he needs a peer. Someone not attached to the whole mess.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Whoda guessed they’d get on so well, huh?” Nick quickly glanced at his menu again deciding on a rack of ribs. What he always got. Consistency felt good right about now.

“You knew they would…just a matter if Ben would allow it to happen.”

“At least Aaron talked. I had no idea it was as bad as it is. I wanna throttle both of my parents.”

“What’s happening? I mean, I know the divorce…dad’s got a girlfriend already, doesn’t he?”

“Oh no…not a girlfriend, Lani. He has a fucking fiancé.”

“He’s not even…” She filtered her comment, knowing that she was preaching to the choir and judgment was hardly what anyone needed at this point. She’d made a few messes in her life as well. “…when did that happen?”

“Last month sometime? Hell, I dunno. I mean, she’s nice enough, but I think she’s your age.”

“Ew.”

“That’s Dad.” Nick sighed and slid his hand across the table taking Lani’s fingers in his. “It scares me, Lani.”

“Scares you? How?”

“I don’t want to end up like that. Don’t they say that the mistakes of your parents tend to guide you in life? I mean, Mom’s a goddamned thief and Dad’s just…well. I love him. I really do, but…”

“You can be whoever you want to be, Nick. Our parent’s stupidity guides us only if we allow it to.”

“What about Aaron? He’s so young and he looks like hell…not eating right, he’s just…don’t they see that they’re destroying him?”

“If they do, they’re so wrapped up in their own mess, they’re missing it.”

“That’s just it. I don’t want to be like that. I mean, look at every role model I’ve had in my life…they’re a mess. Every damned one of them. Mom and Dad are bad enough. Add Lou to that and I should be criminally insane by now.”

“But, honey…”

“And then, what about all this shit going on now with Darren and Neron…how am I supposed to be the kind of dad I wanna be when all I have is shit to look at for an example.”

“Woah…dad? Who’s talking about being a dad here? I just want some barbequed chicken.”

Nick stopped his rant and deflated, unaware he’d taken his feelings so far into words. He wasn’t a dad. He was just…a Nick. Some dude in a bunch of kid’s lives. Kids who had no father figure. And he frankly didn’t have one either. At least it felt that way at the moment. His eyes apologized and he picked up his menu pretending to be interested in a different choice for dinner. “Where’s the waitress?”

“You just gonna walk away from that one?”

“I’m thinkin’ maybe I’d better. I’m sorry.”

“Nick, it’s fine. You feel great responsibility for these kids and…and I couldn’t be more grateful, especially where Ro is concerned. In her heart, you are her daddy.”

“But, I’m not. Neron is.” The hatred in his voice at the man’s name was heart-stopping. And he hadn’t been seen nor heard from in months.

“No, Neron is her father. There’s a difference.”

The waitress came and relieved Nick from his snowballing feelings, giving him a chance to mentally rewind and try again. Taking her hands in his again, he took a deep breath and did just that.

“All I wanna know is…how can I be the man I want to be, when all the men I see are nothing short of disasters?”

“Just because they are bad examples, doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them.”

“That movie sucked.”

“Sucked rocks. Thanks for the hot date, baby.” Lani smacked Nick’s arm before she got in the car, blowing a kiss through the dew covered glass.

Nick got in and squeezed Lani’s thigh before starting the car. “I say we go find some quiet place and make out.”

“Sounds lovely. How ‘bout my couch?”

“I was thinking without a child in the next room.”

“Oh, you’d rather have a cop shining his flashlight at us instead?”

“It’d be a little variety anyway.” With another kiss to stress that he was kidding, he pulled out of the parking spot and headed back to Lani’s house, his hand never leaving her thigh again. His mind wondering how he could get rid of Aaron and Ben and have this woman alone. He feared there was no way to do it tonight. It was definitely time for Aaron to go home.

All the way home, Lani played with Nick’s fingers on her leg, stroking them as though she were stroking…other things. Occasionally, she’d bring his fingers up to her lips for a quick suckle, kiss, tease of a brush to her soft cheek or neck. Nick never said a word, but his shifting bottom and stifled moans were finally noticed. As they pulled into the driveway, she looked over to him and ran her tongue up his middle finger, never taking her eyes out of his. “You like that, mister?”

His answer came in the form of a growl and a passionate kiss, pulling her over from her bucket seat onto his lap as he quickly manipulated his seat back so she’d fit in front of the steering wheel. His hands tangled in her hair, hers in his seatbelt and finally found his neck and face. Tongues danced, pelvises pushed together and windows quickly fogged. Nick came up for air long enough to say two words. “Inside. Now.”

Lani’s kisses traveled from Nick’s lips to his cheeks and finally landed on his ear as her tongue ran up the lobe and she whispered the sad truth. “Ben and Aaron are inside.”

“Shit.”

“Basically.”

Nick unearthed himself from the cave of her neck and hair and cupped her face in his hands. “I thought being an adult meant you could do this whenever you wanted.”

“You wanna be a dad, Mr. Carter? Welcome to fatherhood.”

Lani sat up and opened the car door, giggling and shushing when her ass accidentally beeped the horn. “Shit…Ro. God, if I woke her.” They kissed and tickled and toyed and played all the way to the door.

Until it opened up on them leaning into it for one final passionate kiss.

“WOAH! Shit!” Nick and Lani stumbled and were pushed back onto the porch, the door closing quickly behind them as they straightened their clothes and minds. What had just happened?

“Could you two BE any noisier?” Ben peeked in the window, looking for god knew what.

“Uh, yeah…if you give us about 10 minutes, I’m hunching we could be a lot louder. Why?”

Lani reached for the door knob and Ben knocked a chair over to stop her. “NO! You…you can’t go in there.” He shimmied himself between Lani and the door and plastered on the most insincere smile of his life. “You can’t go in right now.”

“Uh, it’s my house. Why can’t I go in? What’d you two do in there?”

“Nothing! No, no, nothing. It’s not…” Ben huffed and opened the door behind his back, shouting inside. “Are you coming???”

“Yeah, yeah, keep yer pants on, dude.”

Ben closed the door again and smiled, trying to ignore the growing impatience on the faces of the two adults before him. And their disheveled appearance. Gave him the creeps. “Can’t go in. What were you guys doin’ out here anyway?” He looked at Nick’s hair, that was standing on all ends, and then to Lani’s, that was tangled and mangled and all over and decided he didn’t want an answer to that question. “Never mind. I dun wanna know.” Opening the door again, he peeked in and yelped. “Aaa-ron! Now!”

Before his final word was out, a pair of brown eyes peeked up over top of Ben’s head and yanked the door open more fully. “I’m here. God, you’re impatient.”

“I’m impatient? You’re slower than shit.”

“Would you two buffoons care to tell me why you’re not allowing me in my own home?”

“Oh, yeah.” Aaron stepped outside and handed Lani an overnight bag. “Ro kicked you out for the night. Here’s your stuff.” A cheesy grin and a step back followed. He did not want to be within swinging distance of his brother’s arm.

“Excuse me?” Lani tried to push Ben aside, but Aaron was in the way and she didn’t feel comfortable pushing him. “I’d like to go in my house, please.”

“Nope. Not tonight. You can get a hotel or go…you know…to Nick’s house or something, but Rosalie said she didn’t want you to come home tonight.”

“So, you just packed my bag…wait…what’s in here?” Lani took the bag and unzipped it, digging through lazily tossed toiletries, a shirt, a negligee, and… “You touched my underwear!?”

“Ro got that stuff.” Ben smiled nervously again, wondering why Nick was saying nothing and why he suddenly wondered if this was such a hot idea.

“Ro got that…I do not…will you just let me in to check on her, please?”

“No. You’ll stay. She’s asleep anyway, so…there’s nothing to see.” Aaron finally caught his brother’s eye and winked at him, wanting to thank him for all he’d done this week, for not pressuring him, for introducing him to Ben, and just for being his brother. Nick deserved some alone time with his lady. Even if it meant playing games to get it.

“She has school tomorrow. YOU have school tomorrow, Mr. Casey.”

“Katy’s takin’ us. We got it all worked out.”

“Katy? You bribed Katy into this?”

“No, we asked her. She said she’s been on you to – OUCH! Damn, Carter!” Ben shot a look to Aaron who had just kicked him in the calf. Catching the younger man’s eye, he remembered he wasn’t supposed to bring up that little detail. “Sorry, yeah…” He turned his attentions back to Lani opening with a cheesy grin. “So, yeah…Katy will take us to school and Aaron uh…shoot. You won’t want company.”

“I have to work in the morning.”

Nick brought his hand up to Lani’s forehead and pulled it back as though he’d just touched a hot potato. “Nope, I think you’re sick. Hot, hot, hot.”

“I’m hot, huh?”

“You have no idea.” They stayed in one another’s gaze, Lani licking her lips and dragging her teeth across her bottom lip wishing it was Nick’s tongue and teeth teasing and tormenting her.

“Alright, you two…take it home.”

Nick took Lani’s hand in his and leaned into her ear. “Just think, we could finish what we started…”

She yanked her hand away and refused to look at him again, knowing she’d cave if she did. “I’m not sure this is a good idea…what does Ro eat for breakfast?”

“Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops. Orange Juice to drink, her clothes are laid out for tomorrow and her backpack is set to go. You can pick her up from school tomorrow. I’ll uh…just stay here if that’s okay.”

As Aaron talked, Nick found Lani’s hand again and decided to do some manipulating of his own. He mocked all she’d done to his fingers on the way home, stroking the length of each one slowly, methodically and totally unseen by the teens. He could feel her melting beneath his touch and found Aaron’s eyes again, offering his own wink back. The boys had won.

“After sch-…” She sucked in air as Nick’s fingers slid up her middle finger and she could see him licking his lips out of the corner of her eye. The boys had definitely won. “After school. Tomorrow.”

“Yep.”

With one more look up into Nick’s darkening eyes and a final glance to Aaron’s pleading ones, she took the hugest step in her maternal life since taking Rosalie home from the hospital after her birth. “Alrighty then.” She bent over and picked up the bag that she’d dropped in shock moments before and took hold of Nick’s hand as she turned. “See you tomorrow, boys.”

Nick couldn’t believe it and stopped at the bottom step to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. “Are you sure?”

“Yep. They want her tonight and tomorrow morning? They can have her.”

“And what do you want, my dear?”

“You. I want only you.”

Nick slid into the truck and looked over to Lani’s figure in the dark vehicle, visible only because of the porch light shining from the front of her home. As she turned to meet his eyes, she grabbed his hand and held on tight. “Go now before I change my mind.”

“We don’t have to do this, you know.”

“Yes. Yes, we do. I do. She’s in good hands tonight.” She nodded her head once to firm up her decision and kissed the tips of Nick’s fingers. “But start the truck before I talk myself out of it.”

He brushed her cheek with his knuckles and fumbled for the keys, trying keep his horniness at bay because he knew full well she’d be so worried about Rosalie that the romantic options of the night may very well go right out the window. He hoped otherwise, of course, but the last thing he needed to do was be a selfish ass.

They said little on the drive to his home, but never stopped touching each other in some fashion. A hand to a thigh, hand on hand, lips on fingers…something. Nick was amazed at the number of people who had already begun their Christmas decorations and they slowed to take a few of the more elaborate displays in.

Finally, he was pulling into his garage and the comfort of the previous moments slid away as his garage door lowered and enclosed them in darkness.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Nick. I’m sure.” She squeezed his hand and let go, grabbing her hastily packed overnight bag and got out of the truck, grateful for the little bit of light illuminating from the car. She slammed the door shut and turned to go in, slamming square into a large, soft yet firm surface.

Nick.

“Hello.”

“Hello. It’s dark in here…where’s your light?”

“Burnt out. I keep forgetting.” His hands slid up her arms and she dropped the bag onto the floor, landing firmly on her toes – which she might have noticed if he hadn’t bent down to her neck and started licking his way up and down her pulse point. To her earlobe, back down her neck, over her jaw line and finally landing softly, securely, warmly on her lips.

“Mmm…you’re so warm.” She kissed him again, gently sucking his bottom lip into her mouth and cupping his neck into her hand. “And soft.”

His hands tangled in her hair as he kissed her again, pushing her up against the truck, making a clear message that not all of him was soft. But she was. And he wanted to feel every soft, supple, smooth, creamy surface of her.

Now.

He pushed himself into her, lifting her off the floor of the garage as she instinctively wrapped her legs around him, wanting her clothes to vanish, his lips to clone themselves so they could be everywhere at once, a soft surface to suddenly erupt so they could lay down and do this right. She finally broke free from his mouth, moaning as his kisses trailed down her neck and she tried to find her voice.

“Nick…”

“Mmm?”

“Inside. Take me inside.”

He pushed against her again, his hand sliding between them and cupping her breast. “Mmm…inside.” He nipped at her neck and she almost cracked her head on the window as she threw her head back wanting to move, never wanting to stop, not knowing what to do next to make both possible. She wriggled her hips and gently pushed him away, kissing his nose as her feet landed back onto the floor.

“Yes, inside…come on.” She grabbed his hand and picked up her bag, dragging him behind her, squealing as he pinched her ass, pulled her hair and brought her neck back to his mouth. “Inside, inside, inside…”

“Inside…I wanna be inside.”

Somehow they made it to the steps, stumbling up, kissing, giggling, fumbling for the knob and finally, miracle above all miracles, got into the house. Her overnight bag was tossed to the side as she tried to lead this kissing, grabbing horny mess further into the house so they could at least find floor space. Couch space. Bed space. Something.

He grabbed her and turned her to face him, tired of chasing. Wanting her. Now. Anywhere. Inside.

Clothes flew, limbs tangled and after they fell to the floor in his living room, bodies united. No time for sensual foreplay. No desire for it.

Inside.

Now.

Warm. Moist. Inside.

Outside their hands traveled everywhere. All at once. Lips caressing any nip of skin they could reach. Her hands finally settling on his ass, pulling him in further and closer, melding their bodies into one hot, seething ball of passion. The end came quickly, both calling out non-descript noises of pleasure and release, letting everything go in the moment of their virginal solitude.

Silence followed as Nick slid off of Lani’s sweaty body, only the sound of shifting limbs on the thick carpeting, the occasional kiss offering more expressions of love than any word ever could. He curled around her, kissing her shoulder, gently rubbing her bare tummy twirling his finger around her navel. Finally, her giggle broke their post-coital bliss.

“This carpet’s itchy.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

“Mmm…give it a few. I feel like my butt’s gonna scratch right off.”

“We can’t have that. I like your butt.”

They laid there for a long time, itchy butts and all, listening to one another breathe, matching in rhythm, heart and soul. They were finally alone. And they had all night.

“Know what I’ve always wanted to do here?”

“What’s that?”

“Put that Jacuzzi to good use.”

In a flash, Nick was up on his knees, pulling her up with him. “Oh yeah…it’s sick of just seein’ my naked ass.”

“I can’t imagine…” she stood and pinched his bottom, smacking it as he tried to run away. “Who’d get sick of that booty now, huh?”

Lani couldn’t keep her hands off of Nick as he prepared the water’s temperature, set out towels, laid out a clean bathmat and just generally prepared a comfortable place for their time. He was finally satisfied on the set up and pulled her hand off of his butt and kissed her fingers. “You get in…I’ll get us something to drink.”

“Don’t be gone long.”

“Don’t worry.” He helped her in and spent a few moments just taking her in, watching the tips of her hair splay and float as they dampened and the lines of her naked body blur as they sunk further into the bubbling water. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She settled completely in and rested her head against the back adjusting her body so the jets of water would hit her legs, arms and feet right where she wanted them to hit. She thought she’d died and gone to heaven.

Nick made quick work in the kitchen, anxious to get back to her, to enjoy every moment alone they had. He knew that if this was the woman he planned on being with that these times - times of pure solitude - would be few and far between. He shoved their earlier tossed clothes into her overnight bag, grabbed it and their glasses and headed back to his bathing beauty.

“You awake?”

“Mmm-hmmm…barely. How do you ever get out of this once you’re in it?”

“I know I’ll see you. Makes it easier.” He handed her the drinks and stepped into the tub, settling in next to her grateful to be finally enjoying this with her.

“Brown noser.”

“That’s me. Wanna stay on your good side.”

They wordlessly toasted and sipped, Lani sliding deeper into the water as the warm alcohol trickled down her throat. “You let me have full access to this tub and you’ll always be on my good side.”

“Deal.”

No more words. Words were wasted energy anyway. She curled up to him, engulfing one of his legs inside both of hers as she slid them up and down like a cricket singing for his mate. His drink was emptied and they laid together enjoying the warmth of the water, the warmth of each others bodies, the fact that there were no expectations on them other than being together. Nothing weighed on them for now. Nothing mattered outside of this room.

Her hand slid up his abdomen to a nipple, flipping the ring with her nail. He smiled down at her and shifted to one cheek. “Lay back.”

Now that the initial animalistic passions had been released, they could take time. And this time, it was all for Lani. He grabbed one of the towels and rolled it, lifting her head and resting it in the crook of her neck. “That okay?”

“Mmm…yeah, nice.” She wiggled a bit to settle in, not sure what he was up to and truly not caring. She knew it’d be good. She closed her eyes and moaned as his lips pressed into hers, his hand slipped beneath the surface of the water to find the fullness of her breast. As his thumb brushed the bud of her nipple, she brought a wet hand up and ran it through his hair, dampening it, causing goose bumps to cover his neck and back.

He pulled back from the kiss and took her hand, placing it back into the water. “Just you now.”

Who was she to argue? And as he lifted the breast he’d been gently kneading out of the water and began to suck upon the nipple, she completely succumbed to his pleasures. Just her.

Nick let go of her breast and slid his hand down her stomach, back into the water and down her hip to her thigh, as far as his arm would reach, he’d massage and caress, up her thigh and back down, up and down the next, still licking and nipping at her breast, chest and neck, the soft wisps of his hair tickling her face as he dipped down to take her in.

Finally, when she thought she was about to jump out of the water out of frustrated pleasure, his hand slipped between her legs, cupping her mound at first and then slowly, methodically dipping into the warm, wet slit, finding her swollen folds and bud as though they had been begging for his arrival.

And they had. She spread her legs for him, totally resigning herself to receive anything he was offering her. As a finger sunk into her, she moaned and squeezed, pulling it in deeper, wanting to feel more of him. Everywhere. Inside. Outside. All over.

Two fingers slipped into her and she arched her back, opening up more for him, groaning deep in her throat when his thumb found the bud that ached for some attention. “Yess…”

With the same slow pace as he’d begun, he pumped his fingers in and out of her curling them ever so slightly to find that spongey spot that would make her want to scream in pleasure. He rubbed her clitoris with his thumb and held onto her back, twirling tendrils of wet hair in his fingers. Her breasts would rise and sink into the water as her body moved to his touch, water dripping from them as she rose and engulfing them as she sunk. She was satisfying herself as much as he was, totally present in the moment, absent in all else.

Her breathing became erratic and he held onto her tightly as she rose from the water again, wanting to taste the sweetness of her breasts once again, pushing her closer and closer to her breaking point. As his tongue swirled around the swollen nipple, she hissed, groaned, buckled and finally shattered around him, her inner muscles squeezing his fingers, her moisture mixing and thinning in the water and her hand, finally able to move again, finding his hair and pulling him in to make love with him with her mouth and tongue, not knowing any words to express how she felt. How he made her feel. How much she loved this man, not only because of his touch, but because of his heart with which he offered it.

She tried to turn, to return the favor, to show him her appreciation but he stopped her. With a kiss to her lips and then her forehead, he shook his head. “No…just rest.”

“But, what about yo-…”

“Shh…later. Just you now, baby. Just you.”

Her body grew limp in the water and she rested in the crook of his arm, satisfied, content, happy beyond measure. His turn would come.

After all, their night had just begun.

“We’re going to prune.”

“Water’s kinda cold, too…I don’t want to move.” Lani settled into the water more and the comfort of warm bubbling water didn’t satisfy like it had. “Yep. Time to get out. This is gross.”

Nick untangled himself from her and hiked himself out of the tub foregoing his own towel to hold one up for her. “Come on. Wrap up.”

She curled into the terry cloth and his arms, resting her head on his chest but for a moment. “You get a towel too. It’s cold out here.”

They dried and flirted, Nick running fingers through his hair and Lani running a brush through hers, catching Nick’s reflection in the mirror as he stared. “What?”

“You’re beautiful.”

She smiled and blew a kiss to the image in the mirror, wanting nothing more than to shed the towel around her body so she could jump this man. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He took care of her wish, running a finger along the top edge of the towel at her back, loosening it’s hold under her arm. It fell to the floor with a soft plop, quickly followed by his. He kicked them to the side as he took the brush from her hand and slowly ran it through her thick, long mane one more time, giving her a gentle massage as he went. She caught his eyes in the mirror again and quietly walked away, knowing he’d follow.

The bed was unmade and welcoming with piles of pillows and blankets strewn about, bidding them to come and wrestle and play. She crawled up in it and turned to crawl backwards, inviting Nick to join her with the gaze in her eye. He stood at the edge, erect and gorgeous, holding his hands out for her to come and press her skin against his. She folded into his arms, taking hold of his erection as she did, finally fulfilling the teasing she’d done in the car.

With a groan, she stopped, kissed his neck and apologized. “I need to use the restroom. Lie down.”

Nick chuckled, entertained by the timing of the human body at times, but did as asked.

“Now, just uh…entertain yourself ‘til I get back, okay?”

He raised an eyebrow at her as he settled back against the pillows and slowly slid his hand down his stomach, stopping just short of the curly hair where her eyes rested.

“Go on…I’ll only be a minute.”

And she was, stepping out of the darkened bathroom into the lighter bedroom and stopping as her eyes focused on the man before her. On his long fingers as they wrapped around his penis, slowly moving up and down its length, occasionally grabbing drops of the thick fluid that had beaded on the tip and using it to smooth his stroke. His eyes were closed and she wasn’t sure he was even aware that she was watching him. She didn’t want him to be aware.

Not yet.

She quietly stepped closer, watching his hips rise ever so slightly off the bed to match the movement of his hand. Focusing on his face, showing nothing but relaxation and pleasure, his lips slightly parted, breath escaping with each downward stroke of his hand. He thought she was beautiful? He had no idea. She felt his movements on himself somehow reach out and touch the buds of her nipples and swell the folds of her insides.

He finally felt her presence and turned to look at her, not stopping his slow, yet…now that she was closer to him, she could see…forceful work on himself. He smiled and she climbed onto the bed, straddling his legs, staying down on his thighs so he’d not stop. She reached out and wiped another bead off of his tip and brought it to her breast, spreading it around the nipple, the full of her breast and finally sliding her hand down her stomach to her own pleasure zone.

Nick let out an incoherent moan of pleasure as her fingers disappeared into the curls between her legs, a sensual slosh of sound making this all more erotic than he could handle. Her eyes closed at her own touch and they both allowed themselves the self pleasure and mutual satisfaction. He’d close his eyes to focus on his own feelings but then hear a sound escape from her mouth and open again, only to be more turned on by the sight before him. Finally, he could take no more and wanted to totally share in her pleasure, in his…in each other.

“Come here, baby…”

Her eyes peeled open as she slightly shuttered and inched forward, stroking him with her fingers, now damp with her own juices. She lifted up and slowly impaled herself on him, moaning at the fullness, the union, the utter completeness she felt. He took her hand, the hand that had been where he was now and brought it to his mouth, sucking in each finger, licking them clean, and finally interlocking his fingers with hers as he brought his hands over his head, wanting to feel her entire body against his.

They moved slowly, quietly, not uttering more than the slightest of sounds, letting the music of their bodies and the slight creaking of the bed be their song. She decorated his neck with kisses and nibbles, sucking his earlobe into her mouth and out, wanting to somehow taste every inch of him. Feel every inch of him. Love every inch of him.

At just that thought, she felt herself tense and come closer to her climax. One of many more, she hoped. She sat up and rolled her hips, totally involved in herself at the moment, giving Nick more joy than had she been focused on him. With another roll of her hips, she sucked in air, tensed, muscles pulsing all around him and finally fell back against him wanting more and more and more.

They played with her breasts, they played with his breasts, he sucked on her neck, she sucked on his. Their bodies in constant motion, their legs in constant work out. After more and more pleasure washed over her and more and more excitement coursed through Nick’s veins, she lowered herself to his ear again, suddenly finding a voice from within to speak.

“Roll me over and fuck me…”

“Oh shit, Lani…”

Without another thought or moment to reconsider, they were wrapped tightly around each other, making full use of the large bed and as her hair trapped beneath her back, she looked up and saw the most amazingly beautiful man she’d ever seen in her life. His too-long hair hung in front of his shimmering blue eyes and a slight film of sweat covered his brow. With a quick jerk of his head, he moved the hair aside and pushed his gaze into her as he pushed himself into her.

“This what you want?”

“More.”

Another strong push and another, faster and faster, harder and harder, her legs spreading fully for him to get as deep as physically possible, his hand cupping underneath to pull her even closer, repetitive words of ‘more’, ‘faster’, ‘harder’, uttered in breaths of passion and finally, without much warning, without any regret, he pushed one more time, allowing a scream of pleasure course through the room, matched only by the scream of hers.

From silence to carnal gratification, their sounds echoed through the house, through the room, through their bodies. Back to silence as he kissed his way down into her arms, groaning as their bodies separated and they lay sated and fulfilled.

Once her breath somewhat settled back to normal, she spoke, giggling at her own silly thoughts. “You know…I have an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“I think Ben’s ready to be a daddy. You and I can just stay here and he can raise her. What say?”

Nick rolled over, curling up to her warm body and resting his head on her chest. “Yeah, I think that sounds good…he’d make a good daddy for that little squirt.”

Sleep finally engulfed them, the sweetest sleep either of them had ever experienced. If one would stir slightly, they’d curl back up to the naked warm body beside them, moaning in their grogginess at the contact and drift back. When morning came, their bodies naturally moved in rhythm before words were spoken, before eyes locked, before the list of ‘to do’s’ and ‘have to’s’ ruled their day.

Lani had to go in to work for a few hours anyway. Nick had to get his brother to the airport. It was a difficult parting, Nick knowing that the last thing Aaron wanted to do was get back to the mess that awaited him. But, he had to. For now. And he could go back rested and fully knowing that he had a place to run if he needed. He’d be back for part of the Christmas holiday. He hoped.

And even though the weather said otherwise, Christmas started immediately in Florida too. The weekend following Thanksgiving brought Nick and Lani outside, decorating her house, hanging lights in palm trees, on the porch, twisting and turning in strings of them to decorate the artificial tree, making hot cocoa, even if they were dressed in shorts. Christmas is Christmas, no matter where you are.

One of the strings had fallen out of her leaning palm tree in the back yard and Lani went out to investigate, leaving Nick to answer the ringing doorbell. The always loyal man in brown greeted him. “Looks like little Ro got an early present.”

“Ah…good. Do I need to sign?”

“Nope. Happy Holidays!”

Nick closed the door and checked out the box, not seeing any return address on it. “Hey, Ro…come here, Muñe.”

“What is it, Nicky?”

“You got a package…let’s grab a knife and head outside with Mamí to open it, huh?”

“Who’s it from?”

“I dunno. There’s no return on it. Maybe Abuela?”

“I got hers already. Maybe she forgot something.”

Nick slid the patio door open and let his little doll baby out first, lifting the box in explanation to Lani who jumped as she heard the door slam closed. “UPS just showed up. Did your Mom forget something for Ro?”

“She better not have…sent enough as it is.” Lani plugged the lights back in and motioned for Nick to flip the porch light on to check her connection.

“Yay, Mamí! You fixed it!”

“You rule.” Nick kissed her as she approached, never ever feeling like he could get enough. “Should she open this now or wait?”

“I don’t know what it is…go ahead now. Abuela keeps everything wrapped so it doesn’t spoil any surprises.”

“Yeah, Mamí won’t let me open her stuff yet. It’s just under the tree driving me loco.”

“It’s a short drive; you’re already loco.”

“Cut the tape, Nicky. You’re a stinker.”

He settled into a chaise and patted the end for Rosalie to join him as he slit the sealed package open. “Did you order something?”

“I wouldn’t have put it in Ro’s name…”

Rosalie ripped the box from Nick’s hand, excited even though it wasn’t the biggest box she’d seen. It looked big enough to hold a doll. Or maybe some books. Maybe some pieces for her castle. Or, some stuffed lovey animals. Just the right size for a perfect 3-weeks-before-Christmas-gift. She pulled the tissue out, tossing it everywhere and stopped cold when her hands finally hit something solid. “Ooh…there’s something in here.”

“Well, I should hope so!” Nick chuckled and soaked in her childish excitement wanting to enjoy this Christmas more than any he had up until now. He was staying here. This was his family now and if any of his blood family wanted to see him, they knew where to find him.

At home.

Unbeknownst to Rosalie, but very noticed by Nick, Lani swiped an envelope out of the tissue rubble and held it until Rosalie could enjoy her gift first. She wouldn’t have cared who it was from now anyway.

“What’s in there, Muñe? You just gonna keep us wonderin’?”

She pulled out a small item, wrapped in more paper. “There’s a lot of these…” She put it on the table and pulled out a number of wrapped objects, all almost the same size as the first. “They feel like statues. See, Nicky?” She handed Nick one and picked another with a bit of pink peeking from the tissue, choosing to open it first. “Ooooh…is that Mary, Mamí?”

Lani put the envelope on the bench out of Rosalie’s reach so it wouldn’t get lost in the shuffle. “Yep, looks like it…is Joseph in there?”

Rosalie started quickly opening the statues naming them as she could, looking to Nick for guidance when she wasn’t so sure. She knew the Christmas story, but only a little. Church wasn’t somewhere they frequented, even during the holidays. “Who’s this one, Nicky?”

“Looks like a shepherd. He’s got a staff to help lead his flocks.”

“Oooh, sheep!!!!”

She opened them all but one, finally finding Joseph, the three kings, camels, sheep, a couple of cows, some more shepherds and she squealed knowing who the last one had to be. “Es niño Jesús!” She kissed the small doll and put him into the resin bed made to look like a feeder filled with hay. “It’s so pretty, Mamí! Can we put it in my room?”

“Yeah…we’ll put it under your tree, okay?”

Rosalie took baby Jesus and left the rest, disappearing into the house.

And Lani collapsed onto the picnic bench, color draining from her face.

“Lani?”

She said nothing, but handed him the envelope. “Read it.”

He took it from her, totally confused. “How’d you read it already?”

“I didn’t…but I can’t. I might throw up.”

Nick’s heart sank, knowing there was only one person who could send Rosalie something that would make Lani freak out like this. “Oh shit.” He sighed and slipped his finger under the flap, stopping before he pulled the card out. “You sure you want me to read this? Maybe we should just toss it and keep it a mystery to her.”

“She needs to thank him…” Her eyes closed at her words, swallowing the bile that threatened to rise. “I can’t allow her to hate him.”

Nick didn’t understand, but finally pulled the card from the envelope, sighing at the sweet picture on the front. “Cute card…it’s Nemo in a Santa hat.”

She smirked in spite of herself, rolling her eyes at the audacity of it all. Although most kids liked Nemo, Rosalie and Nick loved it, going off on Crush and Squirt imitations ad nauseum. Somehow now…that even felt defiled. “What’s it say inside?”

Nick took a deep breath and quickly read the pre-printed message filled with ‘dude’, ‘righteous’, and ‘awesome’. And then, he read the hand written portion.

Rosalinda,

Love this nativity like I did as a little boy. We’d start the holiday season with only the animals and the empty manger. Every day, my brothers and I would add one of the characters to the scene, ending with baby Jesus on Christmas night.

I know you don’t know me yet, but maybe we can work something out with Mamí to change that. I know it’d be the best Christmas for me if we could. If not, have a very Merry Christmas!

Nick didn’t look up to Lani as he read, feeling her tension and strain from across the table. But, he’d gone this far, so he figured he might as well finish the whole thing. Taking a deep breath, he finally looked up to her, sadness filling his eyes. “It’s signed ‘Su Papí, Neron’.”

“Su papí? Su papí!? That fucking son of a bitch! How dare he do this to her? To me? To us? What the fuck is he trying to prove, huh?”

“I have no idea, baby…are you going to tell her?”

She was too upset to think, to answer, to even consider doing anything short of murder. “I have…I don’t…I can’t even…”

“Are you guys coming? I want to put up Baby Jesús and his friends…” Rosalie stopped cold when she saw the tears streaming down her mother’s face. “Mamí? What’s wrong? Why are you sad?”

The last thing Lani wanted was to cry more tears because of Neron, especially in front of her daughter. So, the only solution she had was to leave. The tears weren’t going to stop. She shook her head in apology and ran out of the fenced yard, leaving Nick and Ro on the patio wondering what to do next.

“Nick? What’s wrong with Mamí?” Rosalie tried to be strong and not cry, but she wasn’t doing well. Mamí never ran out like that. And she rarely cried.

“She, um…just heard from someone she hasn’t heard from in awhile.”

Rosalie didn’t believe him, but was smart enough to tell that she wasn’t going to get any more information out of him either. “Can we take my new dolls to my room, Nicky?”

“Yeah, Muñe. Let’s do that. And I have a great idea on how to help you count down ‘til Jesus’ birthday…”

Rosalie faithfully placed a new character into her nativity scene every night at bedtime. She never asked who had sent it to her. She never asked what had upset Mamí so much the night she’d received it. She was just happy she had this pretty set and could count down the days until Christmas by how many statues she had left to put up. Besides, Mamí didn’t cry about it anymore, so maybe it wasn’t so important after all.

And now, she was down to one. Christmas Eve. Aaron had come over for dinner and Mamí had made a huge spread of mostly traditional Boricano dishes. It was just going to be Mamí and Ro in the morning and then Nick and Aaron would come back to share in presents and the rest of the day. Aaron took off for Nick’s house, enjoying his brand new driver’s license and letting the three of them have some family time alone. And now, it was bedtime. Bedtime on the most impossible night of the year to even begin thinking about sleep.

“What numbers do I have to wait for on my clock, Mamí?”

“Before you come bouncing on me? Oh, I don’t know…I’m thinking 10.”

“TEN!? Mamí, it’s on the 10 now! I can’t wait that long!”

“You can’t? Oh, well…let’s see. Nick, what do you think? How late should I make her wait to see what Santa brought her?”

“Mmm…we always had trouble waiting until 7. I still suck at sleeping on Christmas Eve.”

“I like 7 better, Mamí.”

“You do, huh? Well, I suppose 7 is fine. Not one minute before, you understand, young lady?”

“Si, Mamí. The first number on the clock says ‘7’, not ‘6’. I’ll wait.”

She bounded into her bed and under her covers, reaching over her head for a book resting between her mattress and her headboard. “Katy found this and said to read it tonight. You read it, Nicky?”

He snuggled in next to her and cracked the book open, sniffing in its musty smell. “Mmm…it’s an old one.”

“Yeah, Katy said it was hers as a little girl. It’s the Christmas story!”

And so it was. And so Nick read. And Rosalie got up numerous times to grab certain characters from her nativity to hold or kiss or put in a better spot. Then she’s snuggle back in, only to get up a few pages later. She was exhausting Nick and Lani just from her energy alone. When Nick finished the book, he had to retrieve her from her nativity and carry her to bed. “Are you going to sleep at all tonight, sweetie?”

“I don’t know. I’m bouncy, huh?”

“Just a little.” He kissed her cheek and she pointed to her forehead. He kissed her forehead and she pointed to her nose. A peck on the nose and she pointed to her chin, sticking it out so he could reach it better. Finally, she pointed to her lips and puckered, pulling him in for a full hug when he was done kissing everything she wanted kissed.

“Te amo, Nicky. Feliz Navidad.”

“Te amo, Muñe. Duérmase.”

“I’ll try…’night, Mamí. Te amo!”

“Te amo, Rosalinda. Feliz Navidad.”

Nick and Lani left, Nick closing the door softly and abruptly opening it again checking to see if she’d already gotten back up again.

“I’m sleeping, Nicky…go away now.”

She snuggled into her pillows as she heard him giggle behind the door, knowing that no matter what Santa brought, he couldn’t bring anything better than what she already had.

Although, a Dora the Explorer tape recorder and microphone would be nice.

Nick and Lani quickly nestled into the couch, surfing channels to find a good movie to watch, to ignore, to backdrop a full fledged make out session. No love making tonight, as both were too concerned with one certain 4 yr. old who would probably be up numerous times making intimacy a virtual joke. But they could love and cuddle and appreciate their quiet time now, knowing that it would be nothing but loud and noisy tomorrow.

They settled on It’s a Wonderful Life and didn’t get much past George meeting Clarence before they heard scuffling in the hall.

“Is she up already?”

“Shh…let her be. Maybe she just has to pee.”

They heard the toilet flush and fought the urge to go help tuck her in again. The more jostling her awake, the longer it’d take her to settle back in. As they waited for the familiar creak of her bed and didn’t hear it, Lani lifted her head from Nick’s chest and silently questioned the…well, the silence. “What’s she doing?”

“You’re asking me?”

“No, I’m asking the elves.”

“Stay put. I’ll go check, smart ass.”

Lani didn’t argue, not wanting to move anyway, but lifting up enough so Nick could get out from under her and she could smack back down onto the couch, willing sleep from totally taking over her body.

Thinking maybe they’d just missed the sound of Rosalie’s bed, Nick slowly turned the knob to her door and peeked in, silently gasping at the sounds and sight before him. He left the door cracked and scurried down the hall to collect Lani. “Come here…”

“What?”

“Come…listen…”

He recognized the tune out of Rosalie’s mouth as Silent Night. But the words were unfamiliar to him…at least in this setting. The little girl was standing in front of her nativity, rocking the small doll of baby Jesus singing her heart out in her native tongue.

Noche de paz
Noche de amor
Todo duerme en derredor
Desde los astros
Que esparcen su luz
Bella ‘lumbrando
Al niñito Jesús
Brilla la estrella de paz
Brilla la estrella de paz

For such a young child, her tone was lovely, taking both Nick and Lani’s breath away, bringing tears to their eyes. Rosalie kissed the baby Jesus one more time and gently laid him in his manger, patting him with her finger and speaking softly to Him.

“Feliz Cumpleaños, Niño Jesús. Feliz Navidad.” She sighed a burdened sigh and Nick and Lani quickly closed the door, not wanting her to know she had an audience. They heard the familiar creak of her bed now and her soft voice as she sang herself to sleep, giving them comfort amidst all the tension that the nativity had brought to their hearts.

And a little child will lead them.

Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.

“Oooh…these are almost done, Ro. You have the kisses ready?” Lani breathed in deeply, loving the smell of fresh baked cookies on Christmas day. The days before made more sense, but she always liked to save at least one batch for the day of.

Rosalie quickly popped an unwrapped Hershey’s kiss in her mouth and tried talking around it. “Shí, Mamí. 48 kishes.” She slyly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand to keep the chocolate dribbles to a minimum.

“How many did you eat?”

“Three. But I opened three more. 48 kisses.”

Lani leaned over the counter to Rosalie’s well counted bowl and grabbed a kiss, biting off the tip and letting it melt in her mouth. “47. Better open another one.”

“Mamí…” Rosalie huffed and swallowed the melted chocolate down, licking one last drop off of her lips. “When are Nick and Aaron getting here?”

Right on cue the doorbell rang in full unison with the oven timer. “I’ll take the oven, you take the door.”

Rosalie hopped off the stool wondering why Nick would ring the bell. Then, the fullness of Christmas day hit her. “Oooh! Maybe his arms are full of presents and he needs help!” Her skip cranked up to a gallop and she flung the door open. “Feliz Navidad, Nick-…”

But it wasn’t Nick at the door. This man was shorter. And darker. And…he looked sort of familiar. With nerves taking over her body as memories of this man came creeping in, she slipped into lazy, accent-filled speech. “You not Nick.”

“No, but you’re Rosalie, aren’t you?”

“Sí…” When the man bent down to shake her hand, Rosalie stepped back. “I don’t know you.”

The man’s eyes pained at her retreat, but he stood back up and looked into the house. “Is Mamí at home?”

“She…she in the kitchen. You, um…” Rosalie took a few steps back and shook her finger at the man, scolding him for something that had not been done, but she felt like he was in need of a good scolding anyway. “You stay out here.”

“Okay.” He chuckled as the door closed in front of him.

Rosalie, however, was not laughing. “Mamí. It was not Nick.”

Lani pointed to the bowl of kisses, directing Rosalie to start putting them into the centers of the cookies she’d just pulled out of the oven. “These aren’t gonna stick if we wait any longer. Start kissing.”

Rosalie blindly obeyed, but only got two candies in two cookies before she stopped. “Mamí. Nick’s not here.”

Lani barely looked up from her work, missing the tension and fear blatantly written all over her daughter’s face. “No, I guess he’s not. Who was at the door?”

Rosalie shrugged and went back to the kisses. “He asked for you.”

“Well, you silly…finish these up and don’t forget to unwrap another one.” Lani untied her apron and hung it from a cabinet’s doorknob. “Why didn’t you tell me? Leaving him stand outside. Honestly, Ro.”

“He’s a stranger.”

Lani had so many lists running through her mind of things to do, things she’d already gotten done and couldn’t let go of yet and things that she knew she was forgetting but couldn’t quite put her finger on, that none of this was coming together for her. Rosalie’s obvious tension. The oddity of a stranger showing up on their door stoop on Christmas afternoon. “Well, it’s Christmas, Ro. No one’s a stranger on…” She opened the door and slammed it closed again. “Ay, mierda.”

“I think he’s the man from the park, Mamí.”

Lani’s hand hadn’t left the doorknob as she leaned back against the wood, bumping her head against it and closing her eyes as 10 million scenarios ran through her mind. “I think you might be right.”

“Why he here?” A soft knock lifted Lani off of the door and made Rosalie run to her mother’s side. “He was nice to me at the park. Maybe he’s a nice man.”

Lani’s hand ran through her daughter’s curls, not wanting to deal with this today. Ever, really, but why today? Why did he feel the need to do this today? She wanted to kill him.

“Lani…please open the door.”

“Mamí. Maybe you should let him in?”

Solana mindlessly nodded and turned the knob, plastering a pleasant smile to hide the anger, fear and disbelief that this was actually happening. The only comfort she had was that Nick and Aaron should be moments away. Although, as she saw the victorious smile spread across Neron’s face when she opened the door, she wondered if having all of them in the same house was such a good idea.

“Neron.”

Neron took a tentative step forward and reached out for Lani’s hand, stepping back as she quickly retreated. “Lani…it’s been too long.”

Flames of fury flew out of her eyes, masked by a pleasant smile only for her daughter’s benefit. “Why today, Neron?”

“Hi, Neron! Come have some cookies. We’re making peanut blossoms!” Rosalie pushed in between her mother and the man, and seeing that they knew each other, completely welcomed him into their home.

Neron stumbled by Lani, apologizing with a grimace, not sure whose lead to follow. Lani’s or - he stopped and looked at the little girl, dark brown curls, shimmering brown eyes, a turned up nose that looked just like his as a boy and a glow of stubbornness that was going to be passed down regardless – or his daughter’s. “I don’t know what peanut blossoms are.”

“They’re Nicky’s favorite. Peanut butter cookies and you press kisses into them when they’re hot.” She pulled out a stool for him, ignoring the fact that her mother was still standing in the foyer with her mouth hanging open and her guard completely up. “You can’t eat them yet. They’re still hot.” She grabbed at another tin from the counter and struggled to get it open.

Neron took it from her and popped off the lid. “Ooh…cut-outs. Those are my favorites.”

“Have one. Here…” She dug into the colorful cookies and found one shaped like Santa Claus sloppily, yet lovingly covered in red glaze. “I iced this one.”

He took the cookie and bit into it, oohing and aahing with great dramatic flair at the artistic icing job, the delicious taste and then, as Lani slowly walked into the kitchen wondering how traumatized her daughter would be if she witnessed her mother bashing a cast iron skillet over this man’s head, he offered his daughter his final bite of cookie.

Which she took with a huge grin.

In a matter of two minutes, he had her in his grip.

And Lani felt like her world was swirling out of control. Out of reach. Out of any sense of reality that she’d worked so hard to keep it in. Two minutes and the son of a bitch came and stripped it all away.

“Mamí.”

Lani grabbed her apron from the knob and shoved the strap over her head, angrily tying it around her waist. He couldn’t do this to them. To her. To…he just couldn’t.

“Mamí!”

She fumbled with the ties, unable to get them to cooperate, unable to sort her mind out enough to do this most simple of tasks. Unable to speak, to focus, to reason.

To hear.

“MAMÍ!! The cookies are going to burn!”

Rosalie smacked the tin lid onto the counter, jolting Lani out of her nightmare. “Oh! Oh! Lo siento, Rosalie.” She continued mumbling as she turned off the oven timer and shoved her hands into her mitt, pulling out another perfectly baked pan of cookies. “We need kisses on these.”

Rosalie slid the bowl of kisses over to her new friend and showed him how to add them. “Push soft so they don’t split, okay, Neron?”

“Like this?”

A ruckus at the front door, gave Lani a brief reprieve from the whirlwind of hell going on in front of her. She twirled around from putting another batch into the oven to see her heaven walk through the door.

“Nick! De gracias a Dios!” Lani almost ran to the door, yanking the bags of gifts from his hands and wrapping her arms around her peace. Her comfort. Her home.

His arms slid around her waist and he instantly nuzzled in her neck, not sure why she was greeting him so demonstratively, but he surely was not complaining. “Merry Christmas, baby…” He pulled back and looked in her eyes, and saw them swelled with fear. “What’s up?”

“Nicky! We’re making your favorite! Come see!”

Nick looked up from Lani’s eyes and couldn’t believe the sight before him. With another look down to Lani and a glance back at his brother, who was completely, graciously clueless, he found a smile to offer to his Muñe. Now to find a voice. “Pea…peanut blossoms? You making peanut blossoms?”

“Yup. They’re still hot, but Neron is helping me kiss them.” She stuck one more kiss in one more cookie and one more kiss into her mouth, mumbling around the quickly melting chocolate. “Want a kish?”

“From you, any time.” He pressed his lips to Lani’s forehead and went to the kitchen, shooting a sideways glance to the unwelcome guest and leaning in front of him for a kiss from Ro. The lip to lip variety first. “You taste like chocolate.”

She plugged a chocolate kiss into his mouth and giggled. “Now you will too. Come on, Aaron…come see our cookies!”

“You-…you’d better open some more kisses, Missy. You’ll run out next batch.” Lani grabbed Aaron’s arm for support and allowed him to drag her towards the kitchen. “Don’t ask, just smile.”

“You okay?”

“I said, don’t ask…later. I’ll explain later. Just hold me up.”

“Got it.”

“Can I show Neron what Santa brought me?”

Nick took over for Aaron, hanging onto Lani tighter than he normally would. Was he afraid Neron would zap her away with the strength of his evil powers? Did he have power over Lani? Over Rosalie? Was Nick losing his? Why did he feel so desperately weak all of a sudden? Like Superman and Kryptonite. Nick and Neron.

“Mamí?”

Lani grabbed at the bag of kisses and opened a few, plopping them into the bowl and another one into her mouth, never answering her daughter, never looking up at the guest, wanting the proverbial ‘rewind’ button to appear out of nowhere so she could get this bastard out of her house.

Nick leaned into her ear, his warm breath not even having the typical effect on her it usually did. “Lani…”

“Mmm?”

He stood between the disaster and his love, hopefully blocking his words and her shock from her daughter’s notice. “Ro’s talkin’ to you, hon…don’t let him do this to you.”

“Why is he here, Nick?”

“No idea, but right now…”

“Right. Ro.” She rested her head on his chest and uttered one final, heart-felt sentiment. “El cabrón.”

“Shh…she’s going to hear you.”

“Mamí, why you not answer me?”

Lani peeked around Nick, grateful for his size…to hide her, to protect her, shield her from the ugliness on the other side of him. Now to get Rosalie back over to the correct side and all would be well again. “Lo siento, Rosalie. Yes, just for a few minutes. We’re going to have family time soon.” Nick’s hands never left Lani’s arms, running up and down them, calming her, helping her to breath properly again. “How do I get him out of here?”

“How did you get him in here to begin with?”

They stopped their private conversation long enough to smile insincerely when Neron walked by them following his daughter into the other room. “Aaron…go check out what Santa brought Ro…make sure he didn’t forget anything, huh?”

Aaron was confused, lost and wondering if home might be a little less stressful. But, he didn’t ask, didn’t falter. Just obediently followed Neron and Rosalie into the room, scooping Rosalie up onto his shoulders as they slipped out of view.

Once alone, Lani practically collapsed into Nick’s arms and he walked her to the couch, sighing as the buzzer went off in the kitchen. “Sit. What do I have to do?”

“Take out the cookies, turn off the oven and shove kisses into them.”

“I can think of a few other things I’d like to shove…”

“Yeah, well…just do kisses and cookies right now. I’m going to pass out, if you don’t mind.”

Nick reluctantly left Lani in the room as he tended to her cookies and tried to find out what the hell was going on without saying anything that might be overheard. “So, uh…were you expecting him today?”

“No. Ro saw that I knew him and I always told her strangers aren’t strangers if Mamí knows them.”

“Of course…and everyone’s Ro’s friend.”

“Right. Next thing I know, he’s eating her cut-out cookies.”

“Christ.” Nothing else was said. Nothing else could be said. Not without someone going in and totally upending Rosalie’s Christmas. Nick finished with the cookies and brought the bag of leftover kisses in to Lani. “Here. Eat up.”

“You’re my hero.” Kryptonite dispensed of for the moment.

“He’s not staying while we open presents.”

“No, I’m not. Rosalie wants to show me something in her room. Is that okay?” Lani inadvertently flicked rolled foil from her fingers as her eyes bore into the faux innocence of the man who was single handedly trying to destroy her. “Nick will come with you.”

For the first time since he entered their home, Neron’s expression grew forceful and agitated. “I don’t think that will be necess-…”

“Yeah, Nicky…come on…help me show Neron la natividad. Tell him the story like you told me.”

“La natividad?” Neron’s eyes shot to Lani’s again, fury scorching through his plastic smile. It was obvious the child had no idea who he was…she was just being friendly because her Mama taught her to be that way. He shouldn’t be surprised since he’d heard nothing after he sent the gift. La natividad. But, he’d kept his eye out. He watched the house regularly. Watched the comings and goings of this ‘Nick’ person who he’d specifically told Lani to stay away from. And now the bastard had brought his bratty brother into her life as well.

What was Lani thinking? Hell, she’d never change. She covered her insatiable sexuality up with that tight-assed job of hers. But he knew. He knew she was all about hot nights and wild rides. Obviously this Carter dude supplied. Other than money, there surely was nothing else he could offer her…and she never had been all that interested in money anyway.

But now, now he’d seen it all. Someone else was filling the place he’d abandoned so many years ago. And Neron was tired of standing in the wings watching it happen. He was going to get back where he belonged. One step at a time. He was in the house and Rosalie knew him…at least by name. Lani would have to tell her the full truth eventually.

And then, he could pick up where he left off. He’d have Lani back. He’d have his baby girl. He’d pissed it all away, but now he was ready. Ready to be a daddy. Ready to make that little girl smile like this big oaf of a…

“Take your eyes off of Lani and walk. Her room’s down here.” Nick pulled on Neron’s shirt sleeve, making him remove his glare from Lani’s direction. “Come on, Neron.”

Rosalie inched away from her new friend, suddenly aware of everyone’s underlying anger. Hidden messages to each other. Lack of jolly ho-ho-ho happiness in the house. She wanted Neron to leave.

She bumped into Nick who immediately picked her up and carried her the rest of the way down the hall. Her head naturally fell to his shoulder, but her eyes never left those of the guest. His smile didn’t seem so sincere anymore. His reason for being there suddenly became cloudy to her…he wasn’t just a nice man who Mamí knew. Something was wrong.

Something was horribly wrong.

Rosalie stuck close to Nick’s side as she showed Neron her nativity and explained how she put new creatures and characters out as she counted the days to Christmas. He listened with interest and innocence, knowing that Nick was watching every move he made. Every twitch of his eyes. Every turn of his lips. For whatever reason, he submitted to the rule in the house that Neron’s identity would remain…at least for now…a secret.

Her words were mumbled, her explanations more childish than usual for her typically precocious nature. She was nervous and uncomfortable and really just wanted to get back to the Christmas tree, the presents and the cookies.

“Did you go to mass last night, Rosalinda?”

“It’s ‘Rosalie’, please. And, no. We stayed home.” Done with this conversation, she turned in Nick’s protective embrace and whispered in his ear. “I want him to leave now.”

Nick stood, holding her tight, but reached out a hand, showing him the door. “Neron…we’re getting ready for some family time. You need to go.”

“Family time, huh? Yeah…okay.”

With a warning glare to hopefully keep Neron from opening his mouth any further, Nick walked out and playfully called to his brother. “Hey, Aaron? Did Santa drop off gifts at my house for this little twerp?”

“Yeah, I think so…he’s gonna come take ‘em back if we don’t open ‘em up soon, though.”

“Eek!” Rosalie slid down from Nick’s arms to Aaron, pulling his hand as she guided him into the family room. The presents. The place she wanted to be with all of this yuckiness gone. “Come ON…we hasta open presents!! Bye, Neron!”

Lani hung up her apron again, this time hopefully for good, and quickly made her way to the front door to hold it open. “Yes, bye Neron. Feliz Navidad.”

“Can I have a word with you privately?”

“No. You can leave. And not return unless invited.”

“Which will be when? She’s my daughter, Lani.”

“Nice of you to finally recognize that. Now, it’s Christmas and you have intruded enough. You need to go.” She had somehow walked him to the door way and tried to close the door on him hoping to maybe catch a finger in the hinge or something. Anything.

His hand caught the door and stopped it, bringing Nick in even closer. “I have to ask you one question tho’, Lani…”

“What is it, Neron?” She jerked the door fully open and pulled away from Nick’s touch. She felt strong enough for the first time since this bastard walked through her door.

“Why didn’t you tell her that nativity was from me?”

“You know…you gave up your right to question how I raise her the moment you walked out the door.”

Neron’s face softened, but he fooled no one. He lifted his hand and traced her cheek with his knuckle, chuckling when she pulled away as though he carried some disease. “I’m ready to be her father now.”

“You don’t know what that means, Neron. She doesn’t need you. We don’t need you.”

“She will find out who her father is.”

“When I decide it’s time.”

Neron’s face hardened again, his eyes darkened to a coal black and his hand that had just tenderly touched Lani’s face, clenched into a fist. And then a finger extended from the fist into an accusing point. “You gave up your right to decide her parentage when you spread your legs for me.”

Nick bolted to the door but stopped as soon as he saw her hand smack up against Neron’s face. The door slammed and Lani slammed up against Nick’s chest, grabbing onto his shirt, his neck, his hair, anything she could get a hold of. Her strength was gone.

He held her close, praying that Aaron would keep Rosalie occupied in the other room until Lani could calm down. Until he could calm down. Of course, he wasn’t sure how soon that would happen. Neron had them both by the balls.

He was Rosalie’s father and he could prove it if need be.

And Nick? Where did he really factor into all of this? Into the lives of these women who he loved more than anything in this world?

“He won’t win, Nick…he won’t.”

Nick nodded and kissed the top of Lani’s head, not saying a word. How could she be so sure? The truth would come out. Rosalie deserved it after all.

And the truth was…

…Nick was nobody.

Not even a super hero.

For Rosalie, they tried. For Rosalie, they somewhat succeeded. Ben and Jack arrived later in the day and eased some of the tension simply by their naiveté of what had gone down. Patty had declared a moratorium on all things Darren related for the day, so Ben was relaxed and Jack was just…Jack.

“Wanna see the new Yu Gi Oh cards I got, Nick?”

His stack was at least four inches thick. And knowing Jack, there’d be a story to go with every single one of them. “What happened to the Bionicles?” It somehow seemed safer.

“Oh, they’re still at home. I got the rest of the Rahkshi and you got me that awesome Taku Nuva…I shoulda brought that, man. It’s so cool! It’s got landing gear and everything.”

“So how’d you get all those cards?”

“My stocking!” Jack smiled proudly. “I told Mom I’d rather have cards than candy…”

“Yeah, so he’s stealing my candy…kid’s a stinkin’ genius.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

And so the day went. Into night. Jovial. Comfortable. Nothing that resembled the inner turmoil swimming in the adult’s minds. Nick filled Aaron and Ben in on the details as they played basketball while Rosalie bathed for bedtime.

“What’s Lani gonna do?” Ben heard a faint knock from the living room window and looked up to see a topless Rosalie dancing and flirting from inside the house. “Nick, your woman is streaking again.”

“What?” Nick shot the ball and missed, cracking up as the four year old did a near perfect salsa. He waved and she disappeared, giving Nick permission to talk again. He hated this. It was like they were lying to the child, but he surely felt like he was keeping secrets from her. Un-enjoyable secrets at that; none of this fun Santa stuff he’d been hiding for the past month. “Well, first, I think Lani’s gonna put clothes on her.”

“Seriously, dude. I mean…I don’t even know my dad. I don’t think I want to now. But she’s still young…”

“I don’t think she has much of a choice. He’s just a court order away from visitation…” Nick tossed the ball to his brother, wishing he’d never brought this up. Or did Ben? Either way, he was done thinking about it. Why couldn’t anything just move along smoothly?

“Will they give it to him since he walked?” Ben rebounded Aaron’s shot and stopped the game, dribbling as they talked.

“No idea. And hell, we don’t even know if he’s all mouth or what. But if he’s gonna be hanging around…I think Lani has to tell her.”

“Why? She doesn’t ask, does she?”

“If your dad was hanging around, wouldn’t you wanna know?” Nick motioned for the ball and he stood firm in his spot, making an excellent shot and letting his brother retrieve it.

“Yeah, probably. So I could kick him in the nuts.”

“And see…I really don’t think Lani wants her to hate him.”

“She’s too forgiving. Just like you.” Now Nick understood why Aaron wasn’t saying much. He couldn’t move out of his own situation enough. Everything led back to his own heartache. Thing was, Aaron had a point. Had Nick stood up to his folks years before, Aaron probably wouldn’t be going through the shit he was now. Was that the answer for Neron? For Darren? For all of their collective griefs?

Nick took a seat against the garage, hoping the boys would keep playing. “Probably, Aaron, but this one is none of my business.” Aaron shrugged and took another shot, already tired of the whole topic. Parents sucked. “Have you called Dad today?”

“No. Not plannin’ on it. He knows how to reach me.”

“Aaron.”

“Don’t. You just deal with the shit here. I’ll deal with my own.”

“Nicky! I’m ready for bed!!” Rosalie hopped outside, clad in her brand new Dora pajamas and still damp hair. “And Ben’s mom called. She wants them to go home now.”

“I’ll take him.”

“You just wanna see Kitty again.” Nick held his hand out for Rosalie to help him up and popped his brother in the behind as he walked by.

“Yes, yes I do. She got rid of that boyfriend yet?”

“I don’t think so, dude. She came home with a bracelet last night.”

“Pth.”

“I’ll be your girlfriend, Aaron.” Rosalie rested her wet head on Aaron’s hip and he couldn’t help but smile. He kind of understood why Neron was starting to be a dick about her…she was a keeper. The kind you fight for.

“Okay, Ro.” He scooped her up held her tight, squeezing out all of his frustrations at his life and squelching a few tensions of the day while he was at it. “We’d better go ask your mom for permission though, huh?”

“Eh, she’ll let me. She likes your brother.”

Aaron trudged home, no closer to any success with Kitty than he’d had at Thanksgiving, and no more relaxed than he’d been when he arrived at Tampa airport only a few days prior. It wasn’t for lack of trying on anyone’s part. The situation at home sucked and he saw no end in sight. He did however, have some hope in mind with a promised visit from Ben for spring break. That was only a couple of months away…they would have a blast.

For everyone else, life went on as normal. As normal as it could anyway. Basketball season was in full swing and Ben was kept busy and away from home quite often…with no complaints. With El Dia de Reyes over, Lani and Rosalie were able to put Christmas away properly.

But alone.

“I miss Nick, Mamí. How many more sleeps?”

“Uh, what day is it?”

“Wednesday. He say he be home Saturday?”

“Yep, so how many sleeps is that?”

“Wednesday, Thursday and Friday…three more.” She put a blue bulb into its box and sighed. “I thought he say he work in Florida now.”

Lani stopped tittering around getting things put away and pulled the ottoman over to her daughter so they could talk. Ro’s accent would thicken and her English would get lazy the more tired or upset she was. For Lani, it happened when she got angry. Either way, it was a sign to stop and give her little girl some one on one time.

And they’d gone over this when Nick left. A reconciliation with the boys was in the works and while that was a very positive thing for Nick, it also meant he’d be traveling all over the country again as they worked out details and possibly started recording again. But, it was a bittersweet advance really. Nick was enjoying being around all the time. Enjoying being available to his brother, to Ben, to Lani and Rosalie. He wasn’t totally convinced he was ready to become the little brother in this group again. But, healing was needed. And he’d assured Lani that if they needed anything, he’d be on the next plane back home.

“He said he’d try to work from Florida now. But, things have changed, so he’s in California this week.”

“I want to go to California some day.”

“Maybe we could visit Nick there sometime, huh?”

“Why can’t the other boys come to Florida? It’s nice here.”

“Yes, it is, but their bosses and things are in California. I’m just glad they’re working together again…or trying anyway.”

Rosalie shrugged and looked at their empty tree. “I think we got ‘em all.”

“One more thing.” Lani turned around so Rosalie could climb on her back. “Hop on. We need to get the angel down.”

Rosalie found the smile inside herself and climbed up on the ottoman and onto her mother’s back. She reached up as tall as she could and grabbed, just catching the angel’s skirt. “Got her. Where do I put her?”

“Hrm…that box is full.” Lani scooted around the living room, shuffling her stocking feet along the carpeting as she went. “How ‘bout over here? Hang on to my shoulders.” She bent over at the waist and let Rosalie drop the angel into the box in the corner. When she stood back up, Rosalie’s caught a glance of something hiding at the back of the end table.

“Wait, Mamí…what’s this?” Before Lani knew what Rosalie was grabbing at, the child had clamored down and lifted up a white envelope from behind a plant. “It has my name on it. Did we miss a card?”

Lani paled and snatched it from Rosalie’s hand. “No, no, we didn’t. I uh, just…” She sighed as she sat down staring at the familiar writing on the envelope. “I hadn’t gotten around to sharing this one with you yet is all.”

“Well, I wanna see it, Mamí. Christmas is over!”

“Right. How, um. How ‘bout some milk and cookies while we open it, okay?”

“Okayyyy…” Rosalie didn’t understand the need for a treat while she opened a simple card, but any excuse for peanut blossoms and milk was fine by her. That is if Nick hadn’t eaten them all already.

Lani put together a quick plate and a couple of glasses and lifted Rosalie up to the barstool for their snack. She handed Rosalie the card and tried to keep her hand from shaking. She failed miserably. “Okay, Ro…this, um…came with the nativity.”

Rosalie frowned, not understanding why her Mom would keep that from her, but took it anyway figuring there must be a good explanation. She pulled the card out of the envelope and smiled at Nemo and Dory’s faces. “What’s it say, Mamí?”

Lani read the printed greeting on the card and waited for Rosalie to get done with her imitation of Crush, the sea turtle.

“Who’s it from, dude?”

“Well, dude…it’s…it’s from Neron.”

“Dude.” The cookie in Rosalie’s hand dropped to the plate and she took a large gulp of her milk. “Why he give me a present?”

Here it was. The moment Lani had hoped, in her most unrealistic heart of hearts, would never happen. The moment she had to open the door for Neron to be in Rosalie’s life. To risk her daughter’s heart for the sake of the truth. To put it all out there, not knowing what the truth would bring to their lives. She decided to delay just a few minutes more…if she could.

“Did you like him? When he came over for Christmas?”

“He was okay…how do you know him?”

“I met him a long time ago, baby. We, uh…we used to go out.” Lani grabbed a cookie and bit angrily, not enjoying the peanut butter and chocolate as it melted in her mouth at all. Bitter. Everything tasted bitter.

“Like you and Nicky?”

“Sort of, yeah.”

“He want to go out with you again?” Rosalie tried her cookie again, popping the kiss from the center and nibbling on the tip like a bunny rabbit.

“I hope not. Nicky keeps me pretty busy.”

“Yes. Just Nicky. No Neron.”

“No…but, um…” Lani pulled the ponytail out of her hair and shot the scrunchie across the room in frustration. How could she say this? How would Rosalie react? How could she explain it so that Ro knew she was still the most loved little girl on the face of the earth…even though her daddy had abandoned her before he even knew her name? “Okay, I have to tell you something and I’m nervous…”

“Why?”

“Because you may…because…” Lani sighed and tried again. “Because I am. I don’t know how I feel about it and I really don’t know how you’ll feel about it.”

“So you have to tell me. I not scared.”

Lani smiled at her beautiful daughter, reaching her hand up to touch the creamy complexion of her face. “Okay…we’ll be brave together then.”

Rosalie nodded against her mother’s finger and offered her a bite of her cookie. “Take a bite. Then tell me.”

Lani took a small nibble and quickly chewed, deciding to get it out quickly and back track if necessary. Fast had to be best. “You see, Neron…he…he loved me once. Or I thought so anyway.”

“And you loved him? Like with Nick?”

“I thought I did. But I was younger then too and didn’t know how good love can be.” Rosalie waited for what her mother had to say, knowing this wasn’t it…but knowing she wasn’t going to like it one bit either. “And well, sometimes when two people love each other…”

“They get married!”

“No. Well, yes, but no…” Lani sighed and shoved the rest of her cookie into her mouth, wondering if that had been wise, seeing how dry her mouth was. Somehow it got chewed and down and a smile came from somewhere deep within her, giving her at least a glimmer of strength to get this out. With a deep breath and a squeeze to her daughter’s hand she blurted out the truth.

“Neron is your father, Rosalie. He’s your daddy.”

“No. No he’s not. I don’t have a daddy.” Rosalie’s breathing had increased a million fold. And she was no longer interested in her milk or cookies.

Neither was Lani. “Yes, honey. Everyone has one at some point…or we wouldn’t be here.”

“Then…then…” Her brow furrowed and Lani could swear she saw steam coming out from under her curls. “…then where he been!?”

“I don’t know…”

“But, but…why he not live with us? Does…does he not like me!?” A tear finally escaped Rosalie’s confused little face, but right now she was too angry to cry full out. Although she could have sworn her heart was crying. Why did it hurt so much? She didn’t even know what was really going on. Maybe that’s why it hurt.

“Oh, baby…no, no, no…” Lani wiped the tear away from her daughter’s face and opened her arms for a hug. Rosalie happily accepted, sliding off of her stool and onto her mother’s lap. She curled up into a ball and hung on tight as Lani carried her to the overstuffed chair they both loved so much. Only good things seemed to happen in that chair. Lani would do her best not to break the tradition. “You listen to me, Ro…he didn’t know you. I didn’t either at the time. He found out I was pregnant and walked out.”

“Pregnant with me? Why he not want me?”

“He didn’t want a baby…any baby. We didn’t know if you were going to be a girl…or a boy…” She kissed her daughter’s forehead and brushed back the curls that were quickly matting to her head. “…or a lizard.”

“Maybe he wanted a lizard.”

“If my memory serves, he wouldn’t have known what to do with a lizard either. He was too busy playing and goofing off.”

“And you? Did you want me?”

“Oh honey. I was scared. I’m not going to tell you I wasn’t. But yes, I couldn’t have given you away or…” Lani shook her head at the thought of the other option that had briefly flown through her mind. “No. You were mine. And I loved you the moment I knew you were coming.”

Rosalie nodded, having too many questions flying through her head for any one of them to come out right. So, she just enjoyed the warmth of her mother’s arms, the rhythm of her heart beat against her chest, the silkiness of her hair against her face. She wrapped strands of her mother’s hair around her fingers and then wondered if Neron’s hair was as soft. Of course, he didn’t have very much hair. Not like Nick…and Nick’s hair was silky too.

“What if I don’t like him?”

“Well…I don’t know. We really don’t get to pick who our dads are going to be. I never got to pick mine either.”

“But, I wanted Nicky.” Rosalie sat up with a start, panic all over her face. “Does…does this mean Nicky will have to go away now? I don’t want him to go away!”

“No, honey, Nick’s not going anywhere. Why would you think that?”

“Won’t Neron come live with us now?”

“No…Neron doesn’t have to live here. He’s…well, he’s not welcome to live here. This is our home.”

“But, shouldn’t a daddy live with his little girl and wife?”

Solana sighed an ‘ah mi dios’ and looked up to the abandoned milk and cookies. “I need some more cookies…how ‘bout you?”

“Cut out’s this time…”

Lani was grateful for the temporary break and figured Rosalie was too. She wasn’t sure how far to go into this with her. How much did a four year old really understand about babies and marriage and love and idiocy and…men? Hell, how much did Lani understand? At the moment, it didn’t feel like enough, that was for sure. With another sigh, she got up and went to the kitchen, almost tripping over Rosalie who was sticking very close.

They put their plate together and refilled their glasses, snuggling back into the chair and nibbling on snowmen and stars and santas and bells.

“So, are you and Neron divorced?”

“No…we were never married.” Before Rosalie could ask, she set the record straight. “And we’re not going to be either.”

“I thought…”

“I know…and most of the times Mommies and Daddies are married. But, not always.”

Rosalie bit the clapper off of her bell and chewed, trying to make sense of this senseless talk her mom was throwing at her. She didn’t get any of it. “…how can he be my daddy then?”

“Um…you mean now, or…when I got pregnant?”

“Now.”

Lani sighed in relief…a lesson on the birds and the bees was hardly on her agenda. This was enough, thank you. “Well, I’m not sure. I don’t know what he wants to do.”

“Why is it up to him? I want to decide.”

“And you’ll get to…to a point. Honey, I don’t even know…I just…” Lani ran a hand through her hair and grabbed a star from the plate, biting off one of the tips. “…since he showed up and sent a gift, I thought you should know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“Because…” She looked into her daughter’s innocent, searching eyes and finally let out a tear of her own. “Because I didn’t know what to do. I honestly thought that he was gone for good and it would be just you and me. And we were doing very good, just you and me.”

“And Nicky.”

“And Nicky, yes. And even before Nicky. There are no guarantees that he’s always going to be here either.”

“What you mean? I thought he loved us. You said he’s not goin’ anywhere!” Rosalie went from confused stress to a full out sob fest, throwing her cookie back onto the plate and curling up into a ball on her mother’s lap.

This was not going well. And where was that proverbial rewind button when a mother said the wrong thing? No one bothered to show Lani that, dammit.

“Baby…I mean…he’s not going anywhere just because Neron is around. Nicky can still be in our life whether Neron...if he wants to…” Lani sighed and stopped, simply rubbing her daughter’s back and biting off the other four points of her star.

“So Nicky’s gonna be here.” She sniffed deeply and tried to still her voice. She was sure of this next thing and wanted, no, needed her Mom to be sure too. “You guys will get…” Ro hiccupped a few times and angrily sat up and wiped her eyes, punching the soft arm of the chair to calm herself down. “You’ll get married some day and then…” More hiccups, more wipes and another punch. “…and then he’ll be my daddy and Neron will go away.”

“That sounds like a very nice thing, doesn’t it, baby?”

“Yes. I love Nick, Mamí. And he loves us, and Neron…” She shook her head and laid back down again, swiping her bitten blue bell from the plate before settling in. “Neron cannot be my daddy. I already have one picked out.”

What was Lani supposed to say? How could she explain this? How could she upset her daughter further? How…what…why? There was the question. Why? Why did Neron come back? Why did he disappear in the first place? And why, why, why did Lani feel so afraid now that he was back and seemed to have an agenda in mind? She was secure in everything. Hell, she might even get some child support out of this mess.

She still wanted to throw up.

When Lani felt Ro’s muscles relax under her hand, she patted her daughter’s back, and smiling when their eyes met, she brushed a matted curl off of the small, furrowed brow. “Do me a favor, huh?”

“What, Mamí?”

“Go into the kitchen and read me the numbers on the clock on the microwave. If the numbers are higher than…” Lani calculated California time quickly in her head and on her fingers to be sure. “…9, 3, 0, bring me my cell phone from the counter, okay?”

Rosalie’s eyes lit up and she popped the rest of the bell into her mouth. “Are we gonna call Nicky?” Her hand smacked over her mouth when crumbs flew out of it as she spoke. “Lo siento.”

“Would you like to call Nick? I think he’ll be on dinner break now.”

“Yes…then I’ll sleep good tonight. Maybe he can sing to me on the phone.”

Before the two girls moved, Lani brushed her knuckle over her daughters porcelain smooth caramel skin and felt the first moment’s peace since this whole conversation had started.

Just like a daddy…he’ll sing his baby to sleep.

“Muñe! Como està?” Nick stood from the conference table where he’d spent way too many hours already that day and walked out of the room, ignoring the questioning looks he received from his old friends. “Un momento, Muñe.” He turned back to them and snickered when he saw their mouths hanging open. “We decided on dinner now, right? I’m out…”

“Uh…we weren’t quite done, Nick.”

“Dinner. One hour. My girls are on the phone. We’ll finish later.” With that he walked out and let the door slam behind him. Things were going pretty well, but it was definitely different. Brian, Howie, Kevin and even AJ were not used to this Nick. The one who would say, “no” or “I’m not happy with that,” or “what other options are out there?” They didn’t dislike it, they just…

“I guess it’s time for dinner.”

Nick found a small hallway to steal away in and leaned up against the wall, closing his eyes and imagining the inside of Lani’s house, stray Christmas boxes waiting by the garage for him to put up into storage, the remaining smell of dinner lingering in the kitchen and a freshly bathed and pajama’d Rosalie waiting for him to tuck her in. Home. He missed it desperately. “Okay, Ro, I’m back…how are you?”

“I’m okay. It’s bedtime and I wanted to say ‘goodnight’ to you.”

“Yeah, I guess it is bedtime…did you have a good day today?” Nick heard movement in the main hallway and peeked out, flipping off Kevin and AJ as they walked by smirking.

“Yes, we took down the tree, Nicky. The room looks empty.”

“I bet it does. We had a good Christmas, huh?”

“Yes, Nicky…” Rosalie’s voice faded as she remembered her strange conversation with her mother. She didn’t want to talk about it, but she couldn’t get it out of her head either. She wished she’d never found that stupid card.

“You okay, Muñe? I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Nicky. How many more sleeps?”

“Three more sleeps.” Nick heard a cackle in the hallway and looked around the wall again only to see Brian and Howie holding each other up as they walked away. “Just wait, Littrell…just wait ‘til that boy calls you, dude.”

“Yeah, yeah…three more sleeps, Nicky…three more!”

“… told me. Who talking to you?”

“Brian and Howie were being boogers. But they’re always boogers.”

Rosalie sighed and walked into her bedroom, ignoring the fact that Nick was hanging out with Backstreet Boys and glared at the nativity staring at her. “We forgot to put la natividad away. I don’t think I want it anymore.”

“No? I thought you loved that…” Nick heard her change in mood immediately and wondered…did Neron show up again? And without him there…

“I do, but…” she sighed and decided she needed to feel his arms around her before she’d let herself get too sad again. He’d make it all better. “…I think I just want my shelf back.”

“Oh, okay…have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“Yes, before I called.” She slipped under the covers and smiled at her mom as she appeared in the doorway right on time. “I want you to sing to me tonight, Nicky. Will you sing to me?”

Nick made a quick glance up and down the hallway and feeling satisfied he was alone, he agreed. “What do you want me to sing?”

“One of your songs…”

“Hmmm…okay…lemme think.” Nick mulled a few of his songs over in his head and smiled when he remembered one he’d sung to her mom about a year earlier. It fit, especially when he’d start in the middle.

I want to thank you
For all of the things you've done
And most for choosing me
To be the one

It's funny how life can take new meaning
You came and changed what I believe in
The world on the outside's trying to pull me in
But they can't touch me cuz I got you

And it hits me when I reach for you
That I'm afraid you won't be there …

Nick’s voice faded out mid-verse and he heard the even rhythm of Rosalie’s breathing.

“Muñe? You asleep?”

“She’s asleep…I love you.”

“Mmm…” Nick smiled at Lani’s deep, rich voice wondering if he could actually make it three more sleeps away from his girls. “I love you too, baby.”

“Come home soon. We need you.”

“You got me, Lani. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

As needed as Nick felt at home, and as exhausting as that got, he realized while with the boys, need was no longer what bonded him to them. He had a mind of his own now. And they didn’t like it. He had ideas he was now bold enough to share. And they didn’t like that. He was no longer ‘the baby’ who would get the occasional ‘yes Nick’ to his ideas and be satisfied. No, now he wanted to be heard, considered, and counted. And they weren’t ready for it or used to it.

So, he took full advantage of the situation and spoke his mind two nights into the three night wait until he got home.

“What’s tomorrow?” Record execs, new management, old management, contracts and timelines had floated around these meetings for the past few days and Nick felt like nothing had truly been accomplished. Talk, talk, fucking talk. Didn’t they pay people to do this shit?

“Friday.” Kevin slid another paper in front of Nick’s face, pointing to where he was supposed to sign.

“Thanks, genius. I meant, what are we doing tomorrow? We’re signing now, we’ve talked until there’s nothing to say…what’s tomorrow?” Nick scratched his name onto the appropriate line and sighed seeing at least 10 more pages coming down the line.

Kevin dotted the ‘i’ in his name and looked up, first glancing at the other 3 because his mind had suddenly gone blank. “I have no idea…”

“Good, I’m headed home then.” Nick got up and moved to the left of Brian where he could be the first to sign rather than the last. “How many more, man?”

“Where’s the fire? Just get back in your seat…you’re screwing up the line.”

Nick ignored Brian, feeling damned good doing it, and grabbed at the stack next to Brian’s arm. “I don’t think I had to sign this much shit when I bought my house…this is ridiculous.” He finished that stack, looked at the pile by Kevin, finished those and signed anything in between. Tossing his pen onto the conference table, he wrapped an arm around each of the guys. “See you in three weeks. I’m out.”

With a quick wave to the suits sitting across the table, he slipped out before anyone could stop him.

Before anyone tried.

Until later. He had packed up the disaster in his hotel room, changed his flight arrangements, and was finally able to strip down to his boxers, kick up his feet and chill in front of the television until he nodded off. Too much partying with suits. For suits - he never figure out which was which - too much smiling when he’d rather frown. Too much silence when he wanted to speak up and too many manners when he just wanted to belch and fart and scratch. He was a singer who wanted to sing. All of this administrative shit was just that. Shit. He wanted to record. Something. Anything. He wanted to perform. Somewhere. Anywhere.

And now that he was cozy in bed with some obnoxious tabloid TV show blaring in his face, he just wanted to go home.

But the phone rang instead.

“What?”

“You care to explain your little exit this evening?”

“What do you want me to explain, Kev? We talked, we agreed, we signed, we’re done and I’m going home.”

“Is everything okay at home? Aaron alright? The girls?”

“Not that home…” Nick sighed and flipped the TV off for the time being, definitely not interested in what J-Lo and the Hilton sisters were doing…or who they were doing. “Home home. And no, Aaron sucks.”

“You mean you flew out of here to go back to the girlfriend? Nick, Jesus…you can’t be playing games like that anymore. This is serious. We have to focus or we’re going to fall flat on our faces.”

“So because you don’t think I’m going to the right home, I’m playing games?” He flipped the TV back on and found CNN. Their droning had to be better than Kevin’s preaching.

“You can’t just check out because you’re horny. It doesn’t work that way.”

“I’m hanging up, Kev. Any other words of wisdom you need to share with me?”

“Grow up, Nick. It’s about fucking time, man. Just grow the hell up.”

“Bye, Kev.” Nick flipped his phone closed and tossed it on the nightstand and flipped back to the tabloid TV. More mind numbing.

“Hmmm…that Paris chic is kinda hot.”

Nick was grateful for the long flight home, except when he couldn’t get the conversation with Kevin out of his mind. “Grow up, Nick.” Had they not seen a goddamned thing? He wasn’t partying…well, quite so hard anyway. He was settled down with one woman and couldn’t imagine his life with anyone else. He had mentored a teenager into a permanent relationship and…his whole life had been nothing but a growing up process in the two years since the guys had been together. And this…this is Kevin’s final message to him?

“Grow up, Nick.”

He turned the music up in his ears and drowned out Kevin’s voice and his own self doubt. He had grown up, dammit. And coming home a day early was proof of it. He didn’t ask, didn’t beg, didn’t even discuss. He made the decision based on the fact that there was nothing left to do in LA and got his ass on a plane.

A plane that was thankfully, finally landing. Just a quiet drive home, and he’d be in Lani’s arms again. He’d have Rosalie’s curls tickling his cheek again, and he could shoot some hoops with Ben, listen to Jack ramble on about some Bionicle nonsense. He could be Nick again. The Nick he wanted to be.

Grown up Nick paid the driver, dumped the contents of his bag onto his closet floor and quickly changed clothes, hardly able to button, zip, brush his teeth and grab a drink fast enough. His girls. He needed his girls. And like Lani said, they needed him. One more chant of “grow up, Nick,” resounded in his head and he finally spoke aloud to the disturbing voice. “Take that, Kevin. Someone already thinks I have.”

He flew out of his development and hit the state route with a bolt, breaking only a few minor traffic laws to get to the town to his south. To get to his girls. To his home. To his grown up life.

He slowed once in Lani’s development, not particularly wanting to greet them with red and blue lights trailing him up into their driveway. And then, as he pulled into the driveway, the Latin bass of a boom box on Lani’s porch drowning out the sound of his arrival, he stopped not only driving, but also breathing. And thinking. And feeling his hands.

There were his girls alright. Lani was reclining in a chair with her hair down, head tossed back and laughter pouring from every inch of her body as she held onto a drink. From the looks of it, a margarita. Rosalie wasn’t on her own chair. No, she was sharing one.

With Neron.

Her finger went up to his mouth, pointing at his gold tooth and giggling as he bit at the intrusion, then laughing as he took that giggle and turned it into a tickle fest. She dodged his fingers on her sides, slipping off of his lap, landing on her bottom and then squealing as she crawled behind her mother’s chair trying to get away from his wiggling fingers.

“Sálveme, Mamí! Sálveme!”

“Salvarte? Por qué?” Lani reached around and grabbed her daughter, lifting her up over the chairs and planting her firmly in front of Neron. “Atrápala!”

Nick had seen enough. Cries for salvation from Ro to Neron just about put him over the edge, but to see Lani playing along and…he couldn’t believe the jealous rage boiling from within. With a deep breath, he tried to put it under wraps as he opened the door and slammed it shut, making all of the activity on the porch stop.

A heart of true devotion would be shown in this moment and everyone knew it. Ro could keep playing with Neron, stop playing with him and wave or completely end things with the bastard and come running to Nick. Lani the same.

Nick held his breath, waiting for the conclusion of the longest split second of his life. One that could very possibly make or break his heart.

It was a very long split second.

“Nicky!!!!!” The brown curls and their owner broke from the grasp of the other man and Nick let out a whoosh of air so forcefully he shocked himself. He didn’t realize how scared he really was.

“Muñe!” With one jump, she was in his arms and he was kissing her neck and face, closing his eyes so tightly as they swirled that he feared opening them again or they’d fall down.

“It was only two sleeps…you’re early!”

“I know. I missed you, so I came home. Is that okay?”

She pulled back and looked at him like he had just lost his mind. Kissing his nose, she wrapped her arms around his neck again and squealed, kicking him right in the crotch with her excitement. “Of course it’s okay!”

“Feet! Feet…watch the feet!” He jumped back and put her down, trying to gracefully grimace and not grab. But the sound that was music to his ears cut through the pain. He looked up to see Lani walking towards him, laughing at his misfortune, yet so full of love for him that she was having trouble containing it all in her delicious, curvaceous body.

No kicks to the crotch greeted him this time. Only warmth and love and joy and comfort. “I can’t believe you’re here…god, I missed you.”

Nick breathed her in, running his hands through her hair, opening his eyes long enough to wink at Rosalie who watched the scene before her, completely forgetting the tickle monster she’d left on the porch. “Looks like my timing is bad.”

“No. It’s not. It’s perfect.” Nick pulled her back and pressed his lips to hers, never wanting to part. But he had to. There was still that…man…on her porch.

“Is it?” His eyes traveled to the front of the house and back down to the brown pools of love that looked up to him with lust and adoration.

“Yes. It is. We have a lot to talk about.”

“I see that.” His eyes never left hers, wanting explanations now, wanting her now. Wanting Neron to go back to the hole from whence he crawled. He was getting to be a complete nuisance.

“Rosalie…go get the picture you drew for me. I’m going to go.” Neron had watched the whole reunion take place, his eyes never leaving Nick’s and Nick’s going back to his every time he could without the girls thinking he was plotting some kind of world domination. And with the daggers being tossed between the two men, Neron knew his welcome had just worn out.

“Come on, Nicky. I drew a bunch for you, too. We were gonna take ‘em to your house, but…you beat us.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Now I can see your face when you see ‘em!” She took hold of his hand and pulled him out of her mother’s arms to go inside. “You can wait out here, Neron. We’ll be back.”

Nick tossed one more evil glare at the man on the porch as he walked by, mumbling his own words of control to himself. “Yes, you wait out here, asshole.”

As soon as the screen door closed behind him, Nick lifted Rosalie back up into his arms, trying to ignore the nausea that was still coursing through his body. So she’d left play with Neron to come see him. But she’d looked so comfortable with him. So happy…and…how silly did it sound, but she was only supposed to be that comfortable and happy with him. Not the man who abandoned her.

“I’m so glad you’re home. You gonna spend the night?”

“If Mamí wants me to, I will.”

“She’ll want you to. She’s not so grumpy in the mornings when you’re here.”

Nick chuckled, having a hard time imagining Lani to be a grump in the mornings. It seems he still did have a lot to find out about this woman. He saw the dining room table covered in paper and wondered if Ro had done anything BUT draw since he left. “You’ve been busy!”

“It rained a lot. I was bored. Lemme find Neron’s so he can go home.”

Nick couldn’t hide his cocky smirk and it only broadened as he saw the picture she pulled out of the pile. A portrait of the jerk. Gold tooth and all. It wasn’t a particularly flattering portrait either. “Sign it for him…”

“Okay...” She dug out a crayon and stood over the picture for a minute probably deciding what to sign. Her name was all she could muster, no “Love” preceding it, which he could already see was on every picture that had his name on it. Yeah, you stay way the hell outside…outside of our lives. She swirled a big dot over her “i” and tossed the crayon down. “You give it to him.”

“Uh, no. I’m going to get something to drink. You give it to him.”

“Pth. Maybe he left already.”

Nick wanted to ask questions. Prod. Pester. Get her to whine and complain about him, but the grown up…the one he wished would disappear…wouldn’t let him. He had to be the adult. That was getting old too. “I think he wants his picture…”

She sighed again and drug herself to the front door, cracking the screen door only enough for her arm to reach through it. “Here, Neron. Mamí, are you coming in?”

“Yep.” Lani’s eyes led Neron to the driveway, inviting his exit. “Th-uh…thanks for calling first this time.”

Neron simply nodded and Rosalie slipped back inside the house. She was ready for him to leave now. Her Nicky was home and no one, no way, no how was ever going to replace his spot in her heart. He had taken residence and no one was invited to join. She decided right then and there that whether that man was her daddy or not…she’d never let him take Nick’s special place.

Lani walked in and locked the screen door behind her, a move Nick hadn’t seen since the break in almost a year prior. His eyes questioned and hers answered with a “not now” that he happily accepted. She silently melded into his open arms, relief overcoming her as his touch soothed the tension she’d been carrying since Neron had called earlier that afternoon. “I’m sorry, Nick.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, Lani…I just wish…” He looked up from the embrace and saw Rosalie’s expectant eyes, numbers of hand-drawn pictures in her hands. Now was not the time. “…I wish we didn’t have to be apart at all.”

“But we do. We’ll make it.”

He kissed the top of Lani’s head and smiled at Ro, motioning her to come join them. “Lemme see what you’ve got, Muñe.”

“I got you, Nicky…just like your song. See?” And that’s what she had. Pictures of them at the park. Reading books, cooking dinner, swimming in his pool, snuggling in his bed. Not just Nick and Ro…Nick, Lani and Ro.

“You like it like that, huh? The three of us?”

“Yes. You, Me and Mamí. That’s how I want it.”

Nick and Lani shared a glance, a timid smile and a gaze deep enough to make Rosalie step back at its intimacy.

Some day. That’s how it would be. It just had to be.

“No te vayas todavía, Nicky.”

Nick’s butt hadn’t even left the bed yet when Ro pulled him back down…for the third time since his initial ‘goodnight.’ “Muñe, es hora de dormir.”

"Yo sé." She knew it was time for bed. She still didn’t want him to leave. What if he never came back? Worse yet, what if he never came back and Neron did? Nope, he was going to be the last face she saw before she fell asleep. She rolled over, tugging the blankets out from under him and sighed heavily. “Stay ‘til I fall asleep.”

“You won’t sleep with me here, sweetie…” He ran his hands over her curls, her shoulders and even found himself comforting the stuffed Dora she had under her arm. “See, Dora’s sleepy too.”

“Well, Dora likes her daddy. She can sleep.”

Nick’s warm touch of comfort fell cold. His blood ran cold. He could swear he felt a cold draft blow through the room as goose bumps covered his arms, his mouth dried and his breath was stolen from him. He licked his lips, hoping for some relief from the cotton mouth and bit down on his tongue when it failed. “Um…d-don’t, um…hang on. I’ll be right back. I promise.” He stood before she could stop him, before he had to think about how to walk.

Rosalie sat up like a shot, her panic-stricken eyes glowing in the darkness of her room. “Don’t leave, Nicky!”

“Just a minute, baby. I wanna get Mamí. Promise…right back.”

Rosalie fell back into her pillow, never letting go of Dora, never taking her eyes off of the ceiling, never relaxing until she heard his footsteps in her doorway again. Of course, she didn’t hear that until she heard mumbled, angry voices out in the hallway. She stuck her fingers in her ears because the last thing she wanted to think about was Nick being angry. That might mean Nick would leave. And if that happened…well…she just decided to sing the map song from Dora so she couldn’t hear anything. That’d make it all go away.

“Were you planning on telling me this any time soon? For God’s sake, Lani!” Nick tried to keep his anger to a whisper. He didn’t want Ro to hear this, but he was so flabbergasted at the whole thing that he couldn’t keep it to himself.

“Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone, I didn’t…” Lani looked to the closed door and heard her daughter’s scared voice wobbling through her silly song. “I didn’t want any of this to happen, okay?”

“Yeah, well that’s just great. She just dumped this on me like a fucking bomb and I’m supposed to know what to DO with it!?”

“I said I was sorry. That’s all I can do now.” She reached for the door, but stopped, feeling his forceful hand on her arm.

“So that’s why the bastard was here? He’s gonna be the daddy now?”

“Not now, Nick.”

“When, then, huh? When are you going to quit brushing this shit under the carpet until you’re ready to face it?”

“Are we going to stand out here and argue or are we going to go in there and calm her down, huh? What’s more important right now, you or her?”

Nice. Throw the kid into it. Oh yeah, it was about the kid. That’s right…Nick was a grown up now. Wee. “Yeah, okay…look, I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect…I…” He stopped mumbling and heard Rosalie’s sweet voice on the other side of the door and completely melted. “…shit, let’s go. I’m sorry.”

Lani accepted his apology with a kiss and they opened the door to a conversation none of them were prepared to have.

“Okay, Muñe, I’m back…”

“I’m the map! I’m the map! I’m the map! I’m the map!” Rosalie kept singing, her fingers stuck firmly in her ears. She didn’t want to hear a thing.

“Ro…baby.” Lani bent over her daughter, the light from outside finally allowing her to see what was going on. She gingerly pulled her daughters fingers from her ears and kissed the tip of her nose. “We’re back.”

“You still fighting?”

“No, Muñe…we weren’t fi-…”

“No more lies. I heard you.” Nick took a breath to try to say something else, but she stopped him with her words. “Maybe you should go now.”

“Ro. You’re upset and…and I didn’t know…and…” Nick sighed and pulled the chair out from her desk and sat down, afraid his legs might give out if asked to stand one more minute. “…So Mamí told you about Neron…”

“Yes. And I no like ‘im.” Rosalie rolled on her side, turning her back to her mom and Nick, squeezing Dora tightly and wishing this all to go away.

“You sure seemed to be having fun with him when I pulled up tonight. He can’t be that bad.” Just saying it made Nick want to vomit. What was he trying to do here? What were they supposed to be trying to do here?

Rosalie rolled back around, her eyes the size of saucers. “What? You like him? I thought he scare you at the park.”

“He did. I didn’t know it was him…for sure.”

“So why I s’pposed to like him now just because…just…” She sniffed and wiped her nose on Dora’s hair, flopping back onto her back. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Just don’t leave.”

“I’ll be in the room with Mamí.” He got up from the chair and got down on his knees at her bedside wanting her confusion to magically disappear with his touch. “Muñe,” his knuckles brushed her cheek and she finally turned to look at him, a tear dripping out of her eye and quickly sliding down towards her ear. Until Nick caught it with his thumb. “…listen. When I do go home, or to work, or wherever, I’m not going away to make room for Neron, or to leave for good.”

“So why he come here today?”

Nick turned back to Lani for that one. It was an answer he was looking for himself.

“Because he called. Because he wanted to see you again.”

“What if I don’t want to see him?”

“Nick’s right, honey. You two got on so well. Why can’t you give him a chance?”

“Because…because I feel like…because…” Rosalie was getting worked up again and a flood of tears were threatening to make this night’s sleep an uncomfortable one.

Nick wrapped her up in his arms and let her sob, let her explanations go to the wayside for now. They were hardly worth it at the moment. He was dealing with his own confusion anyway. That and anger at Lani. If nothing else, it seemed he and Ro shared that. Probably for two totally different reasons, but neither of them quite understood why she was going about this the way she was. And neither knew how to challenge her on it. “Scoot over, baby. Lemme crawl in too.”

Rosalie’s sobs stilled long enough to let Nick into the bed with her and he gave his own body language to Lani as he rolled around Ro, his back to the center of the room and whispered quiet secrets into the child’s ear.

Lani stayed in the room for a few more moments, knowing she was momentarily unwanted. After she heard Ro’s cries quiet and then a small giggle escape from their pile of blankets and love, she took her leave quickly and quietly.

This could not continue. There was one man who filled the gap in Rosalie’s life as far as a father-figure was concerned and that man was wrapped up in her daughter’s bed. Lani didn’t know how, she didn’t know when, but she did know…

…Neron was not going to hurt her daughter now or ever again.

“Did she finally settle?” Lani tossed the magazine she had been staring at onto the coffee table and stood to hopefully have her own time of comfort with Nick.

“Yeah, she’s asleep.” He brushed by her and went to the kitchen, hoping to find something to do while he figured out how to talk to Lani about all of this. He didn’t think he had a right to be mad, the child was hers for heaven’s sake. He was mad anyway.

“Maybe I should just turn in too…”

“If you want. I think I’m gonna stay out here and chill a bit.” He grabbed a can of pop from the fridge and stayed in the kitchen. Avoidance was his specialty.

The silence between them was long and uncomfortable. She’d emotionally reach and he’d emotionally retreat. Without a word, she finally turned and walked down the hall to her bedroom, leaving him to stand in the dark kitchen alone with his drink, this thoughts, his anger.

She slowly got ready for bed, wondering if the house had ever been this quiet before. Deafeningly silent. She hated it. After running a brush through her hair for longer than necessary, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed, knowing full well no sleep would take over if this was hanging over their heads.

“Go face it, Romero…you made this mess.”

“Anyone talking back to you in there?”

Lani jumped and gasped at Nick’s sudden presence in her doorway. “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” They stared at one another for a long moment, words of apology silently passing between them, neither sure what they were apologizing for or even if they should be. “You look beautiful.”

Lani looked down and chuckled at her very non-beautiful appearance. She had on one of Nick’s faded t-shirts, old, thinning knit pajama pants and footies…complete with permanent back patio stains and a hole in the right piggie toe. “Hardly.”

Not knowing what else to say, he lifted his can in offering to her. “Drink?”

“Yeah…sounds good.”

It all felt so awkward and scripted. They hated it. If anything, their relationship had never been scripted. Shoot from the hip, good or bad - even at the beginning when they were convinced they hated each other. This dancing around an issue sucked. Nick headed out toward the kitchen but stopped when he heard her call him back.

“Nick?”

‘Neeck’. It still made his heart race, his face flush, his insides know that his life was complete with her in it. “Yeah?”

“I know I’ve not done this the way…none of this has happened how I wanted…I…I’ve probably really screwed things up.”

He took a breath to say something, but she stopped him quickly. “No, let me get this much out, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Just know that, even when I screw up…and I do, even when it comes to Ro…that I’m just trying to do what I think is right at the time. And…I try to count you in that too. It’s not just me and Ro anymore, and…I just…” She sighed and ran a hand through her long waves, finally leaning up against the door frame to her bathroom. “…I love you so much, Nick. I’ve never…this is all new to me, and so…so sometimes I really fuck it up.”

Nick simply smiled and nodded. “Lemme get your drink.” He walked out of the room and Lani’s heart sank.

She thought she was doing the right thing. She never figured Nick would get so upset. Or Neron would truly pursue this invasion into their lives. Or Rosalie would be so torn up about it all. Truth was, she hadn’t figured much of anything. No one is ever prepared for this. For pretend love, for accidental pregnancies, for disappearing partners and then for soul mates to miraculously appear out of a court order. None of this was in her plan.

But, after witnessing what she witnessed in Rosalie’s room only moments before, she knew one thing was going to be in her plan from now on. They worked as a trio. Not a duo and not a trio with a different third leg. If she was so adept at screwing things up, then she was going to have to become adept at fixing them too.

Because life without Nick for her or Rosalie was just not something either of them could tolerate.

Minutes that felt like hours passed while Lani could do nothing more than stare out her window into the darkened yard as she waited for Nick to return with a simple beverage. She watched the palm tree, their palm tree, sway in the breeze, the occasional palm leaf bend into the faint brightness of a nearby street light. She wished for her own street light to illuminate things a bit for herself. For the first time in her years as a mom, she truly felt in the dark. Rule number one, love them. Rule number two, love them when you’d rather not bother and rule number three? Love them some more. She could do that and she knew she did it well.

Now, however, compassion for her daughter’s well being didn’t seem to be enough. There were other people involved, other hearts to consider, lifelong decisions to be made in only nanoseconds of time. “Can I come see Ro today?” There was no time to think. No time to wonder how it would affect her, Ro, Nick, Neron. It seemed harmless, and in looking at it from the outside, it was harmless.

But this wasn’t a matter to be looked at from the outside. This was a heart matter. The baby is hungry, you feed it. The baby is dirty, you change it. The toddler is cranky, you lay it down for a nap or feed it or distract it. The preschooler is confused, you educate it. The little girl is having to choose between her heart and her blood? No fix was obvious. No answer was written in a book. No solution stared blatantly in her face just waiting to be executed. So, she ended up hurting and confusing her daughter. And in hurting and confusing her daughter, she’d hurt and confused Nick. And in hurting and confusing Nick, she’d just downright disgusted herself.

Lani leaned forward, letting her forehead rest on the cool glass of the window, hoping its chill would slow down the whirling and spinning in her brain.

“Here you go.” The brush of the cold can hit her arm and Lani lifted her head and turned, taking the drink from Nick without meeting his eyes. “Do…do you just want to be alone to-…?”

“No.” She pulled back at her quick reply, smiling shyly at her need. It was unusual, to be sure. “I’m sorry. You must be tired. Maybe you want your own bed.”

“I’m fine, Lani. I just…” Nick sighed and fell into the rocking chair by the window. The one he’d found her curled up in when her house had been broken into. The one he figured housed her and Ro many a night for feedings and tummy aches. “…I am tired. And…” he took her hand in his making her look at him, the seriousness in his gaze cutting through the dark room. “…I’m angry and I don’t feel like I have any right to be.”

“Take a number. Ro’s angry with me too.”

“Yeah, she is. We’ll both get over it.” Nick shrugged and let go of her hand, finishing off his drink and crinkling the can in his palm. “We’ll get over it.”

“I don’t want you to ‘get over it’. I want to make it right.”

“I’m not so sure what ‘right’ is.”

“I’m not either, Nick. But I’m sensing letting Neron hang around isn’t it, huh?”

“That’s the thing, Lani. It’s not for me to decide.” He crunched the can tighter and began to mindlessly rock the chair.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah.”

The squeak of the rarely-used chair cut through the awkwardness in the room, it’s rhythmic pace running up Lani’s back. She tapped the can in his hand and stopped his rocking with her hip. “Is that my head you’re crushing or Neron’s?”

He squeezed the metal again and took her hand, pulling her down onto his lap. “It’s nobody’s head.” Dropping his crinkled mess onto the floor, he took her drink and placed it on the windowsill, beginning to rock again, letting her curl up in his arms, her gentle massage of his arm matching his gentle brushing of her hair over her shoulders. “We’ll get through this, okay?”

She nodded against his shoulder and placed a soft kiss on his neck, listening to the rhythmic squeak of the chair meld into her thoughts, her fears and her anxieties, allowing Nick’s comfort to calm her, assure her and give her reason to know that he was right.

They would get through this.

How they got from anger-induced stillness to passion-laden silence, Lani wasn’t sure, but she did know that feeling Nick’s arms so gently, yet firmly holding her up and breathing in his scent as they rocked all of their questions away became too much for her to bear.

Besides, his neck was right there and her lips were only millimeters away. What was she supposed to do? Ignore that?

She was now standing, slipping his shirt up over his head, quickly making use of the opportunity to shed her own cotton skin. She took his hands and brought them up to cup her breasts, tugging gently on his wrists to bring him to the bed.

Lani scooted in, Nick crawled on, Lani kissed and licked, Nick suckled and nipped. Before long, limbs were tangling, bottom garments were dropping to the floor and flesh was meeting with flesh, blending soft with firm, warmth with wetness, graceful with clumsy, love with lust and mostly, anger with passion. Thoughts of Neron had long left the room. Feelings of incompetence were temporarily silenced. Doubts, questions, fears all escaped as they moved as one, the unity they knew was truth above all else.

Their rhythm was slow and measured, their connection complete and absolute. Lani’s hand reached up to cup Nick’s face in her palm, brush his cheek with her thumb, knowing that when questions surrounded her, somehow, someway, the answers to her life were in this man. This silly boy-man who had come into her office with the attitude of a total rock star and opened himself up to all the possibilities that a life of vulnerable love can offer. And here she was reaping the benefits.

“I love you so much, Nick.” Her head lifted to meet his lips as he thrust into her, holding himself there, feeling her body squeeze around him, love him, comfort him, strengthen him. She felt the silkiness of his hair brush against her cheek as he nuzzled into her neck whispering his own words of love, promise and devotion, gently pushing into her with each declaration. Their eyes met again, their intensity increased and the feelings of love became temporarily squashed by pure animalistic need. Need for pressure, need for tension, need for complete, fulfilling, satisfying release.

They silenced as their bodies settled, the small beads of sweat suddenly became noticeable, their breath returned to normal and the mixed desires of sleep and a repeat performance clouded their minds. He fell to her side, pulling her in close and kissing her head. Nothing was said as they shifted the comforter out from under their nakedness allowing sleep to take over where the passions left off.

Tomorrow they’d talk. Tomorrow they’d try to find answers. Tonight was for them, for love, for reunion, for passion.

Mañana. There was always mañana.

Ah, mañana. Somehow one mañana can turn into la mañana de mañana de mañana. The next thing you know, two weeks have passed and nothing has been discussed, which is exactly what happened to Nick and Lani. Neron hadn’t reared his ugly head, so all seemed well. All seemed fine. Any threats of the perfectly contented life they had carved out for themselves seemed to have disappeared. Besides, it was so much easier to believe that than to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

“Come see what Abuela got me, Nicky!” Ro tugged at Nick’s hand before both feet were across the threshold of the front door.

“What Abuela got you? Christmas was only a month ago!”

“She loves me.”

“I love you too, but I don’t buy you stuff all the time.”

Rosalie stopped dragging him down the hall and let his hand drop between them. Her hands plopped firmly on her hips and her head cocked like an attentive mop eared dog. “You want to see or not? We’re just getting ready to start.”

Nick’s eyebrow raised, his heart melted and the women of his life came and took full residence of his faculties. Again.

Lani was already in her place at the small table in Rosalie’s room. The table that was typically littered with drawings and school papers and books. It had been literally brushed clear, the pile of papers unceremoniously dumped onto the floor with a perfectly measured 4 yr. old arm. Dora sat next to Lani and 2 empty chairs remained. “You sit across from Mamí. By Dora and me.”

Rosalie waited for her new guest to get as settled as humanly possible into the miniature chair. She kissed his cheek and turned her back on her guests, collecting all she needed to make the party happen.

Nick and Lani’s eyes met, Nick’s full of question and Lani’s full of giggles. “Tea, my sweet. It’s time for mid-afternoon tea.”

“Si! And then we siesta. Or pretend to anyway.” Rosalie clunked and clanged her new tea set getting everything just so for her guests.

“Ah, real tea and pretend naps…sounds like a perfect party to me.” Nick winked to Lani and stopped himself short of winking at the doll sitting to his right. He almost didn’t catch himself.

Rosalie turned, tray in hand and a perfect waitress smile to boot. “Here we go! Tea, and Mamí let me get some Christmas cookies out of the freezer.” She set the tray down and quickly poured tea into their miniature cups being as careful as possible not to spill. She didn’t do too bad. Placing the teapot back onto the tray, she smoothed her skirt under her bottom and sat down across from Dora, leaning in to share one small secret with Nick first. “It’s really apple juice. Mamí says I won’t like tea.”

“Mamí’s a smart lady.”

“Pretty too, huh?”

“Ahem!! I’m right here, you two goofs. Are we gonna drink or gossip?”

Nick lifted his cup and clinked sides with Ro, Lani and even Dora. “I say we drink and gossip. Isn’t that what high tea is for?”

They all took dainty sips from their teacups and grabbed at the cookies at the same time, all three hands landing on the exact same meringue drop. Nick’s hand landed first, but he pulled his hand out from the pile and found another cookie suggesting maybe Dora wanted a meringue drop. Rosalie felt the advantage and took it, popping a bite into her mouth, talking around her chew. “Not my fault she’s a doll and is slow.”

“You’re not a very generous host, Muñe.”

“I am. I’m also hungry.”

The trio ate and giggled, the adults groaned at the small chairs and the cookies almost disappeared.

Almost that is, until the doorbell rang. Ro jumped to get it, but Lani rose as quickly as she could, moaning as her body popped and unfolded. “No, baby. Let me stretch a little. Ben said he’d come by today. I bet it’s him.”

But it wasn’t.

Lani returned with a nervous giggle and full apologies written all over her face.

And with another guest to the tea party. An uninvited one.

“Ro, we have another guest for the party. How ‘bout Dora give up her seat for him?”

Ro and Nick looked up from their love affair and dropped their cookies. Squeezing Ro’s hand, Nick stood to be polite. And maybe to break a few fingers while he shook the schmuck’s hand.

“Neron. Nice to see you again.” His words were kind, his glare was not.

Neron simply nodded and bent down to take Dora from the chair, smiling at Ro as he did.

“You do not touch her.”

“Rosalinda!” Lani took her seat, squeezing Rosalie’s shoulder when her daughter’s heart overruled her manners.

Rosalie’s eyes never left Neron until he righted himself and waited for further instruction. Nick just sat in his mini chair and tried his hardest not to laugh. This wasn’t funny, but Rosalie was a force to be reckoned with. He loved fiery women. Her gaze slowly turned to her mother and she ripped herself away from Lani’s grasp. “This tea party is full. He can sit on the bed.”

Lani opened her mouth to say something, but Neron lifted his hand and did as the child asked. “It’s okay, Solana. I’ll sit here.”

Rosalie glared at the man and looked to Nick for…something. She smiled at his wink and felt like she could do this with him here. “You want tea, Neron? There are more cups in the box behind you.”

“Yes, por favor.”

Ro picked up the pot and started out of the room.

“Rosalinda…where are you going?”

“Mamí, I need more tea. Nicky, um…come help me?”

“I’ve got it.” Lani stood and Rosalie shouted.

“NO!” Scaring herself at her own passion, she stopped and looked at the floor. “Lo siento, Mamí. I want Nicky, please.”

Nick waited for no one’s permission, he just got up to help his baby. He was so angry he couldn’t even see straight anyway. They should have talked. They should have discussed. This popping in and out with this man was messing up Ro and he knew it. Worse yet, he knew Lani knew it. He’d never seen her as irresponsible or unreasonable, but when it came to Neron…everything changed. And Nick was none too happy about it.

He scooped Rosalie up off the floor and she squirmed back down. “Don’t touch me right now.”

“Okay…”

They got to the counter and stood and stared at it. And then they stared at each other. “Don’t look at me.”

He reached for the pot and she pulled it away. He looked at her and she turned her back on him. Nick was losing his patience. “I can’t touch you. I can’t look at you and I can’t take the teapot. Why did you want my help?”

“Put me on the counter.”

“Without touching you?”

Rosalie stomped her foot and slammed the pot onto the counter, grimacing in fear that she’d cracked it already. “Just put me on the COUNTER!”

Nick squatted down to her and took hold of her shoulders, making her look at him square in the eye. “Rosalie, you’re angry. I get that, but you will not speak to me this way, you understand?”

“Please put me on the counter.” She never blinked. Just like her mother when she was mad. It was almost spooky. As he lifted her, she made one more demand. “…and then don’t touch me.”

He did as commanded and then leaned into her, both arms on either side of her small frame, both eyes trying to read the confusion that was pouring out of her every move, her every breath, her every attempt to speak and retreat in fear she’d fail. “I’m angry too, Ro.”

Regardless of her request to keep his hands off, he just couldn’t do it. He had to brush her arm, her cheek, something. Something to say, “I’m with you”, something to express the words that neither the English nor the Spanish language provided for the emotions they were both feeling. And then, he understood why he wasn’t to touch her.

She didn’t just cry. She sobbed. She fell apart. She snorted. She fussed. She tried to talk amongst her tears and hiccupped when her breath came faster than her words. She hated Neron. She hated Mamí. She hated tea. She hated everything.

He just let her go, hoping Lani could hear, praying she didn’t. He held her close, whispered in her ear, let her lead because for now anyway, her feelings were more important than his. She sniffed a few times, wiping her drippy nose on his sleeve and finally meeting her swollen brown eyes to his pained, darkening blue ones.

“’cept for Nicky. I dun hate Nicky.”

“You don’t hate Mamí either, Muñe.”

Ro had to consider that one for a moment, and sniffed and swiped her nose a few times to think it through. “No, I don’t hate Mamí. I just want him to go home now. He s’pposed to call first!”

“That’s what I thought too…”

Rosalie wrapped her chubby arms around Nick’s neck and snuggled in again. “I don’t want you to go to California.”

“I have to, baby. You’ll be okay.”

“Not if he keeps coming over. Nicky, she can’t make me like him!”

“No, and I don’t think she’s trying to do that.”

They stayed in the kitchen for a long time; Nick was surprised Lani didn’t come looking for them. He wasn’t surprised Neron didn’t have the decency to see what this was doing to his daughter and leave. Then again, why didn’t Lani make him leave? Why did she allow him to intrude again? As Nick pondered all of these questions and held onto his girl, Rosalie’s metered breathing became ragged again. He waited for her to talk, running his fingers through her curls, silently urging her on. “I scared.”

“What of?” He pulled back and took her face in his hands. He knew her answer. Somehow, he had to assure her.

“That…th…that…” Ro hiccupped again and growled in frustration. “That he’ll come over all the time when you’re gone and he’ll be my daddy. And…and then you’ll be gone. And not come back. And I’ll…and Mamí will…” Her tears started up again and she couldn’t finish. She just let him cup her face and wipe her tears away as quickly as he could.

“Muñe, I don’t know what will happen when I’m gone. I can’t tell you he won’t come over. That is totally Mamí’s decision.” She blinked and more tears poured out of her squinted eyes. “What I do know is this…” He took one of her hands and put it on his chest. “…my heart? Where you live in it? That won’t go away. You are a part me now, baby. Mamí, Neron, Ben, school, my job, time, nothing…nothing will ever change that.”

She continued crying quietly, only pulling her gaze out of his long enough to blink away more tears. “D…do you know how big your spot is in my heart, Nicky?”

“Not as big as yours is in mine.” He stood up full to show his assurance…and his smile.

“Nuh-huh…it’s bigger.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Nuh-huh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Nuh-…Nicky. You being silly now.”

He grinned and kissed her forehead, taking her face in his hands again. “No matter what, Ro? I love you. Nothing will ever change that, you got it?”

She nodded and forced a shy smile. “The tea’s in the blue pitcher.” She kissed his lips softly and watched him pour the juice. “…but he still can’t sit at our table.”

“Our table’s closed, isn’t it?”

“To him? Sí, se cierra.”

“You know…I need to go.” Neron tossed back the last of his apple juice tea and got up to put his cup on the miniature table where everyone else was seated. He was not welcome here today.

“Bye!”

Nick gently kicked Rosalie’s foot under the table and tried to hide his smirk in a very ineffective glare. Lani ignored them both, knowing full well once Neron walked out the door World War III was going to break out in her home. Not that his presence had been all that pleasant either. “Let me walk you out.”

“Bye!” Rosalie repeated, beating Nick to the punch by kicking him under the table - just forgetting the gentle part.

“OW! Ro…”

With a giggle and a kiss to Nick’s cheek, she followed Neron and her mother out leaving Nick to sit alone in the pink and lavender room with Dora and the remains of an interrupted afternoon.

“Fun party, huh, Dora?” He heaved a sigh and took on the role of butler to his princess’s tea party.

Which wouldn’t have been so bad had Lani not returned with yet another visitor.

“Nick…dude…”

Nick stood up full, the small loaded tray balancing on his left hand as he tried to bend over and push the chairs in without tipping everything over. “Ben…jesus…take this for me. I’m about to pour juice everywhere.”

Ben cracked up and took the tray, quickly passing it off to Lani lest he get girl germs. He had acquired enough of those from his sisters. “Where’ve you been? I never see you anymore.”

“Here mostly…” Nick finished picking up Rosalie’s dumped papers and got them onto the table and wrapped his arms around Ben, thumping his back, realizing how much he missed the kid.

“I’m just down the street, man…you need to come over.”

“Yeah, I know…I’m sorry. I’m takin’ off next week for a month too.”

“Benny!!!” Rosalie ran in from god knew where and almost knocked Ben onto his backside. “You don’t come see me anymore.”

Nick raised an eyebrow at Ben, smug at the teen’s own point of neglect. “Uh-huh…talk to me about livin’ up the street…”

“Shut up.” He squatted down to Rosalie and made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. “Guess what, Ro…Amy and Liz have the castle stuff set up and they wanted you to come over and play.”

“The castle!!! Mamí? Can I go to Benny’s house?”

Lani had been standing in the doorway, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in her own home, unsure of much of anything. “Yeah, sure…you rode your bike here, didn’t you, Ben?”

“Yeah, I’ll walk her back then get the bike when I bring her home.”

Lani nodded her okay, silently wondering if these boys truly had that good of a connection or if luck was just on her side. Or the devil. She couldn’t decide which. She knew the conversation that awaited her and Nick was not going to be a pleasant one. She could feel it in the air, see it in his eyes and sense it in her heart. Not pleasant at all.

Ben picked up Rosalie and tossed her over his shoulder. “Wait! I need shoes!”

Nick found her tennis shoes and slipped them on, tying them upside down as Rosalie giggled and kicked, blood rushing to her head. “You be good, Muñe.” He tickled her sides and pushed them out of Rosalie’s room, stopping Ben for one more thing. “What’s up tomorrow? Got anything?”

“Nope…”

“I’ll pick you up for lunch. Just you and me, okay?”

“Yeah, man…yeah.” Ben put the wiggly worm down and told her he’d meet her outside taking a moment for rare sentimentality. “I miss you.”

“Yeah…I miss you, too. Tomorrow will just be us…like old times.”

Ben went for the hug first and this time no backs were slapped in manly discomfort. It was time to catch up with each other. Remind each other about being bad. About being good. About becoming men.

Lani clicked the front door closed and stood, staring at the knob, the grain of the wood of the door, the small layer of dust that had collected on top of the dead bolt lock. The urge to reopen it and run out, never stopping until her body gave out was an overwhelming one. Good thing she hated to run.

She finally heard Nick shift behind her and knew she couldn’t put this off one second longer. It would just be easier if she knew exactly what “this” was. Before turning to him, she took the first step at figuring it all out.

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

“Tell that to Ro.”

His anger was so stinging cold, it burned through her back straight to her heart. Had she looked down, she could have sworn she’d see singed threads of fabric at her chest. With a deep breath, she finally turned to meet her accuser. “I’m telling you.”

Nick dug into his pocket and jingled his keys. Now he was the one fighting the urge to walk out, but he knew if he did, he’d be doing more damage than good. Leaning his backside against the back of the overstuffed chair, he finally resigned himself to be as honest as he could be…to take the risk of hurting Lani. Of saying things he shouldn’t. He just knew that things couldn’t continue on this way. “Thank you, but she needs to be your concern now.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“Honestly, I’m not so sure.”

“What!? How dare you!?”

Nick stood and pulled the keys he’d never released out of his pocket and flipped them around to hold onto the remote lock. “Just forget it, Lani. You do what you have to do.” He brushed past her to leave, but her hand made it to the door knob first, knocking his away, the thought of seeing him disappear right now actually worse than the thought of having this conversation.

“No. You are not going to shut this down, Nick. Talk to me.”

His eyes fired rage into hers. “You really have no idea, do you?”

She knew. Somewhere inside of her she knew. She just didn’t expect Nick to know. Didn’t like the idea that he was as tuned in to Rosalie as he was…that she suddenly felt like an outcast in her own family. “I’m not stupid, Nick. I know. But I want to hear what you have to say to me.”

“Will it make any difference?”

Not having an answer for that, Lani headed into the kitchen and started loading the dishes from their tea party into the dishwasher. Some party. It was crashed, ruined and basically destroyed. “So, what took you guys so long out here?”

Nick came in to help, but Lani yanked a cup from his hand and loaded things up herself. “Ro was upset.” He tried again and was met with the same resistance. With a growl, he walked around the counter and planted himself on a bar stool. “Lani, don’t you see!?”

“I just don’t know what else to do.”

“You always know what to do with the kids at the center – why can’t you see what’s going on with your own child?”

She slammed the last mug onto the counter. “I can see fine.” And what she saw was that she was going in this blindly. As a parent, she had no clue. It wasn’t the same as being a social worker. “It’s just that…pat, book-learned answers aren’t so easy when it’s your own kid.”

“That shouldn’t be news to you, Lani…”

“Then maybe I’m just a big fool.” She angrily grabbed the mug and slammed it into the dishwasher, slamming the door closed, slamming everything she could.

“Oh, give me a break.” He watched her slam and crash around, amazed at the woman before his eyes. This was not the Lani he fell in love with. She always knew what to do, how to handle a situation, especially where her daughter was concerned.

“So, since you seem to have all the answers, Mr. Carter…how ‘bout filling me in.”

“Fine, here’s a thought. How ‘bout just quit giving Neron free reign over your life, huh? There are legal ways to take care of this.”

“How do you just tell a man he can’t see his child?” She continued slamming around, getting meat out of the freezer, tossing it into the microwave to defrost, opening and closing cabinets for no reason…at least to Nick’s eyes for no reason.

“I don’t know, Lan… I don’t see how this is any different from any other unfit parent you deal with.”

“Unfit? Who’s to say he’s unfit?”

“HE FUCKING LEFT YOU!!!” Nick’s voice echoed through the house and he got up from the stool fighting every urge within himself to go over and shake Lani. Instead, he paced.

“But now, he’s back.”

Her calm angered him more. Was he jealous? Was he truly concerned for Rosalie? Why did she seem so flippantly okay with this when just weeks ago she seemed ready to tell the man to buzz off? “Maybe he’s not back for Rosalie.”

“Oh, you think you got this all figured out, huh?”

“Lani…dammit, no I don’t. I haven’t a fucking clue, but it just seems to make sense. He sees you on TV with me, comes and warns you…disappears for a few months, hangs around downright stalking us, and then BAM. Shows up to be the sweet little Christmas Elf. He can’t even respect your simple request that he call first so Rosalie can be prepared. He’s obviously not in this for her.”

Lani finally stopped her frantic work of dinner and watched the man she loved, the man she trusted more than any man on the planet, pace and fret and worry and steam. But now, he’d questioned her mothering skills and while he might have had a point, she couldn’t overcome her pride. Not yet anyway. “Why does he threaten you so much?”

Nick stopped in mid-step and spun around, feeling like he was looking at Lani for the first time in his life. This had to be a stranger standing in front of him.

“The question is, Lani…why does he threaten you?”

Her lame attempt at strength deflated as she dumped a stirring spoon into the sink and turned the burner down on the stove. If anything edible came out of this meal, it’d be a miracle. She left the food to simmer and walked into the living room, not even looking at Nick as she passed him. She slipped into the overstuffed chair, wishing it would just swallow her up.

Nick waited for a response. A sound. A dismissal. Anything. But all she did was walk by him, turn her back on him and hide in the chair. She didn’t even open up enough to pull her hair out from her back as it got trapped against the chair. He approached her, not to touch her or offer support, but maybe…to somehow get on her level. Figure out where she was. Because as it was, he was lost.

“He doesn’t threaten me.”

“What?” She’d said it so softly, he wanted to be sure.

“I said,” she looked up to him as he sat on the couch and had to look away. “He doesn’t threaten me.” She curled her legs up to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees.

Nick continued to wait. He didn’t believe her. She didn’t believe her. So, he let her sit in silence.

And then, after sitting, he couldn’t stand it anymore. “Lani, all I’m saying is that I wish you’d face what this is doing to Ro. She’s scared and confused. He needs to either be in her life so she can adjust or he needs to be gone.”

Lani lifted her head and rested her cheek on her knee, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion. “You come and go…”

Nick gaped. “Excuse me?”

“You’re not a consistent presence in her life either. Ever occur to you that that’s difficult on her as well?”

“Does she cry herself to sleep when I’m gone?”

“Well, no…but she is moodier.”

Nick raised an eyebrow at her lame attempt to turn this one around on him. “She knows I’ll be back, Lani. She knows. And so do you. Don’t pull this shit with me.”

“I’m sorry, Nick. But you seem to think this is so black and white and the truth is, you DO come and go…you’re leaving next week and will be gone for a month. I knew that going in, but it does cloud things for her.”

“It clouded nothing before that jackass showed back up.”

She turned her face back to her legs, closing off from the conversation and as far as Nick was concerned, from him entirely. He gave her a few more moments to say more, but when she didn’t, he got up and fetched his keys from where he’d tossed them on the counter.

“Know what, Lani…I’ve said what I needed to say. I’m goin’ home and tomorrow I’m goin’ out with Ben. If Ro wants me before Thursday night, you have my number.” He reached the door and turned the knob, amazed they had come to this point. “Otherwise…just…just let me be. I’ll come by Thursday to say good bye to her before my flight, okay?”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, Lani. I’m leaving. I can’t compete with this. When you’ve got it all worked out, you let me know.”

The door clicked behind him and Lani was left in icy, frozen silence.

“Well, howdy stranger. I thought you’d forgotten about us.”

“Hi, Patty. I’d never forget about you!” Nick kissed Ben’s mom on the cheek and stepped inside, surveying the disaster that had already become their new home.

“Heh, yeah…house is a bit of a mess. Five kids, you know.” She nervously started tidying up and Nick tried to ignore her, catching Amy’s eye from around the corner of the hall.

“I see you…”

“No!” Her giggle echoed against the walls and her blonde wispy curls popped back around the corner.

“I’m comin’ to get you…”

“No!” Her bare feet padded across the wooden floor and he snuck around the corner just as her diapered bottom disappeared into one of the bedrooms, swiftly followed by a shriek.

“GOTCHA!” The diapered bottom led back out, followed by stubby legs and a big brother trying to carry her over his shoulder and avoid getting nailed by her flailing feet. “Alright, Nick…get her now…tickle her good.”

The tickle fest began and Nick’s guilt at ignoring this family for the problems at Lani’s washed over him. He stopped tickling Amy with a kiss to her belly and sat back on his feet. “Where’s everybody else?”

On cue, Jack stepped out of his room, having been interrupted in a smashing Game Boy game by all of the commotion in the hallway. “Could you all be any louder?”

“Probably, want me to try?” Nick went back at Amy’s belly and Jack stepped over the pile of people shaking his head all the way. “When’d he become Mr. Serious?”

“No idea…you ready to go?”

“Tickle more!!!” Amy yanked Nick back down by the hem of his shirt and he gave her a few more moments of his attention. She was getting so big so fast. Where had he been?

“Okay, sweetie…we gotta go. Go tickle Jack. He seems grouchy.”

The boys watched her take off and got up, brushing their knees of the grit from the floor while Ben avoided Nick’s glance as best as he could. “Lemme get my sketch pad. Wanna show you some stuff.”

Once on their way, Nick fell silent, mulling over his previous day, wondering what was going on in the Casey house to get it to such a disastrous state so quickly, worrying about leaving Lani and Rosalie in less than a week and yet not really wanting to go deal with what he’d left there. Maybe this month away was the best thing. Carrying everyone else’s burdens was for the birds.

“Where we goin’?”

“Huh? Oh, um…how ‘bout Gameworks? Haven’t been there in awhile.”

“Sounds good. I feel the need to shoot at some aliens or something anyway.”

“You and me both.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as Nick hit the highway, both of them happily leaving their cares back in Ruskin. Yeah, so they were only miles north. Tonight anyway, it felt like miles upon miles upon miles and they both welcomed it.

With a pizza on order, they sat back and soaked in the noises and sites around them. Ben shoved his sketch pad across the table, knocking Nick out of a strange trance as it hit his elbow. “Dude. Where are you?”

“Eh, sorry. I’m…” He opened the notebook and blinked in surprise. Someone had been honing their craft. “Christ, Ben…”

“Yeah…I’ve been drawin’ a lot lately. Ron got me into anime and manga and stuff. I love it.”

“You’re good at it too. Who are some of these people?”

Ben educated Nick on the fine details of his favorite new hobby. Drawing, manga, story telling through art. “I’m having trouble with hands tho’, so I have ‘em hidden in pockets or under big sleeves or something.”

“Hands are a bitch.”

“Yes, yes they are. Eyes can be too. I mean, EVERYthing is in the eyes, you know?” Ben let Nick flip through the pages, proud of his work, proud of how much he’d improved and happy he’d kept this little surprise from Nick until he had enough stuff he could confidently show off.

“Yeah, but body language says a lot too and you’ve got that down. Ben…this stuff is amazing.”

“Thanks. Will, um…will you look at something for me?” Ben took the book and flipped to the back of it, sliding it back across the table.

Nick looked down and blinked again, amazed at the emotion he saw jumping from the page. He didn’t know the characters, didn’t even care who they were, but it was a teenaged boy and a teenaged girl…obviously caring deeply for one another. He was comforting her, holding her, her hair blowing in a gentle breeze. Vague nuances of background scenery filled the page and lyrics to a song that Nick didn’t recognize decorated the top corner adding even more poignancy to the picture.

“I wanna finish it up, shading, maybe a little color, yanno…and then give it to Erin for Valentine’s Day. Is it…I mean…is it too much?”

“She’ll love it, Ben…get it framed up real nice.”

“Yeah…I suck at words, but…” Ben took back his sketch book and looked over his work, touching the drawn face of the girl as though it was Erin.

Nick just watched, missing Lani’s face at his fingertips. “I get that.” Her voice, her hair, her smile, her daughter. It hadn’t even been 24 hours, but he knew that when he saw her next, nothing would feel the same. “I can’t seem to find the right words myself lately.”

Ben pulled himself from his own thoughts and met Nick in the middle of his own. “Maybe words aren’t what you need right now.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Thanks for lettin’ me spend the night.”

“No problem. It’s been too long.” Nick tossed a bag of chips onto the couch and dug between the cushions for the remote.

“Will you be able to wake up enough to drive me to school?”

“Eh, my eyes will be open anyway.” Tossing himself onto the couch next, Nick kicked his shoes across the room and slammed his feet up on the coffee table. “Open those chips, dude.”

Ben fumbled with the bag and stopped, looking up at Nick with a snide smirk. “You do realize that I’ll be able to drive myself in less than a year.”

“You do realize that I do not want to hear that?”

“Hey now…I thought you said you were gonna be there when I learned how to drive.”

“And I will. Never said I wanted to think about it tho’.” Chuckling at Ben’s inability to open the bag, Nick offered a smirk of his own. “Need some help?” The bag sprung open and chips flew out, some landing right on Nick’s lap. “Thanks…air mail.”

They ate in temporary silence, Nick finally flipping the stereo on not particularly wanting to hear every crunch, munch and lick coming from their salt-fest. Besides, the music could drown out his thoughts, Ben’s thoughts and make them feel smaller so nothing seemed quite as insurmountable as it always did in the silence.

“So, what’s up at home?”

Ben crunched down on a chip and shot a look of distaste to Nick. He didn’t want to think about home. “Same shit.”

“Like?”

“Like Mom’s never home and when she is, she’s just lumpin’ around. Kitty and I are doing everything…”

Nick raised an eyebrow at Ben, remembering how un-everything the living room had looked. “Everything, huh?”

“Okay, so not everything. How’s this? If it gets done? Kitty or I did it. Or Jack. He cooks sometimes, but Kitty has to help. We do laundry, bathe Amy, remind Liz to do it, make everyone do their homework…it’s like Mom has left the building.”

“Darren?”

Ben shrugged and found a skin snag to pick at around his finger nail. “Probably.”

“You think she’s druggin’ again?”

“I dunno, man. I don’t think so. I just think…” Ben sighed and got up to dig through Nick’s DVD collection. “I think she’s depressed again? But she’s supposed to be taking something for that…I just want my mom back.”

“I know the feeling…”

Ben pulled out some obscure slasher flick and finally looked up at Nick. The darkening blues in their eyes showing off the sadness there. “Yeah, it’s not good, is it?”

“I’m just stayin’ the hell away. You still goin’ down for spring break?”

“I’m supposed to, yeah. Why? You think I shouldn’t?”

“I dunno, man. I wouldn’t wanna be down there, but I’d get sucked into it. None of their games should touch you.” Nick took one last chip and wadded the bag closed. Closing the conversation he started would be nice, too.

“Aaron and I were just hoping to spend a lot of time out on the water. Maybe drive down to the Keys for a few days…”

“Sounds good. You need a getaway anyway. Just be careful, okay?” Nick got up and headed to the kitchen. “Drink?”

“Yeah.” Ben joined him and hiked himself up on the counter, opening the cabinet for Nick to toss the chips in. “Be careful?”

“Aaron knows lots of ways to get into trouble. I dunno if living with dad’s making it better or worse.”

“Can’t be any worse than home is now.”

“Yeah, Ben. It can be. Trust me. I don’t know what your mom’s doing or not doing, but whenever she gets her head back on straight, she loves you guys. She just gets messed up sometimes.”

Ben leaned his head back onto the cabinet and closed his eyes. Nick was right. It was just so hard to care about something when you didn’t see your mom caring about anything either. He was sick of being the token Dad in the house. The idea that he could go off and play and just be a 14 yr. old guy was more appealing than he could imagine. “I just need a break.”

“And you’ll get it.”

“I also want Darren to go away.”

“Is he hanging around all the time now?”

“All the time? Nah.” Ben hopped off the counter and grabbed his drink, heading back to the couch and hopefully a mindless movie. “But more, yeah. Wants Amy to call him ‘Daddy.’ Dickhead.”

“Jesus, what the fuck is in the water down here?”

“Neron?”

“Yep. Keeps poppin’ in whenever he feels like it. Ro’s all fucked up about it.”

“Miss Romero’s letting that go on?”

Nick took a swig of his pop and belched. “Yup. And I’m done playing games.”

“That’s not right, man. Doesn’t sound like her either.”

“She’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. But so do I. And tonight, I gotta watch a bad horror movie.” With another belch, he kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and knocked Ben in the arm with his can of pop. “Hit play.”

“I can call you at lunch and we’ll eat together, okay?”

“Yep. You eat lunch and I’ll eat breakfast.” Nick gave Rosalie an Eskimo kiss and swiped a lick of icing from her cinnamon bun.

“Eat your own icing, Nicky…” Ro pointed to the drips on Nick’s plate and moved her own plate away from the thief.

“Mom, she’s not sharin’ with me…” Nick put on a fake pout and looked up to Lani who was too preoccupied to have even noticed their silliness. Kicking her softly under the table, Nick tried again. “Mooommmm…”

“Huh?” Lani took one look at Nick and Rosalie’s posture and faces and shook her head. “Ben, what am I going to do with them?”

“You’re askin’ the wrong guy. I’m about to snag Ro’s bun too if she doesn’t hurry up and eat it.”

The airport was uncharacteristically empty for 8 am on a weekday, but this particular table was grateful for the quiet. The week had been uncomfortable at best, Nick stopping by or calling primarily to check in with his Muñe, not really spending much time with Lani. He was too angry and confused and she was too stubborn to cave to Nick’s requests simply because he wanted her to.

So, here they sat, killing time eating cinnamon buns and avoiding the uncertainty that faced them. One month apart was something they’d done before. It was something that, while frustrating and lonely, they had become somewhat accustomed to. But this time, for the first time, geographical miles weren’t the only miles that would separate them. The chasm between their hearts seemed almost insurmountable.

And to Ben’s eyes…seemed stupid. He couldn’t believe how stubborn both Nick and Lani were being. Oh, they were being polite and loving in front of Rosalie, but he didn’t miss the fact that they barely touched or looked at one another. That the fire of passion that used to dart from their eyes in the name of love had a new name and feeling. Resentment. Animosity. Polite friendliness for the ‘kid’.

Adults. The dumbest of the species. Ben was convinced.

“How much longer, Nicky?”

Nick looked at his watch and sighed. “I’ll need to board in about 15 minutes.”

Rosalie’s sigh matched Nick’s as did Lani’s. When their eyes locked, Lani quickly began picking up everyone’s plates, even snatching Ben’s out from under his final bite. “We’d better head to the gate then.”

As she walked away to toss out the trash, Ben knocked Nick’s hand out from under his chin. “Dude. You guys are being retarded. Would you fix this before you board that plane?”

“You got an idea how, oh wise one?”

“Just kiss her, Nicky. Your kisses always take my sad away.”

And with her input of worldly wisdom, Rosalie hopped off her chair and ran over to her mother, jumping up into her arms and whispering something in her ear that put the first smile on Lani’s face that Nick had seen since they picked him up over an hour prior.

“Nick and his healing kisses. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Ben made retching noises and Nick smacked him upside the head. “You’re getting out of school for this, dude…you’d better be nice.”

The girls joined their boys and Nick dumped his bag onto Ben’s shoulder, wrapping his arm around Lani and tickling Rosalie’s side. She squirmed down and grabbed onto Ben’s hand, somehow intuitively knowing that her Mom and Nick needed as much alone time as they could muster in these final minutes before his departure. Lani rested her head on Nick’s shoulder as they walked, saying nothing, saying much.

Before they knew it, they had arrived at security and Nick was being asked for his i.d. Not ready to let go yet, Nick walked them to the side unhooking from Lani long enough to fold Ben up into his arms. “When I get home, we’ll do more, okay?”

“Yep…either that or I’m gonna quit mowin’ your lawn.”

“Deal.” They ‘man-slapped’ each other’s backs and Nick picked up Ro, standing her on a bench so they could be a little more eye to eye. “You take care of Mamí for me. And be nice to Neron.”

Rosalie took a deep breath and conceded. “I’ll be nice. But, you have to call at bedtime and sing me to sleep sometimes.”

“Who’s gonna sing me to sleep?”

“You’re a grown up…you don’t need songs.”

“I need you…”

“I’m right here, Nicky.” She jumped up into his arms and hugged as tight as she could, her curls tickling Nick’s neck and ears, the squeeze of her legs around his abdomen making him warm inside. “Te amo.”

“Te amo, Muñe.” He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her forehead and finally her lips before he put her on the floor and popped her on the behind as Ben called to her.

“Come on, kiddo…let’s go find a new Dora book.”

Nick’s heart raced as they disappeared into the magazine stand and then it triple-timed as he pulled his gaze from them and centered it into Lani’s doe-eyed stare.

“I didn’t want you to go like this.”

“I didn’t either, Lani.” When she looked away, he cupped her chin in his hand and brought her back to him. “We’ll make it. This just might be good timing. Let you sort stuff out.”

She nodded and collapsed in his arms, grateful for the fact that while closed off, he hadn’t locked up. She wouldn’t be able to bear the separation had he been ice cold. “I love you, Nick.” She pulled back and reached up on her tip-toes placing the gentlest of kisses on his lips. “Please never doubt that.”

“I don’t.” He didn’t think he did anyway. Looking into her eyes one more time, he tried to dig deep. To see the things that her actions and words couldn’t say. And he knew. There was no doubt needed. Just time.

“No Dora books!”

Rosalie’s announcement broke their solitude, but gave Nick another chance to snuggle with her. “You be good.”

“You fly safe.”

Nick’s kiss with Lani lingered more than it should have, a gruff male clearing his throat interrupting their moment. “You’re next, young man.”

“Oh, oh…yeah.” Nick grabbed his bag from Ben and showed his i.d., smiling shyly at the pilot who’d spoken to them. “Sorry.”

“What flight are you on?”

“Um…” Nick looked at his ticket, wondering what half of the numbers on it meant. “I’m goin’ to LA, um…1523.”

“Ah, that’s my flight.” The pilot turned back to Lani, Ro and Ben. “Come here, sweetie.”

Rosalie ran to the rope beside the gentleman and smiled her brightest smile when he crouched down to her. “I’m gonna take good care of your Daddy, okay, sweetie?”

Ro took a breath to correct him, but caught Nick’s eye as he silently shook his head. “Okay…you fly him home next month too?”

“Oh, I don’t know…but I’ll let them know to be extra careful, alright?”

“Alright.” Rosalie smiled at the pilot and then up at Nick. “Bye, Daddy. Call us when you get there.”

Nick blew her a kiss and tossed his bag onto the security belt, a million monumental thoughts racing through his mind.

“You’re a lucky man.”

“Yeah,” Nick looked back one more time and watched his family walk away, Rosalie’s head buried in her mother’s hair. “…yeah, I really am.”

“You eatin’ grape jelly on your toast?” Nick softly chuckled as Rosalie tried to talk around her sandwich. Her sandwich loaded with peanut butter and only a hint of grape jelly. It wasn’t home, but he could swear he smelled the garlic and spices Lani used to make her monthly batch of sofrito wafting through the phone. All the way to California. He missed them horribly.

“Yep…just put it on. You took a bite before me.”

“Dats cuz I’m hungry. Hurry up and eat.”

Nick crunched his toast extra loud and their breakfast/lunch meal time banter began, Rosalie telling him about her week in school and Nick telling Ro all the silly things the guys in the group had been doing. A week had passed since he left them at the airport, but it felt like at least three.

“Neron came by yesterday.”

“Yeah? What’d you do?”

“I beat him at Brainquest.”

Nick filtered his thoughts and reminded himself that she regularly beat anyone who was foolish enough to challenge her on it. She nailed the preschool questions and the adults had to pull on old school memories to get their answers right. But, dogging Neron for being stupid was too easy. “He’s not so smart, huh?”

“No. He can’t spell.”

“You okay with him being there?”

“I wish it was you.”

“I do too…” Nick swallowed his final bite and mentally hugged Rosalie. This officially sucked. “Okay, I’m done with my toast and eggs…is Mamí around?”

And so it went. Nick working his tail off, phoning and missing his girls and his girls searching for answers at home, when it was clear to everyone that their answer was in California. It just didn’t feel like much of an answer when it was so far away.

The truth was, Ro did handle Neron’s presence better when Nick wasn’t around. No competition for attention maybe? No pressure on anyone to outshine the other? Neither Lani nor Rosalie knew, but his visits didn’t seem all that bad anymore. And, they were coming more regularly.

“Go brush your teeth and I’ll be in.” Lani popped Ro on the behind and went to answer the door. Why the paper carrier didn’t bother to come to collect until after nine at night, she’d never know.

“Are we gonna call Nick tonight?”

“Tomorrow, baby. Remember?”

Rosalie bounded down the hall singing a made up song about “mañana” and Lani grabbed her checkbook before answering the door.

“Is it too late for a visit?”

“Ay mierda, Neron. Yes, it’s bedtime. And you didn’t call, dammit.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I just was out having a beer with the guys and…” He welcomed himself in, ignoring Lani’s stance to keep him on the porch.

“Come on in…” Lani sighed and closed the door behind him cursing her weak libido so many years before. “You don’t live here, you know.”

“I hadn’t noticed. Where’s Ro?”

“Brushing her teeth and then she is going to bed.”

“Can I…can I help?” His look went from sincere to menacing and back again, Lani never figuring out whether he truly wanted Rosalie or control. The signals shorted out constantly.

“It’s up to her.”

Ro conceded to allow him in her room, but Lani read, tucked, kissed and tickled. Neron could only watch and get her final ‘goodnight’ of the evening. As Rosalie rolled over clinging onto Dora, Lani lead him out, wondering why he was really there.

“What are you doing here, Neron?”

“I told you, I was having a beer and thought I’d stop by on the way home. Why? The boyfriend’s out of town isn’t he?”

“Where Nick is has nothing to do with why you can’t follow a simple request.”

“Lani, she’s my daughter. I’ve missed almost five years of her life.”

Lani simply sighed, sick of his redundant answers, sick of his consistent lack of concern, sick of her inability to take control of this situation. “You want another beer? Or are you going to give me a break and just leave?”

“Another beer sounds good…”

“Don’t get comfortable. You’re drinking it on the porch and leaving.”

Neron leaned up against the door and waited for her to return. He’d already had a few with his buddies, but one more shouldn’t make driving difficult. Especially if he took it nice and slow.

She came back with the bottle and tried to push him aside to open the door. “Pasa. En el porche!”

“Anda, Lani. Es noche fría.” He clinked their bottles together to try to distract her from the ridiculous notion of sitting outside when she had a perfectly fine couch inside. No, it’s wasn’t chilly, but he had other things in mind. “To second chances.”

She stepped back and said nothing, not drinking, just calculating. “I don’t think so, Neron.”

He took a swig anyway and set his bottle down on the small table by the door, making sure to brush up against Lani’s chest and breathe in her scent. His hand slid up her arm and moved her hair away from her neck and he whispered into its cove. “Anda, Mamí.” He softly kissed her neck and she stepped back.

“What are you doing?”

He stepped forward again brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Making up for lost time, Solana. I want to do it right this time.” He tried to kiss her again, but she stopped him, pushing him away, trying to lunge for the door to open it and get him out fast.

“You had your chance, now get out.”

His hand found the edge of the door before she got it too far open and it slammed shut, giving him a perfect angle to trap her there, going for her neck, what he knew full well was the perfect hot spot to get exactly what he wanted. “Mamí, Mamí…so angry…” His tickled kisses down her neck and felt her body easing into every touch of his lips. “…so passionate…”

A moan escaped from her lips as her hands found his chest. He feared she would push him away, but she didn’t; she only grabbed onto his shirt and opened her neck up more to him, her breathing increasing, her will weakening.

“Neron…please.”

“Please what…” He dared to leave the security of her delicious neck, kissing his way up to her face, her lips. “…tell Papí what you want.” He gave her no chance to answer as his mouth took hers full on, pressing her up against the door, reveling in the rekindled memory of her kiss, her touch, her body.

She gave into his kiss, even allowing his tongue to trace her lips and enter her mouth to circle and dance with her own. With a slip of an apparent weakened knee from his touch, she ducked out from under him and went to the overstuffed chair, leaning back on it as she raked her hands through her long, inviting hair.

“Lani?” He approached slowly, watching her sway her body in seduction, her hand trace down the roundness of her unbound breasts, just begging to be kissed and suckled right out of the flimsy nightshirt that she wore. Her eyes drew him closer and she stopped him with a simple lift of her hand.

“Wait right there. No closer.”

He did as asked, his throbbing erection tenting his pants in an almost embarrassing gesture. “What are you…”

Lani’s hand had made it’s way back up to her breast and was now cupping it, her thumb slowly bringing the nipple to a full, erect bud, her chocolate eyes darkening with desire and driving him wild. She licked her lips and hiked herself up onto the back of the chair making one and only one request of the man in her foyer.

“Take off your clothes.”

Neron’s eyes, among other things, bulged at her command. But he held himself still, not wanting to lose the upper hand of the situation. She was so hot, so sensual, so sure of herself. It’s what had attracted him to her so many years before. Her vulnerable weakness, both coming into play at just the right time. What had he been thinking to walk out on her just because she was a careless bitch who made a mistake big enough for the both of them? “You first, Mamí.”

“No, no…you’re in my house now. I want to watch…” She swiveled further onto the chair back, hiking her nightshirt up to give him a fuller view of her cappuccino cream thighs and the slightest peek of powder blue lace of her panties. “Go on…take off your clothes.”

The thought of feeling those thighs wrapped around him again, touching her roundness, tasting her…her…his shirt was off before he knew what had happened and he quickly kicked off his shoes so his pants could follow. As his pants fell to the floor and he reached back up to remove his boxers, she stood and told him to stop.

“Let me, Papí…” Her hands cupped his neck as her lips crashed into his for a brief, yet fiery kiss, ending with her lips trailing down his neck and onto his chest. She mumbled words of admiration and craving as she continued down his stomach and finally licked the trail of hair that led to his waistband. Her fingers tickled under the elastic and she slowly pushed them down, fully exposing his nakedness and his full intentions of the evening.

He stepped out of his boxers and pants and while at his feet, Lani scooped up his clothes and shoes, constantly looking up to him with a sultry gaze of desire and lust. She stood full with his clothes in her arms and kissed him again, swirling a free finger around a tattoo of a crucifix that decorated the left side of his chest. She took his hand and led him closer to the door, opening it as she breathed in the cool night air.

With one swift motion, she tossed his clothes out into the front yard, pushed him onto the porch in all of his naked glory, slamming and locking the door before one ounce of sense re-entered his head.

“LANI!!!!!! Chingate, puta!”

With a smile of satisfaction she stood full and flipped him off through the door, feeling victorious, betrayed, stupid, and…dirty.

Lani backed her truck into the street, blowing a kiss in thanks to Katy for coming over so she could escape. Run. Get the fuck out. She stilled before moving forward, trying to figure out exactly where she was going to go. A bar would be dangerous, and nothing else was open at this late weeknight hour. What she wanted to do was point the car northwest and drive to LA, but getting home by morning to relieve Katy wasn’t an option if she did that.

So, she did the next best thing. Cranking up her music, Lani tried to drown herself in the songs that played, embracing the Latin rhythms, reminding herself who she was, what she valued, what priorities weighed heavily in the balance of her life. How had she got everything so damned jumbled up? What happened? When did it happen?

Before her thoughts had completely birthed themselves into insanity, she was getting out of the car and punching in a garage door code she barely used, barely needed, hardly remembered. As soon as she opened the door to the house, the smell of him, of her love, her peace, her comfort wafted over her. She closed the door behind her and slid down its side, finally collapsing from what had happened that night, and all that had led up to it.

“Why can’t you be here, huh?” Her soft cries echoed in the empty house, even though she still found strength just in being in his home. How could she be so stupid?

“Miss Romero?”

Lani jerked at the voice and focused her eyes on the silhouette in the living room. “Ben?”

“Yeah, what are you doing here?”

“Um…” She stood and suddenly wished she’d thought to put on a bra before fleeing from home. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Yard work, hate home, took a shower and yeah…here I am.” He came closer, the back patio light brightening up the darkened rooms and illuminating her tear stained face. “You’ve been crying.”

Lani wiped her eyes and went into the kitchen, fumbling through drawers for a washrag. “Yes, yes I have. I thought I’d be alone here.”

“I’m sorry…”

“No, hon. Don’t be, it’s just…” She found a cloth and quickly ran it under cold water wondering what to say to the boy. Their relationship was so different from any other of her kids. They had a friendship that went beyond the center, beyond former client and social worker. Beyond anything she’d experienced with the youth of her job. But the truth remained. He was a 14 yr. old teenager. He didn’t need or probably want her problems right now. She dabbed her eyes with the wet rag and turned to him, trying to put on a bright face. “It’s been a rough night. I miss Nick.”

“Yeah, that’s why I hang around here too sometimes.” They stood in silence until the honking of a horn interrupted. “Uh, that’s Kitty…you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah…” Lani turned her back to Ben looking out over Nick’s patio into the gulf. It was a calm, peaceful night, the rare, small peak of a wave breaking through the dark. It would have been helpful had a hurricane been coming in. It would have mirrored her emotions so much more accurately.

“Are you sure?”

The tears built up and overflowed again and Lani sunk her face into her hands as she shook her head no.

He tentatively approached and softly put his hand on her shoulder, not sure what to do how to do it, how to help, if he even wanted to help. “Do you want me to stay?”

Lani simply nodded her head and sniffed, offering a weak apology. “I’ll get you home.”

“Lemme tell Kitty. Just…just, um…” He walked to the front door backwards, stumbling over his own shoes and never taking his eyes off of her. “…just hang on, okay?”

Ben took off outside and Lani gathered her wits enough about her to go into Nick’s room to find a different shirt to wear, realizing that what she had on was virtually see through. Besides, it would feel almost as good as having Nick hold her, his scent wrapped around her body in the only way possible now. It had to help.

Ben locked the door behind him and punched in the security code, letting his eyes adjust to the lights Lani had turned on.

“Is she angry?”

“Who? Kitty? Nah…she’s worried about you, though.” He had to move out of the foyer sometime but he truly didn’t know what to do. Miss Romero was always the one with the answers, not the questions. It turned his security, what little he felt he had anyway, upside down. “Do you want something to drink?”

“That’d be nice.” She finally turned from her spot on the couch and offered a weak smile. “I’m not going to keep you up too late, am I?”

“No school tomorrow…comp time or something for conferences.” Ben dug in Nick’s pantry for some pop, reminding himself to grab a few bottles of water before he came next time. Nick never had a stocked kitchen. Even when he was home.

“Oh yes, of course…the center will be a mad house.”

“Want me to come help?”

“You don’t have plans?”

“I’ll just bring Erin with me. She likes the little ones.”

“She’s good with them. They like her too.”

Ben couldn’t hide his smile of pride as he handed Solana her drink. “They’re smart kids.”

“Did she like your picture?”

He blushed and took a large gulp of his drink, averting Solana’s gaze as he took a seat on the floor across the room from her. “Yeah, she did…I made her cry.”

“Aw, well…girl’s do that when they’re in love.”

“Is that why you were crying tonight? You just miss Nick so much?”

“Um…no, not really.” Now Lani was the one gulping and averting wishing Ben hadn’t sat right in front of the patio door. She needed the view out back to be a place to retreat if she got uncomfortable, but there he was, not giving her an escape.

Ben noticed her hands trembling and realized that some of her tears were ones of fear. The light went on his head. “Neron showed back up, didn’t he?”

Her silence answered and she suddenly wished she had asked him to put a little Bicardi in her coke. Numb sounded good right now. “I don’t know what to do, Ben and…” she took another drink and stood to pace away her nerves. “…and I can’t dump this on you. I’m sorry. Maybe I should just take you home and go to bed myself.”

“You can dump anything on me, Miss Romero…I mean, I’m just a kid, but…I listen pretty good.”

She stopped pacing and looked down at him, at the hope in his eyes, the generosity in his heart…he reminded her so much of what Nick had to have been like at Ben’s age, she couldn’t erase the smile on her face. She sat back down and decided to start with questions…she surely had no answers anyway. “Do you ever just wish for a normal family? You know, storybook, Norman Rockwell stuff. Hard working dad, stay at home mom, smiling, happy brothers and sisters, a couple of pets, a white picket fence and a mini van?”

“Uh…I don’t think my storybook is the same as yours, but yeah. I wish for it all the time.”

“You don’t like a white picket fence?” She was grateful for the smile he’d already brought to her face. Maybe this was a good idea. Get some grasp of balance before she moved forward. Maybe with some balance she’d know what direction “forward” really was.

“Not so much…or a mini van, but yeah, I’d like a dad, sure.”

“It’s all I dreamt about as a little girl. I wouldn’t let Mamí buy me a new Barbie until she’d found another Ken to go with the old one. It made her so angry.”

“Why?”

“Have you been down the Barbie aisle lately? There’s probably 20 Barbie’s to every one Ken. I drove her nuts.”

“I can so see Rosalie doing that.” He chuckled at the thought and rested his head against the cool glass of the patio door. This was nice. Miss Romero, while angrier than a hornet at him at times, always treated him with respect. He loved her so much. He loved Nick so much. It only seemed logical that they would pair up and complete the jumbled mess that was his life.

“Don’t give her any ideas. She’s already ready to write the creators of Dora and complain that we never see or hear about her Papí enough.”

“Makes you think there are more families without a dad than there are with one.”

“We’re surely not alone…and I guess…” Solana sighed and put her glass on the coffee table, swirling it around against the grain of the wood. “…I guess I’ve wanted that storybook so much I just got stupid.”

“Why do you say that? You’re never stupid.”

“Ha. You’re too sweet…and stupid.” She caught his smile and her heart lurched down to her stomach, desire to call Nick stronger than any amount of common sense. She had to keep talking. “Well for starters, I repeated the same pattern as my mother.”

“Not on purpose.”

“No, but not with a head on my shoulders either.”

“Well, unless that A in health was a fluke, last I learned, you didn’t become a mother totally on your own.”

“No, but had I not been so focused on the story, I’d have seen that Neron wasn’t going to stay.”

“You think? I mean, really…how could you have known?”

She didn’t have an answer. Her only insight was hindsight, of which she didn’t have access to 5 years ago when she got pregnant. “Might have helped had we been married.”

“Husbands leave too, Miss Romero.”

She ignored his wisdom for now. “Okay, we’re not at the center. Call me Lani, huh?”

“Right. Lani. Okay.” He took a deep breath and shook his head, a bit surprised this whole conversation was even happening. “You’re just…you’re Miss Romero to me.” Ben finished his drink and stifled a belch, giggling when Lani decided to let one rip to relieve him the potential embarrassment.

“I’m Miss Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass, is what I am.”

“No you’re not…you’re just confused…although I’m not sure what about, to be honest with you.”

“I always thought he’d come back, Ben. Always wished for it. We’d be the family I always dreamt about, you know? In the mean time, I put up a big, strong front, decided to be the best mom in the world to my baby, do all the right things for other messed up families, all the while going to bed every night dreaming that I’d wake up the next morning and Neron would be laying there next to me with some sensible, forgivable explanation to why he left.”

“And that never happened.”

“No. Yes. See, that’s where I’m all screwed up.”

“Miss Rom-…L-…Lani…do you know why he left?”

“He left because…because…” she sighed and looked at the blonde boy in front of her, hating that she still had no answers. “…I have no idea.”

“So why’s he back?”

Lani tossed herself back onto the couch, pulling a pillow over her face, knowing the answer to this one now. Hating that she’d been so stupid as to have missed it, to have allowed it. Ben, however, did not need to know. “I have no idea.”

Ben had to chuckle at her. This wasn’t Miss Romero, was it? This was Lani. The true, real Lani. Confused, scared, human and still…the loving Miss Romero who helped put his life back together. “But you have Nick now. I don’t get…”

“Yes, I have Nick and I mean,” she tossed the pillow to her feet and turned on her side so she could see this sweet boy who was listening to her ramble and stumble through probably the most complicated thing she’s ever faced. “…he’s…he’s wonderful and my life would just suck if he wasn’t in it, but…he’s not Ro’s dad.”

“So what!?”

“Ben…I’m sorry, hon, but I don’t expect you to understand this.” Of course not. She surely didn’t. One minute she was going to kick Neron to the curb and the next he’d show up at her door again and the fog of the storybook would creep in and Nick would be a blur and common sense would hide in the mist and confusion became the only sure thing. Fairy tales were never this complicated as a child.

“I understand perfectly. You want the storybook family. Neron coming back gave you that promise again.”

“It sounds so stupid, but I guess so…”

Ben got up and walked over to Lani, holding out his hand for her. “Sit up…I want to show you something.”

She took his hand, curiosity written all over her face. She followed him into the hallway, past Nick’s studio and business office and squinted as Ben flicked the light on.

As her eyes adjusted, they settled on the portrait taken at Christmas over a year before.

Pointing to it, Ben asked, “What is this?”

“That’s our portrait, silly.”

“Uh-huh…and what’d you call it? Why is Nick in it?”

She smiled and looked to Ben, loving how much he’d grown up since the photo had been taken. Physically, emotionally…he was becoming a man. A good man. “I called it a family portrait.” She reached up and brushed Rosalie’s leg dangling off Nick’s leg as she sat on his lap. “It wasn’t a family portrait unless Nick was in it.”

“Bingo. We’re family now, Lani. Rosalie already has a family.”

She wrapped her arm around Ben and stared at the picture a bit longer, taking in everyone’s face, but mostly gazing in Nick’s eyes, seeing all of the love there. Love for her. Love for Rosalie. Love for the Casey’s. And love for the love they had yet to share when they had posed for the family portrait, a love that was only a hope, a dream away.

“See, Miss Rome-…” he leaned his head on hers, stunned he was already getting so much taller than her. “…Lani. All the characters are in place. Now we can write our own storybook.”

“So are you ever afraid?” Lani turned the engine off and slid her seat back so she and Ben could talk in his driveway. It was one of her favorite ways to talk. Something about the darkness, the closeness in a car, the way movement echoed in the small confines of the seats. She was never sure why, but some of her most heartfelt conversations came at the end of a nice evening sitting in someone’s driveway, neither party wanting the time to end.

“I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m 14.” Ben chuckled and mentally ran through his fears. The list wasn’t long, but the monsters sometimes seemed huge.

“I mean of this family stuff. With Darren. With…just not knowing. Not having a dad around.”

“I’m not afraid of Darren for me, no. He can’t hurt me again. I worry that he’ll hurt Liz or Jack or…Am-…” Ben shook his head, unwilling to even complete the thought. “Is that what you mean?”

“Sort of…you said something that was good. ‘All the characters are in place’. They’re not all in place at your home. You know it, I know it and I think your mama knows it too.”

“Yeah, she’s got to…somewhere inside she has to know.” Ben looked down and picked at a hang nail. “I guess I just don’t look at it like a sports team. You don’t have to have all the players to make it work.” Pulling on fresh flesh now, he stopped and rubbed his thumb on his jeans. He had to break that habit. “It’d be nice, you know. but just to have someone holding that spot down…it screws up the works more than it helps.”

“My mom was really good at spot holders. Was like a damned revolving door.”

“Did you like any of them?”

“Yeah, there was one. I thought he was going to be my daddy. He loved me. I really believe he did. And he loved Mamí too.” She sighed at his memory. “Ramón.”

“But Ramón left?”

“Yeah. I was too young to know why. But he just took off and never said goodbye to me.”

Ben sucked on the side of this thumbnail, finally pulling the final tab of skin off with his teeth, growling at the blood that took its place. “Nick’s not goin’ anywhere, Lani.”

“Eh, there aren’t any guarantees, Ben. I mean his whole life is one big revolving door. His career is just…I mean, group, solo, group. What if they blow up again?”

“What if they don’t?”

“That’s my point, Ben…no guarantees. I have no idea where he’ll even BE in 6 months, no less if I’ll be a part of it.”

“No, but you know - just like my mama - that Neron isn’t what will give you guarantees. Just because he fathered Ro doesn’t make him a sure thing.”

“Yeah, I do know that. Finally.” She turned to him and took his hand in hers, softly kissing the small wound he’d made on his thumb. “Thank you.”

He blushed. At the kiss, at the embarrassment of his new biting habit, at the fact that it was well past midnight and he was in Miss Romero’s car having a heart to heart. He should be in playing video games. But he didn’t want to leave. The security she’d given him all of these years had returned and he always felt it sliding away as he walked into his home. “You know, I’ve never seen anything like what you and Nick have. And I know it’s out there, but it’s never been in my life…I just have to believe it’s the real thing.”

“I guess I do too, huh?”

“You do believe it. You just have to throw that old story out and get ready to write a new one.”

“Wanna come in for a drink?”

“Nah, thanks, Nick. I need to hit the sack.” Howie slapped his band mate’s back and continued down the hall to his own room. “Don’t forget to call Lani!”

“Yes, Howard. Thank you.” He slipped his key into the slot and swore when the light stayed red forbidding him entrance into his room. It had been a long day and he just wanted to hear Lani’s voice, mindlessly surf through the movie channels and fall asleep when the plots got too dull. Which would be pretty instantaneously the way he felt.

“Need help?”

“Go away, D. I’m just tired.” One more try and he got it. “’Night…and, uh…keep it down tonight, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah…you’re just lonely and jealous.”

“Yes I am. Show some sympathy.” Nick didn’t even turn a light on before he kicked off his shoes and tossed his shirt somewhere near his closet, ready to curl up into bed with a sexy Latino voice and a bad B movie on the TV. It wasn’t home, but it would have to do. Home was yet a week away. He hoped Lani was able to stay awake and wait for his call given the extra hours between California and Florida.

By the time he hit the bathroom, he was down to his boxers, his socks, pants and belt having been strewn on the floor all the way in. He relieved himself and came out mumbling, singing, some combination of both, his mind not having totally shut down yet from the day’s work. As he bent over to his mini bar he grabbed his cell and flipped it open, finally close to the voice he had been waiting for since yesterday.

“Don’t dial that phone, mister.”

“Huh?” Nick snapped up, slammed the mini bar closed and almost dropped his bottle of beer. Before he could fall over in fear, two warm arms wrapped around him and long, wavy hair brushed against his chest. “Lani???”

“Hi. I thought you might like a visitor.”

“Are you kidding me!? Oh my god!” He put down his bottle and picked her up covering her face with kisses, tangling his hands in her hair, walking them both to the bed as her legs wrapped around his waist. In between breaths and kisses and stumbles over his scattered clothing he tried to get a grip on what was happening. “You’re,” kiss, “…here,” kiss, “…you came to see,” kiss, “…me. Lani,” kiss, “…oh my god, I love you!”

They fell onto the bed, limbs tangling, clothes and boxers flying, tongues dancing on body parts they swore they’d forgotten, and finally, quickly but passionately bodies joining as one, any exhaustion falling by the wayside as their love engulfed the darkness of the room. Their movements would slow as they stopped to take in the reality that yes, they were together. Yes, she was here, yes, she took the plunge and got on that airplane, yes, they were where they belonged. As their realization hit that ‘together’ meant ‘home’, their passions would take over and they’d get lost in the moment again. Her body so soft and round, moving so sensually beneath him. His body so broad and solid, folding into her as she raked her nails down his back grabbing onto his ass, pulling him in closer and harder and faster and more and more.

Yes, this was going to end too soon and no neither of them cared because yes, it felt so good they’d probably have to do it again and yes, her eyes melted him, yes, his hands played a symphony over her skin, yes they were so perfect together, and yes, yes, yes!

Lani continued to run her nails along Nick’s back as he let his weight rest on her in sated, exhaustive bliss. As he slipped out from her warm, contracting folds, they moaned at the separation. “Too bad you couldn’t stay there forever.”

“Mmm…no kidding.” He fell to her side kissing her shoulder as he fluffed a few pillows under his head and rested, keeping his legs entwined in hers, his fingers tracing imaginary pictures on her abdomen and arms. “Hi.”

“Hi…”

“So, uh…” He swallowed and tried to get his breathing back into rhythm. “What made you fly all the way out here?”

“I was horny.”

Nick laughed and fell on his back landing on someone’s underwear and yanking it out from under him so he could smack her with it. “Is that all I am to you? Your sex toy?”

“I thought you’d be okay with that.” She sat up and gently tugged on a nipple ring, bending down to kiss it when instinctively pulled back. “I fly back in an hour.”

“You’re kidding, right…”

“Mmmm…” Her lips traveled down his tummy while she pretended to contemplate an answer. “What do you think?” Before she straddled him, she kissed his overly sensitive tip, licking off the last drop that clung there, giggling as he hissed almost in pain. Settling her weight on his thighs, she centered her gaze in his ready to take the next step in her life. With him. “What would you say if I told you we were staying ‘til you went home…we’ll be here all week?”

“We?”

“Yeah…Ro and Katy are in a room down a few floors.”

“No way…”

“Yes way. We got in around 3.”

“And you’re staying all week!?”

“If that’s okay, yeah.”

His answer was clear as he pulled her back down on top of him and ground his hips up into her, their lips crashing into another passionate dance. Pulling back and taking in her soft flesh, her mocha eyes, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, he tried to find his voice. “And I get you all night…all to myself?”

“All night. All yours”

The why’s of her arrival, the what-will-happen-if’s of her risk all disappeared as they melted into each other once again, more slowly, more deliberately, more lovingly than they had moments before. The sounds of their lovemaking rang throughout Nick’s suite, the pleasure of it rang throughout their bodies and souls, reminding Lani that Ben was right. The characters were all in place.

It was now time to write their own story.

Lani reached out to smack the alarm clock, instead clocking Nick on the nose, rudely waking him from his sleep.

“Ow! What the-??” Nick’s confusion won over his thrill at waking next to Lani, compounding when he realized the ringing was his room phone and not an alarm. “Did you arrange a wake-up call?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I wanted. Some moron to call and wake us up at the ass-crack of dawn.” She lazily raised two thumbs-up and flopped her arms back onto the mattress.

“Smart ass.” Nick groggily rolled over and answered the phone with a grunt. “What?”

“Buenos dias, Nicky!!! When can I come up and see you?”

“Muñe!!! You’d better get up here-…” Nick stopped when Lani sat up out of bed, her beautiful nakedness spilling out from under the sheets. “…uh…why don’t you give us half an hour or so?”

“How long’s that?”

“One Dora show. Can you wait that long?”

“Yeah!” Rosalie abruptly hung up the phone and Nick fell back into the bed glancing at the clock. It was 6 am.

“She’s still on Florida time, isn’t she?”

“Good guess…” Slowly stretching her body, Lani felt pleasantly rested and definitely ready for a shower. “We have time for a shower?”

“Take your pick. Nookie or a shower.”

“Nookie in the shower.”

“Deal…”

They’d barely dressed when Rosalie was pounding at their door, the whispered scolding of Katy almost as loud as Ro’s knocking.

“You two could wake the dead, you know that. They’re gonna kick me outta here.” Nick whipped the door open and looked down as a brown curly headed tornado walked into his room.

“That’s okay, Nicky. We have a room. You can come sleep with us.”

Nick scooped Rosalie up and thanked Katy for bringing his girls to him. “This is such a great surprise!”

Rosalie climbed up onto the couch, pulling Nick down with her. She started talking and Nick tried his hardest to pay attention without dozing. He was not used to being up, no less coherent at this hour. Today was supposed to be his late day, sleeping in, lounging around until mid-afternoon. Although, complaints were nowhere to be found. He had his girls, even if it was before God was awake.

Before Nick completely fell back asleep, Katy saved the day and told Rosalie it was time to go. They arranged to meet back up for dinner when Ro would move into Nick and Lani’s room giving Katy a room to herself and a bit of a vacation.

“What are you going to do today, Mamí?”

“I think I’m going to go to the studio with Nick. After we have our talk.”

“Oh, yeah…that talk. Can I come to the studio one day, too?”

Nick scooped Ro up and set her on his lap, tracing the ladybugs that decorated her shirt. “How ‘bout tomorrow? It’s a group session and you can meet all the guys.”

“Even Brian?????”

“Yes, even Brian.”

Rosalie sighed and hopped off the couch, walking half trancelike to the door. “I just love Brian.” She took Katy’s hand and began what would probably be a long-winded history of the boys…Rosalie style. “He’s a daddy now, you know.”

Nick kissed Ro’s cheek and closed the door behind them, chuckling when he heard her talking Katy into oblivion. “Okay, woman. What talk?”

“Well, yeah.” Lani smiled and rubbed her empty stomach. “How ‘bout we have it over breakfast? I’m starving.”

Nick tried to read her eyes and couldn’t quite decipher what he saw there. She was definitely still horny. She was nervous. She was still smiling though. “Should I be worried?”

“I don’t think so…only if you don’t get us room service real soon. I’ll start eating you.”

Nick raised and eyebrow and Lani sighed at her innuendo. “Food, Carter. I want food.”

And food she got. Fresh berries, an assortment of cereals, ice cold milk, juice and of course, a fresh pot of coffee. “Okay, I’ve changed my mind.”

“You have?”

“Yes. I’m not staying a week and coming home with you. We’re all staying here forever. I like this room service business.”

“It’s addicting, isn’t it?” Nick popped a raspberry in his mouth and sat down. “So, the talk. Hit me.”

“Read first.” Lani shoved a stack of stapled papers across the table and sprinkled a handful of raspberries into her bowl.

“What’s this?” He shoved a mouthful of cereal into his mouth and opened the documents, reading aloud as he chewed. “Instructions for Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form…Petition to Determine Paternity and Related Relief.” His eyes questioned as his mouth swallowed.

“I’m taking control of my life again, Nick.”

Nick smiled in quiet relief, even if he didn’t completely understand what all these papers were about. “You’re gonna have to explain this one. This says it’s a petition to determine paternity…you already know he’s the dad.”

“Right. We have to get that legal so we can limit when he sees her. No more of this popping in whenever he feels like it.”

Nick started leafing through the documents not even sure what he was looking for. Maybe a special statement that said, ‘Neron has Florida’s permission to fall into the gulf never to be found again.’ “Where’s the meat of this? I’m lost.”

“All the specifics are on the last few pages there.”

He skimmed as he ate, all the words blurring until he saw just one. ‘Custody’. “Wait, you want shared custody???”

“So I could define supervised visitation. He can’t be alone with either of us.”

He let that last part go, still chewing, still leafing, still a bit confused. “Will Ro have to get blood tests done?”

“She did this week. We just have to wait for Neron to reply.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“He has three choices. He can ignore me and we’ll file a default motion. There’ll be a hearing and he’ll have no voice…will probably lose all rights to ever see Rosalie again.”

“That’s what I’m voting for.”

“Don’t count on it. Then, he can reply by totally agreeing to what I have spelled out here, or he can contest it.”

“He wouldn’t…”

“He would. I asked for a sick amount of child support.”

Nick found the page on child support and choked on his food. “Why so much? You don’t need the money.”

“Nope…and that’s why he’ll freak over it and fight, hopefully. If I cave on that, then he might not fight the other things so much. It was my attorney’s suggestion.”

“Makes sense. So you’re willing to counter back and forth?”

“Yeah. And then, we’ll agree and it will go to a hearing. If we can’t agree, it will go to a trial. Either way, a judge has the final say.”

“Okay, so then what? When will Rosalie get some peace back in her life?”

“We’ll all get peace back once the courts have made the final decision and we live with it. Just because Neron and I agree to what’s outlined, doesn’t mean a judge will. I mean, I’m risking a judge being ‘family happy’ and making it very difficult for me to continue my life on my own.”

“Jesus…”

“I didn’t see any other alternative, Nick. You were right. She needs stability. This is the only way I know to provide that for her. For us.”

At her final words, Nick stopped digging through the documents to look into Lani’s eyes. The legal mumbo jumbo they’d been discussing filtered down to two words. ‘For us.’ He tossed the papers aside along with his bowl and slid in closer to her. “So, cut to the chase here. What exactly does this mean…for us?”

She kissed the tip of his nose and brushed his mussed morning hair out of his face. “It means he can’t come and go as he pleases. It means he can’t control this situation any more. Or me. Or Ro. It means…” She sighed and looked down into her cereal bowl, relieved for one last berry. “…it means that minus the occasional scheduled visit, Neron won’t be hanging around. It’ll go back to just being us.”

Their eyes settled in one another’s as she chewed and slight smiles spread across their faces. “I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah…I thought you might.”

With another blink, he’d grabbed the documents again and started filtering through them, looking for a missed point, a glitch, something that could screw up what sounded like a perfect solution. “So, what changed your mind?”

“Not changed…cleared.” More berries. She wanted more berries. Sweet tartness…like this conversation.

As his eyes settled on the custody requests, his heart stopped, realizing why she’d asked for supervised visits. “Did he hurt you? Ro?”

“No.” She got up from the table and took the extra bowl of berries to the couch, curling up and hiding in the darkened corner of the room.

“What happened?”

“Nick, we’re okay.”

“I know. I see that, but something must have happened for you to go off, get an attorney…all of it.”

“Honestly, it’s mostly Ben’s fault.” She lured him over to her with a strawberry, but he missed the message.

“Ben? What?”

“We, uh…we kind of unexpectedly met up at your house one night.”

His eyes questioned. His heart ached for home as she continued.

“I needed you. And…it was the best I could do. He was there finishing up some yard work.”

Seeing the berry seductively disappear between her full lips, Nick got up and joined her on the couch. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“It’s okay – I knew this going in. Ben was and that’s what I needed that night.”

“He took care of my girl. I’ll have to thank him for that.”

“He’s a good boy, Nick. He listened. He showed me what I was stupidly missing.” Lani curled up into him, circling her fingers around his chest where his tattoos hid beneath his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Nick.”

“You’re sorry? For what? What happened, Lani??”

She sighed and sat back, feeding Nick one of the juiciest of the fruits. “Well, about a week ago, he came over for a visit…”

“Buck assed naked??? You pushed him out there buck. Assed. Nekkid??” Nick had been through a roller coaster of emotion as she told the story – trying to patiently wait until the end. Hearing about him coming onto her, kissing her, all of it, just about did him in, but somehow he knew she could handle the pecker. Now he was in fits of hysterical laughter. “Holy shit, I’d have paid big bucks to have seen that one.”

“Remember Sra. Jiminez next door? About 85 and smart as a whip?”

“Oh no…”

“Oh yeah. I got a visit from her the next day. She got the show for free. She was not happy.”

“Christ.” Nick laughed again, imagining Neron standing in Lani’s front yard, all of his goods hanging out for the world to see, flipping her off, yelling something obnoxious in Spanish. It was definite. The next recording session was going to be closer to home. He wasn’t going to miss the fireworks that might happen because of this petition.

“So…while that’s funny now…and it is…that night, I was a bit freaked out.”

“Well, yeah. The fuck…I can’t believe…” Nick stopped and sighed, realizing that this is exactly what he feared was going to happen. Neron was never there for Rosalie. It was all about getting Lani back. “…he’s slime.”

“Yes, he is. I brushed my teeth about 10 times before I went to bed.”

“Well, that’s not quite what I meant…just that he’d use Ro to get to you.”

“And to you.”

“To me? How?”

“He wants you gone.”

“Whatthefuck’d I ever do to him?”

“You love me. You take care of me. You’re a better man than he’ll ever dream of being.”

“Oh. Well. If he wants his way, he’s going to have to do more than hit on my woman, now isn’t he?” Nick leaned forward and slowly ran his tongue along Lani’s bottom lip, tasting the small bit of berry juice that remained. She was still sweeter. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can’t either. I just didn’t want to tell you over the phone.” She buried her face in his neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin and pushing him back on the couch. “…besides, I wasn’t kidding when I said I was horny.”

“I see that.” Nick chuckled as Lani settled on his thighs again, lifting her t-shirt over her head and letting her full breasts bounce as they freed from the cotton. “You’re insatiable.”

She fell forward, lifting his shirt, letting her nipples brush against the newly bared flesh of his stomach. “I don’t hear you complaining.” Her weight settled onto his and her lips warmed his skin, kissing and licking and sucking all over his chest as he brought the shirt up over his head.

All she heard was a moan escape from his lips and the shirt hitting the floor. His hands tangled in her hair and the thigh she was straddling lifted to press into her as she slowly slid her way down, bathing him with her kisses.

His hands left her hair and she felt him fumbling around near his hips, trying to slip out of his boxers. Grabbing his hands, she lifted them back up to his chest and held onto them tightly. “Leave ‘em on…”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to chew through them.”

“My clock says 7-0-0! Time to get up!” Rosalie bounced onto Nick and Lani’s bed and crawled in between them, settling down in the pile of linens and the warmth of their bodies.

Unison moans crept from the depths of the bed, Nick’s groggy blue eyes the first to open. “Are you sure it’s 7, Ro?”

“Yup! 7-0-0 just like you said. We go to the studio today, right?”

“Not for a few hours, yeah…” Nick lifted up and bonked Solana on the head, knowing full well she’d not be able to sleep through her daughter’s arrival. “Get up, woman. 7-0-0 was your idea.”

Rosalie rolled over and snuggled against her mother’s back. “Mamí. You’re naked!”

“Shi- uh, yeah. I, uh…got hot last night.”

“It’s cuz you have all these blankets. Too many.” Rosalie sat up and tossed everything back exposing her mother’s full nakedness. Nick thanked the stars that a bit of insomnia had woken him and he’d pulled on boxers to step out onto the balcony for a bit. “No panties either!?”

Before Lani had to make up more excuses, Nick scooped Ro up and took her into the living room of the suite. “Let’s pick out some breakfast so Mamí can get dressed, huh?”

“What’s Brian’s favorite cereal? I want that.”

Fortunately, Rosalie got so distracted at the idea of meeting the other Backstreet Boys that she forgot about the nude morning and never asked anymore questions. Before her little brain exploded from excitement, they were pulling into the studio’s parking lot.

“Is that him? Is that Brian?”

“Breathe, Ro…it’s not Brian. That’s one of the producers.” Nick held the door open for Rosalie as she slid out of her seat. “He’s here already, though. I see his car.”

“Oh, good. I don’t want him to miss me.”

She skipped toward the door and stopped in mid-air. “Is this the Rosalie I’ve heard so much about?” Brian opened the door for everyone, laughing as Nick had to pick Rosalie up to carry her in because her feet had suddenly forgotten how to move. “Hey guys. Thought I’d meet you out here. AJ’s in doin’ a track now, so we have some time.”

Rosalie’s mouth also seemed to have forgotten how to move. For the first time since her 7-0-0 entrance that morning, she was completely silent. “Rosalie, aren’t you going to say ‘hi’?”

“Hi.”

The three adults shared a silent glance and breathed a sigh of relief when Howie came in. “Ah, Solana. Buenos días, mi dama bonita.”

“Su dama. Pft.” Nick gave a thumbs up and walked away as Howie gave Lani a kiss on the cheek. Their meeting the day before had been one long whirlwind of Spanish and laughter. Nick felt like an outsider, but was thrilled she’d hit if off with the boys so well. It would make life that much easier.

“Whatsa matter, Nicky? Are you actually jealous??? I’ve never seen that in you before.”

“Of you? Get over yourself, D. And get offa my lady.” He winked at Rosalie who hadn’t taken her eyes off of Howie since he’d walked in.

“Hola, Howie. Soy Rosalie.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You’ll talk to him, but not to me? I’m hurt!”

“That’s cuz he’s just Howie, you’re,” Solana sighed heavily in mock teenaged lust, “Brian.”

“Mamí!”

Before Rosalie could fully scold her mother for embarrassing her, Lani’s phone rang. Howie took Rosalie’s hand and disappeared down the hall with her, Brian following closely behind. “We have a lot to see here today. Mamí can meet up with us later, huh?”

Lani finally dug her phone out of her purse and looked at the number, growing pale as it registered.

“Who is it, baby?”

“My attorney.”

Nick sat on the couch with Lani, holding her hand, watching her expressions, trying to figure out what the conversation was about, if it was good news or bad news. She was unreadable.

She flipped off her phone and tossed it back into her purse, taking his hand in both of hers. “Okay. Not so bad, I don’t think.”

“Yeah?”

“Neron contested a few things. I guess he stormed into Miguel’s office like a bat out of hell.”

Nick shook his head and wondered for the millionth time where Lani’s head was when she hooked up with the man. Not that Nick’s past didn’t have its black marks too, but he was stupid. Lani wasn’t. “That got him nowhere, I hope.”

“Oh definitely. It’s why I hired Miguel in the first place. He was my brother’s best friend in high school. He was always protective of me, even though I was older.”

“So what’d he argue?”

“Child support like I expected. God, I would have loved to have seen his face…” She drifted off into a temporary revengeful trance, remembering the look on his face when she slammed the door on his naked ass. Shock. Defeat. Fury. It was beautiful.

“Well, good…looks like Miguel knows what he’s doing.”

“He does, but Neron tossed us a surprise, too. He wants Rosalie to have his name.”

“He doesn’t even want Rosalie. Why would he push that?”

“Control. Possession. When Ro marries, his name will remain, not mine.”

“You don’t give up your name when you get married?”

“You give up your mother’s name, retain your father’s. We do it weird in the Spanish tradition…some of us anyway.”

“Like…?”

“Like, his name is Neron Alano Gomez Oliveras. Gomez is his father’s name and Oliveras is his mother’s.”

“You don’t have four names though.”

“Nope. Mamí didn’t want me to have my father’s name, just like Ro.”

“And now he wants her to so his name will be carried on...”

“Yeah, and he’s not going to get it.” She giggled as she could see Nick’s mind trying to figure out what the names would be should Neron win. “Rosalinda Maria Gomez Romero. His name – or his father’s, and my name.”

“So, say we get married…” he chuckled at her shocked face and kissed her lips into a smile. “…don’t be so surprised. What would her name be then?”

“Unless you adopted her, she’d still be Romero.”

“And you would be…”

“My last name would be Romero de Carter.”

“So if I adopted Ro…she’d be the same?”

“Nope, she’d be Carter Romero; when she marries, Romero would be gone. Just like the Americans do, but Carter would always be part of her name.”

“And that’s okay with you – that Romero isn’t carried on?”

“Sure. I’m not fighting it for my name. I’m fighting it for hers.”

Nick nodded and let his mind wander more into the future of a life with Solana and Rosalie. Marriage had always seemed like such a far off thing for him, especially in light of the mess he always saw at home, but now? Now it just seemed like the logical order of things. The pleasurably logical order of things. He folded her into his arms, breathing her in as she relaxed at his touch. “It will all work out, baby. You’re doing the right thing.”

She nodded against his chest knowing he was right, wishing for a quick end to it all so she could believe it from her head to her toes. “We’ll just offer him less money in hopes that will shut him up. Bastardo.”

“He’s a prize alright.”

They stayed curled up on the couch, their minds swimming with thoughts of marriage, divorce, custody, names, family, home when Howie arrived and interrupted their quiet.

“C’mere, you guys. You’ve gotta see this.”

Howie led them back to Studio A and put his fingers to his lips. “Lani, it’s one way glass, so she won’t see you, but she might notice the engineers talking to someone else. You’re gonna love this.” He pushed the steel door open and peeked in, slowly opening it fully for Nick and Lani to go inside.

Lani’s hand covered her mouth to stifle the chortle that threatened to ruin the moment. Nick did the same, pulling up a stool for both of them to sit and watch the show before them.

Brian had taken Rosalie into the booth and smacked a set of headphones over her curls. She had to hold them up with her chubby hands because they were much too large. But, they didn’t distract her from the job she was doing.

Apparently, he had taught her a new song. One Lani didn’t know, but Nick was familiar with from his childhood. He and his mom would sing it on some of their longer drives to dance class and rehearsals. This was obviously a rehearsal before anything official happened because Rosalie wasn’t singing into the mic and no one seemed to care. Brian was just there for coaching and sound effects.

“Okay, Ro…the music is cued. You ready, sweetheart?” The engineer had his finger on a few sliders, ready to help Ro kick off her musical debut.

She looked back at Brian, not sure how ready she really was. “Am I ready, Brian?”

“You’re ready, girl…tell him, ‘Hit it!’”

“Hit it!”

A very synthesized, Barney-esque song started and Rosalie started to bop her head in time to the music, waiting for Brian’s signal when to start singing.

In a voice only a duck’s mother would love, Brian cued his girl. “Okay, Ro. Sing it! One, two, one, two, three, four!”

Six little ducks that I once knew
Fat ones, skinny ones, fair ones too
But the one little duck with a feather on his back
He lead the others with his quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack quack,
He lead the others with his quack, quack, quack

Brian quacked at the appropriate times – usually, and Nick almost fell off of his stool. Lani’s hand hadn’t left her mouth.

Down to the river they would go
Wibble-wobble, wibble-wobble to and fro
But the one little duck with the feather on his back,
He lead the others with his quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack quack,
He lead the others with his quack, quack, quack

By now, everyone in the studio was doing the motions to the song, wibble wobbling and flapping their wings with the quacks. All unbeknownst to Rosalie of course, who was giving the performance of her life. In between smacking Brian for being a smarty pants.

Home from the river they would come
Wibble-wobble, wibble-wobble, ho hum hum
But the one little duck with the feather on his back,
He lead the others with his quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack quack,
He lead the others with his quack, quack, quack

Nick finally full out laughed and Lani smacked his arm, reminding him to be quiet. The music silenced and Rosalie’s face went from fun loving to very serious. Obviously the tune was changing pace. And key. Rosalie’s eyes got concerned and she looked to Brian and tapped her headphone covered ear mouthing her concern.

“My note, my note???”

At just the right time, Brian started for her, backing off to let Rosalie take her mini-medley home.

Little Ducky Duddle
Went wading in a puddle
Went wading in a puddle quite small.

Brian quacked in the pauses. Nick almost fell off his stool again. The engineer’s shoulders were violently shaking.

He said, “It doesn’t matter
How much I splish and splatter
Cuz I am just a ducky afterall.”

She took a deep breath for her big finish.

Cuz I am just a ducky…after…alllllllllllllllllllllllll.”

Brian sealed the deal with quacks and ducky talk as the music wound down. Rosalie wrapped her arms around Brian, knocking both of their headsets clean off and ending the song with nothing but a full round of giggles.

Lani got the ‘all clear’ from the engineer and bolted into the sound room, scooping up Rosalie and twirling her around, almost knocking over stools and microphones and Brians in the process. “Baby! You were wonderful!”

“Did you hear me, Mamí? Did you? I’m a singer!! Just like Brian and Nick and Aaron!”

“Yes you are, baby…yes, you are!” She looked over her daughter’s curls to thank Brian and the engineers for wasting expensive studio time on her child. “You guys…what a treat for her.”

The engineer’s voice popped in the small room, startling Lani and making Rosalie giggle. “You get used to that, Mamí.”

“Give us about 10 minutes Miss Romero and we’ll have a copy of it for her to take home.”

“Wow, baby…your own CD! What do you think?”

Rosalie squirmed out of her mother’s arms and into Nick’s. “I think I like that. And, I think I’m ready for lunch too.”

“Worked up an appetite, huh?

Rosalie kissed Nick’s cheek and shimmied down his body to go give Brian a hug. As they nestled in each other’s neck, Nick and Brian caught eyes. They’d been working together again for weeks, but nothing had been said about the anger that had lingered between them for the previous couple of years. There hadn’t been time alone to do it. There hadn’t been time made to do it.

But in this moment, they let it all go. Brian accepted Nick’s new life and Nick remembered what a caring, compassionate man Brian could be. With a whispered, “Thank you,” and a faint smile and nod, all was forgotten, all was forgiven, and one little star – at least to this audience – was born.

“Woah, woah, woah! Hold on there, Muñe. We’re right up here.” Rosalie stopped tugging on Nick’s arm and watched with a gaped mouth as he lifted her Dora suitcase up into the overhead bin. “Come on – you get the window.”

“We’re up here? In these big seats!?” She clamored up and bounced on the seat, waving to her mother and neighbor as she took the seat across the aisle. “Hi, Mamí and Katy! You gonna be okay over there?”

“Yep. We’ll just hang on to each other if this thing goes down.”

“Hey now. None of that.” Nick popped Lani on the behind and they all snuggled into their seats, ready for the long flight back to Florida.

It had been a great week, one of little work, a lot of play, a lot of love making and tons upon tons of giggling. Oh yes, and listening to Rosalie’s duck CD 150 million times. At least. Brian had signed it for her and they made copies of it for Abuela, Katy and Neron. Of course, all four copies had to be tried and tested and tried and tested to be sure that everyone had exactly the same copy. Lani and Nick swore they would start quacking in their sleep.

The women chatted and Nick and Ro snuggled and slept and looked out the window at the beautiful scenery below them. He pointed out the Grand Canyon and they talked about how cold it must be on the mountains to have snow, while it was swim suit time in Florida already. As the sun set on their flight, they watched the sky change colors and then guessed at what could be happening in the towns where all they could see were glittering lights over cityscapes. Nick squeezed Rosalie’s hand tight as the plane touched ground and Rosalie squeezed back.

“You’re not afraid, are you, Nick?”

He lied. “No.” Then he looked at her, at the tired glow in her deep brown eyes, at the promise that she offered just because he was his Nick to her Rosalie. Suddenly he realized, he wasn’t really lying. He wasn’t afraid.

There was nothing in this world to be afraid of – as long as he had his girls.

“You pump, I’ll clean.” Ben was almost out of the car before Nick came to a full stoop.

“You sure you’re tall enough to reach the windows, dude?”

Ben had already grabbed the window washer and flung dirty fluid across Nick’s truck, nailing him right between the eyes. “I don’t know – you think you can count high enough to fill up this boat?”

“I don’t need to count, genius. The machine does it for me.” Nick grinned and ducked before another dousing of grimy wiper fluid hit him again.

Now that he was home again, Nick had made a conscious effort to spend more time with Ben. He’d let it slide for much too long and wanted to connect again – at least before Ben took off for the Keys for spring break.

It had sounded like such a good idea at the time – matching up Aaron with Ben – they were so much alike, but now…now that his family had virtually gone off the deep end, he wasn’t feeling all too keen on Ben being down there. Hell, Nick didn’t even want to be down there. How could he, in good conscience, feed Ben to the lions like that?

There was no telling the kid this, of course. Ben was going. His first trip alone. His first almost adult vacation. Time away from his brother and sisters. Time away from his mother. Time away from his girl – that part wasn’t all that nice. And, time learning more about Nick and his family than he probably should.

A spray of warm, thick water hit Nick on the face, snapping him out of his daze. “Are you in there? I’ve been talking to you for 2 minutes, dude.”

“Huh? Oh. No. Sorry. What time does your flight leave tomorrow?”

“Christ, Nick. 11:27 or some stupid time like that. Why don’t you write it down or somethin’?”

“I’ll remember…I just…” Nick heard the gas pump thunk and clicked the lever a few times to get a more even total. “…god, gas is expensive again.”

“Don’t you want me to go? You’re actin’ weird about the whole thing.”

“I want you to go, Ben. It’s just…” Squealing tires and a thumping bass pulled both boys away from their conversation. “…shit.”

Seeing Nick turn his back to the car and then recognizing who unfolded from the dilapidated old Chevy with the brand spanking new sound system, Ben echoed Nick’s sentiment. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Nick finally got the gas cap on properly and motioned to Ben to put the window wiper away ignoring clicking of boot heels that came closer and closer. “Let’s go.”

“Aw, Nick…don’t leave on my account.”

“Neron.” Quickly sliding into his truck, Nick clicked the locks down and fumbled to get his keys in the ignition. Why was this asshole making him nervous?

“Breathe, Nick…just get the hell outta here.”

“I’d love to. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

A tap on the window stopped his fumbling and Nick reluctantly looked to his left, dreading the ugly mug that would be on the opposite side of the glass. With a deep sigh, he rolled down his window. “Can I help you?”

Neron folded his arms on the edge of the window and smiled, his gold tooth glimmering in the sun, his thick Borican accent sounding more menacing than usual. “Yes, maybe you can.”

“Mmm…make it fast. I got somewhere I need to be.”

“Pity.”

Nick finally got the keys in the ignition and turned on the engine, revving it for…why? To show how tough he was? “Nick, just get us out of here…” Okay, to show how stupid he was. That worked.

“Is there a point to this, Neron? Or have you forgotten how to pump your own gas?”

“Call off the girlfriend, will you? I don’t need any court appearances.”

“Ah, of course. Only you wouldn’t know Solana well enough to know that no one tells her what to do.” Nick put the car in drive and punched on the stereo. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Not to be so easily deterred, Neron jogged along side the car, never letting go of the door. When Nick jerked the car to a stop Neron tripped and righted himself before Nick could even muster up a good laugh. “Cute, Carter. I’m serious. Call off Solana.”

“Look, Neron, I don’t have any more control over what she does with her daughter than I do over the weather. And, if you hadn’t been such an ass with her to begin with, none of this would be happening now, would it?”

“You callin’ me an ass?”

“Yeah, I am. And I’m leaving…move or you’re comin’ with me.” Nick jerked the car forward and Neron had no choice but to let go, flipping him off as the truck sped out of the station.

Ben and Nick drove in heated silence for as long as Ben could stand it. “Are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on or do you just like leaving me here in the dark?”

“Your eyes glow all pretty like in the dark. I think I’m gonna leave you there.”

“I hate you.”

“Good. Much safer.” Nick laughed at the lame pout on Ben’s face and finally conceded. “Later, dude, okay? I just wanna forget about it all right now.”

“Okay, tell me why the hell we’re going to the center on a Saturday when I already spend half of my waking hours there?”

“Now who’s the one who can’t remember shit?” Nick grabbed the back of Ben’s shirt, stopping him from going inside. “Woah there, Tonto…you’re helping me carry these in.”

“These what?”

“Two window air units, dawg. Or have you forgotten that José broke two last week and you all have been sweating like pigs since.”

“Oh…Lani said we couldn’t afford new ones…”

“The center can’t.” Nick grunted as he lifted one of the boxes and glanced up at the door, wondering if he could carry it that far. “But I can.” Seeing Ben waver as he lifted the second unit from the truck, he chuckled. “You got it?”

“Yeah, just fuckin’ move, man…I’m gonna drop this thing on my toes.”

As they got closer to the door, they could hear a thumping bass coming from inside. Loud, thumping bass. Only this wasn’t the salsa swing shit that had been coming from Neron’s car – this was…

“Is that Jet? Lani likes Jet?”

Nick put down his box and groaned when he stood up, the ache in his back reminding him that he was young, but not as young as the kid standing next to him. “Remember Elvis last year? They’re cleaning…” Nick peeked in and smirked. “Yup…let’s go. We’ve got a cleaning concert to attend.”

Ben put his box on the ground and followed Nick in, scooting their boxes across the concrete floor in rhythm to the song’s introduction.

123 take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine and I really want to make you mine.

Instead of a hand, Rosalie took a feather duster from Lani and followed her towards Barry’s office.

Until they bumped right into Nick and Ben. Nick took his cue.

I say you look so fine that I really want to make you mine.

Lani didn’t miss a beat, and handed Nick a broom, pointing to the bookshelves so he could get started, sending him on his way with a kiss, of course.

4 5 6 come on, get your kicks
Now you don’t need money when you look like that do ya’ honey?

Nick stood in the middle of the large room, pouting while everyone danced around him. He didn’t want to clean. Not yet. Right now, it was time to play! He threw his broom down and slid back over to Lani singing in her ear as he danced behind her.

Big black boots
Long brown hair
She’s so sweet with her
Get back stare.

Rosalie would have none of this business of being second best so she slid over to Ben and yanked his arm so he’d dance with her. He took the feather duster from her hand and tossed it aside, throwing his teenaged pride and angst aside right along with it. Sometimes, you just have to let it all go.

I could see
You home with me
But you were with another man, yeah
I know we ain’t got
Much to say
Before I let you get away, yeah

All motion stopped as the music did and each partner looked into the eyes of the other, speaking the next line along with the CD.

I said-a, “Are you gonna be my girl?”

The dance began again, right in time to the music, this time adding some sort of cleaning tool to the routine. Fun, yes. Desire to get done? Even more so. Nick, of course was busy cleaning Lani’s ass and Ben was busy fending off Rosalie’s feather duster in his face.

123 take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine and I really want to make you mine.

I say you look so fine that I really want to make you mine.

They swapped partners and Nick scooped up Rosalie, making her squeal and lose count of the next line.

4 5 6 come on, get your kicks
Now you don’t need money with a face like that do ya’?

The dancing continued. The mirage of cleaning continued and the song carried on – along with its performers.

Big black boots
Long brown hair
She’s so sweet with her
Get back stare.

I could see
You home with me
But you were with another man, yeah
I know we ain’t got
Much to say
Before I let you get away, yeah

When the music died down this time, everyone stopped in their places, Rosalie’s skirt still swaying the previous rhythm of her hips.

I said-a, “Are you gonna be my girl?”

On Nick’s lead, they snapped with the song, in West Side Story fashion, giggling and moving to the center of the room. They met in the middle just in time. The music erupted in a full rock and roll vamp and they danced and sang and moved and forgot the entire world outside of their own.

I could see
You home with me
But you were with another man, yeah
I know we ain’t got
Much to say
Before I let you get away, yeah

I said-a, “Are you gonna be my girl?”*

As the song ended, they got an abrupt re-entry into reality.

“Christ. Why did I think you people could help me?”

The flimsy screen door slammed shut, but not before Lani caught a glimpse of José leaving the scene. “Shit. José.” She took off after him and Nick automatically took charge as the door slammed behind her.

“Okay guys. Real cleaning. Let’s go…” He kissed away Rosalie’s concerned face and bopped Ben on the head with the feather duster. “She’ll be okay…”

Nick slammed the hatch to his truck closed and peeked into his back seat, shaking his head at the love birds that were snuggled in the middle of it.

“I take it I’m the chauffeur today?”

“To the airport, James. And make it snappy. I’ve got a plane to catch.”

Erin and Nick cracked up at Ben’s horrible attempt at a British accent. Ben couldn’t help but giggle right along with them. “Just stick to sucking face with the lady, Ben…you might pull a muscle otherwise.”

And so he did – not pull a muscle, but sucked face with the lady of his dreams. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it a week away from his Erin – they’d gone through so much just to be together and now he was off to a week of god knew what in the Keys with Nick’s brother. He couldn’t wait to get there, but he could definitely wait to be away from his sweetie.

As Nick entered the highway, he snuck a peak into the rearview mirror and almost choked. “God, guys – could you at least keep the tongues inside your mouths?” As they snickered, he mumbled like an old, grumpy man. “I do NOT need to be seeing this.”

“Whatsa matter, Dad? Not gettin’ any of your own?”

“I’m gettin’ plenty, thank you very much. I just don’t need to be witness to you gettin’ yours – especially in my TRUCK!”

And so the journey went until they finally pulled into the airport parking garage. Ben and Erin pulled themselves away from one another long enough to get Ben into the airport, ticketed and to a small deli diner to wait for his gate time. And then the nervous fidgets began.

“What are YOU so nervous about? I’m the one getting on the plane.”

Nick quit tearing his napkin into tiny shreds and dug in his pocket, pulling out a cell phone. “Here…”

“What’s this?”

Nick gave him an incredulous look and turned it on. “It’s one of those pay as you go things. You’ve got about $20 worth of time on there…and I’m not upping it ‘til after you get home. Don’t abuse this thing.”

“I don’t need this, Nick…” He tried to hand it back, but Nick would hear nothing of it.

“Yeah. You might. Honestly, if you wanna call Erin and talk for hours on end, use Aaron’s phone. He’s got free long distance and a kajillion minutes. But…for emergencies…”

“…what kind of emergencies?”

“…just…emergencies. I’ve got speed dial all set up for you. I’m #1, of course.”

“Of course.” They rolled their eyes at each other and went right back to the phone.

“Lani’s 2, your house is 3 and your mom’s work is 4. I think Erin’s in there as 5, but you’ll have to look it up…”

Ben automatically started pushing buttons to figure out how it worked and Nick’s back end started ringing. “Oops.”

“Are You Gonna Be My Girl? Your butt rings Jet?” Erin couldn’t stop laughing.

“Hush. It’s Ben’s ring.” Nick snagged the phone out of Ben’s hand and showed him the button to end a call. “Emergencies, got it?”

“Yeah…” Ben’s eyes still questioned. Nick’s eyes remained firm. Erin’s eyes grew uncomfortable.

“I’m, um…how much longer ‘til you go?” Erin stood and grabbed her purse.

“I’ve got about 15 minutes...”

“Okay, I’m gonna go over…I’m…I’ll be back.” She disappeared into the crowd before Ben could stop her.

“Great. Thanks, Nick…I kinda wanted to be with HER before I took off…”

“You will be. Ben, look. My brother…” Nick rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried again. “My family…they’re…it’s…things aren’t good right now.”

“I know. I mean…I don’t, but…it’s not like I’m not used to family shit.”

“You’re not used to my family shit…truth is, I’m not real thrilled at what you might see.”

“What, you afraid you’ll fall off your pedestal?”

“Dump the attitude, Ben. You have no idea…I’m just…I’m trying to give you a way out. That’s all.”

Ben stopped arguing and shoved the phone into his bag. “Alright. Whatever. I don’t know what the hell you’re so worried about…”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.”

Ben grabbed his bag and turned to see if he could figure out which way Erin went. “I need to get through security…where’d she go?”

Nick stood and spotted her at a magazine stand and guided Ben to her, not mentioning another word about his family or his fears. It was time for the kids to say ‘goodbye’, to feel their first ache of distance, to let each other grow a little while on their own. Ben and Nick hugged and shared one more knowing look between them.

“I’m always here for you.”

“I know…I know.”

Erin and Nick stayed and watched him as he passed through security without a hitch. They quietly walked out to the parking garage, deep in their own thoughts.

When Nick got in and started the truck, Erin looked over to him, worry wrinkling her young, perfect complexion.

“Is he gonna be okay?”

“I hope so, Erin. I hope so.”

“Good afternoon, ladies.”

“Hey Nick.”

While seeing a Backstreet boy at their center had become old hat to most of the kids, some of the girls still got flirty and sing-songy in their dealings with him. He never knew his name could last a whole measure. Or how girls who had been playing four square every day for the past two years could still miss the stinkin’ ball every time he walked by.

The red head who chased after it stopped right before she plowed right into him, panting at her long, 5 foot run. “Rosalie’s lookin’ for ya’.”

“She is, huh?” He handed her ball back and winked. “Guess I’d better go see what she needs.”

He smirked as he felt four sets of eyes follow him into the building. Some days the admiration was fun. Some days it was a royal pain in the ass. Today – it was fun. Harmless ten year old girls were just plain fun.

As soon as he got inside, the fun stopped. Kids were playing at the computers. That was good. Others were doing some paper craft across the room. That was fine. Rosalie was curled up in a beanbag chair with a few other preschoolers looking through books. A-okay there. But, as his eyes skimmed the room, he saw Lani’s curvy backside, her long silky hair draping over her shoulders and just the slightest glimpse of the side of her face as it angrily dealt with none other than José – who was backed against a wall with all of the obstinance he could muster. Not so fun.

Rosalie caught Nick’s eye and tossed her book aside as her face lit the room. He motioned for her to wait there and with a few large steps, he had landed on the carpeted reading area, lifted her up and planted both of them back into the beanbag. As she snuggled into his chest, they had a private conversation.

“What’d José do this time?”

“Not sure…I think he talked mean to Mamí.”

“Ah, well, after this weekend, I bet that would make her angry, huh?”

“Makes me angry. He’s just a big bully.”

“I know someone that used to be a big bully around here – and he’d talk mean to Mamí too.”

“Who?” She sat up and ran her fingers along the neckline of his shirt as they talked. It was as if after all this time, she still couldn’t believe he was real.

“Ben.”

“Ben was never…” She stopped and obviously had a few memories come back. “Oh. Yeah. Well, he’s all better now isn’t he?”

“Yep…know who else used to talk mean to your Mom?”

“No…”

“Me.”

“Nuh-uh. You love her.”

“Well, I do now…and…” he leaned in extra close, pretending there were a million people listening even though they were in their own private world, “…I probably did then too, but I was too stupid to admit it.”

“I don’t think José loves her.”

“Uh, no. Probably not.” He picked up the book she’d been looking through, laughing at the title. “A Porcupine named Fluffy?”

“Yeah! It’s a funny one…wanna read it to me?”

She snuggled into his lap knowing full well he’d do it and opened up the first page and helping him with the first words – just in case he needed help.

When Mr. and Mrs. Porcupine had their first child, they were delighted. Now he needed a name.

The center was finally empty of kids and Lani looked like she was empty of soul. “Can you just drive us home? I’m too pooped to bother.”

“Yeah…how you gonna get in tomorrow?” Lani smiled at Nick and batted her eyes. “Ah. I’ll bring you in…does this mean a sleep over?”

He wagged his eyebrows and Rosalie cheered.

Once everyone was in the truck, Lani let out a primal scream scaring Nick and Ro half to death. “Feel better?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m so sick of ‘the system’ I could scream.”

“You just did, Mamí. Warn us next time.” Rosalie was not in the mood for another scream, so she slapped her headphones on and started bopping her head to the music in her CD player.

“Sorry.” She reached over and rested her hand on Nick’s thigh, sighing peacefully when he took her hand in his and kissed it tenderly. “José didn’t seem real grateful you saved his ass the other day, huh?”

“José’s scared, Nick. I mean, one day he’s at home with Mom and the next he’s being told he’s gotta move out and live with strangers.”

“Are things not going well at the foster home?”

“They’re okay, I guess. He wants his mama.”

“How long is she gonna be in jail?”

“Could be a few years. She’s guilty. Trafficking, possession, under the influence, neglect. She screwed up.”

“How does a mom get involved in that shit when they’re the only ones who are there for their kids?”

“Because they’re the only ones who are there for their kids.”

“You didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t. I could have.”

“You wouldn’t have tho, Lani – I mean, just because life is hard doesn’t mean you lay down and die.”

Lani nodded and leaned her head back against the seat, remembering José the day he came crashing in on their cleaning party. He was running from the state, running from the mess his mother had made of his life. Running from the possibility of living the rest of his childhood years in foster care. And, as much as Lani wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do it, she couldn’t. She called the proper authorities and kept him that night until he could get home and properly pack. And then she had to force him to go to the foster parent’s, remind him that he wasn’t helping his mother if he was a shit while he was there, and then take his verbal abuse when he had to lash at someone and Lani was the obvious target.

There was not one good thing about the situation. Not one. The only thing she could do was make sure José didn’t lay down and die, like Nick said. That he kept fighting – even if it was with her. She wouldn’t rest if she knew that she failed him and another kid grew up to be like Neron. That was her driving force. That’s what kept her from letting him go and become yet another kid in the system. He was going to grow up to be a responsible adult if she could help it.

“I love you, Lani.”

It was so soft, she barely heard him, but she rolled her head on the seat and caught him turning his focus back to the road and his words became clear. “I love you…”

When they got home, Rosalie smacked Nick’s backside as she ran up to the porch and Lani went to the curb to get the mail. She was casually sifting through the bills and junk when she stopped cold.

“Hurry up, Mamí. I gotta pee!”

She didn’t move from her spot, but frantically opened one of the envelopes while Nick flipped through is keys to find the one to their home.

“WAIT! Oh my god, Nick! Oh my god!!!” Now Lani moved and moved fast, running up her yard and skipping steps onto the porch. “Look! Oh my god! He did it! He did it!”

“Did what?”

“I gotta peeeeee! I’m serious!” Rosalie started dancing and Nick took two extra seconds to turn the key in the door and push it open.

“Go. Damn.” He grabbed the paper from Lani’s hands and looked in her eyes first – joy, shock – and then he pulled his curious eyes from her back to the form in his hands. “Answer to Petition…” His eyes skimmed down and realization hit. “He consented? He’s agreed to everything?”

“Yes! Yes!! The visitation, the name…look…” She flipped through the few short pages and pointed to all of the previously contested items. “He took my second offer of child support, he quit bitching about supervised visitation…it’s over, Nick. It’s over.”

“Once a judge agrees.”

She hit him in the arm and pushed him inside. “Don’t steal my sunshine, creep. As far as I’m concerned it’s over. No judge would argue any of this.” Lani saw the caution in Nick’s eyes and she wasn’t going to have it. “Please, Nick…this is good. This is very good. I got control back – I got us back.”

He took the papers from her again and leaned against the overstuffed chair to look at them more closely. Why would he threaten Nick one day and less than a week later, he’d consent to everything? It made no sense. “The name change…did he agree to that too?”

“Should have – lemme see…” She peeked over his arm and found it the same time he did. “Yep. He signed the line “I agree”, so the name thing dropped. She stays a Romero.”

Nick remembered the book he’d read to Rosalie about a silly porcupine whose name was Fluffy. Fluffy wasn’t fluffy. The truth of the matter was, Rosalie wasn’t Romero either. Not totally. She was Gomez Romero. But yet – inside she was Romero – just like Fluffy. And that’s all that mattered…

…and now Nick understood why she was fighting so hard for this. For José and kids like him. For a name for her daughter. She needed to wash Neron and anything like him out of their life.

And it looked like Neron had just opened the drain to make it all happen. Whether that made sense at all or not.

Rosalie had been in bed for a few hours and Nick and Lani spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch, surfing through 10 million channels finding 10 million hours of absolutely nothing on TV. “This is stupid, Nick. Let’s just go to bed.”

Nick clicked the tube off and grabbed their glasses as Lani locked up. They’d done this together so many time, that it had become a comfortable routine. Unfortunately, the silence between them was anything but comfortable.

Lani beat Nick to the bedroom and had already taken off her top and bra, now digging underneath her pillows for her sleep shirt. He came in and watched as her cinnamon skin disappeared beneath one of his old t-shirts and her hair fell from its ponytail into a full mane around her shoulders. She was the most beautiful creature on the planet.

She felt his eyes on her and she gave him a coy sideways glance as she pulled the decorative pillows from the bed. “¿Dónde está, querido?”

His shirt flew across the room and landed in a pile on her rocking chair. “Where am I? I’m right here, baby.” He flicked the radio on and helped her pull the bed back never making eye contact.

“Bullshit.”

“Bullshit, what?” He finally looked up and ignored the softness in her eyes, taking offense instead. “What do you want from me?”

A pillow flew across the bed and hit Nick in the face. “Don’t get shitty with me! You seem distant – I’m asking because I care about you, not because I want something!” Nick growled and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door, smacking the fan on, shutting her out. “Well, that went well, Lani, don’t you think?” She slid into bed and turned her back to the bathroom door, hoping sleep would come quickly.

She was kidding herself.

Finally Nick unearthed himself from his sulk in the john and quietly came back into the room, kissing her cheek softly and whispering an apology, figuring she was already asleep. She was still mad, and decided to play possum and let him sit with his guilt a little longer. Only he didn’t sit. He walked out of the bedroom.

Lani rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling, trying to hear his footsteps, wishing he’d just come back in so they could start the last 10 minutes over again, wanting the simple pleasure of feeling his cold nipple ring against her back as she slipped into sleep. Instead, she listened to herself breathing, listened to the radio play the same stupid songs they play every night at this time, listened to the air conditioner kick on and off again. Listened to her anger turn to worry as he didn’t come back and she really wanted to get to sleep.

Giving up on the wait, she flipped back the covers and tip toed out into the hall. No lights were on in the living room, the kitchen – anywhere. She noticed the door to Rosalie’s room was ajar and peeked in, her worry and anger giving way to calm and peace. Nick was knelt at Ro’s bedside, brushing her hair back as she slept, whispering words that Lani didn’t even want to hear. Words that were meant only for Ro’s sleeping ears, words that Lani assumed were expressions of whatever had been on his mind all evening.

As she felt a tear slide down her cheek, she left them alone, going into the kitchen to find something…to drink, to numb, to kill time, to distract. She only found a bottled water to soothe, but it’d do for now. Hiking herself up on the counter, she sat in the dark room and waited.

“Lani? Baby? Where are you?”

“In the kitchen…”

Nick’s form appeared in the moonlit room only seconds before she felt his hands on her thighs. “I’m sorry, baby…” His head rested on her shoulder, and her hand slid its way up into his hair.

“What’s eating at you? I thought tonight would be a happy night.”

“It’s supposed to have been, huh?” He shook his head and stood full, stepping back to lean against the other counter, kissing her before they totally parted. “I’m not totally sure what’s eating at me…”

“That can be part of the problem.”

“Yeah, I guess so…I’m supposed to be happy about this consent thing…”

“You’re supposed to feel however you feel Nick. I just don’t know why you’re not is all.”

She saw his silhouette nod and run its hand through the silken hair on his head that her own fingers were itching to touch again. He came to her and offered his hand. “Let’s go back to bed…”

She hopped down but stopped before they walked on. “You putting me off?”

“No. I just want you in my arms.”

Leaning into him, they stumbled and kissed down the hall, trying not to giggle too loudly when they passed Rosalie’s room. “She okay?”

He smiled, knowing he’d been caught, climbing into bed and holding the sheets open for her. “Yeah, she’s fine. Toasty and warm – sound asleep.”

As she settled, her hand brushed his cheek and her eyes centered in his. “What’s up, baby?”

“I saw Neron a few days ago – the day before Ben took off.”

“Where?”

“Gas station. I dunno if it was chance or if he was lookin’ for me. He definitely had a message though.”

“Which was…”

“Call off the girlfriend.” Nick waited a beat for her to register and continued. “Why would he do that one day and the next day sign papers consenting to everything?” Two more beats as he watched her breathing increase. “I don’t trust him, Lani…”

“No…but I trust his attorney.”

“You know him?”

“Her. Yeah. Hell, I helped him find her – she’s one of the best family attorneys we use at the center. Mine’s the best of course, but she’s a close second.”

“Doesn’t it just seem weird to you?”

“Yeah…but nothing he does surprises me. He knew that there would be further legal action if he didn’t sign this…and he doesn’t need any more legal battles.”

“He said that…he’s had trouble before, I take it?”

“Oh yeah – drugs, petty theft from construction sites he’s worked on, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s not beat a girlfriend or two.” Before Nick could sputter out his question, she stopped him. “He never laid a hand on me. He knew I’d hit back.”

“Fucking coward. That’s all he is.”

“Yep. So, why are you so afraid of him?”

Nick sighed and fell onto his back, covering his eyes with his arm. “That’s why I went in to see Rosalie…I feel like…like he can take her from me any time. Take you from me…”

“He has no authority to do that, Nick.”

“But these papers say he’s the dad now. Legally. Can’t he just do some fancy legal shit and snatch her away?”

“No. First…” Lani sat up and turned to face him, comforting him with her touch as best as she could. “…he’s not smart enough.”

“His attorney might be.”

“She knows me, and knows that I bring her about 70% of her business. It’d be suicide.”

“Okay, so he gets rid of her – finds some sleaze bag.”

“Nick, honey…it’s not going to happen. We now have the courts on our side. It is official court documentation that he walked out on us when I was pregnant, that he’s fought fair and reasonable child support, that he’s neglected his daughter for the first four years of her life and that he is not to be trusted alone with her or alone with me. No court in the world would give him any legal stronghold over Rosalie or over me.”

Nick nodded and reached up to brush her hair off her shoulder. “I don’t want to lose us – especially to him.”

“Don’t make this a competition for the girl, Nick. Don’t.”

“I’m not…”

“You are.”

“Am not.”

“Nickolas Gene Carter – you are acting like a baby.” She giggled and rolled on top of him kissing his neck up to his cheek, finally eliciting a small smile from his stubborn demeanor. “Thing is, Nick – there is no competition. You won. You got the girl. Both of us.”

The conversation ended as he leaned up and captured her lips in his, rolling her underneath him, never taking a breath as his lips traveled down her neck and he nosed underneath the t-shirt to find as much bare skin as he could without stripping her down. “I got you?”

“You got me…his game is over.”

As Nick’s hand slid up the t-shirt and his hand rested on the fullness of her breast, he looked into her eyes and smiled, truly smiled for the first time that evening. “Can our games begin?”

“I thought you’d never…”

His cell phone interrupted her answer, ringing their new favorite cleaning song.

“Ignore it.”

Nick got up and found his shorts, then his phone. “I can’t – Jesus…” He looked to make sure and sighed before answering. “It’s Ben.”

Nick sat back down on the bed, leaning into Lani’s massage as Ben started talking and crying and hiccupping and sputtering. “Ben, slow down…sl- sl – slow…” He gave up and just let him rant and rave, figuring he’d pull details out later. At one point, he even let Lani listen in seeing if she could pick up anything.

All he could get was Aaron, drinking, drugs, girls, sex, uncomfortable, not me, scared, and lots of sniffing between words. As the few words did settle in, Nick realized that part of the reason he wasn’t understanding was because he was so angry at what he could understand that his mind was simply fogging over.

Finally silence came across the phone lines and Nick took a breath and tried to figure out where to start. “Okay, where are you now?”

“In your house. Aaron’s over…at his…he’s got a girl…”

“Not in my house, right?”

“No, he said you’d kill him.”

“Damned straight. I might have to do that anyway.”

“No! No, Nick – if he finds out I called…”

“Well, Ben, what is it you want me to do then? If you don’t want him to know you’ve called me, how can I fix it?”

“I dunno…I feel so stupid.”

“Ben, you’re not stupid. You’re smart. You’re scared, you called me. We’ll figure something out.” He looked to Lani for ideas and she made an airplane sign with her hands. “Do you want me to fly down there and get you?”

“Maybe? Nick…”

“Want me to just fly down and kill him?”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“Ben, Jesus…I am not.” Nick fell back onto the bed and rolled his eyes at Lani, trying to hide his deep sigh. “Okay, you want out, am I right?”

“Yeah…but I don’t want Aaron to think I’m some kind of pussy.”

“Fuck Aaron right now, Ben. This is about you.” He looked at his watch and heaved another sigh as he sat back up, kissing Lani as he left her to go log onto her computer. “Lemme see what kind of flights I can find. Can you make it through tonight?”

“Yeah – I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want me to get you home early or should I come down there…what do you want, dude?”

“To stop feeling like an idiot.”

“What makes you an idiot? That you won’t do something you don’t want to do?”

“I thought…I didn’t think…” Ben sighed and Nick could hear him getting ice from the freezer. “…I didn’t think Aaron was into this shit. Why didn’t you tell me? You know some of this is hard for me to stay away from.”

“Ben, I tried to warn you. And…” Nick leaned back in the chair and stopped web surfing for a miracle. “…I guess I didn’t realize it was that bad – or that he’d be that bad around you – or that – Jesus, I have no idea what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just mad…I swore I’d stay away from the weed and I didn’t. I didn’t wanna look like a pussy.” Gulps followed and a satisfying burp put an exclamation point on Ben’s statement.

“Nice one. Did he pressure you?”

“No. Just being there is pressure, man.”

“Okay, I’m finding a flight that leaves at…Christ…6:30 tomorrow morning. Is that soon enough?”

“Nick, you don’t have to…”

“What do you want me to do, Ben!?” His raised voice brought Lani in from the room. As usual, her presence alone calmed him.

“Don’t you just have a magic wand or something?”

Nick quickly clicked through the website and booked his flight for two tickets, shocked when Lani stopped him just in time from going alone. “No magic wand, but Lani and I will be there around…um, looks like 9 in the morning. We have to fly into Key West.”

“Miss Romero too? Christ…”

“Yeah – Miss Romero too. We didn’t set a return flight, so if you wanna leave right away, stay, whatever…”

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“I’m the one embarrassed, Ben. I’m sorry…and just gear up because I’m going to kill my brother…for starters.”

“Shit.”

“You sure you’re okay tonight?”

“What would you do if I wasn’t?”

“Get in my car and drive – I could be there in about 7 hours.”

“No. Tomorrow. I’ll just…dig through your movies here. We’ve got food and,” he slugged back another gulp and belched again. “…drink, so I’m good. Maybe I’ll email Erin or something.”

“You are drinking water, yes?”

“Yes!”

“Sorry. Have…have you had any fun at all?”

“Yeah. I have. It’s not a total loss.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in the morning. Just keep to yourself, okay?”

Lani took the phone from Nick’s hand after she heard the good bye’s and kissed his neck before he could speak. “Don’t even start blaming yourself for this, Nick.”

“Whothefuckelse am I supposed to blame?”

“Um, how ‘bout Aaron’s father? You know, the adult who’s supposed to be in charge?”

“Why would he be in charge now, huh? He hasn’t been for years.”

Lani took hold of Nick’s hand and led him back to the bedroom, quietly listening to him rant and rave about his stupid family, his stupid brother, his stupid ideas and his stupid stupidity. She slid his shorts back down over his waist, wanting to get back to where they had been interrupted, wondering if he was even paying any attention.

She decided to keep going until he had no choice. Pushing him onto the bed, she stripped off her nightshirt and straddled his thighs, leaning up to let her nipples brush his bare chest. His hands said ‘yes’, sliding up her arms and burying into her hair, but his furrowed brow still said ‘no’. Gently kissing the wrinkles between his eyes, she giggled as she felt them relax beneath her lips and his warm hands go back to where they had been before the phone call – surrounding her breasts, helping his mind ignore what his body had already forgotten.

“What am I gonna do, Lani?”

“About Ben? Tonight, nothing.” She yanked the pillows out from behind him and dangled her breasts near his mouth as he fell fully on his back. “Tonight…” she hissed as his tongue and lips covered her nipple, “…tonight you’re gonna do me.”

As Nick pulled the rental car into his family’s property, he looked to Lani and let his hand leave the steering wheel, taking hers from her lap. “Thanks for comin’ – you probably just saved my brother’s life.”

“If you’ll have me, I can help talk to him too – I’m used to this kind of crap from kids.”

“I might…I just don’t know what to say, what to do, where to turn. My god, he’s my brother, and it’s my family, but I just don’t feel like I know any of them anymore. Or even WANT to!”

“I know. I wrote my brother off years ago. Let’s see if we can’t avoid that this time, huh?”

Ben ran out of Nick’s small home and Lani sat wide eyed. “This is your home? It’s a little hut!”

“Yep. Just wanted a small place and stuff. Gave the land to mom and dad, had this little thing built and all hell broke loose. I’ve never lived in it.”

As Lani gaped, Nick got out and slung an arm around Ben, leading him back into the house so no one would catch the tears coming out of Ben’s eyes again.

“Were you okay last night?”

“Yeah…yeah. It was kinda cool, actually. Walked out to the water and stuff. Came in, watched a movie, fell asleep like a little baby.”

“Then why the tears this morning?”

“Because I feel like an idiot.”

Lani stumbled in, too awestruck at the simple charm of this tiki hut home. “Nick, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Thanks. I didn’t – hired a decorator.” He popped her in the butt and went to the fridge happy that it was stocked well. At least the kid hadn’t starved. Grabbing water bottles for everyone, he gave one more look of confidence to Ben. “Okay, I’m gonna go scare the shit outta my brother. You two just stay here.”

“You sure you wanna do that alone?”

“Lani, I can’t tell you how sure I am. Might wanna find my video camera and tape this though. We could make a mint selling it on ebay.”

“I think I’ll just stay here.”

“Can I watch?”

Lani grabbed Ben and sat him on the couch, tossing him the remote. “Veg in front of the TV – and enjoy it. I’ll never tell you to do that again.”

Nick took a deep breath and walked outside, standing on his porch and just staring at the property around him. It was to have been his escape, his refuge, his sanctuary – and it never happened. Who would want to live in the middle of all of his family’s shit? He knew he didn’t…and the truth was, he didn’t want to deal with it right now either.

As he approached the main house, old feelings of tension and stress washed over him in a way that made him stop before he even opened the door to his brother’s downstairs apartment. How had his home, at one time, the place that actually was his refuge and sanctuary, turned into the place he least wanted to be? Inhabited by the people he most least wanted to be with? Had his absence done that? Had his success done that? Or maybe it was his recent failure? And why was he suddenly feeling responsible for a mess that he truly did nothing to create?

It was the way of the Carter’s for years and he was about to put an end to it.

Nick flung the screen door open and pushed the lightweight wooden door hard enough that it cracked against the wall. No one locked their doors out here – no one could get into this place uninvited. The stench from Aaron’s two room apartment hit him as soon as his foot crossed the threshold. Marijuana, beer, sex, and god knew what else. At one time, that combination would almost make Nick hard. It was the smell of a good night. Now – it made him queasy. His brother wasn’t supposed to follow his tracks this closely.

As he pushed the beaded divider aside into Aaron’s bedroom, he felt like he was looking into a time machine. A mirrored time machine. Gangly teenaged male legs stuck out from underneath tangled bed sheets. Shapely feminine legs tangled the sheets in another direction and a curtain of brown hair peeked out near the sloppily piled pillows. No sign of Aaron’s head and no one had budged from Nick’s noisy entrance.

He seethed as he looked around the room. Bottles of beer littered the floor, spent roaches filled ashtrays and saucers from his dad’s kitchen. Looking more closely at the dresser, Nick’s calm anger gave way to fury when he saw the familiar site of cocaine paraphernalia. He’d known. He had. He ignored. He didn’t want to face it. He didn’t want to listen to Aaron arguing his preaching. He didn’t want to parent the child. It wasn’t his job.

And look where that logic had taken him. At his brother’s bedside, ready to blow a gasket because he had crossed a line. A line Nick never imagined he would ever have. A line that said, “the safety of my new family is more important than the happiness of my blood.” He gave up his attempt at being calm and bent over the foot of the bed, yanking the sheets and blankets off the sleeping bodies.

“What the FUCK!?”

Aaron unearthed stark naked, jumping over the brunette and onto the floor, grabbing the sheet out of Nick’s hand to cover up. Or attempting to. Nick wouldn’t let go.

“Nope. Be naked.”

Nick finally took his eyes off of his shocked brother and looked to the bed, seeing not one, but two young girls clinging onto each other for some sort of protection from their nudity.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Aaron found his comforter, tossed aside hours before, and threw it on the bed to help cover the girls.

“What am I doing??” He chucked the sheet to Aaron, sick of seeing his dangerously skinny body shivering in the air conditioned cold. “You’ve left Ben over at my house totally alone…you- you-…”

“I had a girl for Ben! He’s the one who pussied out! What’d he do, call you crying or something?”

“Shut up! Just…” Nick scoured the room for anything that resembled female clothing and threw it onto the bed. “Get dressed and get the fuck out. Party’s over.”

The girls didn’t move but to look to Aaron, fear written all over their faces.

Aaron saw his boxers and slipped them on, telling the girls to get dressed and wait in his truck. “I’ll get you home…Christ.”

Nick glared at his brother as the girls scurried to get their clothes on, bras dangling from their arms instead of taking the time to put them on, the tense silence making them clumsy and awkward, not the hot hootchies Aaron had seem them as hours before. As the brunette walked by Nick on her way out, her demeanor changed and she flipped her hair in his face.

“You’re still a better fuck, Nick. He needs work.”

Nick’s blood ran cold as he slowly turned to look the tart in the eye. Sure enough, he’d been with her. One of the little hootchies at a local bar that he’d picked up one of his first nights after moving to Marathon. Aaron was fucking his leftovers. “Get. Out.”

As her partner in crime disappeared outside, she was feeling brave, her embarrassment completely gone by way of cocky pride. “Wanna meet up later? Maybe with your brother? Hands on training, you know?”

Pushing women around wasn’t something Nick ever wanted to go back to from his days of drinking and drugging, but today his priorities had skewed. Besides, she was a far cry from a ‘woman’. She was mud. One hand landed on her shoulder and the other grabbed her arm as Nick forcefully escorted her to the door and shoved her outside, slamming the wooden door behind her. He spun around to his brother who was trying to hide evidence of the night’s debauchery.

“Give it up, bro. You’re fucked.”

Aaron stood from picking up beer bottles and wobbled, having to sit back down on the bed. “Not like you’ve never done this shit before.”

“Not the point, Aaron. I sent Ben here because I thought you two could…I thought…” Nick looked down at his hands and remembered that he still had a pair of thongs hanging off of a finger. He angrily shot it across the room and screamed. No words came out, just animalistic rage. He seethed as Aaron sat, the haze of the drugs and booze still evident in his blank stare. “I TRUSTED you!” Nick grabbed a full ashtray and flung it across the room, only his shouts overpowering the crash against the wall. “I fucking TRUSTED you!!”

“What do you want me to say, Nick, huh? I didn’t think he was so uptight!”

“He’s 14, Aaron! He doesn’t live your life. He doesn’t…are you this completely clueless?”

“I’m sorry, Nick…I thought he’d play along. I thought…”

“You thought nothing. You thought about you and only you – just like da-…”

“Nick?”

He swirled around at the familiar voice and wanted to die of embarrassment. Lani wasn’t supposed to see this part of his life. This mess that his family was. “Baby – go back to the house.”

“No…” She stepped inside and smiled at Aaron, patting Nick’s arm as she walked by him. “…looks like you had a heckuva party goin’ here.”

“Yeah. Guess so.”

She gave Nick a look that told him to leave and for reasons he didn’t quite understand, he did just that, grabbing the keys to Aaron’s truck on the way out mumbling something about getting the girls home. As the screen door slammed behind him he bumped square into Ben.

“Is he mad at me?”

“You don’t need to worry about that, Ben.” He draped his arm around Ben’s shoulder and walked him away from the main house, away from the truck with the girls in it, away – so he hoped – from the nightmare that had become his brother. “Are you mad at me?”

“Huh? Why would I be?”

“I trusted Aaron – you trusted me. I fucked up.”

“Uh, no. Aaron fucked up…”

Not wanting to discuss it one second more, Nick looked into the distance at his house and sighed. “You okay for a few minutes more? I wanna get the girls at least to the main drag. K-Mart. Something. God.”

“I’m good. I’m…I’m sorry, Nick.”

“No, I am. I knew this wasn’t a good idea and should have stopped you from coming. I just thought you’d never forgive me.”

“I probably wouldn’t have.”

“I guess we’re both stupid then.”

“Eh, it’s worked for two years – I’d say our stupid’s good.”

Nick was no sooner parking Aaron’s truck than Lani and Aaron came out of the downstairs apartment.

“Do, um…do you think Ben’ll talk to me?” Nick had no idea what Lani had said or done, but the teenager standing in front of him was not the same teenager he’d left only minutes before. His shoulders were slumped, eye contact was impossible and he was barely understandable because of the tell-tale “I’m embarrassed” mumble.

“I dunno – guess you’d better come and find out.” Nick tried to read Lani, but couldn’t. She was in full work mode. Social worker. Friend. Mentor. Confidante. He suddenly felt like a client again. A client with a secret - he knew where to kiss her to get her to smile. So he did.

And she did. Only instead of softening her body to his form, she moved away and pointed an accusing finger. “Más tarde.”

“Oh, don’t go talkin’ all Spanish on me…you got somethin’ to say to me…”

“Aaron, Christ.” Nick thwapped Aaron on the back of the head while Lani just laughed at them. “Paranoid much? She just told me to kiss later.”

He rubbed his head and stumbled for a moment. “Oh. I guess I’m nervous. And I’m still hung over, ass…that sucked.”

“Tough. And you should be nervous. I hope he reams you a new asshole.”

“Thanks, bro. You’re a real pal.”

“Any time.”

Nick charged right into his house, Lani close on his heels, stopping when they realized that Aaron wasn’t with them anymore. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes as big as saucers. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Growing pains. Get up here.” Nick stood in the door way and held out a hand, saying more to Aaron in one gesture than he could have in a good two hour lecture.

“I’m so sorry, Nick.”

“Good – now tell that to Ben.” Nick pushed him into the house and the two teenagers stared each other down from across the room.

Ben looked to Nick who suddenly wasn’t sure if he should stay or go, but Lani answered it for him by pulling him into the kitchen to let the boys talk. Present, but not.

“I fucked up, Ben.”

“Ya’ think?”

“Jesus…you gonna be snotty about this?”

“I might…not like I didn’t spend the last two nights here all by my fucking self, Aaron.”

“I know…I mean, I had a girl for yo-…” Aaron stopped himself when the glare from Ben’s eyes almost burned a hole through his head. “You didn’t want a girl…”

“No, I didn’t want a girl. I didn’t want weed, I didn’t want booze and I didn’t want blow. That’s not how I like to have a good time anymore and I TOLD you that!”

“I know. You did, but…but…” Aaron plopped down on the couch holding his head in his hands, having nothing intelligent to say. Lani had reasoned any argument he’d had right out of him and with her in the kitchen with his brother…he was out of any defense.

“Headache? I hope you puke ‘til your guts shrivel up.”

“I don’t puke hangovers.”

“I suppose that makes you a tough one, huh?” Ben looked toward the kitchen and saw Nick’s shadow moving about, knowing he was listening, feeling comfort from having him there again. Strength. But when his eyes trailed back to Aaron, thin, pale and barely able to keep his eyes open, he just wanted to be sick. “I can’t believe you’re Nick’s brother. Don’t you know how much he loves you??” It was too much. He was sick of running, but it was the only thing he could think to do. He stormed out of the room and into Nick’s bedroom, slamming the door behind him. That oughta do it. How could Aaron act like this when he had...

Aaron walked in uninvited and ignored the glare he received in welcome. “You’re not gonna say that shit to me and then walk out, Ben. No fucking way. You have no idea…no goddamned idea.”

“Don’t I? Yeah, I don’t have the fancy cars and the apartment all to myself and the 10 million teenaged girls ready and willing to fuck my brains out. I don’t have a trust fund or a bank account either. But I know your brother…” Ben stopped, his heavy, angered breathing matching Aaron’s. “…or is that your problem? You jealous that I have Nick now and you don’t? You’re too busy fucking and snorting it away?”

As soon as it was out of his mouth, Ben regretted it.

“So, because I have money, I’m supposed to be Mr. Model Citizen, is that what you’re saying?”

“Aaron, I make minimum wage doing your brother’s gardening, my mother’s dating a man who tried to molest me, my sister’s on the same path my mom’s on, and I’m the goddamned man of the house and I’m only 14 years old. And you know what? I don’t do anything to try and make it all go away.” He took a breath and wished for the floor to swallow him up. “Anymore. I’m saying that you have so damned much you’re just wasting it…”

“…just like his brother did.”

Ben and Aaron turned to Nick’s voice, paling at his presence and quickly rehashing what they’d said – making sure they didn’t say anything to slam the one thing they both agreed on – their love for Nick.

“So, because you had a big rock star life, it’s okay for him? I’m just bein’ a pussy??”

“Ben, did I SAY that?”

“No.” Ben sat on the edge of the bed, glaring at Aaron who humbly sat down next to him.

“You know, Aaron – you saw me go through this shit. You saw me high. Stoned. Drunk. Jesus, I performed on YOUR stage drunker than hell.”

“What’s your point?”

“You also screamed at me and yelled at me to stop. That you were afraid I was going to die. That I was wasting my life. My talent. Wasting us.”

“Yeah and you ignored me.”

Nick winced at that truth. He thought his argument was a good one. “Yeah, I did. So, what was that? Your invitation to be an asshole just like I was? That what you look up to me for? The great dipshit druggie?”

“No. But it sure helped you numb shit, didn’t it? And look at your life now. It’s all rosey and sweet. Well, here’s a newsflash big bro. Mine ain’t. I need numb right now.”

Ben shot a glare over to Aaron, disbelief shown in his gaping mouth. “You needed numb while I was here? Sorry I was such a lousy guest, Aaron…”

“No…no, that’s not what I mean. I mean, here. Home. Mom. Dad. My career is for shit…god, you really have no idea, do you?”

“You’re sixteen, Aaron. It’s not like your life is over.”

“No? What the hell else am I gonna do?” Aaron stood to leave, tired of the inquisition. Tired of the judgment. Tired.

Nick stopped him with his arm and pushed him back on the bed. “I’m not done yet. And neither are you. We still have to go talk to Dad.”

“God, one fucking drunken night and now I’m suddenly a problem child.”

“Uh, Aaron. You’ve been drunk every night I’ve been here.”

Now Aaron was glaring. “Thanks. Where’d you find this goody-two-shoes anyway? The candy store?”

“You’re right. We’re done. Get the fuck out of here.” Nick moved his arm from the door and let Aaron go under, knowing Lani wouldn’t let him leave the house. This conversation was getting him nowhere.

Ben threw himself back onto the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. “Why do I feel so guilty when he’s being the ass?”

“It’s the drugs, Ben. That’s not my brother.”

“Huh? You’re just gonna let him act like that because he’s doped up?”

“No. Am I suddenly talking a different language than you, Ben? You’ve never second guessed me as much as you have today.”

“I guess I don’t know what to think of anything all of a sudden.”

“Don’t let Aaron fuck up what we have, Ben…please. I mean, I should have…I should have stopped you from coming down here because something deep inside of me said he might be into this shit, but…”

“No…we’re fine. I’m just…foggy.” He slapped his arm onto the mattress and sat up, leaning on Nick’s shoulder when he joined him on the bed. “But, Nick. That was your brother…you need to face that.”

“Thanks, Dr. Phil. I meant that we weren’t talking to Aaron there – we were talking to the drugs. He’s coming down, he’s hung over from the booze – he’s just a shit face from the partying is all. He’s in there somewhere…but Aaron wouldn’t have talked to either of us like that.”

“But he did, Nick.”

“No. Yes. Just…I don’t expect you to not be mad at him for doggin’ you like this. I don’t. But…what he’s said today? You need to somehow let that slide off, man.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, Ben’s head never leaving Nick’s shoulder and Nick’s fingers never leaving his own mouth as he bit his nails down to nubs. “Does he need help?”

“He probably does. I doubt he’ll agree to it though.”

“He gets a vote?”

“If we want the help to actually help, yeah – he has to make the decision himself. Trust me, you can’t be forced into it. Not totally.”

“Did you…did you ever need to get help?” Ben finally lifted his head, suddenly looking to Nick like a small boy – a child looking to his father for confirmation that he indeed was the man of honor and integrity every small boy thinks his father is. And now Nick got the privilege of letting him down.

“I had some out-patient stuff, yeah. Probably could have used a good inpatient program a few times. It was pretty bad.”

“I guess I thought you just drank too much…dabbled in the other stuff.”

“I dabbled at being sober.”

“So, this uh…this looks kinda familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Probably why dad’s ignoring it. He can’t deal with it twice. Hell, three times. BJ’s a walking drug store.” Nick sighed and ran his hand down his face, looking up to see Lani standing at the door.

“Aaron’s ready to go talk to your father.”

“We’ll be right out.”

She blew him a kiss and disappeared again, leaving Ben and Nick in their tense silence. “We? WE!? I gotta go over there too?”

“Oh yeah, dude. He tells my dad one lie and you jump on it.”

“Oh Christ…”

Aaron yanked the door opened and finally realized he had company with him. “What is this? A fuckin’ circus?”

“Pretty much – get in there.” Nick pushed Ben, who fell into Aaron, who stopped quickly knocking Ben back into Nick, who promptly stepped back on Lani’s toes. “A very bad circus.”

Nick’s stomach dropped to his toes when he looked around. He hadn’t been here since his mom left and…well, it just didn’t look like home anymore. There were areas with no furniture that had once been filled with thick, traditional pieces, any flat space loaded up with family photos. Now, all that was left were carpet dents and…

“Nick! I didn’t know you were coming down!” …and Dad.

“Neither did I.” They hugged, Nick not really wanting it until his dad’s arm were around him. Then he remembered, this is where home is – it’s not in the furniture – it’s in the people. “I, uh…I want you to meet someone…” He pulled Lani to him and blushed. He felt like a junior high school kid. “This is, um…Lani – Solana…Romero – my girlfriend.”

Bob raised his eyebrows and looked her over, quickly approving. “I didn’t know…”

“No, you didn’t…and um…look. We’re not here for a social call. Ben called me.” He shot a glare at Aaron to gather up some strength. “Do you have any idea what the guys have been doing since he got here?”

“No, I figured they could take care of themselves…why, what’s up?” He motioned for them to follow him into the kitchen, completely ignoring or oblivious to the tension between his four visitors. “Coffee?”

“No, Mr. Carter…thanks. Look, I think we all need to sit down.”

Everyone but Aaron took a seat around the kitchen table and Lani pulled a manila folder out of her bag before Bob could start to ask questions. “Ben called Nick last night very upset because Aaron has been doing a bit too much partying…and he didn’t want to be a part of it.”

Bob looked incredulously at Aaron and Nick almost lost his eyeballs to the back of his head when they rolled. Like the man didn’t know. “Aaron – what’s this about?”

“Nuttin’.”

“Bullshit.” Ben was petrified but he was not going to sit there and listen to Aaron imply that Ben had been lying. “You’ve been drunk every night I’ve been here, you’ve left me alone at Nick’s place so you can have your women and you’ve been smokin’ so much weed, I’m surprised a plant’s not growin’ outta your ears.”

Bob had nothing to say, so he took the easy way out – ignoring the problem. “And what does this have to do with you, Miss Romero?”

“Well, when Ben called, I told Nick I’d come along because Ben’s been a client of mine for years. I work at the community center where Nick mentored Ben after his arrest.” She waited for Bob’s anger to soften in admission to his family’s failings. “Ben’s very special to me and to Nick and I thought I could be of some help – as a friend. But, I came prepared in case that role had to change.” She patted her folder, and opened it. “And it has…”

“So, I still don’t know why you’re here.”

“Right now, Mr. Carter, I’m here on behalf of the state of Florida, my employer. As a social worker, I am obligated by law to report any neglect or abuse I see either on the job or off…and permitting illegal behavior of a minor, especially under your own roof, is considered a form of neglect in this state.”

“You’re telling me it’s my fault that Aaron parties too hard?”

“Yes, sir, I am. He’s a minor. Therefore, he’s your responsibility…as well as Mrs. Carter’s.”

“There is no Mrs. Carter – yet.”

Lani narrowed her eyes as he minced words with her. “Your ex-wife, then…and yes, any future Mrs. Carter there might be. But before you get too defensive, sir, I have a plan to avoid any reporting of what I’ve seen here…only if you and Aaron can agree to the terms.”

“You’re blackmailing me.”

“No. I’m giving you an opportunity to fix your situation before I make the state of Florida come do it for you. The decision is totally yours and I’m not going to bat an eye either way.”

Nick leaned back in his chair, enjoying watching his girl take total control of the situation. He used to think she was a vampire, and he was right…and at the moment, he knew that’s what he had fallen in love with before because the reminder of it was making him fall in love with her all over again.

“You like this, huh Nick? Think you’re hot stuff?”

“No, Dad…truth is, I’m humiliated that this is what my family has come to. But yeah – Lani makes me very proud.”

“Okay, can we…can we get back to Aaron here?” Lani opened her folder and handed a list of names to Bob. “This is a list of drug counselors here in the Keys, up in Tampa, in New York and LA – wherever you might happen to be. I know and recommend all of them. What I’m agreeing to offer you is a chance to meet with one of them and set up an outpatient counseling schedule. For you, for Jane, and definitely for Aaron.” She handed him another sheet and continued. “You also said ‘yet’ when a Mrs. was suggested. Are you getting remarried?”

“Yes – two weeks.”

“TWO WEEKS!!?? Christ, Dad, you plannin’ on filling me in??”

“Didn’t think you gave a damn. You wanna come down, come down.”

“Fuck that…”

Lani shot a look at Nick and he backed down, lifting his hands in surrender. “Sorry – go on.”

“Okay, then I’d request that…” she looked to Nick for the future wife’s name and got it in a semi-audible grunt, “…Ginger be a part of this too, although it’s not required. My main concern is Aaron.”

“And it’s not mine?”

“Mr. Carter, I’m not giving accusations on how much you love or don’t love your son. I’m telling you what I saw and what I’m willing to do to help you out here.”

“Right. Go on.” He was not visibly convinced, but he also knew he was completely out of options – shy of kicking his oldest son and her snotty girlfriend out of his house.

“Okay, so here’s the deal. I give you a month to contact one of these counselors. I’ll be in touch with you to see who you’re meeting with, I’ll confirm with the counselor and a relationship with be set. If Aaron needs to travel, that counselor will connect you with someone in that area for his scheduled appointment times. The counselors I’ve listed specialize in addiction, but will also help with coping skills from the divorce, fame, how it all works with Aaron’s head.”

“I don’t get how one rowdy week means that he needs drug counseling.”

“I didn’t come here thinking that either, but what I saw going on in his room indicates a habitual user. The fact that he’s standing here in this kitchen and has been able to hold complete coherent conversations with us after such extensive drug and alcohol consumption in one evening, indicates that he is a habitual user. Do you want to know what we found in his room this morning or do you just want to go on my word?”

“Lani! No! Please…don’t…just…” The glares shot to Aaron from both his father and his brother, pushed him back to the counter he had been quietly leaning against. He was screwed.

“Yes – I think I would.”

“Glad to hear it. His floor is littered with beer bottles, Mr. Carter. Not sprinkled, not dotted – littered. We had to kick some aside just to get in. The shagged rug walls smell of marijuana, the bed linens, even the clothes strewn all over his furniture. There are ashtrays and saucers full of spent roaches. Full. Not a few, but a good 10 containers are completely overflowing with marijuana cigarettes. There were rolled dollar bills, glass plates and plenty of residual cocaine powder sprinkled around to show that this is not a now and again thing. And, while I didn’t see this for myself, I am told he had the company of two women over night.”

“That’s not illegal, Jesus.” Aaron had slid to the floor, and was studying the intricate ins and outs of the stucco ceiling above him.

“As a matter of fact, Aaron – it is. You’re a minor. It’s a law no one enforces or pushes all that often, but it’s still a law.”

Bob sat stunned and virtually speechless only able to mumble how shocked he was, how unbelievable it was, how out of control it all was.

Lani reached out and gently touched his arm. “That’s why I’m doing this, okay? You didn’t know - you should have known – now you do. This whole divorce, custody, emancipation, money…its taken a toll on him and you can’t ignore it any more.”

“How is Jane going to be accountable for this – she’s partially responsible.”

“If you give me the number of her attorney, I’ll take care of it when we get home. You don’t need to worry about it.”

Bob nodded, somewhat thankful he didn’t have to deal with her any more than absolutely necessary. “Okay, so I call one of these people, set stuff up…what if something falls through?”

“It won’t. That’s what this second paper is for. This is a signed agreement between you, me and Aaron that says you’ll do this. If you don’t by…” she pulled the paper back and calculated approximately a month into the future, writing it into the proper space, “…April 15th – a nice easy date to remember and enough time after your wedding – then I’ll go to the proper authorities and it become yet another legal issue for you and your family to deal with.”

“And then you’ll have to deal with me, because Dad – this whole thing just makes me sick. Didn’t you learn SHIT from me???” He turned to Aaron, “Didn’t YOU?”

“Nick, I’m sorry! I told you I was sorry and I meant it – you just have no idea what the fuck it’s been like here!”

Lani took the signed paper from Bob and quietly thanked him, signaling to Ben to leave with her, letting the Carter’s to maybe get some words out that have needed to get out for a long time. As they got to the front door, Aaron ran after them.

“Ben! Wait!”

“Aaron – you need to go talk to your family.”

“I know, Lani, just…” He looked to Ben and the walls that had been slowly crumbling, finally fell completely. “Ben, I’m really sorry – I let you down. I disappointed you…I really fucked up.”

“Yeah, you did. But it’s okay.” He grabbed the door and turned back, allowing a bit of sinful pride to creep into his voice. “See, I still have Nick.”