He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not just yet...but he had to...there was no other way. It pained him to see his one and only love...just to slip away...as if nothing had happened between them.

It literally made him sick to his stomach.

Alexander sat in the room they both shared...as one. He walked to the bed, and sat down, looking at the portrait of the two lovers in a tight embrace, smiling for the camera. Alexander picked it up, and traced his finger along his lovers’ face. He tried to hold back his tears, for he missed her so much.

“Julia...” Alexander began. “Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go?” Alexander embraced the frame, and began to cry softly.

“Alex...? Alex...” Alexander woke up to see Julia’s pure face. Julia Gauthier was indeed the most beautiful woman he had ever known. Her hair was dark brown with copper-red highlights. Her skin was a pure as porcelain, and her eyes were a remarkable greenish-blue. He loved to wake up seeing her hover over him. She was truly beautiful. He touched her gentle face with his hand. “I love you, Alex.” “And I love you, Julia...”

Alexander sat up, and softly kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her, and lain her down upon the bed, with him on top. “Alex...Make love to me...please...” Baby...you didn’t have to plead...” Alexander pulled the covers over them, and he and his beautiful girlfriend made love.

There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” The door opened, and Alex’s friend, Kevin walked in. “Hey, Dawg. Why are you in here?” Alex looked up at Kevin, with tears in his eyes. “Kevin...” AJ had a piece of paper in his hand, and he was shaking profusely. “I...I can’t do it, Kev. It’s too goddamn painful to do this...” Kevin placed his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “AJ...she’ll thank you for doing this for her.” “Kevin...I just can’t do it...I just can’t.” Kevin got up, and knelt down in front of Alexander. “Alex...you have to do this. You can’t just sweep this under the rug, and live your life as if nothing happened.

You have to do this. Not only for Julia, but for her family and friends.” Alexander looked deep into his eyes. Kevin spoke the truth. He couldn’t just leave the fact that she’s gone, and live his life. Alex collapsed into Kevin’s arms, as Kevin patted him upon his back. “It’s gonna be alright, J. It’s gonna be alright.” “Kevin...please say that you’re telling the truth....please...” Alex let it all go, and tightened his grasp on Kevin.

Alexander then broke the embrace, and stood up, and so did Kevin. “Come on, Alex. They’re waiting for us.” Kevin walked to the door, and opened it. He let Alex out first. Brian was standing against the wall, as he saw Alexander pass him. “Boy,” Brian began. “He’s never gonna be alright, is he?” Kevin walked to Brian, and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know, Rok...I just don’t know. By the looks of it...he’s never gonna be able to let her go.”

Alexander walked up to the steps of Julia’s apartment. “Ok, McLean...don’t be nervous...Just breathe...let the nausea pass, and ask her...GOD I hope she says yes...” Alexander rung the doorbell. “Just a minute...” Alex took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. “Hey, Tiger...” Alexander opened his eyes, and saw Julia. “Julia...uh...hey...” Julia walked out to him. “Hey yourself, sweetheart...”

Alexander was getting nervous by the second. Julia grabbed his shirt collar, and pulled him in the house. Julia led Alex to the couch, and they both sat down. “Julia...” Began Alex. “There’s something that I gotta get off my chest, but before I do that, I want your complete attention.” “Done.”

Alexander was lost in her eyes for a split second, before coming back to reality. “So...what is it? What did you wanna tell me?” Alex turned to face her, and took her hands and linked them to his. “Julia...” “Yes?” “We’ve been together for how long?” “A year and a half.” “Ok then...That year and a half has been the best ever, and I...I never wanna let you go. So....here it goes...”

Julia looked at him, as she smiled. She knew, yet she didn’t know what was about to happen. “Julia Varicella Gauthier...when I’m with you...I am solely complete...but when I’m without you...I’m nothing. I love you with everything in me...You just don’t know how much you mean to me...” Julia placed her hand upon his face, and said, “Yes I do. Alexander...I love you so much...We both can see it.”

Alexander pulled away from her. “Julia...” Alexander got down on one knee. Julia was about to cry... “Alex...oh my God...” “Julia Varicella Gauthier...Will you do the honor of being my wife?” Julia knelt down before her, and he hugged him tight, and left soft kisses upon his face. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you, Alex!” “Really? You will? Julia...you have made me the happiest man on Earth!” Alexander took her face into his hands, and gave her a passionate kiss. “I love you, Alex...” And I, you, Julia...Always, and forever...”

Alex, Howie, Brian, and Kevin are in a car, driving to Julia’s parents’ house. As Howie was driving, he asked Alex, “So, AJ? You gonna be ok?” AJ was looking out the window. He didn’t answer Howie’s question. “Where did it come from? How did it develop inside her?” Brian looked at Alex, and said, “I don’t know, J. She told us that she had that lupus since she was born, but it didn’t take away any time away from her life. She was perfectly healthy.” Alex nodded his head, and looked out the window again...

Alexander and his mother, Denise, drove to the hospital to see his wife, Julia. As Denise parked the car, Denise took her son’s hand, and said, “You ok?” “Yeah. I just hope she’s alright.” “She is, Alex. She just took a bad fall. She’ll heal up nicely. She’s such a strong woman. I’m glad to have her as my daughter.” “Yeah...” As Alex got out the car, Denise grabbed his arm through the window. “Now, Alexander...where’s my kiss?” “Sorry, Mom.”

Alex bent down, and kissed him mother on the cheek. “I’ll call to let you know anything, ok Mom?” “Alright honey. See you soon.” And with that, Denise drove off. Alexander had a bouquet of roses, and chocolates, to help her feel better. Alexander walked in the hospital, and walked up to the receptionists’ desk.

“Excuse me? I’m here to see a Julia McLean? My wife?” The receptionist walked away from her desk, smiled at him, and led him to Room 19. “Thank you, Ma’am.” As the lady walked off, Alex knocked on her door. “It’s open.” Alex opened the door, and saw her in bed with a mini dinner table above her waist.

“Hey, baby...” Alexander walked up to her, placed the chocolates and flowers upon the inn table, and kissed her on the cheek. “Hey Julia. How’s your leg?” “Oh, it’s fine. I’ve been better.” Suddenly, Julia coughed. “Are you ok, babe?” “I’m fine, sweety.” As Alex turned around, to put the flowers in some water, Julia grabbed a tissue, and coughed again...this time, blood appeared on the paper.

Julia quickly disposed of the tissue, wiped her mouth, and looked at Alex. “AJ...do you know how much I love you?” Alexander walked back to her, and sat by her. “Yeah...I do.” “Alex...promise me...” Alexander took her hand, and held it. “Yes, Love?” “Promise me...that what ever happens to me...I’ll always be there for you...Please, remember that...” “I will honey..I will...” Alex kissed her upon the cheek again...but then he realized that something else was wrong.

“Julia...is there something you’re not telling me?” Julia looked down, and started to cry. “I can’t lie to you, Alexander...I just can’t live a damn lie...” Alexander was now scared. “Julia...” “The lupus that I have?” “Yeah...?” Well...it’s gotten worse.” “Worse? What the hell do you mean, ‘worse’?” “Over the years, when I told you that I’ve been having headaches? Well, they weren’t just any headache...They were tumor growth pains.” “Tu–tumor growth pains? Julia...please...don’t tell me...”

Julia was choked up, but she had to tell him. “I have 2 malignant tumors on my frontal lobe...they’re at their final stages...Alex...I’m so sorry...” Alex looked at her with tears in his eyes. “Julia...don’t be sorry....this is not your fault...I...” AJ couldn’t take it...he sat there and cried...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alex went into the hospital, with the rest of his friends. Howie walked up to the receptionists’ desk. “Hello. We’re here to see a Mrs. Julia McLean? We’re here to surprise her”. The receptionist called them over to a corner. “I’m very sorry, you guys....but Julia passed away this morning...The doctors did everything they could to revive her...I’m truly sorry...” The guys were in utter disbelief...all but Alex. “Heh...what a kidder. Mrs. Ramirez...please...Can we see Julia?”

Howie, Brian, Kevin, and Nick looked at each other. “Mr. McLean...I’m sorry...Julia died this morning.” Alex’s near smile instantly turned into a frown.

“She’s....she’s dead?” “Yeah, J...Look, man...” AJ walked up to a wall, and started banging hard on it. “She’s not dead....She’s NOT dead! SHE’S NOT DEAD!!” AJ put his back against the wall, slid down, and cried. His face was in his hands, his knees were to his chest...he was now incomplete.

It was the moment of truth. He had to do this. He had no other choice. “Kevin...?” Alex began. “Yeah, Dawg?” “Can you hold on to me? Please?” “Yeah, bro. Anytime...” As they all got out of the limo, Kevin held Alex up, for he was weakened. “Well,” began Howie, “We’re here...Are you ready, AJ?”

Alex looked up at Howie, and shook his head. “Howie...I was never ready for things like this. I’m here to say goodbye to the one person that made me feel alive...Things like that you’re not ready for.” “She’s in a better place though, Bone.” said Nick, closing the door of the car, looking at Alex. Alex looked at Nick, and walked to him. “How dare you?” “How dare I what?” “How DARE you say that to me? I have had it up to here with this ‘she’s in a better place’ bullshit! Julia’s gone! She’s never coming back to me....Why would you even say that?!“ "Gee...sorry, man.” “Just...get away from me...”

As Alex walked away from Nick and the rest of the guys, he walked up to the house. “Oh God...” he said to himself. “I can’t do this...I just can’t...I’m not ready for this....I just...” He felt a hand upon his shoulder. He turned around, and he saw his mother. “Mom...” “Dear heart...You have to. Even though it’s very hard to let someone go...but...you can do this...don’t let Julia down...” Alexander looked up at the sky, in search for an answer. “What will I do…?” Alexander thought. He said a silent prayer to the heavens, and then to Julia. “Ok, mom…I’ll do it. For Julia…”

The church fell silent. There was no noise coming from anywhere. The only thing that you could hear was sounds of friends and family shedding tears of sadness. “J, are you sure that you can do this?” asked AJ’s close friend, Kris. “Yeah. I can. I have to. Even though it’s going to be harder down the road…I can do this.” “I know you can, Bone. She’ll e very happy that you did.” Kris gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, and walked out of the room. Alexander stood against a wall, and looked up. “Julia…This is only a temporary vacation. I will see you again someday…I know I will.”


Friends and family sat at the pews of the church. They awaited Alex to come and read out his eulogy. It was painful for him to do this, but he was going to be alright. He knew in his heart that he’ll see her again. As he walked towards the podium, he cleared his throat, and everyone listened.

“Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming. Julia Gauthier meant the world to me. When we first met, I knew that we would be forever…but forever was sliced in half by death. When I found out that she perished… my world collapsed. I thought that I would never be the same again without her. She was the life of everything. She was the jewel of everyone’s lives. Why am I saying ‘was’? Let me rephrase. She is the life of everything. She is the jewel of our lives…she’s just…” Alexander tried to hold back tears. “She’s just the best thing that ever happened to me. Julia is with the heavens now, singing a beautiful song with the angels.” Alexander looked down at the podium for a second, and then looked back up at the people. “I know that we will see each other again…Thank you.”

Alexander had a bouquet of red and white roses, and placed them outside the coffin. He saw her embedded within the glass coffin, eyes closed, forever resting in peace. Her skin was of a rosy porcelain; maybe it was set naturally… or maybe not.

An hour later, everyone got ready to leave the church. Nick ran up to Alex. “Yo, J! Wait!” Alexander turned around, and saw him. “What?” “J…I just want to say…that I’m sorry for what I said.” “Nick…don’t worry about it. It’s fine. I’m not mad anymore.” Nick smiled at him, and hugged him.

After Alex said goodbye to everyone, he got in his Range Rover, and drove off.


“…Alex…? Alexander…” Alex woke up, and saw Julia. He couldn’t believe it. His one true love wasn’t dead after all. He knew deep within that it was a cruel joke. “Julia! You’re alive!” Julia shook her head at him. “I’m not alive. I’m still deceased.” “I don’t understand…how—“ Alex looked over to his right, and saw a destroyed car, and policemen surrounding it.

There was a limp body lying underneath the car. “No…that can’t be…I’m dead?” “I’m afraid so, Alex…but I’m sending you back. This is not your time yet.” Alex walked to her, and held her hands. “But Julia…I need you…I want to be with you, for always…” “And you will…but this is not your time. We will meet again. I guarantee it…” After that was said, Julia gave him a sweet kiss.

“Until we meet again, Alex…I love you.”