AN ESSAY I WAS COMPELLED TO WRITE by Samantha Griffin
Detention
Ms. Helga Keats

I think when someone heard the name Samantha Griffin, one would immediately remember me as the wild one, the party girl, not the whiz kid. I guess I am considering my diligent attendance at the hottest parties thrown by popular kids in school that's why I was branded as such. But still, others also see me as the nerdy one, in which I may agree. Thinking now on what others see me as, I just really don't care. I don't care if they don't know who I really am and what is my deepest desires. Only you, Ms. Keats, will be the first to know about me.

I am a person of many contrasts. I guess it's a part of the facade that I'm trying to project to the people. I grew up wanting so much in life. I came from a family who only had a mother to raise her three daughters on her own. It came to my life that I need to do something to help my mom but she doesn't want me to work. She wanted me to concentrate in my studies, and so I did. Growing up without a father gave me the need for an attention to the people I am with in school. I think that being with them will help me forget that my mother works on her three jobs a day and pushing every thing she can do just to give us the education she dreamed for us. I think that being part of the 'in' crowd in school will help me lessen the guilt I am feeling for going to school instead of working to help my mom get this family through everyday. I know that won't help but still...

Just then, I found a new diversion. I will study hard. I know that if I graduate and go to college, I may help my mother more than I wanted to. That was four years ago. I'm now a senior student and vying for the valedictory position. I will get that position in order to be awarded a full scholarship grant to UCLA. I want that. I need that. In comparison to Kevin 'the Richardson' Richardson, the richest kid in school, I have to do something to secure my future. I know that this is the only way to help my mom if she doesn't want me to work for us. I know this is the only way to fulfill my dreams.

"Wonderful still-life drawing."

Samantha turned to the person who owned the voice. His face is becoming too familiar for her since she always noticed him around whenever her class is out in the university grounds for their drawing session. She's taking up an Advertising course and she had art appreciation class which requires them to make some paintings of just about anything. She surveyed the man. He's attractive, in an exotic way. He must be one of the foreign students from South America, but the way he speaks tells her otherwise. He doesn't have an accent. She can tell that he has the genuine American dialect.

"Thanks," she replied.

"If you'll paint nude, will you take me as your model?" The man tried again. Samantha and Aileen, the woman beside her, chuckled.

"May I see your resume?" Samantha challenged. She and Aileen stopped what they're doing. The man got their full attention. Without any word, he takes off his buttoned polo shirt as well as his undershirt. Samantha silently nodded in approval. This man has a body to die for. "Nice abs," she commented.

"Thanks. That's only the top part. I can't strip all the way here. I may be charged for public scandal," he winked at them.

Samantha rolled her eyes. Aileen shakes her head. "Why are you doing this?" She asks.

"I'm bored with my life. I want to do this as a challenge. Paint me nude and I'll give each of you a hundred bucks."

Samantha and Aileen looked at each other. The offer is interesting. They need money to buy extra requirements in their class. This man is offering what they needed.

"So?" the man raised an eyebrow.

Samantha shrugged as she turned back to the man. "Alright. It's a deal, Mister..."

"Howie. Howie Dorough." They shook hands.



~~~



Samantha tightly clutched in her arms the set of presentation boards she needs for her project. It's her practical exam for her Marketing class and she devised a unique delivery for the assigned product she will be endorsing to her client, her professor. Quickly glancing at her watch, there are five minutes left before class. Her professor locks the door when classes already start. Unfortunate latecomers won't have the chance to attend the class by then. She had to hurry. She doesn't want to miss the class and get a lower grade. She started to run down the corridor.

"You're in a hurry."

Samantha didn't have to glance to check the person. It's Howie. It's been a week since she and Aileen painted him nude. She blushed at the memory. He's well-endowed and she realized at that time that she wanted him. But she tried not to show it. She won't let any distraction come her way to fulfill her dream to help her mother. Howie will be a distraction.

"I need to reach Judson's class or else, I'm doomed for life." She replies as Howie kept up the pace with her.

"Judson?" Howie chuckled. "Okay. Don't worry." With that, he turned away to go somewhere. Samantha ignored him and continued on her way. When she reached the classroom, the professor isn't there yet. She found her seat at the back and began preparing for her practical exam. It was until ten minutes later when she checked her watch and the professor is still not there. Other latecomers successfully made it in the classroom too.

"Where's Prof. Judson?" she asked her seatmate, a woman named Gina.

"I don't know. He's supposed to be here. Damn, the suspense is killing me. I need to get this over with, you know." Gina smiled at her.

"Yeah, I understand the feeling." She shakes her head. They turned when the door opened and the anticipated professor came in.

"Sorry for being late. Some pesky guy was in dire need of attention and I sent him to the discipline office first." Judson laughed. Samantha turned to the door, before the professor closes and locks it, and caught a glimpse of Howie standing outside and waving at her.

What does this guy wants from her?



~~~



Samantha went out of the classroom two hours later and saw Howie standing outside. Judson greeted him before the teacher went off down the corridor.

"How's the test?" Howie asked her.

"You distracted Judson?" Samantha shakes her head. "How creative. Thank you so much." Howie takes the materials from her hold and carried it with him. She lets him do it and together, they walked towards the school grounds.

"He's a friend of mine, my mentor when I was in my sophomore year here."

"You're a junior, right? What course are you taking up here?"

"Media Communications and Public Relations." Howie nodded in reply.

"That's too much, isn't it?"

Howie smiled and Samantha found it charming. He has this smile that she realized when she painted him nude that kind of hypnotizes her. "That's the only way to keep my father shut up." They looked at each other. "It's a long story and I don't want to indulge you more on about my family's unusual relationship. Sam? May I call you that?"

"Everyone calls me that."

"Well, I was thinking about inviting you for some decent dinner sometime. It gets pretty boring eating dorm food everyday. How about it?"

They stopped walking and faced each other. "Well, to return the big favor and to keep your mouth shut, yes. I'd like to go with you and venture the wonders of some food outside the confines of our dormitories." They laughed.

"Alright," Howie said as Samantha takes the books from him. "I'll pick you up later at seven. We'll go and have some food trip." He walks away. "It's a date."

"A date?" Samantha chuckled and watched him go. Howie takes a momentary glance and winks at her. She couldn't feel any lighter at that moment. This guy completes her day. She feels like floating as she walks off towards her next class.

Samantha and Howie often go out together after their first date but then, their relationship as a couple wasn't clear. Howie confuses her. He never kissed her for every chance they have after the dates they have. Sometimes, Howie wouldn't show up for days that she'd wonder what happened to him. She likes him, a lot, and it's frustrating that they can't go on being a couple when Howie kept pulling away whenever Samantha hinted a secure relationship, a commitment, between them.

"How are you?"

Samantha looked up and saw Leighanne and Brian. She envied the two. They were so in love with each other in a long time that it's been a blessing that they finally got together before they graduated high school more than a year ago. "I'm fine." She greeted her friends with a kiss on the cheeks. "Where's Kevin?"

"He will be late, said his brother took him to a meeting." Brian replied. "I won't stay long, too. I got an extra job in a construction firm." He's studying engineering and he already started working as an intern to use the skills he learned in college. He uses the money he earns to pay school expenses. "You're in deep thinking. Your boyfriend?" Brian asked with a smile. They saw her on a date with Howie thrice

"He's not my boyfriend. I don't even know if he'll ever be my boyfriend." Samantha sighed. "It's frustrating."

The two sat beside her. "He's stupid." Leighanne chuckled. When Samantha raised an eyebrow, she only ignored it. "What does he really want from you?"

"I don't know. He doesn't kiss me. He only holds my hand. I don't want to think that he's gay. He's so fun to be with when we're together but there are several times when he'd just disappear and won't tell me where he is. He's full of mystery. I don't know what my position is in his life. I like him a lot. I want to be his girlfriend." Samantha said as the two just listened. "When I'm with him, I'm happy. I felt contented with my life with just having him near him and it's sad knowing that I don't know my stand is in his life."

"You know, you don't have to waste your time with a man like that, Sam." Leighanne tells her. Samantha didn't say anything. Maybe she doesn't really have to waste her time on Howie but it will be hard to keep him out of her mind. She shakes her head.

"Maybe, but I couldn't help it but missed him."

"Who did you miss?"

Samantha's heart leaped in excitement upon hearing that voice. She quickly turns around and saw Howie. He's still the adorable guy she loves looking at. She stood up and went over to hug him. "You see, there's this guy that once offered me to paint him nude. He's crazy but I gave in because he's charming and he has a big..." Howie raised an eyebrow when Samantha hanged her next word. "...heart. Howie!"

Howie chuckled. And in front of Brian and Leighanne, he kissed her which surprised her. "Does my kiss enough to make you forget him?"

"I don't know. He actually never kissed me, until now."

"Really? How does he rate?"

"I don't know. Let me try it again." Samantha kissed Howie again. The other couple looked at each other, shaking their heads. These two were clearly in love with each other but there was as if some kind of a silent force that hinders them from telling each other their feelings.

"Uh, we'll just leave you alone," Brian cleared his throat to get their attention but failed. The two continued kissing. Brian decided to pull his girlfriend away leaving the oblivious two who are still kissing.

"They're gone." Howie whispered and chuckled.

"Huh? What?" Seemingly disoriented, Samantha turns around and found that her friends already left. "They're gone." Howie trailed her lips with his thumb.

"How about if we get official?"

"Official sounds good." Samantha nodded. Howie hugs her.

"I'll treat you to dinner tonight." He whispered to her ear before kissing her again.



~~~



Samantha tried not to bite her nails as she browsed through the materials in front of her. She and Howie may be officially going out together as a couple for months now but still, he's still a mystery for her. He still hasn't told her anything much about him except that he is originally from California where his parents live. Out of curiosity, she tried to know something about him through Judson, her professor.

And according to what she's found out, Howie had every right to be secretive about his life for he's no ordinary person. He's the youngest son of a famous film producer in Hollywood and heir to his mother's restaurant empire, just like Nick. Samantha felt intimidated upon knowing her boyfriend's social stature. She's far from his league.

The other thing that makes him busy and constantly absent for some time was that he, in his young age, already started his own business. He ventured into real estate in which, according to Judson, his father doesn't even know about. Howie's mother lent him a capital to start with his business until it became successful in its own way, without using Howie's family name to help him with it. Howie and his father have an unusual relationship of competing against each other and Howie always wanted to prove that he can stand on his own without his father's help.

There's another thing that she realized about Howie. Together with his wealth and stature, he always used his charismatic appeal to attract the opposite sex. It surprised Samantha to learn that Howie is a rich kid who plays around when he's in California. Young actresses and models were his previous pursuits. If he's that kind of person, what does he want from her, a small-town woman whose only life plan is to secure a good future for her mother and sisters? She's far from those women he dated. It confuses her now. Who is the real Howie?

Samantha glanced at her watch. Howie told her that they will meet at the gazebo where they usually hang out at three. She started keeping the files she gathered inside her messenger bag and opened her book. He'll be arriving any minute now and she doesn't want him to know that she investigated his background.

"Hi, baby."

She looked up and saw Howie. He sits down beside her and he gives her a box after he kissed her. "What's this?" She opened the small box and saw two beaded bracelets inside.

"I made it." There's a hint of pride in Howie's voice. "Two identical bracelets for both of us." He smiled. He takes one from the box and put it in her wrist. Samantha looked at him and bit her lower lip to keep the tears from falling. "Baby, you're getting sentimental again. You're such a crybaby." He grinned and kissed her. He started to put the bracelet on her wrist and she did the same to him.

"I'm just emotional. I never thought that I will fall to a man I only knew in just a short time." Samantha smiled to him.

"Me, too." Howie said and embraced her tighter. He's about to tell something when his mobile phone rang. He hesitated to answer it at first. He glanced to her and then excused himself and stood up. He walked away to talk with whoever it is on the other line. It was only for a while and then he went back to her. "I've got to go for now, baby. There's just an emergency."

"Any problem?"

Howie smiled and kissed her. "There's none, Sam. I love you. Don't ever forget that." And with that, Howie walked away. Samantha was left behind feeling confused on what's really going on with him.



~~~



Samantha woke up from the slight noise she heard inside the room. When she glanced at her roommate, nobody's in the opposite bed. Jill must have been still out and partying. Samantha sat up on the bed, adjusted her eyes from the darkness in the room and realized that someone broke inside. Before she can let out a scream, she realized that it's Howie. "Howie, what are you doing here?"

"I don't want to go before saying goodbye to you first." Howie sits on the edge of her bed.

"Why are you leaving? Where are you going?" Panic crossed her face at the thought of him leaving. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No." Howie closed the gap between them and kissed her. There's sadness in his voice. Samantha cupped his face in her hands. "My mother died this morning and I have to go back to California immediately. I don't know when I will be back. I don't know when I will have the free time to see you again." He hugged her. Samantha held him tighter when she heard his quiet weeping. "I love her very much. She's the only person who believed in me."

"Aside from me, of course." She added. Howie looked at her as she wipes his tears. "What? Is there something wrong with my face, baby?"

"No, there's none. I think you're prettier and sexier when you just woke up." Howie whispered. He bents down to kiss her again as his hands starting roaming all over her body. Samantha moaned as she let Howie love her. She can feel that her boyfriend loves her and she is with him, too, despite the mystery that he's still hiding from her. She'll confront him about it later. Right now, she needs all the security she can get from the warmth of his embrace, the passion in his kisses and the love in his eyes.