One day, Orlando Bloom was walking down the street, when suddenly he heard a huge bang.
“What the hell was that?!” he exclaimed, jumping 20 feet in the air.
“Nothing!” a voice to the left replied. Orlando nodded and kept walking.
“Hang on…” he whispered, looking around. “Who talked?”
“No one. Keep walking.” The voice said again.
“No! Who keeps saying that?” Orlando yelled, still looking around.
“Okay.” A voice said after a moments silence. “I’ll let you in on my secret, just as long as you don’t tell anybody.”
“I can’t promise I wont.” Orlando said, sounding rather suspicious.
“I suppose that will have to do. Close your eyes and count to 20.” The voice ordered. Orlando sighed, then closed his eyes and started counting.
“1…2…3…4…5..HEY!” He yelled when something hit him hard from behind. He whirled around to see no one around.
“See you later, Sucker!” the voice cackled. Orlando heard footsteps running off.
“What the hell?” he muttered, shaking his head.

LATER, AT ORLANDO’S HUGE MANSION
“Seriously, Lij! This invisible person ran was talking to me, then he ran away!” Orlando exclaimed into the phone, leaning back in his computer chair.
“Really?” Elijah said, not sounding very interested.
“Yeah, he ran into me!” Orlando continued.
“Uh huh. That must have been freaky.” Elijah muttered, scratching his head.
“You don’t sound all that interested.” Orlando said softly.
“Oh! Believe me I am!” Elijah exclaimed sarcastically, trying not to laugh.
“No your not! You’re laughing! You don’t even care that he called me a sucker!” Orlando yelled. Elijah stopped mid laugh.
“What?! He called you a what?!” Elijah exclaimed.
“A sucker.” Orlando repeated. There was a pause, then a faint “Oh my god.”
“What?” Orlando asked.
“There back. I have to call Dom.” There was a click, then a dial tone. Orlando stared at the phone in disbelief.
“He hung up on me! Nobody hangs up on Orlando Bloom!” he exclaimed.

MEANWHILE, AT ELIJAH’S FLAT AT THE BACK OF HIS MOMS HOUSE
“DOM! THEY’RE BACK!” Elijah screamed into the phone.
“What?! Back! I must inform the others! Its time for Operation Destroy the Sucker.” Dom said mysteriously. Elijah gasped.
“Are you sure? We could just go to Code red!” Elijah suggested.
“What? Like we did last time? No, Elijah. Last time was horrible. We must act quick this time.” Elijah sighed, running his hand through his dark hair.
“Okay. You inform the others. I’ll go around to protect Orlando. He must not know the truth.”

MEANHWILE, BACK AT ORLANDO’S VERY EXPENSIVE AND VERY LAVISH MANSION
“Hmmm. I wonder what happens if I look in here?” Orlando muttered to himself, looking in the microwave. When nothing happened, Orlando sighed and closed the door.
“ I’m so bored.” He said softly, walking out of the kitchen.
DING DONG!
Orlando sighed again, and walked to the front door.
“Huh?” he stated, looking outside. No one was there. He shook his head and shut the door. Just as he was walking away, the doorbell rang again. Orlando frowned and opened the door. Yet again, no one was there.
“Hey! Whoever is out there, go away! Its not funny!” Orlando yelled, just before he shut the door. He started to walk away when the doorbell rang yet again. Orlando walked back over to the door, fuming.
“LOOK!” He started, as he threw open the door. Elijah cowered back.
“Please don’t kill me.” He whispered.
“Oh. Lij. What are you doing here?” Orlando asked.
“I came to protect, I mean see what you were doing.” Elijah said, stepping inside and taking off his coat. “Who were you yelling at?”
“My doorbell rang like twice, and both times there was no one there.” Orlando replied. Elijah raised his eyebrow.
“That’s not good. It means that…” he trailed off when he saw Orlando staring at him suspiciously. “I mean, stupid damn kids.”
“Yeah. Or maybe it was the person that was talking to me before.” Orlando thought aloud.
“Nah. I think you were just imagining thing. In fact, I’m sure of it. Want some ice cream?” Elijah asked, walking towards the kitchen.
“Uh, aren’t I meant to be offering you ice cream? I mean, you are in my lavish mansion.” Orlando said softly, following Elijah.
“No, I’m trying to keep you out of trouble.” Elijah muttered, opening the freezer and taking the ice cream out, then closing the freezer again.
“You want a drink?” Orlando asked, opening the fridge.
“Yeah sure.” Elijah replied. Orlando went to grab the coke, but stopped when something caught his eye.
“Uh, Lij? There is a hole in the back of my fridge.” Orlando whispered. Elijah turned around, dropping the spoon in the process.
“What?!” He yelled.
“Here. There’s a hole in the back.” Orlando repeated, reaching his hand out.
“No Orli! Don’t!” Elijah yelled, but it was too late. Orlando yelped in surprise as he was pulled through the hole in the fridge. Elijah ran over.
“Orlando? Landy? Shit!” he cursed, reaching for his cell phone and dialling.
“Dom? Its Lij. The Suckers have Orlando. I repeat, the Suckers have Orlando…Yeah, through the fridge. We’re going to plan B. I’m going in.” Elijah took a deep breath, then stuck his hand through the hole in the fridge.

MEANWHILE, BEHIND THE FRIDGE
Orlando stood up, shaking his head. He was staring at his kitchen.
“Lij?” he whispered, looking around.
“Whoa!” Elijah yelled as he fell out of the fridge. Orlando ran to help him up.
“Lij! Are you okay?! What the hell happened?” Orlando asked. Elijah dusted himself off, looking around.
“We went through the fridge. Duh.” He muttered.
“No, I mean, well…how?” Orlando said softly.
“Oh, uh, don’t worry bout that. Why don’t you come with me?” Elijah said, beckoning.
“No! Not until you tell me what the hell is going on! I may be stupid Lij, but I’m not dumb!” Orlando yelled.
“Well….hang on, that didn’t make any sense.” Elijah murmured. Orlando frowned, scratched his butt, then continued.
“Just…uh, tell me what’s going on, dude.” Orlando pleaded.
“Alright. You’re dreaming.” Elijah said quickly.
“Dreaming?” Orlando whispered.
“Yeah! Dreaming! So, just go along with it and don’t ask any questions. Okay?” Elijah asked.
“Yeah, okay. But this sure a strange dream.” Orlando muttered, walking off.
“Oh, believe me. You have no idea my dear friend.” Elijah said, sounding kind of evil. “No idea.”


(DD_ette- This story is dedicated to the stupid idot in Orlando Bloom. There really is one in all of us.)