Chapter One: Panic

"Guys, please don't fight right before the show starts," a tired Kevin Richardson groaned, rubbing his aching temples for the millionth time that afternoon. Nick and AJ had been at each other's throats since they stormed into rehearsals screaming. During sound check that night, Kevin had to break up a fist fight between them. In fact, all five Backstreet Boys had been arguing that morning at some point, but Nick and AJ had been at it all afternoon.
"Nick started it," AJ said as he plopped down and sank into the soft leather couch cushions in their green room backstage. Nick walked in shooting AJ a dirty look before taking out his Sidekick and texting furiously. Kevin grabbed the phone and threw it into the corner of the room.
"You guys have been going at it all day...Kevin's getting a headache..." Howie said softly as the person in question grabbed for a bottle of asprin. Nick brushed his blonde hair out of his face and scowled without a reply. AJ muttered something to him and Nick's face instantly filled with rage.
"I'LL KILL YOU!!" he screamed as he pounced on top of the rebel. Brian ran over and held him back, Nick swinging his arms wildly and without hesitation.
"ENOUGH!!" Kevin roared from behind them.
"Will you two give it a rest? Nicky, calm down." Kevin begged. Nick shot him a dirty look at the sound of his nickname.
"Stop calling me that, I'm not a baby anymore." he snapped bitterly.
"If you didn't act like a spoiled brat all the time, we wouldn't treat you like one, Carter."
"AJ, don't!" Brian warned.
"Jay, apologize to Nicky." Kevin said, downing the aspirin and sighing.
"Why does it always have to be me?" AJ asked.
"Because it usually is you," three of the guys said in unison. Nick had a smug grin on his face as he stood in front of AJ, relishing the apology he had coming.
"Drop dead, Carter!" he shouted. Nick stared at him in shock, then exchanged looks with the other three guys before mumbling something.
"I said drop dead, get the fuck out of my face and my life. I don't want anything to do with you." AJ repeated, every word stinging with pure hatred. As soon as the words left his mouth, AJ saw that Nick's eyes began to tear.
"Oh, here come the waterworks..." he muttered.
"AJ, stop." Brian pleaded as he noticed the sudden change of mood in the room.
"He didn't mean it, Nicky." Kevin said as he led Nick out of the room and into the hallway.
"Why did you say that to him, Jay? What the hell were you thinking? You know he and his mother had another fight over the phone today, why do you need to stress himn out for?" Brian whispered angrily. AJ didn't answer but shoved past Howie and left the room, Brian's question hanging in the air. About ten minutes or so later, the concert was to start. The boys were lifted high above the crowd in their harnesses, having practiced numerous times and feeling safe as they glided over the throngs of screaming girls. As the music began to play, Nick was starting to feel nervous, and rememebred he hadn't taken his anxiety medication at all that day. The first notes of the Star Wars theme began to play and Nick took a reassuring look over to Brian who smiled back. Suddenly, one of the cables attatched to Nick snapped right in half. Screaming, Nick was held on by one wire and swayed over the panicking crowd of girls below.
"Someone grab him!!" Kevin screamed. Nick tried desperately to stay up as AJ swung near him and grabbed onto his arms.
"Don't let go!!" Nick pleaded, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. His face flushed with sheer terror, Nick cried out as his other cable snapped. AJ began to lose his grip when the second wire broke, but regained his hold on his bandmate's wrists.
"AJ!!" Nick shouted when his hands started to slip a few moments later. He tried so hard to hold onto AJ but his hands were sweaty. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as Nick tumbled down and slammed into the floor below, his microphone screeching as it landed on the concrete floor and a small pool of blood forming under his head. Nick Carter's mind was overtaken with darkness as the echoing screams of his bandmates filled his ears.

Chapter 2: Unbreakable

"Nick's been in there for four hours, that's way too long....he should have finished already..." Brian started muttering worriedly as the four men sat in the waiting room. Nick had been rushed right to surgery since he had fallen nearly twenty feet.
"Relax, Bri. Nicky's a tough kid...he'll pull through, don't worry." Kevin reassured him, placing his hand on his shoulder. Brian glared at AJ who was sitting in the corner with his head buried in his hands. He stood up, his fists clenched so tight that his knuckles had turned white. AJ barely looked up when he walked over to him.
"Rok, no." Howie whispered, tugging on his sleeve, but Brian was already on the move.
"This is all your fault, AJ." Brian said through clenched teeth. AJ looked up, his eyes wet and bloodshot from silent tears.
"What? How the fuck is this my fault?" the rebel demanded, putting down his sunglasses on the chair next to him and standing up, his face hovering an inch from his bandmate's.
"You told Nicky to drop dead, and then you made sure it would happen....you let go of him on purpose."
"Are you listening to yourself?! Why would I want anything to happen to him? As much as he and I don't get along, I would never want him to get hurt...how could you say that this is my fault?"
"Nobody blames you, Jay...." Kevin began, but Brian interrupted him.
"AJ wanted him to die." he said tearfully, and AJ jumped on him, knocking him to the ground.
"Fuck you, Brian!!"
"Which one of you is Mr. Richardson?" a timid voice asked from the doorway. Kevin pulled AJ off of his cousin and then followed the doctor out into the hallway to discuss Nick's condition. The Backstreet Boy and the doctor talked for about a half hour before Kevin came back into the room, sitting down next to Howie and rubbing his temples once more.
"What did he say, Kev? Is Nick going to be okay?" Howie asked, since he could tell Brian didn't want to. Kevin wiped a tear out of his eyes and sighed deeply.
"Nicky's in a coma." he whispered softly, not wanting to believe it himself.

Chapter 3: Quit Playing Games

Nick woke up in a well decorated room with the biggest headache he had ever felt.
"What happened to me last night?" he wondered to himself as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and adjusted to the lighting in the room. The bedsheets were black satin and quite comfortable....Nick thought briefly about not getting up but he heard something that made him jump.
"NICK!" the voice rang through his ears, bounced off the walls and echoed through the empty room. Nick fully opened his eyes and came face to face with a pair of green eyes staring back at him.
"Morning sunshine!" a man's voice answered, and Nick's eyes shot open before he screamed in terror. He fell out of the king sized bed, landing on the hardwood floor with the sheets landing on top of him. Arms flailing, he pulled the covers off of him to find a man with spiked blonde hair grinning at him from on top of the bed, a smile playing at his lips.
"I'm sure I wasn't that bad! Come back to bed, silly boy." he cooed softly. Nick screamed again and fell over several times as he tried to back himself away from the bed. The green eyed stranger looked confused as he got out of the bed, and Nick realized that the man was naked. Closing his eyes, Nick shuddered.
"Get.....out..." he said, shaking with anger and frustration. The man left quietly and Nick made a face at the door as he left. Horrified, Nick immediately took a hot shower as if to clense himself of anything that he might have done before waking up. Putting on some fresh clothes, Nick walked out of the room and into a gleaming kitchen.
"Morning, Nick....your boss called, and you never showed up for work last night. Why did a guy come running out of your room?" AJ McLean asked from the counter where he was eating breakfast. Nick stared at him in shock....AJ had no tatoos and his hair was a light shade of brown...its natural color.
"What the fuck happe..did you say I have a job? Like a regular one?" he asked in confusion.
"Not anymore, you don't." AJ said blankly as he ate his scrambled eggs.
"Ha ha...this is a great joke that you and Rok came up with...and that guy in my room was so convincing. So where is everyone anyway?" Nick asked, chuckling.
"What are you talking about and who is Rok?" AJ asked, turning around to face him. Nick had never noticed that his eyes were brown before...it was the first time he had seen AJ without his trademark dark glasses on.
"The joke you and Brian are playing on me right now?" Nick said, looking around what appeared to be a loft apartment. He didn't remember how he had gotten there or why he was there in the first place.
"Okay, this is going far enough. I can understand why you act like you don't know Brian because you act like you don't know him anyways. I can't figure out what that guy was doing in my room or what the hell happened to you damn tatoos." Nick said.
"Hey, watch your mouth." AJ admonished. That had done it. Nick stared at the rebel in shock, for he was the last person that he expected to tell him off for cursing. Nick ran a hand through his messy hair and his eyes tried to search for answers.
"Quit messing with me, Jay...what is going on here?" he demanded.
"My name is Alex....we've been living together for about three years and you still don't get my name right." AJ scowled at him.
"I'm losing my mind...." Nick thought as AJ left to go to work.
"I'm going to be down at the church for a while, okay? No wild parties wwhile I'm gone." he said warmly.
"YOU are going to church?"
"Yeah, I'm a youth pastor...so I kinda have to go to church. What's gotten into you today, Nick?" AJ said before he left the house, Nick feeling more confused than ever.
"Nick..." he heard the voice echo in his mind a second time, followed by a strange feeling of dizziness. Nick sighed and looked around the apartment, trying to figure out how he had gotten there.

Chapter 4: Weird World

"What the fuck is happening to me?" Nick thought as he wandered around the empty apartment, rubbing his throbbing head. Since he had nothing else to do, Nick found the computer in the corner and tried to sign onto his AIM account...but kept getting rejected. He tried his Yahoo, MSN, ICQ and MySpace, but it was as if he didn't exist. Feeling frustrated, Nick did a search on Google about the Backstreet Boys and when nothing came up, Nick decided that he was officially going crazy. Getting up, Nick walked out of the apartment building and his eyes opened wide at what he saw in front of him.
"Woah..." he gasped, looking across the street. The apartment was on the edge of Central Park in New York City. Nick didn't remember ever living in New York....he didn't even own an apartment. His home was in Florida....why would he live in New York? After boarding a crowded subway car, Nick got off at Times Square. Nick saw a crowd of people near the MTV building and walked over nervously, preparing himself to be mobbed by the crowd of screaming girls, but nothing happened.
"Get out of my way, loser!" a young girl shouted, almost knocking him into the street.
"What the hell is your problem?" Nick shouted at her. She was holding a sign and pointing up at the window where NSYNC was waving out at them.
"Bastards....even in my nightmares they manage to ruin my day." Nick muttered to himself as he walked away from the crowd in Times Square and began to wander.
"Nick..." the voice echoed again and Nick shook it away as he went back underground. Near the stairwell he heard a familiar voice singing nearby and recognized the song...it was I'll Never Break Your Heart.
"HOWIE!!" Nick shouted as he ran over to the singer and grabbed him into a bear hug. The man looked horrified and backed away in fear.
"What the hell are you doing?" the latino shouted. Nick looked at Howie in suprise. He had long scraggly hair and a beard....and his clothes were baggy. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days and he had a beer belly.
"D, what happened to you? You look like total shit. I told you to lay off of the hair products." Nick joked as Howie stared on in confusion.
"Who are you?"
"Damn, you don't remember me either? This is getting ridiculous." Nick said, rolling his eyes and preparing for yet another argument.

Chapter 5: Trouble Is

"Get the hell away from me, asshole!" Howie snapped. Nick blinked at him, suprised to hear him talk to him that way.

"It's me, Nick. You don't remember me?" he repeated.

"No....who the hell are you and why were you hugging me?"

"I'm so happy to see you..."

"Look, blondie. I have never met you in my life. I'm outta here." Howie said, starting to walk away. Nick grabbed him by his sleeve, stopping him.

"What do you want?" Howie demanded angrily.

"Please, D. I don't know how you don't remember me. We have known each other forever. Just listen...." Nick started, but soon he was on the ground. Howie had punched him in the eye, and run off. Nick watched him run as he nursed his face. Head throbbing, he stood in the subway as the people walked by, feeling alone for the first time in many years.

"Nick...." the voice echoed in his head again, and the familiar dizzy feeling followed. He shook it away and walked out of the subway, rubbing his head. All he wanted was to get back to his real life. Nick walked for what seemed hours before he spotted a short man with curly brown hair in the crowd.

"BRIAN!!" he yelled, but the man seemed to disappear. Running to catch up, Nick pushed his way through the throng of people crossing the busy street.

"Nick..." the voice came and went once more, this time louder than before. Nick shook it off, but this time the dizziness didn't leave.

"Stop talking to me!" he shouted, and people around him gave him strange looks. Grinning sheepishly, Nick continued on his pursuit of the man that looked so much like Brian. What would happen when he found him, Nick could only guess.

Chapter 6: Never Gone

"I can't do this, Kevin." AJ said, standing outside of Nick's hospital room.
"Please, Jay. You will never forgive yourself if you don't see him at least."
"you just don't understand..."AJ began, but Brian cut him off.
"He can't look at Nicky because he knows it is his fault..."
"Will you two stop it?! Nick is in a coma and all you can do is blame AJ!" Howie shouted in frustration. The four of them entered Nick's room, where their bandmate lay motionless. He was hooked up to various machines and his head covered in bandages. Brian and Kevin neared the bed and AJ stood by the door, Nick's screams echoing in his ears.
"Nick, can you hear me? Nick!" Kevin shouted.
"the doctor said to keep calling his name, it may bring him out of this coma." he explained.
"I can't do this." AJ said aloud before leaving the room abruptly. He ran until he got outside, lit a cigarette and started puffing. His brown eyes tearing, AJ remembered the accident again. The look of terror on his friend's face and the horrified screams wouldn't leave.
"Don't let go!" Nick shouted. Eyes closed, he watched Nick fall out of his grip once more.
"AJ?" a voice jarred him from his thoughts.
"I didn't mean it, I'm sorry!" AJ shouted. Brian stood there with his mouth hanging open as AJ broke down, sobbing.
"Shhh, it's all right....I am sorry for blaming you." Brian drawled softly as the rebel wept into his shoulder.
"I didn't mean for him to really drop dead, honest....now he is gone and I hate myself for it!"
"Nick..." Brian whispered as he looked into the darkening sky.

Chapter Seven: Not For Me

Nick looked wildly around the crowded street and ran after the man that looked so much like Brian. The man seemed to be in a hurry, running through the throng of people on the sidewalks. He finally ducked into a small club nearby and disappeared again. Nick coughed as he entered the dark and smoky room inside, looking for Brian. At one end of the room sat a large stage with tables in front of it, and at the other end stood a bar. A tall man with green spiked hair was serving drinks. Nick scanned the room from his seat at the bar while he waited for the bartender to serve him.

"What'll ya have, kid?" the man asked in a country accent. Nick looked up and a pair of deep green eyes stared back at him.

"Kevin?" he said blankly, recognizing him. Kevin looked annoyed yet suprised that Nick knew his name.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he growled as Nick gaped at him, his eyes wide in shock.

"Did you wax your eyebrows?" the young blonde asked. Someone sitting nearby chuckled and Kevin was more annoyed than ever. Nick couldn't stop staring at Kevin's face, it was too weird for him to see those perfectly shaped eyebrows on Kevin's forehead.

"What do you want to drink?"

"They look so weird...."

"Get the fuck off of my eyebrows and order something before I throw you out of here!" Kevin yelled angrily. Nick quickly ordered a Jack Daniels and continued his search for Brian. Kevin seemed so different with his green hair and pierced nose....and so angry. Music blared from the speakers and Nick saw some girls dancing by the stage as Kevin brought him his drink.

"Nick...." the voice came again, but louder than before.

"Stop it!" Nick said aloud even though he hadn't intended to. Kevin stood there with Nick's drink in hand, eyeing him curiously.

"Are you all right, kid?" he drawled softly, placing the glass on the counter. Nick drank most of it in one swallow, and his headache intensified.

"I thought I saw Brian come in here." he muttered, placing money on the counter for Kevin to take.

"Why are you looking for Brian?" Kevin demanded as the music blared louder. A spotlight had appeared on the stage and the curtain drew back. Nick continued swallowing his beer.

"Did he come in here, or....oh my God." he began, but his eyes went wide as Brian had appeared on the stage, dressed in a cowboy outfit.

"That's not Brian....it can't be." Nick said in disbelief as he watched Brian taking off his clothes to the excitement of the girls in front of the stage. He swung his shirt around and tossed it onto a brunette in the front.

"Why are you looking for Brian?" Kevin asked again. Nick took another swallow of his drink and promptly spit it out when he saw Brian in nothing but a leopard print G string, humping the stage. Nick ran for the bathroom, feeling sick to his stomach and leaving Kevin staring after him in suprise.

"Nick..." the disembodied voice rang through his ears once more as Nick vomited in the bathroom, the contents of his stomach decorating the empty stall. He sat on the floor in the bathroom stall, wishing that he had never seen Brian like that. He was not prepared for this at all.....then remembered that the sign over the club read Backstage Boys. smirking at the name of the club, Nick washed his face and reemerged from the bathroom. He sat down at the bar once more where Kevin greeted him with a glass of water.

"You okay?" he asked. Not answering, Nick drank the water and noticed that Brian sat in the stool nearby, counting a stack of singles he had gotten and smoking a cigarette.

"This guy was looking for you, cuz." Kevin pointed out. Brian glared at Nick and stopped counting, then blew the cigarette smoke right in his face.

"What the fuck do you want?" Brian demanded angrily. Nick was surpised to hear his friend talk to him this way.

"Since when do you smoke?" he asked. Brian took a drink from the shot glass in front of him and gave him a dirty look in reply.

"Who is this asshole, Kev? Telling me what to do?" he said, putting out the remainder of the cigarette.

"He was looking for you. That's all I know....more Vodka? I thought you stopped drinking." Kevin replied. Brian slammed the glass down in front of his cousin.

"Hell no...." he said, laughing.

"This can't be you, Brian. You don't drink." Nick protested. Brian had numerous tatoos on his arms and was very muscular. This Brian had a lot of anger and bitterness inside of his voice.

"Listen here, kid. I don't care if you were looking for me. I can drink when I want to, smoke when I want to, and do whatever the fuck I want to...." he shouted. Nick felt tears welling up in his eyes as Brian yelled at him and cursed him out, then went to give lapdances to the brunette who had just given him some money.

"What is his problem?" Nick asked Kevin, who leaned over the counter to talk.

"Brian is an alcoholic....I've been trying to get him to quit...it's my fault he ended up like this because I used to drink too. But this is how he is....why were you looking for him anyway?" he asked.

"I thought he was my friend....but that is clearly not the Brian I know. He would never talk to me like that or drink or smoke....I wish I knew how to get my life back." Nick replied.

"Your life?"

"Everything is so screwed up....Brian should not be a dancer....he had a wife and a son....so did you. None of this makes sense. We are supposed to be together...all five of us...I don't know why all of this happened to me, but nobody remembers anything. This life is not for me at all...I want my old one back." Nick said sadly before leaving the club, Brian's insults ringing in his ears.

Chapter 8

Kevin sat in a chair next to Nick's hospital bed, watching his chest slowly rise and fall, listening to the sound of the heart monitor beeping behind him. He had never been in the room alone with Nick before, and it was too quiet for him. Taking a deep breath, he took Nick's hand in his own and held it, suprised by how cold it was.
"Nick, you there? It's me...Kevin." he said loudly. Nick did not respond, but his blood pressure seemed to rise. Kevin grinned and continued talking even though the young man was not answering him. He got so lost in the conversation that he didn't notice Howie standing in the doorway.
"Having fun? Or are your boring Nicky to death?" Howie joked, chuckling.
"Hey, Kaos." he added with a wave as he quickly looked him over. Nick's face was still bruised but the swelling had gone down.
"I've been talking with him, I wish he would talk back." Kevin explained, wiping his eyes. Howie sat down next to the bed on the opposite side of the room.
"I miss how he used to pick on me, never thought I wanted him to play a prank like the old days." he agreed. The two of them laughed then began sharing their best memories of Nick.
"Remember that time I yelled at him in the hallway at the hotel in New York?" Kevin said suddenly.
"I think the whole hotel remembers that one, Kev. Nick came running out of the room and you were in you boxers screaming at him in the hallway."
"He barged into my room singing at six in the morning! What was I supposed to do?" Kevin said, hardly able to talk because he was laughing so much. Howie shook his head and laughed too.
"What song was that?" he asked. Grins spread across their faces and they started singing.
"Here I am, rock you like a hurricane..." the two men laughed.
**********************************************************
Nick walked out of the club and was humming an old rock song to himself...he remembered it from when he was younger.
"Rock you like a hurricane..." he sang softly. Even in the crowded subway car he felt very much alone in this new world he had woken up in. He missed AJ's attitude, Brian's laughter, Kevin's anal tendancies, and Howie. He wasn't sure what he missed about Howie, but as he thought about it, his head throbbed and he swore he could hear someone laughing. rubbing his head, Nick felt a bruise above his temple and wondered if he had really fallen.
"Weird," he mumbled as yet another headache answered in reply. Coming out of the subway again, Nick saw the sign for Madison Square Garden and it all came flowing back. He remembered everything....the fight with AJ and falling over twenty feet to the floor. Nick couldn't even think about why he and AJ had been fighting in the first place.
"Nick...." the voice echoed once more, and Nick had never felt more alone as he walked the busy street of Manhattan.

Chapter 9


Brian looked up when AJ walked into the hospital room. AJ looked angry as he stomped in and sat down.
"I can't believe that asshole doctor wants to take him off life support." he snapped as he took off his sunglasses. Brian shrugged his shoulders and squeezed Nick's hand again. The guys had all been visiting Nick several times a day since he had been in the coma, and it had been a month and a half since the accident. Nick still was unresponsive to everything they had tried.
"Jay, the doctor knows what's best for Nick. You don't want him to be a vegetable forever, do you?"
"Well, I don't want the kid to die either though." AJ said, looking sourly at his bandmate in the bed.
"Did you talk to him today?"
"Yeah, I was singing to him before. He hasn't moved yet." Brian explained sadly. The doctor had been in to see Nick and had said Nick's parents gave permission to take him off of life support to see if he would come out of the coma.
"This is all my damn fault, we shouldn't have fought."
"Jay, stop blaming yourself. Nick wouldn't care about whatever it was anyway."
"Brian, it wasn't that simple. I told him to drop dead! Imagine if you were me, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if those were the last words you ever said to him." AJ said, his eyes starting to water again. He sniffed as Brian put a hand on his shoulder.
"You didn't mean it, I am sure. We have to stay positive for Nicky. He can hear everything we are saying." he said with a comforting smile. AJ still felt guilty for telling Nick to drop dead. The image of Nick's was burned in his brain and when he closed his eyes he swore he could hear Nick screaming. He had been seeing a therapist but stopped because he couldn't handle it anymore. The reality of it all was starting to sink in, that Nick was gone.
"But I said it, Bri. I still said that to him. It was a stupid fight anyways." AJ replied, looking away and wiping his eyes. The two of them called Nick's name all afternoon until Howie and Kevin showed up.
"Hey, Kaos." Kevin said as he ruffed Nick's hair playfully. Nick didn't stir, his heart monitor beeped in reply.
"You are a dickhead, Kevin." AJ said suddenly. Howie and Brian exchanged looks, suprised that he would pick a fight with Kevin here.
"What is it now? I am not the one who said they can pull the plug." Kevin stated angrily.
"Nick is going to die! Can't you see that? He is coming back, he is just lost!" AJ yelled.
"He is ready to go and its the doctor's orders, not mine."
"Bullshit! That is fucking bullshit."
"AJ, stop it! You aren't helping matters."
"Nick will die...."
"Calm yourself, Jay. Nick is ready. His vitals keep dropping and he is still in the coma. He isn't coming back," Kevin shouted back, tears in his eyes as well. While this was going on, Brian could have sworn Nick was squeezing his hand back.
"You're too busy being the goddamn boss! Nick is in there!" AJ hollered as Howie was trying to quiet him down. Brian was praying under his breath and holding Nick's hand. Nick's eyelids fluttered but after a minute he was still again.
"Maybe he is right, Kevin. Can't we wait a little longer?" Brian begged.
"Look, I want him back as much as the rest of you. His parents want this done, there isn't anything I can do. This is killing me to see Nicky like this," Kevin cried.
"Kev, he moved." Brian said suddenly, as he felt Nick squeeze his hand again.
"Nick! Nick, come back!" AJ shouted, shaking his shoulder gently. Nick didn't move again after that and the guys left, but AJ stayed behind.
"Come on, its getting lAte." Kevin said, waving for him to come to the door.
"I am not leaving his side. Backstreet Boys stick together." AJ said. Kevin walked out and smiled, but he didn't have the heart to tell AJ that they were pulling the plug on Nick the next morning.

Chapter 10

Kevin went into the hospital room the following morning to find AJ asleep in the chair next to Nick's bed. Kevin smiled at the two of them. Since the accident AJ had shown a side of him that the guys hadn't seen since the group started.
"Hey, Kev." AJ mumbled when he saw him standing there.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" Kevin asked as he saw AJs bloodshot eyes.
"Maybe an hour."
"You should go and get some sleep."
"I am not leaving him, what if he wakes up?" AJ said, his eyes drifting to Nick laying in the bed nearby. His chest rose and fell slowly and the heart monitor beeped in reply. Kevin sighed, now was the time to tell him. He sat down in front of AJ like he was playing the role of father once more.
"Jay, this is not easy for me to tell you." he began softly.
"Don't do this, Kevin. Nick is gonna be fine." AJ protested, shaking his head and taking Nick's hand once again. He squeezed it tightly and called his name again.
"AJ...sometimes you have to say goodbye even if you don't want to." Kevin began again. AJ ignored him and called Nicks name louder to drown out Kevin's voice.
"Come on, Jay. Nick isn't going to make it. The doctor is taking him off live support today."
"HE WHAT?! I am sure you told him no, right?" AJ shouted. He looked to Kevin and the two were silent.
"Right? Cause we both know Nick is gonna come back."
"I'm afraid that isn't true. You see, NicK's vitals are dropping every day...he is dying and there is nothing we can do. He has been in this coma for too long and he won't come out of it." as soon as the words left Kevin's mouth, AJ started yelling in protest.
"You're just giving up on him? He almost woke up yesterday, ask Brian!"
"This is in Nick's best interest. His doctor says there is no way he is coming out of this coma, you have to let go." Kevin replied.
"Nick, come on!! I know you can hear me!" AJ screamed as tears ran down his face. Brian and Howie arrived at that moment and saw AJ shaking Nick, screaming his name.
"Stop it, you aren't helping him!" Brian shouted as he tried to pull AJ away. Kevin grabbed him and held him back as the doctor walked into the room.
"Son of a bitch!" AJ cursed, struggling to get free of Kevin's grip. The doctor looked a bit frightened as he checked Nick over once more.
"I will be back in a little while to take him off of the life support." he said before walking back out of the room, AJ cursed loudly as he left.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Control yourself!" Kevin admonished. Brian went near the bed and held Nick's hand, squeezing it gently. Like the day before, he could have sworn he felt Nick return it but figured he was just being hopeful. The guys all started to say their goodbyes to Nick and AJ wouldn't.
"He is most likely going to die once the life support is taken away. You better say something to him," Kevin commented. AJ strode over to the bed and looked down at Nick. His eyelids were fluttering a bit.
"Nick is moving!" he exclaimed, practically jumping. Kevin went near and bent down to see, but Nick was motionless.
"Jay, making things up is not helping the situation."
"I swear!! He is trying to wake up!" AJ shouted happily. The other three men glanced at each other.
"Stop this nonsense, Jay." Kevin scolded him just as the doctor came into the room again. Before any of them could react, AJ had jumped on the doctor and was beating him about the head as he cursed him out.
"Motherfucker, you better not lay a hand on Nicky! He ain't dead yet...." he screamed. Kevin and Howie tried to pull their bandmate off of the frightened doctor. Brian was busily praying as he held Nick's hand between his own hands.
"Please, Nick. I know you.....you aren't about to give up. Find your way back to us." he whispered, the sounds of the guys fighting nearly drowning his voice out. Nick still didn't respond.
"NICK! Come on....wake up." Brian repeated, shaking him gently. Nicks eyes fluttered once more and he moaned softly. Brian cheered and tried to get his cousin's attention.
"Kevin..." he said, as Kevin yelled at AJ.
"What?" Kevin snapped. Brian was about to tell him about Nick but the grin slowly faded as Nick lay still once more. Nick was not about to call it quits, he seemed to be fighting to wake. Brian shook his head as AJ leapt on the doctor once more. Howie stared at all of them in shock, hoping that this would stall the doctor and let Nick have another chance. Hell, he deserved it....they all did.

Chapter 11

Nick opened his eyes and blinked. He was in the apartment again, laying in the king sized bed with its satin sheets. It was then he realized this really was his life and he had to make the best of it. After taking his shower he walked out to find AJ sitting there.
"Feeling better? You sure acted strange yesterday." AJ commented as Nick downed a cup of coffee.
"AJ, do you ever feel like this is not the life you are supposed to be living?" he asked suddenly. AJ looked at him in suprise at the question.
"Wow, that is a deep question. What brought this on?"
"Imagine if you had this whole other life, then you wake up one day and its completely different?"
"Nick....God has a plan for all of us. You live the life you choose to live. If you are happy, it will all turn out exactly the way you want." AJ said wisely. Nick nodded and AJ left to go to church. Nick sat there for a while and decided it was time to just accept he would never be a Backstreet Boy again. He wandered out into New York again and decided to look for a job. Heading into the crowded subway again, he heard singing. Howie was standing nearby singing again as people passed him by without a glance.
"Not you again!" Howie shouted as Nick walked over.
"I am sorry for yesterday. Can I make it up to you? I am sure you are hungry." Nick said with a grin. Howie happily accepted and the two of them went to a diner nearby.
"So who did you say you were?" Howie asked as Nick dumped 10 sugars in his coffee.
"You don't know me but I know you. This is not how things are supposed to be."
"Okay..."
"Look, I am so sorry if I freaked you out." Nick apologized again. The waitress brought their food and Howie ate like he hadn't eaten in a month.
"Thank you for the food." Howie said after a while.
"You look hungry, need something else? Something to take home?" Nick offered. Howie wiped his mouth and shook his head.
"I can't put it anywhere but my pockets....I lost my home a few years ago." Howie explained sadly.
"How did that happen?"
"Well, I owned my own business and it went under. I lost my house because I owed the bank money. I live on the street now, move to a different place every night. Its not that bad." Howie told him.
"How would you like to come live with me and my roomate in our apartment? We have plenty of room." Nick offered. Howie looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He jumped up and hugged Nick tightly, tears in his eyes.
"Oh, thank you! Of course I would! Thank you!" the Latino exclaimed happily. Nick took him home and AJ greeted them.
"I am so proud of you, Nick. Its great what you did for him." AJ beamed as Howie settled in.
"Sometimes we all need some help getting where we need to go. I am giving him a second chance." Nick explained.
"We all deserve one. Maybe this is what you were meant to do, help people."
"In a way he helped me too." Nick said with a smile.

Chapter 12

"Nick...." the voice echoed in his head and interrupted his sleep. He was in his apartment still, confirming that he was stuck in this world. Nick knew he did not belong here but decided to make the best of it. He really wanted to connect with Brian....he felt like there was something he could do to help him. After a few hours he managed to find the club again and went inside. Kevin stood at the bar talking to Brian, who was smoking.
"Look who came back." Kevin said as Nick strolled towards them. Brian did not acknowledge his presence other than by blowing smoke in his face and coughing before drinking a shot of vodka.
"What's the matter, kid? You didn't see enough yesterday?" Brian snapped raspily. Nick stared at him for a while as he drank two more shots.
"Brian, are you happy?" Nick asked. Kevin looked at him in suprise at the question and Brian puffed at his cigarette.
"What kind of fucking question is that?" he snapped. Nick knew the answer but asked him again.
"Are you happy?"
"Kid, where do you get off asking something like that? Of course I am!" Brian replied with a grin as he took another shot. He was about to take another but Nick grabbed his wrist.
"HEY!!" Brian shouted.
"You are only hurting yourself doing that. Now answer me. Are you happy?" Nick said, looking directly at him.
"Brian, answer him." Kevin said, now realizing what Nick was up to.
"No, I'm not....okay?" Brian said bitterly.
"Why?" Nick asked shakily, not letting go of Brian's wrist.
"Are you my damn psychologist?" Brian yelled. He was getting more agitated by the minute, ever since Nick walked in the door.
"Just answer him, B. Please?" Kevin begged as he handed Nick a Coke. Brian puffed at the cigarette again and sighed.
"My wife left me last year. We were married for four years and about to have a baby but she lost it. Miscarriage." Brian explained.
"That's horrible."
"Shit, it was. I was heartbroken. My wife said she couldn't be with me after that and she left me." Brian continued softly, wiping his eyes.
"Would you like to see her again?" Nick asked suddenly. Brian raised an eyebrow, his piercing there moving along with it.
"That's impossible. She lives in Georgia." he stated.
"I could help you find her again." Nick said. Brian sat there in silence as he watched Nick speak.
"But why would you do that? I don't even know you, kid." he said finally. Nick shook away another dizzy spell and grinned.
"We all deserve to be happy. But I will only do this is you stop drinking."
"You're kidding me." Brian gasped.
"Nope. If you quit drinking I will help find your wife." Nick told him. Brian looked at the shotglass in his hand and nodded before throwing it to the ground, the shards falling on the floor.
"How did you do that? I been trying to get him to quit for months." Kevin said after Brian had walked away.
"If Brian really loved his wife he would quit drinking." Nick said. A few days later, Nick returned to the club and brought Brian's wife with him. She was a pretty woman with blonde hair. Brian showed her that he had stopped drinking and she seemed pleased to see him. Brian came to Nick after and was all smiles.
"Thank you so much....for everything....I am quitting dancing too. We are going to move in together again....and if we have a baby I will name him after you." Brian said, grinning. Nick felt good but wished he was home again. He would give anything to have his old life back.

Chapter 13

Nick had been in the coma for over a month now and AJ was getting restless. He came to visit Nick every day and had done everything to try and wake him, but he was unresponsive. He usually spent the first hour of his visit calling his name and begging him to wake up, then sat next to the hospital bed and just talked. He talked to Nick about everything...how the group was doing, his plans for a solo record...his girlfriend. Even though Nick was basically a vegetable, AJ treated Nick as if he were still awake.
"So Kevin told me your dogs chewed up his couch yesterday...it was pretty funny." AJ laughed, squeezing Nick's hand like he always did as he talked. Nick remained motionless, his chest rising slowly in reply as he breathed.
"I think I might take them after today. Kevin has enough going on with his kid..." he said thoughtfully. He smoothed the blanket covering Nick and fixed his pillow for him and sat down once more.
"Nick...you are in there somewhere...I told that damn doctor you are. You gotta find your way back to us. I'm sorry for that fight we had the night of your accident. I was an idiot..." AJ said softly, feeling his eyes water again. He was tired of crying, tired of feeling the guilt that Nick was in this hospital bed when it was his fault he landed in it.
"It's not your fault, Jay." Brian said suddenly, appearing next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Yes it is, Rok. I let go.....he told me not to let go..." AJ whispered.
"He slipped. There was no way you would have held him forever. We just need to hope he will come out of this and be the same Nick again."
"Why wouldn't he be Nick?"
"Sometimes after a coma....never mind that. Nick will be okay. Keep calling out to him, I think he can hear us." Brian told him, and AJ smiled as Kevin came into the room.
"How is he doing today?" Kevin asked.
"Why do you care? All you want to do is pull the plug." AJ snapped. Kevin looked away, hurt.
"Jay...I don't want him to die." Kevin snapped back. AJ let go of Nick's hand and stood up to face him.
"That's why you were going to let them take Nicky off life support, right?" he demanded, his eyes narrowed.
"Taking Nick off of life support is not my decision, if the doctor orders it, nothing I can do. I'm not his guardian, its up to his parents." Kevin explained. AJ felt so angry towards Kevin. Nick's family had not been present at all during this coma, in fact the only people to visit were Aaron and some of Nick's sisters. Nick's parents were in the middle of a divorce.
"You can tell the doctor. Nick is trying to wake up, he is trying to come back....we have to help him find us!" AJ shouted.
"I'm sorry, AJ. We already delayed this once. The doctor is coming Thursday to take him off of the life support and see if he responds. I want Nick back too, but for now we can only wait." Kevin answered, holding Nick's hand and squeezing it a little, stroking it with his thumb.
"We can't just give up." Brian said suddenly.
"I don't want to either. Nick's mother put in the order. There is nothing we can do." Kevin explained softly, tears in his green eyes. Nick moaned softly, causing Kevin to jump. AJ wasn't in the room, he had gone out for a cigarette.
"Did you hear that?" Kevin exclaimed, noticing the look on his cousin's face.
"I did. He made a noise." Brian said. The two of them cheered and watched Nick intently for some kind of movement.
"Come on, Nick...." Brian begged, silently praying in his head. Nick's eyelids fluttered and he remained still once more. Kevin shook his head in protest.
"No...no...." he whispered as the tears fell. Brian was crying too as the two of them watched Nick lay in the bed, limp and silent.
"He is trying to come back." Brian said, wiping his eyes
"I know....I really thought this would be it." Kevin agreed. The two of them decided they couldn't take any more and left the room when AJ returned. Neither of them decided to tell him about the noises Nick made, it would only get his hopes up.

Chapter 14

AJ stood outside of the hospital, smoking his second cigarette as he watched the rain fall from under the overhang. He had been doing some thinking about Nick. There just had to be something he could do to bring Nick out of the coma....a way for him to wake up. He took the cigarette and flicked it into a puddle, watching the ripples in the water. Closing his denim jacket for warmth, he walked back into the hospital and spotted Nick's mother at the reception desk.
"Shit....shit..." he cursed under his breath as he ran back to the room where Brian and Kevin were sitting.
"You alright, Jay?" Kevin asked, his eyes watchful.
"Nick's mother is here." AJ replied with disgust. Brian's eyes went wide at the mention of this news, and he squeezed Nick's hand before letting go of it to let him know he was still in the room.
"Where the hell did you see her? She didn't tell us she was coming today," Brian said.
"Maybe she is here to cancel the order." AJ said, shrugging his shoulders.
"I seriously doubt that, AJ. Why would she come all the way to New York to do that? She gave the order over the phone, she can cancel it over the phone." Kevin said as Jane walked into the room, nearly knocking AJ over. AJ was about to say something but Kevin gave him a warning glare and he fell silent.
"Out of my way." Jane said as she pushed Brian away from the bed. He fell, but caught himself by holding onto the chair as she went by.
"Hello, Jane." Kevin greeted her, holding out his hand. Jane did not take it, she gently touched Nick's face and brushed his hair out of his closed eyes.
"Kevin." she replied coldly.
"How could you take your own son off of life support? He has been trying to wake up!" AJ yelled before anyone could stop him.
"He has not improved according to the doctors and I thought it was appropriate to go ahead with the doctor's suggestion." Jane replied, her voice annoyed.
"But-"
"I don't know why you are so concerned about him, you're the one who put him in this hospital bed!!" Jane shouted, her face an inch from AJ's.
"This wasn't his fault, Jane. Nick's wire broke...there was nothing to be done." Kevin replied quickly.
"He let go of him, didn't he?! He let him fall!" Jane shouted. AJ did not reply or protest, he simply looked down at his feet in shame. He could hear Nick's screams again....could see him tumbling to the floor.
"Nick is doing better..." Brian piped up.
"Don't give me that bullcrap. He is obviously not going to wake. The doctor says it will benefit him to be off the life support."
"Jane, Nick is trying to wake up. We saw him move today..." Kevin said. AJ turned to him in surprise.
"Nicky didn't move today..." he said slowly. As he said this, Brian nearly jumped out of his shoes.
"He just moved!!!" Brian shouted excitedly.
"Don't make up stories. I'm not canceling the order, Nick is to be taken off of life support on Wednesday." Jane said. Nick made a face as the words left her mouth and he moaned softly, his eyebrows scrunched up.
"Nick....come on...." Kevin begged, shaking his shoulder gently. Nick moved his head and his eyelids fluttered once more.
"NICK..." AJ started to yell his name, getting excited and calling for him over and over. Nick's hand moved slightly as he moaned again and fell silent.
"If he would stop yelling at him Nick would wake up. You're scaring him." Jane said as she took her son's hand and massaged it with her thumb. Kevin had to hold AJ back, who was an second from attacking her.
"The doctor said we should call his name to get him to wake." Brian explained.
"I don't want this lunatic around my son. He shouldn't be allowed in the room."
"You dumb ass bitch. Nick is trying to come back...." AJ growled as Kevin held him back by his arms.
"Call me whatever you want...but mark my words, Nickolas is ready to go. The order goes as planned." Jane said as she left the room.
"No..." three sets of eyes looked at Nick. Had he just spoken? Nick lay in the bed still stiff as a board.
"Nick just spoke...did you guys hear that?" AJ asked as he took Nick's hand.
"It sounded like he said No." Brian stated in confusion, he and AJ looking at Kevin.
"I couldn't hear anything. Maybe you imagined it....we should go and get some sleep." Kevin said. AJ looked at him in disbelief.
"Kevin, don't lie. You heard him speak just now."
"Jay...I didn't hear anything." Kevin answered. He had heard Nick speak but did not want to get overly excited due to the fact Nick was being taken off life support in two days.

Chapter 15

Nick tossed and turned in his bed, tangled in the satin sheets as he slept.
"No..." he moaned softly before his eyes fluttered open. Sitting up in the bed, he frowned at the fact he was still in the apartment. The dream he had just had confused him, he heard voices calling his name from the darkness. Stumbling out of bed, he walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter from Alex, as he preferred to be called. He wanted Nick to meet him downtown for lunch. Checking his watch, Nick saw it was 1030 so he got dressed and headed for the subway.
"Nick....." the disembodied voice rang through his ears and the dizziness washed over him.
"please, not now." Nick whispered as he clutched his head in the busy street. His head felt like it was going to explode, like it was going to split in two.
"Nick....come back..."
"Stop it!" Nick sobbed quietly as the voice came but didn't leave. This time there was more than one voice. He recognized them, it was Brian and Kevin. Calling to him, begging him to come back. Nick shook the dizziness away and walked again, spotting AJ just down the street.
"Jay!" he yelled, waving. AJ was crossing the road to greet him....and Nick was horrified to see a car swerving just down the street. The driver appeared to be intoxicated, judging by the manner he was driving. Nick saw that it was headed straight for AJ and started to run.
"Nick...." the voice began as he raced for the intersection. Nick felt dizzy as he ran, the voices growing louder as he ran and jumped, pushing AJ out of the car's path. He saw the car just before it hit him head on, the force of the bumper plowing into his body as he fell. Traffic came to a standstill and people began shouting as Nick lay in the street, a stream of blood running down his face.
"Come on, Nick. Stay with me." AJ said as he knelt next to him and touched his face gently. Nick's eyes closed and he fell silent, laying motionless as people gathered around them. After a while, Nick woke up in total darkness...he felt no pain, no pain at all. He sat in the dark for some time before getting up and realzing he was in a tunnel, light shining in the distance. He could hear voices echoing in the tunnel as he started to walk, feeling dizzier with every step he took.
"Nick...."
"Go Away!" he yelled as he clutched his head again. He fell to his knees and sobbed loudly, nobody would find him here, he didn't even know exactly where he was.
"Please...come back, Nick." Brian's voice said. A flash of white light came and Nick felt like he was falling until he woke up in the street, feeling immense pain. There were paramedics standing over him, checking his breathing, putting an oxygen mask over his face.
"You'll be okay," one of them promised him. Nick felt the tears fall from his eyes and his whole body ached. He felt someone squeeze his hand and squeezed it back.
"Come back..." the voice came once more as he fought to stay conscious. Letting the dizziness get to him, he blacked out once more. Nick was frustrated as he woke up in the tunnel again, He stood up on shaky legs and was shocked to see his brother standing there.
"Aaron?" Nick called to him. Aaron smiled and shook his head.
"I'm just taking the form of someone familiar to you." he said in a deep voice that did not belong to him.
"What's happening to me? Where am I?" Nick asked shakily, backing away towards the wall. Aaron walked closer to him and Nick saw that his eyes were glowing purple.
"You are trapped between worlds....you can only exist in one." Aaron told him with a grin.
"I want to go home..." Nick cried, hearing the voices again.
"Nick, you are now in both worlds at the same time...you must choose which you want to go back to." Aaron replied, and two doors appeared next to Nick.
"What happens if I don't want to go back?" Nick asked, although he already knew the answer.
"You will die." Aaron explained. Nick stood in front the two doors, studying them. They both looked the same, no way to tell which door led where.
"How do I know which to choose?" he asked, but Aaron had vanished, leaving him to his choice. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and opened the left door. Something began pulling him into it like a vacuum....he screamed as air rushed at him on all sides and he was sucked into the door as it slammed shut, everything in the tunnel was still again.

Chapter 16


The hospital room was quiet as AJ sat next to Nick, watching him in the bed. The monitor nearby beeped slowly...in sync with the clock on the wall and the beating of his own heart. He knew this day was coming....had been dreading it, had fought against it tooth and nail...but he had lost. Nick was to be taken off of the life support in a matter of hours.
"I'm so sorry, Nick.....I fought and fought for you, I don't know what else I can do now." he muttered as he smoothed the blanket that covered Nick, then moved his hair out of his face. Nick's hair had grown....he almost looked like he was 16 again...when they were touring in Europe and just starting out.
"He looks so peaceful." Brian commented suddenly, appearing in the doorway. Brian's face looked solemn....his eyes watered as they fell on Nick.
"Yeah....at least he won't be in pain anymore." AJ said, hanging his head. He and Brian had been hoping Nick would wake, but he had remained in the coma for too long. Nick's mother had signed the order for him to be removed from the life support and there was nothing they could do.
"Can't Kevin talk to Jane? Maybe if he tells her how he moved the other day..."
"No, Jay. She won't listen, Jane wants her share of the insurance money. She could care less if he lives or dies. As horrible as that sounds, its true. There is no changing the mind of Jane Carter."
"He wants to wake up..." AJ protested once more, his temper rising again.
"Stop it. They are doing it today." Brian told him shakily. He looked away and wiped his eyes, surprised tears fell from them. He hated to admit defeat, but Nick was gone. He moved towards the bed and took Nick's hand, stroking it gently with his thumb as he sat down in the chair nearby.
"I'm going out for a cigarette, Rok. Don't let them touch him while I'm gone." AJ said before heading out of the hospital room. Brian was alone with Nick now, and didn't realize how quiet it was.
"Nick, I know you're in there. Find your way out....please..."
"uhnnnn" Brian jumped, startled when Nick made the noise.....his heart started pounding within his chest....the tears flowing down his cheeks.
"NICK.....COME ON...." he shouted, hopping to his feet. He couldn't believe Nick had moaned...it was the best sound he had heard Nick made since the accident. Brian wanted to cheer, he wanted to scream and shout, tell the whole world that Nick was back. He begged Nick to make another sound, but he had gone still once more. Brian's face fell when Nick was silent.
"No.....no...." he whispered, sobbing. Howie walked in with AJ and they saw Brian sobbing with his head resting on Nick's chest, holding his hand.
"Brian, what-" Howie started to say something but AJ's expression had changed.
"He moved? Spoke? Brian, what the HELL DID NICK DO?!" AJ demanded, his voice rising to a fever pitch. He grabbed Brian and shook him...Brian continued to sob, his head bouncing like a rag doll.
"AJ, stop it!" Howie protested as he attempted to pull him away. The three of them struggled for a while until Kevin walked into the room with the doctor and a priest.
"Brian, calm yourself." Kevin admonished, his eyes falling upon his sobbing cousin. AJ shook his head as the priest read Nick his last rites, the doctor looking over the monitors and charts as the priest spoke.
"Okay...its time to say your goodbyes...better do them now." the doctor said gravely. Kevin strode to the bed and touched Nick's chest gently. He could feel his heart beating...feel him breathing. Kevin felt his eyes water as he spoke.
"I'm sorry it came to this, little man. You were a big part of my life...of all our lives. I will miss you." he whispered, before walking away to stand near the window. Howie was next, his brown eyes shimmering. He spoke his piece, then had to steer Brian towards the bed.
"No...I cant-" he said tearfully. There was no way Brian could say goodbye to him after he had just made noise. He held onto that glimmer of hope, that hope Nick would pull through at the last minute. He refused to say goodbye, to admit defeat. AJ had been right, that Nick really was lost and trying to find his way home again. He was sorry that he had not listened before. Brian held Nick's hand and did not say goodbye, but spoke a little prayer for him before joining the other two near the large window overlooking the courtyard. It was a nice view, but it had been raining all morning. The other four men watched AJ carefully, who stood in front of Nick's bed. AJ had always hated being the last one for everything. He had no intentions of saying goodbye like the others had done. Instead, he decided it would benefit them all for him to punch the doctor in the nose.
"DON'T TOUCH NICKY!!!" AJ screamed as he leapt on the unsuspecting doctor. All he had done was move towards the monitors near Nick's bed. Kevin scrambled to restrain AJ as the priest fled the room....AJ was on the floor wrestling with the doctor, beating him about the head and shouting. Brian was crying and Howie just stood there in shock as all this went on, wondering if Nick could hear any of it.
"Jay, let the doctor do his goddamn job!!!!" Kevin's voice boomed. AJ didn't listen, he landed another blow onto the doctor, cutting his lip. Nick's monitors began to beep crazily and the chaos seemed to escalate as the minutes passed.
"Come on, Nick...." Howie whispered as his bandmates lost all self control, hoping that somewhere, wherever Nick was, he could hear them.

Chapter 17

"You son of a bitch!"
"AJ, STOP IT!!!!"
"Kevin...."
"I'LL KILL YOU!!!" There was chaos surrounding Nick's bed as the boys fought with AJ and the doctor. AJ had already given the doctor a cut lip and a bruised nose, but now they were wrestling. "DON'T TOUCH HIM!" AJ screamed as the doctor once again reached for the plug that kept Nick alive, the machine that gave him life.
"AJ, please. You really want Nick to be a vegetable?" Kevin asked over the arguing as he tried desperately to restrain AJ.
"Kevin...he....isn't....ready....to GO!" AJ said, struggling. Kevin tightened his grip on AJ and pulled him away from the frightened doctor, who kept throwing dirty looks at them. Brian could be heard crying next to the bed, holding Nick's hand and praying silently.
"Brian calm yourself. This is for the best." Kevin said.
"How can you just let him go? He moved before....you're making a mistake." Brian said, looking up at his cousin with his blue eyes full of tears.
"I didn't see him moving." Kevin replied. All of a sudden, Nick's monitors started beeping crazily and going haywire. The doctor ran to them and the noise was deafening.
"What's happening to him?" Howie asked, covering his own ears above the noise.
"I don't know, this hasn't happened before. It might just be a malfunction" the doctor replied. The beeping stopped and everything finally fell silent once more.
"Everything seems to be okay now." the doctor said, wiping some stray blood from his lip. He said he would go and clean himself up before leaving the room, promising to return. Kevin let go of AJ and slammed him into the wall.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Alex?" Kevin demanded angrily.
"I'm saving Nick's life." AJ replied, rubbing the newly forming bruise on his forearm. He picked up his sunglasses off of the floor and picked them up, put them on his face and dusted himself off.
"Saving him from what? He is already half dead." Kevin protested. The others stared at him with their mouths gaping in shock.
"Half dead?" Brian said, letting go of Nick's hand and standing up. Kevin looked down at his feet, wishing he had not said that at all.
"Kevin how can you say that?" Brian asked, his face pale.
"He is in a coma and not responding, he may as well be dead." Kevin said. "His heart is still beating, he is alive!" AJ screamed. "AJ...let it go. Nick is going to die. He has been in that coma for almost two months, we can't put this off anymore. His mother signed the papers....I'm sorry." Kevin shouted exasperatedly, not meeting his friend's gaze.
"Kevin, he moved. Just before you came in with the doctor....he moved." Brian said softly, his voice barely a whisper.
"I'm sorry, but I haven't seen him move. Nick is ready to go." Kevin protested, before walking out of the room shaking his head and rubbing it. Howie followed him down the hall, leaving AJ and Brian to themselves.
"I know I saw him move." Brian said, throwing an angry look at the door that Kevin had left from.
"Nick is in there, we have to help him find his way out." AJ said, putting his hands in his pockets.
"How, Jay? He doesn't respond to anything." Brian replied doubtfully, taking Nick's hand and massaging it with his thumb.
"What haven't we tried yet?" AJ asked, pacing the room. The two of them sat in silence for a while before Brian looked up.
"How about singing to him....we haven't done that." he offered.
"That's crazy." AJ said, walking towards the window.
"It's worth a try." Brian told him with half a smile. AJ walked over and took the other chair near Nick's bed.
"What song?" he asked. Brian laughed at the question.
"Nick's favorite is 10,000 Promises." he said, squeezing Nick's hand as he spoke.
"Are you serious?"
"Jay..."
"I'm not singing that to him. It's...."
"It's what?" Brian said with a smirk on his face.
"It's...I can't do it." AJ replied.
"You forgot the words didn't you?" Brian teased, chuckling. AJ's face turned a light shade of red and he looked at hi feet.
"Maybe..."
"Once we were dreamers...dreamers we were, you and I..." Brian sang softly. AJ searched for the next line but his mind was blank.
"Come on, Jay." Brian begged. AJ shook his head.
"I can't." he said in a defeated tone, angry at himself. He knew why he couldn't sing it...he couldn't sing to someone lying in a hospital bed. It was just too awkward.
"This idea sucks, B." AJ told him. Brian looked disappointed.
"Okay, no singing." he said in a defeated tone, looking at Nick's face. His eyelids fluttered and he was still once again.
"AJ! Nick...never mind."
"What? Did he do something?" AJ asked, running over again. Nick was completely still with the exception of his chest rising slowly.
"Just his eyes..." Brian told him as he felt his heart break. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep praying for Nick to wake up. Kevin and the others were set on letting him go, but he and AJ were convinced that as AJ himself put it...Nick was simply lost.
"Come back, Nicky. Prove them wrong...." Brian whispered as he heard the footsteps in the hallway.

Chapter 18


He was falling, falling faster and faster through the darkness that surrounded him. He had chosen a door but wasn't sure where it was taking him. As he fell, he couldn't see even his hands in front of his face...it was too dark. There was no sound, he opened his mouth to scream, but he heard nothing. He felt his heart beating within his chest, faster and faster as his body was hurtling through the void.

"Maybe I picked the wrong door," Nick thought, fearing the worst. He closed his eyes and felt the tears coming, all he had wanted was for everything to go back to the way it was before the accident. He hated the new life he had been thrown into, he missed his family and the guys. Especially the guys...they were more his family than his real one was. As he continued to fall in total darkness, he could have sworn he heard someone singing....but it was faint and muffled, like it was far away. He felt a lump in his throat as if he were choking, but he was falling so quickly that he couldn't grab for his throat....his chest grew tight and he gasped for breath. Suddenly he saw the ground below....a light was beneath him. He found his voice again and he was screaming as the ground came faster and faster. He closed his eyes as he was about to hit it, but he never did. Voices filled his ears as he lay still in the dark, unable to move or speak again.

"Nick....come on!" someone shouted suddenly, their voice filled with terror. Nick wanted to answer but he couldn't. He heard someone else yelling but didn't know what was being said. Footsteps came close to him and he felt someone holding his hand and squeezing it gently.

"Brian, it's time for him to go....." another voice said. Nick wondered who they were speaking about. He felt someone touch his face, moving his hair out of his eyes.

"He isn't ready yet!!! How can you just give up...." a second person snapped angrily. They were arguing, it sounded like someone was being restrained. He could hear another set of footsteps in the room, and it sounded like someone had attacked them. Nick felt his own eyes flutter as he tried to wake up, but for some reason he was still unable to. He felt a breathing tube down his throat, it hurt him to breathe as he lay there in the dark. Nick assumed he must be in a hospital, he heard something beeping in the back of him. His body hurt, ached all over, especially his head. The shouting nearby intensified....there was the sound of something hitting the floor. Nick finally opened his eyes to white light....and he saw Brian's face staring at him.

"OH MY GOD....KEVIN! HIS EYES!!!" Brian exclaimed once he realized a pair of blue eyes were fixated on his own. Kevin's mouth dropped open and he let go of AJ, who he was restraining from grabbing the doctor that stood near the bed.

"Nick.....oh god, Nick..." Kevin stammered, his eyes watering. Nick just looked at them in confusion, his eyes looking all over the room. The breathing tube was removed from Nick's throat and he lay in the hospital bed without speaking. Everyone was in shock of him waking that they didn't know what to say. AJ stood near the doorway, his head lowered in silence.

"Nick....he's awake...but how?" Kevin asked in disbelief.

"K-kevin?" Nick whispered weakly, looking at him.

"How you feeling, buddy?" Kevin asked, smiling as tears rolled down his face. Nick smiled at him.

"I had the craziest dream...." he replied, looking around the room. He felt so good to see them again...his friends were their normal selves. Kevin's eyebrows were bushy again, Brian's hair was blonde, and AJ had his sunglasses. Everything was the way it was supposed to be.

"We're so glad you're awake..." Brian smiled, holding his hand.

"I'm glad to be back...I was in another world...I hated it..." Nick replied. His eyes teared as he smiled at his friends...and then he saw AJ in the doorway.

"I didn't give up, Nick...I knew you were gonna wake up." AJ said suddenly, walking over to the bed.

"I know you didn't...I heard all of you calling me and calling me...trying to get me to come back....all I wanted was to come home. You were there, and Brian...all of you were in my dream.." Nick said.

"Nick, the important thing is that you're awake now. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have fought with you. It was stupid and I'm sorry." AJ said with a grin.
"Its ok AJ." Nick replied. AJ bent down and they hugged. It felt so good for Nick to see things normal again. He ached all over and thought it was strange that he felt pain from being hit by the car in his dream.

"So what dream did you have anyway?" Brian asked once Nick was checked over by the doctors. He would have to stay in the hospital a few more days before being released.

"You were a stripper." Nick grinned as AJ burst into laughter.

"You were a priest, Jay." Nick told him, and he stopped laughing.

"No way." AJ protested, ruffing Nick's hair.

"Kevin waxed his eyebrows..." Everyone laughed at this statement and Kevin felt his ears turn pink.

"Leave my eyebrows alone." he snapped with a smile. Nick smiled at all of them, it was good to be home where he belonged.