More Than That by Bobbi by old_archive
Summary:

Originally found on: Walking In The Clouds
Hosted on: BSBAttorneys

Summary: Jennifer Mitchell and Kevin Richardson have been the best of friends through thick and thin, through good times and bad. They always figured their friendship could withstand anything. When Jennifer falls for Nick Carter, they find out exactly how much it can take.  


Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Group, Kevin, Nick
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Sexual Content
Challenges:
Series: Archived Author: Bobbi
Chapters: 42 Completed: Yes Word count: 63247 Read: 65219 Published: 08/08/09 Updated: 08/08/09

1. Chapter 1 by old_archive

2. Chapter 2 by old_archive

3. Chapter 3 by old_archive

4. Chapter 4 by old_archive

5. Chapter 5 by old_archive

6. Chapter 6 by old_archive

7. Chapter 7 by old_archive

8. Chapter 8 by old_archive

9. Chapter 9 by old_archive

10. Chapter 10 by old_archive

11. Chapter 11 by old_archive

12. Chapter 12 by old_archive

13. Chapter 13 by old_archive

14. Chapter 14 by old_archive

15. Chapter 15 by old_archive

16. Chapter 16 by old_archive

17. Chapter 17 by old_archive

18. Chapter 18 by old_archive

19. Chapter 19 by old_archive

20. Chapter 20 by old_archive

21. Chapter 21 by old_archive

22. Chapter 22 by old_archive

23. Chapter 23 by old_archive

24. Chapter 24 by old_archive

25. Chapter 25 by old_archive

26. Chapter 26 by old_archive

27. Chapter 27 by old_archive

28. Chapter 28 by old_archive

29. Chapter 29 by old_archive

30. Chapter 30 by old_archive

31. Chapter 31 by old_archive

32. Chapter 32 by old_archive

33. Chapter 33 by old_archive

34. Chapter 34 by old_archive

35. Chapter 35 by old_archive

36. Chapter 36 by old_archive

37. Chapter 37 by old_archive

38. Chapter 38 by old_archive

39. Chapter 39 by old_archive

40. Chapter 40 by old_archive

41. Chapter 41 by old_archive

42. Chapter 42 by old_archive

Chapter 1 by old_archive
"Look at me, Jennifer," he commanded her, his hand lifting her face to his when she refused to comply.

"No, don't do this to me," Jennifer shook her head and squirmed away from him, tears filling her eyes. "Please, don't..."

"Listen to me..." he started singing softly, his voice growing stronger as the song continued.

I will love you more than that
I won't say those words, then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that

"I heard what he said to you, you deserve better, baby...you deserve me."

Jen gasped and turned to stare at him, unable to believe what he had just said. "You don't mean that..."

He smiled lightly and continued singing.

Baby you deserve much better
What's the use in holding on
Don't you see it's now or never
Just why you can't be friends
Baby knowing in the end

Oh I will love you more than that...*

"We had a chance once and didn't even know it...please, Jenny Lynn, let me try again?"

"Oh god, I don't know..."

Lyrics from More Than That by Franciz & LePoint/Adam Anders ©2000
Chapter 2 by old_archive
"Kevin!" Jennifer dove into her best friend's arms when he opened the door, the two months they had just been apart feeling like forever. "You've lost weight," she shook her head fretfully as she ran her hands over his back before pushing him away, looking him over critically. "And you need a haircut, and why are your eyes all bloodshot? Where's Kristen, we gotta have a talk..." she peeked past him into the house with a smirk.

"I've missed you too, Jen," Kevin laughed and pushed her into the living room. "Sit, Kristen's not here, you can tell her how badly she's treating me later."

"How is married life treating you?" Jennifer asked, flipping her blond hair out of her face with an absentminded flourish. "Where is she?"

"In LA, working," Kevin sat down on the couch and gestured for her to do the same. "She'll be back next week."

"Cool, we'll talk then," Jennifer smiled. She'd always gotten along with Kevin's first girlfriend, then fiancée, now wife, and was glad to see the two of them happy together.

"You'll still be around?" Kevin asked, watching her plop down onto the couch next to him with a soft thud. "Still as graceful as a swan," he cracked when she sprawled out, her feet ending up in his lap.

"Shut up," Jennifer stretched out on the couch and laughed, kicking Kevin in the process. It was a long standing joke with the two of them...Jennifer was a klutz, and was always knocking into something or another somewhere. But she also was a dancer, which made for an interesting combination. "I'm auditioning for a new tour tomorrow, but it doesn't start for a month or two," she said nonchalantly.

"Oh?" Kevin adjusted Jen's feet in his lap until she wasn't hurting him quite so much before looking at her with a curious grin. "You're done with NSYNC, then?" He had been less than thrilled when his best friend had up and joined NSYNC's tour as a backup dancer, and the two years she'd spent with them had been far too long, in his opinion.

Jen nodded. "Their tour's over, and it doesn't look they're going to use dancers on their next one, whenever that will be."

"So, who are you auditioning for tomorrow?"

Jennifer grinned, her blue eyes glistening wickedly. "Oh, nobody..." She was amazed Kevin hadn't figured it out yet, after all, he was her best friend. She was a dancer. Why wouldn't she audition for his tour? Touring with her best friend would be a blast, she was sure of it. She'd always wanted to, but had figured that she needed the proper credentials before auditioning, so there would be no question of favoritism. After two years on tour with NSYNC added to the rest of her resume (mostly comprised of shows in and around Orlando, she'd followed right in Kevin's footsteps, joining the Disney crew) , nobody could be more qualified to dance with the Backstreet Boys than her.

Kevin's eyes narrowed as he grew suspicious. "Jen...I know that smile..."

"You'll find out soon enough," Jennifer shrugged. She had no doubt she would make the cut. She was a damn good dancer, and had worked hard to get to where she was. The Backstreet Boys needed three new dancers, surely she would be chosen as one.

"When does this tour you're auditioning for start?"

"Two months, I think?"

Kevin shook his head slowly, "Oh no, Jen, you're not..."

Jennifer laughed, "Surprise, Ritchie. Come on, won't touring with me be fun?"

"It's not me I'm worried about, Jenny Lynn," Kevin used her middle name as an insult, knowing she hated how 'Kentucky hick' it sounded to her ears. "You know they're all single now. You're single."

"I'm not the slightest bit interested in Brian, I assure you, Kev..." Jennifer laughed. She'd known Brian as long as she'd known Kevin, and saw him as a brother. "And what are you talking about, they're single? Nick and AJ?"

Kevin rolled his eyes. "It's not BRIAN I'm worried about." AJ, Howie, Nick...each of them had hit on Jen at one point or another over the last eight years. She was absolutely beautiful, and was always around, a handy target for some misdirected sexual energy. They'd all excused it as a drunken mistake (although he knew for a fact that Howie had been sober at the time, and suspected the same of Nick), and Jen had gently rebuffed them all, but the last thing he wanted was one of his Backstreet brothers sleeping with his best friend. "And yeah, they're single. Nick, AJ and Howie."

"I'm not interested in anyone at the moment, anyway," Jennifer reassured Kevin with a soft sigh. "Men are assholes."

"Oh? NSYNC turn you off of men?" Kevin asked her with a smirk.

"Very funny," she made a face, "you know I wouldn't have touched any of them with a ten foot pole."

"You're not still hung up on geeky boy, are you?"

Jennifer bit her lip and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "We only broke up two months ago, it's taking a while, ok?" They'd broken up the night before she'd left for the last leg of the tour, in fact. Paul had been the love of her life, so she'd thought....they'd met in a bookstore, of all places. Paul was a programmer, and designed computer games for a living. His life was his computer, and ultimately, that was what tore the two of them apart. Paul was happier spending time at home in front of his computer staring at binary than taking the time to see her.

"He was an idiot," Kevin shrugged. He'd never understood Paul...how a guy so vain, so concerned with his body that he would work out for three hours a day, everyday, could then turn around and spend every other moment he was awake sedentary in front of a computer, ignoring a woman like Jennifer. Paul could work from anywhere, all he ever needed was a computer. But when Jen had asked him to tour with her, he'd said no, that he wanted to work from home. And that had been that.

"That's men." Jennifer laughed, "you included."

"I haven't been called an idiot by Kristen in a while, I'll have you know," Kevin protested, tickling her for emphasis.

"She just hasn't known you long enough," Jen giggled, smacking at Kevin's hands. "She'll learn."

"She's known me for years and years." Kevin replied, grabbing Jen's hands and holding them down. "Stop, you're making it worse."

"I've known you longer, and I say you're an idiot." Jen told him, squirming in his grasp. "Now let me go, I need to go home, I have an audition tomorrow, remember?"

"You just got here," Kevin held her hands tight, laughing at her angry expression. "And I really don't think you auditioning for our tour is a good idea..."

"I don't care what you think, and I should go anyway. I'll see you tomorrow, after I make your tour, ok?" Jennifer summoned all of her strength and yanked her hands out of Kevin's, squealing when the force sent her flying onto the floor. "Ow."

"Klutz."

"See you tomorrow, Richie."

"Yeah, night, Jen."



Jennifer smiled knowingly when her number was called, along with that of two other girls, and they were escorted into an office and sat down.

"Congratulations, Jennifer, Alison and Melissa," Fatima sat down across from them at a desk, handing each of them a folder with packets of paper inside. "Here are your contracts, and schedules for the next few months. I suggest you all look them over now, any conflicts I will need to know about immediately."

Jen beamed as the two girls beside her squealed, both of them clearly getting their first tour job. She remembered how excited she was the first time she made a tour, it was a whole other world than performing in Orlando...definitely much better. "When do we start?"

"Rehearsals will start in two days," Fatima told Jen with a smile. "Kevin know you're doing this?"

The two girls next to Jen turned to stare at her in surprise, Melissa finally asking the thousand dollar question. "You know Kevin?"

Jennifer snickered and nodded, "Yeah, he knows, although he's not all that happy with it."

"You're more than qualified, Jen, but he's got a point, you know these guys, you sure you want to tour with them?" Fatima asked her softly, ignoring the reaction of Alison and Melissa.

Jennifer laughed, "Are you forgetting what tour I just finished? This will be a piece of cake. I love these guys." She turned to Alison and Melissa and waved her hands reassuredly, "you will love them as well, Fatima's just being silly, I think she's known me for too long."

"Since you were a little bitty thing, yes," Fatima nodded.

"I was never a little bitty thing," Jennifer challenged, shaking her head. She was 5'10 now, extremely tall for a dancer, but she more than made up for it in talent and flexibility. "And I was, what, 16 when we met, I can't be much taller now than I was then."

"You've grown up a lot in the last few years, Jen, I'm not talking height." Fatima laughed, and waved to the folders the women were holding. "Now look, read, I need to know problems now."

Jennifer opened the folder in her lap, grinning from ear to ear when she saw "BACKSTREET BOYS 2000 WORLD TOUR" across the top. Touring the world with her best friend. What could be better than this?
Chapter 3 by old_archive
Jen drove home listening to the new Backstreet Boys CD, wondering what the dances she'd be doing would be like. If the audition material had been any example...they would be exhausting, but a ton of fun to do, a great deal more creative than the typical background stuff that she'd done on the NSYNC tour. She parked outside her apartment building and headed in, letting herself into her small apartment with a soft sigh. So she'd be here for two more months, then taking off again, huh.

She stepped into the shower and rinsed the signs of the audition from her body, the steam soothing her tired muscles. Once she'd fully fogged up the bathroom, she padded into the bedroom naked, dripping water everywhere, before finding a towel and wiping herself off. After pulling on an oversized blue UK sweatshirt and a pair of shorts, she threw the towel into the bathroom, making a mental note to herself to buy a robe before the tour started.

The downstairs buzzer sounded, and she rolled her eyes when she heard Kevin's voice calling to her to let him in. "Fine..." why was she not surprised he came over. "What's up?" She opened the door to find him bounding up the stairs, a frown on his face.

"You really did it. You're really on our tour." Kevin stomped into her apartment and slammed the door behind him, glaring at her.

Jennifer sighed and turned her back on him, walking calmly to the couch and sitting down. Kevin was having a temper tantrum again...he seemed to have them a lot where Backstreet was concerned. "I told you I was going to audition."

"I told you I didn't think it was a good idea!"

"And I told you I didn't care!" Jen shouted back, throwing a pillow at him. "This is the best paying dancing job I've had yet, and I get to tour the world with my best friend. Why wouldn't I want this? Because you're afraid I'm going to sleep with your bandmates? Come on, Kev, I haven't done it for 8 years, why the hell would I start now."

"You've never toured with us before," Kevin argued.

"I've been on tour with you before, Kevin, for a month at a time, even," Jennifer reminded him. Her summers in college had been spent on tour with Backstreet, helping Denise McLean with secretarial work during the day, hanging out and partying with Kevin at night.

"That was different, we were younger, it was only for a month, and you weren't working with the guys, you were working with AJ's mom."

"I'm not going to sleep with AJ." Jen sighed. "Ok?"

Kevin sat down next to Jen on the couch, pulling her into a hug. "You're my best friend, I just don't want to see any of our rules broken."

Jennifer laughed and smacked Kevin's forehead lightly. "I'm not interested in any of your friends. And you keep your hands off of Martha..." Martha was Jen's childhood dance teacher, now 70 years old and retired, she was one of her closest friends.

"That's sick," Kevin rolled his eyes. "I'm serious though, hands off, Jenny Lynn."

"Don't worry, Richie, nothing's gonna happen."



"Jen!" AJ grabbed her in a hug the moment she was through the door, spinning her around in a circle. "Don't tell me you're the new dancer Jennifer?"

"The one and only!" Jennifer replied with a laugh when she saw Kevin scowling across the room. "Backstreet tour's the best gig in town, I figured it was about time I found out why."

"Kevin didn't tell me!" Brian glared at his cousin before grinning at Jen. " Very cool."

"Kevin's not too happy with the idea," Jennifer told Brian in a mock whisper, giggling when Nick attacked her from behind, pulling her into a hug. "Hey Carter."

"So you're the new dancer?" Nick asked her as he spun her around in his arms, his blue eyes twinkling.

"That's me," Jen grabbed onto Nick's shirt to stop him from spinning her again, laughing as stars spun in her head. "Ballroom dancing's not your thing, Nicky."

"How's Paul?" Nick asked, one hand resting comfortably on Jen's back while she regained her balance. He loved Jen's boyfriend, as he'd worked on a few games that were favorites of Nick's. The two men would spend hours talking and playing games with each other while Jen and Kevin were off catching up.

"I have no idea," Jennifer shrugged. "Don't much care either."

"Oh," Nick's eyes widened, and he looked at Kevin apologetically. Nobody told them they'd broken up... "well, cool that you're touring with us."

"Very cool!" Howie agreed, walking into the room. "Kevin didn't tell us we knew one of the new dancers."

"No, that would be entirely too helpful of Kevin," Jennifer laughed, hugging Howie.

"See, you're on the tour for all of ten minutes, and already you're turning my group against me," Kevin grumbled as he joined them, whacking Nick on the head as punishment for asking about Paul.

"You don't make it too tough, Kev," Jennifer giggled, rubbing Nick's head sympathetically. "Attacking your brothers like that, what kind of a guy are you."

"Yeah!" Nick laughed, leaning his head down into Jen's hand. "Lower..."

"HEY!" Kevin smacked Jen's hand off of Nick's head, glaring at her. "What did I tell you..."

"You're paranoid, Kevin," Jennifer told him, looking up happily as Fatima walked into the room, stopping him from telling her how wrong he surely felt she was.

The rehearsal then began in earnest, with each of the five female dancers learning a quick routine. Fatima then paired them up with the five Backstreet Boys, watching carefully to see who would be dancing with whom for the duration of the tour. She adjusted the couples for hours, laughing when Kevin protested as she pulled Jennifer away from him, pairing her with Nick.

"Sorry Kev," Jennifer laughed, grabbing Nick's hand and swinging it for Kevin to see. "Don't we look cute together?"

"Shut up," Kevin grumbled, looking at his new partner, Carly. She'd danced with Nick the entire last tour...why did she suddenly have to be with him? "You sure I shouldn't be with Jen?"

"Positive," Fatima told him firmly. "Now let me see you dance!"



The long month of rehearsals for the tour flew by, and before Jennifer knew it, she was staring at boxes in her apartment, her suitcases packed, ready to leave. The month had been tiring, and painful, dancing with the Backstreet Boys was proving to be more difficult than anything she'd ever done before, the energy level of the routines above and beyond what she had been accustomed to. But she was also having a wonderful time, Kevin seemed to be getting used to her being around, and dancing with the rest of the guys was, as she'd known it would be, a blast.

"Car's waiting," Carly shouted from outside, pounding on the door.

"Ok," Jennifer opened the door and waved Carly in, gathering her bags. The two women had become fast friends over the last month, the first time Kevin had snapped at Carly in rehearsal Jen had been a more than willing shoulder for her to cry on. And it would be nice to have a girlfriend on the tour, especially one who had toured with the guys before and knew the ropes. "You'd think we could leave at a normal hour."

"We'll stop for coffee on the way," Carly picked up a bag and held the door open for her. "It's easier leaving at the butt crack of dawn like this, otherwise the fans show up."

"Aah," Jennifer followed Carly out the door and stowed her bags in the car, sliding in next to her. "Yeah, the fans I dealt with on the last tour."

"So what's the deal with you and Kevin?" Carly asked as the driver started the car and headed towards the airport. "I remember you from last tour, you were with us for a week or so, right?"

"Yeah, I couldn't come for long, I was still with NSYNC then," Jennifer explained. "Kev and I have been friends since we were kids, he's my best friend in the world."

"He's a little overprotective of you, isn't he," Carly remarked, along with the rest of the dancers and the group, they'd gotten a kick out of watching Jen infuriate Kevin by flirting with Nick during rehearsals.

"Just a wee bit," Jen laughed. "My last boyfriend was a jerk, he doesn't want to see me getting hurt again. He thinks dating a friend of his would be doomed from the start, and for some reason, thinks I'm incapable of keeping myself away from his oh so irresistible friends."

"Kevin's quite a character."

"Oh yeah, quite the character." Jennifer snickered. If she ever wanted to get Kevin mad, at least she knew how to do it. Pick a Backstreet Boy, any Backstreet Boy... "What about you? You interested in any of the guys? As Kevin keeps pointing out to me, they're all single..."

Carly smiled before shrugging nonchalantly, "I've had the hots for a certain Boy since I joined the tour a year ago, but he's never noticed me. I'm just a dancer to him..."

"Which boy?" Jen asked, curious. She knew what the 'just a dancer' thing meant though, she'd been 'just a dancer' to NSYNC.

"AJ," Carly couldn't stop a small grin from creeping across her face. "He's just so much fun to talk to, and he's so sexy, and my god, Jennifer, the way that man moves his hips..." she clasped her hands over her heart dramatically. "Dancing with him every night kills me...the shit he does in rehearsal to us, the hip stuff? He does it a thousand times worse on stage, you'll see."

Jennifer laughed and waggled her eyebrows at Carly. "So...AJ's single now...he never has been before, that's why he never noticed you. Maybe this tour you'll get your chance."

"I'm just a dancer, Jen, you know how that goes," Carly shook her head. "I'm glad you're on the tour though, it'll be cool having you around!"

"I'm glad I'm on the tour too," Jennifer replied, hugging Carly tight. She jumped out of the car when they arrived at the airport, eager to start her journey. "Look out world...here we come!!"



"Hey," Jennifer pushed open the door to Kevin's room and peeked inside, laughing when she found him flat on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "See something good?" She lay down next to him and looked up, poking him curiously when he didn't comment. "What? Kevin...."

"I'm tired," he grumbled, rolling over onto his side and closing his eyes.

"You're not tired, you're cranky," Jennifer argued, rubbing Kevin's back until he turned over to glare at her. "I know you too well for that."

"I miss my wife, ok?" Kevin's green eyes brightened noticeably as he told her what had him so upset. "We couldn't be together for the last month because of the rehearsals, and now that she's back in Florida, we're touring...it sucks."

"Aww, Kev, I'm sorry," Jennifer wrapped her arms around his chest and snuggled close to him, hugging him tight. "You're right, that sucks."

Kevin smiled at the comforting feel of Jen's arms around him and shifted, slipping one of his legs between hers, their bodies moving closer together on the bed. Ok, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad having his best friend on tour with him...at least he didn't have to sleep alone. "Stay here tonight?"

"I dunno, Kev, Carly's already been asking me about you...I don't want the dancers to think I get special treatment or anything," Jennifer said reluctantly, squirming when she felt Kevin's arms tighten around her. "Not that I don't want to stay here."

"You're going to get special treatment, just accept that," Kevin shrugged, "you're not going to use the dancer's tour bus, are you?"

"I was planning on it..." Jennifer replied.

"Don't be silly, you're coming on the bus with the guys and me. You should be with your friends," Kevin told her. He'd already run it by the rest of the group, and they had no problem with it at all....Kevin had always been a father to the group, and Jen had been their mom. Having her on the bus would be great.

"I guess..." she said hesitantly. She wanted to get along with the dancers, and that would be difficult if they saw her too close to the guys. "I thought you wanted to keep me away from the guys?"

"That would be impossible, wouldn't it?" Kevin shrugged, "I'll kill you if you touch them, and they know I'll kill them if they touch you. So that's that."

"You did not tell them to stay away from me!" Jennifer sat up in bed and glared at Kevin, eyes blazing.

"Yeah, so?" Kevin hiked himself up on his elbows and looked at her, eyebrows knotted. "What's the big deal?"

"Jesus, Kevin!" Jen stood up and shook her head, pushing her hair back from her face. "I've known all of these guys as long as you have, remember? Not to mention, I'm older than all of them, and now working with them..."

"I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't have to fight them off or anything," Kevin shrugged.

"Because they're just going to be throwing themselves at me...why?" Jen sighed. She loved her best friend dearly, she really did, but he did things like this far too often, taking it upon himself to make things 'easier on her.' "I'm going to go to bed, I'll see you in the morning."

"Come back to bed here," Kevin argued, reaching out for her hand.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Jen snickered. "After all, I don't want to have to fight you off, or anything..."

"Jennifer Lynn Mitchell..."

"Kevin Smartass Richardson, I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Jen..."

"You argue with me one more time and I'm going to bed with Howie," Jen snapped at him before leaving the room, slamming the door behind her with a bang. She could hear his shout in protest as she walked back to her room, laughing all the way.
Chapter 4 by old_archive
Jennifer was very pleased to get through her first Backstreet Boys concert without any major mistakes. She tripped over Nick's foot once, and almost fell off the stage another time (which she had chosen to blame on Kevin, although he was nowhere near her at the time), but all in all, not bad. She slung her bag over her shoulder and tentatively walked towards the tour bus, still unsure of her decision to join the guys' on theirs instead of riding with the rest of the dancers.

"You coming?" AJ ran up to her from behind, giving her a push towards the bus. "We're holding everyone up, I think..."

"You sure you're ok with me riding on your bus?" Jennifer asked him, still walking slowly.

"Yes, just move," AJ told her impatiently, waving towards the bus, which was now honking at them.

"Ok," Jen shrugged and ran towards the bus with AJ, jumping onto it just as it pulled away.

"You'd think you two were out for a casual stroll," Brian remarked, laughing as AJ flung himself into a seat, out of breath from the brief sprint.

"Jen wanted to take her time," AJ grumbled, pointing at her. "She wants to get us killed, I think."

"What?" Jennifer asked innocently, looking at the expressions on the faces around her. "What are you talking about?"

Kevin grabbed Jen's hand and pulled her towards the window, pointing outside. "They were running after Alex, Jenny," he gestured to the swarm of girls gathered around the bus, preventing it from moving at any faster than a snail's pace.

"Oops," Jennifer sat down and looked at AJ apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't see them."

"Forget it," AJ shrugged, before standing up with a groan. "I'm going to bed, goodnight all."

"Night AJ," Kevin called after him. "Jen, you want to pick out a bunk? We have a few extra."

"Sure," Jennifer stood up and followed Kevin to the bunks, choosing the one that Nick told her to take, for reasons beyond her. "Thanks for letting me stay here," she told them all, looking around with a grin. Their bus was a thousand times better than the dancer's bus, that was for sure.

"You're like family to Kevin and Brian, which makes you family to us. Our family always rides on the bus with us," Howie said with a smile. "So there you have it."

Jen smiled as Kevin pulled her into a hug, snuggling into his embrace. "Yeah, nobody other than family would put up with this guy for as long as I have..."

"You love me, admit it," Kevin tried to tickle her, but ended up shouting when she squirmed out of his arms, running through the bus.

"Help!" Jen giggled, ducking behind Brian in the front of the bus. "Your cousin's on a rampage."

"Save yourself," Brian laughed and pushed Jennifer in front of him. "Blood's gotta stick together."

"Oh, thanks Brian," Jen glared at him as she felt Kevin grab her arm, spinning her around. "Ow..." She yanked herself out of his grasp and lost her balance, falling onto Nick sitting on the couch behind her with a thud. "Hey, Nicky," she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning back on his lap.

"Well, hello Jennifer," Nick laughed, his arms going around her back to hold her in place on his lap. He'd been watching Kevin chase her around the bus with some amusement, and her ending up on his lap was quite alright with him. "I won't let Kevin hurt you, don't worry."

"My hero," Jen cooed, snuggling into Nick's chest. She heard Kevin snort loudly behind her and turned around to stare at him. "See, you drove me into Nick's arms. Literally."

"Very funny," Kevin narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm going to sleep. Get off of his lap."

"No," Jen replied with a smirk, wiggling her hips on Nick's lap, more to piss off Kevin than for any other reason, although the expression on Nick's face was pretty priceless as well. "Nicky likes me on his lap just fine, I think..."

"Yeah, he does..." Nick answered with a wide grin. Of course he liked having a beautiful woman on his lap, even if he couldn't touch her. Nothing wrong with flirting. "Can I keep her, Kev?"

"HANDS OFF," Kevin growled, before stomping off to the back of the bus, climbing into his bunk without another word.

"Oh, that was fun," Jennifer hugged Nick tight and smiled, "thanks." She moved to get off of his lap, giving him a curious look when his arms tightened around her. "What?"

"I like you on my lap." Nick told her, looking steadily into her eyes.

"I think Nick's being a flirt," Brian explained for Jen, walking past them shaking his head. "I'm going to sleep. Night."

"Flirting's only fun when Kevin's around to get pissed off," Jennifer told Nick, jumping off of his lap with a grin when his arms released her. "I'm going to head to bed as well, night."

"Night, Jen," Nick replied, watching her walk to the back of the bus with a frown. She didn't even like flirting with him? Well, he was just going to have to change that now, wasn't he. Even if he couldn't touch...nothing wrong with showing her how much fun flirting could be...right?



"I want no part of this discussion," Jennifer groaned. She'd walked in on the other dancers having a discussion over which one of the Backstreet Boys was best endowed, something she had no desire to know.

"Oh come on, you share a bus with them, surely you've seen something," Melissa chided Jennifer. "Spill!"

"Nothing, I swear," Jen shrugged, changing into her outfit for the night's performance. The first week of the tour had been uneventful, and she'd gotten used to sharing a bus with the guys in no time.

"Never even seen Kevin or Brian? You've known them since you were kids, right? Ever had a bath together?" Carly giggled as she checked her makeup in the mirror. "I bet you have..."

"A bath together when I was four years old doesn't count for shit," Jennifer rolled her eyes at her friend. "It's not like I would have been looking."

"Never?" Carly challenged.

"Ok, I married Kevin when I was six years old, but Brian wanted to play minister," Jennifer laughed as Carly groaned. "He did!! It was his favorite thing to do..."

"That's sick...see you guys out there," Melissa left the room laughing, followed quickly by a giggling Alison.

"Why does that not surprise me?" Carly said to Jen once the two women were alone.

"I think I even had a ring, although it was an earthworm," Jennifer reminisced with a smirk. "Big scandal, I bet, Kevin Richardson's first wife exposed."

"Very funny," Carly shook her head. "So no good dirt, huh."

"If I had any, what kind of a friend would I be to them if I shared it?" Jennifer replied with a shrug. "I wouldn't tell Kevin your secrets anymore than I'd tell you his."

"Point taken," Carly nodded. "So how's AJ doing?"

Jennifer laughed and stood up, running a brush through her hair before pulling it up into a high ponytail. "He's fine...I think he wants to go clubbing this weekend."

"Am I invited?" Carly asked, a grin on her face.

"Would I be telling you about it if you weren't?" Jennifer peered at herself in the mirror and grimaced. "I'm hopeless."

"You're gorgeous, shut the fuck up," Carly yanked on Jen's ponytail with a laugh. "And so am I. Now let's go shake those beautiful booty's of ours."

Jennifer yelled at Carly to stop as she was dragged out of the door by her ponytail, walking smack into Howie, sending both of them sprawling to the floor. "Sorry, D, I couldn't see where I was going..."

"That's ok," Howie pushed himself up off the ground with a smile, offering a hand to help Jen up. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Jen shot a glare at Carly, who was trying hard not to laugh. "No thanks to Carly."

"Kiss my beautiful booty, baby," Carly smirked, smacking said beautiful booty for emphasis.

"I'm so sorry, but you're not my type in the slightest, Carly," Jennifer lamented, her hand on her forehead.

"So what is your type?" Nick came up on them in the hallway, laughing when he saw Jen's dramatics.

"A penis would be a good start," Jen stated matter-of-factly, grinning when Howie burst into laughter, shocked by her bluntness.

"Strap on?" Carly offered, stepping closer to Jen with a smirk.

"It's not the same," Jen turned her head away with overdone sadness, noting Nick's eyes light up as Carly stepped closer to her. So Nicky had a thing for Carly?

"I could try..." Carly embraced Jen in a tight hug, laughing when she saw Nick's mouth drop open. "Or maybe not," she let Jen go and turned to Howie, grabbing his rear in a pinch before he could move out of her way. "Definitely not, I like that..."

"Excuse me," Howie jumped away from her before she could pinch him again. "I think I have a show to warm up for.." he ran off down the hallway with a laugh, shaking his head over the women's antics.

"Yeah, me too," Nick agreed and followed Howie, needing some time before the show to recover from what he'd just seen. Damn that Jen...

"Now that was fun," Carly told Jen with a laugh, shaking her beautiful booty one final time. "Howie's awful cute when he's embarrassed."

"You're nuts," Jen replied. "Let's go, we have a show to warm up for too, you know."

"Yeah, let's go."
Chapter 5 by old_archive
AJ was pacing back and forth across the small tour bus, driving everyone nuts. "Will we just hurry up and get there?" Their first day off in over a week, and they were stuck spending it on the bus. If they ever got to their destination, AJ had intended to take them all out to a club, but at the rate they were going, they were going to get there far too late.

"Relax, Alex, you're not going to get us there any faster by pacing," Kevin told him from his spot on the couch where he was snuggled up with Jen in his lap, watching AJ walk back and forth.

"Maybe he can, like a hamster wheel?" Jen offered, giggling when AJ glared at her. "No?"

"I'm not a hamster." AJ rolled his eyes and sat down next to Kevin with a plop, pulling Jen's legs onto his lap. "Share."

Jen laughed and stretched out on Kevin's lap, gladly accommodating AJ. "Sure." She'd known before the tour how snuggle happy Kevin was, but discovering that about the rest of the group was quite a fun experience. She'd woken up on more than one occasion to find that she'd fallen asleep curled up on another one of the guys, something they didn't seem to mind one bit. "So, assuming we do actually get to this place on time, what kind of clothes do we need to wear?"

"Club clothes," AJ shrugged. "The less the better."

Jennifer laughed as Kevin opened his mouth to protest, quickly covering it with her hand. "I have to dress skimpy enough at your shows every night, thanks."

"I like your costumes," Nick offered from the other side of the bus, laughing when Kevin grabbed Jen's hand, wrestling it away from his face.

"Maybe a g string, then..." Jen mused, watching as Kevin's face turned bright red.

"I bet you do, Nick," Kevin glared at him before turning his gaze to Jen. "You're just teasing me now."

"Yes," Jen squealed when AJ tickled her bare feet on his lap, jerking around in Kevin's lap until her feet were out of AJ's grasp.

"So she's ticklish..." AJ's eyes lit up, and he looked at Kevin conspiratorially. "Hold her down."

Kevin hesitated, but when Jen screamed for help he was unable to resist, and grabbed her arms, maneuvering around on the couch until she was flat on her back. "Go for it," he told AJ with a grin.

"HELP!" Jennifer hollered, kicking at AJ's hands trying to grab her ankles. She felt his fingers tickle the sensitive skin of the arch of her foot and cursed at Kevin as she started laughing uncontrollably, tears quickly forming in her eyes. "Let me go you fuck!" She struggled against Kevin's grasp, her shirt riding up as she writhed on the couch.

"No way," Kevin leaned over her, still holding her hands tight, using his body to keep her still on the couch. He looked over at AJ, who was grinning from ear to ear as he continued to tickle Jen's feet. "AJ's enjoying this too."

"AJ's an asshole too," Jen wiggled around and looked at Nick across the bus helplessly. "Nicky, please...save me..."

Nick started laughing when Kevin shot a death glare at him in response, "oh, I don't think I should..."

"Ow," Jen protested when she felt AJ yank on her leg, pulling her further down on the couch. "What are you doing?"

"You're ticklish other places then your feet, right?" AJ said suggestively, his hands running up her legs and over the back of her knees, sending a shiver through her body.

"NICK!" Jennifer screamed, pushing against Kevin as she felt AJ's hands reach her hips. Really, only Kevin would have a problem with her flirting with his bandmates, and then HOLD HER DOWN so one of them could run their hands all over her.

"Nick, stay where you are," Kevin replied calmly, enjoying watching Jen's face flush as she struggled against him.

"Nicky...I'll do anything if you get Kevin off of me...." Jen cooed, turning to bat her eyes at him. "Anything...."

"She lies, Nick," Kevin warned, letting one of Jen's hands go so he could turn her face away from Nick.

"Never," Her hand finally free, Jen reached up and smacked Kevin's rear, pushing him off of her with a shout when he jumped. "GET OFF!" Kevin and AJ both ended up on the floor of the bus. She stood up and pulled her shirt back down, shaking her head at the two men on the floor. "You guys really are pathetic, you know that?"

"We're pathetic? Nick's the one who just blew the chance for anything..." AJ snickered, his eyes widening when he thought over his choice of words. "Literally..."

Jen rolled her eyes and walked away from them, "I'll see you guys when we get there, I'm going to go take a nap."

"Jen, wait," Kevin called to her from the floor, but she just waved him off and continued walking.

"Night Richie."



Carly and Jennifer were both in their separate beds under covers, watching Letterman, when a loud banging on the door interrupted their giggles over Drew Barrymore's latest antics.

"That's gotta be for you," Carly told Jen, laughing when she heard Kevin yell her name. "See?"

"He's going to wake up the entire hotel," Jen grumbled, getting out of the warm bed and padding over to the door, opening it with a frown. "Didn't I just spend an entire day on a bus with you? Do I really need to see you anymore?"

"I want to talk," Kevin told her firmly, grabbing her hand and pulling her out into the hall. "Tell Carly you'll see her later."

"Wait, let me get my key," Jen glared at Kevin before walking back into the room and grabbing her key off of the dresser. "He wants to talk," she told Carly sarcastically. She hadn't talked to Kevin since the incident on the bus with AJ, she was still a little mad over the way he'd held her down for him.

"I won't wait up," Carly laughed and waved to her friend. Rooming with Kevin's best friend certainly had its advantages, one big one being that she would get the room to herself more often than not.

"This won't take long," Jen replied, closing the door behind her and following Kevin down the hall to his room. Once inside, she sat down on the couch, pulling her legs up into her nightshirt to keep herself warm ."What."

"On the bus, today..." Kevin started slowly, looking at her to see if she'd cut in.

"Yes?"

"You really shouldn't have said that to Nick."

Jen's mouth dropped open, and she stared at Kevin in her surprise. She'd been expecting an apology... "what?"

"You'd do anything? He's a 21 year old guy, Jen, you know how he's gonna take that." Kevin replied evenly. "You don't want to lead him on, right?"

"You're fucking kidding me..." she hissed, her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. "You hold me down so AJ can practically molest me, and then you tell ME I was leading Nick on? Are you insane?"

"AJ was just tickling you."

"AJ had his hands all OVER me!" Jen stood up and shouted at Kevin, her arms flailing around her as she got more and more angry. Their fights were always spectacular, as anyone who had ever witnessed one would happily recount, the stories were legendary. "You were looking at me, you didn't see what he was doing!"

"Please, AJ wouldn't do that," Kevin argued, a smirk crossing his face at Jen's dramatics. "You're overreacting."

"I'M overreacting?!" Jennifer's voice was practically a squeal as her hands closed into fists. "Kevin, I swear to fucking god, I love you, but sometimes you are such an asshole."

"What?"

"I am not interested in Nick, AJ, or Howie, do you understand that? That means that I don't want their hands all over me, and I certainly don't want my best friend holding me down letting that happen to me!"

"Then why did you say that to Nick?" Kevin asked with a shrug.

Jen smacked her head and turned to leave, "this is pointless, you just don't get it."

"You're leading him on!"

"You held me down!" Jen shouted back at him. "Goodnight Kevin," she spat out, slamming the door behind her. Goddamn him...she stomped back down the hall, and stopped outside her room, looking underneath and noting the light was off. Carly had gone to sleep. And dammit, she was fully awake now, miles away from that happy sleepy state she'd been in before Kevin came along. What she needed was a good, strong, drink...or three.... She looked over her clothes and groaned, no way could she go anywhere, while her cow nightshirt may be a great bedroom fashion statement, it certainly didn't belong in hotel lobbies full of Backstreet Boys fans.

She padded down the hallway, smiling when she spotted a balcony at one end, looking out over the city. "Now this works," she stepped outside and sat down, staring up at the night sky. She'd just sit until she calmed down a little, wasn't so willing to kill Kevin, and then she'd go to bed.

"I thought I heard someone in the hall," Nick peeked his head outside, his eyes lighting up when he saw Jen sitting on the balcony. She looked adorable, wearing nothing but a big black t-shirt with a cow smack on the front of it, her hair a loose mess of shining curls around her. "What are you doing out here?"

Jen looked at Nick steadily, a crazy idea forming in her head. But Goddammit, Kevin made her SO mad...and this was one sure way to piss him off. "Hey Nick...tell me...does your room have a mini bar?"
Chapter 6 by old_archive
"He didn't," Jen exclaimed, more drinks later than she could possibly count. She was flat on her back on Nick's bed, and they'd been trading shots as they told stories about the awful things Kevin had done to them in the past. She was amazed the two of them had never talked like this before...they had so much in common, at least where Kevin was concerned.

"Of course he did, only Kevin would think he could make my life easier by rearranging everything without telling me," Nick laughed, snuggling closer to Jen on the bed, running a finger slowly down the side of her face.

Jennifer shivered and rolled onto her side, looking up at Nick. "Kevin's a jerk, that's all." Sleeping with Nick would infuriate Kevin. And wouldn't that be fun....

"Kevin's not here now," Nick said softly, staring into Jennifer's blue eyes, feeling himself slipping away. Kevin's not here, and Kevin would never need to know...he wanted this.

"No, he isn't," Jen agreed, feeling Nick press into her on the bed and gasping when she felt how eager he was. "Nick..." As much as she wanted to do this, it was still a little weird...this was Nicky...but god, the Nicky she thought she knew wouldn't feel like this...

"Shhh," he replied, his lips covering hers before she could speak again, his tongue quickly pushing its way into her mouth. Ever since he'd seen her out on that balcony, he'd been dying to kiss her, take that silly shirt off of her... He groaned when he felt the warmth of her tongue reaching out to play with his and rolled over on top of her on the bed, his body stretching out fully to cover hers.

"Nick..." Jen's hands tangled themselves in his hair of a will of their own, her mouth opening to return his kiss eagerly.

"Don't say anything," Nick whispered, reaching down and pulling her nightshirt over her head in one swift motion, a grin covering his face when he saw her lying underneath him, wearing only her panties. "God, you're beautiful..." he breathed before bending down to lick the hollow of her neck, his heart soaring when she moaned softly.

Jen's eyes fluttered shut when she felt his lips close on her nipple and suck deeply. "Oh jesus, Nick..." she sighed, her back arching into his mouth.

Nick smiled and continued sliding down her body, his tongue tracing a line down her tummy, stopping when he reached the top of her panties. He looked up at her, grinning when he saw her staring back at him, breathing heavily. "Jenny..."

"Please..Nick..." Jennifer breathed, gasping when she saw Nick slide off her underwear, his eyes never leaving hers. "Please...."

Nick pushed her legs further apart to allow himself easier access, before bending his head and licking steadily over her softness, groaning with pleasure when he felt her hips jerk into his face in reaction. He reached up and grasped her hips with his hands, holding her in place as his tongue worked over her, his lips closing on her core and sucking hard.

"Oh my god..." Jen's eyes fluttered shut as her body started to tremble, Nick's lips and tongue sending the most exquisite sensations through her body. Her fingers curled through his hair, pulling his head closer to her, all thoughts gone from her head except the pleasure she was feeling.

Nick just held her hips tighter as he felt her jerk around him, sucking on her as her cries turned to screams, not stopping until he'd licked up every drop of sweetness from her. When she had finally calmed down, he kissed his way back up her body before finding her lips again, his tongue sliding deep into her mouth.

"God, Nick...." Jennifer panted, returning the kiss, feeling a new wave of pleasure rush through her when she tasted herself on his tongue. She reached down and pushed off his boxers, grinning when she saw him spring free. Pushing him onto his back on the bed, she climbed on top of him, bending her head and licking at him as if he were a lollipop, lapping at the wetness forming on the tip.

"Jenny..." Nick moaned when he felt her tongue run over him, his eyes widening at the sight of her mouth closing over him. "Jesus..." He couldn't believe this was really happening, this was Jenny...Kevin's Jenny...

Jennifer purred around Nick's length and was rewarded with a low growl from him, his hands digging into her hair and dragging her back up to his face. "What?"

"I want to come inside of you," Nick said gruffly, rolling her over on the bed and hooking her legs around his back before positioning himself at her entrance, looking into her eyes. He slid just the tip of himself inside of her and paused, grinning when her eyes opened wide to stare at him. "You ok?"

Jennifer squirmed on the bed, trying to push her hips up into Nick, but he held her down, smiling at her torture. She could barely feel him inside of her, god, she wanted more... "I'm ok..." she breathed, her hands clutching onto his butt to try to pull him closer to her. "I want more."

"I got more," Nick grinned, and kissed her, his tongue diving into her mouth in a poor imitation of what she wanted him to be doing elsewhere. He felt her tighten around him and was unable to avoid jerking deeper into her in response, gasping as her wetness stretched to accommodate him.

"Better," Jen gasped, staring when Nick once again held his hips perfectly still inside of her, amazed by his self-control. "Come on, Nicky, please..."

"Just want to make sure you're ok," He told her again, this time bending his head to lick at her nipple, laughing when she cursed at him in reply. "What?"

"You're teasing me..." she said softly, her eyes never leaving his as he pulled completely out of her before sliding back in, this time burying himself inside of her with a moan.

"Am I?" Nick replied, his blue eyes glassy with desire, as he rotated his hips in a slow circle. "You don't like this?"

"I do..." Jennifer's fingers dug into Nick's skin as she tried to pull him closer, her ankles locking around his back. She felt him bite down on her nipple and cried out, wishing he would stop teasing her and just finish it. "You want to make me beg, don't you."

Nick moved back up her body and looked into her eyes before kissing her nose, a smirk on his face. "Now why would you say that?" he asked her, once again pulling fully out of her, torturously slow, only pushing back in when he felt her nails dig painfully into his back in desperation.

"You know what I want," She told him, making a face when he ducked his head away from her, not even letting her kiss him. "Nick..."

"What do you want?" Nick licked over her lips quickly, moving away before she could capture his tongue with her mouth. He felt her jerk into him and smiled, pulling out of her again, his hands holding her hips firmly in place.

"Just, god, please, Nick...." Jennifer cried, as he rewarded her by shoving himself deep inside of her hard, finally listening to her and finding a steady pace. "Oh god, yes..." she gasped, her eyes rolling back in her head as her body started dancing of its own will, moving with Nick's in a primal, sensual rhythm.

Nick felt her tightening around him and increased the speed of his thrusts, his breath coming in heavy gasps. "Jen, baby, you're amazing..." He felt her clench down on him and cried out, unable to believe he could feel like this. Nothing had ever felt so good...

"Nicky," Jen moaned as she felt herself explode around him, lightening bolts of the most intense pleasure shooting through her body. She was dimly aware of Nick calling out her name as he jerked into her one final time, and then they were both silent, holding each other tight as they regained their breath.

"Nick..." Jen broke the silence, reaching up and wiping a sweaty lock of hair from his forehead, kissing his lips softly. She made a slight face when he didn't reply, closing her eyes and listening to the sound of him breathing above her.

"Shhh..." Nick pulled out of her with a soft groan, rolling onto his side and snuggling her into his arms. "Just go to sleep...we'll talk in the morning."

Jennifer didn't reply, between the alcohol, the stress of the day, and what she had just done with Nick, she was exhausted, and the brief silence was all her body had needed to take its rest.

Nick smiled lightly and kissed her forehead, his hand smoothing her hair down her back as she slept. "Goodnight, Jennifer," he whispered, before joining her in a deep, restful slumber.



Jennifer woke up feeling like her stomach was burning, barely making it out of bed and into the bathroom in time, her head in the toilet bowl before her mind fully comprehended what was going on. "What the fuck did I do..." she whispered to herself softly, sitting on the floor of the bathroom for a moment, waiting for her churning stomach to calm down now that it was emptied of its contents. She was naked, and she distinctly recalled someone's arms being around her before she'd sprinted for the bathroom. With a groan, she pushed herself off of the floor and rinsed out her mouth, using some of the toothpaste she found sitting on the sink. Well, at least she definitely wasn't in Kevin's room, his hotel bathrooms were always arranged the exact same way, with his neat bag of necessities right next to the sink. Instead, there was a half empty tube of toothpaste, a towel that had evidently been used, and a comb with blond hair in it...her eyes widened and she picked up the comb, staring at it in shock. Had she combed her hair?

Jennifer turned around and looked at what was in the bathroom, finding a pair of boxers on the floor. She tried to remember the last Backstreet Boys interview she'd seen...AJ, Howie, Nick...who wore boxers?? God, this was awful. She heard a sound in the room outside and dropped the comb, realizing she would have to go out and face the music. Grabbing a clean towel off of the rack, she wrapped it around herself before opening the door, walking out quickly, searching for her nightshirt on the floor.

"Hey..." Nick said softly, his eyes widening when she jumped into the air, startled by his voice. "You ok? I thought I heard you throwing up..."

"Drank too much last night," Jennifer mumbled, locating her shirt and slipping it on, her heart beating a mile a minute. She'd slept with NICK?! Jesus fucking christ...

"Last night was fun..."

Jen froze at the tone in his voice and stood up straight, turning to look at him. "Last night was a mistake, Nick, Kevin would kill us both if he ever found out..." her heart sank as she remembered her motivation for doing what she'd done the night before. Yeah, Kevin would be pissed at her, but he would KILL Nick, how could she not have thought about that? She couldn't do that to him...

"Kevin never needs to know," Nick shrugged, and sat up in bed, reaching out for her. "Come back to bed, it's still early."

"No, Nick, I can't," Jen shook her head rapidly, groaning when the floor spun underneath her. What the hell had she been thinking...she turned to leave, fumbling over the lock on the door in her panic.

"Jenny, stay..."

Jennifer stared at the door in front of her, wondering why leaving was so difficult...she shouldn't be here in the first place. She turned around slowly, gasping softly when she saw Nick standing up, completely naked. God, he was beautiful...and he wanted her...she felt a rush of heat run over her as her gaze dropped down his body, seeing him standing fully at attention. "I have to go," she stammered, pulling open the door quickly and walking out before Nick could cross the short distance to her. She knew if he touched her, she would never get out of the room.

Nick's face fell as he saw the door close behind her, and he sighed heavily before walking back to bed and sliding under the covers. She was right, it was a mistake...but god, what a good mistake it had been....
Chapter 7 by old_archive
Jennifer emerged from the shower to find Carly awake, flicking the remote at the television angrily. "Problem?"

"The remote's busted, turn it on, would you?" Once Jen turned on the tv, Carly threw the remote at the wall, laughing when it shattered into pieces. "Oops."

"Cute, Carly," Jen shook her head and dug through her bag for her Advil, sighing with relief when she heard the familiar rattle of a full bottle. She swallowed the pills dry, then continued digging through her bag for her workout clothes. "We have a rehearsal today, right?"

"At 9." Carly was watching Jen with a curious expression on her face. "You ok? You look a little green."

"Hungover," Jen confessed, letting out an angry scream when she couldn't find her favorite tights. "Dammit, if I left them in our last hotel I'm going to kill someone...."

Carly started laughing and sat up in bed, "You said it wouldn't take long last night, instead you ended up getting wasted and coming home bright and early? Have fun?"

"No." Jen replied with a frown, unhappily settling on another pair of tights. She was not going to think about last night. Not at all. "I've been sick since the second I woke up."

"Why'd you go and get drunk then, girl? You know better, 'specially when we got a rehearsal so early."

"I'm an idiot," Jen shrugged, looking at the door in fear when she heard a loud knock. "Oh fuck..." she quickly located a sweatshirt and pulled it on before opening the door, unsure who she was more afraid to find on the other side. "Oh, Kevin..."

"Can we talk?" Kevin asked her, his green eyes twinkling as he pulled her into his arms in a hug. "I was an idiot last night. There. I said it."

Jennifer wasn't quite sure why she suddenly felt like crying, but she did, feeling Kevin's arms wrap comfortingly around her back. "Yes, you were."

"And I'm sorry." His voice was so soft, she could barely hear him, and she pulled away from him with a chuckle.

"Excuse me?" Jen looked up at him, a wry smile on her face. "What was that? I'd like to hear it again, please..." she cupped her ear and tilted her head towards Kevin's, waiting for him to repeat himself.

"I said I'm sorry," Kevin repeated into her ear, laughing when she giggled from his breath on her skin. "Happy now?" he whispered directly into her ear.

"Very!" Jen grinned and hugged him, her hangover temporarily forgotten in her glee. Kevin apologizing, now THAT was a rare event. Pretty damn rare, in fact....

"Good," Kevin smiled. "I'm heading down to breakfast, you care to join me?"

Jen groaned and held her stomach, a wave of nausea sweeping over her at the thought of food. "No thanks, I'll see you at rehearsal."

"Ok," Kevin hugged her again before leaving with a wave, in search of someone else to have breakfast with.

"Kevin's sorry for what?" Carly asked as Jen walked back into the room. The door had been open, she couldn't exactly have avoided hearing the entire thing, right?

"For being a jerk, which he is all the time," Jen looked at her bag, and then at Carly. "Can I take Pepto on top of Advil? Or is that, like, non-prescription hell or something?"

"I think you can, sure," Carly smirked. "So, um, Jen, riddle me this, if Kevin was apologizing for something that happened last night, why didn't he do it before you left his room this morning?"

Jennifer froze, the pink bottle of Pepto halfway to her mouth, and stared at Carly. "Uh..." God, it was far too early for her to be able to come up with a good lie...

Carly bounced on the bed and clapped her hands, laughing at Jen's reaction. "Ok, so you got laid last night. Who was it?"

Jen made a face and took a chug of the Pepto before answering. "You're nuts."

"No, I'm damn near psychic at times. You may be sick as a dog this morning, but you got fucked but good last night, I know the signs. Who?" Carly looked Jen over through narrowed eyes. "Now, I hear AJ's kinky, and I don't see any bruises or anything. Not to mention, I'd like to think that you can't walk straight after a night with Bone...do me a favor, walk on a line?"

"Fuck you," Jen returned the Pepto bottle to her bag before flopping down on her bed, head buried in her pillows. "I don't want to think about it..."

"Come on, Jen, babe, you gotta spill." Carly got off of her bed and joined Jen on hers, rubbing her friend's back consolingly. "You'll feel better if you talk about it..."

"I'll feel better if I forget it ever happened," Jen rolled over onto her back and looked up at Carly. "It wasn't supposed to happen the way it did...not that it was supposed to happen at all, but..." It had been better when she couldn't remember what had happened, but sure enough, every single sordid detail of the night before was burned into her memory, and now she couldn't forget it.

"But what?"

"I wasn't supposed to like it so much!" Jennifer groaned when Carly started laughing at her. "See, talking about it doesn't help."

"I'm sorry, babe, that just sounds pretty damn funny to me...you weren't supposed to like it?" Carly asked through her giggles, finally putting her hand over her mouth to quiet herself down. "Sorry."

"I was pissed at Kevin, I got drunk...I thought it would be a good way to get Kevin even more pissed off. That was the ONLY reason I did it...but then I really liked it, and he was amazing, and, god Carly, he wasn't supposed to care!" Jennifer shook her head and rolled her eyes. "He was so sweet this morning, it broke my heart leaving him. But it was never, ever, supposed to be anything more than sex..."

"You slept with Nick," Carly said with a nod. "Clearly."

"What do you mean?" Jen's brow wrinkled, and she stared at her friend. "I clearly slept with Nick?"

"AJ, Howie, I can see them doing the one night stand thing, totally. But Nick, not the way he's been looking at you over the last couple weeks, Jen, he's got it bad for you." Carly shrugged. "I'm surprised he hasn't tried something with you before now."

Jen's eyes widened in shock, and she waved her hands at Carly in disagreement, "oh no, he does not. He didn't do anything last night, it was totally my fault, I practically threw myself at him. He just went for it..."

"I think you're totally wrong, Jen," Carly shook her head. "You dance with him every night, you don't think he touches you a little too much at times? His hands linger a little too long in certain places?"

"Every guy does that," Jen shrugged. Getting groped by the guys you danced with was part and parcel of being a female dancer. It had happened on the NSYNC tour, so it had happened on the Backstreet tour. No biggie.

"Nick doesn't," Carly replied. "Never, ever, did he touch me like that. But I see him doing it to you. He ever hit on you before?"

"A couple times...." Jen answered slowly, trying to remember what had happened. It was hard, she'd always just dismissed him as being silly, drunk, horny, whatever...he was just Kevin's little brother Nicky, and she never thought anything of it. "It was a mistake, Carly, I've known him since he was 12 years old, I can't believe what I just did...."

"He's not 12 years old anymore," Carly looked at the clock and groaned. "You want first shower? We gotta get ready for rehearsal."

"You go, I took one already," Jen waved her friend off and lay back in the bed, staring at the ceiling. She'd made a mistake, plain and simple, and it was one she was never going to make again. Kevin would never find out, and everything would be just fine.

Or so she hoped.



Jennifer slowly collected her things after the night's performance, dreading getting onto the tourbus. She'd barely said two words to Nick all day, she didn't know what to say, and the expression in his eyes when he looked at her was killing her.

"Hey Jenny," Brian picked up her bag helpfully with a smile, waving towards a coffee stand. "Want a cup before we go?"

"You're a god," she grinned, and followed Brian, accepting a cup of coffee with a smile. "I could use this."

"I heard you had a rough morning," Brian looked at her as he sipped his coffee, before pointing to a set of chairs. "Sit."

Jennifer felt her stomach knot at the expression on Brian's face, and she sat down, wondering what he was talking about. "Did Kevin say something to you?"

Brian sat down across from her before answering. "Nick did."

Jen's face paled as she looked at Brian, "You can't say anything to Kevin, please, he'd kill us."

Brian's eyes narrowed, and he shook his head sadly. "I'm not going to say anything to Kevin, I wouldn't do that. But...why Nick?"

Jennifer felt tears form in her eyes at the tone in Brian's voice, and she wondered what on earth Nick had said to him. "He was there..." she said softly, knowing telling the truth was her only option at this point.

"So you go find AJ, or Howie, but jesus, Jen, did you have to go sleep with Nick?" Brian asked her angrily.

"What are you talking about??" Jennifer stared at Brian over her coffee cup. "I know I did a stupid thing, all I wanted to do was piss off Kevin, but Nick's a guy, he'll get over it. Isn't this what men DO? One night of meaningless sex?"

"Not Nick, and not with you!" Brian shouted at her, standing up and glaring at her. "Jen, he's had a crush on you since the day he met you, don't you know that? Didn't Kevin ever tell you?"

"Oh no..."

"I swear to god, Jen, you know Nick's my best friend, right? Me and Nick, we're like you and Kevin. And if it wasn't for the fact that I know you, and I know you're not really the bitch you're currently pretending to be, I would be telling Nick to get as far away from you as humanly possible." Brian told her, his blue eyes blazing. "I love you, Jen, but if it comes down to you or Nick, I'm on Nick's side, one hundred percent. Don't you DARE fuck with him."

"I didn't know..." Jennifer stammered, looking up at Brian sadly. "I never would have, if I'd known..."

"I hope not. Otherwise you're not the person I thought you were." Brian sighed, and offered her a hand up. "Come on, we gotta get to the bus, they're going to be wondering where we disappeared to."

"Right." Jen finished off her coffee and threw the cup away before following Brian to the bus, her heart feeling appropriately beaten in by Brian's lecture. She really hadn't known about Nick, but she should have known better....god, what had she done.
Chapter 8 by old_archive
Jennifer flopped down next to Kevin on the couch, smiling when his arm slipped around her back, pulling her into his chest. "Good show tonight," she said half-heartedly, making small talk.

"You still feeling sick?" He asked, looking at her carefully. She'd been acting funny all day, and had been blaming it on the flu, or something...

Jen leaned her head on his chest, closing her eyes and snuggling against him. "Yes, so stop talking." She felt a bump, then a jerk, as the bus started moving, taking them to their next destination.

"Take anything for your tummy?" Kevin's brow wrinkled as he rubbed her stomach slowly, smiling when she stretched out next to him.

"No, but that feels better," she whispered, feeling wonderfully relaxed. Ever since she was a kid, rubbing her stomach put her right to sleep...

Nick walked into the front of the bus and sat down in front of the television, looking up at Kevin and Jen with a curious glance. "She ok?"

"Doesn't feel well," Kevin explained, narrowing his eyes when Nick turned the tv on. "What are you doing?"

"Playing a game," Nick replied, picking up the controller and crossing his legs in front of him, getting comfortable.

"Jen's sick, and trying to sleep..." Kevin hissed at him, groaning in frustration when Brian joined Nick on the floor, grabbing another controller. "You guys just don't care, do you."

"Hey, it is our bus, Kev," Nick shrugged, turning up the volume on the television.

Jen squirmed against Kevin's chest when she heard the invasive sound of gunfire from the tv. And she'd just been getting comfortable... "I should go to my bunk," she told him, standing up and stretching with a groan.

"Sorry the children are so insensitive," Kevin apologized, glaring at Brian and Kevin, who didn't pay any attention to him.

"That's ok," Jennifer said softly. "Goodnight." She made her way to her bunk and climbed in, not at all surprised by Nick's actions, she supposed she deserved it. But Goddammit, she really hadn't known...how could she not have seen....how could Kevin not have told her? Especially when she joined the tour, he should have told her... Complaining to herself about how once again, Kevin trying to protect her had ended up biting her in the ass, Jen fell into an uncomfortable sleep, visions of Nick dancing through her head all night long.



"What is with you?" AJ glared at Jennifer, who had been screwing up in rehearsal all day.

"I'm just tired," she shrugged, and got back into place next to Nick, taking his hand with a glance at him. She'd been trying to talk to him for the last week, but he kept blowing her off. Kevin was going to figure out something was wrong soon enough, she had to get him to stop acting like a child and talk to her.

"Should try sleeping at night, instead of fucking around, then," Nick snapped at her as the music started again, roughly throwing her around, sending her flying into Howie. "Sorry, D."

"Don't apologize to me," Howie stood up, then turned to help up Jennifer, who was rubbing her head in a daze. "You ok?"

"I'll be fine," Jen smiled weakly, and accepted his hand up. She sighed with relief when Fatima declared the rehearsal over, and followed Nick out of the arena, cornering him in the hallway. "Nick, stop!"

"What do you want?" He turned around to look at her, a sad expression on his face. "We made a mistake, right?"

"Yeah, but we're friends, right? You can't keep ignoring me." Jennifer grabbed his hand and pulled her towards him, not letting go when he tried to pull away. "Nicky..."

"Jenny, I really liked making that mistake, ok?" Nick looked at his hand in hers, his lips turned down in a frown. "I wanna make it again..."

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she let Nick's hand go with a start. "That can't happen."

"I know," Nick shrugged. "Just sayin'."

"But we're ok, right? You're talking to me again?"

"I guess," Nick said softly, shaking his head. Take what you can get, that was the expression, right? "We had fun though, didn't we."

"Yeah, Nicky, we did," Jennifer confessed, feeling a familiar heat begin to burn between her legs when his eyes looked deep into hers.

Nick pulled her into a hug, wishing things could be different. "You can always come bitch to me about Kevin, though, that was fun too."

Jen giggled, marveling in how different Nick's hugs could feel from Kevin's...but so nice, so wonderful...where Kevin was hard and solid, Nick was soft and cuddly, and she just wanted to lose herself in him. She wrapped her arms around his back and smiled, "I'll always have stuff to bitch about too, I'm sure."

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Kevin hollered, walking around a corner and finding the two of them hugging each other.

Nick started laughing and released Jen, pushing her towards Kevin. "Here, she's all yours."

"Paranoid much, Kev?" Jen hugged him with a wry smile.

"Do you expect any less of me?" He asked her, smacking at Nick.

"Never, Richie, never."



"This really isn't funny," AJ sat on the couch on the tourbus, his head in his hands, complaining about how unfair life was. For the second time in a row, he had planned a crazy night clubbing, and they were going to be stuck spending it in traffic on the tour bus. "I wanted to dance!"

"Don't you dance enough every night?" Brian shrugged, walking over to the small refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water before sitting down next to Jen on the floor, where she was watching tv. "What's on?"

"Midnight, that means only one thing," Jen changed the channel on the television before squirming around and hollering for Nick. "He'll kill me if I don't get him."

"What?" Brian asked, looking at the television in surprise. Looked like anime.

"Gundam Wing," Jen explained. Paul had gotten her hooked on the show months ago, and she in turn had turned Nick into quite a fan. And once you started watching, you never wanted to miss an episode. You couldn't, or else the show would never make sense again...

"That is my sign that it's time to go to bed," Kevin stood up and stretched, rolling his eyes at the television. He wasn't the slightest bit interested in Jen's silly cartoon...

"What's up?" Nick emerged from the back of the bus dressed only in a pair of boxers, wiping sleepy dust from his eyes.

"Gundam," Jennifer told Nick with a smile, taking in his disheveled appearance. Freshly fucked hair and all, as the expression went...

"There's no place left to sit," he pouted, pointing to Brian in his usual spot next to Jen on the floor.

"Here," Jen scooted forward and made room for Nick behind her, leaning back into his chest after he'd sat down, his legs wrapping comfortably around her. "This works."

Kevin cleared his throat loudly and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the two of them.

"Yes?" Jen looked up at Kevin, eyes wide with innocence, giggling when she felt Nick tickle her waist.

"I think Nick needs to put more clothes on," Kevin said slowly, not appreciating the way Jen was squirming in Nick's lap as he tickled her.

"Brian is sitting right here, Kevin, you're being a little silly," Jen told him as she smacked at Nick's hands.

"Yeah...." Kevin said hesitantly. Something about the two of them recently just grated at him, hit him in entirely the wrong way.

"Go to bed, Kevin," Jen waved him off before snuggling back into Nick's arms, glad he was finally done with his tickle fest.

"So, which one of you is going to explain to me what I've missed in the series so far?" Brian asked with a smile.

Jen and Nick both groaned at the same time, shaking their heads. He wasn't going to understand a thing....

Nick took a deep breath, and then started slowly. "Ok. So, well, there are these robot type things, and they're called Gundams.."

"What?"
Chapter 9 by old_archive
"Ever get in one of those moods where you're insanely horny, and you have no idea why?" Jennifer complained to Carly as they got their things together before leaving for the arena for the night's performance.

"Dancing with AJ? Every night," Carly laughed and stuffed an extra pair of tights into her bag. "Do you know I have BEGGED Fatima to put me with him as a permanent partner? She says no way, I need to be with Kevin."

"She'll never put you with someone you want to be with," Jennifer shrugged. That was pretty obvious the minute she'd pulled her away from Kevin, and she was pretty sure if Fatima ever figured how much she was enjoying dancing with Nick, she'd find her a new partner again. Although, she was kind of out of options, with her height, she couldn't exactly be paired with Howie, or AJ, or Brian...

"Gotta love her," Carly snickered. "If you're horny, you know where to go..."

"I appreciate my life, thanks," Jennifer rolled her eyes. Kevin was wonderfully clueless about what had happened between her and Nick, and she fully intended to keep it that way. "I just really really want someone..."

"Could always try hitting on their bodyguards?" Carly offered helpfully, laughing when Jennifer grabbed a pillow off the bed to throw at her. "No?"

"You go hit on Billy, Carly, I'll take pictures."

"That's sick. Carlos?"

"Stop it, please..." Jennifer groaned, and pushed her friend out the door. "Let's go..."

"Marcus?"

"Marcus what?" AJ asked, catching the tail end of their conversation as he walked down the hall. "Heading to the van?"

"Yeah, and nothing," Jennifer replied with a smirk, glaring at Carly before she could reply. "And how are you doing tonight, Alex?"

"Just charming, and yourself Jennifer?" AJ cracked, waving Jen down the hall in front of him.

"Lovely, thanks," She smiled, pushing Carly into Billy as they passed by Nick's room, sending them both sprawling.

"HEY!" Carly shouted, flushing with embarassment when Nick came out of his room to see what the commotion was. "Hey Nick."

"Hey," Nick looked around the hallway, laughing when he spotted Billy on the floor. "Some teeny get the best of you, man?"

"Just a dancer," Billy grumbled, standing up and shaking his head. "You need to get a move on, anyway."

"Yeah, I know," Nick stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him, looking at AJ and Jennifer with a smirk. "What are you two laughing at?"

"Nothing," Jen giggled. She was laughing at Carly, of course, who was steaming, still apologizing profusely to Billy for knocking him down.

"So, Nick, what do you do when you're extremely horny, and you don't know why?" Carly quipped as they all stepped into the elevator, sticking out her tongue when Jen turned around to glare at her.

Nick's face turned red as he found his gaze straying to Jennifer, and he quickly looked down at the floor, shrugging his shoulders. "Dunno..I guess I know why most of the time."

"What do you do then?" Carly pressed on, loving Nick's embarassed reaction.

"CARLY!" Jennifer hissed, shoving her out of the elevator the second the doors opened. "Ignore her, Nick."

"With pleasure," Nick replied, pushing past them and walking out to the van amid screams from the gathered fans outside.

"That wasn't funny," Jennifer told Carly, shaking her head at the other woman's giggles.

"Oh yes it was," Carly argued, pointing to the smile on AJ's face. "See, he thought so too."

Jennifer glared at AJ before following Carly to the bus. AJ didn't know about her and Nick, of course he thought it was funny. Hardy fucking har, very funny...



That night, Jennifer found herself unable to sleep, and escaped to the hotel pool, hoping that swimming some laps would calm her down. She dove into the cool water and began swimming freestyle, losing herself in the calming rhythm of the water rushing around her ears. She jerked up with a start when she heard the splash of someone else diving into the water, and looked around, treading water in place. "Someone there?"

"Just me," Nick replied, emerging in front of her with a splash. "I saw you in here...I didn't know you liked to swim." He'd been planning on swimming some laps to relax, but the second he'd seen Jen's body gliding through the water, a whole other plan had formed in his mind. One he liked a lot more than just swimming...

"Late at night, when I can't sleep, always," Jennifer confessed, her heart beating fast from the surprise of suddenly seeing Nick there. "You?"

"I just always go for the pool," he shrugged, swimming closer to her in the water. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

Jennifer was suddenly aware that Nick was extremely close to her, and she was brushing up against him every time she waved her hands underwater, keeping herself afloat. "No particular reason..."

"Didn't have anything to do with whatever Carly was asking me about before?" Nick asked her, his voice dropping into a lower key suggestively.

Jennifer looked at him in surprise, gasping when he grabbed her underwater and pulled her to him, grinding his hips into hers. "Nick..."

"Feel that?" Nick pressed himself into her, knowing when he saw her eyes narrow that she'd felt exactly what he wanted her to. "That's for you, Jenny...do you not care?"

"Kevin will kill us," Jennifer tried to push Nick away, but he was stronger than she was, and more comfortable in the water than her. Every time she tried to push at him she would just sink further underwater. She was stuck clinging to him in the pool, looking towards shallower water wistfully.

"Kevin never needs to know," Nick told her before bringing his lips down upon hers, kissing her roughly, his tongue diving deep into her mouth. He was rewarded with a moan from her, and his arms went around her back, pulling her body tight against him, the water between them making her skin feel slick against his.

"No, Nick..." Jennifer struggled against him, gasping when she felt his lips trail down her neck, kissing her under the water. Kevin would kill her, Brian would kill her... "It was a mistake once...we can't do it again."

"Sure we can..." Nick hiked her up onto his hips and swam through the water, setting her down on the side of the pool with a grin. "We kept it from him once, we can keep it from him twice. You're saying everything to me, except that you don't want this. Say that, I'll leave you alone, otherwise...Kevin will never know."

"Twice, that's it?" Jennifer said softly as she felt Nick push her legs apart, sighing with pleasure when she felt him press urgently into her through the thin fabric of their bathing suits.

"That's it...just a mistake we want to make one more time." Nick kissed her again, his hands reaching around her back and sliding the straps of her bathing suit down before she could protest further. "Just one more time."

And so, on the edge of the empty hotel pool at 2 am, Nick and Jennifer made the same mistake just one more time...

....three more times.



"WAKE UP" Carly threw a pillow at Jennifer, laughing when her friend just rolled over and buried her head further into the pillows. "We got rehearsal, girl, I already let you sleep through breakfast."

"No way, it can't be morning yet," Jennifer complained, grabbing the pillow that had landed on her stomach and using it to cover her head. "I just went to sleep..."

"I don't know when you went to sleep, I was already out when you came in," Carly sat down on her bed with a sigh, looking at Jen carefully, a smirk on her face. "You naked under there?"

Jen's eyes opened in surprise, and she peeked under the covers, groaning when she realized, indeed, she was. She looked around and saw her bathing suit on the floor of the room, she must have just pulled it off and crawled into bed last night. "I guess I was too tired to bother with my nightshirt."

Carly's eyes narrowed, and she waited for Jen to get out of bed so she could get a better look at her. "And you were where, last night?"

"Went down to the pool to swim some laps." Wrapping herself in the sheet from the bed, Jennifer got out of bed and padded to the bathroom, groaning in frustration when Carly followed her eagerly. "What?"

Carly pushed past Jen into the bathroom and sat down on the side of the shower, watching as her friend brushed her teeth. "You weren't alone in the pool last night, I went to sleep a good hour after you left, you were gone for a mighty long time. You never swim laps for THAT long."

"Had a lot of frustration to work out," Jen quipped, before giggling at herself in the mirror. Ok, even she couldn't pull that off with a straight face...she'd worked off her frustration alright...

"Ah ha!" Carly's eyes lit up at Jen's giggle, and she wrinkled her nose. "With Nick, I gather..."

"You started it." Jen accused Carly with a wave of her toothbrush. "With your horny shit thing yesterday."

"YOU started it when you first slept with him weeks ago, don't give me that," Carly chuckled, standing up and checking her reflection in the mirror. "Kevin's gonna kill you...all I ask is that you sell tickets when he finds out, ok? I wanna watch."

"Very funny." Jennifer laughed, flicking water from the sick at her. "Kevin isn't ever going to find out, last night was a one time thing. That's it."

"Like the first time was a one time thing?"

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "That was a drunken mistake..."

"And last night?"

"A sober mistake?"

Carly laughed, smacking the door of the bathroom as she walked out. "You tell yourself that if it gets you to sleep at night. But we got a good four more months on tour with these boys, and if you really think you're not gonna sleep with Nick again, you're kidding yourself."

"I need to take a shower," Jennifer closed the bathroom door, ignoring Carly's continuing chatter about how she was destined to 'fuck Nick senseless until the end of the tour.' Just another mistake they'd made, and they would never do it again.

Right?
Chapter 10 by old_archive
"Morning," Jennifer followed Carly into the arena, a large cup of steaming coffee cradled between her hands, nodding at the group gathered on stage.

"We're not late." Carly stated as she climbed up on the stage, sitting down between Melissa and Howie with a smirk.

"No, our watches are all wrong," Howie agreed with Carly, laughing when she peered at his watch and nodded.

"I have a message for you," Kevin walked over to Jennifer and smiled at the grimace she gave him. "What?"

"What message, from who?" She looked at him cautiously before scanning the rest of the stage, spying Nick sitting in a corner talking to Brian.

"From Kristen." Kevin replied with a shake of his head. "And now who's paranoid? She's coming on tour next week, she said that you have to leave a night open for the two of you to hang out."

"Oh!" Jennifer grinned, and took a deep sip of her coffee. Yeah, she was being paranoid... "Cool! Definitely, whenever's good for her is fine with me."

"I think AJ's attempting to arrange for another club night while Kristen's here." Kevin told her, laughing when AJ groaned in response. "He keeps trying, anyway."

"I WILL PREVAIL!" AJ hollered, grabbing Jen in a hug, ignoring the coffee that went flying. "I gotta get this girl on a real dance floor.."

"Ok, Bone, you will," Jennifer clutched onto what was remaining of her coffee and sat down on the side of the stage, leaving AJ and Kevin talking about where they would go clubbing.

"Hey," Nick sat down next to her, looking at her spilled coffee with a smirk. "AJ came, he saw, he destroyed, huh..."

"Yeah," Jennifer stared at her coffee cup, insanely aware of how close Nick was sitting next to her....close enough that she could smell the soap he'd used in the shower this morning. She wanted to turn to him, bury her head in his neck, inhale that scent, good god...Kevin was right behind them...what was Nick doing?

"Sleep well last night?" He asked her, smiling when she made a face at him. "No?"

"I slept incredibly well," Jennifer said softly, looking into his eyes and shaking her head. "What are you doing?" she whispered, looking to make sure Kevin was still deep in conversation with AJ.

"Just talking to a friend," Nick shrugged, enjoying her discomfort. "He doesn't suspect anything, will you relax?"

"He'll kill you, don't you know that?" Jennifer didn't understand why Nick was so calm about this. What they'd done, twice now, was insanely stupid, and Kevin wouldn't stand for it.

"He'll never know."

"As long as we don't do anything to make him suspicious, yeah, he won't know," Jennifer agreed, moving slightly away from Nick. Maybe if she couldn't smell him, she wouldn't be so tempted...

"He's not suspicious," Nick grabbed her and pulled her to him, hugging her tightly. "He has NO idea, stop worrying."

Jennifer squirmed in Nick's grasp, her body feeling electrified from the simple touch of his hands on her waist. God, what was he doing to her... "Let go of me, Nick..." she felt his hands run over her stomach and over her hips, finally settling on her rear, squeezing gently.

"I want to fuck you now," Nick whispered into her hair, before licking her ear quickly, laughing as she shuddered in his arms. "Don't you want to fuck me?"

"A mistake," Jennifer shook her head rapidly, turning to see Kevin staring at the two of them, a strange expression on his face. "Nick, no."

"A mistake I think we're going to make a lot more," Nick replied evenly into her ear, glancing up quickly to see Kevin sitting down next to them. "Hey Kev."

"Morning, Nick," Kevin's eyes narrowed as he noticed Nick's hands firmly on Jennifer's ass, and he stared at them until the younger man moved them up to her stomach. "Have a good night?"

"A great night," Nick smiled, laughing when Jennifer tensed in his arms. "The hotel we're staying at has a great pool."

"I'm going to go stretch out," Jennifer removed Nick's arms from around her waist and stood up, not wanting to stick around to hear anymore of this conversation. "See you two later."

"Later, Jenny," Nick called after her. "So, Kev, how'd you sleep last night? Check out the pool?"



"I haven't asked you....how are you liking the tour so far?" Kevin asked Jennifer softly, pushing her hair out of her face. They were curled up on the couch in the tourbus, watching Brian and Nick play on the playstation, AJ and Howie had gone to bed long ago.

"I'm having a great time," Jennifer grinned, hugging Kevin tight. "As I knew I would." And she was, as much as Kevin drove her nuts, he was her best friend in the world, and it was wonderful seeing him day in and day out.

"Cool." Kevin smiled, lowering his voice. "And AJ, Howie, Nick...it's been cool?"

Jennifer snickered, looking at Nick attacking Brian with a pillow over some horrible incident that had just occurred in their game. "Yeah, it's been cool..." except for Nick teasing her relentlessly for the last week, yeah, everything had been cool. But, she had been successful in turning him down every time he'd tried to coax her into bed since, which she was very proud of.

"Good." He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her closer to him, snuggling his body close to hers. "Have you talked to Paul at all?"

Jen froze in Kevin's arms, and shook her head slowly. She hadn't even thought about Paul in weeks, in fact, she realized. The only man she'd been thinking about lately had been, well, Nick... "Paul's quite happy with his computer, I'm sure."

"Maybe you'll meet someone clubbing next week," Kevin offered helpfully. Jennifer was beautiful, it wasn't like she would have a problem meeting men. He just didn't want her dating any of his friends...that's all...nothing wrong with that.

"Yeah, maybe." Jennifer shrugged, laughing when Nick successfully wrestled Brian to the ground, sitting on top of him crowing. "Don't you think you should go save your cousin?"

"He'll be fine," Kevin said with a smile, pointing as Nick turned to wink at Jennifer before letting Brian go, the proud victor. "Nick's bigger than Brian, I don't know why he's always so surprised when he wins."

"Boys will be boys...."

Nick got up and walked over to the couch, grabbing Jennifer's hand and yanking her off Kevin before she could protest. "Gundam time...you snuggle with me now."

Jennifer laughed as Nick pushed her down onto the floor in front of the television, sitting behind her and wrapping his legs around her. "Oh sure, Kevin's never going to suspect a thing," she whispered to Nick as she felt his hands wrap around her stomach, pulling her into his chest.

"Nope," Nick told her, laughing at Kevin's shocked expression. "What, Train?"

"Watch your hands," Kevin warned, before standing up and groaning. "I'm getting old. Bedtime for me."

"What hands..." Nick whispered in Jen's ear as he 'accidently' brushed one of his hands over her breast, laughing when she jerked in his arms. "Hmmm?"

"Don't do that," She hissed at him, smacking his leg, hard, with a resounding wack.

"I'm going to go to bed too," Brian told them, pushing himself up off the floor. He leveled a warning glare at both Jennifer and Nick before turning and making his way to the back of the bus, leaving the two of them alone.

"Did you tell him about..." Jennifer asked, turning around to look at Nick.

Nick shook his head rapidly, "not about the pool, no. He got way too upset after the first time."

"Good." Jennifer replied, turning back around to face the television, her back firmly against Nick's chest.

"You're so beautiful," Nick whispered, running his hands through her hair and over her shoulders, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Stop it..." Jennifer had intended to sound more stern than she actually did with the argument, but Nick's lips had found her neck, and were kissing the sensitive skin softly. "Nick..we're gonna get caught..."

"No we won't," Nick answered gruffly, pulling a blanket from the couch and arranging it over them. "Everyone's asleep. Just watch the tv."

Jennifer stared at the television, the images not registering on her mind at all. Her mind was thinking about Nick's hands, which had slid underneath her shirt, and were currently working at unhooking her bra. "Oh god, Nick, don't..." her hands found his legs and ran over them, groaning softly when she felt the hard line of his muscle underneath her fingers. God...she loved his body...she pressed back into him, a rush going through her when she felt his length poking excitedly into her rear.

"Shhhh..." he whispered in her ear as his fingers captured her nipple, squeezing it until he heard her moan. "As long as you keep quiet, nobody will ever know." He pushed her shirt up under the blanket, smiling when he felt her bare skin against him.

"Shit," Jennifer cursed, not knowing what else to say...his hands were kneading her breasts steadily as his tongue licked the base of her neck, driving her crazy. She'd been so good...for over a week...goddamn him... "Nick..." she looked down, barely able to detect movement under the heavy blanket covering them, but she could feel one of his hands sliding down her body, and cursed again as her body arched back into his involuntarily.

Nick chuckled against her neck, his breath tickling her skin. "You love this...I know you do..." He slipped his hand inside of her panties, grinning widely when he found her soaking wet. He'd discovered he had some kind of power over her like this, and loved using it to his advantage. She may be Kevin's best friend, but she was his lover, he was staking his claim once and for all. She belonged to him, like this. "Don't you want this?" He slowly inserted a finger inside of her, laughing when she tried to squirm away from him, wrapping his legs tight around her waist to trap her in place. "You do...." He pushed his finger deep inside of her until he felt her collapse back against him, moaning softly. "There you go...."

"Jesus, Nick..." Jennifer breathed, feeling him add another finger to the one already working away inside of her. She shouldn't be doing this, not on the bus, not here, not ever, not at all....what if Kevin woke up and caught them like this...oh god... "Why?" she asked in a daze, running her hands over his legs, reaching as far behind her as she could, but she couldn't quite reach...

"Why what?" Nick asked her softly, his thumb finding her core and stroking it steadily. He felt her jerk back into him and groaned, pushing his hips into her butt. "Because I can't keep my hands off of you?" He shifted her underneath the blanket, lifting her up slightly until she was sitting on his lap, her rear rubbing firmly against him. "Because you make me feel so good?" He moaned when she wiggled her hips on top of him, well aware of what she was feeling underneath her. "Because I've been trying for a week to get you like this?"

Jennifer bit her lip to keep herself from crying out from the feelings Nick was sending through her body. His fingers inside of her, his hand on her breast, his tongue on her neck, the things he was saying, oh god...her head fell back to lean in the crook of his neck, and she turned her head, looking at him still licking her skin. "Nick..."

Nick smiled at the lost expression in her eyes, knowing she was truly his, and brought his lips down on hers, kissing her deeply. He felt her tighten around his fingers and continued moving them steadily within her, rubbing over her in a slow, constant rhythm. "You love this...." He murmured into her mouth, his tongue licking over her lips.

"Yes," Jennifer groaned a reply before she was able to stop herself, feeling herself losing total control. She did, she loved it, nobody ever did the things to her that Nick did...she felt her hips moving in time with Nick's hands of their own will, and smiled when she heard him moan, still pressing urgently into her rear. "Don't you want to do something else?" she whispered, shuddering when he took her earlobe in his mouth and sucked on it.

"I want you to scream my name as I fuck you senseless, but we can't do that right now, can we," Nick answered gruffly, increasing the speed of his movements within her when he felt a new wetness over his fingers. "I want to do a lot of things I can't do right now."

"God, Nick," Jennifer turned to stare at him, her blue eyes wide as she felt tiny tremors start all over her body. "They're gonna hear," she gasped in her panic, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt his fingers push deep within her, finding that perfect spot and pressing hard.

Nick brought his lips down on hers at the moment he felt her jerk around him, her cries muffled by his tongue buried deep in her mouth. He continued kissing her until she stilled, the feeling of her shaking around him, unable to kiss him back from the force of her orgasm, having to be one of the most erotic things he'd ever discovered in his life. When her eyes finally opened to look at him, he just smiled, removing his fingers from her and bringing them to his mouth, licking them.

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she turned around until she was straddling his lap, not caring about much of anything anymore. She kissed him deeply, her tongue diving deep into his mouth to play with his. She ground her hips down on him, grinning when she heard him groan. He hadn't gotten any release yet....it was her turn to play.

"Baby, we should go to bed...don't want to get caught," Nick whispered, running his hands through her hair.

"You are kidding me," Jennifer shook her head, and bent down, disappearing under the blanket. No way would he stop her, not now... She laughed when she heard Nick curse as she undid his pants and slid them down, running her hands over his erect length. He was more than a little excited, she was more than happy to note, licking at the drop of precum that had formed on his tip.

"Jenny..." Nick moaned, running his hands through her hair under the blanket. He looked down, wishing the blanket wasn't in the way...he wanted to see her...watch her...his eyes rolled back in his head as he felt her mouth engulf him from length to tip, his hips jerking into her mouth. "Oh damn, baby..."

Jennifer just continued her torture, sucking and licking over him slowly, cupping his balls in his hand. She located the vein at the base of him and pressed down, smiling when she heard him curse. "Your turn..." she whispered, before taking all of him deep into her throat, sucking hard.

Nick pushed his hand into his mouth in a fist and bit down, not knowing how else he was going to keep himself quiet. God, this felt so good...he felt her mouth moving up and down over him and gasped, knowing the end was close. "Baby, I'm about to..."

"Good," Jennifer continued her movements as she heard him let out a loud moan, his body shaking around her as she sucked him dry. Crawling back up his chest, she kissed him, laughing when he made a face upon tasting himself. "Yeah, tastes nasty, right?"

"I'd rather taste you," Nick said softly, kissing her again, his tongue running over the roof of her mouth.

"We gotta go to bed, Nick," Jennifer pulled her shirt down and looked around for her bra, lifting up the blanket to check around them.

"Yeah," Nick located her bra and handed it to her with a grin. "Although we should do this again, sometime."

"I don't think so," she shook her head and stood up, her eyebrows wrinkling when he just laughed at her. "What?"

"You can't resist me, you'll see." Nick stood up and kissed her quickly before walking off to the back of the bus. "We'll do this again, you'll see."

"No, we won't," Jennifer resolved, looking at her bra with a frown. This was bad, and she wasn't going to do it again...they were gonna get caught, and then all hell would break loose.

If only she didn't like it so damn much....
Chapter 11 by old_archive
"She'll be here Monday, yeah," Kevin answered AJ's question about Kristen's arrival before swiping a french fry off of Jennifer's plate, popping it into his mouth before she could snatch it back.

"You're not allowed to order the healthy stuff and then steal the grease from me," she complained, smacking at his hand playfully. "What would your wife say?"

"She'd say order the grease." Kevin replied with a smirk, searching everyone else's plates for something worth grabbing. He reached across the table and pulled a nacho off of Howie's plate with a smile. "Thanks, D."

"Here," Nick threw a potato skin at Kevin, grinning with it bounced off of his head. "Potato?"

Kevin glared at Nick before winging the potato back at him, hitting him firmly between the eyes, leaving a spot of sour cream. "Better."

Jennifer giggled, watching Nick wipe the sour cream off of his face. "Real mature, guys."

Nick looked at the sour cream on his fingers, then, making sure Jennifer was watching, brought his hand to his mouth and sucked on his fingers one at a time, his eyes never leaving hers.

Jennifer couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips at the expression in his eyes, and she turned her head down to her plate, sure her face was turning bright red.

Kevin's eyes narrowed at Nick's little show, and he threw his napkin over the younger man's face, shaking his head. "Cute, Nicky."

"Sour cream," Nick mumbled around his fingers, continuing to suck on them, much to Jen's discomfort.

"I'm going to get my stuff together, I'll see you in the van," Jennifer stood up quickly, not daring to look at Nick again. She wacked Kevin's head with a giggle as she walked away, trying to forget the image of two those two perfect lips sucking away.



Jennifer made her way up to the room and collected Carly, the two women getting into the van and heading to the arena without incident. Once there, they changed into their costumes for the show before going off in seach of a rehearsal room to stretch out in.

"This'll work," Carly pushed open the door to what looked like an empty dance studio, waving them in.

"Cool," Jennifer dropped her bag in the corner and sat down on the floor, pulling her legs into a split and groaning. "God, I'm sore..."

"Oh?" Carly's eyes lit up, and she looked at her friend with a grin. "Anything you should be sharing with me?"

"Just from dancing, you dirty woman," Jennifer laughed. It had been two days since Nick had cornered her on the bus, and she didn't intend to let it happen again.

"If you inisist," Carly shrugged, stretching out in silence. She finished running through her usual routine and looked at Jen, eyes narrowed. "You done?"

Jennifer shook her head, "I've been so sore lately, I want to stretch out a little longer. You go ahead, I'll catch up." She checked her watch, half an hour until they went on, she was fine for time. She heard the door close behind Carly and bent down, grabbing her ankles and stretching her back.

"Aw, man, now that's a sight..." Nick's voice was deep and gruff, and Jennifer jumped up in surprise.

"I didn't hear you come in..." she stammered, her face turning red as she looked at him. "What are you doing here?" she took a step backwards uneasily as he closed the door behind him and walked into the room.

Nick's lips curled into a grin at her reaction to him, and he walked towards her, his eyes glinting as she backed up into the wall. "I was planning on telling you to come to my room tonight," he told her, grabbing her hands in his and pushing his hips into her, trapping her against the wall.

"To come to your room." Jennifer said disbelievingly, squirming against Nick's grasp. She could feel him pressing against her through their clothes, god, what was he doing like this..they had a show to do...

"But I don't think I can wait." Nick replied before bringing his lips down upon hers and kissing her deeply, grinding his hips into hers. He really had been planning on telling her to see him later, but when he'd walked in and seen her ass sticking up in the air like that, well...

"You don't think you can wait." Jennifer repeated in amazement, unable to move as Nick's lips made their way down her neck, licking at the skin at the base of her neck. "Nick, you have to go on stage, so do I..."

"Not yet," Nick's hands released hers, sliding down her body and over her hips, sliding inside her skirt and cupping her rear. "I want you now."

"No, Nick..." Jennifer's eyes went to the door to the room, which was closed, but not locked. "Someone could walk in..." her words trailed off when she felt his lips close on her nipple through her shirt as two of his fingers working their way inside of her panties, stroking over her.

"Nobody's going to walk in," Nick told her, grinning when he felt her body tighten around him. She could argue with him all she wanted, but her body didn't lie...she wanted him. He quickly undid the buckle on his pants and pushed them down around his ankles, his hands going around her hips to lift her up against the wall. "You know, it's all your fault...you get me all excited, I can't help myself." He said softly, postioning himself at her entrance and looking deeply into her eyes.

"What?" Jennifer stared at him as she felt him lift her legs around his back, her body pressed tight against the wall. "I'm not your whore, Nick.."

"You're not?" Nick asked as he pushed deep inside of her, letting out a loud groan of pleasure. "Oh god babe, you are, you know you are..."

"No," Jennifer protested, but her body was telling her otherwise as it clamped down around Nick, squeezing him tight inside of her. She felt him pull out and cried out, hating herself for wanting him so much. "Nick..."

"See," Nick's hands held her up against the wall as he slid back inside of her again, grinning when her eyes glazed over with pleasure. "You want me...."

"Yes," She breathed, pushing her hips into his, giving herself to him completely. Her arms looped around his neck and she hung on, feeling him moving deep inside of her.

"How do you want me?" Nick asked, bending his head and licking her neck, rotating his hips inside of her. "My little whore...tell me...how do you want me?"

Jennifer couldn't understand why she was getting so excited from the way Nick was talking to her, "I'm not your whore," she whispered helplessly as he shoved himself inside of her again, reminding her of otherwise.

"Jenny, baby, you are all mine," Nick groaned, feeling her hips jerk into his. He increased the speed and depths of his thrusts, groaning with pleasure as he slammed her into the wall, hard. "I want to hear you scream my name as you come, my whore..."

"No, Nick..." Jennifer felt tears come to her eyes as her head hit the wall behind her, Nick pushing deeper inside of her than she knew possible. God, he felt so good, but this was so wrong...

"Say my name," Nick commanded, reaching down and rubbing her softness, feeling her tighten even more around him. "Say my name, Jenny."

"Oh god, Nick," Jennifer cried out as she felt him push inside of her one last time, her body trembling as the most amazing wave of pleasure swept over her. She heard him as he followed suit, warmth flooding inside of her as he found his release.

"You're mine, Jenny, you do know that," Nick told her once he regained his breath, kissing her softly, not wanting to let her go.

Jennifer shook her head and pushed against his chest, gesturing for him to put her down. She wiggled her hips, still feeling him buried deep within her, and looked at him. "Don't we have a show to do?"

"Yeah," Nick pulled out of her and set her down on the ground with a sigh, yanking his pants up and buckling his belt. "Jenny..."

"Don't say anything, Nick," Jennifer turned away from him as she pulled her shirt back down, groaning when she felt a slick wetness slide down her leg. Oh how disgusting...and now she had go to on stage? This wasn't fun anymore, it was becoming humiliating...

"Jenny," Nick reached out to touch her hair, his eyebrow knotting when she pushed his hand away. "What?"

Jennifer picked up her back and slung it over her shoulder, shaking her head sadly. "You wanted me to be your whore, right, Nick? Fine, I'm your whore. Whores don't talk to their john's afterwards, do they."

"I didn't mean that..." Nick protested. He just wanted her to know she was his....

"Yeah, you did, Nick, and you were right." Jen shook her head and left the room, closing the door behind her with a bang. She'd thought many things could possible have happened to her over this tour. Becoming Nick Carter's whore had not been one of them. She frowned and walked down the hall, wondering how she could fix this situation before it got any worse.

Or before Kevin found out.

At this point, she wasn't too sure which one was worse....
Chapter 12 by old_archive
Jennifer was painfully aware of every moment Nick was touching her during the performance that night, feeling like her skin was burning every time they made contact. She whirled in his arms and smiled for the crowd, wondering if any of them could tell how he was effecting her, praying Kevin couldn't tell. When the show finally ended, she made a beeline for the van back to the hotel, refusing to talk to Carly until she had showered and was safely under covers in their room.

"What is with you?" Carly threw the room service menu at Jennifer and rolled her eyes. "You've been all moody ever since before the show."

Jen snuggled up in the covers and groaned. She couldn't smell Nick on her anymore, at least, but she could still feel him, hear him....she was his whore, she couldn't get it out of her mind. Nick Carter's little whore. "Don't ask."

"Get in a fight with Kevin?"

"No."

"Brian?"

"No."

"Nick?"

Jennifer hesitated a moment before answering, "no."

"I'm about to place the room service order, if you're honest, I'll order liquor too." Carly picked up the phone and looked threateningly at Jen. "Do we need alcohol?"

Jen sighed and waved and her friend, nodding. "Yeah, get alcohol."

A bottle of wine later, Carly was laughing hysterically over the idea of Jennifer being Nick's 'little whore.' "Wouldn't Kevin freak the fuck out if he knew Nicky was saying this shit to you," she cackled gleefully, rolling around on the bed.

"It's really not funny," Jennifer moaned, holding her empty wineglass up in the air mournfully. "I don't want to be anyone's whore, much less Nick's."

"What do you call what you're doing with him, then?"

"Well, yes, I AM acting like his whore," Jennifer threw the wineglass down on the carpet, making a face when it didn't even break. "I just don't want to be."

"Ok," Carly sat up on the bed and looked at Jen. "Now we're getting somewhere. What do you want?"

"I want...." Jennifer started giggling and wrapped her arms around herself. "I want a big strong romantic man to come and sweep me away and tell me he loves me."

"Nick's two doors down." Carly replied with a shrug.

"Nick isn't going to tell me he loves me, and I don't want him to," Jennifer shook her head stubbornly. Kevin would kill Nick if he ever found out they were sleeping together, but if they actually started to care?! That would be disastrous...

"No?"

"No." Jen repeated, emphasizing her word with a nod of her head. Although she wasn't exactly convincing herself...

"You want Nick though, I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him."

"I'm extremely attracted to him, yeah," Jennifer confessed, wrapping her arms around herself tight as she shivered at the thought of him. "I've never been with anyone like him, it's sick, this power he has over me..."

"If you just want to fuck him, it sounds like he has no problem with that," Carly said matter-of-factly. "Not if he's happily calling you his whore."

"But I have a problem with it. Lying to Kevin is starting to get to me," Jennifer said with a guilty frown. "He loves Nicky so much, he'd kill me if he ever found out."

"So stop. It's that simple," Carly replied, her eyes widening as a knock sounded on the door. "Now who could that be..."

"Get it?" Jennifer asked hopefully, rolling her eyes when Carly shook her head.

"There isn't a chance in hell whoever is at that door is there for me, it's all yours, babe." Carly said with a wave at the door. "Go get."

Jennifer got out of bed with a frown, pulling her nightshirt down as she walked to the door and opened it. "Hey Kevin."

Kevin was standing there with a grin on his face, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the hall the second he saw her. "You got your key?"

"Wait," Jen grabbed her key from inside the room before following Kevin, laughing at Carly's shout of "I told you so," as she closed the door behind her. "What's up?"

"Brian and I were channel flipping, guess what came on?" He pushed her inside his room with a laugh, pointing at the television. "Do you remember?"

Jennifer sat down on the bed next to Brian and looked at the television, laughing when she saw what he was staring at. "Dallas! How could I ever forget!" The three of them had all gotten chicken pox at the same time in school, and had spent one very long week together at Jen's house so Brian and Kevin's brothers didn't get sick. The first night together, they'd seen an episode of Dallas, and Kevin had decided on the spot he was JR, and spent the rest of the week living in a fantasy world. "Bobby, were you?" she looked at Brian with a smirk.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, tipping his hand to his head as if he were wearing a cowboy hat. "And how are you, Sue Ellen?"

"Missing my boys," Jennifer replied woefully, giggling when Brian pulled her into a hug. "Was I Sue Ellen? I thought I was Charlie?"

"No, you were married to me," Kevin sat down next to her on the bed, smiling at her wrapped in Brian's arms. "You weren't my whore, I wouldn't do that to you."

Jen froze at Kevin's choice of words, and she stared at him, wondering what he'd say if she told him Nick had done just that to her. "Right...Sue Ellen..."

"Remember, you and Kevin were gonna get married when you turned 18?" Brian reminded them, laughing when Jennifer wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You had such a crush...."

"I did not, you liked playing minister and marrying us! It was always your idea!" Jennifer protested, pushing Brian away from her on the bed and turning to Kevin. "You remember, right?"

"I remember a lot of things," Kevin said cautiously, pulling her to him and pushing her hair away from her face. "We were kids."

"I never had a crush on you," Jennifer told Kevin firmly, looking into his green eyes and frowning when she saw them narrow at her questioningly. "What? I had a crush on Brian at one point, I distinctly remember that..."

"Yeah, but that was perverse," Brian stood up with a laugh as the episode of Dallas ended. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'll see you two in the morning."

"Night, cuz," Kevin called after Brian, watching as the door closed behind him. "You really think you never had a crush on me?" He asked Jennifer softly, looking at her.

"I didn't," She replied softly, snuggling into his arms. "What?"

"Jenny Lynn," Kevin rolled over on the bed, sliding his leg between hers, his arms pulling her close to him. "Do you not remember?"

"That had nothing to do with any crush," Jennifer shook her head against his chest, wondering how on earth they'd ended up having this conversation. "That was a scared 15 year old who really wanted to lose her virginity to a guy she trusted." And she did....she just didn't know for the life of her why Kevin suddenly wanted to talk about it now. It was something she wanted to forget, and had spent over 10 years working at doing just that. In over twenty years of friendship, they crossed that line, once. It was a scar that would stay with her forever, and one she didn't need to think about, not now, when her mind was already so focused on Nick.

"That was very special," Kevin said softly, his hand tangling through her hair. "Do you remember?"

"How could I ever forget, Kevin? It was my first time," Jennifer leaned her head on his chest, smiling as she felt his other hand rub over her belly. "It was wonderful." The event itself, yeah, it had been wonderful. Kevin was her best friend, her whole world, and when he'd suddenly started acting like a man, god, it had been one of the most amazing experiences of her life. He'd introduced her to sex, and then he'd gone away, never knowing what he'd left behind. And he would never know...

"Best you ever had, I bet," he said in a boasting tone, wiggling his hips against hers on the bed.

Jennifer snickered and smacked his rear, feeling tempted, just for a moment, to tell him who the best she ever had REALLY was. Wouldn't that blow his mind... "yeah, right, Smartass."

"What?"

"Kevin, you were good, but you were only 18. I like to think you've gotten a lot better since then, otherwise, poor Kristen," Jennifer shook her head consolingly, unable to keep a straight face when Kevin's face flushed red. "Aww, you don't like your manhood being challenged?"

"If I didn't have a ring on my finger, I'd throw you down right now and show you how wrong you were," Kevin told her firmly, before reaching over and turning out the light. "Now go to sleep."

"Even without the ring, I'm not interested, Richie boy," Jennifer giggled, pulling the blankets up around them with a sigh. "But goodnight, Kevin. Thanks for the memories, really."

"My pleasure," he replied, curling up into her on the bed, thinking about how wrong he'd been about Jennifer being on tour. Everything was working out just fine.



Jennifer felt, more than saw, a flash of light around her, and she opened her eyes cautiously, frowning when she recognized Brian standing in front of the bed. "What are you doing?"

Brian grinned and lifted the camera to his eye again, quickly snapping two more pictures before speaking. "I couldn't resist the photo op, you two looked far too adorable when I left last night."

"Thanks, cuz," Kevin frowned, rolling over on his side and snuggling his head into Jen's neck. "Go away," he mumbled, his body pressing up against hers on the bed comfortingly.

"Hey, why's your door wide open?" Nick walked into the room, looking curiously at Brian holding the camera.

Brian pointed at Kevin and Jennifer snuggled up on the bed, laughing when Kevin growled at them to get out. "He's not a happy camper."

Nick's eyes narrowed at the sight of Jen curled up in Kevin's arms, and he bit his lip hard before turning back to Brian. "You taking pictures?"

"Yup." Brian snapped a picture of Nick, the angry expression on his face forever captured on film. "What's with you?"

"I want breakfast," he shrugged, shooting another glance at Jennifer, who seemed completely unaware of his presence, her eyes shut, her head on Kevin's chest.

"Let's go, then," Brian replied, and followed Nick out the door, closing it firmly behind them.

"Wanna lock it this time?" Jennifer suggested to Kevin helpfully, relieved Nick had left without saying anything. She'd been painfully aware of him being in the room from the second he walked in, and hadn't opened her eyes, not knowing what she'd see if she looked at him. Not knowing what she'd feel, either...

"Frick and Frack," Kevin sighed, running his hands through Jen's hair. "Remember Brian before Nick?"

"I'd rather not," Jennifer giggled, squirming when Kevin tickled the back of her neck. "I really can't picture him as a minister, I know it's who he would have become, but, I really can't....not with some of the things he's done..."

Kevin smiled and pressed a finger to Jen's lips, silencing her. "Now, some things, we just shouldn't ever repeat, Jenny Lynn."

"Hey, us Southern girls, we know all about secrets. You know a family that doesn't have at least one, Kev?" Jennifer put on her heaviest twang as her eyes twinkled. "I do seem to recall some things round the way about that Richardson boy getting his varsity butt caught out on Lovers Lane with, wait, could it be, Mary Jo Donnelly? And, wait, was it not true that her little sister SUZY was in the back seat of the car at the time?"

"Suzie was NOT there," Kevin protested, "Mary Jo made that up to try to calm her mom down."

"Oh, because thinking her little sister was there while she was sleeping with the local jock would be a good thing for her mom," Jennifer laughed. "You were fun in high school, Kevin."

"Yeah, so were you," Kevin replied, looking at the clock across the room. "We need to get up," he said with a frown, sitting up in bed. "Then we should go get that film from Brian."

Jennifer laughed, agreeing with him completely. "You're on."
Chapter 13 by old_archive
"Jennifer Lynn Mitchell, where the hell are you!!"

Jennifer looked up from her spot in Nick's arms at the shout from Kevin, seeing him walking down the rows of the arena, Kristen's hand in his. "Kristen!" She shouted happily, disengaging herself from Nick and jumping down off the stage, running to her and grabbing her in a tight hug. "How are you?"

"Doing great, how are you?" Kristen returned the hug with a smile, looking her over carefully. "These boys aren't working you too hard, are they?"

"They're big pussycats, really, I swear," Jennifer told her in a hushed tone, laughing when Kevin smacked her head in argument. "See, he can't even hit hard."

"Darlin, I'm not hitting a woman, ever, don't tempt me to do it just to prove a point." Kevin warned her before jumping up to the stage, leaving the two women alone.

"He's a big baby." Jennifer shook her head before sitting down in a seat, pointing for Kristen to do the same. "How was your flight? Everything ok?"

"No complaints," She sat down and smiled at Jennifer, smoothing her hair over shoulder. "And you? Now that Kevin's not here? They're not working you too hard?"

Jennifer laughed, shaking her head again. "Really they're not. It is a lot harder than the NSYNC tour ever was, I'll give you that, but that's more the style of dancing. I'm a lot more involved in their show than I ever was the NSYNC show."

"And you dance with Nicky?"

"I dance with all the guys, but Nick's my main partner, yeah," Jennifer nodded, watching Nick practicing on the stage. "He's fun to dance with."

"Kevin ever tell you about Nick?" Kristen asked her softly, noticing who she was looking at.

Jennifer's gaze dropped to the floor, and she shook her head slowly. "No, Brian did...a little too late..."

Kristen's eyes widened, and she put her hand on Jen's knee consolingly. "We need to talk, I think, but not now, and not here. Tomorrow night, after the concert, we'll find a bar or something, just the two of us. Ok?"

Jennifer nodded, feeling tears spring to her eyes when Kristen hugged her tight. The older woman had always been like a big sister to her, and she'd always looked up to her. Anyone who could capture Kevin's heart had to be an amazing person in her book, right? "Thanks."

"That's what I'm here for, Jen, to fix Kevin's mess. I always do," Kristen smiled, rubbing her back with a sigh. What a mess Kevin had made for himself this time. And as always, he didn't even know it...



Jennifer froze at the sound of the knock on the door, with Kristen in town, there was only one person that could be. "Fuck," she cursed, rolling over in bed and batting her eyes at Carly.

"Don't even try it," Carly said, pulling her covers over her head. "And take your key, and turn out the light as you go, will you?"

"Bitch," Jen muttered, getting out of bed with a frown and grabbing her key, obligingly flicking off the light as she opened the door. "Hi, Nick."

Nick's eyes lit up at the sight of Jen in her nightshirt, the big cow smack on her tummy. "Hey..."

"I don't want to be your whore," Jennifer said softly, closing the door in his face.

"Wait," Nick stuck his hand in the door and pushed it open, taking her hand and dragging her into the hall. "Come talk to me."

"Nick..."

"Just go!" Carly shouted at her from inside the room. "Some of us want to get some sleep!"

"She knows what's best for you," Nick grinned, pulling on her hand playfully. "Come on..."

"Ok..." Against her better judgment, Jennifer followed Nick down the hall and into his room, sitting down on the couch next to him. She looked at him curiously, wondering what he had to say.

Nick took a deep breath and turned to her, pushing a stray lock of hair out of her face as he spoke, his eyes gazing into hers. "Jenny, I know I made you feel like shit the other day, I'm so sorry for that. I didn't mean to, I swear..."

Jennifer frowned and bit her lip, feeling tears come to her eyes at his words. Ok, now this wasn't supposed to happen... "you did make me feel like shit."

"I just, I wanted you, I always have, I still want you, and I didn't know how else to let you know," Nick ran his finger down her arm, bending his head closer to her when she shuddered under his touch. "I wanted you to be mine, not Kevin's...that was the only way I knew how..."

"I'm not Kevin's," Jennifer said softly, her gaze dropping to her lap, unable to take the expression in Nick's eyes anymore.

"But will you be mine?" Nick asked her, before bending his head and kissing her gently, his lips just barely brushing over hers.

"Not your whore..." Jennifer breathed, recognizing the now all too familiar rush as Nick's lips began trailing down her neck.

"Not my whore," he agreed, licking the sensitive skin behind her ear until she squirmed. "More than that."

"How much more?" Jennifer asked, laughing when he rolled on top of her with a smirk.

"Oh, so much more...." Nick replied, bending down and kissing her again, feeling her hips push up into him. "Didn't Kevin ever tell you how much I've always liked you?"

"Nope," Jennifer shook her head rapidly, laughing when Nick groaned. "What?"

"I thought you knew, everyone always knew." Nick slid one hand under her nightshirt, smiling when she arched up into his fingers. "Well, I always have...I told Brian the day I met you that I was gonna steal you away from Kevin someday."

Jennifer stared at Nick as he deftly removed her nightshirt, leaving her wearing only her panties beneath him. "Steal me away from Kevin."

"I was young, I thought since you were friends, you had to be together," Nick replied, before shaking his head. "Can we please stop talking about Kevin?"

"Nick, wait, he can't know..." Jennifer gasped and sat up, shaking her head. "What am I doing...I can't ever be more than your whore."

"Sure you can," Nick disagreed, pushing her back down onto the bed. "What you are to me is what you feel inside, and what I feel inside. You're not my whore, baby, ok?"

"No?"

"Never," Nick said softly, kissing her until he felt her relax under him. "But will you be my Jenny? At least to me?"

"Your Jenny, that I can be."

"Cool. Nick's Jenny."

Jennifer wrapped her arms around Nick's neck and lost herself in him, feeling like nothing could be wrong in the world. She didn't know why, but it just sounded right, and it felt so good, hearing him say those words. Nick's Jenny. Not his whore.

Now that was her.



"AJ suggested this place," Kristen held open the door to the small bar and waved Jennifer in, following close behind. "He said it would be a good place for two ladies to hang out and talk without getting bothered."

Jennifer walked inside the bar and stopped dead in her tracks, laughing as she took in the scenery. Judy Garland records hanging on the wall, Barbara Streisand playing, men everywhere... "Of course, he sends us to a gay bar," she giggled, making her way to a booth and sitting down.

"We should take him to Henrietta Hudson's next time we're in New York City," Kristen suggested, laughing when Jen clapped in agreement.

"AJ in a lesbian bar, that would be a sight to see, it's a date." Jennifer grinned, ordering a beer when the waiter came over.

"Should we do a shot?" Kristen asked her, wiggling her eyebrows. "Girls night out, and all?"

"Why not," Jen agreed with a shrug, smiling at the cute waiter.

Three lemondrops and two beers later apiece, the two were giggling away over all of the beautiful men in the bar, Jennifer lamenting over how they all weren't the slightest bit interested in her. "You think AJ intentionally sent us here knowing I'd be drooling all night?" She asked Kristen, her eyes widening as another beautiful rear walked by.

"Me too," Kristen licked her lips as a man across the room started dancing seductively to the music on the jukebox. "Now if only Kevin could move like that..."

"He tries," Jennifer giggled, taking another sip of her beer. "At least he tries."

"You should get up and show this guy how it's done," Kristen gestured to Jennifer, wiggling her hips. "You're the amazing dancer of the bunch, right?"

"I dance enough every day," Jennifer shook her head, watching as another man joined the one currently dancing around. "And he's got a partner."

"Aah, yes, I can't believe I almost forgot," Kristen waved to the waiter to bring them another shot, making sure they both drank it down before asking. "Now that you can't see straight. Nicky. Spill."

Jennifer licked the remnants of the flavored vodka off of her lips before replying. "I think I'm really falling for Nick."

Kristen's eyes widened dramatically, and she sat up straight, looking at the younger woman in amazement. "Really?"

"Really." Jennifer nodded rapidly, giggling when the room spun. Ever since last night when she'd become "Nick's Jenny," she'd decided she really liked that feeling. And what Kevin didn't know, wouldn't hurt him, right?

"So you said Brian did tell you about the way he feels about you, right?"

"He told me, and then Nick told me last night," Jennifer smiled, remembering their conversation the night before. "But Kevin doesn't know anything's going on...please don't tell him."

"Jesus, Jen, I wouldn't, but he's going to freak when he finds out," Kristen shook her head slowly in warning. "Are you sure you want to do this? You and Nick could both get really hurt here."

"What do you think Kevin would say if we told him? Went to him, say we cared about each other?" Jennifer asked hopefully. She'd been thinking about that too...just confronting Kevin with the whole thing.

"I think you should save that for the day Nick puts a ring on your finger," Kristen advised. "I don't know exactly what it is about Kevin and you, but he doesn't want any of his friends anywhere near you. And I know for a fact that Nick tops that list."

"But it's silly, you know that," Jen finished off her beer with a sigh. "God knows I didn't mean to fall for Nick, but I did...what can I say, I really like being with him."

"It's not me you need to convince, I'm afraid," Kristen stood up and pulled Jennifer into a hug. "Enjoy yourself with Nick, and just be careful, ok? I don't want to see any of you getting hurt."

"Thanks," Jennifer returned the hug, glad she'd been able to talk to the older woman. She'd been ready to go storming into Kevin's room and tell him about Nick, and Kristen was right, that would be a horrible idea. They'd been pretty good at keeping their affair from Kevin so far, how hard could it be now that they were finally admitting they had a relationship to hide?
Chapter 14 by old_archive
"Ask me something about myself," Nick commanded, rolling over onto his side and running a finger down Jennifer's stomach with a grin.

"What?" Jen watched his finger trace a circle around her bellybutton before making its way back up over her chest, gliding over her nipples before ending up in her mouth, and she happily sucked on it, her tongue swirling around his fingertip.

"I want to get to know everything about you...so ask me something, then I get to ask you something." He told her, pulling his finger out of her mouth and replacing it with his tongue. He was very much enjoying Kristen being in town, since they knew Kevin would be occupied, they didn't have to worry about being caught together. "Anything."

"Um..." Jennifer giggled and shrugged. "What's your favorite color?"

Nick made a face and tickled her, shaking his head. "Green, but that's not the kind of question I mean."

"Like what, then? Your turn." She smiled up at him, kissing his chest. "Ask me something."

"Let's see," Nick tangled his hands in her hair, playing with the blond curls. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"15." Jennifer replied, snuggling closer to his body, loving the feel of his warmth pressed tight against her.

"Your turn."

"Um...who's your favorite band?"

"You are so not getting it," Nick complained, yanking on her hair playfully.

"Answer me!" She insisted with a smile. "I asked a question, I want an answer."

"Journey."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He kissed her again, laughing when she pulled away. "What?"

"Your turn, right?"

"Oh, yup," Nick smiled, and thought of another question. He was asked questions in interviews all day long, it didn't take long before he figured out the good ones and the bad ones. "Let's see, what's the worst thing you ever did?"

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she tensed in Nick's arms. "The worst thing I ever did?" she repeated softly, staring up at him, a strange expression on his face.

"Yup." Nick's arms tightened around her, and he grinned. "I want to know all of your dirty secrets."

"I don't know if you really want to know mine, Nick," she shook her head slowly, feeling his hands rub her back consolingly.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," Nick told her, looking at her closely. "Come on, Jenny, how bad could it be."

"I had an abortion," she said softly, her eyes filling with tears at the look on his face. "I know, it's awful, you probably hate me for it..."

"No, baby," Nick said quickly, pulling her closer to him and kissing her lips softly. "I would never hate you."

"I hate me for doing it," Jennifer blinked rapidly, her vision blurring through the tears forming in her eyes. She had never, ever, talked about this, not with anyone...why Nick...why now?

"Why did you?"

Jennifer sighed, the reasons she'd done it were something she'd gone over a million times before doing it, and a few trillion since. It was the hardest, the worst decision she'd ever had to make in her life, but she fully believed she'd done the right thing then, under the circumstances at the time. "I was still in high school, it was an accident...I was in no way prepared to raise a baby." She snorted softly, looking at Nick. "Try to picture me as a mom now."

Nick snickered and wrapped his arms around her tighter. "You're not exactly the motherly type." The sex kitten type, yes. Mother, no.

"Now try to picture me as a mom ten years ago," Jennifer continued, nodding when Nick's face softened as he understood her point. "No way could I have had a baby."

"What about the father?" He asked her, wiping away a tear that fell down her cheek at the question.

"He never knew..." Jennifer's voice fell to a whisper as she explained. "We weren't dating or anything, we'd just slept together because I wanted to lose my virginity. He was graduating and going away, he didn't want a baby, or me...not like that..."

"So you never told him?"

"Nope," Jennifer replied with a soft shake of her head. She didn't regret that decision either, she knew every day she'd made the right one not telling him. It would have changed everything, if he'd known. And he was better off this way...so was she.

"Wow." Nick shook his head, processing all the information he'd been given. "You were only 15? That had to have been awful."

"It was..."

"How could he not have noticed something was going on with you?" Nick asked, unable to let the idea of this guy go. What kind of jerk would go and get Jen pregnant, then leave her? How could he have not known, even if she hadn't told him?

"I'm a good liar," Jennifer shrugged. At least, she was great at lying to Kevin, apparently, for the second time in her life, she was pulling quite a doozy over on him with her relationship with Nick, wasn't she. "So, um, what's the worst thing you ever did?" She asked him, desperate for a change of subject.

Nick smiled lightly before kissing her nose. "Told the woman I was falling in love with that she was my whore."

Jennifer gasped and looked up at him in surprise. "You..."

"Yeah, baby, I'm falling in love with you. Or I've fallen, I think. That ok?" He asked, rolling over on top of her and kissing her deeply.

Jennifer locked her arms around his neck and grinned, returning the kiss happily. "Yeah, Nicky, I think that's quite all right with me."



"How's this?" Carly held a miniskirt up to her waist and posed for Jennifer. They were finally going clubbing with AJ, he'd managed to arrange for a night out when there wasn't a road trip to get in the way.

"Looks good," Jennifer looked over the skirt and nodded. "This ok?" She twirled around in her dress, wiggling her hips for Carly.

"Perfect," Carly pulled on the skirt with a grin, before narrowing her eyes at Jen. "Although, why don't you wear heels."

"Heels?" Jennifer raised an eyebrow at Carly suspiciously. "I wear heels, I'm the same height as Kevin and Nick, kinda makes dancing with AJ awkward."

"Isn't that the idea?" Carly pulled open the mini bar with a giggle, looking inside. "What do you want to drink?"

"Nothing," Jennifer slipped on a pair of flats and checked her makeup in the mirror one last time. "I'm sure I'll drink more than enough at the club."

"This will be fun," Carly proclaimed, pulling out a bottle of water and taking a deep gulp. "You and Nicky, me and AJ," she waggled her eyebrows at Jen.

"Very funny," Jennifer shook her head and pushed Carly out the door. "Come on, let's go."

Carly danced down the hallway to AJ's room before banging on the door. "The entertainment has arrived!!!!"

AJ opened the door with a howl, "the strippers are here, boys!!"

Carly grinned widely and spun into the room, teasing her miniskirt around her legs. "I don't think you can afford me, babe."

Jennifer walked into the room behind Carly, shaking her head slowly. "She's insane," she apologized, sitting down on the bed next to Brian. "How are you?"

Brian laughed at Carly's antics before replying, "Doing fine...not coming tonight."

"No? Not up for clubbing?" Carly grabbed Brian's hands with a pout, trying to pull him off the bed.

"Brian would rather spend the night in his room with spectravision, go fig," Nick offered with a smirk.

"No, thanks," Brian smiled. "I'm sure you'll have your hands full with the rest of the guys, don't worry."

"Sure she will," AJ grabbed Carly in a hug, beaming when she squealed. "My hands are gonna be full too, I bet."

Carly shot a look at Jennifer before turning to AJ and saying coyly, "I know exactly where you can put those hands, big boy..."

AJ's mouth dropped open in surprise, and he fanned himself off before shaking his head. "I think we'd better get to the club before we set this hotel on fire, gang..."

Jennifer stood up with a grin, waving to the bathroom. "Cold showers, that way."

"No cold showers, we're just gonna get hotter and hotter, baby."
Chapter 15 by old_archive
A few hours later, Jennifer could have sworn she was in heaven. The club AJ had picked was dark, smoky, and hot, with a crowded dance floor, not leaving very much room to maneuver. And as Nick and Jen had promptly figured out, also not leaving very much room for anyone to see anyone else. The two of them had claimed a spot on the floor early in the night, and spent most of the evening there, grinding together in time to the music, without a care in the world.

"Do you think AJ's gonna want to leave soon?" Nick asked Jennifer, smiling as he felt her hands trail over his butt to pull him towards her.

"I hope so," Jennifer replied with a grin, leaning into him. She had been having a wonderful time, dancing with Nick, but now she wanted to do something else... "I have plans for you..."

"Oh, do you?" Nick groaned with pleasure when he felt her hands run over him. "Baby...you drive me crazy..."

"Good," Jennifer smiled, bending her head and kissing Nick's neck quickly. As long as they were careful, Kevin would never know....they were just dancing...right?

"God," Nick's arms clasped around her waist, pulling her body tight against his, his length pressing firmly into her through their clothing. "I want you now..." All night long he'd been dying to kiss her, bury himself in her...

"Gotta wait," She smiled slyly, rotating her hips against Nick, knowing exactly what she was doing to him. "Soon..."

Nick's eyes glazed over and he shook his head, grabbing her head in his hands. "Now," he argued, before bringing his lips down upon hers, kissing her deeply.

"Nick..." Jennifer gasped, feeling his tongue invade her mouth, sending shock waves through her body. They were gonna get caught...

Nick didn't hear her, he was lost in the sensations of her tongue against his, her hair in his hands, the smell of her skin against his. Never in his life had he ever wanted, needed, another person so badly...

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!"

Jennifer and Nick jumped apart at Kevin's angry shout, both of them staring at him in horror.

"Uh, Kevin..." Jennifer stammered, her eyes growing wide as Kevin grabbed Nick's arm and roughly shoved him away from her, sending him flying. "Stop!"

"Dude, relax," AJ hissed at Kevin before helping a stunned Nick up off the floor.

"What?" Kevin glared at Jen, his green eyes blazing with anger. "What were you doing?"

"Can't a girl just be horny, Kev?" Jennifer asked him with a sneer.

"Not with Nick!" Kevin shouted at her, his hands waving around him in his frustration. "And not you!!"

Jennifer's mind raced as she tried to figure out some way to salvage the situation, her eyes narrowing when her gaze fell on AJ. Now that would work....she quickly walked over to AJ and cupped his face in his hands, kissing him before he could fully comprehend what she was doing. Much to her surprise, his hands quickly came up to tangle in her hair, his tongue invading her mouth.

Nick's mouth dropped open as he saw Jennifer kiss AJ, his expression turning to anger when AJ began returning the kiss enthusiastically, his body pressing tight into hers. Ok, he understood her doing it to make a point, but... "What the fuck...."

"Off!" Kevin growled, yanking AJ away from Jennifer with a frown. "This isn't funny, Jen." He glared at her, not understanding what she was doing.

"No, it's not, Kevin." She wiped off her mouth on the back of her hand and stomped out of the club, not surprised to find him following on her heels. "WHAT?" Once she was outside, she whirled around to stare at him, shaking her head over the expression on his face.

"You and Nick...tell me I didn't see what I thought I saw." Kevin said to her slowly, his voice stern. "And I don't know what the fuck you just did with AJ."

"You saw me and Nick dancing, and I did what I did with AJ to prove a point." Jennifer rolled her eyes. "You are a freak, and you're overreacting. Don't Nick and AJ have a right to do what they want? Don't I?"

"You are MY best friend, and you will do what I tell you to!" Kevin argued with her, frowning when she turned away from him to walk to the car. "What?"

"You need to calm the fuck down, Kevin," Jennifer shook her head angrily. "Since when have I ever done what you told me to?"

"I always tell you what to do..." Kevin argued.

"And do I EVER listen?" She replied with a smirk, laughing when his face fell. "See? This is why you married Kristen. She actually listens to you. Now, will you go back into that club and find her before she thinks you deserted her?"

Kevin looked around them in surprise, realizing for the first time he'd left his wife inside the club alone. "Oh. Ok. I'll be right back, Jenny Lynn."

"Take your time, Richie."



Jennifer sat in the van for the ride back to the hotel next to Carly in silence, trying to ignore the glares she was getting from Kevin, Nick, and now AJ. When they finally arrived, she ran upstairs as quickly as she could, blessing the fans outside for converging on the guys and stopping them.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Carly asked, laughing when Jen threw herself onto her bed with a groan.

Jennifer buried her head in the pillow and screamed, not knowing how else to react to the mess she'd made.

"Now there's a comment," Carly sat down on her bed with a smirk, crossing her legs under her. "So? I saw you and Kevin screaming at each other in the parking lot...what brought that on?"

Jennifer rolled over onto her back, shaking her head sadly. "You know, I'd actually started to convince myself that if Nick and I sat Kevin down, told him that we wanted to be together, that he would be ok with it, see things rationally."

"I'm guessing you discovered otherwise?"

Jennifer snorted, "you could definitely say that. Kevin came up on me and Nick kissing, and totally freaked. He threw Nick to the floor, Carly, I seriously thought he was going to hurt him!"

"Oh wow," Carly's eyes widened. "And I missed this?"

"Very funny," Jennifer grabbed a ponytail holder off of the table, pulling her hair up and out of her face. "Anyway, I didn't know what else to do, so...I kissed AJ."

Carly hooted with laughter, falling back on the bed and grabbing her stomach. "Wait, let me get this, Kevin's pissed because you're kissing Nick, so you go and kiss AJ?"

Jennifer was not pleased with her friend's happy reaction. "It was the only thing I could think of doing! I just didn't expect AJ to kiss me back!"

Carly sat up straight on the bed and stared at her friend. "You actually made out with Bone? Oh babe, spill, you know I've been dying for details on this."

"Ok, you're missing the point here," Jennifer groaned, throwing a pillow at Carly. "AJ kissed me back, Kevin pulled HIM away from me, and then we started yelling at each other."

"So now either Kevin thinks you're just hitting on all of his friends, or he's figured out that you're just trying to protect Nick."

"Yeah." Jennifer sighed.

"And what does AJ think?"

"I'm hoping both AJ and Kevin think I was really drunk, and leave it at that."

"You didn't drink a thing."

Jennifer shrugged, "they don't know that."

Carly started laughing at the knock on the door, smiling at Jen's discomfort. "Who do you think that is? A booty call from AJ or Nick, an angry Kevin, oh the possibilities..."

"Shut the fuck up," Jennifer grumbled, before getting up to open the door, finding a very red faced Nick on the other side. "Hey.."

"Come to my room?" Nick couldn't help but glance around the hall to make sure they were alone as he asked her. Kevin had been so angry...he hadn't expected that...

"Yeah," Jennifer stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her, figuring Carly would figure out what she'd done soon enough. She followed Nick into his room and sat down on the bed next to him, her heart breaking at the frown on his face. "Nicky, I'm so sorry about tonight..."

"It's not your fault," Nick told her with a sad sigh, pulling her into his arms. "Although I'm not quite sure why you kissed AJ..." Seeing her with AJ's hands all over her, his lips on hers, that had been awful, and he'd been rather glad when Kevin had put an end to it. Nick's Jenny wasn't supposed to be kissing AJ...

"I didn't know what else to do," Jennifer snuggled into his embrace, wondering how on earth this could be so wrong, when it felt so right. "Kevin scared the shit out of me when he grabbed you like that."

"Me too," Nick said softly, rubbing her back. "You and Kevin...Jenny...did you ever...you didn't, did you?" He kissed her hair, praying the answer would be no. He didn't know why it was so important, but it was....he needed to know she was his, and only his, in that respect. Not Kevin's.

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she looked up at Nick, wondering what his reasons for asking were. "What?"

"You guys are such good friends, why didn't you ever try being more?" Nick asked, needing to know the answer. He couldn't keep his hands off of her, AJ couldn't either, he didn't understand how come Kevin could.

"We'd kill each other," Jennifer snickered. "You see how we fight, imagine if we were dating? It would never work." She wasn't exactly telling a lie, right? Just omitting some critical information....but something about the look in Nick's eyes when he asked her, she just couldn't tell him the truth.

"Good," Nick smiled, kissing her forehead. "So you're all mine."

Jennifer nodded, raising her lips to his for another kiss. "I feel horrible keeping this from Kevin, though."

"Maybe before we start the second leg of the tour?" Nick suggested. "We'll be home for two months in between, give him some time to get used to the idea?"

"If we're still together?" Jennifer cracked, laughing when Nick's face fell. "What?"

"I don't plan on letting you go, Jennifer," he told her solemnly. "Not when this tour is over, not ever."

"Not ever?" Jennifer couldn't help but smile at the serious expression on Nick's face.

"I love you, Jenny Lynn, don't you get that?" Nick asked, his brow wrinkling when she made a face. "What?"

"Kevin calls me Jenny Lynn..." Jennifer frowned. Only Kevin....it wasn't like she LIKED the nickname, anyway.

"I love you, Jennifer." Nick repeated with a smile. "Better? Jenny?"

"Much," she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I love you too, Nick Carter. God help us all."

Nick started laughing and rolled over on the bed, giggling as he agreed with her. "Oh no, Jennifer's in love. God help us all."
Chapter 16 by old_archive
Carly soon became an unwilling co-conspirator in Jennifer and Nick's affair, covering for Jen when Kevin would come by the room looking for her and she wasn't there. "I'm getting really sick of doing this," she told them in frustration, yet another morning when Kevin had come looking for Jen.

"One more month, once we're back in Florida, we'll tell him," Jennifer reassured Carly, following her out of Nick's room and back down the hall. "Thank you for getting me."

"I can't believe what a lucky girl you are that he hasn't figured it out yet," she shook her head, watching as Jennifer quickly changed her clothes. "Or smelled Nick on you, even."

"Very funny," Jennifer quickly ran a brush through her hair before heading back out to Kevin's room, knocking on the door.

"Hey," Kevin waved her in with a smile. "You were in the shower? Your hair's dry."

"Blowdriers do wonders," Jennifer shrugged, sitting down on the couch and looking at him. "What's up?"

Kevin sat down next to her and took her hand, looking at her closely. "Are you mad at me or something?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, eyes wide in surprise.

"You haven't been staying with me very often lately..." he said softly, his green eyes growing sad as he spoke. "I feel like we're growing apart."

"Oh, Kevin..." Jennifer's eyes filled with tears, and she pulled him into a hug. "Not at all..." she'd just been spending more and more time with Nick...

"I know I really pissed you off when I freaked out on Nick and AJ like that, but you know it's just because I think you can do so much better," Kevin told her softly, his arms wrapping tightly around her back. "I don't want to see you hurt by one of them, I know how they treat women. I would kill them if I saw them doing that to you."

Jennifer bit her lip and fought back a sob, wishing the tour would hurry up and end so she could tell him the truth. "I know," she said softly, "I acted pretty stupid then too."

"Kissing Nick and AJ both? You definitely surprised me," Kevin chuckled softly. "I think I was even a little jealous."

"Oh, now you flatter me," Jennifer laughed and smacked at his chest. "I was just trying to get you mad. I seem to do stupid things to piss you off a lot, don't I."

"You always have, and you always will, Jenny Lynn," Kevin was glad nothing seemed to be wrong. Things still felt wrong, but he couldn't figure out why... "Are you sure everything's ok?"

"Yup." Jennifer snuggled closer into his arms, smiling when he pulled her legs up onto his lap. "Some time off will be nice, though."

"What are you going to do? Have you decided yet?" Kevin asked, rubbing his hands over her legs with a smile.

"Not sure yet," Jennifer replied nonchalantly. She'd discussed a few possibilities for the break with Nick, all of which involved the two of them together. They just weren't quite sure when they were going to tell Kevin about them, which limited where they could go. "I kind of want to go home for a while, spend some time in Kentucky." And she'd wanted to show Nick the place where she grew up.

"Now that would be great," Kevin grinned from ear to ear. "Kristen and I are gonna be there, we can try to convince Brian and Leighanne to come, have a big old fashioned family barbecue."

Jennifer was unable to stop from smiling at the happy expression on Kevin's face. All he ever wanted was his family and friends around him, happy. Why couldn't he understand that nothing would make her happier than being able to be with Nick? "Sure, it'll be fun." Actually...a family barbecue, huh? "You going to invite your mother?"

"Mom would love to see you, if you'd promise to come," Kevin said hesitantly. His mother had been one to Jennifer as well when they were children, but as she'd grown up, the two had become friends. Over the last few years, they'd often conspired to find new and cruel ways to teach him some lesson or another. Anne Richardson, of all people, understood the frustrations Jennifer felt from being Kevin's best friend.

"Oh, I'll come." Jennifer nodded for emphasis. And she'd bring Nick. Anne would be on her side, she was sure about that...and Kevin wouldn't dare take a swing at Nick with his mother there...would he?



"They're revolutionaries, Brian," Nick groaned, trying yet again to unsuccessfully explain to Brian the various factions involved in Gundam Wing. "But they're working from the inside..."

"So we're rooting for them?" Brian asked, his eyes narrowing at the battle taking place on screen. "I thought we liked her?"

"There are, what, 5 different groups, Brian," Jennifer tried to explain, "you can't hate them all."

"Exactly," Nick tightened his arms around Jen, laughing when she squirmed. "Relax."

Jennifer couldn't relax. Snuggling up with Nick for Gundam had become traditional for them, but her conscience was still bugging her about her conversation with Kevin that morning. As much as she loved Nick, Kevin was her best friend in the world, her family, and she prayed the day would never come when she would have to make a choice between them. If it happened, she didn't know what she would do... She saw Nick pick up a blanket and spread it over them, shooting a warning glance at him as his legs wrapped around her waist. "Watch it, Nicky," she whispered.

"Brian's sitting right here, I'm not gonna do anything," Nick whispered in her ear. "Just this..." his hands slid under her shirt, his palms hot against her bare skin. "I just want to touch you..."

Jennifer leaned back against Nick's chest, crossing her arms over his on her stomach. It did feel so good...just his hands touching her skin...she sighed happily and concentrated on the television, blocking out Nick's running commentary to Brian.

Nick traced circles across Jen's skin with his fingers as he talked to Brian, wishing his friend would leave them alone. They'd gotten surprisingly good at keeping quiet, he was going to have to bronze this blanket someday in effigy or something. "You don't like this in the slightest, do you?" he finally asked, wondering why Brian had spent the entire tour trying to hard to understand something he clearly didn't like.

Brian started laughing and shrugged. "But you and Jenny do, and it's something to do on the bus, right?"

"Nick likes a lot of strange things, Brian, I wouldn't try to figure it all out," AJ warned, tossing a magazine at him. "Rolling Stone's a lot easier to understand."

"Gundam's not so bad!" Jennifer piped up, smiling when Nick's hands tightened around her waist in reaction. "Although, now, Swamp Thing, you could pick better comics..."

"Hey! What's so bad about Swamp Thing?" Nick's eyes widened, and he looked at her in surprise. He didn't know Jenny knew anything about comics.

"Swamp Thing was good in the 80's, but now, Nicky, come on, it's just overwith. Read one of the thousands of Batman comics if you need to read something superheroish, but not that. Or even better, ever read The Tick?"

"Good cartoon," AJ offered, accepting his magazine back from Brian, who was still trying to watch the television.

"It was a comic first and foremost, and a better comic than cartoon," Jennifer told AJ with a sigh. "So was The Maxx...they ruin comics, I swear."

"That one I've never heard of," Nick frowned. "What's that?"

"I'll lend them to you when we're in Kentucky, I have them all in storage at my parents place," Jennifer replied, before clasping her hand over her mouth in horror. That had just popped out....

"You're going with Jen to Kentucky?" Brian's head whipped around to stare at Nick, he hadn't missed hearing that.

"For a couple weeks, yeah...I don't want to be anywhere near my family or Florida, you know that, Brian," Nick made up the lie quickly, hoping his friend would believe him.

"So you're going to stay with Jenny?" Brian looked at Jen, not quite buying the story. Nick had become amazingly closed mouthed about his relationship with Jennifer ever since he'd slept with her months ago, and he had no idea what was going on.

"Why not, I have comics and computer games even Nick doesn't have," Jennifer forced a smile onto her face, feeling a knot form in her stomach. So many lies...

"I guess," Brian shrugged, shaking his head. He hoped Nick and Jen knew what they were doing... "Ok, so back to Gundam, who's this Shenlong?"

"Maybe when I'm in Kentucky I'll lock you in a room with the entire series, B-Rok, finally catch you up," Nick grumbled. "Then you won't ask me stuff like this..."

"Oh, you love explaining it to me. Now, again, who's Shenlong?"



"I'll see you in Kentucky in a week then, right?" Kevin confirmed, watching Jennifer apply lipstick as she dressed for the show.

Jennifer couldn't believe it, their last show of the tour. This leg, anyway, it was finally over. "Yup, I just need to do some stuff in Orlando for a week," like stay with Nick in Tampa, "and then I'll be flying to Kentucky." She looked herself over in the mirror one final time and turned to Carly with a grin, "Ready?"

"BACKSTREET! WHAT TIME IS IT?" Carly hollered, receiving a loud groan from Kevin in response. "What? Come on, what time is it?"

"It's time to sleep," Kevin replied with an exaggerated yawn.

"What kind of sleep?" Jennifer quipped, "Hard sleep, uh!"

"Doesn't quite work, darling," Carly rolled her eyes at her friend.

"I try, I try," Jennifer smiled and grabbed Kevin's hand, pulling him out of the dressing room. "Come on, let's go make your fans drool one last time."

"WHAT TIME IS IT!" Carly shouted again as they walked to the stage, frowning when AJ asked to see her watch as they passed. "You all are pathetic."

"What, I got a flight in a couple hours," AJ shrugged. "I have a right to want to know the time."

"You're not flying out tomorrow morning like the rest of us?" Jennifer asked him curiously.

"Nope, I gotta get home, Johnny No Name's got some concerts lined up during the break," he waggled his eyebrows at the two women flirtatiously. "I expect to see both of you at the Florida shows."

"We'll be there," Jennifer slung her arm around Carly's shoulder with a grin. "Right?"

"Assuming I remember what time they are," Carly smirked, poking Jennifer in the stomach. "You gonna be in Florida then?"

Jennifer made a face and shook her head, not wanting to discuss that subject further with Kevin around. They had decided to tell Kevin about her and Nick as soon as they arrived in Kentucky, so if he overreacted, they could return to Florida, and leave him there to cool down. "Dunno."

"AJ's gonna play my club, right?" Howie said to AJ pointedly, a grin on his face.

"Sure, you got it, D," AJ shrugged. "Wherever they'll give me a microphone and a stage, right?"

"Ok kids, let's go, one last show, then you all can play," Kevin waved with his hands towards the stage.

Jennifer looked around for Nick and grabbed his hand, leading him onto the stage with a grin. One last show, then they could relax for a while. She felt his hand slip around her waist for the start of the show, and spun into the dance, smiling from ear to ear. They'd made it to the end of the tour...things could only get better from here. Right?
Chapter 17 by old_archive
Jennifer walked slowly off of the airplane into the airport, feeling like every step she took was one step closer to her doom.

"Don't worry," Nick told her confidently, squeezing her hand and pulling her into the terminal.

"Hey!" Kristen ran over to them when they emerged with the crowd, grabbing first Nick, then Jennifer in a hug. "How was your flight?"

"Fine, thanks," Jennifer followed Kristen out to the car she'd parked outside the terminal, waiting until they were settled and driving away before speaking. "How are you?"

"Very glad to have my husband home, thanks," She grinned, pulling onto the highway and driving towards Jen's house. "He doesn't know I came to pick you two up, by the way."

"Does he know I'm here?" Nick asked from his spot in the back seat.

"Nope," Kristen shook her head. "I keep waiting for Brian to say something, but he thinks Kevin knows, so nothing yet."

"Tomorrow, then," Jennifer sighed heavily, the weight in her chest dragging her down. "Can we get him drunk first, or something?"

"I think you're better off just coming out and telling him," Kristen replied with a chuckle. "You know what a lousy drunk Kevin is. After he's had his little fit, which he's bound to have, then you can get him good and drunk. But after, please, I'd like to keep my house in one piece."

Jennifer snickered, remembering exactly how lousy of a drunk Kevin could be. A very violent, angry drunk, when the moment was right. "Gotcha."

"And his mom's gonna be there?" Nick confirmed. He'd rather liked that part of the plan, Kevin's mother always seemed to like him, anyway, and Jennifer was positive Anne would be on their side.

"I told her about you two," Kristen said with a smile, "I figured you don't need to be wasting time tomorrow explaining it to Anne as well."

"What did she say?" Jennifer asked, curious.

"I believe her exact words were 'it's about damn time.'" Kristen laughed. "She said, if for no other reason than Kevin has probably been the most influential person in both of your lives, it makes perfect sense. You have him in common, if nothing else."

"That we do," Jennifer conceded with a grin. "He drives both of us nuts."

"I just hope he's talking to us after tomorrow," Nick said softly, as Kristen pulled up to Jennifer's house and stopped the car.

"He will, it'll just take him some time," Kristen reassured them. "I'll see you two tomorrow, ok?"

"Thanks, Kristen," Jennifer hugged the older woman, hoping she was right. "Tomorrow it is."



Jennifer sat in her car in Kevin's driveway, gripped in the throes of a panic attack, clutching the steering wheel in front of her with her fists, unable to move. "He's going to kill us both."

"We're here, Jenny, we should go in," Nick tried to pry her hands off of the steering wheel with no success, looking at her in frustration. She'd been like this since they'd arrived in Kentucky last night, absolutely terrified. "Come on, it's just Kevin."

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she stared at Nick in frustration. "JUST Kevin? We shouldn't be doing this, Kristen is right, this is wrong..." she started the car again, and reached for the gear shift.

"Don't you dare," Nick reached over and pulled the keys from the engine before she could put the car into reverse. "You're the one who doesn't want to be my whore, right?"

"What?" Jennifer tried to grab the keys from Nick, letting out an angry squeal when he held them away from her. "Fuck you, give me the keys!"

"Jennifer..." Nick couldn't help but smile at Jen's angry reaction. In some ways, she was so much like Kevin, it was hysterical. "I want to go in there and tell Kevin I love you, and preferably before he looks out of a window and wonders what the hell I'm doing in his driveway, not sit here and fight with you."

She stopped struggling for the keys and sighed, letting Nick pull her into a hug. "I don't want to fight you either, I just can't believe how scared I am."

"So let's go." Nick bent down and kissed her deeply, feeling her relax a little. "Ok?"

"Now I don't want to go anywhere." Jennifer grinned, before nodding and pulling away. "Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose." She got out of the car and straightened her dress, checking her appearance in the car window. "Do I look ok?"

"Is Kevin going to care about what you look like?" Nick walked around the car and took her hand, laughing at her nervousness.

"Good point," Jennifer took his hand and squeezed it tight, before slowly walking up the steps to the door. She took a deep breath and looked at Nick before pressing the doorbell, bouncing up and down impatiently while waiting for Kevin to answer.

"Relax." Nick told her, just watching her dance all over the place was making him nervous.

"I can't." She leaned onto the door to look through the peephole just as it opened, sending her falling into Kevin's arms with a startled cry.

"Hey!" Kevin caught her right before she hit the ground, setting her upright with a laugh. "What were you doing?" His head whipped around when he caught sight of another figure standing in the doorway, his eyes nearly popping out of his head when he recognized the blond man. "Nick?"

"Hey Kevin," Nick stepped inside of the house and took Jennifer's hand, noting how Kevin's eyes watched his every move. "What's up?"

"What are you doing here?" Kevin asked in surprise, staring at Jennifer's hand in Nick's. What the hell...

"I wanted Nick here, Kevin," Jennifer explained, her voice calm and smooth. She felt Nick's hand squeeze hers reassuringly, and shot him a quick glance before continuing. "I know you didn't want this Kev, but I'm in love with Nick...we didn't mean for it to happen, but it did..."

"You're what?" Kevin repeated, his face draining of color as he stared at her.

"I love Nick," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears at the expression on his face. "Kevin, please..."

"I love Jennifer," Nick added, not knowing how to read Kevin's expression, figuring he might as well step in. "We want to be together, and we don't want to hide anymore."

"You two have been hiding this from me?" Kevin's voice rose as he tried to grasp what they were telling him. Jenny...and Nicky?!

Jennifer cursed softly before stammering an explanation, "we didn't mean to, Kevin, we didn't know what else to do."

"Hey Jen, hey Nick," Brian came around a corner and spied the two of them, giving them both hugs before noticing Kevin's stunned expression. "What's with him?"

"Nick's been fucking my best friend, so it appears," Kevin spat out, glaring at Nick angrily. "Behind my back."

Nick just met Kevin's gaze calmly, knowing the best thing to do at this point was to keep quiet.

Brian's mouth fell open, and his eyes narrowed as he looked at Jennifer. "Really."

"Kevin, I want to be with Nick, please...don't be mad..." Tears falling down her face openly now, Jennifer walked over to Kevin and grabbed his hands in hers. "Richie, talk to me, please..."

"No," Kevin shook his head and pushed her away, still looking at Nick, the anger on his face clear to see. "She's my best friend, man, all I ever asked was that you didn't touch her."

"I fell in love with her, Kevin, she told you we didn't mean to," Nick tried to explain, but Kevin just shook his head at him angrily.

"You were not supposed to touch her! Ever!!" Kevin shouted, smacking Brian's hands away when he tried to calm him down. "You didn't know about this?" He turned on his cousin, accusing him with a finger to the chest.

"No," Brian shook his head before staring at Jennifer again. "You lied to me."

"I didn't have a choice," Jennifer argued, her eyes shooting around the room, from Kevin's angry face, to Brian's hurt one, to Nick's sad one...this was going so wrong... "We didn't know what else to do."

"So you lied to me, you lied to Kevin," Brian frowned, looking up at Nick sadly. "Nick lied to us because of you."

"Don't blame Jen, it isn't her fault," Nick cut in, hugging her when she doubled over in tears. "Look at her, do you think this is easy on her?"

"Get off of her," Kevin told Nick firmly, his green eyes turning dark in his anger. This wasn't happening...

"No," Nick wrapped her arms around Jennifer tighter, pulling her into his chest. He wasn't going to let her go, not while she was crying like this...

Jennifer looked at Kevin from within the safety of Nick's arms, shuddering when she saw the look in his eyes. Why was he reacting like this... "Kevin, please..."

"Fuck, Nick!" Kevin's hands were bunched into fists at his side, and Jennifer was scared to let Nick go, for fear that he would hit him. "Of all the women in the world!"

"She's older, she knew better," Brian interrupted, gesturing to Jennifer.

Jennifer bit her lip to stop herself from telling Brian just to fuck off, that wouldn't help the situation much now, would it. Well, at least he'd warned her about who's side he'd be on in a battle like this, right? "I'm standing right here, and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk about me as if I weren't," she wiped her eyes and looked at Brian sadly. "I swear to you, I did not intend to fall in love with your best friend. But I did, and we want to be together. We make each other happy, isn't that what matters?"

"No," Kevin shook his head angrily. "Not you, Jennifer, you're MINE, goddammit."

"Now, tell me I did not just hear my son claim to own a woman," Anne Richardson came upon them in the hallway, her eyes widening with concern when she spotted Jennifer crying in Nick's arms. "And what on earth has been happening here?"

"I was trying to explain to your son that I'm in love," Jennifer said, rolling her eyes when Kevin made a face. "He's just being a little pigheaded at the moment."

"You were hiding this from me!"

"With good reason!" Jennifer shot back, smiling up at Nick when he rubbed her back consolingly. "Both Nick and I were terrified to tell you."

"I wonder why, Kevin," Anne shook her head with a laugh, before pulling Jennifer into a hug. "I'm happy for you two, I think you look cute together."

"Thanks," Jennifer smiled, glad her assumption about Anne had been correct.

"Come on into the house, you shouldn't be stuck in the foyer all day," Anne led Jennifer further into the house, leaving Nick alone with Brian and Kevin. They joined Leighanne and Kristen in the kitchen, who were chattering away. "Look who I found!"

"Did you tell him?" Kristen walked over to Jennifer, her face falling when she saw the younger woman's red eyes. "Oh, I guess you did..."

"Hopefully he's not killing Nick right now," Jennifer sighed, shaking her head slowly. "We knew he was going to react like that, right?"

"Yeah, we did, although I don't for the life of me know why," Kristen chuckled when Anne laughed at her. "What?"

"He's just like his father, don't try to understand. What's his is his, and don't anyone dare mess with it," she explained with a shrug. "Jennifer's a Richardson possession, Kevin doesn't much like sharing."

"It's touching, really." Jennifer groaned, "but sometimes the big boys just have to learn to share."

"He'll get it, he will," Kristen reassured Jennifer with a smile. "If he doesn't, just beat it into him, he'll figure it out eventually."

"Yeah, I guess."
Chapter 18 by old_archive
A few hours later, Jennifer spotted Kevin sitting out alone by the pool, and decided enough time had passed that she might as well chance talking to him. "You going to yell at me again?" She asked softly as she approached, relief sweeping over her when he turned around to look at her without screaming.

"Come here," He reached his hand out for her and pulled her into her embrace, arranging her next to him. "I did it again, didn't I."

"I'm so sorry we hid this from you, Kevin, we just didn't know what else to do," Jennifer apologized again, holding his hands tight in hers. She didn't feel like she could ever say the words enough, she was so very sorry...

"It's not like I gave you much of a choice," Kevin replied softly, looking at her hands in his, her skin looking porcelain white, and silky soft against his. "Nick said that you wanted to tell me, how upset you were over the whole thing."

"I was..."

"You really love him?" He asked, his voice strangely sad and distant. "You never said that about Paul, you know..."

"I never was in love with Paul like this," Jennifer said, looking into Kevin's eyes, hoping he could see how sincere she was. "I love Nick, I really do. He's a wonderful man, and he makes me so happy."

Kevin sighed heavily and hugged her tight, "I guess I shouldn't be so surprised, I knew something like this was bound to happen."

"We really didn't mean for anything to happen...it just kinda did..."

"I know," Kevin nodded slowly, before kissing her hair lightly. "I love you, Jenny, you know that. I love Nicky too, he's a brother to me. Just the idea of him...and you...."

Jennifer laughed lightly and smiled at Kevin. "I know, the whole idea would have sounded a little nuts to me too."

"Mind if I join you?" Nick walked up to them and looked at Kevin, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I think this is where I'm supposed to do the gracious thing and leave the two lovebirds alone," Kevin said slowly, not entirely sure why it seemed to physically hurt to say those words. He kissed Jennifer's forehead one last time, then stood up, looking Nick over with a stern gaze. "You know how much Jenny means to me, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Nick nodded rapidly, unable to stop from shooting Jen a quick grin. It looked like Kevin was coming around? "She was untouchable to me because she was your best friend. I don't know what suddenly changed, but something did, and it's been great, Kev..."

"Ok, enough, I really don't want details," Kevin interrupted, pulling Nick into a tight hug. "You're my brother, but I've known Jenny since she was 4 years old, she's my world. You hurt her, I'll kill you. You got it?"

"Got it," Nick agreed, returning the hug with vigor. "I hurt her, I'll kill myself, that's a promise."

"That's morbid," Jennifer interrupted, standing up and pulling the two men apart. "Nobody's hurting anyone, ok?"

"Now that's just too cute..." Brian and Leighanne stopped in their tracks on their way out to the pool at the sight of Kevin, Jennifer and Nick all hugging each other tight.

"Leave them be..." Leighanne chided, as Brian started creeping up to them, a grin on his face.

"No way, this is too good to resist." Brian hushed her as he jumped onto Kevin's back, sending the four of them flying into the pool behind them. "HEY CUZ!"

"Now someone's getting hurt!" Kevin hollered, splashing around in search of his cousin. "Where is he?" He stormed around the pool in an angry exaggeration of himself, much to the enjoyment of Leighanne and Kristen, watching from the side.

Jennifer and Nick were oblivious to the ruckus, they had surfaced in the pool, taken one look at each other, and fell into each others arms. And there they stayed, hugging each other tight, as Kevin and Brian splashed around them, and the wives looked on laughing. Mom stayed in the kitchen cleaning up, glad her son had finally calmed down and was acting like himself again.

As Kevin finally dragged himself out of the pool after Brian, wringing water from his hair, he came to a very uncomfortable realization. He really didn't like seeing Nick touching Jennifer like that.

And he really didn't know exactly why.



A very tan and relaxed Nick and Jennifer showed up to their first day of rehearsals for the second leg of the tour, both of them wearing grins that could have lit up a moonless night.

"Have your feet touched the ground even once since our tour ended?" Howie asked Nick as he walked into the room holding Jen's hand, laughing at how insanely giddy his friend looked.

"I don't think so," Nick confessed, looking at Jen. Ever since Kevin had accepted the two of them as a couple things had been wonderful. He felt like they'd grown closer than ever over the last month, and he had the time of his life spending so much time alone with her. Neither of them had realized exactly how much they had been holding back for fear of rejection from Kevin...once that fear was removed, it all came flooding out. "They don't have to though, do they?"

"Nope!" Jennifer quipped, kissing Nick quickly. "Not ever."

"Is that my best friend?" Kevin walked into the room, his hand over his eyes as if to shade him from the sight. "I don't know, it's been a while, not sure if I recognize her...."

"Very funny," Jennifer ran over to Kevin and hugged him tight. "It's your fault you didn't see me, you're the one who was always too busy." And he had been, every single time she'd tried to get Kevin, Kristen, her and Nick together over the last month, something had come up. Kristen had come over a few times, but never with Kevin.

"I had business to take care of," Kevin said woefully. "Did you miss me?" He also hadn't wanted to see Jennifer and Nick together. He'd figured he would be confronted with the sight of the two of them together soon enough, and often enough, taking some time to get used to the idea was a good thing to do first. Except that he'd taken his time, and he still wasn't used it, and it was no longer an idea. It was very real, he hadn't missed seeing Jennifer and Nick kissing when he'd walked in. The sight had not been a pleasant one.

"Of course I did." Jennifer smiled. "Terribly."

Nick watched Jennifer and Kevin talk, his eyes narrowing as something began to nag at him. Something about the way Kevin was talking to Jen...something different in his manner. It was almost as if he were...well....flirting with her. "She did, she was always complaining about how awful you were for standing her up," he pointed out to Kevin with a grin, walking up to Jen and hugging her from behind.

"Yup, he's an awful awful best friend, isn't he," Jennifer snuggled into Nick's arms, laughing at the grimace Kevin made in response. "He knows it, look at that face."

"That's Kevin, always got the business. Y'all can stay young, Kevin's acting old enough for all of us." Brian cracked, making a face when Kevin didn't laugh. "What?"

"We are here to rehearse, aren't we?" He pointed out, looking around the room.

"We don't have to, we can just stand here all day," Jennifer suggested, quite content in her spot with Nick's arms wrapped tight around her.

"Rehearsal." Kevin laughed, pushing her away from Nick and smacking her lightly on the rear. "Go! Rehearse!"

"Sheesh, be a slave driver, why don't you," Jennifer grumbled, before waving a goodbye and going off to join the other dancers. "I'll see you later, Massa Richardson," she drawled with a smirk.

"Ok, that's not funny..."

Nick snickered and followed Jen, "I'm gonna hang with the dancers until you need me. And yeah, that was really funny, Kev..."

"I am not a slave driver, and you are not going to hang with the dancers, you're staying right here."

"Plantation owner, I think, a Massa would be," Brian corrected.

"Not funny. Nick, get back here."

"Overseer?" Howie offered.

"Still not funny. Nick!"

"Kevin, just Kevin," AJ cut in. "He's Train. An entity all unto himself. Just leave it at that."

"Just Kevin." Kevin nodded, ending the discussion there. "Now, do we or do we not have a tour to prepare for...Nick!"
Chapter 19 by old_archive
"Why are you even bothering with a room of your own?" Carly asked Jennifer, watching her unpack her stuff in the first of many hotel rooms the roommates were to occupy during the second leg of the Backstreet Boys World Tour. "Between Kevin and Nick, I highly doubt you're going to be spending any nights in a room with me. I'm nowhere near as attractive."

"I need space of my own," Jennifer shrugged. She'd discussed 'officially' sharing Nick's room with him on the tour, but had decided that they would be spending enough time together already, it would be good for her to have a place of her own to go to in the event they needed time apart. "Just in case, you know?"

"I guess," Carly waved her understanding before changing the subject. "So, tonight, do you know what this party's supposed to be?"

Jennifer grinned. After the first performance of the tour tonight, they all would be heading out to a club for a private party. And they had a day off tomorrow, so they could truly kick off the tour with a bang. "It's at some club Howie found, it should be a lot of fun."

"AJ's still single, right?" Carly asked, raising her eyebrows hopefully.

"Yup, he is," She nodded. "And complaining left and right about how he didn't meet anyone during the break."

"Well, I'm right here, AJ hon, come on over!" Carly hollered, laughing when Jennifer rolled her eyes. "What?"

"I think you like the chase a lot more than what happens when you catch him," Jennifer replied, throwing her bags on the floor of the closet and closing it with a bang. "And I'm unpacked."

"You can't say that, I haven't caught him yet," Carly argued. "Ask me that after, then we'll talk."

"OK..." Jennifer said with a sigh. It just seemed, to her anyway, that if Carly REALLY had wanted AJ, she could have had him a long time ago. She just liked flirting.

"It'll be nice not having to lie to the boss every night," Carly changed the subject again with a smirk. "Kevin's not carrying any grudges over that, is he?"

Jennifer shrugged, carefully considering the question before answering. "Kevin's acting differently, yeah, but I don't think it's a grudge over us lying to him. If anything, that's the part he seemed to have an easiest time dealing with, he understands why we lied."

"What's the hard part?"

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "I'm his, and he doesn't like to share."

Carly started laughing, "well, hon, surely he understands that Nicky is providing a service to you that he himself is not capable of doing with a ring on his finger."

Jennifer laughed, and made a face, "he turns green if the topic of sex and me and Nick comes up, it's kind of cute."

"Aww, Kevin's jealous."

"Not jealous, just possessive," Jennifer corrected.

Carly shook her head slowly, "no, girl, sounds like jealousy to me. Nick's got something he wants now."

"He's got Kristen, and he's very happy with her."

"Is he?"

Jennifer's mouth dropped open, and she looked at Carly in surprise. "What are you suggesting?"

"You said you saw Kristen over break, but not Kevin. Did she mention any problems at home?"

She shook her head slowly, "they were fighting a little, but they always do, that's what happens when you spend so much time apart."

"And since you've been seeing Kevin again, has he mentioned Kristen?"

"No..."

"Does he normally?"

Jennifer frowned. "Yes."

"Ooh, this is going to be a fun tour!" Carly bounced up and down on the bed, clapping her hands happily. "Have I mentioned recently how happy I am you joined the tour? Things were so boring before you came along..."

"So glad to entertain," Jennifer groaned, throwing a pillow at Carly. "Nothing's gonna happen, you're being silly. The worst is over, Kevin knows, and he's fine with it."

"Oh, no hon, I think the worst is yet to come," Carly disagreed. "This is going to be a very interesting tour."

"You're wrong," Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Kevin wants me to be happy, and I'm happy with Nick."

"Kevin wants you to be happy HIS way, and that doesn't include Nick," Carly corrected. "Things are gonna blow up, and it's gonna be so much fun to watch."

Jennifer waved at her friend's comments, standing up and walking into the bathroom to get dressed for the night's performance. "You're wrong. That's all there is to it."

She wouldn't, couldn't, consider anything else as a possibility. She loved Nick, and she loved Kevin. And that was that. Ignoring Carly's scream arguing her point again, she stepped into the shower, willing the hot water to wash her worries away.

Things would be just fine, and the tour would be a lot of fun. After all, what girl doesn't want to spend months on the road with her best friend, AND her boyfriend. Couldn't get much better than this, right?



One month later, Jennifer found herself considering Carly's words that night as something of a warning of what was to come. Not that things had really gotten so bad, but they'd definitely taken a turn she hadn't expected. The party to kick off the tour that first night had been a blast, as she'd known it would be, but it had also been her first public appearance as Nick Carter's girlfriend, something no magazine or paper in the country was about to leave alone.

Most of the more mainstream publications just mentioned in a side note that Nick had a new girlfriend, who just happened to be one of the Backstreet dancers. But leave it to the tabloids to dig up the full story on Jennifer Lynn Mitchell, childhood friend to Kevin Richardson, along with pictures from elementary school and high school of the two of them. The idea of Nick dating Kevin's best friend was just too juicy for any of them to leave alone.

Kevin and Nick both tried to shelter Jennifer from the press the situation was receiving, but it was pretty hard for her to ignore. Unlike the two of them, she was still entirely capable of going out in public with a hat and sunglasses for protection, and tabloid headlines screaming her name at checkout counters were pretty hard to miss.

"See this one?" Jennifer held up the latest issue of the National Enquirer for Nick to see on the tour bus one night. She'd run into a gas station to pick up some soda when they'd made a stop, and seen her face staring back at her. "I don't know where they got this picture," she threw it at him with a frown. The picture on the front page was of her kissing Kevin on stage in a high school theatre production. "Even I don't have pictures from this show."

Nick caught the paper and threw it in the trash without looking at it. He had already seen it, Kevin was making it a regular thing, showing him what the papers were saying about him and Jennifer. It hurt a lot, to see the world talking about how he was stealing Kevin's girl, and he couldn't help but wonder why it seemed like Kevin got some sort of perverse pleasure from all the attention the situation was receiving. "It's junk, Jenny, don't let it get to you."

"It's bullshit!" Jennifer frowned, shaking her head. "I hate how they're making it sound like you and Kevin are competing for me, that's not true."

"I know, baby, they're just causing trouble," Nick pulled her into his arms and kissed her gently, smiling when she sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too, Nicky," Jennifer replied with a smile, wrapping her arms around his back. "I just wish they'd leave us alone."

"They'll find another story soon enough," Nick told her confidently. After all, it had been a month since the story broke, how long could they possibly drag it out. Fine, Nick was dating Kevin's best friend. There was a limit to how many times they could say the same thing.

"I hope so," Jennifer snuggled into Nick's arms, smiling when she felt his hand sliding against her bare skin, under her clothes. "I'm suddenly feeling very sleepy," she confessed as a yawn crept over her face.

"So take a nap," Nick rubbed her back, watching her stretch in his arms. "We got another couple hours on the bus, and everyone else is asleep in their bunks."

Jen nodded and snuggled deeper into the couch and Nick's arms, getting comfortable. She loved it when the rest of the group went to their bunks and left the two of them the couch, it was so uncomfortable, trying to smush into those little bunks in back. "I love sleeping on you," she started laughing as soon as the words left her mouth. "That sounds very funny."

"I like the way that sounds," Nick told her with a giggle, kissing her. "Now go to sleep."

"Night Nicky," She smiled and closed her eyes, relaxing her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat quickly putting her to sleep.

Nick held Jennifer tight, listening as her breathing deepened and she fell asleep. He happily watched her sleeping until his eyelids drooped, and then followed suit, his head dropping into her hair as he slept.

Kevin awoke a few minutes later, crawling out of the bunk and frowning when he saw the sight before him. Nick and Jennifer were tangled up together on the couch, asleep. He let his eyes drift over their bodies, his brow furrowing when he saw one of Nick's hands tangled in her hair, his head on hers, their hips pressed tightly together. Nick's bare foot had even worked its way inside her baggy pants, his knee tight in between hers, every inch of their bodies touching in some way. This was not the way two friends slept together...it was a lover's embrace, and the pain he felt in his heart at seeing another man holding his best friend that way was almost too much to bear. Seeing Jennifer with Paul never hurt like this...

He couldn't take his eyes off of the little bit of skin showing at Jennifer's hip, where Nick's hand had slid under the waist of her pants to hold her. Such a small gesture, touching bare skin, but it meant so much....he wanted to hold her like that, run his fingers over that bit of soft, white skin. With a frown, he made his way past them to the front of the bus, rolling his eyes as he saw the National Enquirer balled up in the garbage can. While he didn't exactly appreciate what the tabloids were saying about his best friend, it was quite a bit of fun to watch the way the tone of the articles had shifted, once they'd realized Jennifer had known him longer, and better than she'd ever known Nick. They all seemed to believe he was the one who was supposed to be with Jennifer, not Nick.

And lately, he was starting to think more and more, that they were right.
Chapter 20 by old_archive
"Good movie," Jennifer stretched out on the couch, giggling when Kevin started to tickle her under her raised arms. "Hey!"

"Gotcha," Kevin smirked and threw her down onto her back, lying on top of her so he could attack her waist fully. "I love how ticklish you are," his eyes gleamed with mischief as he continued his torture until tears were streaming down her face.

"Kevin, stop," Jenny begged, squirming up against him. Her eyes widened in surprise when she felt his hips press down into hers, the hard lump between his legs impossible for her to ignore.

"I dunno, you're smiling, aren't you?" Kevin grinned, taking another swipe at her waist when she cursed at him.

"Because you're tickling me, not because I'm enjoying this!" Jennifer smacked at his hands, feeling them lift up her shirt to tickle bare skin. What the hell was he doing.. "Kevin..."

Kevin smiled when he felt her skin under his fingers, the heat radiating off of her. He stopped tickling her and just rested his palms against her, stroking her softly. "Yeah, Jenny Lynn?"

"I need to go..." Jennifer said softly, looking into his eyes. She'd agreed to watch a movie with him tonight, but then she was going to Nick's room...she'd told him that before.

Kevin put on his best pout, his green eyes growing wide as he looked at her. "You never sleep with me anymore."

"Oh, you're breaking my heart," Jennifer snickered, pushing against his chest. "Ok, big boy, off of me..."

"You can't push me off of you, can you." Kevin looked down at her, a smirk on his face, watching as she squirmed underneath him. He was loving this, every time she tried to push up against him, her hips ended up grinding against him as well. She felt so good against him, it was taking all of his strength not to just grab her and kiss her right now. But he had to do this right...in time. She would come to him.

"I can try," Jennifer frowned and punched at him, feeling the lump pressing into her growing steadily with her every movement. "Kevin..."

"Ok, ok," Kevin smiled and rolled off of her, laughing when she shoved him onto the floor. "What?"

"Nothing," Jennifer stood up and looked at him, shaking her head. Something was strange with Kevin, but whatever it was...now wasn't the time to figure it out.

"I love you Jenny Lynn," Kevin called after her as she left, smiling when she shouted back how much she loved Richie Smartass too. She loved him...he was just going to have to convince her of how much.



Jennifer swung by her room to brush her teeth before going to Nick's suite, smiling when he opened the door with a sleepy grin. "Were you asleep?"

Nick wrapped his arms around her and kissed her before replying. "Yeah, I tried to stay awake waiting for you, but..."

"I'm sorry, Kevin didn't seem to want to let me go," Jennifer explained, letting Nick pull her down onto the bed, smiling when she felt him pressing excitedly into her thigh. Now Nicky like this she liked to feel...liked it a lot.

Nick made a face and rolled off of her, shaking his head. "Kevin seems to be wanting a lot of you lately."

Jennifer's brow wrinkled, and she rolled onto her side, looking at Nick closely. "He's my best friend, Nick, he knows me better than anyone...he likes to talk to me, I like to talk to him. That's all."

"He knows you better than me?" Nick asked her, looking away from her and staring at the ceiling when she didn't reply. "Great."

"Nicky..." Jennifer ran a finger across his face before turning his head, forcing him to look at her. "Kevin has known me for, what, 22 years? That's a long time...you can't try to compete with that, and I don't want you to..."

"I don't like the way he touches you, or looks at you," Nick confessed softly, a frown turning his lips down. "It's like he wants you for himself."

"Nick, he's my best friend, that's all he'll ever be," Jennifer kissed him, her tongue flickering over his lips until she felt them open, and his tongue joined hers in an erotic dance. When she finally broke the kiss, she looked into his eyes, smiling. "I'm here now, with you because I love you, and want to be with you, not Kevin."

"I know you do...but I think Kevin wants you."

"Nick..." Jennifer asked hesitantly, not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer to her question. "Has Kevin mentioned Kristen to you lately?"

Nick shrugged, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. "A little, I guess, why?"

"He hasn't talked about her at all." Jennifer's eyes widened when she saw the expression on Nick's face, and she quickly changed the subject. "I'm sure it's nothing important. We saw a good movie, though...."

"He's been having problems with her. She's living in LA for now." Nick said in a strange voice, his arms wrapping around Jennifer and holding her tight. It was starting to look more and more like Kevin was about to try to take her from him, and he didn't like it, not one bit.

Jennifer gasped and looked up at Nick in surprise. "I had no idea..."

"I bet," Nick rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Kevin's up to something, I know it."

"With Kristen, I guess." Jennifer nodded slowly, before kissing Nick again. "Can we do something else now?" She giggled, pressing her body into his. One thing she had to say about what Kevin had done to her in his room, it had certainly put her in one hell of a mood.

"And what would that be?" Nick asked with a grin, pushing her onto her back and climbing on top of her.

Jennifer wrapped her arms and legs around his back and kissed him. "I want you inside of me, Nicky," she breathed, suddenly feeling like her body was on fire.

Nick's eyes lit up when he felt her grind up against him, and he quickly removed her of her clothes, smiling when she was finally lying naked under him. "And what got you like this?" He couldn't help but ask with a smirk as he bent his head to lick her nipple.

Jennifer arched her back up to him with a cry before replying, the soft wetness of Nick's lips sucking on her the most incredible feeling in the world. "I love you, baby, it's all you."

Nick pulled off his boxers with a quick tug and knelt between her legs, looking deeply into her eyes. "I love you too, Jenny, I always will."

"I know Nicky," she gasped as she felt him push inside of her, the feeling of him filling her taking her breath away. Nothing ever felt so good...it was like she was empty, and only Nick could fill her like this. "Oh, baby," she tangled her hands through his hair, pulling his head down to hers so she could kiss him. She wanted his tongue in her mouth, his body inside hers, on hers, all over...

Nick moaned into her mouth, returning the kiss eagerly as his hips began moving in a slow, steady rhythm with her. The dance that was their lovemaking was something they had been perfecting over the last few months, to the point that he felt like it couldn't ever get any better. And yet every time, somehow, it always did...he groaned with pleasure when he felt her tighten around him, breaking the kiss to look into her eyes.

Jennifer's eyes flew open when she felt his lips leave hers, and she looked at him. "You feel so good," she sighed, watching his eyes dilate as he pushed even deeper within her.

Nick just smiled and kissed her again, his movements quickly increasing speed as he heard her cries get louder and louder. "I love you, baby," he told her, bending down to suck on her nipple when her cries were at their peak. He was rewarded with one loud scream of his name, followed by the most incredible tremors around him. The sound, and the feeling was too much to take, and he buried himself deep inside of her before the world exploded around him, his body melting into hers as they both shook with pleasure.

They lay curled up in bed, both breathing heavily, bodies intertwined, holding each other tight. First Jen, then Nick, they fell asleep, happy and content in the other's arms. The rest of the world, and Kevin, kept safely at bay for another night.
Chapter 21 by old_archive
"Turn on the tv, the guys are doing an interview," Jennifer pointed to the remote control sitting on the night stand by Carly.

Carly grabbed the remote and flicked on the television, looking at Jen with a raised eyebrow. "Channel? Show?"

"TRL, MTV," Jen gestured impatiently to the television, looking at her watch. "You like playing dumb, don't you."

Carly stuck her tongue out at Jennifer as Backstreet music filled the air, followed by Carson Daly welcoming everyone to today's episode of TRL. "He's a shit," she remarked, wrinkling her nose at Carson.

"I wouldn't know," Jennifer shrugged, lying down on her stomach to watch the show, perching her head in her hands. She smiled as the five guys walked on camera, holding microphones, and proceeded to answer questions from Carson about their current tour and album.

"Look at AJ," Carly grinned, watching as he proudly pulled his shirt up to display his latest tattoo.

Jennifer just nodded, her eyes locked on Nick. He kept looking at Kevin, making her wonder if something had happened right before they had walked on air. She sat up with a start when she heard Carson ask about Nick's girlfriend, only to be interrupted by Kevin pointing out Jenny was his best friend too. "What the hell," she whispered in astonishment, as Nick did much of the same to Kevin, staring at him in surprise.

"What's Kevin doing to Nick?" Carly asked Jenny, who shushed her with a wave as Carson proceeded to ask Kevin who had known Jenny first.

"That would be me, Carson. Jenny and I...we had a lot of first's together," Kevin winked into the camera before turning to Nick, his eyes narrowing as he dealt his final blow. "I taught her everything she knows, you could say."

Jennifer felt like she couldn't breathe when she saw Nick's face fall, his eyes growing wide as the impact of Kevin's words sunk in. "Oh jesus no..."

"What's he talking about, Jen?" Carly asked, as Carson thanked the Backstreet Boys for their appearance and took the show to commercial, ending the segment. She turned to look at her friend, her concern growing when she saw Jennifer's horrified expression. "Kevin was your first...what?"

"I lost my virginity to Kevin," Jennifer said softly, unable to tear her eyes away from the television, willing Nick to come back on screen, cursing the car commercial that was currently on. She had to see his face again...that expression...oh god.. "Nick doesn't know."

"Well, I'd say the whole world knows now, if they use the slightest bit of intuition," Carly shook her head slowly. "You probably got half an hour until they get back here."

"My god, did you see Nick's face?" Jennifer's eyes filled with tears as TRL came back on, and Carson announced the Backstreet Boys had left the building, joking about the visible tension between Kevin and Nick.

"I couldn't exactly have missed it, darling," Carly said consolingly. "I'm sure everything will be ok, you'll just talk to him when he gets back."

Jennifer nodded, looking at the clock. Ten minutes, huh. Biting her lip she sighed, feeling like the next ten minutes were going to be the longest of her life.



The second Nick heard the call of all clear, he ripped his earpiece out of his ear and turned on Kevin, shoving him up against the blinds that had been dropped over the glass walls of the studio. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nicky, calm down," Kevin chuckled uncomfortably, looking at the fans in the studio around them. "Wait until we get out of here."

"Fuck you," Nick spat out and stormed out of the studio amid screams, Brian following close on his heels. Once he was in the green room he whirled on his friend, his blue eyes blazing with anger. "Do you know what he was talking about?"

"Nick, what the fuck did you think you were doing, attacking me in front of fans like that?" Kevin charged into the room and up to Nick before Brian could get a word out, stepping in between the two. "Stupid move, kid."

"What were you doing, talking about my girlfriend like that?" Nick squared his chest and shouted back at Kevin. "On television, Kevin, what the fuck!"

"You always knew she was mine first, Nick, didn't you?" Kevin replied slowly, staring steadily into Nick's eyes. When Nick didn't reply, he smiled wryly. He'd been working up to this for weeks now, it was so nice to see he'd done so well. "You did...we have something you and her will never have, Nicky. You've always known it, and it's been killing you."

"No," Nick stared at Kevin as his eyes filled with tears, shaking his head slowly. "I didn't know anything..." he protested weakly, knowing Kevin was right.

"You think she's hot now, Nick, I tell you, you shoulda seen her at 15." Kevin smiled and took a deep breath, taking a step back from Nick.

Brian was staring at his cousin, his expression a strange combination of shock, horror and surprise. He couldn't believe the way Kevin was treating Nick, the way he was talking about Jennifer...what had come over him.

"She'll always be mine, Nick, always has been, always will be." Kevin told Nick with a grin before leaving the room, slamming the door for emphasis behind him.

Nick jumped when he heard the loud bang of the door slam, a tear slowly trickling down his face. He stared at the floor, stunned, feeling like his world had just fallen apart around him. "What do I do now, Bri?" He asked his friend pitifully, raising a pair of bright blue eyes to him for advice.

"I don't know, Nicky," Brian grabbed Nick in a hug, rubbing his back consolingly. All this years, and he'd just thought Kevin and Jen were just close friends. He'd never even suspected... "I just don't know."

"Van's ready," AJ poked his head into the room, pulling off his sunglasses when he spied Nick crying in Brian's arms. "He ok, man?"

Brian frowned, still rubbing Nick's back steadily as the younger man shook in his arms. "No. Did my cousin leave already?"

"Yeah, the lunatic ran outside and flagged a cab, Carlos nearly killed him," AJ snickered, before becoming serious again. "What did Kev mean..." he had to ask.

Nick shuddered and stood up straight, leveling his gaze at AJ. "Kevin already left?"

"Yeah..."

"You think he's going to her?" Nick asked Brian softly, his heart breaking as he asked the question.

Brian sighed and nodded slowly, not having the courage to lie to his best friend, the poor man had been lied to enough already. He'd seen the expression on Kevin's face as well as Nick did. Kevin was about to throw his marriage away for his best friend. Or try, anyway... "She loves you, Nicky."

"I don't know anything anymore," Nick wiped off his eyes and ran his hand through his hair before taking a deep breath. "We should go."

Brian put his arm around Nick's shoulder, holding him tight as they left the studio. "You're gonna be ok, Nicky," he tried to provide some comfort.

Nick just bit his lip and kept walking, not knowing how to reply. His big brother had just turned on him, his girlfriend had lied to him....everything was wrong. Right now, he felt like he would never be ok again.
Chapter 22 by old_archive
Jennifer jumped up and ran to the door when she heard the knock, throwing it open. Her face fell when she saw Kevin standing on the other side, and she took a quick step back, her expression quickly becoming one of confusion. "Where's Nick?"

"I have no idea," he shrugged, peeking past her into the room and waving at Carly. "Come to my room?" He asked her, as if nothing was wrong.

Jennifer stared at him in amazement, her eyes narrowed. Did he really think she wouldn't have seen TRL? "What happened on TRL, Kevin?"

"Nothing," Kevin shrugged. "Nick got a little possessive, got a little upset when I told the truth."

"Nick got possessive?!" Jennifer repeated, the sarcasm dripping off of her voice. "Kevin, what the hell, I taught her everything she knows? That's a bald faced lie!"

"Baby, you know I did..." Kevin said soothingly, reaching out and pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Don't touch me," she smacked his hand away, stepping away from him. "One night, Kevin, ONE NIGHT."

"And a wonderful night it was," Kevin smiled, moving forward and closing the distance between them.

"A mistake," Jennifer replied evenly, shaking her head. "One big mistake I'm just never going to stop paying for, am I." She sighed, and pointed to the door, "please, Kevin, leave, before Nick comes back?"

"Why do you want to talk to Nick?" Kevin's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Didn't she get it? Nick had proven on TRL he was a child. She needed a man....

"I love him, Kevin, I want to try to explain!" Jennifer rolled her eyes in frustration, and pushed him towards the door. "Try to repair some of the damage you've done."

"I love you, Jenny," he said quickly, as she shoved him into the hallway.

"Don't, Kevin," Jennifer warned him, shaking her head. "You're married, you'll regret saying anything else."

"No, I won't," Kevin caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eyes and couldn't help but grin, hoping it was the rest of the gang coming off of the elevator. He continued speaking as Jennifer closed the door in his face, practically shouting through the door, "I love you Jenny Lynn, I always will, and you WILL be mine. Nick knows you're mine, you'll see." And with that, he turned his back and returned to his room, not looking at the figures he was seeing in his peripheral vision.

Nick had stopped dead in his tracks when he'd seen Kevin, his stomach knotting at the mere sight of him. He'd heard Kevin proclaim his love for Jennifer, and was unable to stifle another sob, Billy's arm slipping around his waist to hold him up when his tears overwhelmed him again. He'd never felt so completely and totally betrayed...he'd trusted her. He'd trusted Kevin. With a soft cry, he pushed Billy away, digging in his pocket for his room key. Opening the door, he walked inside, turning when Brian followed him in. "I need to be alone," he told his friend quietly, sitting down on the bed and resting his head in his hands. He needed to think.

"I'll come check on you in a little while, ok?" Brian told Nick, before leaving and closing the door quietly behind him.

Nick lay back on the bed when he heard the door close, his hand over his eyes, frowning as he felt salty tears run down his face. She'd told him she loved him...she'd told him she'd never been with Kevin...she'd told him a lot of things. Right now, he didn't know what to believe, beyond the pain in his heart. That was real, and true, of that he had no doubt. The pain...at least that was his, he thought, as another pang shot through his heart. All his. All thanks to Kevin.



Jennifer paced back and forth across the hotel room, shaking her head in frustration. "He must be back by now, are you sure I shouldn't just go to his room?" She looked at Carly, her blue eyes bright in her emotional state. She wouldn't sit down, couldn't sit down, not until she talked to Nick, told him she loved him, made sure everything was all right.

Carly sighed and waved towards the door. "You're going to wear a hole in the carpet, and knocking can't hurt, right? Go for it."

Jennifer was out the door, down the hall and knocking on Nick's suite before Carly could finish her sentence, the tone of approval in her voice had been all she'd needed. She knocked again impatiently when nobody answered, frowning and checking her watch. He had to be back by now...her eyes narrowed suspiciously when she heard a soft sniffle from inside the room, and she pressed her ear to the door, listening carefully. "Nicky?" She called, hearing another louder sniffle, followed by a cough. "Baby, is that you?"

Nick opened the door slowly, a sad, resigned expression on his face. "I thought you would be with Kevin," he said softly, stepping back from her when she walked into the room.

"Nick, I love you, not Kevin," Jennifer started, then stopped when she saw his face turn cold at the sound of her voice. "What?"

"You lied to me," Nick turned around and walked back into the room, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. "Kevin's right, you were his first, always will be."

"No, Nick, I want you," Jennifer protested, following him into the room and sitting down next to him. "Please, Nicky, look at me..." she begged him, tears filling her eyes when he refused, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor in front of him.

"Every time I see you, or him, I think about the two of you together," Nick's voice was cold and distant, and the words cut through Jennifer's heart like a dagger. "The things I did with you....he did them too...before me. I see him touching you, think about him being inside of you, it makes me sick."

"It was over ten years ago, Nick, do you realize how long that is?" Jennifer argued, her heart pounding in her chest as she stared at him. "I barely even remember what it was like..."

"You just keep lying, don't you," Nick's lips turned up in a sneer as he shook his head. "You told me about losing your virginity, or don't you remember, Jenny Lynn?"

Jennifer's breath caught in her throat at the scornful use of Kevin's nickname for her, and she wiped at the tears now streaming down her face. "I remember it was wonderful, but not the details, Nick, it was so long ago..."

"Kevin has no idea you were pregnant with his baby," Nick said, sighing heavily. "I wonder what he'd say, if he found out...you killed his child without even telling him."

Jennifer gasped as a sob shook her at Nick's turn of phrase. He had to have known how much hearing him say that would hurt her. "Oh god, Nick, he's never known, why would he have to know now..."

"Don't you think it's time everyone found out the truth about everything?" Nick asked her, finally raising his head to look at her. "Including Kevin?" He had a feeling finding out about Jen's abortion would hurt Kevin dearly, which was exactly what he wanted at the moment.

"No, please Nicky, not that..." Jennifer pleaded, her hand going over her mouth in her desperation.

Nick bit his lip as another tear rolled down his face, and he looked away from her, having seen, and heard, all he needed to. "You come here to tell me you love me, and yet you still protect him."

"I do love you," Jennifer argued, her eyes widening in horror when Nick pushed her away from him. "Nicky..."

"Get out," he shook his head and waved to the door. "You love Kevin, you've made that pretty clear, once and for all."

"Nick, please," Jennifer tried one last time, but stood up when he refused to look at her, his eyes again firmly fixed on the ground. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She said hopefully, before turning to leave when he didn't reply. "I do love you, so much, Nicky," she said softly as she walked out the door. She turned around and stared at the door as it closed firmly behind her, feeling like another door had closed in her life as well...one she desperately didn't want to close.

She walked back down the hall to her room, dragging her feet every step of the way, wondering what in the world she could do to make this right again. Nick hated her, Kevin would hate her when Nick told him what he knew...the two most important men in her life had turned, or were about to turn on her. Somehow, someway, she had to fix this, and before it got much worse.

She just wasn't sure how she was going to do that.
Chapter 23 by old_archive
Jennifer fully intended to return to her room, but she had been gripped by a wave of panic. What if Nick went to Kevin's room tonight, told him about her abortion? What if he called him? She stood in the hallway, standing in front of his door, wondering if Nick wasn't right. She did love Kevin, it was time for her to come clean...she just didn't love him THAT way...did she? Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door, hoping Nick hadn't already had a chance to talk to Kevin.

Kevin opened the door, his eyes lighting up when he saw Jennifer standing on the other side. "Hey," he looked at her carefully, his face falling when he saw her tear streaked cheeks, her puffy eyes. "Oh no," he pulled her into the room and lead her to the couch, sitting her down and hugging her tight. "Jenny Lynn, what happened?"

Jennifer crumbled into Kevin's arms, the familiar comfort of his embrace too good to resist. "Nick...he threw me out," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his back and holding him tight.

Kevin rubbed Jen's back as she cried, his hand stroking slowly over her hair. "I'm so sorry, sweetie, you deserve so much better."

"I want him," she said softly, pushing away from him with a sniffle and wiping her eyes. "Kevin, why did you do that today on TRL? You had to have known Nick would react like that..."

"I honestly thought you would have told him about us a long time ago," Kevin replied, his voice slow and steady. He'd thought very carefully about his answer to this question, knowing it would be coming. "He's young, he reacted like the child he is, I'm so sorry." He pulled her back against his chest, smiling when he felt her give in and curl up next to him. "I'll always be here for you, you know that, don't you?"

Jennifer started crying again, burying her head in Kevin's chest. She didn't know that...not if Nick told him... "I couldn't handle losing you, Kevin," she whispered, clutching his shirt between her hands tight. She'd already lost Nick...she couldn't lose her best friend too.

"You won't, ever," Kevin reassured her, lifting her chin with a finger and looking deep into her eyes. "I have always been here for you, and I always will be, Jenny Lynn. Nobody will ever love you more than me," he told her, smiling when he heard her gasp in surprise. "Yeah, I mean that, baby," he whispered, before bending down and brushing his lips over hers lightly, just barely touching her, a soft, gentle caress.

Jennifer was unable to suppress the soft sob that left her mouth at the feel of Kevin's lips against hers, the physical confirmation of his love for her simultaneously amazing and incredibly upsetting. She felt his tongue lick over her lips and moaned softly, her body reacting of its own will to the tender kisses being lavished upon her. "Kevin, no, Kristen...you can't do this..." she pushed him away, shaking her head, as if that would stop the sensations he'd sent rushing through her. "Kevin," she repeated, her breath catching in her throat at the lust in his eyes. For her?

"Kristen's far away," Kevin told her, before standing up and taking her hand, pulling her up with him. "I love you, Jenny Lynn, will you let me show you how much?"

Jennifer stepped into Kevin's embrace, her heart feeling twisted and torn when he kissed her again, her head spinning. "Kevin..." she mumbled into his lips, feeling his hands sliding under her shirt, caressing her bare back.

"Don't say anything," he told her, pushing her backwards through the suite until they reached the bedroom, backing her into the bed, and crawling on top of her with a smile. "Your body can do all the talking from here on out," he told her, stretching his body out on top of hers before kissing her again, his hands tangling in her hair to hold her head firmly in place.

Jennifer's hands went to Kevin's hair as she felt his tongue pushing into her mouth eagerly, stroking over the roof of her mouth and sending a shiver down her spine. She felt a tear fall down her face, as his mouth left hers briefly so he could remove her shirt.

"Shh, don't cry," Kevin whispered, bending down and licking the tears off of her face. "I love you, baby, I'm right here," he told her, his hands roaming over her chest and cupping her breasts.

Jennifer fought back a sob when she felt her body arch into his hands of its own accord, unsure why she was feeling so upset. This was good, right? Kevin loved her, and he was proving it to her with every touch, every kiss, that was so obvious. She couldn't push him away, not when he loved her...she needed him too much to reject him like that.

Kevin deftly undid the clasp on Jennnifer's bra and pulled it off slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. He slid his hands inside her pants and over her hips, smiling when he saw her eyes narrow in reaction. In one smooth movement he pulled her pants and underwear down and off, feeling himself grow impatiently hard at the sight of her lying naked underneath him. "God, you're stunning," he breathed, bending down and licking around the base of her nipple, listening to her strained gasps above him. Sitting back up for a moment, he looked at her carefully before removing his boxers and t-shirt, grinning when her eyes widened at the sight. "What, baby?"

"You're beautiful," Jennifer said in amazement, running her hands over his chest. She'd never really looked at Kevin's body like this...never seen him using it this way...he hadn't looked like this when he was 18.

"And so are you. Your body's grown up," Kevin mused, licking around her stomach, tracing circles from the base of her breasts down to her hips and back up again, feeling her body trembling from his every touch. "You had the body of a girl last time we were together."

"And now?" Jennifer whispered, looking at him as he ran his hands over her, his fingers gently brushing over her nipples, taking her breath away.

"Now you have the body of a woman," Kevin told her, his voice gruff, as he took her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it deeply. He captured her other breast between his fingers and squeezed it gently, smiling when he was rewarded with a deep moan from Jen. "So grown up," he marveled, running his palms down her body to her thighs, before slipping his hands between her legs and spreading them wide. Moving back up her body, he once again kissed her deeply, his tongue diving into her mouth as his hips ground into hers. Only when he felt her pressing back urgently against him did he finally run his fingers down her body, stroking softly between her legs. He groaned with pleasure when he found her wet and waiting for him, sliding a finger inside of her.

"Oh god," Jennifer moaned softly when she felt Kevin caressing her gently, feeling like her entire body was being stroked by just his one hand. All centered on those precious fingers working away between her legs... "Kevin.."

Kevin kissed her again, feeling her hips jerk up into his hand. "Jenny Lynn, come for me," he whispered in her ear, grinning when she just moaned in response. "No?"

"I want you inside of me," Jennifer opened her eyes and looked at him, feeling her heart stop at the expression in his green eyes. "Please...you love me...show me..."

"I love you," Kevin confirmed, shifting himself between her legs until he was positioned at her entrance, pressing firmly against her. Looking deeply into her eyes, he slowly pushed inside of her, smiling when her eyes fluttered shut with pleasure. "God, Jenny Lynn," he groaned when he felt her tighten around him, his head falling to rest in the crook of her neck as he held himself inside of her. "You're still so tight....I remember..."

Jennifer wrapped her arms around Kevin's back and pulled him tight to her, her hips squirming urgently under his. She felt him reach for her legs and wrap them around his back, allowing him to move even deeper within her.

Kevin's lips found Jen's again as he began steadily moving in and out of her, carefully following the rhythm her hips had already unconsciously set earlier. This was heaven, he knew it was, hearing her gasp and moan with his every movement, her fingers tight against his back, her body tightening around him more and more. It had to be... "I love you, Jenny Lynn," he told her again, increasing the speed of his thrusts when he heard her moans begin to grow more labored.

Jennifer's head was thrown back, her body moving with Kevin's in a rhythm all of its own. As his movements picked up speed she moaned, feeling him go deeper and deeper within her with every thrust. Tears formed in her eyes as she felt her body give in to the pleasure Kevin was creating in her, and she cried out when her orgasm hit, wave after wave of the most intense sensations sweeping her away.

Kevin pushed into Jennifer one last time when he felt her dissolve around him, crying out her name as he joined her in the sweetest ecstacy. As he came back down to earth, he held her tight, wiping off the tears that had formed on her cheeks during the labor of their union. "Shh, baby, don't cry," he soothed her, pulling out of her with a sigh and curling her into his arms.

Jennifer didn't reply, she just snuggled into his arms and held him tight, her mind still in a foggy haze from what had just occurred. She felt his hand rub over her tummy and yawned, dropping off to sleep a few minutes later, as he had fully intended her to.

Kevin smiled he heard her breathing grow heavier, and he watched her as her mouth fell open slightly in her sleep. At least she looked happy in her sleep. She was so beautiful....and she wasn't his. With a regretful sigh, he kissed her lips lightly before reaching over and turning off the light, smoothing her hair over her head. As much as he'd tried to convince himself she loved him, that she would realize how much she loved him, he'd just proven otherwise to himself in the worst of ways. As Jennifer had trembled around him with the force of the orgasm he'd created inside of her, as he'd felt his own powerful orgasm rip through his body, the name she'd cried wasn't his.

Jennifer had very clearly called out for Nick.
Chapter 24 by old_archive
Jennifer woke up with a start, gasping in horror when she realized what she'd done. She carefully got out of bed, looking for her clothes on the floor of the room, trying not to wake up Kevin. Spying her shirt, she quickly walked across the room, cursing loudly when she stubbed her toe on the edge of the bed.

"Morning," Kevin opened his eyes lazily to look at her, a smile on his face. "You look beautiful," he was unable to resist telling her, she looked like a goddess, standing in front of him naked, her blond hair glistening in the morning's light.

Jennifer blushed and quickly grabbed her shirt off the floor, slipping it over her head. "I gotta go," she walked to the door, stopping when she heard Kevin call after her. "What?"

"Don't you want the rest of your clothes?" He asked her, the smile on his face growing wider at her discomfort. Maybe he was wrong? She was acting guilty...she hadn't said it was a mistake...

"I'll get them later," Jennifer stammered, letting herself out of the room and closing the door behind her with a heavy sigh. She stood with her back against the door for a moment, catching her breath, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. What the fuck had she done....she loved Nick. What was she doing sleeping with Kevin? Not to mention...Kristen...

"I hope you used a condom this time."

Jennifer's stomach twisted in recognition of the voice before her mind caught up with her, her eyes popping open to stare at Nick. She looked down at her bare legs in horror, realizing what this had to look like. "Nicky..."

Nick was wearing a wifebeater and shorts, a towel slung over his neck, clearly on his way back from the hotel gym. He shook his head slowly and continued down the hall to his room without another word, letting himself in and closing the door firmly behind him.

Jennifer bit her lip as she felt her eyes fill with tears, and she quickly made her way to her own room, groaning when she realized she didn't have her key. She knocked on the door, then banged on it, cursing when Carly didn't answer. "Come on, Carly, WAKE UP!" She shouted, kicking the door.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Carly finally opened the door, frowning when Jennifer pushed past her into the room. "Jen?"

Jennifer walked straight to her bed and flung herself down, buying her face in the pillows. "I fucked up but good this time."

"Where are your pants, Jen?" Carly sat down on the edge of the bed next to Jennifer, looking at her carefully. "Chickie?" she asked carefully when Jennifer didn't reply. "Oh, Jen," she breathed when she realized the woman was sobbing into her pillow, pulling her up and into a hug. "Whatever happened, don't worry, it'll be alright."

Jennifer just cried her eyes out, unable to explain what had happened, the mere fact that it had was hard enough for her to handle at the moment. When she was finally done sobbing, Carly lay her down in the bed and pulled the covers up around her, watching as she fell into a fitful sleep.

"You only got a couple hours, then I gotta wake you up," Carly told Jennifer's sleeping figure, shaking her head slowly. She had been playing with fire, dating Kevin's little brother. And it looked like she'd just gone and gotten good and burned.



Carly sat and flipped channels on the television while she waited for Jennifer to wake up, the only interruption being Brian coming by the room to check on Jennifer. He semeed as clueless as she was about what had happened, only knowing that something had, and it involved both Kevin and Nick. She turned off the tv when Jennifer finally stirred, a wry smile crossing her face, "Sleeping beauty finally awakens?"

"I don't ever want to wake up again," Jennifer groaned and rolled over in bed, burrowing herself under the heavy covers.

"We have a show to do tonight, darling, or have you forgotten?" Carly reminded her softly.

"Fuck." Jennifer cursed, and squirmed around in bed to look at a clock. "Fuck." She repeated, seeing they only had an hour before they had to leave.

"So what in the world happened last night?" Carly asked, a concerned expression on her face. "You come home bright and early, half naked, in tears, and fall asleep....not exactly like you, Jen."

Jennifer sat up in the bed and looked at her friend, feeling tears fill her eyes as she thought about what she'd done. "I slept with Kevin," she said softly, dropping her eyes to the floor when Carly's face fell. Even Carly knew what she'd done was wrong...

"Oh god, Jennifer, why..." Carly had to ask, she knew Jennifer loved Nick. What was she doing sleeping with Kevin?

"Nick, he knows something about me...about Kevin...that Kevin doesn't know," Jennifer started crying in earnest as she told Carly. "He's going to tell Kevin, I know he is, and then he's going to hate me."

"What does Nick know?" Carly was almost afraid to ask the question, hearing the terror in Jennifer's voice. Her friend really thought she was going to lose Kevin over this.

Jennifer shook her head slowly, "I can't...I shouldn't have ever told Nick. I should have told Kevin, and only Kevin, a long time ago."

"So tell Kevin now." Carly shrugged. "Whatever it is, you're his best friend, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Not about this," Jennifer whispered, still staring at the floor. "I was going to tell him last night, but then everything just got so strange...I was so afraid I was going to lose him, Carly."

"What about Nick?"

Jennifer felt her stomach cramp and bit her lip. "Nick won't talk to me."

"He knows what happened last night?"

She nodded slowly, wiping at the tears on her face. "He saw me leaving Kevin's room."

"Oh jesus, Jen, what a mess," Carly sighed, running her hands through her hair and pushing it back from her face. "You gotta dance with the boy tonight, you know."

"God, how?" Jennifer cried, staring at her friend in frustration. "I love Nick, and I don't know how to get him back without losing my best friend in the process. I need him...and he hates me..."

"Just tell him," Carly suggested. "Go to him now, tell him you love him. He's probably in his room, getting ready to leave."

"Now?" Jennifer sniffled, raising her head to look at the door hopefully. "You think?"

"You're going to see him tonight, one way or another, might as well get it overwith now, right?"

"Right." Jennifer nodded. Get it overwith. She didn't want it to be overwith...not ever...not at all. With a sigh, she stood up and walked to the door, going down the hallway to Nick's room before she could think twice about her decision. She knocked once, then pressed her ear to the door to listen, remembering the sniffles she'd heard from inside last night. Nothing. "Nicky?" She called, and knocked again, frowning when she still heard nothing from inside.

"Dammit," she cursed, returning to her room with a frown. "He's not there," she told Carly, shaking her head in frustration. "I guess I get to talk to him tonight, before the show."

"Oh, won't this be fun," Carly sighed. When she'd told Jennifer she had been providing entertainment on the tour, this wasn't exactly the type of entertainment she'd been refering to...not when people got hurt. "I'm so sorry, chickie."

"Yeah, so am I," Jennifer agreed. So very sorry...for everything.
Chapter 25 by old_archive
Jennifer and Carly waited until the last possible moment before hopping a cab to Madison Square Garden. When they arrived, they quickly made their way to the dressing room and got changed, Jennifer eager to get ready and look for Nick.

"Am I done?" Jennifer whirled around quickly for Carly, her attention was in no way on her appearance tonight.

"Brush your hair, put some lipstick on, and pull up your skirt." Carly instructed, shaking her head at her friend's disheveled appearance. "And if you got any Visine, use that too."

Jennifer sighed and obediently did as told, before posing again. "Now?"

"Fine, go," Carly waved in exasperation, rolling her eyes when Jennifer took off out the door. "Good luck," she called after her.

Jennifer found the guys' dressing room without any trouble and knocked on the door, smiling when AJ answered. "Hey, is Nick here?"

"Yeah, but I dunno if he wants to see you," AJ said cautiously, looking at her through narrowed eyes.

"Who is it?" Brian asked, before appearing next to AJ in the doorway. "Jen."

"Brian, I need to talk to Nicky," Jennifer looked at Brian, her stomach cramping when his blue eyes turned cold.

"Nick wants nothing to do with you," Brian spat out, before turning his back on her and walking back into the room.

"Brian!" Jennifer shouted after him in frustration. "Please, I need to talk to Nick, we have to dance together soon..."

"Just go, Jen," AJ told her softly, shaking his head.

"No, please, I need to explain," Jennifer pleaded, tears filling her eyes.

"Explain what?" Nick's frame suddenly filled the doorway, his blue eyes narrowed as he looked at Jen.

"Nicky!" Jennifer stammered, surprised by his appearance.

"Tell me you didn't sleep with him," Nick said, his voice cold and sad, his eyes fixed firmly on hers.

"What?" Jennifer whispered, staring back at him as her heart sunk. "Nicky, please, I love you..."

"Tell me you didn't fuck him." Nick's voice rose as he took a step back, shaking his head. "You can't, can you."

"Nick, it was an accident," Jennifer tried to step into the room, but he pushed the door into her, backing her out into the hallway. "Nick!"

"No," Nick shook his head, the hurt clearly visible in his eyes. "I trusted you, Jen."

"Nick," Jennifer tried again as he closed the door in her face, the sad expression in his eyes forever burned in her memory. "I love you," she whispered pitifully before walking back down the hall, in search of Carly and that Visine she surely would need now.



"Come on," Carly grabbed Jennifer's hand and dragged her on stage, walking her to her mark on stage, like a mother would lead a child. "Now do not move until Nick gets here."

"I should leave, tell them I got sick," Jennifer hissed at Carly, her breath catching in her throat when she saw the guys running on stage as screams filled the air. "Shit, too late."

"See ya," Carly waved her fingers at Jen before spinning away to grab Kevin's hand, starting the opening number.

Jennifer turned around in time to see Nick's eyes drop to her hand as he grabbed it, pulling her roughly into his arms for the first dance. "Nick..."

"Don't say a word," He held his hand over the microphone around his mouth to speak to her quickly, his voice like a dagger through her heart. "I swear to god, if you say so much as a word, I'm going to hurt you, me, Kevin, I don't know who. But just let me get through tonight. Now shut up."

Jennifer was stunned into silence, and she nodded her reply, feeling his fingers dig into the skin on her back as he spun her around.

The show definitely went down in history as one of the worst in Jennifer's recent memory, she kept staring at Nick, and would jump anytime anyone touched her, no matter which Backstreet Boy it was. Nick was treating her as if she were a rag doll, throwing her all over the stage recklessly, and she fell twice as a result. Kevin tried to console her, but she was running from him as much as possible, painfully aware of Nick's eyes watching them. When it was finally over, she ran offstage and to the dressing room. She threw her coat over her costume, grabbed her bag, and ran outside, making it out of the arena before the crowd and flagging a cab with ease.

Only once she was back in her hotel room, alone, did Jennifer finally feel like she could breathe again. She sat down on the bed and stared at the floor, wondering what on earth she could possibly do to make things right again. She loved Nick, she knew she did....but she didn't want to lose Kevin either. She looked up in surprise at the knock on the door, not expecting anyone to arrive for a while. Her eyes widened when she saw Brian standing on the other side, and she looked at him carefully. "What do you want?"

"Just this. Kevin won't fire you, he loves you and you're his best friend. But if you know what's right, you'll leave." Brian told her, his eyes blazing with anger. "How could you, Jen, Nick loved you so much..."

"I love Nick, Brian, I swear to god, I never meant to..." Jennifer started crying again, turning around and walking into the room to grab a box of tissues off of the table. Brian followed her into the room, and she sat down on the side of the bed, blowing her nose loudly.

"That's bullshit, Jen, you cheated on him, that's pretty hard to accidentally do, isn't it?" Brian rolled his eyes and sat down next to her. "Nick also won't tell me who you slept with."

Jennifer gasped and looked at Brian. Oh jesus...she couldn't tell him..."He didn't tell you?"

"I have a very good feeling I know who it is," Brian sighed heavily. "Only one person could cause this mess..."

"Brian, I love Nick, I want him back, please, tell me what to do!" She begged him.

Brian shook his head slowly. "It was Kevin, right?"

Jennifer just cried harder, burying her head in her hands when Brian groaned. "I'm so sorry..."

"Kevin," Brian said in exasperation, running his hands through his hair. "What the hell was he thinking."

"He said he loved me," Jennifer said softly, breathing heavily, trying to calm her tears.

"I'm sure he does." Brian said sarcastically, standing up with a sigh. "Look, Jen, what I said before, I mean it. If you're smart, you won't be here for tomorrow night's performance."

Jennifer nodded and watched as Brian let himself out of the room, the door closing quietly behind him. He was right...she'd caused enough problems between Kevin and Nick. If she was smart, she would just leave.

But how could she just leave Nick?
Chapter 26 by old_archive
"GO AWAY!" Jennifer screamed at the knock on the door, not caring who it was. She didn't want to see anyone, anymore, right now she was just mad at everyone.

"Jenny Lynn, open up darlin'," Kevin drawled softly through the door, knocking again. "Come on, baby, I can hear you crying."

"Go away, Kevin," Jennifer shook her head stubbornly and refused to move, her eyes widening when she heard a click and the door opened. "What the fuck?"

"Hotel managers," Kevin shrugged and held up his copy of the key to her room as he walked in, sitting down on the bed next to her and pulling her into his arms. "Shh, Jenny Lynn, don't cry," he said in a soothing voice, his hands rubbing her back consolingly.

"No, Kevin," Jennifer pushed him away and got out of bed, her heart pounding from his touch. "You need to leave, now, I have to pack...fix this mess from home."

"Leave?" Kevin's eyes widened in surprise, and he grabbed her hand, shaking his head slowly. "No, you're not going anywhere, Jenny Lynn."

"I'm leaving the tour, Kevin, I'm going home," she replied, letting out a soft cry when he pulled her down onto his lap, his arms wrapping around her and trapping her in place. "Kevin, stop it."

"Stop what, Jenny Lynn?" Kevin said softly, as he bent down and nuzzled her neck, his tongue flickering delicately over her skin. "Stop this?"

"Yes," Jennifer struggled against Kevin's arms, but he was stronger than she was, and she remained solidly planted in his lap. "Kevin, I love Nick, this is wrong."

"You love me, Jenny Lynn, I know you do." Kevin replied, raising his head so he could look into her eyes. "Don't you."

"Of course I love you, Kevin," Jennifer whispered, her head spinning as she tried to think straight. "But that's different."

"Why is it different?" Kevin whispered back, his lips barely an inch from hers.

Jennifer turned her head to the side, feeling Kevin's breath against her ear. "It's a different kind of love, Kevin."

"I don't see how," Kevin replied, running his hands down the sides of her body to cup her rear, pulling her hips into him with a soft groan. "I love you, Jenny Lynn."

"Not like that," Jennifer argued, pushing against his chest in her frustration. "Kevin, let me go..."

"What can Nick do for you that I can't, Jenny?" Kevin asked her, smiling when she didn't immediately reply. "I make you feel good, don't I, baby?"

"Kevin, please..." Jennifer begged, as she felt his hands slide under her shirt and pull it off, his arms quickly returning to trap her on his lap. "Don't do this..."

"I love you, baby, I don't see the problem," Kevin bent down and kissed the hollow of her neck, smiling when he heard her moan softly. "See, you like this."

"I love Nick," she said, trying again in vain to get off of his lap, feeling completely exposed and unprotected, the air in the room feeling cold against her bare skin.

"If Nick loves you so much, baby, where is he now," Kevin asked her as he unclasped her bra and pulled it off of her, the horrified expression on her face telling him he'd hit a nerve. "I love you, I'm here."

"Nick does love me," Jennifer protested weakly, scared in her heart that Kevin was right.

"If he loved you, he would be here, wouldn't he, Jenny Lynn," Kevin said with a shrug before taking her breasts in his hands, his fingers running over her nipples, goosebumps forming on her skin in reaction. "Nick wouldn't let a woman he loved be with another man, now, would he."

"No...."

"He didn't want to see you, did he." Kevin didn't expect a reply, didn't need one, and kissed her gently before whispering in her ear. "I love you, Jenny Lynn, and that's all that matters."

Jennifer closed her eyes as she felt Kevin's mouth close on her nipple, squeezing them shut against the tears she was sure were soon to fall.

At least Kevin loved her.

And that was all that mattered.



"I have to leave," Jennifer was packing, throwing clothes into her bags as quickly as possible. She wanted to be on an airplane and far away from New York before she saw Kevin, Nick, or anyone again.

"You can't leave," Carly argued with her loudly over the music blaring from the radio in the corner. "Kevin said..."

"Forget what KEVIN said," Jennifer groaned, glaring at the radio. "And will you turn that off?"

"No, the guys are about to be on," Carly replied, sitting down on the bed next to her. "And Kevin is your boss, and if he refuses to let you out of your contract, you can't leave the tour."

"Kevin's COUSIN was the one who told me to get off of the tour," Jennifer shot back, "and I highly doubt Kevin's going to sue me over this. What's he going to do when I get up in court and say I left the tour because he wouldn't stop coming on to me?"

"Coming on to you?" Carly snickered, then rolled her eyes. "You slept with him, babe, twice. I didn't spend last night in AJ's room by choice, you know, there was nowhere else to go."

"I was wondering where you were!" Jennifer's mouth dropped open, and she looked at her friend in surprise. "Good news, finally! So you and AJ?"

"Nothing happened, chickie, I just needed a place to sleep. I heard some sounds coming from this room when I got back last night, figured no matter who was inside, I didn't want to find out." She laughed. "I found AJ downstairs in the bar, he let me crash on his couch."

"Oh." Jennifer's head shot up as she heard Kevin's voice coming from the radio. "The interview's starting?"

"Yeah," Carly crossed her legs and stared at the radio as the interview began, laughing when they started with the 'boxers or briefs' question. "Don't they normally work up to that?"

Jennifer couldn't help but laugh, and nodded solemnly. "I guess it's an icebreaker."



"Now, let's talk marital status," the DJ snickered, looking at the boys sitting across from him in the studio. "I know we got married ones, but who's single?"

"I am," AJ said with a grin, "so's Howie."

"And me," Nick added, much to everyone's surprise. "All three of us are single at the same time, now."

"Wait, I thought Nick was dating one of your dancers?" The DJ asked questioningly.

"Not anymore." Nick replied, shooting a glare at Kevin.

Kevin shook his head slowly, but said nothing, looking at the DJ.

"Ok..." The DJ checked his notes before continuing. "That kills the next question about Kevin's best friend."

"No, why don't you ask that question," Nick interrupted, still staring at Kevin. "What kind of best friend is he? Or she?"

"Why don't we move on," Kevin said softly, his green eyes flashing angrily at Nick. "Leave her out of this."

"Sure," the DJ said quickly, sensing the animosity between the two men. "Brian, Kevin, you two are the married ones, any chance we'll see some Backstreet babies in the near future?"

"Why don't you ask Kevin." Nick said, the hurt dripping from his voice.

"What?" Kevin and Brian said the word at the same time, both of them looking at Nick in surprise.

"Nicky, calm down," AJ warned him quietly, pulling off his sunglasses to stare at him when Nick stood up, throwing his chair back. "Nick!"

"No, fuck this," Nick pulled off his headset and threw it on the table, shaking his head in frustration. "Kevin's already had a Backstreet Baby, ask him about making it sometime. I'm sure it's quite a story." And with that, he stormed out of the studio, AJ following close on his heels.

"Nick's been a little upset lately," Kevin said quickly into the microphone, wondering what the hell he was talking about. "No Backstreet babies in the immediate future, no, I can promise you that...."
Chapter 27 by old_archive
Carly was staring at Jennifer, her mouth open wide, eyes popping out of her head. "Why did Nick say that to Kevin?"

Jennifer had fallen to the floor when she'd heard Nick's snap at Kevin, and was sitting where she'd landed, a dazed expression on her face. "Oh god," her head whipped up to stare at the radio as she heard Nick curse and announce Kevin's baby. "Oh my god," she repeated, feeling like she couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening, not like this...oh god no...

"Jennifer?" Carly said cautiously, looking at her friend sitting on the floor. Her face had gone white as a sheet, and she was shaking from head to toe. "Are you ok?"

Jennifer just shook her head no, unable to speak at the moment. She thought she heard her blood rushing in her ears, the floor seemed to be spinning under her. Oh my god.

"Jen?" Carly tried again, sitting down on the floor next to her friend. "Ok, you're starting to scare me now, babe, what the hell was Nick talking about?"

Jennifer started to cry, her hands covering her face as sobs wracked her body. All she had ever wanted to do was tour with her best friend...she thought it would be so much fun. And now she was going to lose him, in the worst of ways.

Carly reached over and smacked off the radio with a bang, deciding it had done enough damage for one day. The room silent, she pulled Jennifer into her arms and held her tight as she cried, rubbing her back consolingly. "A baby, Jen?" she finally said, when it seemed as if she had calmed down.

Jennifer sat up and shook her head, as she wiped the tears off her face with a wad of tissues. "A pregnancy, not a baby."

"Who's pregnancy?" Carly said softly, as Jen fought back another sob. "Yours...Kevin's baby?"

She nodded.

"Oh damn, girl," Carly breathed, shaking her head slowly. "And he never knew."

Jennifer nodded again, stopping in mid movement when a firm knock sounded on the door. She started crying again as she looked at the door, terrified to find out who was on the other side, and what they wanted to say to her.

"Do you want me to get that?" Carly asked her, looking at her carefully. She had never, ever, seen Jennifer acting this bad...this upset. And she'd been pretty upset over Nick in the past. But not like this.

"No," Jennifer whispered, standing up with a frown. She couldn't put this off...whoever it was, whatever was gonna happen, it was time for her to find out now. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the door and opened it, finding a red faced Kevin standing on the other side. "Hi."

"Jenny Lynn?"

Kevin's voice sounded so gentle, so tender, she started to cry again at the sound. She didn't deserve it, not after what she'd done... "Kevin, I'm so, so sorry..."

"Nick said I had a baby?" Kevin asked her, his green eyes wide in his confusion. "What was he talking about?"

Jennifer looked at Kevin, unable to stop from trembling when she saw the expression on his face. "Back in high school, when we....I got pregnant, Kevin." She paused, unable to tear her eyes away from his face, as she finally told him the secret she'd been keeping for so long. "I had an abortion."

Kevin's face turned hard, his eyes cold, as he looked at her in horror. "An abortion."

"I was only 15, Kevin, what was I going to do?" Jennifer whispered, still staring at him, wishing she could read something other than hate in his eyes. "I was so scared."

"So you TELL me Jennifer, you talk to me about it!" Kevin shouted, oblivious to Jennifer's flinch at his scream. "That was my baby too! How could you!"

"Kevin, please," Jennifer begged him, crying harder when he turned away. "Oh god, no.."

"I just need some time alone," Kevin shook his head, and walked down the hall, stopping at his room. He looked up at her one last time through narrowed eyes, sighing heavily. "Of all the things in the world, Jenny Lynn, I never expected this. Not from you, not ever." And with that, he went into his room.

Jennifer collapsed in tears where she stood, not caring that the door was wide open, not carrying about much of anything. She had lost her best friend, she had lost her boyfriend...there was nothing to care about. Kevin...Nick...she wanted them both, and she'd lost them both.

How had she gone so wrong?
Chapter 28 by old_archive
"Call me when you get to Orlando?" Carly hugged Jennifer tight, unable to believe her friend was really leaving.

"I will," Jennifer promised, picking up her bags and sighing heavily. "Hey, look at it this way, you got a single for the rest of the tour."

"No I don't, I'm gonna get stuck with whoever replaces you," Carly wrinkled her nose. "And I bet she won't be anywhere near as much fun."

"I'll call you soon," Jennifer promised, letting herself out of the room and walking down the hall, pressing the button for the elevator. She waited impatiently until the door opened and stepped inside, not noticing another door in the hall open, and a figure slip out to follow her. When the elevator opened on the lobby she got out, her eyes widening when she saw a familiar baby blue covered head walking towards her. "Nicky..."

Nick's head shot up at the sound of her voice, and he shook his head, waving her off. "Kevin's upstairs already, leave me alone."

"I don't want Kevin," Jennifer told him, her heart breaking when he just glared at her. "Why don't you believe me?"

"If you didn't want him, why did you sleep with him?" He asked her, his blue eyes narrowed.

"I was scared..." Jennifer said softly, her gaze dropping to the floor. "Nicky, I love you, please."

"Well, I don't love you," he shot back, shrugging nonchalantly. "Never have."

Jennifer gasped and shook her head, refusing to believe him. "No, Nick, you said, you love me, I love you, please, I made a mistake."

"I lied, what can I say," Nick snickered, walking into the elevator as it arrived. "Wanted to see what it was like to sleep with Kevin's best friend." As the doors closed in front of him, he started laughing, each hearty cackle sending another shiver down her spine.

Jennifer stood where Nick had left her, unable to move, hearing that now familiar blood rush in her ears. He couldn't have meant that...he loved her...she knew he did.

"Jenny Lynn?" Kevin was standing in front of her, and he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight. "Baby, don't cry..."

"I have to go," Jennifer argued, but Kevin dragged her back into the elevator, and into his hotel room. "I have a flight..."

"You're not going anywhere," Kevin told her firmly, standing in front of her and looking at her. "Hey, look at me."

Jennifer shook her head, unable to face his eyes. Not after what he'd said before, after what Nick had said...she couldn't see anymore hate.

"Look at me, Jennifer," he commanded, his hand lifting her face to his when she refused to comply.

"No, don't do this to me," Jennifer shook her head and squirmed away from him, tears filling her eyes. "Please, don't...I can't take you hating me..."

"I don't hate you...listen to me." he started singing softly, his voice growing stronger as the song continued.

I will love you more than that
I won't say those words, then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that

"I heard what he said to you, you deserve better, baby...you deserve me."

Jen gasped and turned to stare at him, unable to believe what he had just said. "You don't mean that..."

He smiled lightly and continued singing.

Baby you deserve much better
What's the use in holding on
Don't you see it's now or never
Just why you can't be friends
Baby knowing in the end

Oh I will love you more than that...

"We had a chance once and didn't even know it...please, Jenny Lynn, let me try again?"

Jennifer was sure her heart stopped beating as her mind understood the meaning behind the song, and his words. Never in a million years did she expect to hear this, not from him... "Oh god...I don't know...that wasn't a chance, Kevin, it was a mistake."

Kevin pulled Jennifer into his arms and held her tight, his hands steadily stroking her back as she trembled. "Why are you shaking, baby? Everything's ok. And it could have been a chance, if you had told me.

Jennifer was thinking over the song Kevin had been singing...those words....Nick had said that to her. He would love her more than that...she was Nick's Jenny, not his whore. She would never forget that night, no matter how things ended up in the long run, that night, she knew...she knew...she gasped as she realized what she knew.

"What, baby?" Kevin tried to kiss her, his brow wrinkling when she turned her head away. "Jenny Lynn, I love you, don't turn away from me."

Jennifer stepped back from Kevin, feeling like everything suddenly made sense in her life again. "I will never, ever turn away from you Kevin. But I also will never, ever love you like that."

Kevin's eyes widened, and he stared at her, shaking his head, "no, you do, Jenny Lynn, I know you do. Didn't I make you feel good?"

Jennifer nodded solemnly. "Yes, Kevin, you did. Sex...just like a whore."

"No, baby," Kevin argued, reaching for her hand.

"Yes, Kevin," Jennifer repeated, pulling her hand out of his grasp. "Nick...that's making love. THAT's more than that, Kevin, not what we have."

"You're wrong."

"I'm right, you know I'm right," she said softly, looking at him steadily. "Kevin, think about it. You didn't want me until I was with Nick. You're using sex to try to keep me, in a way you've never had me. Please, Kevin, let me go..."

Kevin's eyes began to shine brightly as he stared at her, his lower lip trembling slightly. "No, Jenny Lynn, you're mine, you always have been."

"Not that way, Kevin, I never have been," Jennifer replied, her voice as gentle as she could possibly make it. "Think about it, Kevin, even that song..." she sang another verse to him, knowing from the expression on his face he understood what she was saying.

Baby he would say whatever
It takes to keep you alive
Tell the truth between the lines*

"Look what you did, Kevin, just to keep me?" Jennifer's eyes filled with tears when Kevin let out a soft sob, his head falling into his hands. "I'll always be here, don't you know that?"

"Nick....the way he looked at you, the way he touched you...I wanted that for myself," Kevin looked at Jennifer, tears brimming his eyes. "He was stealing you from me..."

"Never, Kevin, he will never do that," Jennifer said firmly as he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight as they both cried. "And you have that, with Kristen. Just not with me."

"Kristen, oh my god," Kevin said in a pained voice, his arms tightening around Jennifer. "What the hell have I done?"

"You made a mess, Kev," Jennifer said, looking at him and smiling wryly. "And I was all too willing of a partner in crime."

"Nick," Kevin felt her stiffen in his arms at the name, and sighed, feeling awful for the problems he'd caused. "I'm sure he didn't mean what he said to you."

"I'm not so sure about that," Jennifer said softly, shaking her head. "I lied to him, he's right about that."

"You love him, right?"

"More than anything, Kevin."

"Then I'll help you make things right." He said firmly. He'd made this mess? Well, dammit, he would fix it too.

Lyrics from More Than That by Franciz & LePoint/Adam Anders ©2000
Chapter 29 by old_archive
"So you're going to do what?" Carly asked Jen, sitting across from her on the bed.

"Kevin said that he's going to make sure I get Nick alone at some point tomorrow," Jennifer explained. "He figured that we might as well take two days, give him some time to calm down, since we don't have a show until tomorrow night anyway."

"You're not leaving the tour then."

Jennifer smiled and nodded, "nope, wasn't planning on it."

"Good." Carly grinned, and grabbed her friend in a hug. "I worry when you get all upset like that, you know."

"You worry," Jennifer snorted sarcastically. She wasn't feeling completely back to normal, but she was definitely feeling a thousand times better. With Kevin as an ally, it couldn't be long before she was able to convince Nick to take her back, right?

"And what of Mr. Richardson?" Carly asked with a raised eyebrow. "Having any problems with the marital infidelity thing?"

Jennifer made a face and rolled her eyes, "he was going to call Kristen when I left his room before. As far as I know, anyway, she doesn't know that he's been fooling around, I don't know why she left Orlando."

"I think you're not the only girl Kevin's cheated on Kristen with," Carly said in a confessional tone, smirking when Jennifer stared at her in surprise. "Oh, come on, don't tell me that's so hard for you to believe."

"It is, actually," Jennifer shook her head. "He loves Kristen, he only slept with me because he was trying to use sex to keep me around. That's all there is, ever was, ever will be."

Carly sighed heavily and ran her hands through her hair. "For your sake, and Nick's, I hope you're right. But I have a very strong feeling you're wrong."

"I'm right, I know I'm right," Jennifer said firmly. After everything she'd been through, didn't she deserve a happy ending?



Nick stepped out onto the stage, looking out at the dark arena in frustration. "What the hell," he grumbled, shuffling his feet as he walked to center stage. "What kind of rehearsal is this?" He shouted to the empty seats in front of him. Goddamn Kevin, telling him there's some urgent, important rehearsal he has to be at, then nobody's here. Of course. "What the.." he cursed softly as a spotlight turned on, shining brightly on him.

"Ok, this isn't funny," Nick held his hand over his eyes to block his eyes from the bright light, trying to see who was in the area. "Hello? Fuck this, I'm leaving," he turned to leave, stopping dead in his tracks when a voice filled the air, singing a song he knew all too well.

I can see that you've been crying
You can't hide it with a lie
What's the use in you denying
The words you have at home

Nick's mouth dropped open as he heard the singing, trying to place the source of the beautiful voice, but he had never heard a woman sing like this before. Her voice was clear and strong, and filled with such emotion...

Baby you deserve much better
What's the use in holding on
Don't you see it's now or never
Just why you can't be friends
Baby knowing in the end
I will love you more than that

Jennifer stepped onto the stage, microphone in hand, singing her heart out. She saw Nick's eyes flash when they recognized her coming out of the wings, and prayed he wouldn't leave. She smiled at him, and continued singing.

There's not a day that passes by
I don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's not too late to change your mind
And take my hand, don't say goodbye

"What are you doing, Jenny?" Nick asked her softly, his expression looking sad and hurt.

Jennifer just shook her head, and finished the song.

Oh I will love you more than that
I won't say those words, then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that*

"I don't want Kevin, I want you, Nick," she said firmly, walking to him on the stage and taking his hands. "Please, Nicky, I know I screwed up, can you ever forgive me?"

"Kevin wants you, I can't compete with him, you said it yourself," Nick protested, shaking his head. "You can't say no to him, can you?"

"I can, and I have," Jennifer replied, looking directly into Nick's eyes, needing to see his expression as she spoke. "Remember when you told me I was your Jenny?"

Nick let out a soft sob and nodded, remembering so many other things as well.

"I realized...I am. No matter what Kevin does, says, whatever, Nick, I'm your Jenny, and I always will be."

Nick's eyes filled with tears, and he was barely able to choke out the words, "But...Kevin..."

Jennifer smiled wryly and gestured to the empty arena, "Who do you think is working the spotlight? We're all alone here, except for him..."

Nick shaded his eyes to look into the light, and was rewarded with a nod from the light. "That's Kevin?"

"THANKS KEV, YOU CAN LEAVE NOW!" Jennifer shouted, before turning back to Nick. She smiled when the light bounced once more around them. "And now we're alone."

Nick stared at Jenny, his blue eyes wide. "I love you so much, Jenny, losing you again would kill me."

"Never, ever again," Jennifer reassured Nick, as he bent down and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against him, amazed by how right Nick's body could feel against hers. "I love you," she breathed, as he pushed her down onto the stage, no longer thinking about where she was, who could be around. The only thing that mattered was Nick, and proving to him how much she loved him.



Kevin fully had intended to leave after Jennifer asked him to, he really had. But when he'd heard Nick tell Jennifer he loved her, something in the tone of his voice made him pause. He sat down and watched as the couple slowly begin to make love on the stage, gently, tenderly undressing each other.

He knew he shouldn't be watching, that it was wrong, a private moment, definitely not something to be shared. But as he watched Nick make love to Jennifer, he realized how wrong he'd had everything.

When he'd talked to Jenny Lynn, he'd told her that he hated seeing the way Nick looked at her. And now he realized how backwards he'd had it...

Nick loved Jennifer. Kevin could see that, it was so clear, in every touch, every sound, every word he said to her. So what....

But as he watched, he saw the way Jennifer was looking at Nick, touching him, moving with him. It was different than the way she'd been with him....his brow furrowed as he tried to discern what that difference was. He felt a pang in his heart when he finally identified the pattern he was seeing. Nick loved Jennifer, but Jennifer was in love with Nick too. It was one thing to hear her say it, but to see it...

THAT was what he wanted. He wanted Jennifer to look at him the way she was looking at Nick. And, the way he saw it, there would be only one way to accomplish that.

Get rid of Nick.

Lyrics from More Than That by Franciz & LePoint/Adam Anders ©2000
Chapter 30 by old_archive
Kevin sat, spellbound, as the two lovers reached their peak, feeling his own senses tingling with the eroticism of what he was witnessing. And Jennifer...she was so beautiful....she never looked like this when she was with him, never sounded like that.

He watched as they slowly stood up, giggling over what they'd just done, and dressed. They took each other's hand and walked out of the arena, not the slightest bit aware that anyone had been watching them the entire time.

Kevin remained still for a few more minutes, collecting his thoughts. How had he been so blind, so stupid? How had he not seen his younger brother seducing his best friend like that? He'd practically raised Nick, been like a father to him. Jenny Lynn had always been around, Nick had always known her. Where had he gotten the gall...how DARE he try to steal her from him? After everything he'd done for him.

And now Jenny was in love with him. Nick was getting to see a side of Jennifer that Kevin had never known. She was his best friend, it just wasn't fair!! He was positive now, the only way to her heart would be to remove Nick from the equation. Nick had stolen it, and it was time for Kevin to get it back.

It wasn't an easy situation, he sighed to himself, sitting back in the chair and stretching. He loved Nick, he was his little brother, he didn't want to hurt him. He would never want to hurt him. But how would he get Nick away from Jenny Lynn?

Somehow, he would figure something out, he thought to himself, standing up and leaving the arena. Jennifer was his, she always had been. Nick had somehow made her forget, that was all. But without Nick around...she would be his again. Of that he was sure.



"Jennifer...." Carly whistled at her through the bathroom door. "We gotta move, girl, the buses are gonna leave without us."

"Yeah, yeah," Jennifer opened the door and made a face at her friend. "If they leave without us, can we fly?"

"Very funny." Carly shoved Jen's bag into her hand and pushed her out the door. "You'll be fine, you're just stressing."

"Kevin swears he's ok with me and Nick, but..."

"I know, I've seen the looks," Carly sighed, marching them down the hall and pressing the button for the elevator. "Has Nick noticed?"

"I don't think so, he only does it when he's not looking," Jennifer replied, frowning. "At least I hope not." Kevin had gotten in the habit of staring at Nick when the younger man wasn't looking, and the expression on his face when he did so would make anyone's blood turn cold. The look in his eyes, the set of his jaw, was one of pure hate, and Jennifer wished she knew where it came from. It would disappear whenever Nick would look at him, or anyone else, for that matter, but whenever Kevin thought nobody was looking...it was awful.

"Poor Nick," Carly looked at Jennifer when she refused to get into the open elevator. "It's just a ride on the tour bus, girl, you've done it before, you'll do it again. Get in."

Jennifer reluctantly stepped into the elevator, feeling her heart sinking as it moved down. "I don't know, I just have had such a bad feeling lately, something's been off with Kevin."

"How's wifey?" Carly smirked, shaking her head when Jennifer's face paled. "You having an attack of the conscience now? A little late."

"She's supposed to be joining the tour next week," Jennifer said softly. "Kristen...I considered her a friend, but look what I did...."

"Ok, now's not the time for this conversation," Carly said quickly, as the elevator opened into a lobby full of teenage girls.

"No shit," Jennifer muttered, walking quickly behind Carly out to the parking lot, where she turned to her friend. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, when we get to the hotel," Carly hugged her friend tight, sighing when she saw the tears in her eyes. "You're just going to be on a tour bus with the two of them. Nothing's gonna happen."

"It already did happen, Carly," Jennifer replied, a feeling of doom sweeping over her. "I'm just paying for it now. And I have a horrible feeling I'm just going to keep on paying for it...."



"Gundam time, I need to wake up my boyfriend." Jennifer looked at the clock and grinned, standing up as Brian laughed at her. "What?"

"I tried so hard to understand that silly cartoon," Brian smiled. "It just didn't make sense."

"Me neither," Kevin commiserated with Brian, his eyes twinkling as he joked with Jennifer. "I bet she was just using Gundam to get into Nick's pants."

Jennifer's face fell, and she looked at Kevin, shaking her head slowly. "That's not funny."

"She's right, Train, it's not," AJ seconded the opinion.

"I'm just kidding, Jenny Lynn, you know that," Kevin reassured her quickly, standing up to hug her. He had to watch himself, comments like that just kept popping out as his resentment for Nick grew and grew. It was getting bad, even he knew that.

"I've always liked anime." Jennifer said firmly, pushing Kevin away with a frown. "And you know that."

Kevin nodded, putting the most apologetic expression on his face he was capable of. "I'm so sorry Jenny Lynn, can you ever forgive me?" He asked her, his voice dramatically sweeping through the bus.

Jennifer laughed and shook her head at Kevin's antics. "Yeah, Richie, forgiven." That done, she walked to the back of the bus to wake up Nick. "Hey, sleeping beauty," she kissed his forehead, laughing when he batted her face away in his sleep. "Nicky..." She kissed him on the lips, bending over him on the bed and running her hands through his hair.

"Wha..." Nick woke up with a start, his eyes opening quickly to look at her in surprise. "I like being woken up like that," he grinned, pulling her onto him on the bed with a giggle.

Jennifer laughed and kissed him again, smacking at his hand as it tried to slide up her shirt. "I was waking you up for Gundam."

"You woke something else up too," Nick told her with a sexy grin, his voice dropping an octave.

"Everyone is still awake, don't be silly," Jennifer shook her head and pushed at his chest, laughing when he refused to let her get up. "Nicky..." Kevin had been alright so far, she'd only caught him glaring at Nick once, but she wasn't about to push her luck.

"Come on, baby," Nick groaned, grabbing her rear and grinding himself into her. "Don't you want me?"

"Oh wow, you really are awake, aren't you," Jennifer breathed, feeling him pressing urgently into her thigh.

"Yup," Nick kissed her again, his tongue diving deep into her. "Just be quiet, nobody will know," he reassured her, one of his hands sliding under her shirt, his fingers dancing over her skin.

Jennifer was unable to hold back a soft moan when she felt Nick's fingers brush over her nipple, just barely teasing the delicate skin. "Nicky..."

"Oh, they'll know, alright."

Jennifer jumped away from Nick at the sound of Kevin's voice, cursing when she hit her head on the bunk above them. "Fuck."

"Jesus, Kevin, what the fuck," Nick glared at Kevin, pulling Jennifer's shirt down for her as she rubbed her head. "You ok?" He looked at her, concerned, touching the red spot on her forehead.

"I'll be fine," she sighed, climbing out of the bunk and looking up at Kevin. "Thanks, Kev, really," she said sarcastically.

"Oh come on, I couldn't resist," Kevin laughed, pointing out AJ was laughing as well. "You should have seen your expressions, that was classic."

"Fuck you." Nick replied, standing up and leading Jennifer back to the main room of the bus. "Don't you have to go to bed? Old men need their sleep."

"I was thinking I might watch Gundam," Kevin shrugged, smirking when Nick's head spun around to look at him. "No?"

"Go to bed, Kevin," Brian said firmly, looking at Kevin. He didn't know what had gotten into his cousin lately, but something was wrong, and he didn't like it, not one bit.

Kevin yawned loudly and stretched, looking to make sure Jennifer was watching him. "Have fun with your boy, Jenny Lynn," he smirked, before walking back to his bed and crawling in.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Nick asked Brian, shaking his head. "Ever since Jennifer and I got back together he's been acting like I'm made of shit."

"I think he's having some jealousy issues, Nicky," Howie said softly. "He'll get over it."

"He better," Nick grumbled, wrapping his arms around Jennifer and holding her tight. "I'm not letting you go."

"Good," Jennifer grinned, kissing Nick quickly before settling in to watch the tv show. "I'm not planning on going anywhere, either."

"Yeah, he'll get over it," Brian said firmly, wishing he believed his own words. But he knew Kevin...and one thing Kevin never, ever did, was just get over something. He was a man of action.

The question was, what would that action be....
Chapter 31 by old_archive
Jennifer danced around on the stage, laughing when Nick tried to tickle her on top of the stairs. She loved performing like this, with her two favorite guys, there was nothing better in the world. Throwing her hands in the air, she spun around, her eyes flying open in surprise when her foot caught on a loose board on the floor. "Shit," she cursed as she felt herself lose her balance, the world seeming to go in slow motion as she fell to the lower stage with a thud. She lay there, dazed for a moment, before trying to sit up.

"Jennifer!" Kevin fell to his knees next to her, his eyes wide with horror. "Are you ok?"

Jennifer groaned when she felt a pain shoot through her foot, but she shook her head firmly. "I'm fine."

"Jenny," Nick appeared next to her, his hands immediately going to her face to turn her to him. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she repeated, her face white as a sheet from the pain in her ankle. "Help me get up?" she asked Nick, grabbing his hands.

Nick nodded and pulled her up, his arm going around her back when her leg buckled under her weight. "You have to go to the hospital," he told her. "And I'm going with you." He wasn't going to let her go alone, no way.

"No," Jennifer looked at the sea of faces watching their every move and shook her head. "I'm finishing the show, and so are you."

"You can't even stand, Jenny Lynn, how are you going to do the show?" Kevin frowned. "No, you're going to the hospital. Let's get you offstage."

Jennifer protested as Nick picked her up and carried her backstage, amid the sound of screams from the arena outside. "You have to go back on."

"I'm going to the hospital with you!" Nick argued, setting her down on a couch outside. "Did anyone call an ambulance?"

"The stretcher should be here in a second," Kevin replied. "And you have to finish the show, Nick, Jenny Lynn's right." He had to fight back a smile at the helpless expression on Nick's face at his words, Nick knew he had to listen to him.

"No..." Nick tried to argue, but he knew better, he saw the look in Kevin's eyes. "Jenny, I'm so sorry, I want to go," he grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight, feeling awful for making her go alone.

"Go finish the show, Nicky," Jennifer told him, smiling at the concern she saw on his face. "I'll be fine, I swear.."

"Come on, Nick, we gotta get back out there," Kevin said firmly, rolling his eyes when he heard AJ starting to sing. The fans at this show were getting an impromptu Johnny-No-Name show, so it seemed, as Brian, AJ, and Howie tried to keep the audience occupied.

"I love you," Nick said softly, bending down and kissing Jen.

"I love you too," she smiled, and waved him off. "Now go, finish your show."

"Ok." Nick sighed, and kissed her one more time before heading back out onstage behind Kevin, finishing up yet another night of the Backstreet Boys World Tour.



Jennifer looked up with a smile when she saw Nick run into the hospital room, followed closely by Kevin. "Hey," she kissed him and squeezed his hand reassuredly, laughing at the expression on his face. "It's just a sprained ankle, I'm going to live."

"I was so worried," Nick kissed her again, running his hand over her cheek. "So you'll be ok?"

"I can even dance again in a couple days," Jennifer nodded. "Just a sprain. I can't believe I tripped like that, what a clutz."

"A floorboard was loose," Kevin said with a frown. He'd gone back on stage to look, and sure enough, a board was sticking up, somehow a screw must have popped out or something....

"I'm fine," Jennifer gestured to the crutches in the corner, "and if you give me those, we can leave."

"Really?" Nick grabbed the crutches and handed them to her, his eyes widening when she stood up with a grin. "Are you sure?"

"I'm on painkillers, I'm positive," she laughed. She wasn't feeling any pain at the moment. "I just want to go back to the hotel, Nicky," she winked.

Kevin groaned loudly and shook his head. "Do you want me to carry your bag?"

"I got it," Nick said quickly, picking Jennifer's purse up off the floor before Kevin could get his hands on it. "You can go, Kevin, we're fine here."

"I'm not leaving my best friend when she's hurt like this," Kevin said with a concerned voice, looking at Jennifer. "Gotta make sure she gets back to the hotel safe and sound."

"She will, Kevin," Nick glared at Kevin, shaking his head. "You're not needed here."

Kevin's eyes flared with anger at Nick's words. How dare he try to replace him... "Really."

"Kev, I'll see you tomorrow," Jennifer stepped in, looking at Kevin carefully. "Nick and I will get back to the hotel fine."

"If you're sure," Kevin looked at Jennifer and nodded, bending down to kiss her cheek. "I'm so sorry you got hurt, Jenny Lynn."

"Just kill the carpenter," Jennifer laughed, before pushing Kevin out the door. "See you tomorrow."

"I don't know what's wrong with him," Nick said with a sigh, watching as the door closed behind Kevin.

"He's having problems with Kristen," Jennifer shrugged. "I guess this is how he deals."

"I wish he'd leave us alone."

"Can we not talk about Kevin?" Jennifer said with a smile, waving her crutches around. "I got wheels, let's motor, baby!"

"Oh god, you're on strong painkillers, aren't you," Nick said, laughing when she started spinning around on the crutches. "You are!"

"It's fun, what can I say," Jennifer giggled when Nick threw the crutches to the side of the room and picked her up. "What?"

"I can get you back to the hotel faster this way," he told her, his blue eyes twinkling. "I got fun stuff for you there, too."

"Oh really, now..."

"Oh really."

"Like..."

"You'll see."

And just a short hour later, she did.
Chapter 32 by old_archive
"Is it strange, watching Nick up there dancing alone?" Leighanne asked Jennifer, smiling consolingly when she nodded in reply.

"Yeah, it's sweet that he refused to let them get a replacement for the week, but it is weird," Jennifer watched as Nick blew her a kiss before dancing away, grinning from ear to ear. "I can't wait until I can get back up there."

"What did the doctor say?"

"Two more days," Jennifer sighed, and flexed her ankle delicately. If it was up to her, she would be up and dancing again today, but she'd been told that taking two more days to let the tendon fully heal would save her a world of pain in the long run.

"That makes sense..."

"I know, I'm just not one for sitting and watching, you know? I'd rather be up there."

Leighanne smiled, "I understand completely."

The two women watched the rest of the show, joining the gang backstage when it was all over.

"How did my favorite cripple like the show?" Kevin cracked to Jennifer as she hobbled into the room on her crutches.

"You know, these things make great weapons," she joked, picking up a crutch and wielding it at Kevin like a weapon. "You don't really need 5 Backstreet Boys, do you, Nick?"

"Naw," Nick laughed, wrapping his arms around Jennifer from behind and hugging her tight. "4's more than enough."

"They need me, Jenny Lynn," Kevin grabbed the crutch and held it tight, smirking when Jennifer tried to pull it back. "So did you like the show?"

"Loved it, of course," She smiled, looking up at Nick. "I just wish I'd been up there dancing with you."

Kevin pulled on the crutch, yanking Jennifer out of Nick's arms and into his. "You don't want to dance with me?"

"You have a partner," Jennifer said, hopping awkwardly to try to regain her balance. "Let go," she tried again to regain control of her crutch, glaring at Kevin when he refused to let go. "Kevin!"

"You're a cute cripple," he smiled at her, his green eyes flashing mischievously. "Hang on to me, I'll keep you standing."

"I got her," Nick scooped Jennifer up in his arms, smirking at Kevin when the crutches clattered to the floor, no longer needed. "Wouldya grab those, Billy?" He asked his bodyguard as he walked out of the room, without another word to Kevin. "One of these days I'm going to kill him," he muttered as he marched down the hall, eager to get back to the hotel and as far away from Kevin as possible.

"He thinks he's being cute," Jennifer said, wrapping her arms around Nick's neck and smiling up at him. "Personally, I thought you picking me up like this was cuter."

"He was being an asshole, the doctor told you not to put any weight on your ankle, and you almost fell," Nick shook his head angrily. "He can do whatever he wants, but if he ever hurt you..."

"He's not going to hurt me," Jennifer reassured Nick. "He wasn't thinking about that, he was just playing around."

"I don't know what kind of games he's playing, Jen, but I don't like it."

Jennifer sighed and ducked her head as Nick ran out of the arena and into the van, ignoring the mass of flashes that erupted around them. When he placed her on the car seat she breathed a sigh of relief, leaning up into his chest as he slid in next to her. "Those will make for some cute pictures, I bet."

"Maybe I can get a copy," Nick joked, kissing her forehead lightly. "I'm sorry I get so annoyed at Kevin, I know he's your best friend, but he's just been such a jerk lately."

"Yeah, I know," Jennifer nodded. Kristen would be rejoining the tour tomorrow. She hoped, anyway, that Kevin's wife would be able to knock some sense into him, get him back to normal. Jennifer knew Kevin better than anyone, and lately, she was scaring herself with what she was seeing in him. Nick's fears about Kevin hurting Jennifer were unfounded, she was sure about that. He couldn't hurt a fly....could he?



Jennifer sat watching Carly get dressed for the show, avoiding going out to her seat until the last possible moment. "She's going to take one look at me and know I'm guilty of something." Kristen was sitting with Leighanne at the moment, waiting for the guys to take the stage.

"If you walk out there looking like you do right now she will," Carly laughed at her friend. "You're overreacting, you said that she doesn't know, right?"

"But I know!" Jennifer's eyes filled with tears as she frowned. She felt like she'd betrayed a friend. She HAD betrayed a friend. "I know I slept with HER husband!"

"I wouldn't say that too loud," Carly warned, shooting a glance at the open door to the hallway.

"I wish I could tell her, get it out in the open," Jennifer sighed, pushing her blond hair away from her face.

"Don't you dare," Carly waved her eyeliner around emphatically. "Kevin won't be back to normal until things are right with Kristen again. And things will never be right with Kristen if she knows what happened."

"Yeah, I know," Jennifer grabbed her crutches and hefted herself up, wincing from the pain in her sore arms. "I can't wait to get off of these things."

"I can imagine," Carly hugged her friend, laughing when the crutches swung awkwardly around them. "You'll be fine, just put on a smile, she won't suspect a thing."

"I hope not," Jennifer smiled, and hobbled out to find Nick.

After a quick kiss for Nick, Jennifer was led out to her seat by a bodyguard, and settled in next to Kristen after a hug hello. "How was your flight?" She asked, trying not to make eye contact with the older woman.

"Long, but over," Kristen smiled, before pointing to Jennifer's ankle. "And you? How are you holding up?"

"I'll be much better once I can get off of these things," she smiled.

"And my husband's not driving you too crazy?"

Jennifer's face paled as she struggled for words, and she was relieved when the lights went out signaling the start of the show. She pretended to be enthralled with the performance, smiling awkwardly at Kristen occasionally, but for the most part, not talking to the woman. When the show was over, she was led backstage, where she collected Nick and quickly left, glad the night was overwith.

"Did Kristen say anything to you about Kevin?" Nick asked her once they were settled in their hotel room, watching an old movie on tv.

"I didn't really talk to her, I was scared to," Jennifer confessed.

"She doesn't know anything, you know Kevin wouldn't have told her."

"I know, but it's driving me nuts. I feel awful for it."

"Then you shouldn't have done it." The words were out of Nick's mouth before he could stop them.

Jennifer's face fell, and she pulled away from him, shaking her head slowly. "I thought you understood why..."

"I will never understand why," Nick said softly, running a hand through her hair. "I know what you told me, Jenny, but if you loved me...how could you..."

"I was scared I was going to lose him," Jennifer whispered, tears filling her eyes as she stared at Nick.

"Why weren't you scared of losing me, though?" Nick asked her, his heart breaking when she didn't answer. "Jenny?"

"He's my best friend," she said pitifully, not knowing what else to say.

"He hasn't been much of a friend lately, has he," Nick shrugged, before pulling her into his chest and shaking his head. "Come on, let's not fight over Kevin, he's not worth it."

Jennifer smiled and kissed Nick, glad to change the subject. Kevin definitely wasn't worth fighting over...not now...not ever.
Chapter 33 by old_archive
"Friday night and the lights are low, looking out for a place to go," Jennifer sang, spinning around on the empty stage. "I'm a dancing queen!"

"Alright, you're fine," Fatima laughed at Jennifer's off-key rendition of the song and waved her off. "I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't hurt yourself tonight."

"I'm fine," Jennifer jumped off the stage and hugged Fatima. "Sick of standing still, that's for sure."

"Can I have my partner back?" Nick walked into the arena and looked at Fatima questioningly.

"Yes, she's all yours," Fatima gave Jennifer a push towards Nick with a smile. She thought the two made a cute couple, and was glad to see them back together. "Now will you be dancing the way I taught you again?"

"I haven't been?" Nick pouted, his blue eyes wide. "I thought you said I'm a wonderful dancer."

"She said you have a wonderful partner," Jennifer grinned, kissing Nick and pulling him up the aisle. "Come on, want to help me get dressed?"

"Oh yeah," Nick's eyes lit up, and Fatima was quickly forgotten as he followed Jennifer to her dressing room.

Fatima bent down to collect her things, looking up in surprise when she saw movement on the stage. "Hello?" She called, giving a start when Kevin emerged from the shadows, waving at her. "Oh, hey."

"Hey," Kevin smiled down at her. "Just checking the stage, after what happened to Jennifer, we can't be too careful."

Fatima nodded solemnly, in full agreement. "Definitely, please make sure every floorboard is very securely fastened."

"I intend to check every show from here on out, I don't want anyone else getting hurt." Kevin said, bending down and stamping on the stage for emphasis. He didn't want Jennifer getting hurt, at least...

"Good," Fatima smiled. "I hate losing dancers like that."

Kevin waved and turned away to continue his check. A smile crossed his face when he wondered...if Fatima hated losing dancers...how was she going to feel about losing a Boy?



Jennifer was standing backstage, stretching out before taking the stage for the night's show. She'd been amazed exactly how sore dancing after a week off had made her, and was only now, after a solid week back, getting back to what she felt was her full potential.

"Hey," Kristen smiled, joining Jen by the side of the stage. "How are you doing?"

"Good," Jennifer smiled. She was getting better at talking to Kristen, although she was still finding one word answers easier than any real conversation.

"I'm leaving the tour tomorrow," Kristen said in a hushed tone, shooting a glance at Kevin standing a few feet away. "He's keeping something from me, and until he tells me what it is, I won't stand for it. You don't know what it is, do you?"

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she shook her head rapidly, "I don't know, Kristen, he's been acting weird lately."

"I've noticed," Kristen sighed and frowned. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough."

The lights went out in the arena around them, and Kristen hugged Jennifer tightly. "In case I don't see you after the show, take care."

"You too," Jennifer returned the hug and ran on stage, shaken by Kristen's question. "Hey," she took Nick's hand and smiled, squeezing it tight.

"I love you," He mouthed, before spinning her around as the show began, and screams filled the air.

Jennifer was trying to concentrate on the show, but it was difficult. She could see Kristen watching Kevin's every move like a hawk, while Kevin's eyes seemed to be fixed on Nick. Nick, meanwhile, was oblivious to everything, he always tended to lose himself in his performance, and tonight was like every other. The fans were treated to the best of Nick Carter, which he gave every night, without fail. Jennifer watched as Nick bounded up the stairs to the top of the stage, spinning around and shouting at the fans in the upper rafters.

Kevin joined Nick up on top, smacking him on the back and grinning widely to joke for the crowd as they moved around the stage, standing on the edge, up high above the crowd below.

Nick felt a floor board under him wobble, and looked up anxiously, waving his arms to try to regain his balance. He felt like a cartoon character, waving in mid air. His face paled as he reached out for Kevin, well aware the man now held his life in his balance.

Kevin saw Nick stumble, and instinctively reached out his hand to grab him, their fingers locking as he struggled to hold the younger man's weight. As he felt Nick's fingers slip away from his, he didn't try to hang on, realizing this was his chance. "Bye Nicky," he whispered, watching as Nick's eyes widened in a horrific realization.

"Kevin!" Nick gasped as he fell backwards off the stage, screams filling the area as he tumbled 30 feet to the audience below.

Fans instantly swarmed on the fallen star, and security was forced to throw people out of their way as they tried to get to Nick, who had fallen right on some seats, just missing the girls who had been standing up dancing instead of sitting.

"NICK!" Jennifer screamed, and she jumped off the stage, clawing her way through people to try to get to him. "Oh my god," she cried, finally reaching him, her stomach churning when she saw him lying still, his body crumpled by his fall. "Nicky," she grabbed his hand and held it tight, looking at the people surrounding them. "Where's an ambulance??"

"Coming," one of the bodyguards reassured her, before bending down to pick up Nick. "Come on, we have to get him away from these girls."

"He just fell down 30 feet, you can't move him!" Jennifer barked, smacking at the bodyguard to get away. "You're just going to hurt him more, get a fucking ambulance!" Tears were pouring down her face as she screamed, but she was oblivious to anything other than Nick. "Oh god, Nicky," she whispered, bending down and kissing his cheek, her eyes widening when she saw the blood pooling under his head. "Oh christ, where's that ambulance..."

"How is he?" Brian called down from the stage above, the bodyguards were refusing to let the other Backstreet Boys go into the audience where their bandmate was lying.

Jennifer looked at Brian and shook her head. "Get the damn ambulance!" She shouted back, sighing with relief when the crowd parted around them to allow a stretcher admittance.

The paramedics quickly loaded Nick into the stretcher and rolled him out, telling Jennifer what hospital she could meet them at.

"Come on, I'll take you," Kevin wrapped an arm around Jennifer as she walked into the backstage area.

"NO!" Jennifer shouted and shoved him away, turning to Brian instead. "Will you go with me?"

Brian's eyes widened, but he nodded solemnly. He would be going anyway, of course, that was his best friend in there. "Let's go."

"Brian, he has to be ok," Jennifer said softly as they walked quickly through the arena, trying to get out the doors before the swarm of fans.

"He will be, Jenny," Brian reassured her.

Jennifer stopped in her tracks as a sob shook her, and she covered her face with her hands as she cried. "I love him, Brian, I can't live without him."

"I know, Jenny," Brian sighed, and put an arm around Jennifer to help her walk to the car. "I need him too, we all do." Or at least, he'd thought they all did.

Brian wished for the world he hadn't seen what he had, but there was no denying it. Nothing in the world could have hurt him more than what he'd seen, or shocked him more to the core. But he'd seen it with his own eyes...

As Nick had struggled for his balance on the edge of the stage, Kevin had pushed him off.
Chapter 34 by old_archive
Jennifer sat sobbing quietly in the hospital waiting room, Brian and Leighanne by her side, talking to her softly. They had been waiting for what felt like hours, although her watch claimed it had only been a few hours. Still, how could there be nothing to tell them...after all this time...

The Backstreet Boys and friends filled the small waiting room, everyone anxious for some word. Nick's family had been called, although they would not get there until the next morning.

Kevin and Kristen sat hand in hand in one corner. Kevin had attempted to talk to Jennifer when he had arrived, but an angry glare from Brian had quickly stopped him in his tracks. He didn't know what that look meant, but now was not the time to find out.

"I can't get the image of him out of my mind..." Jennifer whispered, holding her head tightly in her hands. Nick's face ghastly white, the blood around his head a bright, awful contrast, his lips slowly turning a darker color...she kept seeing him like that.

"Don't think about it," Leighanne told her softly, rubbing her back.

"I can't help it..." Jennifer jumped out of her chair when she saw a doctor walking their way, running to him before he could fully enter the room. "Are you Nick's doctor?"

"Nick Carter?" The doctor asked her, his eyes widening when he saw the entire waiting room get up to gather around him. "All of you?"

"Yes," Jennifer said, looking at the doctor eagerly. "Please, how is he?"

"Extremely lucky to be alive," the doctor replied, looking around the room before resting his gaze on Jennifer. "Our immediate concern is the severe concussion he has received. His brain has swollen from the impact, and until that swelling goes down, we cannot fully assess the extent of the damage."

"His brain is swollen?" Jennifer repeated in horror, and Kevin grabbed her as her knees buckled under her. She didn't have the energy to fight him as he held her up so she could hear the rest of the doctor's report. "But he's going to live?"

"Nick is in a coma at the moment. Until he awakens, we cannot be one hundred percent sure that he will survive. The swelling should go down, and he should awaken within a 24 hour period. If he does not, we will need to reassess the situation." The doctor paused for a moment to allow his words to sink in before continuing. "He has also suffered a compound fracture of the right tibia and fibula, which will require surgery. We will need to wait for his concussion to heal before performing the surgery, as anesthesia is out of the question at the moment, and it is major surgery to correct a break this severe."

"Oh my god," Jennifer gasped, wiping at the tears on her face. "Can I see him? Please?"

"One visitor at a time," The doctor warned, but Jennifer was already past him and on her way into Nick's room. He shook his head with a wry smile before looking around at the group. "Any questions?"

"Nick is part of a group, we're on tour at the moment," Kevin said hesitatingly. He was starting to have a major guilt trip over what he'd done. He hadn't really ever intended to hurt Nick, just to get him away from Jennifer. But the opportunity had presented itself, and it had just been so easy...just a little push.

"I would say your tour is over," the doctor cut Kevin off with a look. "Assuming Nick wakes up within 24 hours, we could conceivably do the surgery on his leg as early as a day or two from now, but you're looking at a 6 week recovery period from the operation."

"We'll cancel the tour," Brian said with a nod. "The fans will understand."

"No they won't," Kevin shook his head quickly, looking at his cousin. "Not at this late of a date, not that many shows...that's half the tour."

"We can't do half the tour without Nicky," Howie said to Kevin, amazed the older man would even consider such a thing.

"I'm not leaving Nick," Brian said firmly, "and I doubt Jennifer will either."

"Jennifer will do what her contract tells her to," Kevin said, "not to mention, since when do we schedule our tour around a backup dancer?"

"This is NICK we're talking about here, Kevin, what the fuck's wrong with you?" AJ asked him, poking him in the chest hard. "Don't you care?"

Kevin sighed as his face fell dramatically. "Of course I care, AJ, I love Nicky. But you heard the doc, he's gonna be alright, he just needs some recovery time. Now think about it, if we continue the tour now, when he's healthy, he can just rejoin us and end it up. Otherwise, when he gets better, he'll have a long tour still to worry about, that won't help him any."

AJ frowned, and looked at Kevin. "Ok, you got a point. But I don't want to leave Nicky."

"Nobody's leaving anyone," Brian interrupted, shaking his head. "We'll talk about this later, NOW is not the time. I want to go see Nick."

"Me too," Howie jumped in, looking towards the room. "You think Jen's still in there?"

"Of course," Brian smiled. "We'll just sneak past the doctor, no big deal. I'm good at sneaking around hospitals."

Howie and Brian crept off, leaving Kevin and AJ in the waiting room.

AJ took a seat across from Kevin, looking at him steadily as he considered what the older man had said. Touring without Nick. It was wrong....but if it helped Nick in the long run...maybe Kevin was right?



Jennifer gasped when she saw Nick lying in the hospital bed, his skin appearing near translucent against the stale white hospital sheets. "Oh, Nicky," she whispered, taking his hand in hers and kissing it softly. "Please, wake up," she sat down on the edge of the bed, running her finger along his face before bending down and pressing her lips to his cheek. Unable to fight the need to be close to him, she curled up in the bed next to him, wrapping her arms around his chest and holding him tight. "I hope I'm not on your broken leg," she whispered into his ear, biting her lip at the silence she got in reply. She took a deep breath and ran her hands over his chest, settling in for the wait. No way was she leaving until Nick woke up....she closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat, thankful for the soothing confirmation he was still alive.

"Hey."

Jennifer woke up with a start, sitting up to see Brian walking slowly into the room. "Oh hey, I guess I fell asleep," she rubbed her eyes as she tried to focus on him.

"He looks pretty awful, huh," Brian's eyes were fixed on Nick as he walked to the bed and sat down in a chair, taking the younger man's hand in his.

Jennifer nodded solemnly, looking at Nick with a sad expression before turning her gaze to Brian. "Brian, Nick...how...."

"Don't." Brian said quickly, cutting her off.

"I mean," Jennifer continued, ignoring Brian. "I fell, but I'm a klutz, and I didn't fall down that way..."

"Jenny, please," Brian practically shouted, his blue eyes widening as he stared at her. "Not now. I can't."

Jennifer opened her mouth to reply and then shut it, something in Brian's eyes warning her off. "Ok."

"You should go back to the hotel, try to get some sleep," Brian said softly, looking at the blond woman holding his best friend tight.

"Not until Nick's awake," Jennifer replied, shaking her head.

"His family will be here soon..."

"They're not here yet, and I'm not leaving him." Jennifer said firmly. Not a chance in hell.

"Ok," Brian stood up, and took a deep breath. "The other guys want to see Nick."

Jennifer shrugged, "I'm not leaving. They can do what they want."

He nodded and left, watching Jennifer rest her head on Nick's chest, her eyes closing. She loved him so much...what the hell was Kevin doing?

And even more important at this point...what the hell was he going to do??

His best friend, or his cousin. They say blood is thicker than water.

He wasn't so sure, anymore.
Chapter 35 by old_archive
Jennifer was sitting on a chair beside Nick's bed, his hand in hers, when his mother arrived. "Oh, thank god," she jumped up and ran to her, hugging her tightly. "He's still in a coma."

Jane Carter returned the hug in surprise, before turning her gaze to her son. "Oh, Nick," she sat down on the side of the bed, tears filing her eyes as she looked at her child lying still on the bed.

Jennifer just returned to her seat, lowering her eyes to the floor to allow Jane some quiet time with her son.

Jane Carter sat silently, staring at Nick, for nearly half an hour, before raising her gaze to the blond woman. "You're Kevin's friend, right?"

Jennifer's mouth dropped open slightly before she looked at Jane, thinking this meant Nick had never told his mother about her. "Oh, god," she stammered, unsure of what to say. She'd been on television, in tabloids as Nick's girlfriend, how could his mother not know...

"Jane," Brian walked into the room and hugged his best friend's mother tightly, realizing from the expression on Jen's face he'd interrupted at the perfect moment. "You remember Jennifer? She's been seeing Nick for a while now, I'm sure he's told you about her."

Jane's brow knotted as she looked at the younger woman, and she tilted her head before nodding as she remembered. "Wait, he mentioned a Jennifer, a dancer?"

"I'm a dancer," Jennifer said softly, looking at Jane carefully, trying to remember if they'd gotten along at previous encounters in the past. Jane had always been around when Nick was younger, but she couldn't really recall if she'd ever talked to her much...she was Nick's mother, there was no reason for them to talk.

"I hadn't realized I knew you," Jane said, shaking her head.

"Jen's been with Nick all night," Brian said, looking at Jennifer carefully. "You should get some sleep, you know."

"Out of the question," Jennifer shrugged. "I can't leave until he wakes up."

"Jenny Lynn?"

Jennifer froze, and slowly turned her head to look at the figure in the doorway. "The doctor said he would throw us all out if he caught too many people in here."

"Brian's right, you need to get some sleep," Kevin walked into the room and took her hand, ignoring Brian's startled gasp at his actions. "I'll take you back to the hotel, ok?"

"No," Jennifer shook her head in protest, "I can't leave him."

"Jennifer," Jane said softly, taking the younger girl's hand in hers. "I can see that you care for my son a great deal. I can also see that you're exhausted, and could use some rest. I promise I will call you if anything happens. Just go to the hotel for a few hours?"

"I can't..." Jennifer tried to argue one last time, but Jane shook her head firmly.

"Just a few hours, Kevin will take care of you." She smiled wryly at the younger girl. She had to respect her determination not to leave Nick's side, it was admirable.

"Fine," Jennifer sighed, and let Kevin lead her from the room. As he steered her through the hospital corridors, a thought occurred to her. "Kev? Where'd Kristen go?" Surely with Nick hurt, she would stay...

"She left last night," Kevin replied gruffly, waving to his bodyguard to get the van ready. "Let's get you back to the hotel and to bed, ok?"

Jennifer didn't have the strength to protest, and just nodded in reply. The hotel, and bed. Her life had become one big nightmare. She was just wondering when she was going to be able to wake up....



Jennifer did wake up a few hours later, her eyes widening in surprise when she found Kevin's body wrapped tightly around hers. "Kevin," she pushed at his chest, squirming when his arms just tightened around her back. "Wake up...."

"I'm awake, Jenny Lynn," he replied softly, his green eyes opening to gaze into hers. "You get enough sleep?"

"Yes," She answered him firmly, looking at him with a curious expression. "We need to get back to the hospital."

"We can stay here a little while longer," Kevin argued, refusing to budge. "Nick's in a coma, he's not going anywhere."

Jennifer gasped and smacked Kevin's chest, her eyes blazing angrily. "What the hell is wrong with you? Nick's hurt, and I need to get back there!"

"Sorry," Kevin sat up, his eyes widening in apology when she jumped out of bed. "Jenny Lynn, I'm just worried about you."

"You should worry about Nick," she shot back, pulling on her jacket and turning to Kevin. "Are you coming?"

"You're ready to go, just like that?" Kevin stood up slowly, smiling at her eagerness.

"Yes!" Jennifer gestured impatiently towards the door. "Just like that. Now are you coming?"

Kevin grabbed his jacket and made it out the door just before it closed behind her, chuckling softly to himself. "Yeah, I'm coming, Jenny Lynn. Wherever you go, I'll follow, you know that."



"How is he doing?" Jennifer asked Jane Carter when she arrived at the hospital, her heart sinking when she found Nick looking much as he had when she'd left him earlier that morning.

Jane's eyes were red and puffy, and she'd clearly been crying. She shook her head slowly and sighed, brushing Nick's blond hair away from his face absentmindedly. "The doctor said the longer he's unconscious, the worse his chances get."

Jennifer felt her eyes fill with tears as she struggled to find the right words to reply. "He'll wake up, he has to."

Jane nodded slowly before standing up and stretching. "I'm going to go to the ladies room, I didn't want to leave until you got back."

"Thank you," Jennifer said softly. "Nick wouldn't want to be alone."

"Mind if I wait with you?" Brian walked in, looking at Jennifer carefully. He didn't want to be in the waiting room with Kevin, that was more of the truth, but he did want to spend as much time as possible with Nick.

Jennifer shrugged and took her seat by the side of his bed, taking Nick's hand in hers.

Nick's mother turned to leave, pausing for a moment at the door. "You know, at least he was doing what he loved," she said softly, leaving the room, as Brian started to cry softly from her words.

Jennifer's eyes widened in surprise when she saw Brian break down, and she quickly moved to him, putting an arm around him and hugging him tight. "He's going to be ok, Brian."

Brian couldn't reply, he just nodded through his tears and fixed his gaze on Nick, wondering what the younger man would remember. He'd seen Kevin push him...would Nick remember that? And if he remembered that...god...what would that do to him? The will to live...if you're stabbed in the back by your big brother, does that effect your will to live? "He better be," he said softly, his blue eyes narrowing as he looked at Nick. "He'd better be."
Chapter 36 by old_archive
Jennifer held Nick's hand tight as she sobbed, unable to keep herself together any longer. It had been 48 dreadful hours since Nick had fallen off of the stage, and he still hadn't woken up. She was terrified, Brian was terrified, his mother was a wreck...and the doctor...the doctor would only say it didn't look good. "Nicky, please, I need you so much," she pleaded, kissing his hand. The doctor had told them to talk to him as much as possible, and so they had been working shifts, everyone spending some time sitting and talking to Nick alone.

"The doctor...he said you have to want to come back," Jennifer stopped for a moment to cry softly. She hadn't known she could care this much about another person, be so afraid of losing them...she'd never lost anyone like this before. She didn't want to. "I love you so much, Nicky, I need you. Please, if for no other reason, come back for me? I can't live without you..." her words trailed off, and she moved to the bed, curling up next to him and burying her head in his neck.

Jennifer ran her fingers across Nick's chest, sliding her hand under the hospital gown so she could feel his skin. "Oh, Nicky," she gasped, and held him tighter, feeling his skin cool to her touch. He normally felt so hot to her, she loved it...she always joked she didn't need a blanket when he was around, his body heat was more than enough. Now, he needed her to keep him warm. "You're so cold," she kissed his neck and shivered, rubbing his body, wishing he would react.

Not knowing what else to do, she began singing softly, the only song she could think of being the one that had brought Nick back to her. She sniffled as she sang, her heart breaking as she wondered if she would ever hear Nick sing the words again.

There's not a day that passes by
I don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's not too late to change your mind
And take my hand, don't say goodbye

"Don't say goodbye," she whispered, her sobs beginning in earnest again, and she gave up on singing, content with listening to Nick's heartbeat for a while. She gasped when she heard a raspy, but clear voice pick up where she had left off, singing the chorus,

I will love you more than that*

"Nick!" Jennifer sat up and looked at him, her mouth dropping open when she saw his blue eyes staring up at her. "You're awake!"

Nick smiled, his eyelids drooping slightly. "Barely. But I heard an angel singing..."

Jennifer threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, crying again, but with relief this time. "Oh god," she pulled away from him, her eyes wide. "I should go tell everyone, your mother..."

"Wait," Nick grabbed her hand and stopped her from leaving. "Jenny...what you said...you meant it?"

Jennifer stared at him in amazement, "You heard me?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Every word." She said firmly, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

"I love you too, Jenny," Nick whispered, looking at her hand in his. "No matter what happens, don't ever doubt that, ok?"

"Never, Nicky," She reassured him, before letting his hand go. "Let me go get your mom and everyone, ok?"

"Ok," Nick took a deep breath and lay back in the bed, wincing from the throbbing pain he felt all over. What the hell had happened...he looked himself over, his eyes widening when he remembered. He'd been dancing, his foot had gotten caught. He'd grabbed Kevin's hand...and then it went all fuzzy. He looked up when his mother entered the room and put the thought aside. Remembering something like that could wait. Now, he could just be glad to be alive.



"We can't go on tour without Nick!" Brian protested, staring at the other members of the group in amazement. "I can't believe you guys want to do this."

"As much as I hate to admit it, Kevin's right," Howie shrugged, looking at Brian with a resigned expression. "Nick might be able to pull off the last three weeks of the tour when he's recovered. But if we postpone for six weeks? He won't be able to do the full nine then."

"Then we postpone until he can!"

"That could be months, Brian," Kevin said firmly, shaking his head. "No, we'll pick up the tour day after tomorrow, and Nick can rejoin us when he's better."

"We can't leave Nicky here," Brian said softly, his eyes meeting Kevin's in a steady gaze. "Don't you care at all, anymore?"

"I love Nick, but I love this group too," Kevin replied evenly. "He'll understand."

"Would you?" AJ asked Kevin. He understood why they had to go back on tour, but he didn't like it, and he didn't like Kevin trying to convince them Nick wouldn't care. "I'd be pissed as hell."

"You'll tell him," Kevin told his cousin, "he'll take it best coming from you."

Brian glared at his cousin before turning on his heel and leaving the waiting room, finding Nick awake and talking to Jennifer. "Hey."

"Hey Rok," Nick smiled when he saw Brian come in, and waved him to a seat. "Park it."

"How are you feeling?" Brian asked, glad his friend was much more animated than he had been the last time he'd seen him.

Nick giggled and waved to the IV at his side. "Morphine. I'm doing great," he slurred his words slightly as he winked at Brian. "So, what's up?"

Brian took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair before answering. "We're going back on tour, Nick," he said softly.

Jennifer's face paled as she stared at him, "you're what?"

"You too," Brian looked at Jennifer, his eyes apologetic. "Day after tomorrow."

"I'm not leaving Nick," Jennifer said firmly, grabbing his hand and holding it tight. He would be having the operation on his leg in three days, and she would be here for him.

"Without me?" Nick said softly, his blue eyes wide as he looked at Brian.

Brian couldn't bear to meet Nick's gaze, and he fixed his eyes firmly on the floor as he nodded. "When you've recovered, you can join us, finish out the tour."

"The doctor said I'm in here for six weeks," Nick's voice was flat as he replied, realizing Brian was aware of that fact. "Six weeks worth of performances without me."

"I'm so sorry, Nicky," Brian whispered, his eyes filling with tears at the hurt in his best friend's voice.

"I don't want your pity," Nick spat out, shaking his head angrily. "Get out."

"Nick?" Jennifer gasped, squeezing his hand. "This is Brian..."

"You're his cousin," Nick shook his head, and waved to the door. "I'll see you in six weeks. Get out."

Brian got up and left the room without another word, closing the door firmly behind him.

"Nick, what..." Jennifer started, but he stopped her, covering her mouth with his hand. "What?"

"You have to go back on tour if they're going, you know that," Nick said softly, running a hand through her hair. "Stay with me until you have to go?"

"Of course, Nicky," Jennifer smiled as he pulled her into his chest, feeling eternally grateful she was able to feel his arms around her again. The terror she'd felt when she thought that feeling had left her forever...she would never forget that. "Six weeks, that'll go fast, right?"

Nick sighed, and rubbed her back. He still hadn't entirely figured out what was going on, and he wasn't exactly sure what he could do about it from a hospital bed, but...he'd have six long weeks to do it in. "Yeah, I bet it will."

* Lyrics from More Than That by Franciz & LePoint/Adam Anders ©2000
Chapter 37 by old_archive
Jennifer stared out of the window of the tour bus, unable to believe she was really sitting on a vehicle that was taking her away from Nick. "This is wrong," she said softly to Brian sitting next to her, who just shook his head in reply. Nick had refused to talk to any of the group, telling her just to let them know he'd see them in six weeks, that they clearly didn't need him when he was hurt. He wouldn't talk about what had happened either, other than to say that he'd fallen, and he had apparently spent enough time with her to have inherited her klutz trait.

"Your favorite show's on," Kevin was sitting by the television, and he looked at Jennifer expectantly.

Jennifer's eyes filled with tears when she saw the familiar anime program on the television, and she frowned. "Turn it off."

"I thought you loved this show?"

"TURN IT OFF!" She shouted, standing up and running back to her bunk. She crawled in and buried her head in the pillows, unable to take even the sounds of the cartoon. She watched it with Nick too many times, curled up in front of the television, under that blanket....he should be here. This was so wrong....

"Are you ok, Jenny?" AJ stuck his head inside the curtain of her bunk, looking at her carefully.

"Nobody wants to talk about what happened," she said softly, her eyes widening when AJ gestured for her to move over so he could crawl in. "It's a little tight," she pulled her legs up to allow him to slid into the bunk, looking at him in surprise. "What?"

"Kevin and Brian don't want to talk about what happened," AJ said, his brown eyes evaluating her reaction to his question. "Has Nick?"

She shook her head slowly, "he said it wasn't worth wasting time talking about."

"Howie found some stuff online," AJ said cautiously, unsure if he should mention it to her.

"What stuff?"

"Fan accounts of the concert where Nick fell."

Jennifer's eyes widened, and she looked at him questioningly. "And?"

AJ took a deep breath before replying, his eyes narrowing as he spoke. "They say that Kevin pushed Nick."

Jennifer jerked back, letting out a soft cry when she hit her head on the top of the bunk. "No!"

"They think it was a dance move gone wrong, but we don't have a move where Kevin pushes Nick, do we." AJ reached out and rubbed the top of her head for her, smiling wryly when she batted his hand away. "That many girls, could they all be seeing things?"

Jennifer sighed, and shook her head. "I tripped over the same floorboard Nick did."

"You didn't end up as badly hurt as he was."

"I fell down the other side of the stage," Jennifer explained, and it was what had been bothering her about Nick's fall from the moment it had happened. "He was doing the same move I had been doing when I fell. Momentum, it should have carried him down to the lower stage, like me. Not OFF the stage entirely."

"His direction changed."

Jennifer nodded, and bit her lip. "I'd been trying to figure out how he could have gotten turned around."

AJ couldn't believe it, he'd had a day, at this point, to get used to the idea, but it still didn't make any sense. "Kevin."

"No," she whispered helplessly, her eyes filling with tears. "Kevin loves Nick."

"I think Kevin might love you more."

Jennifer's breath caught in her throat, and she stared at AJ in horror. "You're not saying you think Kevin did this to Nick because of me?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," AJ replied evenly. "Kevin didn't want us dating any of his friends. I guess now we know why. He gets a wee bit possessive."

"Oh god, no," she felt like she couldn't breathe, how could Kevin...over her? "AJ...what do we do?"

AJ shook his head slowly, "that's the thousand dollar question. Howie wants to sit tight and see what happens. I want to beat the fuck out of Kevin. You?"

"I want to be with Nick," Jennifer said quickly, there was no doubt in her mind what she wanted.

AJ chuckled softly, "you really do love the kid, don't you."

"Yes, I do," she nodded, looking at AJ. "I screwed things up, big time. I need to make them right again."

"I think we need to talk to Brian, then," AJ said. "First chance we can get him alone, ok?"

"Brian it is, then," Jennifer agreed. They had to talk to Brian, get to the bottom of this. Kevin pushed Nick?? But Kevin wasn't a killer...was he?



Jennifer grabbed her room key from the road manager the second the bus had come to a complete stop, quickly making her way through the mob of fans in the hotel lobby, and up to her room. She made a face as the electronic lock refused to open, and glared angrily at the key.

"You're putting it in backwards," Kevin took the key from her, and inserted in the lock properly, not noticing her reaction to his sudden appearance.

"Thanks," Jennifer snatched the key back from him the moment the door opened and walked inside, closing the door behind her before he could follow her in. "Oh jesus," she breathed, turning around to put the bolt on the door, shaking her head slowly. What the hell was going on...

"Jen?"

Jennifer jumped a foot into the air at the sound of Carly's voice, her bags dropping to the floor with a loud thud. "Oh shit, you scared me," she left her bags where they fell and sat down on the bed across from Carly, holding her now pounding chest.

"How are you, girl?" Carly asked, looking at her friend carefully. "I haven't seen you since..."

Jennifer sighed, and shook her head. "I have to make a phone call first, then we'll talk, ok?"

"Ok..." Carly watched as Jennifer picked up the phone and dialed, wondering what had gotten her so spooked.

Jennifer waited as she was connected to Nick's room, her face falling when his mother answered the phone. "It's Jen. How's Nick?" She listened quietly, then nodded, biting her lip. "Thanks. Yeah. Bye," she hung up the phone, and lay down on the bed, feeling like she didn't have the energy to cry anymore.

"How is he?" Carly's eyes widened as she looked at Jennifer's reaction to the phone call.

"Still in surgery," Jennifer said softly, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. "Jane said the surgery was supposed to end two hours ago."

"He's young, strong, he'll be fine," Carly reassured Jennifer, staring at confusion when the other woman nodded. "What?"

"The surgery isn't what has me so worried," Jennifer's voice was barely a whisper as she confessed her fears. "I need to talk to Nick...see what he remembers about what happened...he was so upset the guys left him behind, if he remembers...."

"Remembers what, Jen?"

Jennifer sniffled loudly and looked at Carly. "Did you see Nick fall?"

Carly shook her head, "I was over by AJ, I'm not with Kevin then, the guys are alone up there."

"Yeah."

"What are you asking me?" Carly asked softly, leaning in closer to her friend.

"I don't know," Jennifer shook her head, and rolled over on to her side. "I'm tired, I'm going to sleep for a while."

"Your bags are still in the doorway, Jen," Carly observed, shaking her head when Jennifer just waved in reply. This was not like Jennifer at all...what on earth was going on??

"I'll pick them up later," Jennifer mumbled, crawling under the blanket, fully dressed, her exhaustion finally overtaking her. She hadn't been able to sleep a wink on the tour bus, every time she'd almost fallen asleep, she would hear something, and become paranoid that Kevin was coming to talk to her. She didn't want to face him, couldn't...not until she talked to Nick, found out what really happened. "If Jane calls, wake me up..."

"Who's Jane?" Carly tried, but Jennifer was already asleep, her breathing growing steady and deep. She chuckled softly and nodded, "alright, Jen. If Jane calls, whoever this chick is, I'll wake you up."



Carly groaned when she heard the knock on the door, and she shot a look at Jennifer's sleeping figure before going to open the door. "She's asleep, Kevin," she said as she opened the door, her eyes widening in surprise when she found AJ on the other side instead. "Oh. Hello, Alex," she grinned, unable to resist tilting her head coyly. He was just so damn attractive...

"I'm waking her up," AJ said brusquely, pushing past her into the room and sitting down next to Jennifer on the bed. He took one look at her and his manner changed completely, his hand going to the side of her face to push her hair off of where her tears had plastered it to her cheek in her sleep. "Jenny, you need to wake up," he said softly, giving her a slight shake. He liked Jen, always had...they ALL always had...Nick ending up with her had been just fine in his mind, one of them was always bound to. But Kevin's behavior was inexcusable, and poor Jennifer was just being caught in the middle of all of it.

Jennifer whispered Nick's name and rolled over, curling deeper into the blankets in her sleep.

"What's going on, AJ?" Carly asked softly, watching him with Jennifer, wondering where this sudden tenderness came from. "Did something happen to Nick?"

"Wake up, baby," AJ said again, a tear sliding down his face from underneath his sunglasses.

Carly's eyes widened in horror at the sight, and she fell to her knees on the floor. "Oh god, AJ, what happened??"

Jennifer woke up at the sound of Carly falling, and sat up with a start when she saw AJ with tears on his face, her eyes wide with terror. "What? What's going on?"

"Nicky didn't wake up from surgery, baby," AJ said, his voice barely a whisper. "We gotta get back to the hospital."

"Oh god, no," Jennifer started crying, her body curling over as sobs shook her. "What...no...."

"He had a reaction to the anesthesia, he's in a coma again..." AJ continued, a sob breaking his voice at the end.

"She ready?" Brian stood in the open doorway, his eyes red and puffy, his hair sticking straight up into the air. He looked as awful as they all felt...their fear for their friend weighing them down.

"Yeah," AJ stood up and grabbed Jennifer's hands, pulling her up with him. "I got her, right, babe?"

Jennifer nodded, grateful for his arm around her waist holding her up. Her mind was still reeling from the information she'd just received...but Nick had been fine...she'd talked to him...he was out of danger...how could this happen?

"Here," Carly handed AJ Jennifer's purse and pushed them out the door. "Call me when you know something, please?"

"Will do," AJ slung the purse over his shoulder, and followed Brian down the hallway and into the waiting elevator, where Howie, Leighanne and their bodyguards were already assembled. "Let's get out of here," he said firmly as he met the solemn eyes of the group.

"Brian," Jennifer looked at him, her heart breaking when she saw the tears in his eyes. "What..."

"We'll talk about it on the plane, ok?" Brian said softly, taking Jennifer's hands in his. "I talked to AJ and Howie...I know..."

Leighanne sobbed quietly into her hands, and Brian let go of Jen's hands to he could console his wife.

"Ok, ready?" Brian's bodyguard gestured to them all to prepare for the run through the lobby, and everyone covered their heads as much as possible. NOBDOY wanted fans seeing their faces like this, the fans were already so worried about Nick, if they saw them like this....they'd assume the worst.

Which at this point, could very well be the case...

At the bodyguard's command, the three Backstreet Boys and crew left the fourth alone in the hotel, as they fled to the airport to return to the fallen fifth. Who, they all knew now, they never should have left in the first place.



"You should call the fucking police, is what you should do!" AJ shouted as he paced back and forth, angry at everyone's attempts to explain what Kevin had done. "You said you saw him push Nick, right? That's MURDER if he dies."

Jennifer just watched AJ's tirade from her seat in the small plane they'd chartered for the trip, tears never seeming to stop their path down her face. Howie hadn't let go of her since the moment they'd lifted off, his arm tightly wrapped around her shoulders as she cried, and she was appreciative of the concern he was showing her. They all seemed to be showing her, in fact...

"AJ, stop," Howie said tiredly, grabbing his hand and yanking him into a seat. "We're all angry, but shouting doesn't help anyone."

"I can't send Kevin to jail," Brian couldn't believe that circumstances could exist where he would be speaking those words. Kevin...and jail? "He's my cousin."

"He tried to kill your best friend," AJ got out before Howie reached over and covered his mouth with his hand, glaring at him. It was one thing when Nick was going to be ok. But now?? Nick wasn't ok...

"It's not that simple," Howie shook his head. "Nick's back in a coma."

"Does he remember what happened, Jen?" Brian asked her, sighing when she shrugged in reply.

"He wouldn't talk to me about it," Jennifer said softly, biting her lip as she thought. "If he remembered...the doctor said he has to want to come back from a coma. Would he want to come back..." she stopped talking abruptly, not wanting to finish her own thought.

"YES." Howie said emphatically, nodding his head for emphasis. "This is Nicky, he has a lot to live for."

"How would you feel if Kevin tried to kill you?" Leighanne asked Howie, her face pale and tired. She couldn't believe what was going on...how could this happen...

Jennifer turned away to stare out the window, cursing the beauty of the clouds outside. They looked so safe, so fluffy, so calm...but everything was so wrong, so screwed up in here. It should be dark, stormy, evil looking out.

Howie's face fell, and he sighed heavily. "How much longer until we land?"
Chapter 38 by old_archive
Jennifer took a deep breath before opening the door to Nick's room, wondering what she would find inside. She slowly pulled it open, her eyes widening when she saw a blond boy sleeping in a chair next to Nick's bed. "Aaron?" she said softly, stepping into the room, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Nick. "Oh god, Nicky," she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand to silence the sobs she was sure were about to start again.

He looked awful, a thousand times worse than he had when she'd left. There was tubes and wires connected to every inch of him, it looked like, and a machine next to the bed was loudly clanking away with every breath he took, connected to him by a tube going down his throat.

Jennifer moved to the side of the bed and sat down, taking Nick's hand in hers and bringing it to her cheek. So cold ...she kissed the palm of his hand, rubbing the cool skin.

Aaron stirred in his chair and sat up, rubbing his eyes as he looked at Jennifer. "You're Jennifer, right?" He asked softly, his brown eyes puffy and tired.

"Yes," Jennifer nodded, returning Nick's hand to the protection of the blanket before looking at his brother. "How is he?"

"The doc says it's not good," Aaron said, looking at Nick. "He'll be glad you're here."

"If he knows..." Jennifer said with a frown.

"He knows," Aaron got up and stretched. "I'll leave you two alone, talk to him."

Jennifer watched as Aaron left the room, shaking her head when the door closed behind him. She turned back to Nick with a sigh, wishing she had Aaron's confidence. "Well, last time, you said you could hear me, right?" She started, taking a deep breath. It was so hard, talking to him like this....she so desperately needed to hear him answering her. The silence was painful. "Hopefully you can still hear me now...Nicky, we came back. Me, Brian, AJ, Howie, we're all here. AJ figured out what happened, well, Brian saw, but AJ figured it out....I don't know what we're gonna do, but we're gonna do something..."

She ran a finger down the side of his face, over his lips, around the ugly tubes sticking out of his mouth. "We all need you so much, Nicky, please, don't leave us. You have to come back...Kevin, he's not worth this. I love you so much, Nick, please...don't say goodbye...."



Jennifer sat down next to Brian with a heavy sigh, having been replaced by Nick's mother at her post in his room. The doctor was actually making them stick to the one visitor at a time thing now, and it was only fair that everyone got some time with him.

"How is he?" Brian asked her softly, his blue eyes narrowing when she didn't reply. He'd seen Nick earlier, seen the machines, and seen enough. He felt like he could do more sitting out here, praying, than he could trembling in fear at the memory of machines like that.

"How do you think he is," AJ hissed at Brian, shaking his head. "What are we gonna do?"

"We're having a press conference in two hours."

Every head in the room snapped to stare at the figure standing in the front of the room, nobody really able to believe the gall of the man.

"What did you say?" AJ said slowly, standing up and staring at Kevin.

"You guys just left, we were supposed to do a concert. We need to explain what's going on," Kevin said, looking around the room. "How's Nick?"

"Fuck you," Jennifer spat at him before standing up and running out of the room. She couldn't stand seeing him, not now...

"Dying," Howie said, noting the flash of fear in Kevin's eyes when he heard the word. "He's in bad shape."

"No..." Kevin whispered, his hand going to his forehead. Nicky...dying? He saw Jennifer leave the room, and moved to go after her, but AJ grabbed him before he could get out the door. "What?"

"Nick's dying. Did you hear Howie?" AJ glared at Kevin, squeezing his arm tight. "He needs to know everyone loves him and needs him right now. Unfortunately, I think that includes you."

"Will you talk to him?" Brian asked softly, standing up and facing Kevin.

"I need to talk to Jenny Lynn..." Kevin mumbled, pulling his arm away from AJ. No...this wasn't what he'd wanted...not Nick dead...

"Forget JENNIFER, would you, Kevin?" AJ shouted, staring up at the larger man.

"I can't..." Kevin turned and fled the room, stopping outside the door to catch his breath. He held his spinning head between his hands, unable to believe what was going on. He just wanted Jennifer...that was all...his eyes widened when he heard a sob from a door nearby, and he walked to it, pressing his ear to the door. "Jenny Lynn," he whispered, recognizing the sound of her crying.

He should go to Nick, tell him he loved him, he was sorry...he WAS...

But Jenny Lynn was crying. She needed someone.

Nick could wait, right?

Taking a deep breath, Kevin pushed open the door.
Chapter 39 by old_archive
Kevin found Jennifer sitting on the closed toilet bowl, her head in her hands as she cried. She looked up when she saw him walk in, and stood up, backing away from him. "Get out, Kevin..."

"Jenny Lynn, you're upset," Kevin said softly, ignoring her arguments and backing her into the wall, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't cry...."

Jennifer smacked at him, her eyes flaring angrily. "How dare you tell me that!! Nick's dying, Kevin, do you understand that? Unless something changes, soon, we're going to lose him." She started sobbing again, and leaned back against the wall, shaking her head slowly. "I don't have the energy to fight you, Kevin, please, just leave me alone..."

"I don't want Nicky to die," Kevin said softly, pulling Jennifer into his chest, his arms tightening around her when he felt her trembling. "You're shaking..."

Jennifer looked up at Kevin, her brow wrinkling when she saw the fear in his eyes. He did look worried for Nick, he did seem to care...but then... "why did you push him?"

Kevin's face paled as her words hit his ears, and he pressed her into the wall with his hips, looking at her intensely. "What did you say?"

Jennifer squirmed against him and bit her lip, having gotten all the confirmation she needed from his reaction. "God, Kevin, how could you...." She gasped, his weight pressing her against the wall the only thing keeping her upright as her knees buckled under her.

"I never meant to," Kevin whispered, his head falling to land in the crook of Jennifer's neck as he realized she knew. "I never wanted to hurt Nicky..."

Jennifer's eyes widened in surprise when she felt a shudder run through Kevin's body, followed by a deep, awful sob. "Then why...." She asked softly, looking at his head buried in her neck. She felt his tears on her skin and stared at him, wondering what was going through his mind.

"I love you, Jenny Lynn, I only wanted you," he said, raising a set of teary green eyes to look at her. "Nicky was taking you away from me...I didn't know what else to do..."

"No," Jennifer shook her head and tried to push him away. "Don't put this on me, Kevin, please..."

"I love you," Kevin said again, refusing to let her go. "Please, baby..."

"Nick needs you now," Jennifer said firmly, looking into his eyes. "Please, Kevin, if he remembers what happened...you need to go talk to him."

"I will," Kevin nodded, but didn't move. "In a minute."

"Now, Kevin, he's DYING!" Jennifer's voice rose, and she shook with fear. "Every minute you spend here...

"I didn't mean to," Kevin cut her off, once again hugging her tight and burying his head in her hair. "Baby, I love Nicky, you know that."

"Kevin..."

"I just didn't want to lose you...." He mumbled, his lips brushing over the skin at the base of her neck.

Jennifer froze at the feeling of his lips against her skin, and smacked at his chest angrily. "Let me go, Kevin, what are you doing..."

"Please, baby, one last time," Kevin whispered, grinding his hips into hers against the wall, looking into her eyes. "Then I'll go to Nick."

"No, Kevin, let me go," Jennifer fought him as she felt him push her down to the floor, a wave of terror sweeping over her. No, god, this wasn't happening... "Kevin, stop!" She shouted as he grabbed her hands and held them above her head, sitting on her hips to hold her down.

Kevin wasn't hearing a word she said, all he could think of was being with Jenny Lynn, making her his...one last time. Then he'd go make things right with Nick. But first...holding her hands tightly in one of his, he reached down and yanked off her pants. He kissed her, frowning when she didn't kiss him back. "Jenny Lynn," he murmured, struggling to undo his jeans with one hand, but he eventually got it done, and roughly shoved down his underwear. "See how much I want you, baby," he whispered as he sprung free, groaning with pleasure when he felt himself pressing at her entrance. He loved her so much...nobody felt like she did...

Jennifer had stopped pleading with Kevin to stop the second he'd pulled his pants down, realizing he was no longer hearing her. She was crying softly instead, her eyes wide in a combination of terror, and a strange sense of wonder that this was happening at all...she couldn't believe it. This was Kevin....she was unable to stifle a groan when she felt him roughly shove himself inside of her, she was in no way excited, and it hurt. A lot.

"God, I love you, Jenny Lynn," Kevin moaned when he felt her softness envelop her. She was so tight, so hot...he pulled out, smiling when he heard her moan softly. She did love him...he quickly established a rhythm, holding her hips tightly in his hands as he took his pleasure from her. He cried out her name with a loud bellow as he came deep within her, collapsing on top of her body to catch his breath.

"Get off of me," Jennifer whispered, pushing at Kevin's sweaty mass with her hands. She could feel a wetness pooling between her legs, along with a dull, throbbing pain. Please...let this be a nightmare..."get out of me," she added, crying softly when she realized he was still inside of her.

Kevin obliged, rolling off of her with a soft groan. "I love you, Jenny Lynn," he said lazily, looking at her though narrowed green eyes.

Jennifer stood up and pulled up her pants, shaking her head slowly. "You don't know what love is anymore, Kevin," she wiped at her face and tried to fix her hair, hoping nobody would be able to tell what had just occurred. "Please...I did what you want...go talk to Nick."

"You bet," Kevin stood up, buckling up his pants with a wry smile. "You'll always be mine, won't you. No matter what." He chuckled softly when the door just closed behind Jennifer without a reply. "Yeah, she'll always be mine."



Jennifer stumbled into the hallway, screaming in fear when she felt someone grab her. "NO!"

"Jenny, it's just me," Brian held her arms tight, his blue eyes widening when he saw the expression on Jennifer's face. "Jenny? What happened?"

Jennifer started crying, and she shook her head, turning away from him. "I need to get out of here," she said quickly, staring at the door to the bathroom. Before Kevin came back... "we have a hotel, right?" she asked Brian, she couldn't for the life of her remember if she had been to a hotel, or slept, since they'd gotten back here yesterday.

"I'll take you," Brian said firmly, putting an arm around her. Something was wrong, he could see that much...he walked her back to the waiting room, turning her over to Leighanne while he quietly explained to Howie and AJ where he was going.

"Did you find Kevin?" AJ asked. That had been the purpose for Brian leaving the waiting room...Kevin needed to talk to Nick. Soon.

Brian looked at AJ, his eyes sad. "I think he was with Jennifer."

AJ's eyes turned to Jennifer, his face falling when he took in her messy hair, tearstained cheeks, disheveled clothing. "What did he do to her?" he whispered, unsure at this point of what Kevin could have done.

"I don't know," Brian said softly, shaking his head. "I'm going to take her to the hotel, she's a wreck."

"She looks like..." Howie started, but AJ stopped him with a glare.

"I know what she looks like, D, you don't need to say it," he said, watching as Brian collected Jennifer from Leighanne and left, his bodyguard following closely behind. She looked like Kevin had raped her...was what she looked like.

But Kevin wasn't capable of such a thing...was he?

"I think maybe you should call the police," Howie said to AJ in a resigned voice. He'd been against the idea, but...if Kevin had hurt Jennifer...first Nick, now Jen...who was next?

AJ raised his eyes to look at Howie, his lower lip trembling as he met the older man's gaze. He'd suggested the idea in a rage before, but actually doing it... "Calling the cops on Kev, man, has it gotten that bad?"

"I think it has, Alex."

AJ pulled out his cellphone and sighed heavily, unable to believe he was doing what he was doing. "I love Kevin, you know?" He stared at the open cellphone in his hand, shaking his head.

"I know, AJ, I know." Howie looked at the phone, then at the door to Nick's room. "But if we want our little brother back... You know the number."

AJ took a deep breath, and slowly dialed 9-1-1.
Chapter 40 by old_archive
Jennifer emerged from the shower, her skin scrubbed and clean, dressed in a pair of sweats Brian had lent her. "Thanks," she smiled lightly, sitting next to him on the bed.

"No problem," Brian said softly, turning to look at her. He took her hand in his, rubbing the soft skin, his expression growing concerned when she started to cry. "Jenny..."

"Is it possible to be sick of crying?" Jennifer interrupted him, her eyes firmly fixed on her hands. "I feel like I have to have done it enough at this point...I mean...how much can one person cry, or hurt..."

"What did he do to you?" Brian asked, tears filling his eyes when Jennifer's hand jumped in his as if she'd been shocked. "He did hurt you, didn't he."

"He didn't mean to..." Jennifer whispered, wiping at the tears on her face. "He said he just loved me..."

Brian sighed and pulled Jennifer to him, his heart breaking when her arms went around his neck as she sobbed. "Jenny, what did he do..."

"I can't..." she shook her head against his neck, holding onto him tight.

"Jennifer," Brian pulled away from her slightly so he could look into her eyes, his blue eyes wide and sincere. "You can tell me, you know you can trust me."

Jennifer shook her head stubbornly and looked away, frowning at the soothing feeling of Brian's hand stroking her back. So misleading, such false hope, a touch like that... "I can't say it." If she didn't say it, it didn't happen. Or so she would convince herself. "We need to get back to Nicky..."

"Jenny, you're like a sister to me, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Brian tried again, unused to feeling so hopeless. What had Kevin done...

"Not this," Jennifer whispered, and pushed his arms away, standing up. "We need to get back to the hospital."

"You need some sleep, Jenny," Brian argued, frowning when she started walking towards the door anyway. "Jennifer, what good will you be to Nick if you're sick too?"

"What good am I to Nick anyway?" Jennifer shot back, shaking her head. After what had happened...Nick would never touch her again...she was sure of that. "We have to get back there."

Brian's brow wrinkled as he contemplated what Jennifer meant, but he quickly dropped the thought as she disappeared into the hallway. You'd think, when she was running on as little sleep as she was, she would move a little slower, he grumbled, grabbing his coat as he followed her out the door.



"Who are you calling, Alex?" Kevin walked into the waiting room to see AJ and Howie huddled over a cellphone in the corner, and he quickly joined them, looking at the phone questioningly.

"Nobody," AJ closed the phone with a snap, glaring at Kevin. "Are you going to go talk to Nick?" He looked the older man up and down, noting with a frown his flushed cheeks, untucked shirt, belt misbuckled.

"Yeah," Kevin nodded, before looking at Howie. "You ok?"

Howie almost laughed at Kevin's question, but he just shrugged and pointed to Nick's room. "Go, man, time's wasting."

Kevin walked to Nick's room, pushing open the door slowly. "Hi," he said softly, seeing Nick's mother sitting by his bedside, his hand tightly clasped in hers.

"Oh, Kevin," Jane Carter stood up and went to hug the man. When the rest of the group had shown up without him, she'd wondered what had happened to him. "Nick will be glad to see you," she squeezed Kevin's hand tight before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

"Are you glad to see me?" Kevin said softly, turning his gaze to Nick. He sat down in the chair recently vacated by his mother, shaking his head as he took in the mass of machines keeping his younger brother alive. "Damn, Nicky, I swear, I never meant to hurt you like this..." he took Nick's hand in his, his brow wrinkling when he felt how cold his skin was. "I do love you, don't you know that, Nick? We need you, all of us do...I don't want you to die."

He sat in silence for a while, thinking about how strange things had gotten...how messed up... "See, I told you never to touch her." He sighed and squeezed Nick's hand, shaking his head. "If only you'd listened to me...none of this would ever have happened."

Kevin bit his lip and smiled wryly, remembering how good he'd felt buried deep inside of Jennifer just moments before, her body the sweetest, most perfect heaven he'd ever known. "Jenny Lynn is mine, you know. I told you that a long time ago...why did you have to try to change that?" He chuckled softly, and patted Nick's hand. "They say you can hear me, that you know what's going on. How's this for what's going on, Nicky?" He stood up and leaned over Nick, his mouth in the younger man's ear, his breath ruffling his blond hair with his chilling words. "While you're in here, enjoying your little coma, I'm fucking your girlfriend."

He stood up straight and grinned, an evil, wicked grin. "You're not gonna die now, are you, Nicky. She loves you, Nick, she really does. But you're in here....and I'm not. Without you around, she'll be mine, forever."

Kevin's eyes narrowed as he thought he saw Nick's eyelids flicker, but he shook his head, laughing at his own gullibility. "I know, you don't really hear me. Doesn't matter, either way, Nick, Jenny Lynn is mine, and always will be. I'd just rather you didn't die, that's all, I really do like having you around.." He bent down and kissed the younger man's cheek quickly before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

They'd told him to talk to Nick, and he'd done just that.

No problem in having some fun with it, now, was there.
Chapter 41 by old_archive
"Any change?" Jennifer asked the crowd in the waiting room, sighing when she only received dull looks in reply.

"Kevin talked to him," AJ told Brian, turning to Jennifer in surprise when she gasped in horror.

"What did he say?" She asked, her face white as a sheet.

AJ shrugged, "hopefully that he loved him, wanted him back, same stuff we're all saying."

"Who's in there now?"

"Howie," AJ hadn't even gotten the name out before Jennifer was past him, walking into Nick's room.

"Hi Howie," she said softly, seeing the man sitting on the side of the bed, looking at Nick intensely.

"Jenny," Howie stood up when he saw her approach, waving her to the bed. "I'm sure he'd rather be with you."

Jennifer's eyes filled with tears, and she nodded slowly, hoping that would always be the case. "Thanks," she said as the door closed behind him, before crawling up on the bed and wrapping her arms around Nick. "I'm so sorry, baby," she whispered, sobbing into his chest. "Nicky, please...I'm so sorry...." She couldn't believe what had happened...Kevin...he'd...god...

"What are you sorry for?" AJ asked her softly, standing in the open doorway.

"I hadn't heard the door open," she said in surprise, sitting up to look at him.

"Why are you sorry?" AJ walked to the bed and sat down, looking at Nick. "Why are you apologizing to Nicky?"

"Don't...AJ..." Jennifer ran her hand over Nick's chest, shaking her head. She couldn't say it, much less in front of him...not when he could hear her.

"We almost called the cops, before," AJ told her, his eyes widening when she turned to stare at him. "You have a problem with that?"

"On Kevin?" She said, her blue eyes wide in surprise.

"He tried to kill Nick, he raped you..."

Jennifer gasped and jumped off the bed, backing away from AJ. "Don't say that."

"He did, didn't he," AJ said softly, standing up and walking towards Jen. "Jenny, he's sick..."

"No...not in front of Nick," Jennifer said, sharply, waving her hands at AJ. "God, he doesn't have to know, not now..."

"Kevin raped you," AJ repeated, his face falling as he saw Jennifer dissolve into tears. "Oh, Jenny, I'm so sorry..."

Jennifer felt AJ pull her into a hug, and she shook her head, "no, AJ, I'm the one who's sorry. So, so sorry..."



"Check it out," Howie looked at the television in surprise. "Kevin did the press conference alone." He hadn't even noticed Kevin leaving to go speak with the cameras, but evidently he had, there he was on the news, telling the world that their thoughts and prayers should be with Nick tonight.

"He looks very concerned," AJ said with a sneer, shaking his head. "Where the fuck is he now?"

"Who cares." Jennifer said softly, she'd been sitting quietly in the corner for nearly an hour after leaving Nick's room so someone else could visit.

"I'm here," Kevin was standing in the doorway, looking at Jennifer with a concerned expression. "You alright, Jenny Lynn?"

"The cameras are outside," Howie told him, frowning when Kevin's face fell. "What?"

"I did that press conference because I had to, none of the rest of you are in any shape to do it," Kevin shook his head in frustration. "I love Nicky just as much as the rest of you do, but I also want to see that he has a group left to come back to."

"Bullshit," AJ hissed, his eyes narrowing when Kevin just disappeared into Nick's room. "His sister's in there..."

"Guess not anymore," Brian said, seeing BJ walking out of the room, closing the door behind her. "What do you think he's saying to Nick?"

"He better be saying how sorry he is," AJ said, shaking his head. "He fucking better..."



"The fans are going nuts, Nicky, you wouldn't believe it," Kevin said with a wry smile, sitting in the chair next to his bed. "They love you so much, they're all outside, holding candles, half of them are crying non-stop, it's amazing. So you gotta come back...you see?"

He took a deep breath and wincing at the sound of the awful clanking of the respiration keeping the younger man alive. "I think Jenny told them what happened...they keep looking at me all weird. Did they tell you?" His green eyes narrowed, and he looked at Nick closely, bending close to him. "What did they tell you, Nicky? That I fucked your girlfriend? Or that I raped her..."

Kevin sat back up, running a hand through his hair slowly. "I didn't, you know. I mean, I guess she said no, and yeah, I guess she was crying, but you know, she hasn't stopped crying since the day you got hurt, so it's not like THAT meant anything..." he paused, realizing what he'd just said. "So she said no...but it's me...she never really can say no to me. You knew that, didn't you, Nicky. I was always the one who loved her more than that, you knew it, and it was killing you..." He stopped and shook his head, "sorry, bad choice of words."

His eyes widened in surprise when he heard the steady rhythm of the respirator pause, and he stood up, staring at the machine. "Nick?" He held his chest as he felt his heart pound, holding his breath until it resumed a normal rhythm again. "Oh jesus, Nicky, don't scare me like that. I love you, man, you gotta come back, ok?"

Kevin had just walked into the waiting room when the respirator stopped working behind him, the shrill peal of the monitor by the bed flatlining piercing the air. He turned around to stare back into Nick's room as hospital personnel appeared as if from out of nowhere, charging into Nick's room at top speed.

"Oh god, no!" Jennifer cried, jumping up and running to the room, only stopping when Brian grabbed her tight to stop her from getting in the way of the doctors.

"Let them save him," Brian said to her softly, holding her tightly as she sobbed, watching the doctor's frantically work on his friend. He turned his head away when he saw one of the doctors crack Nick's chest, the sight not being one anybody needs to see, ever.

"No," Jennifer whispered when she heard the monitor turn off, turning around just in time to see a doctor covering Nick's blond head with a sheet. "NO!" She screamed as she fell, Brian unable to support her weight as he broke down as well. The two of them ended up on the floor together, each holding the other tight as they sobbed, the awful truth beginning to settle in. "I love him, Brian, how can I live without him?" she whispered, feeling like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest.

"I don't know, Jenny," Brian replied, tears streaming down his face as he watched the doctors wheel Nick's body out of the room. "I don't know."

"I'll be here for you, Jenny Lynn," Kevin pulled Jennifer up and into his arms, noting in her grief she was unable to fight him. "I told you I'd always love you...I'll never say goodbye...I promise..."
Chapter 42 by old_archive
"Oh my god!" Kevin screamed when he found Jennifer's body on the bathroom floor, her skin gray and sallow. His eyes widened when he spied the piece of paper on her stomach, and he picked it up, his body crumpling in a cry when he read the first line. "Oh god, Jenny Lynn, what have you done," he whispered, groaning as he heard a loud scream of a child reverberate through the house. He picked up his wife's hand, a tear falling from his eye when he felt her cold skin against his, and he ignored the cries, reading the paper in his hand instead.
Dear Nick,

Today is a very significant day to me, to you too, I bet, wherever you are, I'm sure you remember what happened a year ago today. You died, and while I may not have died physically, I died that day too...once when Kevin raped me, and again when you left without me.

Howie and AJ wanted nothing to do with him afterwards...I think AJ's been doing some solo stuff, and Howie's working on his club.

Kevin divorced Kristen very quietly in the aftermath of your death, she'd seen him push you, and had enough of his games. She just signed the papers he served her with.

One month after his divorce, Kevin and I got married in Las Vegas. It was what he had wanted when the same had happened when I was 15...I guess he got his wish. Not exactly the fairytale wedding I'd always wanted, but then again, someone had gone and stolen my prince from me...

Nine months to the day I died, you died, and my world ended, I gave birth to a little boy, Nickolas. I figured Kevin owed me that much, at least, if I couldn't be your wife, at least I could bear your namesake. You'd laugh if you saw him, Nicky, he has blond hair and blue eyes, like me, and you...he looks nothing like Kevin. It serves him right, doesn't it?

Why am I writing this letter to you, of all people? After all, isn't a suicide note supposed to be for the living?

There isn't anyone living I really care to speak with anymore...the only person I wish to speak with is already dead, so I am writing this letter to you. Maybe you'll get it before I arrive, know what's coming your way. Do you miss me, baby? I miss you so much....

My little boy...my little Nicky. His father will take good care of him, I'm sure, and may he be a daily reminder of the horrible, awful act he committed. He thinks he got away scot-free. May Kevin learn that NOTHING in life is free, and may all the powers of Hell come to destroy him if he is not the best father to Nicky he can be. He owes me, and you, at least that much.

Brian...Brian has been my savior since your death. He is Nicky's godfather, and I die content knowing that he will ensure no harm comes to my son. I do not want to leave him, but Kevin...he left me no choice...

I cannot be Nicky's mother, I am incapable of that. For as he will be to Kevin, he is a daily reminder to me of the day I lost my heart.

I love you, Nicky, and I always will.

I am so sorry for breaking Kevin's rule. I never realized how grave the consequences would be.

I will be with you soon. Please...please forgive me.

Jennifer
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