I don’t remember when or how it all started. All I remember is the pain. Constant. Blinding. Unbearable.

One wonders why sex is a crucial part of life and apart of what love is about. If you were to look past the obvious, you would realize that sex is a bonding experience. To allow one to get inside another; to feel their blood course through your own veins; to steal their breath and allow your own proof of existence to mingle together; to hear their heart and yours beat in unison; to taste one’s tears of joy and fulfillment. You’re left unified, apart of each other in more ways than one, and in some cases a new life springs forth.

What I endure is like that of sex. I enter another being, not psychically. I can smell their blood, hear their breath, feel their heartbeat, see their thoughts. The only difference is… I feel no pleasure. Only pain. I get into another by a simple touch, and it’s not intended to be intimate.

When I’m in a sea of people, I feel as if I’m drowning; complete chaos erupts in my head. I can hear them, but no words are spoken. It’s defeaning, hearing words that were meant to be unsaid.

I know what you’re thinking right now… you’re wondering what I’m talking about and if I’m going crazy. That’s what they all think. That’s how I feel at times. Scratch that… I know nothing of how I feel because another being consumes me, I don’t exist.

I can no longer touch as I please, for the second I make psychical contact with another, I endure everything they endure. When they laugh, I laugh… when they cry, I cry… when they hurt, I hurt. I’m able to help those who are weak and cannot carry their burdens. I’m able to hear the silent words of those who are crying out. I’m able to interfere in one’s life and possibly save them… all by a simple touch.

There was a knock on the door. I clenched my eyes close as the sounds reverberated through my empty house, going straight into my head and pounding rhythmically. I was holed up in my room, and to a normal person the knocking would’ve sounded distant, or barely even heard… but I’m not normal, and every sound, even barely audible, transmits back to me so loudly.

The knocking continued, so did the pounding in my head, and I wish to god that it would all stop. I placed the pillow over my head in hopes to drown out the sound, but it worsened when I picked up who it was that was outside of my house, constantly knocking. I could feel his presence, feel the anxiety coursing through his mind. The loud jingling of keys only proved my mind correct. Nick.

I heard the door open and close, and heard his heavy footsteps trudge through the dark house. Why I gave them spare keys to my house, I’ll never know, but there was no way to stop Nick from coming to find me, there was no place for me to hide.

I could feel his presence looming outside my closed door. I sighed heavily, “What do you want Nick?” I smirked as I felt a sense of puzzlement and awe flash through his mind. He’s wondering how I knew it was him and… does he think I’m crazy?

“How did you…”

I cut him off before he could even get his question out. “There’s only four guys I gave spare keys too, and for the life of me I’ll never know why. Three out of the four guys never use their spare keys when they come to my house, leaving just one guy left.”

There was silence on the other side. Silence is golden.

“Can I…”

“Sure, why not?” I cut off his question again.

I heard my bedroom doorknob twist and I could hear the hinges creak a bit when he pushed the door open. “Please don’t turn on the lights.” I warned.

I heard his footsteps once again and even though my eyes were closed and a pillow was placed over my head, I could mentally see him slowly approach me, as if I was watching a movie of my current actions. He was looking down at me, I could feel his eyes burning holes right through my pillow.

“Did you pull the shortest straw?” I asked. I knew why he was here.

“If that’s what you think.” he replied.

I smirked once again. He finally caught on to the fact that two can play that game. It’s useless for him to ask questions anyway.

“What are you here for?” I questioned, and although I knew, I wanted to hear it come from him… just to prove my thoughts correct.

“We’re worried about you man.” Bingo. “We don’t know what’s going on with you, but we want to help.”

I scoffed. “How can you help me when you all think I’m crazy.” I heard his breathing hitch. I ripped the pillow off my head. “When I was laying in that hospital bed, you all just stared at me… looking lost, confused, concerned… scared. You can’t help me Nick… you fear me, and not in a sense of overpowering but… you all think I’m crazy.”

“That’s not true Alex…”

“Alright then Nickolas,” I shot up into a sitting position in my bed, “look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t think I’m crazy.” I didn’t need the light to see if he was looking at me. My eyes were piercing into him, but his eyes weren’t piercing back. It was cast downwards. “That’s what I thought.”

“Jay, don’t…”

“It’s what I think.” I slowly drawled out. “Yeah Nick… I think I’m crazy… which is why I refuse to help myself in anyway. Like I said, you can’t help or even begin to understand someone when you think they’re crazy. So I’m doing what’s best for me, best for all of us… so you guys will stop staring at me as if I’m some sort of freak and I will no longer have to put up with all this bullshit… all this pain.”

“So, you expect to hide from the world forever?” he exploded. I winced and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt his anger radiate from him and enter my body with such force. “Locking yourself up in your house isn’t going to solve anything, nor is it going to change people’s thoughts about you.”

“Nick…” I whimpered.

“I think this whole situation is crazy. I don’t think you’re crazy. We don’t know what to do, we’re having a hard time with thinking rationally, but all we know is that we want to help you, that we have to help you.”

“Nick…” I choked out. The pain was causing me to slip away.

“I may not know how it feels to be surrounded by people you somehow know are afraid of you because they think you’re crazy, but I’m willing to understand and do whatever it takes to help you.”

“THEN HELP ME BY CALMING YOURSELF THE FUCK DOWN!” I exclaimed. The throbbing pain in my head threatened to take my consciousness, but as soon as I felt Nick slowly calm his anger down, I felt the pain ever so slowly dissipate.

I could hear his erratic heartbeat pound my eardrums. “Please calm down… please calm down…” I whispered softly to myself, but those words were meant for Nick. Once I heard his heartbeat on a regular pace, I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and kind of just slumped, psychically and mentally exhausted.

“Don’t… ever… do that… again.” I got out breathlessly.

“Do what again?”

There it was… his feeling of confusion and fear. I hate it when they fear me. “Yell at me.” That’s not what I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t want to freak him out more than he already was. “Please don’t yell at me again.”

I know I sounded like a little child, and in Nick’s eyes I was probably reminiscent to when I was younger at that moment. After that experience, I was left raw and vulnerable, too tired to do much of anything for myself. I felt this unbelievable sense of calm and protectiveness as Nick slowly made his way to my bed and sat down next to me. I sighed heavily when I realized that for that moment, Nick allowed to push his sense of fear aside and decided to come to the aid of his brother. Come to the aid of me.

I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders and I allowed him to pull me into a hug. I was older, and honestly this was the first time I had ever allowed Nick to console me and to surrender absolute trust to him. Deep down inside, I didn’t like this feeling of vulnerability and appearing so broken in front of the youngest, but the other part of me didn’t care. I wanted this. I needed this. I need his help.

“I won’t yell at you again Alex.” I heard him whisper as he still held me in his hug.

He was willing to understand me… and I was ready to allow him in. I need help.

I could kill Nick for dragging me to do this, I really could. There I sat, on Kevin’s couch, my eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses as always; and there they were, sitting directly across from me. Kevin was seated in his lone lounge chair while both Brian and Howie were situated on the loveseat. Nick was standing behind the three of them, his arms folded across his chest. Did I mention that I really wanted to kill Blondie right now?

“Well,” I drawled out, “here I am for your entertainment. Who wants to go first?” The silence remained, they were trying to carefully pick out their words. Brian was at a loss of what to say or do. Howie still had a sense of fear within him… fear, of me, his best friend. Kevin seemed a bit calm, but just as confused as well.

“Why don’t you start off by trying to explain to us what exactly it is… that you can do.” Kevin finally questioned.

I ripped my sunglasses off, revealing my dark chocolate eyes. I stared into each and every one of them, trying to read them as they waited for my answer. “With a simple touch, I can become you.”

Brian’s face contorted in puzzlement, “What do you mean with a touch you can… become us?”

Sighing heavily, I allowed myself to recline back onto Kevin’s couch, preparing myself for a long story and a slew of questions, which some still remained unanswered to even myself. “If I were to touch you right now Brian… place my hand on your arm or whatever, YOUR senses become alive within me. I’ll be able to see what you see, hear what you hear, smell what you smell, taste what you taste, feel what you feel. Whatever you go through, I’ll go through as well. If I were to touch you right now, and you fell and scraped your knee, I will feel that pain. In some instances, I’ve even sustained the actual injury that was inflicted on another. Without touching anyone, I can read your thoughts, sense your emotions, feel your aura if you will. But, with one touch… you and I are basically one in the same, without actually taking on your physical features or character traits for that matter.”

“How is that even possible?”

I shrugged, “Your guess is as good as mine. I really don’t know; all I know is that I can do all this, and possibly more.”

“Possibly more?” Kevin repeated, “What do you mean by that?”

I shook my head, “I’m exactly sure of it all at the moment, I’m still trying to figure all this shit out.”

“So what exactly happened… that night?” Howie voiced for the first time, referring to the first night I learned of this new fucked up “curse” and was found by a store manager.

“I had just gone to the grocery store to do some shopping. On my way into the store, this guy was running up from behind and had accidentally ran into me. He knocked me down to the ground, apologized and was off. I found it odd, but shook it off. It wasn’t until I got into the store that I began to feel a bit… different. I all of a sudden felt… scared, as if I knew someone was out to get me. Once I felt that, I noticed a group of guys running past the store as well, as if in the same direction that one guy was running. As I continued to walk around…”

I paused for a moment, trying to think of how I could explain it to them, “my surroundings seemed to change. For some reason, the clerks around me began watching me and following me. I had this sudden urge to get out of there, and as I tried to run out, that’s when they all came after me.”

“Did they actually put their hands on you?” Kevin asked. The ever protective brother.

Again, I shook my head, “No… and that’s what was weird about it. They had grabbed me and held me down… and we were talking about money… they were demanding money from me, and for some reason I told them that I’d get them their money.”

The energy in the room dramatically changed, they were all even more confused. “Did you owe them money?”

“NO!” I snapped. I really didn’t mean to, but I suppose I was getting frustrated with the questions, and even more frustrated that they didn’t understand and I don’t think there was any way that I could make them understand. “The conversation we were having had nothing to do with me, or them for that matter. It was then that I realized that I had became that man that had ran into me. I was that man, and the clerks was the group of men that were running after him. But, the reenactment of it all… it was all in my head, like a vision or… premonition. I was now living the situation he was in, but my mind’s vision made it so that the situation was happening to me… like, although I was this man, I was still me and the supposed guys that caught me were still the clerks.”

“So, what about your injuries?” Brian asked, pointing to my bandaged arms.

I looked down, “That’s why I said I sometimes sustain an injury that’s inflicted on another. The store manager was the one that snapped me out of my… I guess you can call it episode. Apparently, they said I just dropped to the ground and they found me covered in blood, there were long gashes that ran up and down my arm. My head gave me a vision of all that man was going through, while at the same time the I actually had my arms cut up as well… but, nothing actually happened to me. No clerks chased after me, caught me, held me down and had slashed away at me with a knife… none of it actually happened, it was all in my head. Yet, I was left to bare the wounds.”

“So…” Kevin drawled out, sounding as if he were trying to piece all that I was telling them together, “you mean to tell me that.. you can see what a person is going through, and your mind will play YOUR life as if you’re actually the one going through it, you’ll feel everything the person is feeling, you know their thoughts and emotions and everything, and sometimes, you can even physically receive the injuries they sustain?”

I nodded, “Pretty much. If I were to accidentally touch a random dude outside who was walking his dog… we’d be talking normally like how we are, but his thoughts, feelings and emotions will be on my mind. If he’s feeling happy and chipper, I’ll more than likely be inclined to feel the same way. If he were stopped by someone for a chat, in my head I would be having the same exact conversation he’s having with one of you guys, when it’s actually not happening at all… but, my head gives me that vision.”

“So, what about that guy that ran into you?” Nick spoke out for the first time since we’ve entered this house, “Have cops found him or the guys that were chasing after him?”

I shrugged, “I’m really not sure. But… I think what happened to me in the grocery store was a premonition.”

“So… if you have these premonitions, you very well could have… interfered with what was going to happen that night if you wanted to… right?”

“I think so… but I’m not sure.”

Kevin sighed heavily, “This is crazy.”

I scoffed, “You’re fucking telling me. To sit here and tell you that shit goes on in my mind is no easy feat. When the cops showed up at the scene, I could hear their thoughts and feel their emotions… they thought I was fucking crazy, ready to admit me into some kind of psyche ward and thought that I inflicted these injuries upon myself. If it wasn’t for the workers at the store, who actually witnessed me drop to the ground and then all of a sudden had these bloody injuries, it wouldn’t have been a very good case to fight. They were able to tell the cops there was NO possible way I could inflict these kind of injuries to myself… which, as you can imagine, made the cops jobs that much harder.”

I stared at them for a while, then eventually allowed my eyes to drift close, no longer wanting to see the bewilderment that clouded their eyes. “Without even touching anyone, I can feel their emotions… and it leaves me completely mentally and physically drained.” I opened my eyes once more and looked over at Nick, “You didn’t know this, but when I begged you to calm down and to not yell at me… it was because… I could feel how angry you were. Your energy will drain me of mines… it’s painful.”

Kevin opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly interjected to answer his thought before he could speak it… to prove to him that I wasn’t fucking crazy. “I know it’s ridiculous and no one would believe me Kevin…” I glanced up to look into his eyes, which were widened a bit in shock. “when I was released from the hospital, I wracked my brain with what to do or who I could see to help me, yet came up with nothing. My best bet, I figured, was to just stay away from you all, and everyone else… when I’m alone, I don’t hurt. It’s why I locked myself up in my house, I was tired of feeling the fear and… puzzlement you all felt. The last thing I wanted or needed was to know that my own four brothers I’ve known practically my whole life now feared me.”

Kevin looked down, ashamed and not really liking the fact that I could easily be in his head now. “We can’t let you do this Alex…” he said in a low, soft tone. “We’re not gonna let you go through this alone. I mean, sure we’re scared… if I were in your shoes, you’d all be scared of me. Of course we’re confused, because what else are we supposed to think? We all don’t know what’s going on, but we do know that something we thought to be impossible is taking place. But having you hide from us and the world isn’t going to make you better, it won’t help anybody. We’ll figure this out, okay?”

I nodded, feeling like the shy, dorky, outcast guy I was years ago when I had first met Kevin. To say I felt extremely intimidated would be an understatement. Kevin rose from where he sat and made his way over towards me, prepared to slap a reassuring hand down on my shoulder, but quickly retreated. He was afraid that I’d be hurt by his reaction… but instead, I was kind of glad he didn’t touch me. I really didn’t want to delve deeper into his thoughts and emotions right now.

“You’ll be alright baby.” he whispered instead, and then turned to make his way into his kitchen.

“Well,” Nick sighed, “now that we’ve got that out of the way, I told you it wouldn’t be that bad.”

I gave a small smirk, feeling the relief that had bubbled up within Nick, which seemed to have taken my mind off the situation, if only for a moment. He walked up and sat himself down on the couch beside me, “Do you feel better now?”

I watched as he extended his arms and wrapped it around my shoulders. Before I could get a word out, my eyes clenched closed, and I could feel everything within Nick transfer into me. Pain immediately wracked me, causing my body to tense tightly, and before I knew it, darkness had claimed me.

My eyes snapped open as I lurched forward in the seat I was sitting.

“Whoa!” Nick exclaimed, obviously startled by my sudden movement. “Good morning sunshine!”

“Where am I?” I gasped, not liking the feeling of sweat dripping down my forehead and neck, making my flesh sticky. Though I was sweating like I had just ran a marathon, my face felt extremely clammy.

“Where are you?” Nick repeated, “You’re in my car.”

I looked around the first time, realizing what Nick said to be right. But… how did we get here? Weren’t we at Kevin’s house?

Nick took his eyes off the road for a bit to glance over at me in concern, “You alright buddy? You waking up out of a dead sleep scared the shit out of me… almost made me swerve off the fucking road.”

“Where are we going?” I asked, making sure I hadn’t had a vision of us going to Kevin’s house.

Nick’s face scrunched up in confusion, “I’m uh… I’m bringing you back to your place?”

“Why?”

“What’s with all the questions dude? Are you sure you’re alright, if you want we can go back to Kevin’s…”

There it was; so we were at Kevin’s. “No…” I rasped out, “I’m just… I can’t remember is all.”

“I can’t imagine… you did pass out.”

I shot a look over at him, “What?”

Nick shrugged, “I don’t know… I had sat down beside you on the couch, accidentally ‘touched you’, and the next thing I know, you were out. Took a while for you to come back around, but when you finally did, you kept saying that you just wanted to go home… we walked you to my car, and not even two minutes into the drive you were out again.”

I swallowed hard, feeling how completely dry and parched my throat felt, “God, why the fuck don’t I remember this?”

I felt Nick sulk a bit, as if he felt bad… but what for? “Look man, I’m sorry.” he apologized. Sorry for what? “I really didn’t mean to touch you, I guess I forgot and tried to give you a reassuring hug or some shit… you can tell I’m a fucking blonde.” he was mentally kicking himself.

I shook my head, “Hey, don’t worry about it Nick. I guess I just… I have to learn how to manage it is all, so people won’t be afraid to touch me. With each time it happens, it’s really not so bad…” I looked over at him, to make sure he was registering what I was telling him, “it’s like the pain kind of lessens with each… episode.”

“So, why did you pass out?”

I shrugged, “I’m still kind of new to this… my body and mind hasn’t fully adjusted to the fact that I can… ‘become’ someone else. It’s kind of a lot for me to handle, all at once, yanno?”

He nodded, but I knew he didn’t understand. “This is all surreal… it’s kinda like you’re that chick from X-Men, except for the fact that you don’t kill people with one touch.”

“Rogue?” I asked in a monotone voice. Leave it to Nick to try to find a shred of humor in any and all situations.

He smiled, “Yeah. To an extent, must be kinda cool.”

It was far from cool Nick… far from it. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have a bottle of water in here by chance, would you?”

Nick gave a small nod as his eyes darted from the road to the back of his car, “Yeah, I actually a bottle back here somewhere…” he grunted out as he tried to turn his body to reach for the bottle, but keep himself straight to keep the car in control on the road.

I felt the car swerve to the side, rearing up behind another car that was in front of us in the other lane. “Just focus on the road Nick!” I lightly exclaimed, bringing Nick’s attention back to the road. I slowly released the tight grip I had on the arm rest part of the door when Nick had straightened the car back onto the lane we were on.

“Well, if you want it, it’s somewhere back there.”

I nodded as I removed my seatbelt. Just as I rose up in my seat to reach towards the back of the car to search for the bottle of water, the sound of screeching tires rendered me completely still. There I was, partially up over my seat, with no seatbelt, when I had looked forward to see the car in front of us swerve drastically to the side, hitting another car in the other lane as it tried to avoid whatever it was in front of us.

Both Nick and I gasped when we seen that it was a large hauling truck that had came to a sudden stop for some reason. Nick tried his best to swerve out of the way of hitting the truck as well, but it was too late… we were gonna hit the back of the truck. There is NO fucking way I’d survive this shit… I had just taken off my seatbelt and I wasn’t sitting properly in the seat. I tried to lower myself back in my seat as quickly as I could, and just tried to prepare myself for the impact, and possibly a quick death.

I glanced over at Nick and everything was set into slow motion from there. The car swerved, but it wasn’t fast enough to clear us from hitting the back of the truck. Nick’s eyes glazed over to me, and I remember screaming “NO!!” yet I heard nothing escape my mouth. I watched in horror as Nick’s side of the car was partially smashed in from hitting the back of the truck, causing Nick to jerk harshly back from the impact. The windshield had shattered, raining shards of glass in slow motion. I was too wrapped up in watching what was happening to Nick, that I didn’t even realize that I was flying forward out of my seat.

The car continued to spin out on the road and had actually launched me from my seat and right through the windshield. I closed my eyes… this was it, there’s no way I’d fucking survive flying out of a moving vehicle. I remember the blinding pain of the flesh of my face, chest, back and arms being torn open from the broken glass, like a butcher making clean cuts through thick pieces of meat. I felt myself flying through the air, if only for a moment, before my body landed hard on the pavement and rolled for a bit before I finally came to a stop.

The darkness that surrounded me was inviting, but a light far off in the distance was beckoning me. I noticed the more I accepted the darkness to take me under, the less pain I felt, but the more I found myself attracted to the light, all sorts of new pain continued to wrack my body every second. As much as I wanted to let myself succumb to the painless invite, the light seemed to attract and lure me back that much more. I so wasn’t ready for the pain that I’d be greeted with upon forcing my eyes open.

I cried out immediately; like a little kid who had just broken a bone for the first time, I couldn’t stop crying out, in hopes that someone would hear me and help take this pain away. Slowly, I tried to push myself up from the road, looking down at my arms that were painted with my blood. The sight of my blood alone was enough to freak me the hell out and make me cry out in pain even more. Shards of broken glass protruded from my arms, palms, and even my chest. In that moment it reminded me that I shouldn’t even be alive… there’s no way I should’ve fucking survived this accident and going through the windshield, no way. That’s when I remembered something…

Nick.

“NICK!!!” I sobbed out, a new pain hitting my body like a ton of bricks just from yelling out. I tried my best to look around to see where Nick was, and about ten feet away from me was Nick’s car, upside down, resting on it’s rooftop.

I pushed myself up from the ground, and though it hurt like a fucking bitch to do, I tried to stand up to make my way towards the car to check on Nick. Wrong move. I immediately screamed out and collapsed back to the ground, the unbearable pain was enough to tempt me to slip unconscious again. Pushing it all aside, knowing that I had to get to Nick, I looked down towards my leg, where the source of the pain was, and began sobbing. My left leg was surely broken; the bone had completely broken in half, and part of the bone had burst through my flesh. “Oh god!” I sobbed out. As if the sight of my own blood wasn’t enough, I now had to deal with my mangled leg, which made me completely sick to my stomach.

“ALEX!!!!!!!!!!!” I heard someone scream out.

My attention immediately snapped back towards the car, where I saw slight movement going on. From a distance, I could clearly see Nick trying to dislodge himself from the seatbelt that held he strapped to his seat, dangling upside down.

“Nick!” I rasped out, my voice surely going hoarse. “Hold on, I’m coming to help you, okay?” How the fuck was I going to do this?

“I… I can’t get out, I’m stuck!” I heard him shout back.

“Don’t move, just hold on, I’ll be there to get you out!”

There was no way I’d be able to get up on my legs with a bone protruding out of one, so I did the next best thing. Crawl. I whimpered and gritted my teeth to keep from crying out; the pain I felt from using my hands which were decorated with sharp, jagged pieces of glass to drag my dear weight across the road, ten feet away to where Nick was just excruciating.

I needed to keep my mind off of me and what I was feeling… then I thought of my ability. Perhaps if I tried to focus one someone else’s energy, it would take my mind and feeling off of my own pain for a moment; at least long enough for me to get to Nick before passing out from the sheer exhaustion and pain. As I continued to crawl my way towards Nick, I glanced around, looking for innocent bystanders that I could tap into, but for some fucking convenient reason, they were nowhere near us. Our car had skidded quite a way from where the cars had came to a stop. I could feel them off in the distance, making their way towards us, but not close enough for me to focus in on their energy.

Instead, I tried to focus in on Nick, but doing that brought me double the amount of pain. It rendered me motionless for a while, the pain being enough to want to pass out. I quickly tried to back out of tapping into Nick’s feelings and resorted with my own. Okay, I was at least five feet away from him, just five more feet to go!

“Nick?” I called out again. “Look, I’m almost there, can you not free yourself at all?”

He fell silent for a while, trying to observe why he was stuck. “No, I don’t think so… the fucking seatbelt won’t budge.”

“Alright, just remain calm buddy, I’m almost there…”

“AJ?”

I didn’t like the sound of his voice. “Yes?”

“What’s that smell?”

My eyes immediately glazed over the car, and widened. Gas was spewing forth from the mangled tank, leaking all down the sides of the car, pooling on the road around him. “It’s gas Nick.”

“It’s WHAT?!” he shouted, freaking out even more.

I was such a fucking dumbass to tell him that and freak him out even more. “Hey Nick, hey!” I called out to him, trying to get him to focus on me. “Look, I need you to remain calm for me buddy, okay? It’s just gas, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? I’m gonna get to you and I’ll get you out of that car, just… remain calm and focus on me Nicky, okay? Talk to me.”

“I, uh…” he faltered with formulating a sentence, obviously thinking of the gasoline that was pouring out around him.

“Hey, I said talk to me, don’t worry about anything else okay… talk to me.” I coaxed as I tried to crawl to him even faster.

“I… I can’t AJ.” he stuttered out, sobs now wracking his body. “I-I-I can’t talk or focus on anything else or not think about it because the car is still running… and with all this fucking gas around me, I can‘t do it Jay!”

When he said that, my heart seriously dropped. Tears quickly welled within my eyes, threatening to spill over any moment… not because of the continuous pain I was in, but I was now beginning to realize that I wouldn’t make it to Nick in time. “Stop it, I’m going to get you out of there Nick.”

“STOP IT!!” he shouted out in tears. “JUST FUCKING STOP IT AJ!! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE, PLEASE!!”

The fear and pain that emanated from Nick hit me like nothing I’ve felt before, and for that moment my eyes actually managed to roll up into the back of my head. I seriously had to fight it and focus back on getting my brother out of that car and away to safety. I had to remain optimistic, I just had to. There was no way this was going to happen to us… no fucking way.

“Nick please, just stop talking!” I cried out, fighting to not let my emotion get the best of me. “I’m not fucking leaving you in there. I’m gonna ge-” I stopped in the middle of my sentence, hearing the familiar sound of a flame being ignited.

My eyes shot over towards the hood of the car where the flame had ignited from the damaged engine. Using the very little amount of strength I had left within me, I quickly pushed myself up from the ground and managed to stand on up, making sure that my banged up right leg supported all my weight. I began hobbling even closer to the car, but the flames had engulfed the whole front of the car and was creeping through the broken windows, where Nick was.

The sound… I’ll never forget the sound of Nick crying and screaming out in unbearable, excruciating pain. Tears streamed down my face as I watched the flames begin to burn my best friend, my brother alive. His screams and cries were blood-curling, a sound that would forever stay with me and haunt me for the rest of my life. I watched helplessly as he tried his best to squirm away from the growing inferno, but it was no use.

I continued to make my way towards the burning car, figuring I’d get close enough to die with him. There’s no way I’d watch him fucking die and allow me to live on with these last haunting images I’d have of Nick, no fucking way. I stopped though as everything had gone back into slow motion… the flames had finally grown close enough to meet up with the gasoline.

I looked up into Nick’s eyes, as his tearful blue eyes bore back into mines. The last thing I remember was a huge, immense explosion that had managed to knock me clear off my feet, and I felt myself fly back. The sound of the exploding car was deafening, and the heat from it all was extremely intense; I could literally feel my skin curl back and burn. After what seemed like forever of flying backwards, I finally felt myself make impact with the ground, once again.

There I laid, on my back, with new injuries and pain wracking my body. But slowly, with every passing second, my body and mind was growing numb. Maybe it was finally death here to greet and accept me this time. I honestly wouldn’t care… I don’t want to live through this, especially without Nick, who I was sure was dead. Darkness came back to claim me, and this time I didn’t fight it.

“AJ!!! Alex!!!”

I heard someone calling my name far off in the distance, but couldn’t distinguish exactly who it was at the moment. Their voices sounded distorted and low.

“He’s coming back around.” I think that was Kevin.

“Oh thank God!” Howie?

“I’ll go ring out a cool washcloth, he’s sweating like crazy.” The voice of Mother Brian.

But, why was I sweating? Shit, that’s when it hit me… Nick and I had gotten into a car accident! Nick was fucking dead, but… why wasn’t Brian sobbing like crazy? He’s wound up in worry with me, which brought me to the fact that I must still be alive. FUCK!!! No, no, no, no… this wasn’t supposed to happen! Stop calling out to me guys, I’m supposed to be fucking DEAD!! Stop trying to wake me up, I wanted to die with Nick; I’m not supposed to be here!

“What the hell happened?” that was Kevin again.

Uh, Kev? It’s pretty obvious that I got into a car accident, and now you guys are trying to bring me back from the dead! God, why the fuck did I have to survive and live on with this shit!

“I don’t know, I went to grab his shoulders to give him a slight hug and then he just fell unconscious!” Wait… was that who I think it was?

I heard Kevin release a sigh, “Why would you do that when we had just got done talking about what happens when people touch him?”

“I know, I fucking forgot!”

Holy shit.

“NICK!!!!” I shouted, immediately flying up from whatever I was laying on.

Though my vision was blurred, I could distinctly see four blurred figures crowded in front of me immediately lean back once I had flown up from my laying down position. I could feel myself panting and my heart racing… I was waiting for the pain I was sure to feel kick in, but thankfully my body was still quite numb and trying to catch it’s bearings.

“Okay, why did he just call out for me?”

I turned my head towards the blurred blond vision of whom I assumed to be Nick… could’ve been Brian, but I’m pretty sure that was Nick. He whispered his question as if it was only meant for it to be heard by him, but the silence of the room was so deafening that his whispered question had cut through the silence like a hot knife through butter.

“Maybe he’s mad at you for touching him?” Brian suggested, obviously trying to lighten the mood with his lame crack.

I blinked furiously, trying to rid myself of the blurry vision that plagued me. Thankfully, I was slowly but surely able to make out their faces.

I seen Nick shake his head, “No, he didn’t sound mad… he sounded… he kinda sounded scared.” When I finally got my vision back to normal, my eyes widened at the sight of Nick kneeling before me, looking perfectly fine. How in the fuck…

“Shit guys…” Nick continued, looking scared. “You guys, what if he had a vision of me? A vision of something bad happening to me?”

Kevin sighed, yet again, obviously trying to figure out why the youngest member was seeking attention within this moment. “Why would you say that Nick?”

“Because I fucking touched him!” he replied in an exasperated tone. “Didn’t he say he can get visions or some shit like that?!”

I was finally able to bring my heavy breathing down a bit, placing my head in my hands. Besides my erratic heartbeat, I felt no pain. I looked my arms over, patted my body up and down a bit to see if I felt any injuries I may have sustained within this “episode”. There was nothing. Having that said, it wasn’t a vision; it all must’ve been a dream… no, a fucking nightmare.

“Hey, how you feeling Jay?”

I looked up to see Brian situate himself on the couch next to me. He handed me the cool washcloth, “Here, put this on your head for a bit, it’ll help to cool you down.”

Weird thing was, I didn’t feel hot at all. Still remaining silent, I grabbed the washcloth and began to wipe it all over my face, in hopes to rid myself of the disorientation and exhaustion I felt at that moment. “Thank you.” I rasped as I held the washcloth in my hand.

“AJ, why did you call my name out like that? Did you have a vision of me?”

“Nick, would you not?” Kevin warned.

Nick held his hands up, as if trying to defend himself, “I’m just sayin’, and I think I have every right to know if he saw something bad happen to me or whatever.”

Gosh, did this kid forget again that this energy he releases hits me twice as hard?! “Please, would you calm down?” I muttered out, still feeling a bit delirious.

Nick looked back over at me and sighed, “Sorry Jay.”

I glanced over at Kevin, knowing he was going to say something. I watched as he raked his hand through his hair, battling with his thoughts on what to do. “What do you want to do Alex?”

I let my head rest upon my hand, “I think I just want to go home.” I mumbled out, sounding a lot like a little child.

Kevin nodded as he rose up from his crouched position, “Alright. We’ll be by your place tomorrow, okay?”

I gave a slight nod, and with that wearily pushed myself up from the couch. Both Brian and Howie were faithful at my sides, ready to grab and help me, but quickly retreated. “Thank you, I’m fine.” I voiced out has I handed the washcloth back to Brian.

I could feel their eyes bore into the back of me as they watched me make my way towards the door. “Do you think you could stay the night with him? Keep an eye on him and make sure he’ll be okay?” I heard Kevin mutter in a low voice to Nick.

“Yeah, it’ll be no problem, as long as he’s fine with it.” Nick replied.

I grasped the doorknob and twisted it, opening the door as I let myself out. “Whatever you do Nick, try to remember NOT to touch him again.” The fear they once felt was now replaced with worry and concern. I know I’ll hate to be reminded that no one can touch me; physical touch, from being intimate to comforting, was something I always needed… whether it was the loving touch of a woman to a reassuring hug from one of the fellas, I just always needed that physical sensory, and now I’d have to live without it… lord knows for how long.

I could hear this guttural noise being released from Nick, obviously irritated with how Kevin seemed to harangue him about accidentally touching me. Not only did he seem irritated with Kevin, but also himself, knowing that it was his mistake that lead me to be in the state I’m in.

“Yes Kevin, you don’t have to fucking remind me like I’m stupid or something.” Nick gritted back.

“Look, I don’t think nor am I trying to make you feel stupid Nick, and you really don’t have to give me that attitude. I’m just saying that we all need to be more cautious being around him.”

And there it was again… that feeling that bubbled within me of everything being better off if I was nowhere near them that I had came to suppress was back. I made my way out towards Nick’s car, figuring it’d be best if I didn’t stick around to feel their boiling tension, or dwell within the words or thoughts about me that I wasn’t supposed to hear. I leaned myself against Nick’s car, my hand immediately coming up to shield my eyes from the harsh glare of the setting sun. Fuck, I forgot my shades in the house, but there’s no way I’m going back in there to get it.

A few moments later, Nick stormed out of the house, not really appearing upset, but obviously wanting to leave. “Here Jay, you forgot this.” he said to me as he handed me my shades. Thank God. I graciously accepted it and immediately placed it over my eyes, darkening my world just a bit. All was right.

“You don’t mind me staying the night over, do you?” Nick asked me as he unlocked his car door, jumping in. “Maybe I’ll finally be able to do something right by daddy Kev.”

I shook my head as I jumped into the passenger seat, “As long as you promise to keep relatively calm.”

Nick gave a small smirk, still trying to digest all this unexplainable activity, “Did you, uh… did you want to stop off anywhere before we head home? Need to get anything from the store, or do you want something to eat?”

I yawned and settled further in the seat, “Nah, I’m good. Just want to go home and sleep.”

Nick nodded as he started the car and threw it in reverse. It didn’t take long until I was out like a light again.

~*~*~*~

My eyes snapped open as I lurched forward in the seat I was sitting.

“Whoa!” Nick exclaimed, obviously startled by my sudden movement. “Good morning sunshine!”

“Where am I?” I gasped.

“Where are you?” Nick repeated, “You’re in my car.”

I looked around the first time, realizing what Nick said to be right. Holy shit, it was fucking déjà vu. And that’s when it hit me… it wasn’t a nightmare I had when I had fallen asleep at Kevin’s place, it was a fucking vision. Oh God.

Nick took his eyes off the road for a bit to glance over at me in concern, “You alright buddy? You waking up out of a dead sleep scared the shit out of me… almost made me swerve off the fucking road.”

“Where are we going?” I asked.

Nick’s face scrunched up in confusion, “I’m uh… I’m bringing you back to your place?”

“Oh.” I finally said as I immediately turned my attention to our surroundings.

I felt Nick sulk a bit, “Look man, I’m sorry.” he apologized. “I really didn’t mean to touch you, I guess I forgot and tried to give you a reassuring hug or some shit… you can tell I’m a fucking blonde.”

I was going to ignore him, but decided to go along with the scene that had already unfolded before me, “Don’t worry about it.” I kept my reply shorter than what I had really told him in my vision.

“This is all surreal… it’s kinda like you’re that chick from X-Men, except for the fact that you don’t kill people with one touch.”

“Rogue?” I asked in a monotone voice. I really wish he would stop talking so I can focus on trying to prevent us from getting into the deadly accident I had foreseen.

He smiled, “Yeah. To an extent, must be kinda cool.”

How I wanted to knock him upside his fucking head right now for saying this. No Nick, you would NOT find this cool if I had told you that I had a premonition of us getting into a car wreck and you dying. “Do you hav-” I immediately stopped myself from asking that question, remembering that in my vision I asked him if he had a bottle of water and he tried to reach in the back for it, causing our car to swerve a bit from the lane we were in.

Nick glanced between me and the road, “Do I… do I have what?”

“Nevermind.” I muttered as I removed my seatbelt and craned myself over the seat to search for the bottle of water that was somewhere near the backseats.

“What are you looking for?” he asked me.

I stretched my arm out to blindly feel for the water bottle behind my seat. Once I felt my hand come in contact with something, I quickly grasped it and pulled it out from underneath my seat. I flounced myself back down in my chair and stared at the bottle of water I now held within my grasp. Holy shit, this is all fucking real.

Nick glanced down at the water bottle I was holding, “Is that what you were gonna ask if I had?”

I simply nodded as I unscrewed the cap and took a big, long swig of the warm water. “Yeah.” I finally gasped out.

Nick’s brows furrowed in confusion, “How did you know I had a bottle of water back there?”

Just as I was about to answer him, I looked out my window to see the car that we would have rear-ended in my vision when Nick had let his car swerve as he searched for the water bottle. “Hey, could you get into the furthest right lane please?”

I could feel the puzzlement within Nick grow even more. Right now’s not the time to let your feelings overwhelm you Nick! “What? Why?”

“Just do it please!”

“What the hell is going on Jay?” he asked me as he signaled his blinkers and drifted into the right lane. “Could you fill me in with what’s going on, because you’re really starting to freak me out!”

We were nearing the point of the accident, I know it. Due to being in the other lane, I could clearly see the large hauling truck that would come to a sudden stop at any moment. Behind the truck and in the lane on the left of us was the car that would swerve out of the lane to avoid hitting the stopped truck. “Just listen to what I tell you, okay?” I voiced, “Don’t fucking ask any questions.”

That shut him up real quick. I wanted him to get into the furthest right lane so we could pull over, but we were surrounded by cars, so there was no chance of doing that. Instead, I had to focus on the timing so what happened in my vision wouldn’t happen at all.

“Do you want me to sta-”

“STOP!!!”

Nick immediately slammed on the breaks upon hearing me shout that one word. Before he could get his question out, of if he wanted me to have him stay in this lane, I watched as the hauling truck came to a sudden stop. The car that was right behind the truck had swerved into out lane and clipped the front of our car, causing us to spin out slightly though Nick had brought the car to a stop.

Nick tightened his grip on the wheel as he fought to keep the car from spinning far out into the other lane. We jerked forward a bit from the impact of yet another car hitting us slightly from behind as they too came to a sudden stop. All that was heard were the screeching sound of tires behind us and of course our heavy breathing.

“Holy shit!” Nick gasped out, slowly letting up his tight grip on the wheel. “Holy fucking shit.”

I continued to sit there in silence, not actually believing that I had prevented us from getting into the deadly car accident I had foreseen. Once I was able to regulate my breathing, I glanced over at Nick, “You okay man?”

Nick quickly nodded his head as he fought for something, anything to say. “Yeah… you?”

I gave a small nod as well, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What the fuck?!” Nick exclaimed, still unable to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

Knowing that Nick was perfectly fine, I ignored his antics and thought of the other people that were involved. I unbuckled my seatbelt and jumped out of the car, making my way over towards the car that had swerved out of the lane to avoid hitting the back of the truck and had hit us instead. I walked up to the driver side to find a fairly young woman freaking out.

“Oh my god, oh my god!!” she chanted over and over, her voice sounding a bit muffled because her window was rolled up.

“Ma’am?” I shouted a bit, in hopes she could hear me through her rolled up window, “Ma’am, are you alright?”

She shot a look over towards me and let out another sob, “My baby, my baby!!” she cried out.

I pointed to her car door, to let her know that I’d be opening her car door and I wouldn’t freak her out. I grasped the handle and opened the door, “Are you okay?” I asked again, hoping she would calm down.

“My baby!” she cried out again. “My baby’s in the back!”

I glanced through the back windows of her van to see her baby strapped into his car seat, wailing and thrashing about. “Okay ma’am, I’m going to check on your baby, okay?” I informed her of my actions, to make sure she would be okay with it.

“Please check my baby!” she sobbed, “Please let him be okay.”

“Okay, I need you to calm down for me please?” her growing emotion was beginning to overwhelm me. “Just calm down, your baby looks fine and I’m gonna check to make sure, okay?”

She was finally able to bring her sobs to a slight cease. “Okay, okay, okay.” she chanted over and over, getting herself to calm down.

I grabbed the handle to her car door and opened the sliding door, releasing the loud pitch of the wailing baby to the world. “Shh little buddy, it’s okay.” I cooed as I reached in to check him over. Besides fussing over the sudden jarring actions of what had just happened, he looked okay. I mean, I know I’m no doctor, but I could feel what the baby was feeling; and it wasn’t of pain, but fear.

“Your baby’s fine.” I voiced out to the now quiet woman. “No signs of any injuries, nothing. Just shook up is all.”

The woman quickly removed her seatbelt and jumped out of her seat. “Oh god, thank you!” she cried out as she made her way to her son’s side. She was obviously scared to look back at him… scared that she would find her son bloody and injured from the accident; the wails her son emitted didn’t help her feelings either. She quickly unbuckled her son from the car seat and greedily scooped him up into her arms, holding him tight to her as she cried. “Thank you!”

I gave a small smile, hoping to ease her a bit, “You’re welcome, just wanted to make sure you guys were okay. Help should be on the way.” I told her, knowing that Nick’s On-Star program of his car had kicked in from when we were first hit and had dispatched help to be on their way.

“Are you guys okay?” I heard a voice question from behind.

I turned around to find a male that appeared to be a few years older than me approaching us. “Yeah, they’re fine.” I answered for them.

“What about you and your friend?” he asked, referring to Nick and I.

“We’re fine too.” I nodded.

“Damn, I’m really sorry, I tried hard not to hit you guys!” the man tried to explain, “My attention immediately went to this woman who had swerved out of the way from hitting that truck, that I wasn’t even paying attention to what was going on in front of me!”

“I know.” I said sympathetically, “Nothing to worry about, none of us saw this coming.” Correction, I did. “The main thing is that we’re all okay.”

The man nodded as he now made his way over towards the emotional woman and her baby. Now knowing that everyone was okay, I made my way back to the car and jumped back in to the passenger seat, finding Nick to be in the same state I left him.

“Are they okay?” he asked me in a meek voice.

I nodded. “Yeah… are you? You’re the one that’s got me worried right now.”

Nick relieved a sigh, “I’m just in fucking shock dude, this all happened so fast, and it could have been so much worse had you not…” Don’t need to tell me that Nick, I already seen what WOULD have happened. “You saw this, didn’t you?”

I looked over at him, “What?”

“That’s why you were acting all fucking strange and told me to get into the other lane… you saw this coming, didn’t you? Is that why you had yelled out my name back at Kevin’s house?!”

I began to rub my temples… everyone’s different emotions were beginning to take it’s toll on me, and Nick’s feelings would eventually push me over the edge. “Nick, relax please.”

“I can’t fucking relax!” he slightly shouted in a soft tone. “You fucking saw this shit before hand and prevented it from being worse than it could have been.”

“Yes Nick.” I finally gave in, hoping the truth would shut him up. “Yes I did see what was going to happen and yes I prevented it from being worse than it could have been.”

Silence had befallen us for a moment; obviously Nick was digesting what I just told him, along with trying to process the initial shock of the accident. “What did you see?” he asked in a soft voice. “What really happened?”

I sighed as I reclined back in my seat. “You don’t want to know.” I said, hearing approaching sirens off in the distance. “You really don’t wanna fucking know.”