Under Pressure

Chapter 1

I don't even know why I went into the coffee shop to begin with. I don't even like coffee. I guess I just needed to get away, and the 'Cozy Coffee Shop' just sounded ... well, I don't know, cozy. I thought I could just take some time out from the everyday hustle and bustle of my life. The only thing I succeeded in was making that hustle and bustle even more crazy than it already had been. I've discovered I have a gift for that.

It was one of those mornings when all you wanted to do was curl up in front of the fireplace with a big mug of hot cocoa. Of course, the hotel we were staying at didn't have a fireplace, and they didn't serve hot cocoa at six in the morning. Only crazy people got up that early without a choice. Like me. I couldn't sleep. And I wasn't about to lay there staring at the ceiling, listening to Brian's peaceful breathing in the other bed. I had to get out or I'd go nuts.

So I got up, showered and was dressed in fifteen minutes, ready to go. I think that was a record for me this early in the morning. If only the guys could see me now. I looked out the window, for the first time noticing the fact that the sky looked ready to explode with rain. I grabbed a blue hooded sweatshirt of Brian's off the back of the chair and pulled it over my head. I wasn't about to waste time digging through my pile of junk to find my jacket. I saw some bills on the dresser and grabbed those too, stuffing them in my pocket. Hey, what Brian didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

The coffee shop was the only place on the street I figured I could go. I mean, the 'Laundromatic Masters' and 'Poppa's Plumbing' just didn't appeal to me. And nothing else was even open, so I didn't have many choices.

The bells jingled as I pushed the door open, and the smell of fresh ground coffee greeted me. That's the thing about coffee- it smells so good, but I just can't drink it. Maybe next year. Soda was usually a better source of caffeine for my refined tastes. I slid in a booth by the window so I could watch the rainy day and ran a hand through my blond hair that seemed to want to stay in my face.

I was looking at the sheet with all the different types of coffee, slightly in awe of all the different flavors that I never knew existed, when someone slid in the booth across from me. I looked up in surprise, finding a woman at least ten years older than me, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Hi ..." I wondered if I looked as confused as I felt. Probably.

"Take this," she whispered. I looked down at the object she slid across the smooth tabletop and frowned. A shiny silver key, about the size of my pinky, stared up at me. I looked back at the woman. "Take it," she repeated.

"What's it for?"

"You don't need to know. Just don't lose it," she said, getting up from the table.

"Wait, who are you?"

"I-"

A man suddenly came out of the backroom and grabbed the lady around the neck with one extremely big hand. My eyes widened. He was dressed head to toe in black, a mask covering his face. Did I accidently step unto the set of a movie without anyone letting me know? This sort of stuff doesn't usually happen. At least not to me.

"I can't find it," the man growled. His voice was deep and gravelly, the type of voice you don't forget. Believe me, I know. The only feature of his face that I could see were his eyes. I wish I hadn't. They were cold and ... just blank. It's hard to describe what I mean, but they sent a chill down my spine. They were lifeless.

"I told you where it was! Please!" The woman's voice broke and I reached out for the key, sliding it towards me silently and hoping it wasn't what the guy was looking for. Damn, that would be bad. I started edging toward the end of my seat. I wanted to get out of there and quick.

"And I think you're lying," the man hissed. I watched his grip tighten around her neck and swallowed uneasily. Suddenly I felt frozen. I couldn't move. "Tell me where it is," he continued in that same voice. My eyes were on his other hand, which was moving towards the inside of his coat. God, no. Please don't notice me.

"I told you," she sobbed. Her face went pale as quickly as it had turned red and his hand finally reached a shiny piece of metal in his jacket. That was the first time I had ever seen a gun in first person and it scared the hell out of me. I suddenly wished I had never woken up that morning.

"Bye, bye Fiona," came the gruff answer. In less than a second, his hand flew up, a shot rang out, and the woman who had been standing there in tears a moment ago now lay in a red puddle on the floor. All in a second. The shot echoed through my head. I didn't think I'd ever be able to forget that sound. I still don't. My eyes were glued to the lifeless body on the floor, the crimson blood pooling in between the cracks in the spotless checkered tiles.

No one shouted 'candid camera'. No one shouted 'cut' or 'take two'. This wasn't some action movie or made for television drama. This was someone's life. It certainly wasn't mine, that's for sure. I didn't think I could move until suddenly the masked man's eyes turned slowly in my direction.

"Oh, we had a customer," he started in his rough voice. "Look at that ... Don't move, boy."

Yeah, right. I was out of the booth and through the door before he even raised his hand. One flash of metal was all it took. A shot ran out behind me but I didn't even turn. Lucky for me that street had no traffic or someone probably would've run me over easily. All I could think about was getting into our hotel and my room in one piece. Without any holes in me.

I heard yelling behind me but I didn't stop. I don't think I'd ever run that fast in my life. I burst through the glass doors of the hotel we were staying at in less than a minute and ran across the lobby for the elevator. The man behind the desk yelled at me to slow down, but I couldn't even stop to breath. I slammed my fist against the up button and waited.

And waited. I pressed it three more times. I knew quite well that wouldn't speed it up any, but I did it anyway. My hands were shaking by now and I felt like I was hyperventilating. My breaths came in uneven gasps. The doors suddenly slid open smoothly with a ding and I basically fell inside, pressing the button for the doors to close. As that was happening, my index finger wavered over the floor numbers.

Floor number, floor number ... Dammit, what floor were we on? I tried to remember what the key said on it but my mind was blank. I dug through my pockets with shaky hands and came up with nothing except for that dumb silver key. No room key. Knew I forgot something.

I pressed six and hoped it was right. We stayed in way too many hotels for me remember all the different room numbers. That was my excuse. I took a deep breath. Six sounded right. I tried to convince myself that nobody was following me. I think the lobby would stop somebody donned in a ski mask, right? Hopefully. Unless he shot them all first.

I swallowed. Not good, not good. The elevator dinged again and the doors slid open again. I stepped out and tried not to fall over my feet. You know when you get really scared and you feel like you might faint? That's how I felt. If I got to my room without crashing into a wall or to the floor, I'd count myself lucky, that's for sure.

I took a right and tried to remember which room I had with Brian. A green plant in the corner of the hall near the window looked familiar, but I couldn't be sure. What if every floor had the same plant? I would die of humiliation if I knocked on the wrong door this early in the morning and woke up someone I didn't know. Then I'd be dead. Hell, I would kill someone if they woke me up this early and I didn't know them.

623. That was it. Or was it 523? I knew it had a '23' because that was Michael Jordan's number and I wouldn't forget that. I mean, I just did, but I remembered it, right? So far so good. I was going to collapse any second so I just knocked loudly on 623. I waited a second and then knocked again. Damn, Brian, open up.

"Nick?" The door opened slowly and Brian stood there with tousled hair and sleep filled eyes. He made some remark but I pushed through and slammed the door shut, locking it. The handle's lock, the latch lock, the chain lock. I debated pushing the dresser against the door but I didn't want Brian to think anything was wrong.

I looked at him. Too late.

"Why are you shaking?" Brian demanded. "Where were you?" Great. Now he was wide awake and worried. He touched my arm and I realized that I was still shaking. Taking a deep breath, I tried to appear calm, cool, and collected.

It was impossible.

"I ... I just wanna go to bed," I mumbled, pulling away from his gaze. I knew in just about another second I would break down bawling to him and I didn't want that to happen. I trudged toward my bed and fell face down on the crumpled sheets and blankets. That way, even if I did become a wreck, at least he couldn't see my face.

Suddenly the image of the woman in her own pool of blood flashed in front of my eyes and I shuddered, involuntarily moaning. Maybe this was a bad dream. If I went back to sleep, all I had to do was wake up and I'd be back to normal life. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to sleep. Brian had a different idea.

"Nick, what's the matter with you?"

"Nothing." I'm not the one lying in a pool of blood across the street. I wondered if I should call somebody and let them know. The cops or something. I shuddered.

"Where'd you go anyway?"

"The lobby," I lied. We kind of had an unwritten rule with each other that we would never leave the hotel without telling someone else in the group where we were going. We had always taken it seriously because there had been way too many times in the past we spent sitting around worrying about where the hell someone went. We still take it seriously. I think Kevin was the one that had pretty much established that one with us. Of course, I had to be the first one to break it.

"Oh." Brian sounded like he expected some other extravagent answer. He knew me too well. I wasn't about to tell him though. One, I hadn't been where I was supposed to be; and two, it would only make it more real for me. In my own little way I was still trying to convince myself that I had been in some strange dreamworld and it would all go away. The voice in the back of my head kindly told me it wouldn't.

"If someone knocks on the door, don't open it," I said into my pillow.

"Huh? Why?"

"Just don't."

"Nick, you're scaring me."

Welcome to my world. I was scared out of my mind. I heard the other bed creak as he sat down on its edge. Damn, I think I sensed a sitdown talk coming on. I wasn't in the mood.

"Go back to bed, Frick. I'm sorry I woke you." My voice was muffled into the bed but I didn't feel like moving my head to look at him.

"Not 'till you tell me why you're suddenly acting like someone tried to kill you out there."

Bingo. Wow, never thought he'd guess it. Impressive. I should line him up as a psychologist or something like that. Forget singing as a career. I mumbled some answer into the pillow. I'm not even sure what I said myself. I wasn't really thinking too much at that moment.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said shakily. I heard Brian let out a long sigh. Was he going for the pity act or something? I rolled over and looked him straight in the eye, trying to stay expressionless. He stared back, eyes begging me to tell him what was wrong. In most cases I would have, but like I said, this wasn't real.

"Frack-"

"I had a bad dream," I interrupted. "I'm gonna watch TV." That's all it was, a bad dream. I slid off the bed and sat on the floor in front of the television , grabbing the controller from the dresser. I flipped it on and channel surfed for a few seconds. Nothing really caught my eye, so I just kept some cartoon network on.

"Nick-"

"I'll put it low so you can sleep ..." I assured him, pretending that's what I thought was the matter. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I leaned back against the foot of the bed and turned the volume a few notches lower to satisfy any objections. Now leave me alone, Brian ...

"Do you wanna talk?" came the immediate next question.

I shook my head silently and concentrated on Scooby-Doo. I wonder if that guy knew where I was. My stomach sank as I slowly realized that yes, this was the only hotel on the whole block. The man would have to be an idiot not to figure it out. I bit my lip and suddenly regretted being famous. Maybe he didn't recognize me. What would a guy like that listen to our type of music for? Maybe he didn't even see my face.

The shots kept echoing in my ears. It sounded like a cannon. The shot would slam through my head and then I would see the blood. So much blood. Over and over, the same thing played in my head like a broken record. I rested my forehead on my knees and took a deep breath. Calm down, Nick. There's nothing to worry about.

I suddenly felt really cold. I couldn't get my hands to stop shaking so I shoved them in my pockets. What was the matter with me? I wished it all would go away. I glanced over my shoulder at Brian, who was under the covers in his bed again. I don't know why I was disappointed at that- I was the one who told him to leave me alone and go back to sleep- but somehow I was.

I rested my head back in my arms and shut my eyes.

-

Someone was shaking my arm and calling my name.

Without opening my eyes, I knew that I was lying on the floor, still in front of the TV. I didn't feel like moving though. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and kindly told the person where they could go. That only got me a soft punch to the stomach and I knew I had to get up.

"Nick, come on, it's ten o'clock. You got to sleep late, so let's move," Brian encouraged, shaking my arm harder. It was annoying, but I could sleep through it. "C'mon, Nicky."

"No," I mumbled. "Go away." I never knew that the floor could be so comfortable. The recurring image in my head suddenly came back to haunt me and I moaned. Thanks Brian, for bringing me back to cold reality.

"I'll go get Kevin to wake you up then," Brian warned. Right now, I could care less, but I shook my head no. "Then get up, buddy boy. We have to get something to eat and then we have an interview at one, and we have to warm-up at the venue, and-"

I zoned out his voice. I just wanted to sleep. My theory that everything would go away when I woke up was disappointingly proven wrong, but I figured I could try again at least. One more time ...

"Nick." Brian must've lost patience then because he simply grabbed me under the arms and physically lifted me off the carpetted floor. "C'mon man, move it."

"I'm going, I'm going," I muttered. Maybe being busy today would be good. I could simply forget about what had happened and move on. I mean, there wasn't anything to worry about anyway, right? Right. Life was perfect.

But of course, as we all learn, nothing's perfect.

-

"Why can't we eat breakfast at McDonald's?"

We all stared at AJ tiredly. Sure, Mickey D's breakfast sandwiches are pretty decent; just not seven days a week, four weeks a month, twelve months a year, like AJ preferred. I seriously questioned that guy's taste.

"Aje, if I eat there again, I'm gonna be sick," Howie said. He spoke for all of us I think. I definitely agreed.

"But-"

"AJ, please. We eat there everyday. You'll probably have dinner there tonight," Kevin said. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or amused. It was hard to tell with Kev sometimes. "You can at least eat some real food for breakfast, okay?"

"Sure, fine, whatever."

We were eating in the hotel's restaurant, downstairs in the lobby, like we sometimes had in the past. Whenever AJ didn't get his way. I wasn't really paying much attention to anything after we ordered. My eyes were focussed entirely on the door, expecting a masked man to appear there any second.

" ... right, Nick?"

"Huh?" I looked at AJ questioningly, but he rolled his eyes. "Earth to Nicky."

"Shut up."

"You okay, Nick?" Howie asked, sending me a strange look. It was like he thought there was something the matter with me or something like that. Give a tired guy a break, D. Not all of us can think straight in the morning.

"I'm fine."

"You look kinda pale," Kevin noted. "You're not getting sick again, are you?" I shook my head, trying to shake some of that worry of his face. He didn't seem convinced though. "Just tired?"

"Yeah."

He nodded and went back to stirring his ice tea. Being tired was nothing new. I wondered what he would say if he knew there was chance that a ski-mask wearing, gun wielding, trigger happy lunatic was after me. I couldn't even imagine what he might say. I was tempted to ask.

I looked up from the napkin I had been folding over and over again and found them all staring at me. I raised an eyebrow. They sure knew how to make a guy feel comfortable. "What? What'd I do?" The innocent act almost always worked on them.

"Nothing, Nick. You're just weird."

"Thanks, Jay." I could always count on AJ for a kind word or two. Yeah, right. I really don't think he should be the one to talk about being weird anyway. I watched as he adjusted his lime colored glasses and sent me a thin smile. I stuck out my tongue in reply.

"Guys, stop," Kevin started. I think sometimes he was embarrassed to be seen in public with us. At least, that's the way he acted. I usually had fun giving him a reason to feel that way. Today I was too busy watching the glass doors for any unexpected visitors. I think I almost fainted when the waiter came up behind me with our orders. I was really jumpy.

"Are you waiting for somebody?" Howie spoke up after our food was set in front of us. I pushed the edge of my food with my fork and looked up. I knew he was referring to why I kept staring at the door, so I shook my head.

"No, just lookin' ..."

"At what?"

"The door ..."

"Any particular reason?"

"No, not really." I noticed my hand holding the fork was shaking so I let it go. It clattered on the tabletop loudly and I took a deep breath. Calm down, Nick ...

"You sure you're okay, Nick?" Brian's voice had a worried tone. I took that as my way out.

"Um, I'm gonna go back to the room ... I'm not really hungry." I pushed my plate in Kevin's direction and he looked at me with that fatherly expression he got going every now and then.

"You feel sick?" What was it with him and my being sick? He was like the chronic worrier for our health or something. I think I could take care of myself. I sighed.

"I'm tired."

"Okay, go get some sleep then. But you have to be ready for the interview later, alright buddy?" I think he almost sounded sorry about that. I just nodded. I could be dying and I would still have to be ready for the interview.

"Sure, Kev."

I got out of there as quickly as I could and raced up to my room. The ride in the elevator was hell. Okay, I admit I may be a little paranoid. I think I upset a few people at the hotel because everytime the elevator stopped on another floor to pick up anyone else, I always pressed the close button before the doors even opened halfway. But I didn't want to take a chance with that guy who might be chasing me stepping on.

I went through the same routine as before with locking the door. I checked to make sure the room was the way we left it and then collapsed on my bed. I was never leaving this room again. I wonder if they would accept an over-the-phone interview. It wasn't like they didn't know the answers to the questions themselves anyway. It was always the same interviews over and over again.

I tried to convince myself once again that no one was after me. I tried to put myself in the masked man's position. That was kind of hard but I figured that if I had killed someone, I definitely wouldn't stick around in the town of the crime too long to see if anyone would notice me. Maybe he had already gotten out. It was possible.

But not likely. How long were we staying here anyway? Too long, no matter what. I clutched my pillow to my chest and took a shaky breath. I needed to tell somebody before I lost it completely. But I didn't want to get the guys involved. That would just put them in danger too. They didn't need that.

Let's see if sleeping would get me anywhere this time.

-

Chapter 2

Once again, not surprisingly, sleeping didn't do the trick. I woke up with the same gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach and the images replaying in my head. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling for a second. The pure white paint soon turned red and I groaned. I couldn't take this.

Just as before, I planted myself in front of the TV. If sleeping couldn't take it away, maybe watching some mindless sitcom would. As the opening theme music to some soap opera cued in, the phone rang shrilly. I jumped, then realized the guys were probably just calling to check up on me. They were annoying like that sometimes. I leaned over and grabbed the reciever.

"Hello?"

There was a short pause where I could hear some heavy breathing on the line, but no one said anything. I was about to hang up when suddenly, the voice from hell revisited.

"Hello ... Remember me?"

I would recognize that creepy, raspy voice anywhere. My hand tightened around the phone and I almost couldn't breath. It was a good thing I was sitting down right then because I promise you I would've fallen over on the spot, I felt so weak.

"You there?" the gravelly voice continued. It didn't have any emotion to the tone but I could just imagine the guy laughing at me, where ever he was. What if he was in the hotel? And he obviously knew my room number because he got through on the phone. I shivered. Oh, God ...

"I just wanted to let you know a few things, boy ... One. You-"

I hung up before he got any further. I didn't want to hear what he had to tell me. What could it be anyway? One, your days are numbered? I would honestly rather not know. But before I could move from my spot, the phone rang again.

Once, twice, three times ... The guy didn't give up, did he. I began to lose patience as it reached the tenth ring, so I picked up the entire phone and threw it against the wall. It made a pretty loud crash when it made contact, cracking into several pieces of plastic, along with ripping its cord out of the wall. Not to mention the fact that there was now a noticeably large dent in the plaster.

Damn. Add even more trouble to my list for today. Wait until the guys got a load of that mess. I'm not a violent kind of guy, but I just kind of lose it sometimes I guess. Like that for example. I don't really think about what I'm doing until it's over. I debated whether to hide the whole thing, but I figured the guys would notice soon enough that the phone was missing and take it from there. Oh well.

I tried to look on the bright side. No more phone calls from the masked stalker anymore. That was a plus. I tried to convince myself that that outweighed the con side of the situation at hand, but I was just frustrated with everything.

Back to TV, the reliever of the mind.

I watched some nameless, dumb, try-and-be-funny show for about twenty minutes. That's when I heard a knock at the door and lost another ten years off my life. What if the dude was trying for a direct approach now? I was reluctant to even go near the door for fear I would be shot through it. But I figured if it was one of the guys they'd get pissed that I didn't let them in.

Sure enough, when I looked through the peephole I saw Kev standing there. That was a major relief to say the least. I opened the door a few inches and decided to be a smartass. That was my job.

"Who is it?"

"It's Kev, Nicky. Let me in."

"Stranger," I objected, starting to push the door closed. Kevin pushed back, forcing it to open.

"Stop, Nick."

"Stanger!" I gave a hard shove against the door but Kev was bigger than me. He made it through and grabbed me playfully.

"Didn't anybody ever tell you not to play with doors?" His voice had a teasing tone as he physically lifted me about a foot off the ground. I laughed.

"Nope."

"Well, now I have," he stated, setting me down easily. "You're feeling better, huh?" I just shrugged at him. "Well just take it easy today." He trailed off as his eyes followed the dent on the wall to the broken phone on the floor. By the look on his face I think that I should have hidden it.

"I can explain ..." Actually, not really, but I figured I would get a word in anyway.

"I sure hope so." He looked at me expecting an answer. I searched my mind for a plausible reason.

"There was a tornado," I filled in. I know, real plausible, right? "But don't worry, I'm okay." Kevin made grab for me but I pulled away.

"Funny man," he muttered. "Why'd you throw it?"

"It kept ringing. And ringing." I looked at him. It was the honest truth.

"Why didn't you just answer it?" he asked, exasperated. I knew he was just worried about our group's reputation. We didn't exactly want to be known as the hotel trashers.

"I did."

"And?"

"No one said anything," I answered flatly. He looked at me funny, but I guess he decided to believe me.

"Okay, we'll get it fixed," he said finally. I was kind of surprised that he was pretty calm. Sometimes he had the tendency to get overworked over small things like that. If only he knew my problem was a little bit more than a broken phone and wasn't so easily 'fixed'.

"Okay. Where are the guys?"

"Downstairs waiting for me to get you," Kevin answered. "We have to get going."

"I hate interviews," I muttered as I followed him out the door. I was actually kind of glad to be getting out of the hotel room though. It was unnerving knowing that the masked man knew exactly where I was staying. It was freaky. I'd rather be around the guys then be alone.

"It shouldn't be long," Kevin answered, pressing the down button for the elevator.

"How long are we staying in this hotel?" We stepped on and I pressed the button for the lobby.

"A couple more days I think."

"Oh." That was disappointing. I was hoping that we were going to be leaving tomorrow. But things just didn't seem to be going my way lately. I knew that much at least.

The doors opened with a ding when we reached the lobby and I saw the guys waiting by the couches. As we made our way over to them they stood up, ready to go. I wondered how long they'd been waiting.

"Yo, sleepy," AJ greeted. "Did you get your beauty sleep?"

I made a face at him and he grinned. The other guys dragged us to the doors.

-

I had a scare when we were at the magazine's building. We had been sitting around in the waiting room for a couple minutes, just lounging around on the couches before the interview, when being the genius I am, I decided to go look for something to drink. After the guys warning me to be back in less than five minutes or else, I headed out.

I knew there wasn't anything on the floor we were on, so I took the elevator up to where there was a cafeteria and bought bottled water. I was heading back to the elevator when I noticed this burly looking guy coming up from behind me. Okay, that was fine. No sweat.

He waited for the elevator with me. That was a little more nerve wracking. Everytime I looked at him he turned away quickly. My heart must've been beating a hundred miles an hour by then. The elevator doors opened welcomingly and I paused, sending him a look.

Well it looked like he wasn't getting on unless I was, so I went ahead. I was pretty much stuck. I cursed at myself silently. I was so stupid. I felt my pockets and made out the outline of the key. Maybe if I threw it at him he would go away? I could hope, couldn't I?

I pressed my floor number as the doors closed. He crossed his arms over his chest. Same floor? Not likely. I gripped the metal handrail tightly, watching as my knuckles turned white. Stay calm, Nick ...

It reached the floor and the doors opened way too slowly. I quickly pushed off the side of the wall and in two steps reached the hall. The man grabbed my arm gently and I jumped, spinning around.

"Please ... God, I'll do anything. Just don't-"

"Excuse me?" He looked confused.

His voice immediately calmed me. It wasn't the gravelly voice that haunted my mind. It was soft and smooth. I let out breath of air and tried to smile at the man who must have thought me crazy by then.

"What?"

"I was just wondering if I could get an autograph for my daughter," the man said lightly. "Nick, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's me. Sure thing." I took the pad he handed me and wrote a short message to his daughter, whose name was Heather he said. I handed it back shakily and he thanked me.

"You just made her day with that," he said. I smiled.

"Thanks!"

He nodded and got back on the elevator, returning to where he came from I presume. I let out a long breath and leaned against the wall, wiping my face with hands. That was too close. People were going to start thinking that I was crazy soon. Hell, I was.

I nearly ran back to the guys, who were still where I left them.

"Hey," I greeted, gasping for breath. That sprint down the hallway had really done me in. I collapsed down next to Brian and took a drink from my bottle. I noticed Kevin glance at the clock on the wall and waited for him to mention my being late. Surprisingly he didn't.

"Are you cold?" Brian whispered. I shook my head and gave him a questioning look. "You're shaking," he said. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just outta breath."

"You can tell me if anything's up," he continued. I smiled. You see, that's why Brian was my best friend. He always let me know that he was there for me no matter what.

"I know."

I wondered if he would still be there for me when he found out the fact that I was a witness to murder and that the killer was after me. When did my life get so crazy?

"Bri, are the doors in the hotel bullet proof?" I asked suddenly. That was something that had been bothering me ever since the knock at the door. I kept thinking about how in movies people were blown away through doors.

Brian looked at me with a surprised expression. "Bulletproof, Nick? Why do you want to know that?"

"I dunno." I shrugged.

"I don't know if they are." He seemed to think for a second. "Is this because of your bad dream?"

"Yeah," I said. Brian just kept on giving me excuses. It was great.

"Well, don't worry about it, buddy."

Sure. Don't worry. You wouldn't be saying that if you knew that it was much more than just a bad dream.

-

Chapter 3

Did you ever wonder how things in life can change so quickly? How in one second everything in the world was just fine, not picture-perfect but doable, and in the next things were just spinning out of control? I felt like I was on one of those teapot rides and no one would let me off. It just kept getting faster and faster.

Yeah, you guessed it- I was wallowing in self-pity once again. There really wasn't much else for me to do. We didn't have much time before the concert because the interview had gone a little longer than expected. By a little I mean try a couple of hours. The editor of the magazine had decided to get the grand idea to throw in a photo shoot for the article they were writing, and voila, we were instant mannequins. I don't think I'll ever be able to smile again, at least not tonight.

So here I was, hanging with the guys. Fun, fun, fun. Let me tell you, these boys really knew how to have a good time when they're tired. I really didn't think it was a good idea for us all to be together, but then again I wasn't the one who wanted to be alone either. It was just that five short fuses crammed in one hotel room were pretty much bound to make an explosion sooner or later. And I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't be a participant.

So I played Nintendo with Brian. An easy, fun thing to do that didn't involve talking. Or much anyway.

"You can't do that, Nick."

"Do what?"

"That. Right there. Stop."

"What?" I looked over at him and threw my controller down. "Fine."

Just fine. I couldn't concentrate on anything anyway. I kept seeing the lady from that morning. Her face, with the tears streaming down her cheeks ... I should have done something. Instead, I had just looked on dumbly while her life was ended with one bullet. One bullet. I could have stopped it with one word. One move. In one second, my chance was gone because I was just too slow. Now a woman was dead because of me. Her family probably in pieces. I was so stupid and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. Nothing.

"You okay, Nick?" Brian was looking confused.

"I'm fine." Geez. Quit asking. Everything was fine. I just had to keep telling myself that and it would be true. Isn't that some psychological theory? Like if you kept repeating something you started to believe it? Well it would be now. Everything was fine. Okey dokey. Hunky dorey. Just ducky. Good. Peachy. Perfect.

I sighed. Why did I have a feeling that trying to brainwash myself was not going to work?

"You wanna play anymore?" Brian was still giving me that look.

"No. You won, okay?" I flipped off the game system with my foot.

"Now I know you're sick," Brian muttered. It was true, I never let anyone beat me with out putting up a fight. Brian knew it too. I just shrugged at him and pulled myself off the floor tiredly.

"I'm just tired ..." I threw myself on the bed next to AJ, who looked at me over his glasses and smirked.

"You look like shit, Nicky." No one ever said AJ wasn't blunt. I just shrugged at him. It had been a long day for all of us. He didn't look so perky himself but I didn't say anything. Like I said, I didn't want to be involved in an explosion. I could do without the bruises.

"Tired."

"So you've said."

"Well, I am."

"We're all tired, hon. Get over it." He rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever it was that he was doing before. Reading the comics from last Sunday I think. Fun for everyone.

The second the phone rang on the night table next to the bed, I jerked away from the sound. I was caught off guard. Not again. Please. Needless to say, this wasn't Brian's and my room. Our room was temporarily safe and disconnected from any stalker phone calls. The phone rang again, shaking the table. I tried my best to ignore it.

"Nick, get the phone," I heard Kevin say.

No way, Jose. Sure I was the closest, but so what? I wasn't about to answer it if my life depended on it. The scary thing was that it actually did. I ignored Kevin, who on the fourth ring reached over and grabbed the phone, simultaneously cuffing me in the head. I moved away. Nice one, Kev.

"Hello?" There was a pause where I held my breath. "Oh hey, Donna," I heard Kevin say easily. Okay, so it was a false alarm. I still wasn't taking any chances.

I chewed the string on the sweatshirt I was wearing absently as we listened to Kev on the phone. Donna never called with good news. We were probably adding more dates on to the tour or something like that. That would be fine except I kind of wanted to get home for once.

"What'd she want?" Howie asked when the phone was hung up. He looked like he expected some less that cheery news for us too.

"Donna wants us to do a meet-and-greet tomorrow," Kevin replied. I frowned at him. There went our day off.

"But, Kev ..." AJ groaned.

"Don't look at me, guys. It's not up to me."

"No extra dates, right?" Brian checked. Kevin shook his head. Well, that was good. I could handle a meet-and-greet. It would keep my mind off of things a little. Maybe. Hopefully.

-

"Thanks for coming and good night!"

The show went well. No one shot at me and no bombs were thrown on stage. Those were my major concerns. I was suddenly thankful for all the added security we had at the larger venues. It hadn't ever failed. Yet. I'd never had a murderer after me before so I really couldn't judge.

I pulled a towel over my head and grabbed a water bottle off of one of the tables. That's when I saw the note.

A big white envelope pinned to the side of my duffel bag on the couch. I looked around to see if any of the guys were watching me like it was a joke or something, but they were all busy doing their own thing and talking to other people. I frowned.

I took a big sip of water and headed over to my bag, sitting next to it and pulling off the envelope. I debated whether or not to open it. What the hell, a piece of paper couldn't hurt me. Nothing was written on the outside, but when I tore it open a piece of unlined note paper fell out. I read it slowly.

Meet me at the coffee shop tomorrow morning, same time as today. Bring the key.

Hell no. This was not happening. Come on, Nick, keep breathing.

My stomach was in knots. I gripped the arm of the couch tightly and tried to think. I was not meeting that guy. I was never going back to the coffee shop. Period. Simple as that. There was nothing else to think about.

I'd ignore it. Simple. Pretend I never got it. I crumpled the envelope and paper, shooting it toward the giant black garbage can next to the couch. Swish. Two points.

But wait a second, now I had no evidence for if I ever decided to go to the cops or tell the guys what happened. I glanced at the garbage can and just shook my head. No way was I digging through that thing to try and find the paper. Never. It wasn't worth it.

I was kind of unnerved the way that the note was able to get in here in the first place. Backstage was off limits. How did this guy keep finding me? I had convinced myself that I just had to get through the few days in this town and state, but now I wasn't so sure. This guy seemed pretty determined to hunt me down.

What was the significance to the key? It didn't seem like much to me. It looked like a key for a diary or something like that. Maybe a safe? That was probably it. I honestly don't even know where I put it. Somewhere in my pile of junk back at the hotel. The woman had told me not to lose it and I was definitely not going to break a dead woman's last wish. Especially one who had died because of me and my stupidity.

I caught sight of one of our bodyguards passing me and waved him over. "Todd!"

"Hey, little buddy." Todd was one of those huge, massive guys who made you feel like you're about four feet tall. He grinned at me. "What's up?"

"Did you see anyone back here? During the show?"

"Nope, it was all clear."

"You sure?"

He laughed deeply and gave my head a rough pat. "Yeah, I'm sure. That's my job isn't it?"

"Yeah ..." I gave him a half smile. Somehow that wasn't reassuring. Obviously someone had been back here to make sure I got that note, even if no one had seen them.

"What's the matter? The guys mess with your stuff or something?"

I laughed. "Nah."

"Well, if anyone's buggin' ya, just let me know, kid. I'll take care of 'em." He laughed again and I grinned.

"Thanks, man."

"No prob. I'll see you later," he said, moving away. I sighed. I would've felt better if they had noticed someone back here, that would at least mean that they noticed. The fact that no one saw anything made me even more uneasy.

"Nick! C'mon, let's go!"

I got up from the couch and slung my bag over my shoulder. Back to the hotel and probably a sleepness night awaiting me. Great. I couldn't wait.

-

The dim roar coming from the fans was giving me a headache. Sure it was a nice welcome when you first came in, but after ten minutes you kind of hoped some of the girls would kindly lose their voices. We knew they were all there, they didn't have to scream to make us realize.

There were a few things about meet-and-greets that bugged me. One, a lot of the people there who got in to see us had connections, so it really wasn't making their day to be there. They got in all the time. Second of all, the fans who wanted to see us only got about a total of two seconds with each of us. It was a "hi, bye" sort of thing going on. But I guess I couldn't really do anything about it. It had always been that way and probably always would be.

"Hi, Nick!" a girl squealed. I watched her walk up shakily to the table where me and the guys were sitting. The guards allowed five girls at the table at a time, moving one by one to each of us, keeping it going like a factory. That was exactly what it was like. I wondered if the other guys ever felt like a zoo exhibit.

"Hey ..." I greeted, reaching out with a smile to shake her hand. She couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen and the second she touched my hand she burst into tears. "Don't cry," I started gently as I signed her picture. She covered her mouth with her hand when I looked up at her.

"Sorry. I'm just so nervous." She giggled nervously and I smiled.

"Don't worry about it. You like the album?"

"I love it! I-"

"Keep the line moving," a guard said from behind me gruffly, interrupting whatever it was that she was going to say. I glared at him, but he kept his arms crossed stoically. I turned back to the girl and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry ... Thanks for coming, I hope we'll see you on the tour."

"Me too," she whispered, wiping away her tears as she moved onto Brian.

I looked up as the next girl came forward similiarly to the last. We went through an almost identical ordeal. Same with the next, and the next, and the next ...

Twenty minutes passed and I still had the same smile plastered on my face. I must have looked pretty goofy. I was yawning when a girl that looked about in her twenties came forward. She ran a hand through her straight blonde hair as she reached the table.

"Tired?"

"Nah, I'm okay." I smiled at her but it wasn't returned. Okay, then. A snobby fan, are we? I could deal with that. She leaned down on the tabletop until we were eye level.

"Glad to hear it. Where's the key?"

"Key?" I stared at her open-mouthed. Oh my God.

"Yes, dammit. The key. Where the hell is it?"

"I ... don't know what you're talking about." Shit, this was bad. Where did she come from? How did she get in?

"You missed your meeting this morning with the boss, hon. He's not pleased."

"Meeting?"

"Yes, sweetheart. At the coffee shop. And I know you got the note, so don't play dumb." She leaned even closer and grabbed my chin. "Where is the-"

"Excuse me," the guard started from behind me. I heard him coming forward. "Step out of the line please."

"Don't think this is over," she hissed, letting the guard pull her away. "It's not." She glared at me and my stomach sank. I think I was going to lose my breakfast. As the next fan came forward, I swallowed and took a deep breath.

"Wow, she was nuts, huh?" The girl who was about my age, shook her head with a grin.

"Yeah ..."

Actually I think I was the one going nuts.

Under Pressure

Chapter 4

It was watching TV that I almost found my way out. I was watching the news, don't ask me why, and they were covering the story of what happened across the street. At first I got all excited because I figured they had caught the guy, but my hopes immediately sank when the caster announced that 'Shotgun Sean' was still on the loose. What a name. It didn't comfort me any knowing it. In fact, I think I would have been better off not knowing.

My way out I figured, was when the newscaster announced that the police were looking for anyone who had any information on the suspect to please call in. I immediately scrambled off the bed and to the desk, digging through the drawers for the complimentary pad and pen that hotels usual left. I found it and was back in front of the TV in time to see the number scrolling across the screen for a second time.

1-800-38 ...

"Hey, Nick."

Dammit. I jumped at Brian's entrance and by the time I looked back at the screen, they were already onto another story. Something about cats overrunning the cities. I sighed and crumpled up the paper. A lot of good two numbers would do me.

"Hey Rok, what's up?" I tried to sound cheerful but I know he saw right through me. It was worth a try anyway. I watched silently as he sat on one of the beds and crossed his arms. Uh oh.

"Nick, c'mon. What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," I answered after a short pause. Why didn't he just quit asking already? I grabbed the controller and started flipping through the channels. He rolled his eyes.

"Man, look. I know you. I know when something's up."

"Well, think again. Nothing's up, so obviously you don't," I retorted. I regretted it the second I said it. I told you I don't think sometimes, and this was one of them. A hurt look crossed over Brian's face quickly and my stomach sank. I stopped flipping.

"Fine," he said coolly, starting to get up from the bed. I grabbed his ankle so he couldn't go anywhere. I would've grabbed his arm instead but it was hard from the floor. "Let go, Nick."

"No, I ..." I trailed off. "Frick ..."

"Stop," was all Brian said, shaking me off. "Forget I asked."

"I'm sorry." My voice broke. I didn't need Brian mad at me on top of all of this. I could be dead, but if he didn't hate me it would be okay. I think I caught him offguard, but I couldn't tell. He was still wearing that 'I-don't-care' mask across his face. I felt my eyes fill and looked away.

"Nick ..."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I can't tell you, okay?" God knew I wanted to, but I wasn't getting him involved. Or the other guys. I could take care of this myself. I just had to think it through, that's all. It was so frustrating. I threw the controller at the wall and watched the batteries pop out and scatter on the floor. I hope that wasn't broken too.

I looked at Brian and he was just staring at the controller on the floor, probably trying to figure out when he realized his best friend had become a raging lunatic. I mean, I was, wasn't I?

"What can't you tell me?" Smart question, Brian. If I couldn't tell you, I couldn't answer that. I swallowed back the lump forming in my throat and stared at him.

"I can't," I said shakily. "God ..." I wiped my sleeve across my face. "I'm sorry ..."

"Nick ..." He sat on the floor next to me and sighed. "Look, I don't know what's up, but I'm here, okay? Why can't you tell me?"

"Because," I mumbled.

"Can you tell the other guys?"

I shook my head. Damn, I think he thought I was nuts now.

"Okay, fine. That's fine." His voice was reassuring, but at the same time it only made me feel worse. You know, when you know someone's trying their best to make you feel better, but you feel bad for them because you know it's a useless effort? That's what it was like.

There was silence. I don't think he knew what to say to me. I don't think I would know what to say to me either. I looked at him and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"Maybe I'll tell you," I said finally. My voice sounded strained. I don't think I would really ever tell him, but I wanted to make him feel better. "But not now. And you couldn't tell anybody else."

He just looked at me funny. I couldn't really tell what that expression on his face meant. But he nodded. "Sure thing, Fracks."

I nodded. He was being nice so nice to me after I had pretty much told him to get lost. I didn't know if it was out of friendship or pity. I didn't want pity, but right about then I didn't care either way.

"You okay?"

After all that, and now was when he asked me if I was okay? Physically or mentally? I just nodded absently. I was nowhere near 'okay' either way. I was a nervous wreck.

"You have to stop throwing stuff," Brian started absently. He was looking at the wall where there was now a smaller dent next to the bigger dent than yesterday. They sure don't make hotel rooms the way they used to. "Okay?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"It's not my butt on the line," he replied easily. "Don't be sorry to me."

"Is it broken?" I was glad to be on another topic aside from digging into my sanity. Or rather, lack thereof.

"I don't know." I watched him lean forward and grab the pieces- the controller, the two miniature batteries, and the little sliding tray that held the batteries in place. He tossed them to me. "Check it out, bro."

Silently, I fit the little batteries in place and slid on the tray. I pointed the controller towards the TV and tried to change the channel. Nothing was happening. Uh oh. I tried again with the same results. Power button, volume, channels. Nothing worked.

"It's broke." I chucked it against the wall again and Brian smacked me.

"Stop it. That's what I'm talking about." He grabbed the pieces again and put them back in himself, putting the whole thing on top of the dresser. "It probably just has to be re-programmed or something."

"Oh. Oops."

"Yeah, oops." He shook his head at me with a smile and got up from the floor. "Let's grab the guys and go out to eat."

"I'm not hungry," I replied, but let him pull me up.

"Then I guess you'll have to force it down, huh? When was the last time you ate?"

Last time I ate? I tried to think. We had skipped lunch today because of the meet-and-greet, I had slept through breakfast, I don't remember dinner yesterday, or lunch, I had left during breakfast ... I stared at him. "Uh ..."

"That's what I thought. Come on."

-

I'll give you a hundred bucks if you couldn't guess where we ate. I'll give you a few hints. AJ keeps them in business all across the world, and their mascot is a giant clown. His name is Ronald.

I had taken one bite out of my BigMac and decided I was done. Worrying does that to your stomach. I started picking at my fries and trying to ignore the churning. Brian was watching me the whole time. I made a face at him and he started to laugh. I wonder if he had told the other guys that I had lost it. Probably.

My eyes were scanning the joint for anyone that reminded me of 'Shotgun Sean' or any hired blondes that looked out of place. Seeing none, I began to calm down after a little while and tried to eat.

"So, you like my hat?" AJ was getting opinions from everyone about the new accessory he had bought that day in the few hours we'd had free. Kevin smiled amusedly.

"I hope you got that one on discount, Jay."

"What's that supposed to mean?" AJ demanded, touching the brim of his new love. I think it was a kind of cowboy hat . It was hard to tell with all the colorful fur that adorned it.

"Nothing ..." Kevin chuckled.

"You should really donate to the salvation army," came Howie's comment. AJ's mouth opened.

"You guys have no taste," he muttered. His next look was at me and I almost choked on my soda at the expression on his face. He looked desperate for a compliment. "Nicky?"

"Well ..." I paused and tried to put it gently. "It looks like the thing was scraped of the side of the road."

"What?" The other guys laughed as AJ stared at me.

"I think you should bring it to the pound, Aje," Brian filled in a laugh. "Put it out of its misery."

"You guys think you're so funny," AJ muttered. He was laughing though. "It's a work of art."

"It's a work of something, that's for sure," Kevin answered. AJ punched him in the arm.

During that time, I noticed this girl trying to get my attention. She looked like she was in her early twenties and had long brown hair pulled up into a loose ponytail. Everytime I glanced in her direction, she would motion to me frantically. If any of the other guys would look, she'd just go back to doing whatever it was she was doing. Filling up her drink.

After about five minutes of this frantic waving everytime I turned my head, I was sick of it. I figured I'd go check it out. She looked harmless enough, and I figured I wouldn't get attacked in a public place like McDonalds, right? It was the 'have it your way' home.

"I'm gonna fill up my soda," I announced, sliding out of the booth easily. Brian pushed his cup toward me.

"Me too?"

"Sure." I took it and started away.

"Nick, right?"

The girl was at my side the second I reached the refills. I put my cup under the coke dispenser and pressed the button. "Yeah, that's me," I answered. Now what did she want? I gave her a curious look. She wasn't a fan.

"You can call me KC," she answered. "You were at the shooting right with Sean?"

I stared at her silently and moved to refill Brian's cup. I suddenly felt weak. Who the hell was she?

"Look, I'm one of the good guys, okay? Fiona gave you the key, right?"

I didn't answer. I wasn't about to get myself into anything deeper than I already was. I started putting the cap back on my cup shakily as she let out a sigh.

"Look honey, I know you're probably scared right now. I would be too." She touched my arm. "But help me out here. Then I can help you."

No one could help me. I just looked at her.

"You don't know if you can trust me, huh?" I nodded. "Okay. Fair enough, kid."

"I have to go," I spoke up. "I'm sorry."

"That's alright. I'll be in touch." With that, she turned and went out the door.

In touch? I was sick of everyone being 'in touch' with me. I just wanted to be left alone. Was that too much to ask?

I fit the cover on Brian's soda and headed back to the table.

-

Chapter 5

I was feeling better about two nights later because it was our last day at the hotel. Tomorrow morning I would be on an early flight with the guys, en route to our next location, where ever that may be. I didn't even know. As long as it was a couple hundred or thousand miles away from what had become hell. Away from Sean and the so-called KC who I hadn't heard from since the McDonald's incident.

The fact that she had even mentioned keeping in touch with me kind of had me worried. I didn't even know who she was, let alone whose side she was on. I mean, whose side was I on for God's sake? All I knew was that I had got up one morning, watched a murder without a word, and now had a damn silver key as a souvenir. It was better than Disney.

The key. I stared at it in the palm of my hand. It must be pretty important to have so many people after it. I kept my theory that it was probably for a deposit box at some bank, or something like that. I don't have a deposit box so I didn't really know what that sort of key looked like. I assumed that it would look like this one.

I glanced over at Brian, but he was sound asleep in his own bed. I envied the fact that he could sleep peacefully without flashes of violence haunting him like they did me. Not that I would wish it on anyone else, I just wanted it to leave me alone for once. I hadn't had a full night's sleep since it had happened and it was beginning to get to me.

Each night was the same. Like now. I would sit up in bed and just listen to the silence. Tonight, I pulled myself out from under the safety of my blankets and went to stand by the window. Unfortunately, our view was nothing spectacular. It was basically showing off the heating vents of the hotel. Pretty impressive. If you strained enough, you might catch a glimpse of the alley below. Across from us was some other building that had windows looking out over ours.

That was what freaked me out suddenly. Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched? Just a sensation that passes through you. I shivered and shut the curtains so that they covered the window entirely. I know I was paranoid, but like I've said, I wasn't taking any chances.

"Nick?"

Great, so now Brian was up. Super. I wasn't even being loud. If I wanted him up I would have turned on the TV or something like that. I glanced at the clock. Two a.m. If I fell asleep now I would get a total of ... four and a half hours of shut-eye. That would be good for these past few days. A record. I looked back at Brian.

"Hey, Bri."

"You're still up?"

"No, I'm asleep," I answered sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at him and he frowned.

"C'mon, man, we have to get up tomorrow." He sounded annoyed.

"No kidding," I replied. "So go back to sleep." I tell you, this no sleep routine I've been practicing lately has really affected my mood.

"Me? I've been sleeping, thanks. Can't say the same for you ..."

I shrugged. "So?" I retorted.

"So?" he repeated with a grimace. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me!" God, I hated that question. And he kept on asking it.

"Then go to sleep. We're getting up in ..." He glanced at the clock here. "Four hours." He stared at me hard. "Come on. Tell me what's going on, Nick."

"There's nothing going on! Geez ... " I glared at him.

"Then drop the act! Dammit, Nick-"

"Shut up, Brian," I interrupted. "Just forget it, okay? Forget I ever said I might tell you what was bothering me." I pushed away from the window and headed for the door. "Just go back to sleep."

"Nick, hold it." Brian sat up. I ignored him and unchained the lock. My hand rested on the handle. "You leave and I swear you'll be sorry-"

"Forget it, Brian." I slammed the door when I left for emphasis. Then I ran. He was really pissed and I didn't want to be around if he suddenly decided he wanted to catch up with me. So I took the elevator down to the lobby and decided to take a walk. Inside the hotel of course. One, I didn't want to go outside and, two, even if I did I wasn't wearing any shoes.

Okay, I admit now that taking a walk wasn't really a smart idea to do. But I guess when you haven't had much sleep you really don't think straight. At least, that was my excuse.

I had only really been downstairs for about ten or fifteen minutes and was taking a walk by the enclosed pool when someone came up from behind and grabbed me around the neck. I almost screamed but a gloved hand covered my mouth.

"So we meet again ..."

I knew it was him. I didn't even have to look, it was the voice. That voice cut like a knife into me. I started cursing myself and then praying that someone else was around.

"Do you have the key?" came the growl. I shook my head no. Even if I wanted to talk I couldn't because his hand still covered my mouth. His iron grip tightened. "Where is it? Upstairs?" I shrugged but he gave me a shake. I nodded and tried to pull away from him. I could barely move in his grip.

"Go upstairs and get it before-"

"Hey!" I was released as we both heard the voice of one of the workers of the hotel. "The pool is closed at this time. Please leave." The worker gave us both dirty looks.

"I'll be back," Sean muttered in his gravelly voice. I was caught off guard as he gave me a rough shove towards the pool before turning and stomping away toward the door. Being that we were so close to the edge and I wasn't expecting that, I fell in not so gracefully.

It was like I had dived into the Antartic, it was so cold. I reached the surface gasping for breath and was immediately being yelled at by the worker. What, he thought I wanted to jump in? What an idiot.

"Sorry," I mumbled, climbing over the edge. My teeth were chattering and I felt my eyes water. I looked around and found that Sean had conveniently left already.

"It's dumb kids like you that make all the trouble," the worker muttered. He hooked his thumbs into his belt loops. "Go before I report you."

I scrambled out of there as quick as I could and made it toward the elevator, sliding on the tiles the whole way. I didn't know if I was shaking out of fear or out of cold. Probably both. When I got to our floor and stepped off, I paused uncertainly. Where to go?

Back to Brian? Definite no.

Kevin? Definite no again. He'd pretty much kill me.

AJ and Howie were the only two left, and I figured they'd be the least amount of harm to my well-being. So I knocked and waited outside their door, leaving a puddle of dripping pool water.

"Nicky, what are you doing?" Howie was wide awake when he saw me. When I just shrugged and tried to stop crying and shivering, he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.

"Nick?" AJ sat on the edge of his bed. "What the hell happened to you?" He glanced at the clock. It was about a quarter to three.

I stood there silently as Howie disappeared in the bathroom for a second. He came back with a huge white towel and threw it at me. I wrapped it around me and tried to get warm.

"You wanna explain?" Howie asked.

"Can I stay here?"

"Yeah, sure. What happened?"

"Me and Brian had a fight," I mumbled, pulling the towel over my head. "So I left and I fell in the pool."

"You fell in the pool," AJ repeated incredulously. "You dumbass."

Thank you, AJ. I saw Howie glare at him.

"It was an accident ..."

"What did you and Rok fight about?"

I shrugged. "I don't know," I said honestly. I really didn't. "I forgot. It was stupid."

"Oh," was all Howie said. I looked at him. What the heck was that supposed to mean? Oh? Was that good or bad?

"I wanna know how you fell in the pool," AJ said with a laugh. "You're so funny, Nick." I glared at him. Yeah, right. Glad you found me amusing, AJ.

"You should change," Howie spoke up. "You're gonna get sick."

"No, I'm okay ..." Actually, I was freezing. I just shrugged at him.

"C'mon. Here." He threw me a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt, so I headed into the bathroom and shut the door. After I peeled off my wet clothes and changed, I looked into the mirror. I looked like a wreck. I combed back my wet hair with my fingers and took a shaky breath. Tomorrow, we'd be out of here and it would all go away. Things would go back to being normal. Or as close to normal as they ever got.

Yeah right. I could wish anyway. I wrinkled my nose at my reflection and went back out. AJ had pulled the comforter off of his bed and thrown me one of his pillows, so I settled on the floor in between the two beds. Maybe tonight I could sleep. Even if I did, what would that get me? Three hours of sleep?

Ah, life was cruel. I hugged my pillow and shut my eyes.

-

Chapter 6

I'll tell you now, three hours of restless sleep does not make you the most endearing person to hang out with in the morning. Far from it in fact. Especially when you are rudely awakened by someone stepping on you because they forgot you were on the floor next to their bed.

"Oops, sorry Nicky," AJ apologized quickly after he had crushed me. "I forgot you were there."

"S'okay," I muttered, rolling back onto my stomach. All I wanted to do was to sleep. Even just a few more minutes of lying there would do.

"We have to get up," AJ reminded me, nudging me with his foot. "So, move it. Do you still have to pack?"

"Yeah," I mumbled into my pillow. I heard the shower running and figured Howie was already up.

"Well, go then, man. Go back to your room."

"I don't wanna."

"Too bad, kid," AJ returned. I sent him an upset look but he just shook his head at me with a small smile. "Don't make me hurt you. C'mon."

I sat up and hit him. "I wanna sleep ..."

"Go pack, buddy. We can't be late. You can sleep on the plane, okay?" He gave me a push toward the door. "I'll see you in a few."

Out in the hall, I paused in front of Brian's and my door, hesitating before knocking. It was now or never I guess. I finally knocked, and the door swung open immediately. Brian stared at me.

"Hi, Brian," I started softly. My voice sounded as unsure as I felt.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," was his greeting as he grabbed my arm. "Got it?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, pulling away. I wasn't in the mood for being lectured right now. I wasn't even in the mood for talking. I figured he would see that and maybe calm down a little. He never stayed mad at me for long. "Sorry."

"Where'd you go?" I heard as I went over to my bag. My stuff was everywhere, as usual. Great ... I started stuffing some things back into the duffel.

"Nextdoor ..." It was amazing how you could never fit all the same stuff back in your bag once you had unpacked. I think it has something to do with the way it was originally folded ...

"Figured," Brian answered. There was a pause and I felt him watching me. "You okay?" he asked, moving a little closer.

I finally looked up at him and shrugged. He looked like I had left him hanging. I guess I did. I looked back down at my bag and sighed. "I don't know."

"Well, just take it easy." He messed up my hair and then moved toward the door. "I'm gonna go bother Kev for awhile, okay? So just get ready to go." He looked around at my stuff and laughed. "Might take ya awhile, huh?"

"Yeah ... Seeya."

I watched him leave and then looked back at my belongings. Utter chaos, kind of like my life. I pulled myself off the floor and went to shower. Maybe that would wake me up.

-

"Nicky, what's the matter with you?" Kevin hit my leg, which I had been jiggling nervously. I tried to stop. You know when you're nervous and you can't sit still? I guess I could be kind of annoying to sit next to.

"Nothin'." Actually, I didn't like flying. It scared the hell out of me. I guess I should be used to it by now, but hey. Sitting and watching the planes all taking off and landing and knowing that you'll be a passenger on one of them come a minute or two was kind of nerve wracking. But that wasn't what was bothering me.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I went back to chewing my nails and Kevin just wrapped an arm around my shoulders. At least he didn't press, unlike someone else I knew. Kev was just there. I shifted in my seat and scanned the crowd in the airport.

I swear that I saw him. That's why I was a wreck. When we were checking in at the counter I could have sworn I saw him walk by in a black coat, that ugly sneer still on his face. Then he just disappeared. Maybe I had just imagined it. This was supposed to be it. My plan was to get on that plane and leave this all behind.

That must have been all it was. I had imagined it. Everything was okay.

"You and Rok okay?" Kevin asked suddenly.

I looked at his face and frowned. "He told you?"

"No ... Told me what?" Kevin stared at me but I stayed silent. "You gonna tell me?"

"No." I wrinkled my nose and he laughed.

"You two just seemed, I don't know, distant. I was wondering if everything was okay." Great. It was Kevin, friendship counselor of the world. I just shrugged.

"We're okay."

"Well, good." He rolled his eyes with a sigh. "God, Nick, you're like a wall lately, you know that?"

I just shrugged. Yeah, I knew it. If he only knew. I pulled out from under his arm and stood up. "I'm gonna go get a drink, okay?" I wanted to get out of there before it got into the 'what's bothering you' business that always seemed to roll around. I was trying to avoid that.

"Sure, bud. Quick though."

"Yup."

I took off towards the McDonald's we had passed coming to our seats. I was putting a straw in my coke when a hand touched my arm and I heard the voice of KC. I dropped the soda in surprise and it hit the floor with a splat.

"Geez ..." I stared at her. What was it with her always finding me in Mickey D's? Maybe I shouldn't come here anymore.

"Sorry, kid. I'll buy you another," she said easily. "What's up?"

"Nothin' ..." I chewed my lower lip and picked up my now empty soda cup, tossing it in the garbage. One of the cleaners was wiping up the liquid and giving me a dirty look.

"C'mon ..." She grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the counter where she ordered me another soda. I successfully got a straw in that one with no accident. I gave her a look, hoping she'd sense my confusion at her sudden presence.

"Why are you following me?"

"For the key, sweetheart," she said matter-of-factly.

"I don't have it," I replied immediately. I saw her glare and cleared my throat. "On me, I mean."

"That's alright."

"Can't you guys just leave me alone ...?"

"Guys?" she asked. "Who else has been after you?"

"That Sean dude." Was was I even telling her anything anyway? I had no idea.

She cursed and a look crossed over her face. "Don't give it to him. Understand?"

"Why should I give it to you then?" I returned. "How come I should trust you?"

"Because I'm a good guy," she said simply, as if it was that easy. I rolled my eyes and started away but she caught my shirt. "So what flight are you on, honey?"

"I'm not telling you."

"575? Me too."

I stared at her. Damn ... That was the flight we were taking. My stomach twisted.

"What's your friend's name? The blue eyed one." I didn't answer her but she continued anyway. "Brian is it? He's pretty cute, huh?" I saw her smile. "Can you introduce me?"

"Are you a fan now, KC?"

"Looks like it."

That was it. I couldn't take her anymore. I pulled away and headed back to where the guys were sitting, not looking back. I dropped back next to Kevin in the plastic seats.

"Can I have a sip?" AJ took the cup out of my hands without waiting for an answer so I just shrugged.

Now I was more than a wreck. They were following me. It looked like my problem wasn't going to be over once we left this state. It had only just begun. What a sad realization.

KC was a mystery. She was probably on Sean's side and was trying to confuse me. Make me think I could trust her. Obviously if I had thought I saw Sean, then she was here with him. God, was he on our flight too? That would definitely make this hell.

"Nick? C'mon." Howie was tugging at me. "We're boarding."

Off we go.

Under Pressure

Chapter 7

I think I would have rather crashed then have to go through this. I must be crazy to even be saying that, but it's true. I think you would too if you had 'Shotgun Sean' sitting across from you. I have no clue how the man got the seat across from me, but he did and now I was stuck in hell.

I thought it was bad enough having to sit between Kevin and Brian. AJ and Howie were in our row too but across the aisle, and of course, Sean was in one of the seats facing our row. I don't know why they make planes like that, and now I hate it even more.

I leaned forward and dropped my head in my hands. Why me? Why couldn't things just go my way for once? Instead I had a killer sitting across from me, not to mention a stalker sitting somewhere behind me. Yes, KC got on the plane too, much to my dismay. I was hoping that maybe it was just a coincidence, but I wasn't that dumb.

"You okay?" Brian asked. I felt his hand resting on my back.

"Just tired ..."

"Then maybe you shouldn't go for midnight walks, huh?" Brian teased. I groaned. Not funny, Brian. Not the least bit.

"Midnight walks?" I heard Kevin say. He sounded interested and I just shook my head, sitting back up against the seat. Sean was still staring at me. I looked away.

The intercom made a noise as the seatbelt light popped on and the pilot told us to buckle up. We'd be taking off within a few minutes. That was my cue to try and relax and get the image of the crashing plane out of my head. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten a lot better since my first flight. Really.

I buckled my seatbelt with shaky hands and took a deep breath. Why was I so worried anyway? I was safe from Sean on the plane. They had metal detectors and stuff like that, so he couldn't have a gun. Right? I hoped. And even if he did, he wouldn't make a scene in front of all these people, would he? That would be stupid.

Sean's staring was making me really uncomfortable. You know when you have someone just stare at you nonstop and you begin to feel really self-conscious? Well, I was beyond self-conscious right now. I didn't know if I could last a few hours like this.

No one said anything during take off. I heard a baby crying in the back of the plane and sighed. Exactly how I feel, kid. In a few minutes we were high in the clouds and the announcements came back on. I looked out the window nezt to Brian for a minute, taking in the wispy clouds floating by, then looked away. It looked so peaceful.

"Hey, you boys ..."

My head jerked up at the scratchy voice. Why was he talking to us? I stared across at him for a second. Brian and Kev looked up too.

"Aren't ya'll from that group?" Sean snapped his fingers and I narrowed my eyes. Don't talk to us, man. "Backboys is it?"

"Backstreet," Brian filled in with a laugh. "Yeah, that's us." Sean managed a smile and I grimaced. It was scary. Kevin must have noticed me glaring at him because he elbowed me.

"What's the matter?"

I just shrugged at him.

"So which one's are you?" came Sean's next question. What a jerk. I listened as Brian dumbly told him our names. Great, so now he knew my name. Super, just super. Just dig my grave for me, why don't you. What do I want on my tombstone? Let me think about that.

"So what's your name?" I demanded. I admit I might have sounded a little obnoxious in the way I asked it, but Kevin didn't have to squeeze my leg so hard. That was gonna leave a bruise.

"Adam Hanley," came Sean's answer. Likely story, Sean. And what do you do for a living? Sell life insurance? "Nice to meet you, kid," he continued, sending me on of those fake smiles.

"Asshole," I muttered softly. Brian looked at me funny and Kevin just gave me one of those patented warning looks he'd perfected.

"You and me are gonna have a talk later," he said lowly. "Got me?" I just looked away. That was never good. If I didn't have a loose murderer sitting across from me so comfortable, I might have been scared.

"So you boys heading out to do a show?" Sean, or Adam as he suddenly liked to be called, was saying. Brian confirmed it and I just got mad. Here he was, getting all the information about us and where we'd be, and there was nothing I could do about it. If I objected, what would be my reason? None that I could say. Besides, Kevin was already gonna kill me, I didn't need any more strikes against me.

"We're at the Coloseum tomorrow," Brian was telling him. God, Brian, why are you suddenly so friendly with a complete and total stranger? What a time to become talkative.

"Oh yeah?" Sean was nodding. Storing the facts so he could hunt down later probably. Super. "Do you-"

"Why don't you just mind your own business?" I interrupted, cutting him off. I crossed my arms and stared at him.

"Nick, stop," Brian chided. Sean just looked amused. I meant it, you jerk. I didn't see anything funny. I felt Kevin lean closer to me.

"You're making yourself look like a jerk," he admonished softly.

"I don't care."

"You want me to make you care?" came his stiff reply.

"No." I shifted in my seat. Why couldn't he just understand?

"Then stop. If you're gonna be obnoxious, shut your mouth." He looked at me for a second. "What's with you lately?"

"Nothing ..."

"That answer's getting old," he muttered. I looked away. Brian was staring out the window and Sean was looking at some magazine. Finally. Silence. At least he took a hint.

-

The longest plane ride in the history of mankind was finally over. And surprisingly enough, I had survived. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. I had both slept and pretended to be sleeping for the remainder of the flight. I didn't need to annoy anyone else, I figured I had done my share.

The airport terminal was extremely crowded for some reason. I hated it when crowds of people swarmed and you couldn't keep track of where you were going or who you were with. That was why Sean had it easy.

"Oh, Nick ..." I heard his voice a second before he grabbed me around the middle and hauled me through the crowds of the people and toward the less crowded waiting area. I couldn't see the guys anymore. Shit.

"Get off of me!" I struggled to get away from him but to no avail. I figured it would at least cause a scene and maybe someone would come to help me. Of course, no one did. They probably thought I was just a kid fighting with his father. How sick was that.

"Stop it or we can take this outside," Sean growled, not releasing me. I tried to kick him and he punched me in the stomach. That made me stop. The blow made me sick and I felt like keeling over. Good thing I hadn't eaten for a long time. I suddenly felt weak.

"What do you want?" I moaned, wishing he'd loosen his grip. He didn't.

"The damn key, you dumbass. What do you think?" the raspy voice snarled.

"I don't have it ..." That was true, it was in my luggage, which right about now should be on the luggage thing that rotated in a circle in the baggage claim area. Sean gave me a shake.

"Give it to me." He grabbed my backpack from my shoulders and unzippered it roughly, digging through it with his hands. When he didn't find anything, he shoved it back at me. "Where is it?" he demanded.

"How should I know?" I retorted, voice shaking. Wrong answer. He punched me in the stomach again and I let out a heaving breath. Still no one came to help me. No wonder the world had so much child abuse. No one lent a hand.

"Is it in your luggage?" I was silent until he moved toward me again. I quickly nodded. "Alright, kid. Be a good boy and go get it from your luggage. Then meet me back here in ten minutes. Exactly ten minutes, understand?" I nodded again, even though I had no intentions of meeting up with him voluntarily again. "If you don't, not only am I gonna hunt you down and slit your throat, but I'm gonna kill your friends too."

"No, don't," I quickly pleaded. "They don't know anything. I didn't tell them anything."

"Doesn't matter," he growled. "Listen and follow rules then."

I just nodded and tried to pull away. He still held me tight. "Ten minutes," he repeated. "You're a second late and you'll be sorry, boy." He let me go and I ran.

Back in the crowd, I felt safer. Slightly, at least. I couldn't stop shaking and I felt sick to my stomach from the blows. Where were the guys?

I finally found them at the baggage claim and immediately grabbed on to Brian's arm, not letting go. He looked at me and grinned. "Hey, where'd you go?"

"I got lost in the crowd," I answered shakily, still taking deep breaths.

"Yeah, it's busy for some reason," Brian answered. He studied my face. "What's the matter? You okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah." He didn't seem convinced.

"Nicky, here," Kevin called, hoisting one of my bags off of the luggage belt. "C'mon, pay attention." He looked at me the same way Brian had. "You okay?" He held onto my bag for a minute. I shrugged.

"You look kinda green," AJ said, pulling one of his bags from the belt and slinging it over his shoulder. "You feeling sick?"

"I'm fine ..."

"Maybe it's just from flying," Howie filled in. "Huh, Nick?"

"Yeah, I don't know. Maybe ..." I moaned. "Can we go home?"

"We can go to the hotel, not home. Is that what you mean?"

I shrugged. I think that was the best I would ever get.

-

Chapter 8

Getting to the hotel seemed to take forever. By the time that we finally checked in and got our keys, I felt like dying. I don't know if you've ever been punched in the stomach before, but the after effects of it are not very pleasant. I was feeling pretty sick. I think it could have had something to do with not really eating too, but I don't know.

At this hotel we didn't get all separate rooms but one big suite with three bedrooms. It turned out that way sometimes, it depended on the hotel really. Brian and I always shared a room though. Right now, I didn't care where I was staying as long as it had a bed and locking doors. Those were my top priorities for that day.

The second the door was unlocked, I headed straight to one of the bedrooms, throwing down my bags and falling face down on the bed farthest from the window. Time to sleep. I didn't bother changing or pulling off my sneakers. I didn't feel like it and I was too tired.

I tried not to concentrate on the pounding in my stomach. I hoped he didn't break a rib or anything. I was kind of thinking that the pain might go away in an hour or two. Hoping.

I heard the guys in the main room moving around and discussing what to do for the rest of the day. I hoped that they realized that I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't want them to go anywhere either. Sean had threatened them too if I didn't listen, and of course I hadn't. I sighed. If they only knew about any of this. I heard someone come in the room and throw their stuff on the other bed. Brian.

"Nick, you okay?"

"Mmm-hm."

"Come on, bro."

"I'm tired," I mumbled.

"I can see that," he said with a laugh, swatting at me. I rolled ever and gazed at him tiredly. "We're thinking of going out somewhere. Any preference?"

"Here?" I tried. He shook his head.

"It's two in the afternoon. Where's my Frack?" He looked amused.

"Sleeping!"

"You slept the whole flight, buddy, c'mon ..." He sounded tired too. Tired of me probably. Next came the inevitable question. "You feel okay?"

"No," I mumbled, rolling back over to face my pillow. The coolness felt good against my face. I think I really was getting sick. Maybe it was nerves?

"I thought you were fine." He sounded sarcastic.

"I am fine," I returned. My voice was muffled into the pillow. "I just don't feel that well," I admitted softly.

"You're a goof," Brian returned, poking me in the ribs like he always did when he was teasing. I pulled away sharply in pain, but I don't think that he noticed. "I'll check and see what the guys wanna do, ok?" I just shrugged and listened to him leave.

Somehow, I was almost asleep before anyone else bothered me. I was trying to clear my mind of what had happened at the airport. Maybe it was a dream. But the throbbing in my stomach contradicted that statement rather harshly. So I tried to forget about it instead. I was almost in dreamworld when I felt a hand on my head.

"Nicky?" It was Kev. I rolled over slightly to look at him. "I ordered pizza to the room, c'mon."

"Not hungry ..." I mumbled. "I thought you were going out."

"Not right away. Lunch first. C'mon kiddo, I want you to eat."

"Not hungry," I repeated. He gave me one of his looks.

"So you said. Up, Nickster." When I didn't move, he playfully grabbed me around the middle to pick me up but I pulled away with a soft cry. I couldn't help it, it hurt so bad. Kevin immediately froze. "What's wrong with your stomach?"

"Nothing, Kev." I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the dizziness that accompianed the searing pain. I sat up but it still didn't go away. "I'll eat, okay? Happy?"

"No. What's wrong with your stomach."

"Nothing, Kevy-Kev," I said easily. "Leave me alone." He stared at me a minute and then shook his head.

"Look, baby, I don't know what is up with you lately, but you're not helping yourself or anybody else keeping this up, okay? You're only making it a hell of a lot worse." He sounded kind of annoyed. Maybe he still wasn't over the plane incident. I guess I should watch my mouth.

Maybe I should just tell him. Let it all out. I was never an open book, but I usually dished to somebody. Brian usually. He was my confidante. But this was my problem, as big as it was, and I still didn't want to get them involved. Sean would want to kill them too if they knew. I mean, sure he wanted to kill them now, but that was diffterent. That was just a threat. If he thought they knew ...

Not to mention, I'd waited this long already. The guys would more than likely be mad that I hadn't told them earlier. That would just get me in deeper with them, and it wouldn't solve anything else.

I could handle it.

"Nick?" I looked up to see Kevin looking at me worriedly. "Earth to Carter," he teased when he had my attention. "Come in?"

"Stop," I said with a small smile. He shook his head.

"You gonna tell me anything?" he asked after a pause. I shook my head and he rolled his eyes. "You guys drive me nuts, you know that?"

"We try," I returned, standing up easily. I dodged the swat Kevin aimed toward me and headed toward the kitchen. Time to act like everything was okay.

-

I was alone. I'm not sure if it was for better or for worse, but I had some peace. No one to press and try and get anything out of me. I think Kevin was going to start using violence if I didn't spill soon. They must think me crazy by now anyway. When I heard they were going out to walk the mall, I must've told them a million times to have security with them. Howie just told me I shouldn't be the one to talk. I admit that sometimes I have fun and lose our guards on purpose, but it's just a game. Depends on where we are.

I was in the middle of watching some movie when the phone rang. I nearly jumped off the couch, but took a deep breath. It's only a phone, Nick. No big deal. Should I answer it?

No. It's probably Sean. Why bother? You know he's going to scare the hell out of you.

But it could be the guys too. They'd been gone for about an hour now and might be calling to check up on me. Not picking up could become a death wish.

I finally decided to go for it. A phone couldn't hurt me, right? Right.

"Hello?"

"Hello ..." It was him. I silently cursed. I knew it. "You didn't listen like I told you to, Nickolas ... Do you know what that means?"

"Go to hell, Sean ..." I wanted to hang up but I was frozen.

"Your friends are at the mall, huh? Having a grand ol' time. Why didn't you go tag along with your big brothers? They could've protected you."

"F-"

"Instead, they're not expecting anything to happen, are they?" He cut me off. "You didn't tell them of course." He sighed. "You know, I haven't been to the mall in a long time, Nick ... Could be fun." He hung up before I could answer. The second I heard dialtone, I started sobbing.

I buried my head in the couch cushion and tried to calm down. I hadn't cried once during the whole ordeal, and now I couldn't stop.

Was he joking around? Trying to scare me? I was beyond scared, so he had succeeded in that. I sniffled and took a long shaky breath, wiping my eyes on the back of my sleeve. Either way, there was nothing I could do. I was stuck here.

What would I do without the guys? I'd never really thought about it before. I just took for granted that they'd always be there through thick and thin. That we'd never have to say goodbye. I know it was naive, but I'd rather not think of it any other way.

Within a few minutes, I had cried myself to sleep.

-

Chapter 9

I couldn't sleep anymore. I was afraid to actually. I was sick of waking up from dreams where I was being chased or the guys were being killed. They seemed so real. I woke up in a cold sweat everytime. So I turned to my friend, the television. I started to watch some Saturday Night Live reruns to pass the time. I couldn't laugh. I couldn't cry either.

After the guys had been gone for about two and half or three hours, I was starting to get worried. I was scared. What if Sean had found them at the mall and had-

I wasn't going to think about that.

I told myself to stop. God, if I could just stop thinking about it. But there was always that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that something had gone wrong. Or that something was about to go wrong. I couldn't take it anymore, I was going nuts. Crazy.

I ran my hands through my disheveled hair and took a deep breath. I held it until I got dizzy, then let it out slowly. My stomach pain hadn't gone away in an hour like I had hoped, instead when I lifted up my shirt I saw that I was going to have a bruise. Great.

I watched the TV as it advertised fake commercials of SNL's. The one playing across the screen now was for memory loss. I wish I had memory loss. Then maybe I wouldn't have the face of a dead woman lying in a pool of blood running through my head. I didn't matter if I was asleep or awake, the image was still there, accompianed by the echoing shots of the gun in my head.

I got tired of SNL and pulled myself off the couch tiredly, heading toward the kitchen. I was thirsty, and maybe some soda or something would settle my stomach. I grabbed a glass out of one of the cabinets and got some ice out of the freezer. I was pouring myself some coke from a can when someone grabbed me from behind.

"Nicky!" AJ greeted loudly as my glass slid out of my hand and hit the floor, shattering into a million little pieces. I stared at him open-mouthed. God, he'd scared the hell out of me. I didn't even hear them come in. "Damn, Nick."

"What'd you do ...?" I heard Kevin ask calmly from the doorway. I was frozen, my mind racing. What if that had been Sean and not AJ?

"I scared him," AJ spoke up, rubbing my shoulder gently. "Sorry, Frack." I just nodded absently and looked down at my hand. It was shaking. I watched the coke pool in the tiles, mixed in with the glass. It reminded me of the blood back at the coffee shop. I looked back at the guys.

"I'll clean it up ..." I started to move, but AJ caught my arm.

"Don't step, bro." I followed his gaze down to my bare feet. Oops. I was stuck. I looked at him helplessly.

"I'm sorry ..."

"Don't worry about it," Kevin interrupted, coming around the side of the tiles away from the mess. He grabbed me gently, physically lifting me up and carrying me over the liquid and shards, dropping me on the carpet. I was too shaken to even notice. "We'll get it," he said, giving me a gentle push.

"But-"

"Go sit down," came his answer. He didn't even turn to look at me, instead going to AJ's side and grabbing some paper towels to clean up. Hm. Strange.

I found Howie and Brian inside, already watching TV. I slid in close to Brian, relieved to see that all the guys were okay. I had had my doubts after Sean's call. Brian slung an arm around me and pulled me closer.

"How're you doing?"

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah ..." I said, sending him a look. "Did you have any trouble at the mall?"

"Trouble?" He laughed. "What kind of trouble?" I shrugged at him and he just shook his head. "Nope, nothing happened, right Howie?"

"Yup," Howie answered. He looked at me with a concerned expression. "Feeling better, Nicky?"

"I'm okay," I said with a shrug. "I'm tired."

"Maybe you have the flu or something? You look kinda pale."

"Maybe ..." I shrugged again. "I don't know ..."

"Well rest up for the concert tomorrow, buddy," Brian said. "Don't wanna miss that." I nodded. Try can't miss that. I was dreading tomorrow's concert to be honest. Brian had told Sean that it was at the Coloseum, and this time I think he would do more than just leave me a note. Maybe I should call the cops?

"Hey." AJ dropped down besides me and Brian, handing me a coke. "To replace," he said.

"Thank, Aje."

"No prob," he replied as Kevin sat in an armchair across from us. "So what'd you do while we were out?"

"Sleep."

"You sleep too much," he replied, giving me a smile to show he was playing. The phone rang shrilly before I could answer. Howie reached for it and picked up.

"Hello?" There was a long pause and we all watched him. "Hello ...?" he repeated. He looked at us and hung up. "Dead line."

My stomach clenched. I knew who it was. Why didn't he just leave me alone? I was tempted to throw away the key somewhere, but then he'd still be after me to find out where I threw it. There was no way to win. I almost wished that KC would tell me what the hell was going on. I was a key player in a game where I didn't know the rules. How unfair was that?

"Nick," Brian said, hitting my leg softly. At least he didn't elbow my ribs again. I found all the guys looking at me. I guess I had missed something.

"What?"

"We were wondering what you wanted to do for dinner?"

"Dinner?" I repeated. "We just ate ..."

"Like four hours ago," AJ replied. "Say you want McDonald's."

"I'm not hungry."

"You still have to come," Kevin replied, shaking his head. "Try and eat something."

I stared at him. I was not hungry. Get it through your head, Kevin. But it would be better than sitting here and getting phonecalls I guess. Anything was better than that. But I felt safe in the hotel. I didn't want to go anywhere.

"McDonald's it is," AJ announced suddenly, leaping up from the couch. "C'mon, guys."

"Jay," Kevin objected. He made a face. I guess he was sick of Mickey D's too. I'm telling you, too much of that stuff had to be bad.

But we ate there that night anyway, not surprisingly. It wasn't like there was much else around the hotel area. And just as had happened in the past few days, I caught sight of a certain someone there. And even though I thought it impossible now, things started to get even more complicated. Little did I know.

Under Pressure

Chapter 10

I read it over and over again, but nothing changed. The same message stared back at me. 'Meet me in the lobby of your hotel'. Yeah, right. Did I have a choice? I chewed on my thumbnail nervously and tried to think.

Needless to say, KC had somehow trailed us to McDonald's and while there had dropped the note in my lap when the guys weren't looking. That was it, not a word was said between us. She didn't even look at me.

That was over an hour and a half ago. So now I had two choices.

If I stayed here, nothing would change. Things wouldn't get better, but they might not get worse either. Meeting KC was a risk, but for better or for worse? I still didn't trust her, but maybe she was on my side in the matter. I didn't know whose side I was really on, only that Sean wasn't on it. The rest was a mystery.

Maybe this was it. My way out of this whole damn mess. I didn't see any other way really. Maybe if I met up with her downstairs, everything would be solved without the guys ever even knowing. They wouldn't have to know a thing. The whole past few days could be my little secret.

Right, uh huh. But I think it was that thought that convinced me to give it a try.

"Where're you going?"

I looked up as Brian popped his head in our room and paused in pulling on my sneakers. "A walk," I said, giving him a small smile from my position on the floor. I concentrated on tying one of my laces rather than on his face.

"Oh, want some company?" It was obvious that he was worried and just wanted to keep an eye on me so I shook my head, starting on my other shoe.

"No thanks."

"Okay," he said easily. "Just don't leave the hotel, Nick, alright? It's not the best neighborhood and it's getting kinda dark out there."

"Sure." I wasn't planning on going anywhere. Just the lobby. Nowhere else. I finally looked up at him. "I won't be long," I said, getting up. I grabbed my windbreaker from the dresser and pushed past him. "Later, Brian."

"Seeya, bro."

The other guys never looked up when I passed them in the main room to get to the door. Too interested in some sort of movie that was playing. Some late night special probably.

It was only when I got in the elevator that my stomach started to twist in worry again. What if I was making the wrong choice? What if that was the last time I would see the guys? I paused for a minute, then shook my head and pressed the button for the lobby. This had to work. It was the only way. I'd allow KC a little trust and then see how far that would take me.

The second I saw her, any minute hint of trust I was thinking of giving was immediately gone. I was on guard. Don't get me wrong, she seemed nice, she looked nice, but I was just ...

I was scared I guess. I don't know how else to put it. I was afraid of what might happen. I might be walking straight into the trap of a killer for all I knew. I was a novice at this stuff. I'd rather stay that way too, thank you.

"Hey, thanks for showing," was her greeting when she caught sight of me. She stood up from her seat on the couch and adjusted the brown leather jacket she wore, taking my arm. We were about the same height.

"Where're we going?" I wasn't expecting her to start leading me toward the hotel doors. I saw the foggy night outside and chewed the side of my lip apprehensively.

"We can't talk in there, kid. It's not safe." She flipped her shoulder length hair over her shoulder as she pushed through the glass doors, never letting go of my arm. She had a pretty tight grip.

"I can't ... I'm not supposed to go anywhere," I started. God, the guys were going to skin me.

"Look, hon, I'll get you back safe and sound, ok?" She rolled her eyes as we started at a fast pace down the cement sidewalk.

"But-" I cut off at her look and swallowed. Okay, I didn't have a choice there. "Why isn't it safe?"

"I think you know the answer to that," was her blunt reply. She stopped suddenly and waved down a taxi. I hesitated as it pulled in swiftly next to the curb and KC pulled the door open. "After you."

"But-"

"Get in the damn cab," was her reply. She sounded amused, much to my surprise. I just followed her directions silently, beginning to think how dumb it was of me to come to meet her in the first place. She slid in next to me and shut the door, directing the driver to some place of which I had no idea of the location or attraction.

The ride there was silent and I watched as raindrops started to hit the windows of the taxi softly. I didn't know it was supposed to rain. At least it fit my mood. I felt like crying too, but I wasn't about to start in front of this lady.

I had no idea where we were going. The signs sped by so fast that even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to remember them to find my way back.

Before I knew it, we had stopped and KC was handing the cabby some bills. She turned and grabbed onto the sleeve of my jacket, giving me a tug.

"Move it, kid."

"Where are we? I don't wanna-"

"Shut your mouth and c'mon," she interrupted. The driver must have given her a weird look because she turned to him and gave a loose smile, shaking her head. "Little brothers, what can ya do?" She turned back to me and lowered her voice slightly. "If you don't move your ass out of this car, I'm swear I'm gonna-"

I quickly scrambled out the door and to her side. God, she must take lessons from Kevin or something. She nodded at me and shut the door before I could change my mind. I watched the cab drive away forlornly. There goes my way back.

"Where are we?" I repeated, wiping my blonde hair off my forehead as it stuck there with the rain. "I have to get back."

"You'll get back," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward a brick colored building. I didn't want to go in there. Ireally didn't want to go in there.

"How 'bout now?" I asked softly. She squeezed my hand and took out a key, unlocking the door and pulling me inside. She locked it behind us and took my hand again.

"You'll get back," she repeated. We started down a dark colored hallway. It smelled damp and I couldn't really see the end of it or where we were going.

"Why'd we come here," I whined softly. She shot me a look.

"If you must know, I was trying to lose Sean," she said flatly. She flipped one of the light switches on the wall but it really didn't light up much.

"Oh."

"Oh," she repeated sarcastically. "Don't ask me any more questions tonight, alright, kid?"

"Okay ..." I said shakily.

"Good. Now, you're gonna meet someone-"

"Who?"

"You're gonna meet someone," she repeated more firmly. "And I want you to be honest with everything, ok? He might threaten you, but I won't let him touch you, so don't worry about it."

Don't worry about it? I pulled away from her and stood still, giving her a look. No way.

"Nick, he's not gonna touch you." I just stared at her. I didn't trust anyone's word right then. My heart was beating fast. "C'mon, the sooner you come, the sooner it'll be over."

The person I was meeting turned out to be a forty-something man dressed in black that was waiting in one of the rooms off of the hallway. He looked just as intimidating as Sean himself and I seriously began to doubt what I had gotten myself into at this point.

"Nick, meet Vin," she started, giving me a little push inside the room. "Vin, this is Nick."

"Nick ..." the man greeted with a smile spreading across his face. Even his eyes were dark. "So nice to finally meet you." I didin't have an answer for him so I just stared back unsurely. "You have the key?"

"No." I shook my head. His face darkened and I saw the look he shot at KC.

"Not on him, he means," KC filled in. "But he has it." She glared at me and I just shrugged. She said be honest, didn't she? I was.

"Alright, then," Vin replied seriously. "We'll have to make arrangements for you to hand it over to us then, won't we?"

"Who said I'm giving it to you?" I crossed my arms. I regretted making the comment when I saw Vin's lethal glare. But who said he was even the good guy in this? I felt KC pinch my arm as she walked over to Vin's side. There were a few minutes of hushed talking of which I was left out of.

Something told me to get out of there before things got even worse. I started inching my way toward the door and had a hand on the door frame when I heard them turn.

"Hey!"

I bolted on instinct, running down what I think was the hallway we had come in through. I couldn't be sure, but I didn't care. I would keep going until I found the stupid exit. Sure enough I soon did, and I paused there, fumbling with the lock.

"Nick," I heard KC call. She jogged down the hallway toward me and I tried to hurry, even though my fingers felt so frozen. I finally got it open and pulled through to the outside, stepping out on the sidewalk. It was pouring. Lucky for me, it hid my tears.

"Nick ..."

I started down the sidewalk. I didn't know where the hell I was going, but I didn't care.

"That wasn't smart," KC told me as she grabbed my arm. I tried to pull away.

"Let me go."

"You're going the wrong way, sweetheart," she replied. "What were you thinking in there, huh? I told you to watch it, didn't I?"

"He scared me," I said in a broken voice. "What was I supposed to do?"

She stared at me for a minute, studying my face. I wondered if she could tell I was crying. "Okay, fine. Let's get you back to the hotel. I'll explain to Vin later."

"I don't wanna see him again," I started.

"Okay, you don't have to. He's not a bad guy, you know."

"I don't care," I answered.

-

It was pretty late by the time I got back to the hotel. I was in for it. I waited outside of our door for a second, shivering and dripping wet. Wasn't this the second time this week I came back this way? Geez, what a loser was I.

I dug through my soggy pockets and, thank God, came up with a room key. Maybe the guys were all asleep and I wouldn't have to wake them up. I could just sneak in without a sound.

Or maybe not. When I opened the door I saw Kevin and Brian on the couch in front of the TV, and saw another light coming from the room AJ and Howie shared. Shit ...

Maybe they didn't see me. I held my breath and started across the carpet for my room.

"Get over here now." I hadn't even gotten halfway when I heard Kevin's voice.

I paused midstep. I could run to my room and lock the door. That could work. But I'd eventually have to face him anyway. I turned and dragged myself toward them, stopping a couple feet out of their reach.

"I-"

"Where the hell were you?!" Kevin demanded before I could finish. His voice was like a slap. I felt a lump rising in the back of my throat and wiped my eyes hastily with the back of my sleeve. He was beyond mad.

"I ... went for a walk ... "

"If that's your excuse you've got something else coming, Carter," Kevin snapped. I swallowed and felt myself moving an inch or two even further back. I glanced at Brian but he was looking at the floor. Kevin glared at me still. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kick your ass."

"I'm sorry, Kev ..." My voice broke and I felt the tears start. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't need Kevin yelling at me on top of it all. I sniffled and wiped my eyes again quickly. I couldn't talk anymore. I didn't know what to say.

"Dammit, Nick. Do you know how worried we were?" His tone was slightly less sharp, but it still made me wince. "You know the rules."

"I'm sorry," I repeated through my tears. I looked toward Brian again. "Frick ..." I moved toward him, keeping my distance from Kevin. He looked like he wanted to smack me.

"You okay, Nick? I got worried. You said you'd be right back." He didn't look mad like he did when I first came in. Instead he opened his arms and I gave him a hug. "Ugh, you're all wet," he objected with a laugh. I didn't let go of him though and he hugged me back. "You okay?"

"No," I said, sobbing harder into his shoulder. I wanted to tell them everything. I felt him rubbing my back.

"Nicky," I heard Kevin start. He didn't sound mad anymore. Maybe it was because I was crying. He didn't like to see any of us cry. "Go shower and change before you get sick."

Actually, I think I already was sick. And there was no turning back now. Brian gave me a squeeze and then pushed me away. "Go, buddy ..." I just looked at them a second before turning away and heading toward my room. Well, they hadn't killed me. That was a plus. I paused right outside my open door for a minute when I heard their hushed voices.

I couldn't make out what they were saying. Well, I wasn't about to risk my butt trying. It wasn't worth it. I was in deep enough as it was. Not to mention, I was freezing.

-

Chapter 11

I was running down the hallway as fast as I could, heart pounding. I heard gunshots echoing behind me and saw the guys running a little up ahead. I couldn't catch up, no matter how hard I tried. A door was at the end of the hall and I knew it was our only hope. I tried to run faster but my legs felt like lead.

A couple of shots rang out and I gasped as I watched the guys crumple to the carpet in front of my own eyes. Lifeless. The floor immediately turned red and I felt myself fall to my knees. I heard screaming and then realized that it was me making all the noise.

Turning my head, I saw Sean standing with a disturbing grin across his rugged face, hand still holding the gun that rested at his side.

"I told you to follow my directions," he growled. "I told you, Nick ..."

I pulled away from his gaze. "Stop, I'm sorry ... Don't kill them ..."

"I told you, Nick ... Nick ..."

I awoke with a start and felt someone's hand gripping my shoulder. Panicking, I kicked out and tried to get away. Their hold tightened as I struggled.

"Nick ..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't tell anyone, Sean, I swear! Just leave me alone ..." I felt like I was suffocating under whatever was holding me down. I had to get away.

"Nick, wake up ... It's okay, baby, it's just a dream ..."

I stopped struggling for a second and found Kevin along with AJ at my side. I stared at them, confused. They were dead, weren't they? Sean had shot them, just like he said he would if I didn't listen.

"Are you okay, Nick?" AJ questioned, giving me a strange look. "You were screaming bloody murder." His hand was resting on my shoulder gently.

I tried to catch my breath and looked away from them, not answering. I couldn't really. I didn't know. It had been so real ... I almost expected to see Sean standing behind them, laughing in my face.

"Nick?" Kevin's voice sounded far off. I pulled away and pushed off my covers, swinging my feet to the floor and standing up. My throat felt really dry suddenly. I just needed a drink.

"Where're you going?" AJ asked as I pushed pass them.

"Drink." I padded across the carpet and out of my room, not surprised when they followed me. They were probably making sure that I didn't hurt myself or something stupid like that. Figures.

I noticed when I opened the fridge that my hands were still shaking. That dream had really scared the hell out of me. I don't know why even. I knew it wasn't real, but still. It disturbed me. It seemed so real.

I jumped when I felt a tug at the back of my shirt.

"What do you want?" It was Kev. I realized I had been just standing there in front of the open fridge for awhile. Whoops. He gave me a push toward the table. "Milk, juice, what?"

"Coke," I answered. He just gave me a look.

"It's so late, buddy. You wanna sleep." Of course I do, Dad. Thanks ...

"Milk then," I answered, sitting down in a chair and resting my head on the table. I had such a headache. My head felt all stuffed up. I don't know if it was because I had just woken up or because I was getting a cold. Probably both. AJ sat down in the chair next to me and poked me in the side. Idiot.

"Here ya go." I lifted my head when Kevin slid the glass in front of me. He sat down in the chair on my other side and I swallowed uneasily. Uh oh. Can we say cornered?

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking a small sip and putting it back down. I didn't feel like milk. I looked at both of them and then just rested my head back on the table.

"Who's Sean?"

I jerked up at AJ's question, staring at him wide-eyed. "Sean? Huh?" I wondered if my voice sounded as nervous as I thought it did.

"Sean. You were saying his name before... Who is he?"

"I don't know what you're talkin' about." I glanced at Kevin, but he just looked back at me almost expectantly. He wanted answers too.

"You said 'I didn't tell anyone, Sean'," AJ continued, looking like he'd kill me if I didn't tell him. Too bad. "What'd you mean? Who is he?"

"I don't know ..." I pushed back my chair and stood up. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, starting away. I was sick of questions. Kevin caught me around the waist and pulled me back.

"Sit down. We have to talk," he said, basically pushing me back down in my chair. I didn't put up much of a fight, but I pressed my lips together and crossed my arms stubbornly.

"About what?"

"You tell me," came his reply.

"Nothing. There's nothing to talk about," I said matter-of-factly. I couldn't help the way that my voice was shaking. I knew I had to tell them sooner or later. My stomach twisted. I was almost afraid to.

"Nothing to talk about or nothing you want to talk about?" Kevin leaned back and crossed his arms.

"I ..." I trailed off and stared at the wall. Why couldn't I lie? Right then, I just couldn't. "I can't," I said slowly, looking back at them.

"So there is something," AJ concluded, almost triumphantly. I scowled. It was like a game to him. Let's see how much we can get out of Nick. Two against one. Not fair.

"I don't know." I tried to think. I could make up some stupid story that sounded worse than the truth so that when I finally told them what really happened, they wouldn't be as upset. But the more that I thought about that, the more I dismissed the idea. I couldn't think of anything worse to tell them.

"C'mon, Nick." Kevin sounded impatient and I started to get annoyed. What did he expect? Me to suddenly spill everything to him? Hells no.

"I'm sorry, ok?" I rested my head back on the table, letting my hair fall in my face. I was suddenly really tired. "I can't tell you," I mumbled. "Where's Brian?"

"You gonna tell him?" AJ asked. "Huh? Not us? Huh?"

"Shut up," I replied.

"On the couch inside," Kevin interrupted. "But he's asleep, bro, so-"

I was already out of the kitchen before he finished. I couldn't take it anymore. I figured I could tell Brian and see what he thought. I was sick of everything. I'd almost rather die then think about it. I know that's a bad attitude but it just made me so depressed even thinking about it. I headed toward the couch that was situated in front of the TV in the main room. It wasn't facing me when I came out from the kitchen, so I just jumped over the back of it, landing on top of Brian.

"Ooof," was Brian's greeting as I practically fell into his lap. I moved to his side as he sat up a little and gave me a tired, lopsided smile. "What's the matter with you?" he teased.

"A lot," I said flatly. He stopped smiling and just looked at me.

"Frack ..."

"I have to tell you something," I whispered.

"What is it?"

"Remember what I said I couldn't tell you?" He nodded and pressed his lips together. I wondered if he even wanted to hear. "I'm gonna tell you."

"Okay, buddy boy, spill."

"But you can't tell anybody unless I tell you that you can."

"Nick ..." he objected. "What if-" I shook my head to cut him off and held out my hand.

"You can't. Shake on it."

"Nick, grow up," he muttered, ignoring my hand. That offended me so I tried to get up, but he pulled me back down. Geez. "Okay, Fracky, you get your way, ok? But if you get me in trouble, you're gonna get a beating." He said this with a teasing tone as he shook my hand and I didn't even answer. He had no idea. He probably thought I was going to tell him I was homesick or something usual like that.

"Okay." I took a shaky breath. "Well ..." I paused for a long time, just thinking.

How should I tell him? Should I even tell him? I was starting to rethink things. Maybe I could handle it by myself afterall. I'd lasted this long, hadn't I? I breathed out.

"Hey. Carter, c'mon. You're gonna tell me so just let it out already."

"Okay ..." Here goes nothing. "Remember that morning when I was locked outside of our room?" I asked in a low voice. I didn't want the other guys to hear. I knew they were probably eavesdropping in the kitchen. I wouldn't put it past them, that's for sure. Both Kev and AJ could be pretty sneaky.

"How could I forget?" Brian replied with a small laugh.

"Well ..." I paused again but Brian gave me a look and I just told him the whole story, starting in the coffee shop and continuing all the way up to today. I left out the part about the dream, but by the end I was pretty much crying. When I finished, I took one look at the expression on his face and started to cry harder. He looked scared too, which made me even more scared.

"My God, Nicky. Tell me you're kidding please."

"No." I shook my head and sniffled. I wish I was kidding.

"Oh my God," Brian repeated. I wouldn't be surprised if he was praying. I chewed on my thumbnail and wiped my face with my sleeve.

"I wasn't gonna tell you," I whispered. "But ... I just couldn't ..." I trailed off and he threw an arm around me reassuringly. That made me feel a little better. Not much, but a little.

"Nick, we gotta tell Kevin," Brian continued. "He'll know what to do. He always knows what to do." Somehow, in this case, I doubted that would hold true, Brian.

"No ..."

"Nick-"

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore," I answered petulantly, sticking out my lower lip. He just shook his head at me.

"This isn't something you can run away from," he started. God, I knew that by now, that's for sure. "You can't just ignore it." Brian paused when he saw I wasn't looking at him.

"I know," I said softly. "We're not telling anybody."

"Nick." I ignored him. "Nickolas, listen to me." I looked at him. He never used my full name. None of the guys did usually. Well, he was serious. "We're telling the other guys," he stated. When I opened my mouth to object, he covered it with his hand strongly. "You don't have to tonight, but you will. If you don't, then I'm gonna." He removed his hand and I shook my head.

"I'll hate you forever. You promised."

"Don't be a baby." I glared at him and he gave my cheek a pat. "C'mon, Nick." He was trying to be funny I think, but I didn't smile.

"No." I crossed my arms. I really didn't feel well, and I think he knew because he got off the subject.

"He didn't hurt you did he? You said he came after you at the airport." He sounded worried and I just shrugged. I wasn't about to lie to him and say no. "Did he?"

"Not really."

"What'd he do?" Brian demanded. God, he always got so upset when one of us got hurt or sick. He hated to see anybody hurt or sick.

"It's not big deal," I muttered, but I pulled up my shirt to show him. I admit it was a pretty ugly bruise, but Brian looked so upset. I pulled down my shirt quickly.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was afraid," I mumbled, turning away from him. I was still afraid. I turned to lay on my side. "I don't wanna talk anymore."

"Okay." He sounded tired. "Get some sleep."

"Stay there, ok?" I was kind of afraid to be alone to be honest, but I didn't wanna say it. I would just feel a lot better if someone was next to me. I didn't want to be alone.

"Sure, buddy."

I sighed after a minute of silence. "I'm sorry," I mumbled into the couch. I really was too. I almost regretted telling him. It wasn't like he could help. At least, no more than I could already. I felt him give me a pat.

"Don't be."

-

Chapter 12

I woke up to the sun shining across the walls and the TV blaring. No one else was in the room, but I could hear the guys in the kitchen. I blinked at the sudden brightness and pushed off the covers that someone had put on me during the night. It was so hot.

I almost cursed the sun for making everything look so cheerful. You know when everything looks so happy and perfect outside, but on the inside you feel basically like crap? It's frustrating really. That's how I felt that morning. Frustrated.

After a few minutes of just sitting on the couch and staring at the wall, I figured it was time to get up and face the guys. I faintly remembered telling Brian everything that had happened, but that seemed so far away. Almost like a dream. I started to wonder if I had actually told him.

I pulled myself up of the couch tiredly. It felt like I hadn't slept in days. Which was partially true. I hadn't gotten a full night's sleep in the longest time. It was getting to me if you want to know the truth. Don't people go crazy without enough sleep? But it wasn't like I could help it or anything. It was impossible.

I passed AJ when I came into the kitchen, and he reached out to tousle my hair playfully. I think he was trying to be annoying. "Nice fro, kid," he laughed as I swatted his hand away. I knew my hair was all messed up from sleeping. It was always messed up. I didn't care. That was the least of my worries. He punched my shoulder softly.

I grabbed a seat at the table next to Brian. It didn't look like he had slept well either. I felt bad then because I knew that was my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. I could tell him now that I was only kidding. But then he'd just get mad.

"You doing okay?" he asked, looking up as I sat down.

"Yeah," I answered softly. I played with the edge of a napkin that was on the table in front of me. "You?"

"Fine." He paused and I knew what was coming. "You're gonna tell today, ok?" He looked me straight in the face but I didn't meet his eye. I wasn't about to make any promises. "You hear me?"

"Yeah." Of course I heard him. Does that mean I agreed? No, not at all. I started to shred the napkin into long thin pieces. It tore easily.

"Well, you're listening to me this time," Brian replied. I shrugged and shredded the napkin into smaller pieces. He knew me too well. "Got it?"

"No," I answered flatly. "I'm not telling anyone else."

"Then guess what," he answered in hushed voice. "If you don't, I will, and you can explain to everyone why you didn't. How's that sound?"

"No ..." That was unfair. Play nice, Brian.

"This is serious, Nick. I know you know that." He stared at me and I just gave him a long look. When I saw he wasn't going to change his mind, I pushed back my chair to get up. I was getting sick of everyone.

"Eat something," I heard Kevin say from across the table. I paused to glance at him.

"Not hungry, Kev."

"You're not going anywhere until you eat."

"I'm not hungry," I repeated. God, this was getting old.

"Then sit down," came his no-nonsense answer. Someone was getting annoyed with me, weren't they? Sometimes Kev had all the patience in the world, but other times it didn't take too much to set him off. This morning for instance. Right now, I didn't care. I just stared at him. When I opened my mouth to argue, he cut me off. "Nick, you're eating something even if we have to shove it down your damn throat, so just sit down."

"I'm not-"

"Nick, c'mon," Howie interrupted. He gave Kevin a look that I couldn't really see and then glanced back at me, shaking his head. "You make things so hard for yourself, you know that?" He took my arm and pulled me back to my chair. I didn't really put up a fight. It wasn't worth the trouble.

"Bagel?" Brian's voice had an I-told-you-so sort of expression as he held out a plate. I took it from him with a glare. Keep it up and this plate will be coming down over your head, Brian. God, why did I tell him? He only made things worse. Much worse.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" AJ asked cheerily as he plopped down in the chair next to me. I couldn't tell if he was being facetious or if he really wanted to change the subject. AJ confused me sometimes.

"I'm gonna fly home," I spoke up, rubbing in between my eyes. It felt like my head was going to explode soon. That's what I had decided- I wanted to fly home and just hang with my family for a few days. That could get my mind off of things, and maybe Sean would forget about me in the meantime. The guys all paused and looked at me.

"What?" AJ was the first to speak.

"I'm gonna fly home," I repeated slowly. "After the concert tonight."

"No, you're not," Kevin started. "Nicky, don't start this. You can't."

"No, no. I've been thinking. My brother's birthday is soon and so I have to-"

"Your brother's birthday is in December," Brian interrupted, shaking his head. Dammit, Brian. Why'd you have to go and know that? You've been ruining everything lately. I rubbed my forehead again.

"Right ..." I nodded, trying to think of something else. "I have to get him a gift and I ..." I trailed off. Think, Nick. Come on. It's not that hard. "I ..." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Nick," Howie said gently. "You can't, you know that."

"No, it's just that ..." I shot a look at Brian, but he looked away. He wanted me to tell them. "We have the day off after tonight, so I can fly down and then fly back up, and I'll be back in time so I won't miss the next stupid concert." I gave Kevin one of my pleading looks that in most cases worked, but he just shook his head.

"C'mon, you're not thinking, buddy." I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off. "N-o."

"But-"

"We have a whole three day weekend off in about two weeks, we'll all go home then, how's that?" he offered. I could tell he was trying to be nice about it but I just shook my head. I didn't think that I could really last another two weeks if you wanted to know the truth. At that point, I didn't think I could last another day.

"Forget it," Brian said. "Here," he pushed a bagel in front of me, cut in two halves and buttered. What part of 'not hungry' don't these guys understand? Geez. I looked at it and back at him with a frown.

"Eat now or else," Kevin sing-songed. I really didn't want to know what his 'or else' involved, so I picked up a half and took a huge bite. I immediately felt sick, but I forced myself to chew and swallow, trying not to make a face. If they'd let me go home, I'd do just about anything.

"What a good boy!" AJ teased with a grin, patting my head roughly, like I was a dog or something. Frankly, it pissed me off, which I guess is why I punched him in the shoulder pretty hard. I didn't expect him to hit me back though. It was a playful punch to my stomach, but the second it hit I doubled over in pain, falling out of my chair. Ow, that hurt so bad. My stomach had never felt that pain before.

The second it happened, AJ immediately started apologizing like a madman. He sounded almost scared. Like he thought he might get his ass kicked or something. I just curled up on the floor and squeezed my eyes shut. Please go away. Everything, please go away.

I felt a hand on my arm and jerked away, only making it worse. I moaned. I thought I was dying. That's what it felt like anyway. It felt like I was drowning and I couldn't breathe. I took a huge gasping breath. See, I told the guys I wasn't hungry, and this is what happens when they don't listen. They never listen.

"Nick, man, I'm sorry ... I didn't smack him hard, I swear ..." AJ kept going on and on. I kind of wished he would shut up, but in a way I was glad he was sorry.

"Nick? You okay?" I felt a hand on my lower back. I opened my eyes and took a shaky breath, trying not to cry. My eyes filled for a second, but I blinked back the tears. I wasn't going to cry. "What's a matter?"

"I don't feel too good ..." I got out. Right, Nick, like they hadn't guessed that already. It didn't take a genius to figure out that much. I moaned again. A second later I was being carried into the other room and set on the couch. I still didn't open my eyes. If I did I think I would throw up.

"I didn't hit him hard," I heard AJ say again.

"I know, Jay," Kev said easily. "Nick, what's wrong with your stomach?"

"I don't know, nothing," I answered softly, turning on my side. The pain was going away slowly. Very slowly. Too slowly. I opened my eyes slowly and found the guys looking at me worriedly. Brian was sitting on the coffee table, arms crossed. He looked almost mad. I hated being at the center of attention.

"Like hell," Kevin answered. He reached out and grabbed the bottom of my shirt as to pull it up, but I hit his hands away and pulled my knees up to my chest. That hurt more, but I didn't care. "Lemme see." I shook my head. "How 'bout I go grab two of the guards and they can help?" I shook my head harder.

"Do you wanna go to a doctor?" Howie interrupted. "You haven't been feeling well for awhile."

"I wanna go home," I whined.

"You can't run away from it, Nick," Brian said, speaking for the first time. God, Brian ...

"Run away from what?" Howie asked, frowning. I just shook my head at Brian but he glared back. The closest Brian ever got to glaring at me anyway.

"Nick'll tell you. Right, Nick?" Brian looked at me expectantly.

"Shut up, Brian."

"Nick, don't be an idiot."

"Leave me alone, Brian."

"Nick-"

"Guys," Kevin interrupted. "What the hell is going on, huh?" He stared at me. "Nick?"

"Nothing," I answered defensively. "What's your problem?"

"You," he said matter-of-factly. I stared at him, mouth slightly open. Ouch. That hurt, Kevin. I pushed away and ignored my stomach's objection as I jumped up. Not to mention the guys' objections. I couldn't hear anything as I made my way to my room and slammed the door for emphasis. Then I locked it. If you want to know the truth, I was kind of scared of the guys when they got mad sometimes. Especially Kev. I don't know why, but I was.

I felt kind of bad locking Brian out of his own room, but that's life. He could deal. For all I knew he was out there telling the guys everything I had told him. I wouldn't doubt it.

I sat on the edge of my bed and tried to think. I had to get out of there. I couldn't take it anymore. Not the guys, not the job, not being chased. I'd had enough. I just needed a short break from everything and then everything would be okay. I could handle it. Easily. No problem.

So that was it. It was decided. I stood up slowly and grabbed my backpack off the bureau, unzippering it. I had most of the stuff in there that I would want, so I just threw in a jacket with my wallet and zipped it back up. I caught sight of the key on the table and grabbed that too, stuffing it in my back pocket. Might as well keep it with me, right? I pulled on a baseball cap backwards and sank into the armchair by the window. I would wait a little while and then take off.

And everything would be just fine.

Under Pressure

Chapter 13

Silence is the worst enemy when you're lonely. Nothing really compares, at least I don't think so. It eats away at you until you feel that there's no one in the world on your side. Actually, no one was on my side, so it wasn't really a feeling. It was more like a realization.

It hit me when I got into the cab, like a tidal wave- I felt like it crashed over me. It was the sort of feeling that washed over you and then settled in the pit of your stomach, making you sick.

"You okay, kid?" The cabby's rough voice made me look up, and I realized I was silently crying. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve hastily and nodded at him in the rear view mirror. "Where to?"

"Airport."

"Which one?" His voice was friendly.

"Uh ..." I didn't know any of the airports around here. I didn't even remember what city I was in. That happens to us a lot when we're on tour. I sniffled. "Which one's closer?" He chuckled then.

"I'll take you to Central. They're both the same distance, but this one's better," he said, pulling out into the street.

"Thanks." This guy was pretty nice.

"No prob ..." He directed the cab around another car and pulled up to a stoplight. "You running away?" he asked, glancing at my backpack with a small smile. I hesitated and he shook his head. "Who'm I gonna tell?"

"I dunno ... Kind of ..." I admitted finally. "I'm taking a break." That's all it was. A break. Brian had told me that I couldn't run away from this, and I wasn't. I was just taking some time off, that's all.

"Ah ..." He nodded, as if he understood completely. "Everyone needs a break every now and then, kid, that's for sure."

"Yeah ..." I looked out the window as the cab pulled back into motion. The streets looked depressing. Everyone was rushing somewhere or another, heads ducked. Everything was grey. I couldn't look at it. I concentrated on my sneakers instead.

"Here we are ..."

I didn't even notice all the time that had passed until I heard him say that and looked up to find that we were parked in front of the airport. I grabbed my bag and pulled it over my shoulder.

"How much?" I started to pull my wallet out of my jacket as he told me the fare. It seemed less than it should be, but his look told me not to question it. "Thanks."

"Seeya, kid," he replied with a smile. I nodded and slid out of the cab.

The airport wasn't as crowded as the day before, but there were still a lot of people milling around. I went over to the counter and waited on the line to buy tickets for a flight. One for Tampa, that was it. They always say that one is the loneliest number, and now I knew it was true. I hadn't felt that way in awhile. I mean, even when I was younger and didn't have many friends at school, I always had my brother and sisters at home. And then I had the guys. Now it was just me.

I could handle it. I didn't need anyone else. I searched for my terminal and finally found it. 49A. The departure was at 3:15. I looked up at the clock on the wall and frowned. I had a long time to wait, that's for sure. So I parked myself in one of the plastic chairs and debated what to do in the meantime.

Nothing. There was absolutely nothing to do. I dropped my head in my hands and rubbed the sides of my forehead. I think I had a migraine, or the closest thing to it. I played with the strap on my bookbag absently and kicked my foot against the chair next to me. Maybe this was the wrong thing to do. I shouldn't have left.

Come on, don't think like that. I tried to convince myself that this was my only choice, but something in the back of my mind kept telling me I was in for it whether I kept going or went back to the hotel. Either way, I guess I was screwed.

I tried to think of what my mom would say when she saw me. Rather, when I called her to pick me up. At first, I figured she'd be happy. Then I realized that she knew my schedule better than I did and would know we didn't have a break coming up. So then I'd be in trouble with her, and she'd probably blame the guys, since they were the ones supposedly 'looking out' for me and all.

I didn't care though. Nothing really mattered anymore. I hadn't been attacked by anyone chasing me for the key, so I figured that was a sign that I was doing the right thing. Then, something hit me. I didn't want to bring Sean closer to my family. But then again, he didn't know where I was anyway, so it was okay. At least, that's what I hoped.

I shifted in my seat so that I could pull my legs up on the seat next to me and leaned back. God, I was tired. I watched the people walking by me for awhile, wondering where they were going. Did you ever just look at people and try to think of where they were heading to or about their past? Soon though, I could barely keep my eyes open. I shifted again and shut my eyes, trying to relax.

-

I guess I napped for about an hour, because when I opened my eyes, there were more people around and there was only about ten or fifteen minutes to flight boarding time. Most of the seats around me had been filled, so I slid my feet to the floor and sat up, pulling my hat a little lower over my eyes. Most of the time, I don't have to worry about being noticed. I don't think about it really too much. Right now, it's worse in Europe. The fans there scare me sometimes. Not them in particular, but I'm afraid of being killed or lost or something like that. It's confusing.

The flight had started to board already, small children first. I pulled out my ticket and stared at it. This was it. There was no way back once we took off. No going anywhere until we landed in Tampa. I let out a breath. What was the big deal? I was this far, right? No turning back.

They called the section before me to board and I got a little nervous. Should I go or shouldn't I? I chewed my nail nervously. Come on, Nick, decide. This is it. Decide ...

My section was called and I paused. I suddenly felt like I was running away from my problems. I didn't want to do that, but at the same time I didn't want to stay either. I looked at my ticket one more time and tore it in half. Forget it. I wasn't going to go. I listened to them do the last call for departure once more and then they shut the door.

Well, there went my chance. I didn't know if I was relieved or what. My feelings were kind of mixed right then. I was glad to be away though, that was true. I was going crazy with the guys. I wonder if Brian had told them anything yet. I really didn't even know if he would.

I was kind of depressed then, because I knew I had given up my chance to get away and I'd have to think of some place else to go. I couldn't stay here. I got up and got a soda out of one of the machines and then came back to my chair. After a couple minutes of sitting by myself, I placed my can on the floor and laid back down, pulling my feet back up. Sleep is a simple means of getting away.

-

I woke up slowly, stretching out my legs across the seat. When my foot hit something that wasn't there before, my eyes flew open and I jerked away, scrambling to sit up.

"Brian ..."

"Hey, sleepy," he returned. I stared at him, eyes wide. Uh oh, uh oh. Was he mad? I couldn't tell.

"How long have you been here?"

"Uh, 'bout twenty minutes. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh." I looked away and there was a long pause. I pulled off my hat and played with the rim so I wouldn't have to look at him. "I'm sorry," I said softly. He didn't answer for a minute.

"What were you thinking? God, Nick, sometimes I wonder ..." He shook his head. "What are we gonna do with you?"

"I'm sorry ..." I looked at him finally. "I was gonna go home."

"And?"

"I decided not to," I answered. I tossed the pieces of my ticket in his lap silently. "I just ... I dunno."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't, 'cause then you'd be in so much more trouble than you are now ..." He trailed off and took me by my arm. "C'mon, we gotta get going."

"Where?"

"We have a concert tonight, Frack. Remember?" He shook his head at me. "Good thing you didn't get on that plane, huh?" I just nodded. No kidding. Shit, then I'd be really dead. I let him pull me up and grabbed my backpack from the chair. I was caught off guard as he pulled me into a hug. "Don't make me worry like that." I just nodded.

We started toward the exit and I pulled my hat back on my head, keeping up with his fast pace. It wasn't like we were going to be late or anything. I certainly was in no rush to get back. "Brian, is everyone mad?"

"What do you think?"

I shrugged. "Yeah."

"You got it," he answered. He must have seen the look on my face because he shook his head. "Look, Nicky, what do you expect? There's nothing you can do now except face it." He was right, I guess.

"Are you mad?" I asked after a minute. He paused.

"Do I look mad?"

"I don't know. I can't tell." That's what was bothering me. That unreadable look on his face. He laughed.

"No, I ain't mad. I'm just glad you're okay. The other guys'll be happy to see you too. Bone thought it was his fault that you took off because he punched you."

"It's not his fault." I was relieved to hear he wasn't mad. There went a little less weight pressing down on me.

"Yeah, I know. You can tell him why too, when we get back."

"I'm not saying anything," I interrupted. Please not this again. Weren't we through this already?

"For God's sake, Nick. What's the deal? You told me, you can tell the guys."

"It's different, Brian ..."

"Don't give me that." When I started to argue it, he cut me off. "Look, Nick, you're in for it when we get to the venue, so don't get me against you too."

I was silent. Why didn't I get on that plane? I wouldn't be facing this then. I would be safe, on my way home. Instead, here I was heading straight to trouble.

-

Chapter 14

We didn't have any time to stop off at the hotel, so we just headed straight to the venue. I preferred it that way if you want to know the truth- it was safer. Less one on one with the guys, if you get my drift. Or so I hoped.

I figured they were all going to be pretty pissed at me. The only reason Brian wasn't was because he knew what was going on. No one else had a clue. They probably just thought it was a mood or something. I didn't know what they thought actually. I didn't care.

"We probably missed rehearsal," Brian informed me, dragging me by the arm past the guards and inside the venue. They all sort of gave me dirty looks. Sometimes I think they hated me for making their job so hard. Oh well.

"Oh." I tried to slow down, but he kept pulling me along. I wasn't in any rush to meet up with the guys, but I wasn't about to put up a fight with Brian. His grip on my arm was tight enough. "Brian, can I ..." I needed something to do so I wouldn't have to face the guys right away. " ... get a drink?"

"You don't have time. We have water backstage," came Brian's reply. Great ... He gave my arm a squeeze as we reached the pre-show area and gave me a push through the door.

"Nick!"

"Hey, Nicky ..."

"Nick, get over here."

The last voice belonged to Kev, and boy did he sound pissed. I pulled my hat lower nervously. "Hey guys..." I shied away from them all and headed toward wardrobe to get ready for the show. No one tried to stop me.

"Kevin," I heard Brian start lowly. I couldn't hear him as I moved away, but I didn't stop to listen. Thank God for Brian, that's all I can say. He's saved my butt on numerous occasions. Let's hope he could this time too. I owed him big time.

When I finished getting into our show outfit, I made my way back out. My plan was to be discreet and quiet. Maybe everyone would forget about what happened.

"Nick, c'mere." Or maybe not. I glanced over at Kevin sitting on the couch. I could pretend I didn't hear him ... But I had already turned. He hit the cushion next to him for me to sit there, so I made my way over with a unnerved feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Hey Kev," I greeted softly, plopping down next to him. I left about a foot between us.

"Hey," he replied. There was a long pause. "You, me, and the rest of the guys need to talk."

"About what?"

"Rules," he said, looking me straight in the eye. I tried to stare back evenly, but I looked away instead. He scared me. "What in hell gives you the right to take off to God knows where without telling anyone? What were you thinking?!"

"I told you I wanted to go home," I defended. I wanted to keep the conversation off of the reason why I wanted to go.

"And what did I tell you?" came his reply. "Huh?" I didn't answer and he just shook his head. "You know what I said. You have to learn to listen, dammit." He hit the side of my head really softly. "Get it through your head, ok? What is this, the second time in like three days? Going for the record?"

"Maybe," I muttered. I got a glare in return.

"I'm trying so hard not to smack you right now, Nick. Just don't. You expect me to understand what's going on with you, but if you're not gonna tell me, forget it. I'm not gonna go on playing guessing games. Don't come crying to me when everything falls apart in the end."

I stared at him, mouth slightly open. That was mean. He looked away for a second.

"Don't give me that look, Nick. It's your choice. Let's just get something straight, ok?" I nodded silently. "You are not to disappear again without telling anybody. If you do, I swear to God, you don't wanna know what I'll do." I just nodded, biting the edge of my thumbnail.

"You told me I was your problem," I mumbled. That was the one thing I couldn't get out of my head. Kevin looked at me in surprise.

"What?"

"Before I left. You told me I was your problem," I repeated a little more clearly. I shifted in my seat and stared down at my lap, waiting for him to tell me that yes, indeed I was his problem, so what? Instead, I heard him take a deep breath.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I shouldn't have said it. I was just getting frustrated with everything going on, not you. You'll never be my problem, ok?" He looked at me. "Understand?"

"Sure, Kev." I nodded automatically as we heard the opening act's closing song nearing the end. Thank God. No more time to talk. Kevin rose and grabbed my jacket to pull me up too. We joined the rest of the guys in a huddle, completing our before the show ritual prayer. As we all pulled apart to go on, AJ gave me a squeeze.

"Sorry about this morning, man. Hope I didn't hurt you."

"Nope, I'm all good."

"Yeah, well, welcome back, toughguy." I grinned a little as he messed up my hair in jest.

Usually a concert can make me forget about all my problems. I can forget about all the crap going on with my family, the tour, and the guys, and concentrate on the music. Not this time. At least, not after the first half. Looking at me, you probably wouldn't see anything wrong, or be able to think of anything that possibly could be. I don't think anybody actually realizes. I've seen the guys go on after crying their heart out backstage, but once out here it was the 'life is perfect so let's have a great show' face that took over.

I was doing fine until the last song before intermission. I'd almost forgotten anything that was bothering me. Then we hit the last verse of the song, which happened to be mine, and I made my way to the front of the stage to get a little closer to the crowd as I sang. It was all fine until through the waving and screaming girls, a darkly dressed man caught my eye. Sean. He aimed his pointer finger at me like a gun and mouthed 'pow'. I stared at him and lost my line.

I faintly heard Brian cover for me and pick up my part from where I left off, but I couldn't stop staring at Sean. How'd he get in here? It was a sold out show, how'd he get tickets in a matter of days, nevermind floor seats. Front row floor seats. Shit, shit, shit.

"Nick, you okay?"

I heard Howie's voice and realized we were already backstage, but don't ask me how I got there. I started crying. I couldn't help it. I thought I was safe in here, but obviously I wasn't. I turned my face away from him and shook my head.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I got out through my sobs. "Everything's perfect."

"Nicky, we all mess up ..." Great, Howie thought I was upset because I messed up out there. I wish that's why I was upset. I just shook my head again. "It's no big deal," he continued.

"I know." I started taking off my jacket. I was through. I wasn't going out there again. Howie gave me a look.

"Where're you goin'?"

"Home," I answered, pulling on the zipper harder. My hands were too shaky and it kept getting stuck. Damn stupid thing. I told Howie that and he just shook his head.

"C'mon, Nick. Calm down." He laid a hand on my shoulder but I shook him off. "Nicky ..."

"Shut up, D," I answered, getting my zipper halfway down before it stuck again. "Dammit!"

"Hey," Kevin started. He stepped in and grabbed me by the arm. "Stop. Take it easy," he directed. He tugged my zipper all the way back up and gave my chest a pat. "Stop crying, finish the show, and we'll talk later." For some reason, it didn't sound debatable when he said it. "Calm down."

"I am calm," I answered hotly, pulling away from him. "I'm through with this show." When he grabbed my arm again, I punched him in the stomach and started to push away. Instead, I found myself wrapped in his arms.

"Take it easy," he repeated. I struggled to pull away, but he held me tighter against his chest until I relaxed. I took a couple of deep breaths.

"Stop, Kev ..."

"Since when do you give up, huh?" His voice was low.

"I'm not giving up."

"Then what do you call it?" he asked roughly.

"You don't get it," I answered, ignoring his question. He didn't understand. He never did.

"Like I told you before, buddy, if you're not gonna talk to me, don't expect me to."

"Lemme talk to Brian." I pulled away from him as he released me with a swat.

"Yeah, go cry to Brian," he muttered. Well at least Brian listened to me, unlike some people. I gave him a shove as I moved away but he ignored me.

Brian tossed me a water bottle as I neared him. I caught it with one hand and grabbed onto his arm. "He's here," I whispered, voice shaking.

"Who's here?" He took a sip of water. "And are you alright? What happened out there?"

"He's here," I hissed. "Him, him, him." I tugged harder on his arm with each word. "Sean. With a gun. Trigger happy Sean. He came to get me ..." Okay, I know I was babbling, but I was really scared. I really didn't want to go back out there.

"Hang on, buddy. Calm down, ok?" Brian touched my arm. I just shook my head. I was sick of people telling me to calm down. Enough of that already. I was calm. I couldn't get any calmer. "Here, just sit down a sec. You feelin' alright?" I let him push me down onto the couch. "You don't look so good." He ran a hand through my damp hair.

"I'm super," I replied, twisting the cap off of my water and taking a sip. The coolness felt good. I rested the bottle against my cheek. "What are we gonna do, Brian?"

"I'll have security get rid of him." He crouched down in front of me with his hands on my knees. "They can kick him out."

"What're you gonna tell 'em?"

"I'll say he was making obscene gestures or something," Brian replied easily. "Don't worry about it anymore, ok? I'll take care of him."

"Okay." I nodded and he patted my leg.

"See, you're fine, little man. Just take it easy." He pulled me up from the couch and we joined the other guys to finish the show.

-

Chapter 15

I didn't have anymore problems that night at the venue. We went back out and continued the show, I didn't mess up anymore, and Sean had disappeared. Whether he left voluntarily or was excorted, I had no clue. As long as he was gone, I didn't care.

My main problem then was with the guys. That and I wasn't really feeling well. I was exhausted, but I didn't want to sleep. My stomach was still bothering me too.

AJ and Howie had gone out who knows where, so it was just me, Brian, and Kev in the hotel. Brian and Kevin were sitting on the couch inside watching some movie, so I decided to join them rather than be alone. I really didn't want to be alone.

There wasn't a lot of room left on the couch, but I managed to squeeze in between them comfortably. I leaned against Kevin and pulled my feet up. "What're you watchin'?"

"Lethal Weapon 2," Brian answered, starting to tie my shoelaces together nonchalantly. I was too tired to object.

"Okay."

"It's rated R though, maybe you should leave," Brian continued with a small smile. I sat up quickly and hit him in the arm.

"Funny. Haha." He hit me back on my leg softly. Before I could respond, Kevin pulled me back gently.

"Guys, just watch the movie, ok? I'm tired," he said, touching the back of my head. I think he gave up on being mad at me or something. It seemed that way. I just leaned back and kept my mouth shut.

"Hey, haven't we seen this already?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. Brian laughed at me and I heard Kevin let out a breath.

"Probably, Nicky, it's always on."

"Isn't it the one where at the end-"

"Shut up, you goof," Brian interrupted with a laugh. "I don't remember it, so shush."

"Okay, sorry." I giggled softly and let a few minutes go by before I spoke up again. "Doesn't that guy right there get-"

"Hey." Kevin covered my mouth with his hand, chuckling. "Quiet."

"Sorry," I repeated, trying to pull his hand away. He let it down after a minute.

We watched almost the rest of the movie in silence, and I was half asleep nearing the end. It was really late, and I almost wished that I had gone to bed instead. But I didn't want to be alone for a second. I was drifting off until a gunshot rang out from the TV and I jerked up with a yelp. It took me a second to realize it was only from the film.

"Shh, it was the movie," Kevin soothed. Another shot rang out and I only jumped a little. Kevin touched my back softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it just sounded real ..." I tried to stop shaking. I took a deep breath. "I'm gonna get a drink," I said, pulling up from my seat. My head felt stuffy again. I think I was getting a cold.

"You okay?" Brian asked. I nodded.

In the kitchen, I tried to relax. It was only a movie, Nick. Calm down. Now I'm the one telling myself to calm down. Great. I poured myself a glass of juice and pulled myself up on one of the counter's stools. I rested my head in my hands.

I had been thinking about what I wanted to do, and I had decided that tomorrow Brian and I should go to the cops. If we could even find a police station around here. I'm sure we could. Then it would be their problem, not just mine.

"Nicky, go to bed. It's late," I heard Kev call from the main room. He and Brian were still watching something on TV. I don't know what. I thought that the movie was over by now. I slid off of the stool and left my juice on the counter as I made my way into the main room again.

Brian's and my room looked dark and creepy from here. I wasn't going in there alone. Call me a baby, I don't care. Anything could be in there. Sean could be waiting under the bed.

"Nick. Bed. Go," Kevin said, looking up from the TV. I leaned against the couch.

"I wanna stay with you guys."

"Bed," Kevin replied, sending me a warning look. I stuck out my lower lip.

"You guys are staying up."

"C'mon, bro ..."

"Brian," I whined.

"You look exhausted," Brian answered. "Get some sleep, Fracks."

"I'm not tired," I objected. Kevin shot me a look before he got up and made his way around the couch towards me. I backed away slowly.

"C'mere, Nick." His voice had a playful tone, but I kept my distance.

"I wanna stay with you guys," I repeated, holding on to the back of the couch. Kevin shook his head.

"It's like one-thirty," he said, coming closer. I dodged out of the way, but he caught me and slung me over his shoulder easily, starting across the room.

"Stop," I objected. Now I really didn't feel well. He paused by the door to flip on a light switch, then dropped me on my bed lightly. I scrambled up, but he caught my arm.

"C'mon, Nicky. You say you're tired all day long and now you're not? I don't think so."

"I wanna stay with you guys," I objected for the hundredth time. "Puh-lease?"

"No, Nicky. G'night."

"Sure," I muttered, waiting for him to leave. He paused by the door and looked back at me.

"You so much as move from that bed, and I swear-"

"Okay, okay. 'Night." He just shook his head his head at me and reached for the light switch. "No," I objected. "Leave it on." At the look he gave me I wrinkled my nose. "Tell Brian to come."

"Sure." He disappeared through the door and a few minutes later Brian popped in.

"Hey, Nick," he greeted, pulling his shirt over his head. He tossed it on the dresser and sat on his bed. "What's up?"

"I wanna go to the cops tomorrow," I told him, rolling over on my stomach. Somehow, that hurt less than laying on my back. Brian just nodded, face passive.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You'll come with me, right?"

"Of course, Frack. But don't you think you should tell the guys too?"

"No ... I don't wanna make them worry or anything ..."

"Nicky, they're already worried." He shook his head. "They just don't know what they're worrying about."

"Well, I'll think about it," I answered stiffly. I stifled a yawn and rested my head on my pillow.

"Not tired, huh?" Brian laughed. I shook my head. "How's the stomach?"

"S'okay," I mumbled.

"We should get you checked out. Make sure you didn't break a rib or something."

"I didn't break a rib," I muttered. "It's just a bruise."

"Yeah, yeah. Still." He rubbed his eyes and leaned back. "God, I'm beat. I wonder why ... Oh, that's right- I was searching foryou all day." I sent him a hurt look.

"Shut up, Frick."

"I'm just playing with ya," Brian said with a smile. "Easy."

I just groaned. "I'm so sick of this," I moaned, burying my head in my pillow and breathing out. "I want it all over."

"Relax, baby, we'll go tomorrow and get this all sorted out. Then you can talk to the guys."

"I wanna go home," I answered. I lifted my head and looked at him. "Can I go home tomorrow?"

"I don't think so. Go to sleep, Nick."

"I can't. Everytime I shut my eyes ... I see ..." I shuddered. I see the lady lying in blood, but I didn't want to tell him that. "I can't," I repeated.

"Think of something else."

"I can't ..."

"Nicky, you have to try-"

"Can I stay up with you?" I interrupted.

"I'm going to bed too, Nicky-boy," he said slowly.

"I'll stay up with Kev then."

"I don't advise that. But I think he'll be in bed too anyway," Brian said.

"Wanna go for a walk?" I asked, totally forgetting what happened on my last little walk that I took. Brian just shook his head and got up to turn off the lights.

"Good night," he said, laying back down on his bed. I stared at the moonlight that came in through the blinds and played shadows on the wall. I couldn't sleep. It was impossible. I counted the seconds that went by. After several minutes had passed, I let out a long breath.

"Brian?" I asked softly. There was a short pause.

"What?" he sighed. "What's the matter?"

"I can't, Rok."

"Sleep?"

I nodded, then realized he couldn't see me through the dark. "Yeah."

"Nick, I don't know what to say, bud. You wanna go watch TV?" I heard him roll over.

"I don't know." I sat up and hugged my pillow. The dark was suffocating. "Can I turn on a light?"

"No," he answered lowly.

"You wanna watch TV? I don't wanna go alone."

"Sorry, Nick," he mumbled. "I'm so tired right now, I can't get up. Why don't you go wake Kev?"

"Because he'll kill me?"

"No, he won't."

"Okay." I left Brian, who probably fell back to sleep the second I stepped out the door, and nearly ran across the main room to Kev's room. I was desperate for company. The dark freaked me out. I opened Kev's door and hurried to the side of his bed.

"Kev, wake up, wake up. Kev ...!" I shook his arm as hard as I could. Kevin was a pretty deep sleeper most of the time, which was usually a good thing. Finally he woke up.

"Nick? What's wrong?" He rolled onto his side and stared at me sleepily.

"You wanna watch TV with me?"

"What?" He looked like he wanted to smack me for second. "You woke me up for that? To watch TV? You sounded like it was an emergency or something. I thought you were in bed."

"I can't sleep," I said softly, grabbing his arm and giving it a tug. "Please?"

"Why can't you sleep?" He sat up though, and ran a hand through his messy black hair.

"I can't. Brian wants to stay in bed so I came to you. Please?"

"Pal ..."

"Please?" I repeated. "I'll watch whatever you wanna watch, I don't care."

"Ugh, fine," he muttered. "Until you fall asleep."

"Okay," I agreed. Not likely though, Kevin. I had found a solution to be unable to sleep. TV, the reliever of the mind.

Under Pressure

Chapter 16

Kevin wasn't the best company. He was half asleep anyway the second he sat down on the couch, and kept looking at me like he thought I'd fall asleep soon too. I guess I proved him wrong. Nothing was on TV either, so I kept flipping. I think that was annoying him.

I finally stopped and settled on some movie that was on. A few minutes went by until the two main characters in it starting cursing each other out quite colorfully. Every other word started with 'F', including some interesting variations. Kevin hit my arm softly.

"Change that," he muttered, reaching for the controller at my side.

"Nothing's on."

"Well, find something else," he returned tiredly. Okay, Dad, whatever you say. I flipped to the next few channels, stopping on a cartoon. There really wasn't much on this time of night. Or morning rather. It was like two o'clock.

"Is this good for you?"

"Nicky ..." Kevin just shook his head at me so I shrugged and kept flipping. Next time I looked at him, he was sound asleep. Great company, I tell you. It was better than being alone though, that's for sure. I sprawled out comfortably and tried to concentrate on the unidentifiable cartoon on the screen. I debated whether it was a cat, a rodent, or a dog. It was a tough call.

I actually almost fell asleep in the next few minutes, until I heard the jingle at the door. I jerked upright and stared at it for a second. I glanced at Kev, but he was still asleep. I looked back at the door and heard the sound again, along with scraping and fumbling against the door. Shit, shit. It could be Howie and AJ, but they had a key and wouldn't be making all that noise. Right?

As the sounds continued, I scrambled up from the couch and ran to the kitchen. I slid across the tiles in my socks, grabbing one of those large frying pans from one of the cabinets. Better to be safe than sorry. Always be prepared, that's my motto. I wondered if it was bullet proof.

I made my way back out into the main room, slowly and quietly. How was I going to do this? I didn't want to get closer to the door than I already was, so I finally decided on chucking it at the door when it opened. Simple as that.

One, two, three ... Whoever it was finally got the lock open and pushed open the door. Without looking or waiting another second, I flung the frying pan and shut my eyes. Whoever it was must have ducked, because I heard it hit the wall and clatter to the tile floor. Either that or I missed.

"What the hell?!" I opened my eyes when I heard AJ's raspy voice. Uh oh ... Not good, not good. Definitely not good. He and Howie stared at me, open-mouthed. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I-"

"You damn near just killed me and D," AJ interrupted, grabbing me and giving me a hard shake. "You think this shit is funny?" He shook me again.

"No, I-"

"Shut the fu-"

"Guys, what was that noise?" Kevin's voice interrupted. He was standing now and looked wide awake. I saw Brian standing in our doorway, a confused expression on his face. The noise must have woken them up. "Aje, get off of him."

"He tried to kill me and Howie!" AJ answered, giving me another shake and pushing me up against the wall. Brian stepped in closer.

"Guys ...?"

"AJ, off of him," Kevin repeated more sharply. At least someone cared about my well-being here. AJ gave me another hard push before letting me go. "What happened?"

"He tried to kill us!" Calm down, AJ. Talk about overreacting. I missed, remember? He looked back at me. "What were youthinking?!"

"I don't know, I-" I never think, guys, remember? You know that. I leaned against the wall for support. I was scared.

"You threw a frying pan?" Kevin looked at me incredulously and my stomach dropped at his sharp tone. "What the hell, Nicky? Are you stupid? Crazy?" He must've seen the look on my face because he took a deep breath and stopped yelling for a second. "Just ... go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

"What?!" AJ exclaimed. "You're not gonna-"

"You too, Jay," Kevin cut him off. "I'm not dealing with this now. Everyone just go to bed. It's late." AJ opened his mouth, but Kevin cut him off. "AJ, stop. Don't argue with me now. I'm not gonna say it again."

AJ muttered something and kicked at the pan so that it slid across the floor, before stomping off to his room. Something told me to stay away from him for awhile. Kev looked back at me.

"Go. Move it, Carter," he warned.

He didn't need to say it twice. I made it to my room in less than a second. Brian followed me in and sat on the edge of the dresser, staring at me. "We need to talk, bro."

"I didn't mean to ... I thought it was him." I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Why was my life such utter chaos?

"Look, Nick. Forget that, it's over." He took a deep breath and looked at me. "Remember at the show tonight you thought you saw him?"

"I know I saw him," I corrected. Brian just nodded with that look on his face I couldn't read.

"Right ... The guards never saw him, Nick. And they didn't see anyone leave either," he said slowly.

"What are you trying to say?" I sat up quickly and stared at him, wide-eyed. He shook his head. "You don't believe me?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying, Frack, it's just that ..."

"You don't believe me," I repeated, voice breaking. I pulled my covers around me and laid back down, burying my head into my cool pillow and covering my head with the blankets as the tears came. I shouldn't have ever told him anything.

"That's not what I meant," Brian stressed. I felt his hand on the edge of the blanket. "Nick, don't cry man, I'm sorry."

"I'm not crying!" I objected, voice muffled into the pillow.

"You jump to conclusions," Brian muttered. "Nick, look at me."

"Go away," I answered. "Good night."

"Don't start blamin' me now," Brian continued. "I'm here for you, you know it. But you're not listening to what I have to say." I was silent. If he didn't even believe my story, then what was the point? There wasn't any.

I think Brian gave up on the conversation when he didn't get an answer. Either way, he stopped talking, and I heard him lay down. I kept the covers on my head though, it was like a shelter for me. I don't remember when I drifted off because I was so tired, but next thing I knew I was waking up.

"Mornin', Nick."

"Hey, Howie ..." I greeted softly, coming into the kitchen and sitting next to him at the table. He was the only one that I could be absolutely sure wasn't mad at me for some reason or another. "Sorry about last night."

"It's okay," he said with a laugh. "Good thing you missed, huh?"

"Yeah. I thought you were like robbers or something," I said with a small smile. He just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well, AJ couldn't find our key, so it took us awhile."

"Sorry," I repeated. I really was too. I don't know what I would have done if it had actually hit them. I couldn't even imagine. I'd feel awful.

"Don't sweat it."

"Hey, Howie ..." I played with the edge of my shirt absently, trying to appear nonchalant. It wasn't easy.

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if ..." I paused and tried to word it carefully. "What would you say if I told you I thought somebody was after me?" Howie gave me a funny look and then laughed.

"I'd say ... too much scary movies for you, boy." He stared at my suddenly serious expression with a frown. "You're just playin', right?"

"Yeah." I laughed a little to show I was joking. "I'm kidding." Howie just shook his head and got up to make coffee.

"You're nuts."

"I know." I really was too, that was the funny thing. I shook my head at Howie's offer for a cup of coffee and went back to playing with my shirt. Like I said before, I don't drink the stuff. Howie knew it too, he was just nice enough to offer I guess.

"Hey, D ... Mornin'!" AJ hopped into the kitchen with way too much energy for the morning after a late night. He shot me a look and smiled sweetly. "Hello, Chuckie." I think he was referring to that movie about the red-headed demon doll that attacked people. It wasn't funny though. I made a face.

"Coffee, Jay?" Howie was pouring himself a cup over by the counter.

"Nah, thanks, D." AJ slid in across from me at the table and steepled his fingers, resting his chin on top. "So, my boy, how much do you value your life?"

"Not much," I replied with a shrug. He frowned.

"Hey, what's the matter? I'm playing." I just shrugged again. "Look, I'm over last night, ok? Don't worry about it, I won't shave your head while your sleeping or anything like that. You're safe." He paused and stroked his goatee. "From me at least. Kev on the other hand ..."

"Hey. What's this talkin' 'bout me?" Kevin interrupted, entering the kitchen and heading straight towards the coffee maker as AJ trailed off. "Better be good, Alex." His tone was playful. The only one he was ever upset with was me I think.

"Nothing but the best, Kev," AJ replied smoothly. "Don't worry." Kevin just laughed and sat in the chair next to him. He didn't even glance at me. I don't know if that was good or bad. I couldn't tell you.

I got through the morning by being quiet and out of the way. No one forced me to eat anything, or commented on it either. They were probably getting tired of looking after me. Oh well, I didn't care.

Well, actually I did, but it was okay. My stomach was really bothering me, so it wasn't hard for me to stay out of the way. I sat by myself on the sofa and played gameboy. No one bothered me. It was perfect.

Except for my stomach. Last time I looked, it was still all bruised and swollen looking. It hurt when I pressed on it too. I kind of wondered whether it was healing, or if I pulled it even worse in the concert last night. Whichever one it was, I felt even sicker and more nauseous than the day before. I guess I was just trying to ignore it, but it wasn't working.

"Brian, let's go ..." I tugged on Brian's arm lightly, trying to pull him up from the couch. I had my mindset on getting this over with as soon as possible. Then I could just stop worrying. Brian gave me a curious look.

"Huh?" Don't tell me he forgot ... Brian just stared at me.

"Station," I reminded him in a whisper, tossing him his jacket. I already had mine on.

"Oh right," he answered finally, getting up when I gave his arm another tug. Kevin looked up from the paper he was reading as Brian pulled on his pullover jacket.

"Where're you guys headed?"

"We're uh ..." I fumbled for words. "We're gonna go play b-ball."

"There's a court down the street," Brian filled in easily, pulling me towards the door swiftly. "We'll be back for rehearsal. Four o'clock, right?" I was kind of surprised that he played along.

"Yeah." Kevin nodded slowly with a frown. "Guys, you might need a ball, huh?" He sounded suspicious. I flushed.

"Right, thanks." I paused and Brian gave me a gentle push towards our room.

"Near my bag."

I came back carrying the ball and tossed it to Brian, not looking at Kevin. "Bye ..."

"Take it easy, Nick, you haven't been feeling well," he directed. "Bri, careful, ok?"

"Sure, cuz. We'll see you guys later."

-

Chapter 17

Things didn't really go like I had planned, but then again, do they ever? I don't know why I thought that this time would be any different than all the rest. Wishful thinking I guess.

The police station was a huge brick building that looked so intimidating from the outside that I almost changed my mind about going in. I think I probably would have run back to the hotel if Brian wasn't standing there next to me. His presence was comforting.

We climbed up the steps and stepped in through the thick mahogony doors. Beige colored tile stretched out in front of us and I sucked in a breath. This was it. I felt Brian's hand on my back as we stepped up to the front desk. I let him do the talking there.

We were then seated in a pretty comfortable waiting room room with wood panelling and different framed clippings from various newspapers hanging on the wall. They talked about different arrests and/or rescues in the district for the past twenty years or so. I suddenly wished I had thought to bring my gameboy.

I rested my head on Brian's shoulder a second and breathed softly. "I'm scared," I admitted after a minute. I felt him nod.

"Me too, buddy. But it'll be over soon. Just tell them everything you know and they'll take care of the rest." I lifted my head.

"It's not that easy."

"I know, Nick. But once you tell them, it's out of your hands." He rubbed the back of my head. "So just relax." I nodded and tried to calm my nerves. I just had that feeling that something bad was going to happen.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Anytime, bro," he replied. "Anytime ... So who won the b-ball game, me or you?"

"Me," I said readily. "Of course." I knew he was trying hard to get me to calm down and think about other things.

"Eh, I don't think so ..." he answered with a grin. "No way."

"Yes way. I won."

"No, no, no." He shook his head. "I definitely won, pal." Before I could object, a tall man filled the doorway with a warm smile. A badge hung from his grey jacket proudly.

"Hi there, boys. If you'd follow me to my office?" He motioned for us to follow so Brian and I stood and stepped behind him as he started down the hallway. He led us into a small office and seated us in cushiony arm chairs. I tried to relax.

"So, I hear you have a story for us?" was his first question. I was concentrating on the thick framed pictures that were scattered on his wooden desktop. It looked like he had a son and daughter. The girl was really pretty ...

"Nick?" Brian hit my leg to get my attention back.

"Yeah, story." I looked up at the police officer and he smiled at me reassuringly. "Right ..."

"Do you mind if I tape the conversation?" he asked suddenly. He placed a small grey tape recorder on the desk as if he'd forgotten to earlier.

"Um, no go ahead." I shrugged. What did I care?

"Okay, just start from the beginning and tell me everything you know-" Before he could finish, the phone on his desk rung shrilly. He smiled apologetically. "Sorry, boys. One second," he said, holding up a finger as he picked up the reciever. "Hello?" There was a second long pause. "Sure, I'll be right there. Right, bye," he said, hanging up. He looked back at us. "I just have to attend to one thing, boys. I'll be back in a second, alright? Just stay here."

"Sure," Brian answered. "No problem." I just nodded and drummed my fingers on the desk in the silence. Everything was going to be just fine. Just keep repeating that, Nick. Just fine.

"Nick, I'm gonna run and get a drink, ok? I'm dying of thirst."

"Frick ..." I didn't want to be in that office alone. What if the police guy came back before Brian did?

"I'll just be a sec, man. I saw a soda machine down the hall." He patted my shoulder as he got up.

Okay, it's not so bad being alone. He'll be back soon. I kicked the desk in front of me softly. Don't be such a baby, Nick. You can be alone for a minute, can't you? I played with the zipper on my jacket nervously. I got up and walked around the office and then sat back down. About a minute passed and I started to get worried.

I heard a step at the door and turned my head. "Bri- oh my God." I leapt out of my chair at the sight of Sean, who frowned at me and stepped closer. Where did he come from? How did he find me? I moved back behind the chairs.

"Nick, this wasn't in our agreement," he growled. I winced at his scratchy voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I-" How'd he get in here? Of all places, I thought I'd at least be safe here. I gripped the back of the chair that stood between us and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "I didn't tell them anything yet."

"Yet," he repeated. "That's not what I want to hear. Let's have a talk." He stepped towards me and I spun the other way. I could get away from him if he wasn't blocking the whole doorway. He was a big guy though. He was like Kevin's size.

"I'll leave," I cried, voice shaking. I tried not to sound nervous. "I swear." Where was Brian? Where was the cop for God's sake? Great time to disappear, guys.

"I can't trust you, kid," came his reply as he grabbed my arm. I tried to slide my sleeve out of my jacket to escape, but he had me in a choke hold before I could even twist away. I could hardly breathe, nevermind move. He started pulling me towards the door. "You make one sound and I'll beat you and slit your throat, got it?" I just nodded and squeezed my eyes shut.

When I opened my eyes, I found we were outside against the side of the building. Where'd all the people go? The street was suddenly empty, no cars, no people. Sean shoved me against the brick wall and held me there with his forearm.

"Who have you told?" he demanded.

"No one," I sputtered, wincing as he shook me and my head knocked against the brick. God, that hurt. I bit my lip.

"Bull. Where's the key?"

"At the hotel," I whimpered.

"How come you never seem to have it, huh? You lyin' to me?" he hissed.

"No."

"You haven't been cooperating," he continued. "What happened to our meeting at the airport, huh? What did I tell you would happen if you didn't listen?"

"Don't hurt them- I didn't tell them anything!" I pleaded. If he hurt one of the guys I would die. It was all my fault.

"Does that matter? I told you what would happen, but you still didn't listen, did you?" His raspy voice echoed in my pounding skull. I felt really dizzy.

"I didn't tell anybody," I cried.

"Shut up," he snarled, punching me in the stomach. I keeled over at the hard blow. Not again. His grip on me loosened and I slid down the wall to the ground. I rolled to my side and moaned. God, I felt so sick. "Don't make me tell you again. Next time I see you, I want the key, understand?" At my silence, he kicked me in the ribs and I cried out. "Understand, Nick?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I didn't tell anybody ..."

I must've blacked out then, because next thing I knew, Brian was calling my name and shaking my arm. I moaned and opened my eyes slowly, finding myself still lying on the pavement. My head felt like it was on fire. "Brian?" My face felt all wet.

"Nicky, are you okay? What happened, buddy? Oh my God ..." I think Brian was more upset than I was. I just moaned again and I felt his hand rest on the small of my back. "Baby, God, what happened?" I grabbed his arm. "C'mon, can you stand?" He had me under the arms and tried to help me up, but I was too dizzy, so I just sat with my back against the wall. My stomach and side felt like a firecracker explosion.

"Brian, my head hurts ..." I reached up to touch the side of my head and came away with blood. I stared at it in shock for a minute. Then I started to cry.

"Nicky ... Sh, it's ok ..."

"It was him, Brian. It was Sean," I got out. "He's gonna kill me." I shook his arm. "What are we gonna do, Brian?"

"Easy, Frack," he soothed, hugging me softly. "Just take it easy. It'll be okay."

"I know." I nodded and tried to stop crying. I wiped my eyes with my jacket sleeve and sniffled. "Everything's fine," I stated. Brian just shook his head at me.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up. Then we'll talk." He grabbed me under the arms and pulled me up off the ground easily.

"My stomach hurts," I said softly as we made our way around to the front of the building. Every move I made sent a sharp stabbing pain running down my side. Brian stopped walking and faced me.

"I think we should get you to the hospital," he started again. "Because you may have br-"

"No," I interrupted. "No hospital. I'm fine, Brian, really. I just need to catch my breath." I made a show of taking a deep breath and giving him a grin. He didn't smile.

"You're not fine, and the sooner you realize it, the better off we'll be." He shook his head. "You wanna talk to the cop now? He disappeared, but we can look for him ..." He trailed off as I shook my head. I regretted the movement as it sent my head spinning. "No?"

"No."

"Now's not the time to be difficult," he said chidingly. "Let's go back to the hotel."

"Let's not."

"Nick ..."

"Brian ..." I returned. He sent me an impatient look, but shook his head. Brian had a hard time getting mad at me sometimes. That's why I loved him. "What time is it?"

"Three-thirty," he answered, looking at his watch. "Rehearsal's at four. You're not gonna be dancing."

"Ten to one management will make me," I answered. Management was really obnoxious sometimes. They didn't care if you broke your leg or what, you'd still have to go on and dance. Brian frowned at me.

"Nick, I don't care what the hell management says. You're not gonna be dancing. And if they don't listen to me, they'll listen to Kevin." That's for sure. Kevin could scare the shit out of people.

"No one has to know I'm hurt though..." I started softly, watching as Brian flagged down a taxi. If they did, they'd start asking questions that I couldn't answer. Brian spun around and I gripped his arm tightly when I almost lost my balance. The world was suddenly spinning a little too fast.

"Are you kidding? Good luck, Nicky. You can't hide this sort of thing. I think you should tell the guys."

"Frick ..."

"Look, Nick. I'm not gonna tell them against your will, ok? I won't do that. So it's up to you whether you wanna be a baby and keep it all to yourself, or try and fix things. Your choice." He stepped away from me as a taxi pulled up to the curb.

I guess he was right. But I had to think. If my head would just stop spinning, I could concentrate on my jumbled thoughts. I got in the taxi after him and shut the door, not looking at the brick building as we pulled away.

-

Chapter 18

It wasn't long before we pulled up to the front of the hotel and I began thinking of excuses not to go up to the room. What might sway Brian ...? Nothing really, when he had something on his mind. I gripped his arm as we walked swiftly to the elevators, whether for security or for balance against my dizzy head I don't know. Both probably.

"Hey, Bri, we never checked out the pool, huh?" I tried, giving his arm a small tug.

"Nope, and we're not gonna right now either," he answered with a small smile. He pressed the number for the floor and I glanced around.

"There's an arcade too! Check it out ..."

He didn't even look this time. The elevator let out a ding as the metal doors slid open smoothly. I just followed him on, leaning against the wall for support. My head really hurt. I reached up and felt a bump in the back. What was I going to tell the guys?

The trip up was in silence, as was the longer than usual walk to our door. Brian fished through his pockets for the key, then looked at me when he found it. "You ready?"

I just shrugged at him. He gave my shoulder a pat as he unlocked the door. No one looked up as we came in, so I just made a beeline for the bathroom, mumbling something to Brian about taking a shower. As I shut the door I heard Kevin ask Brian where his basketball went. I guess we left it at the station. Who knew.

I locked the door behind me quickly and looked in the mirror at my reflection. It scared me. I looked scared. And I was. My eyes looked kind of red from crying. I went to the sink and splashed my face with cold water, trying to wash away the cut on the side of my forehead. It was a pretty bad scrape, probably from my meet-and-greet with Mr. Brick Wall. Luckily my longish hair covered it pretty well though, if I didn't brush it back. I would have to remember that.

Hiding it didn't make the pain go away though. I had a pretty nasty bump on the back of my head, but I figured it would go away soon enough. I'd just have to try and deal with the dizziness for a few days. No problem. Leaning over the sink put stress on my stomach, so I stood upright and pulled my shirt over my head.

Oh boy. Was that bad? I touched my ribs tenderly and winced. Hm ... Do doctors usually wrap hurt ribs? With what? And how? My whole side was red and kind of swollen from where he kicked me. It was starting to bruise already. Great. Another dizzy spell came over me, so I sat on the edge of the tub and rested my head in my hands.

I guess a long time went by while I was just sitting there, because a knock came at the door and I heard AJ politely asking me what the hell I was doing with myself in there.

"Nothing, go 'way," I answered. AJ has a weird sense of humor sometimes. I turned the shower handle so that he would hear the water and know I was showering. And hopefully go away. I think he did because he didn't say anything else. I made the water hot and steamy and took a long shower.

-

"Nick, c'mere, bro ..."

I paused at Kev's voice and made my way into the main room slowly. Might as well listen I guess. I had finished showering and changed into a pair of Adidas warm-up pants and a huge sweatshirt. I don't know whose sweatshirt it was actually. It was one of the ones I had borrowed it from one of the guys a long time ago and never given it back. Judging by the size it was probably Kev's. Watch as he recognizes it and demands it back on the spot.

"Hey, Kev, what's up?" I sat down across from him in an armchair, pulling my knees up to my chest. I felt protected that way. I rested my chin on my knees as I looked at him.

"Not much, you?"

"Nothin' ..."

"How was b-ball?"

"Okay."

"You lost the ball?"

"Uh-huh." I just nodded. "We were attacked by a mob of gangsters, so Brian threw the ball at them and we ran." Kevin just raised an eyebrow so I gave him a cheeky grin. "Something like that."

"Oh really."

"Yeah, it was pretty messy." I held up my balled fists in a fighting gesture and he just chuckled.

"You're nuts, little man."

"Yeah, I know." Not thinking, I pushed back the hair that was starting to fall in my face. I silently cursed when I saw the look that Kev got on his face.

"What happened to you?!"

"Nothing," I said quickly. He got up and started towards me. "Nothing, Kev."

"I wanna know what happened," he said sharply. "No one touches you. What happened?"

"Nothing," I repeated, hitting his hand away as he pushed back my hair to look. "Stop."

"What happened?" he demanded. I should know by now not to mess with that voice. "Tell me."

"The mob I told you about," I said, annoyed. Why did Kev have to be so damn protective all of the time?

"I'm not kidding, Nick."

"Neither am I." I paused. "Well, if you wanna know the truth, Frick beat me up." He obviously didn't find that amusing in the slightest bit, so I shook my head. "Just kidding."

"Brian!" Kevin hollered. "Get in here!" Great, now he wanted Brian's side of the story. And unfortunately, Brian didn't like to lie. Especially to Kev. I should count myself lucky he even played along before.

"Kev," I started, hitting his arm. "Nothing happened." He didn't pay any attention to me though. Brian hopped into the room a second later, frowning when he saw the two of us.

"You told him?" was his first question

"Told me what?" Kevin's eyes were immediately on me. I wished I could disappear.

"I don't know ..." I mumbled, hiding my face in my knees. I didn't need this right now. We had rehearsal in an hour.

"Oh ..." Brian sounded lost.

"How'd he get hurt?" I heard Kevin ask. Don't tell him, Rok. Don't say anything.

"Did you see his stomach?" Dammit, Brian. What's your problem? He hadn't even seen the latest addition of bruises to my side, nevermind my stomach. I felt like crying. I was feeling kind of ... woozy.

"No," came Kevin's slow answer. "You wanna tell me something, Nick?"

"No," I muttered into my arms. I glanced up as someone pulled my arms away from my knees. "Stop it, Brian."

"Show 'im, Nick. I'm not playing along anymore."

"You promised ..." I cried. "I'll hate you forever." I knew I was being a baby, but right then I didn't care. He had promised me he wouldn't tell anybody, and now he was. He lied. I told him that and he shook his head.

"This is more serious than that and you know it." I looked at him with a frown, then at Kevin. He was probably confused. I didn't care.

"Nick, come on." Kevin sounded pretty serious.

"It's not your business."

"You're my business," Kevin answered sharply. I looked away, hugging my knees. I didn't feel so hot.

"I don't feel so good," I said after a minute. I let go of my knees and leaned back. My head was getting heavy and I was seeing spots. Maybe I had some rare disease? Yeah, something called 'stress'. You'd think the guys would understand. "I'm gonna get a drink," I told them, starting to get up. Brian pushed me back down gently.

"Tell." I just stared at him. The room was getting really hot suddenly. I didn't even notice Kevin reaching for the edge of my sweatshirt until I felt his hand. I pushed him away, but that didn't stop him.

"I'm gonna look even if I have to hold you down, so you might as well cooperate," was what he said. I made a face. Kevin would, too. "You were hurt since two days ago, weren't you?" I just shrugged. He was probably thinking of when I pulled away when he touched my stomach. I wouldn't let him look then either.

"Enough," Brian muttered, reaching out and yanking up my sweatshirt. When I saw the shocked look on their faces, my eyes filled with tears and I pulled it back down. God, it hurt. It was even worse than when Brian saw it last, which was probably why he looked so surprised. Kevin's shock soon turned to anger, but not at me.

"Who the hell did this to you?" he demanded. "No one lays a hand on you ..." I never heard him so pissed before. I just started crying. What a mess. "Jesus, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I was scared," I whispered. "I told Brian." I didn't miss the glare he shot at Brian when I said that. "I'm scared, Kev."

"It's okay." He sure didn't sound like it was okay though. "Who did this to you?" I didn't answer, I just cried harder, hiding my head in the armrest. I was tired of crying but I couldn't help it. I didn't even want to tell him the whole story.

"Nick, it's okay, man." Brian was still trying to reassure me. I think we were a little beyond that. I was at least. Nothing could reassure me now. "Relax ..."

"I feel like shit," was my only answer.

"Hey. Watch your mouth." I rolled my eyes. We could all be dying and Kevin would still be telling me to watch my mouth.

"Nick, just tell him the whole story," Brian encouraged.

"Okay, fine. Kev, we didn't play basketball today. I'm sorry," I mumbled, pulling away from them and off the couch. I headed toward the kitchen, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. I felt really dizzy. When was the last time I ate? I don't remember. I needed soda.

"Nick, whassa matter?" AJ was sitting at the table on the phone. He told whoever it was to hang for a second and looked me up and down. "You alright, man?"

"No." Why was the kitchen spinning, AJ? He gave me a funny look.

"Yeah, I'll call you back, ok?" he said into the phone. "Right. Love you too." He hung up and jumped up from the table. "Whassup with you? You been drinking again?" He said this last part in a teasing tone. I never drank. I never even touched the stuff except for one time when AJ made me drink some in Europe. I was like fourteen and it made me sick. I still don't forgive him for that.

"No," I returned, letting him lead me to a chair and make me sit. "I just don't feel so good."

"Oh. You want a soda?"

"Yeah." I watched him go to the fridge and grab a can of Coke. He even went to the trouble of pouring it into a glass for me. What a guy. "Thanks, Jay."

"No prob. You getting a cold or something?"

"I think so."

"You gonna get through tonight?"

"Yeah." I shrugged at him.

"Good man," he said with a laugh. He slid the glass in front of me and sat down across the table. "Well, you look sick." Thanks, Dr. AJ. I just shrugged.

"Everything's bad," I told him. "I wanna go home. You wanna come with me?"

"Just drink your soda."

"We'll just catch a flight tonight, after the show." If I make it through the show. That might not be a possibility.

"I think we've been through this, haven't we?" AJ asked absently. I just shrugged. "Drink your soda."

"Okay." I took a sip and stopped talking. I probably wasn't really making any sense anyway. I wasn't really thinking too straight.

"Good, just relax. It'll be okay. You'll feel better after the show, kid."

"Okay." I was ready to agree with whatever he said right then.

"Okay then," he said with a small smile. "Just drink your soda." I took another sip and rested my head on my arms on the table. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.

Under Pressure

Chapter 19

I only got about five minutes of shut-eye before someone started shaking my arm to get me awake. Not cool. All I wanted was to sleep. I opened my eyes and lifted my head slowly. Everything was all achy.

"Rehearsal time, Nick," Brian said softly. "C'mon. You don't have to do anything, but we-"

"No, that's okay. I'm good," I said, getting up quickly. Note to self- don't get up fast when you have a headache. Causes dizziness. I gave Brian a lopsided grin.

"You sure?" He was giving me this dubious look, but I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I told you I just needed to rest a little. Now I'm fine." Whatever, Nick. I was suddenly really tired, as if all those sleepless nights were catching up to me. I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Uh-huh ..."

"Sorry if Kev's mad at you now," I said quickly, turning the topic off of me. "Since you didn't tell him." Brian just shrugged.

"Hey, you know Kev," he said with a short laugh.

"Yeah ... Well, thanks. For not telling."

"Hey, no prob. It's your choice, not mine." Brian said this with a hinting tone, as if he wanted me to agree to tell. No way. Like I said before, this whole problem was my fault, so I could solve it myself. It was all because I left that hotel. I was stupid. If I had never woken up that morning ...

"Guys?" Kevin poked his head in the kitchen. "We're late, c'mon."

-

I was poking around the band's equipment on our break for fun when I heard the loud crash. It was followed by a short yell coming from the upper part of the stage. I dropped the drumstick I was holding and ran to the edge of the stage, Howie was straight behind me.

"Shit!" I heard Kevin yell. Uh oh, what the hell just happened? Howie jumped up on the stage and pulled me up behind him easily. We followed Kev's voice up to the top, finding him and Brian in a sweat.

"What hap ..." Howie trailed off as we got a little closer. It was pretty obvious. For our show we have these five platforms at the top of the stage behind the pyros that we use for our intro. You have to be careful around them because you never know when you'll step on one and it'll just fall below the stage. Which was exactly what happened.

"AJ, man, you okay?" Brian yelled down.

"Yeah, I think so," came the muttered reply. "Damn ..."

Shit. I bet Sean did it. I bet he messed around with all of our stuff so that me and the guys would get hurt during the show or something. Killed. I wouldn't be surprised. Suddenly I was really scared. If he messed around with our stuff ... who knew what would happen.

I watched as Kevin sat on the edge of what was now an open hole in the stage and jumped down. It wasn't really a big fall when you were expecting it. Maybe six feet? I don't know. You could land on your feet.

"Brian ..."

"Yeah, Nick?" He looked up at me and wiped his forehead with the end of his shirt. "What?"

"Do you think ... I mean, it was probably ... It was ... Do you think it could have been ... him?"

"Say what?" He stared at me. I guess I didn't get that across too clearly. I discarded what I said.

"It was sabotaged," I hissed softly. Brian just sent me an annoyed look.

"Enough, Nick. Really."

"I'm serious. He told me-"

"Nick, stop. Don't even talk about it, ok?" Don't talk about it? Don't talk? What was this? After all the 'Nick. you have to tell everything' stuff he'd going through for the last few days? Okay, fine. Good for me.

"Jay, are you okay?" Howie was asking. I looked up and saw AJ coming up the stairs with Kev. He looked fine except for the way that he was cradling his arm. I bit my lip. This was all my fault.

"I'm fine," AJ was saying. He was trying to convince Kevin obviously. "Don't worry about me, geez."

"I'm sorry, AJ," I said quickly. He gave a weird look.

"Sorry? Why?"

"It's all my fault," I mumbled. I don't think he heard me but he shook his head with a thin smile.

"Unless you played with the platforms- which I know you didn't- don't be sorry."

I just shrugged and chewed my thumbnail anxiously. What was I supposed to say?

"I'll go get some of tech to check 'em out," Brian spoke up, jogging down the steps and toward some of the workers checking the lighting. Everything was still getting set up for tonight.

"Can you move your hand?" Kevin was asking. AJ was nodding impatiently, but didn't even try to when Kev told him to show that he could. "AJ ..."

"It's not broken," AJ muttered. "Okay?"

"Let's just get it checked out. We have time."

"Off to the ER we go," AJ said with a roll of his eyes. "Nick, wanna come?" He looked at me, raising his eyebrows. I just shrugged. "C'mon ..." he wheedled.

"Alright, sure." Couldn't hurt.

-

I was wrong. It could hurt. The ER wasn't too busy for some reason, so AJ was brought into one of the examining rooms almost right away. I just sat next next to Kevin in a folding chair, watching AJ get his arm wrapped. AJ was making the doctor really nervous for some reason. He was saying all this stuff to the guy, I couldn't hear what, but you could tell the man was getting all flustered and uneasy. It was pretty funny.

It turned out his arm wasn't broken or anything, but just badly sprained. So he was pretty much done after getting it all wrapped or whatever. Then the doctor gave the little speech about taking it easy, blah, blah, blah. I know AJ wasn't listening. When he stepped over to us, Kevin touched his shoulder.

"What were you saying to the guy, huh?" he asked. AJ grinned.

"I was asking him about his sex life," he said with a loud laugh. "I think it made him uneasy."

"You think?" Kevin answered sarcastically. "You're too much."

"I know." AJ grinned even wider.

I was hoping we could get out of there soon, but then Kevin came up with his stupid idea to get me checked out while we were there. I stared at him.

"What? No."

"Nick, you're gonna anyway, so you might as well get it over with now, don't you think?"

"No."

"It's not exactly an option," he started. I shook my head.

"Yeah it is. I say no."

"What happened?" AJ interrupted. "How come I don't know about anything?"

"Because there's nothing to know about," I said evenly. "That's why."

"No really. What happened?" he pressed. I shook my head.

"Nothing," I repeated. Kevin opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "No, let's just go." If he wasn't blocking the whole doorway I would have taken off a couple of minutes ago. "We need to get back."

"We have time," AJ spoke up. I think he was really curious now. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I shouldn't have even come with them. I should have stayed with D and Brian.

"Why don't you want to tell me?" Kevin started. "You told Brian, right?" Because Brian's my best friend. Duh. I just looked at him with a frown and sat back down in the folding chair.

"Because I want it to just go away." There. I crossed my arms across my chest and let out a breath. "I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore," I said, looking down at my shoes. "If you really wanna know. I don't care." I didn't either. I think I was beginning to realize that there was no way I could get out of this mess by myself. It was impossible. I learned that the hard way.

"Then spill it, little man," AJ teased with a rough laugh. "It can't be that bad." I just stared at him. He had no idea. I shifted my foot.

"It's bad."

"Alright." AJ shrugged.

"It's not my fault though," I started. "I mean, it is, but ... You can't get mad at me. Ok?" Kevin seemed amused at that, I don't know why. I really didn't see anything funny though. I looked at him seriously. "Promise?"

"Promise," he repeated.

"Alright." I took a deep breath and moved in my seat. Here goes nothing.

-

Chapter 20

I was proud of myself. I didn't break down once relaying the whole story to them. I think I was getting used to the whole ordeal or I was just too tired to even care. A little of both probably.

"And you didn't tell us?!"

"You promised you wouldn't get mad at me ... " I answered to Kevin's sudden outburst. I knew he'd get mad. He always did. He seemed to back off a little when I reminded him but started pacing the room. Back and forth ...

"I'm not mad at you. Why didn't you tell us?" he asked softly, running a hand through his hair. He looked tired. I concentrated on my sneaker, not looking up. My shoelace was untied.

"Because I thought it would go away," I mumbled. I glanced at AJ, who was quiet. It takes a lot to get AJ to be quiet. He looked kind of surprised at the whole thing really.

"I thought you were making it up," he said after a minute. I shook my head. I wish I had made it up. I wished I could turn back time. Just a couple days, that's all. I heard Kevin curse under his breath and looked at him. He was looking at his watch.

"We have to get going. Let's get you fixed up." He gave the examining table a swat for me to sit up there. "I'll go get the doctor again."

"But-"

"No buts. C'mon." He hit the table again and disappeared out the door. I just sat there until AJ touched my arm.

"I'd listen. He's not happy."

"This isn't my fault."

"Obviously, man, but that doesn't make it go away," he replied. I just shrugged.

Kev returned with the doctor less than a minute later, so I hopped up on the table like they said to. The doctor made his way over brightly. "Hello, young man! And how are we today!" I rolled my eyes at his chipper tone. What a phony. He instructed me to pull off my shirt. When he got a view of my side, he whistled. "And how did that happen?"

I was silent.

"Hm?" the doctor pressed.

"His family's abusive," AJ filled in. Kevin smacked him, wiping the smile off of his face.

"We have to report things like that, son," the doctor said seriously, turning to me. "Is that true?"

"No!"

"Alright. How did it happen?" I ignored the question as he started to feel along my ribs. Why are doctor's hands always cold? No matter what. You must need bad circulation to become a physician or something. I've never met one with warm hands, that's for sure. I jerked away suddenly. "Does that hurt?" No genius. It felt great.

"Yeah." His fingers immediately probed that spot, so I moved away and gave him an evil glare. It didn't stop him. "Look, stop. Just wrap me up or whatever so we can get out of here. We have places to be, you know."

He stared at me a minute before shaking his head. Why was he smiling? "I'll be right back, son."

"You're obnoxious," Kevin said when the doctor was out of the room. "Very."

"Sorry." He just shook his head. He didn't look pleased.

It took about fifteen minutes to wrap my ribs. Too tightly if you ask me. I felt better before, but I wasn't about to say anything. I just wanted to get out of there. I've never wanted to get out of a place so bad. When he was done with that, I pulled my shirt back over my head and slid off the table to the floor, ready to go.

"Now, son. Take it easy. I'm serious. Those ribs need to mend." He looked at Kevin and AJ. "Make sure he doesn't do any strenuous activity." What were they, my keepers? I rolled my eyes. The doctor looked back at me. "Alright, son?" God, I hated when people called me 'son'. I couldn't stand it. I tried not to glare at him too much. I mean, he was trying to be nice, wasn't he? I just nodded.

Done. Finally.

"You guys want something to eat?" Kevin asked when we piled into his truck. I shook my head and AJ nodded. "I thought we should pick up something for the guys too."

"Fast food?" AJ suggested.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a pizza or something," Kevin answered. "How's that sound? Nick?"

"Fine." If I said no, he'd just take it out on me, so I figured I'd just play along. "Sounds good."

-

Later on at the arena, after I actually managed to down a slice of pizza, I was coming back to the stage area through a hall when I ran into KC. I should know by now not to be off by myself when I have people after me. Common sense, right?

"Nick," she hissed, grabbing my arm. I was completely caught off guard when I heard her voice, and debated running for a second. Where did she come from? We have so much security around the arenas that we can't even sneak out if we wanted to. Believe me, I've tried. It's impossible. Don't ask me how she could get in without being spotted.

"What do you want?" I was afraid she was going to drag me back to see what's his face again. Vin.

"Not so loud," she muttered, pulling me a little to the side of the hallway. "How're you doing?"

I stared at her for a second in surprise. "Fine," I said sarcastically. "And you?"

"C'mere." She rolled her eyes and opened a door, which turned out to be some empty office. She pushed me inside and shut the door. "Take a seat."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna tell you a story," she answered with a smile. I just raised my eyebrows. A story? I looked at her and to the door, debating what to do. I heard KC sigh and looked back at her. "Just sit down, kid. I just thought you'd wanna know a little more about what you got into."

Well, it's about time. I nodded and pulled myself up on the desk at the front of the room. "Okay. I'm all ears."

She smiled and nodded, pulling up a chair. "Alright. Well I don't know how much you saw that day, but-"

"I saw everything," I mumbled, rubbing my face. I didn't want to start thinking about that again.

"Okay," she said gently. "You saw everything. Well ... Fiona is- was my sister." I stared at her, frowning.

"I'm sorry."

"Anyway," she continued quickly, her gaze never wavering. "Sean was Fiona's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend at the time. Fiona inheritated a lot of money from my father, and we never thought Sean knew about it, but I guess he found out somehow. He was crazy to begin with. Fiona didn't know about his background or else she never would have gone with him. When he heard about the money ...I don't know, it must've gone to his head. I don't know much about him." She paused and shook her head when she saw my face. I must have looked shocked. "I think that's all you need to know."

"What's the key for?"

"A safety deposit box, at the bank. That's why Sean wants it."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say so I just stared at the floor. The information made a little more sense, but it made me even more wary. If Sean would kill someone that close to him, I didn't want to know what he could do to me. And if what she said was true, I had had no problem handing the key over to her. But that probably wouldn't get Sean off my back.

"And I wanted to warn you that Sean will probably be here tonight. So just be careful. Okay?" I nodded. She was turning out to be pretty nice after all. I still didn't trust her completely, but she was nice.

"Thanks."

"Right, kid. I've gotta run, but I'll be in touch." Before I could move, she was out the door and around the corner. I slid off the desk and headed to the door, running a hand through my hair. I was getting sick of this whole thing. I felt like I was in some stupid movie, only I didn't know the ending of the script yet.

"Nicky!"

I spun around at Brian's voice. "Hey ..."

"C'mon, we've been lookin' for you. Gotta get back."

"I'm comin'." I looked up and down the hallway to catch sight of KC, but she was gone. Vanished. I shrugged and caught up with Brian.

-

Chapter 21

I put all I could into the concert, don't ask me why, and I knew I was going to regret it later. It's just something about being on the stage that gets you high I guess. Like I said before, it makes you forget about your problems. It was my release.

When we came off stage, I headed straight for the couch and stretched out there, falling asleep. I don't know how long I slept, but it only felt like a minute had passed until someone was shaking my shoulder gently. I covered my head with one of the pillows from the couch and rolled over.

"Nick, c'mon. Time to get going." Go away, Kevin.

"I'm sleeping," I mumbled back.

"You can sleep at the hotel. C'mon, baby. I'm too tired to mess around." The pillow was pulled out of my hands and off of my head. I groaned and sat up slowly. Anyone else dizzy? Anyone?

"I'm coming." In a minute though. I sat there looking at him for a second until he just pulled me up. I wasn't really thinking. I was in that half asleep state where I was barely functioning. I didn't feel like going anywhere. Kevin pushed me gently to the door. Before I knew it we were on the bus.

The one thing I kept thinking was where Sean was. Hadn't KC warned me that he was going to be at the venue? I hadn't seen him anywhere. Which was a relief obviously, but nonetheless I was kind of confused. Maybe he wasn't coming after all. But then why would KC have warned me?

I figured it wasn't worth worrying over. I mean, I should be counting myself lucky that he didn't show up. We had a good show. That's all that mattered.

When we got to the room, my only thought was if I was going to make it to my bed before I fell asleep. The guys had a different idea. As usual.

"I think we need to talk," Kevin started, catching my arm before I could take off.

"Sleep," I objected. "Sleep now, talk later."

"This is important. I know you're tired, buddy. Just a couple minutes." Ugh. I hate group meetings. Maybe it was because whenever we had one it meant that something was wrong. I grabbed a seat on the couch next to Brian and tried not to doze off.

I was only half listening as Kevin told us not to go anywhere without security, to be careful, that we were going to the cops with this tomorrow. I think we all knew how serious it was, he didn't really need to fill us in. I'm sure there was some much more important thing he was getting through too, but I was too tired to try and think about it.

"Nick? You listening?" I felt Brian pat my cheek. "Nick?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Listening, yup."

"Okay, he's too tired. C'mon, go to bed," Kevin said. I would if I could move, Kevin, really. I guess I lost my chance before. I didn't move and so Kevin lifted me up, carrying me across the main room to my bed. I was too tired to object.

"Sorry, Kev," I said tiredly. He dropped me on my bed and pulled off my sneakers, tossing them to the floor.

"Don't be. This isn't your fault." I didn't answer and I heard him move toward the door. "Go to sleep."

I didn't have any objections.

-

I woke up some time in the morning because the sun was shining in through the window and blinding me. I rolled over and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up. My whole body ached. Not just my ribs, everything. My head was still sore too.

I got up to splash water on my face and downed about five Tylenol's. Extra strength too, think those'll help? The bottle said not to exceed six in 24 hours, so I figured it was safe. I could even take one more if I needed it. I decided to see what the five would do for me first.

I showered, got dressed, and was doing pretty fine until I opened my duffel bag from last night. I hadn't opened it after the concert until now, and waiting for me was a small white envelope. Damn, not again. I sat on my bed and tore it open. Two tickets fell out and a piece of paper.

Nick, Meet me at Houston's. It's a restaurant on Grange Avenue where we can talk about our plans. The tickets are for the bus- I wrote you directions on the bottom. I gave you two in case you feel like bringing a friend. -KC

Oh boy. Here we go again. I looked at the tickets and grimaced. I didn't really want to go, but I didn't want to go to the cops either. This seemed to be the safest way of the two, judging by what happened last time. And Brian could come! If I could convince him at least. I pocketed the tickets and the directions, heading out into the main room.

"Hey, Nicky."

"Where's Brian?"

"Fine, don't say hi back," AJ muttered with a small smile. He went back to watching TV. "I don't care." I rolled my eyes and boxed his head when I passed him. He grabbed my wrist.

"Hi, AJ," I greeted finally, trying to pull my hand away.

"Hi," he said twisting my arm. "What's up?"

"Not much. Let go."

"Not much? Something's gotta be up."

"Nope. Let go. Where's Rok?"

"He left."

"No, really. Where is he? It's important." I pulled my arm away but he didn't let go.

"On the balcony. What's important?"

"Nothing. Where'd your cast thing go on your arm?" I asked, changing the subject. My arm was starting to hurt.

"I got rid of it. I didn't like it."

"You're supposed to wear it you know."

"Oh well. Too bad." He rolled his eyes. "What's important, huh?"

"Nothing." I wrenched my wrist out of his grip and hit his head again before I headed to the balcony. He didn't even move. He'd probably get me back later.

"Brian, c'mere," I said, opening the sliding door a little. Him, Kevin, and Howie were out there.

"Mornin', Nicky," Howie greeted.

"Hey, Howie. Brian, c'mere."

"What is it?"

"Just c'mere. I need your help with something." Kevin was giving me a funny look.

"What is it?" Brian repeated. I reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside and to our room. "Nick, what's so important?"

"You have to hear me out, okay? And don't tell anybody?"

"This sounds familiar ... I swear, Nick-"

"No, please? Please? C'mon." He relented and I pulled the papers out the pocket of my jeans. I showed him the note and then the two tickets, explaining a little. "Will you come with me?"

"No! You're not going, kiddo. Are you crazy?"

"Brian, you don't understand! This is it. It's safe. I trust her."

"You should trust me. Do I have to spell it out for you? N-O. No. No way, Nick." I grabbed his arm as he turned away. "Nick, stop. Sit down." I sat. "Listen to me very carefully. You're not going anywhere." I stared at him and blew my hair out of my face.

"Bri ... "

"Stop. I don't wanna hear it. You're not leaving. Don't fight on this, Nick."

I took a deep breath and looked at him steadily. "I'm going, ok? I'm gonna fix this whole thing. You don't have to come even. I just thought ..." I trailed off.

"You're definitely not going alone," he said. I raised an eyebrow.

"But, you said-"

"I know what I said. Forget it." He paused for a minute and I could see him thinking things over. "I'll trust you on this, little man. You better pray that it turns out the way you think it will or you're gonna regret ever talking to me." I grinned.

"Thank you, Brian!"

"Kevin's gonna kick my ass," he muttered.

"Thank you, thank you. C'mon, let's go."

"Get shoes on. Let me make up some dumb story about where we're going to tell the guys."

"Leave a note instead. Kev won't let us leave if we talk to him."

"A note?"

"Yeah, I'll write it so it's my fault." I jumped up and grabbed a pad and pencil from the desk. I scribbled out some note saying that me and Brian went out and we'll be back later, so don't worry about us. And PS don't get mad. I showed Brian when I was done.

"You really need to work on your handwriting," he said with a laugh, struggling to make it out. "But that's fine. I can't believe I'm letting you do this. If you get hurt ..."

"I'm not gonna. C'mon." I pulled on my sneakers as Brian tossed me my jacket. He grabbed his too.

"Where're you going?" AJ asked. He never looked up from the TV as we passed behind him to get to the door. What an idiot. He must be tired too.

"Vending machines," Brian answered. "We'll be back." Brian was a really bad liar. Really bad. I was probably even worse, so I shouldn't talk, but he really was. AJ bought it though.

"Alright, bring me back something."

"Okay, sure," Brian said. "Seeya, Jays. Be good."

And we were out.

Under Pressure

Chapter 22

I was really nervous. Very, extremely. My fingers were crossed that this might finally be the end of the nightmare, and that nothing would go wrong. I was glad Brian was with me but I was even more worried because if something did go wrong, then he was in it too. It wasn't just me anymore.

I leaned my forehead against the cool window on the bus and watched the sunny scenery run by. Everything was sunny. The people looked sunny, even the cars looked sunny. It was too happy for me. It made me even more worried. I couldn't turn back now though. What would Brian think?

"Nick?"

"Yeah?" I turned my head from the window and caught his gaze.

"Are you looking at the directions? You know where to go?" His voice was easy-going. I looked down at the paper crumpled in my hand. Directions. Right. Where were we going?

"Here," I said, holding them out to him. "You wanna figure it out?" He rolled his eyes, but took them from me and started reading the signs. Good thing he was here or I'd probably get lost. We'll still probably get lost, but now it wouldn't be entirely my fault. And I wouldn't be alone.

I went back to looking out the window. Brian and I didn't talk for the whole rest of the trip, which must've been about a half an hour. I wondered if AJ would come to the conclusion that we hadn't been on a snack run. Who knows. I shut my eyes for a second and felt Brian's hand on my shoulder as the bus pulled slowly to a stop, breaks screeching.

"This is our stop," Brian said softly. "C'mon."

I pulled myself up from my seat and followed him through the aisle to the door. It was one of those city buses that had all the seats facing the aisle and the poles to hold onto at the top. We got out of the door in the middle of the bus and looked at the signs as it pulled away again.

"We have to walk a little," Brian said, looking up from the piece of paper and at the signs around him. "I don't know how far ... a couple blocks I think."

"Okay. Let's just remember where we are now ..." I looked around at the bus stop and hoped that we'd be able to find it again once we left it.

"You wanna take a taxi back instead?" Brian offered suddenly. We had started down the street, trying to follow the signs. It was pretty hot out.

"I don't have any money."

"I'll take care of it."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, Brian." God, and I was glad just for him coming. He just nodded absently.

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this," he muttered after a minute. I just smiled softly.

The restaurant that KC had named was actually a few blocks down, but we found it without too much trouble. It seemed like a bar/grill sort of place. The minute we walked in the door, KC waved us over to a table. She actually smiled.

"Hey guys," she greeted lightly. "What's up?" We just shrugged and sat down across from her. I saw her look at Brian, a smile playing on her lips. "You must be Brian. I'm KC."

"Hey," he greeted. "So what're the plans to get ol' Nicky outta trouble, huh?"

"We'll get to that. You guys want anything to eat or drink?" She waved a waiter over. "What do ya want?" We both got cokes and the waiter disappeared. KC looked back at us and I noticed she was dressed really darkly. She was even wearing sunglasses, even though the lighting in the restaurant was pretty dim to begin with. "Did anyone follow you?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Follow?" I glanced over my shoulder towards the door. "I don't know. Did he?" I looked back at her and caught her rolling her eyes. "What?"

"You're just not careful." She looked at Brian. "Did you see anyone?" He shrugged.

"I'm new at this stuff."

"Yeah, both of you. Do you have the key with you by any chance?" Her voice got lower. I shook my head. "Okay, that's fine. Fine." She paused as the waiter brought our drinks and slid them in front of us. He left after putting the check on the table. "Here's my plan. The cops know that Sean's the one they're after. So what we'll do is make an appointment for us to meet at the bank, you give me the key, I get the safety deposit box. I'll make sure Sean knows this is happening, and I'll send a hint to the cops that their suspect might show up at the bank. How's that sound?"

"Too easy," Brian muttered. KC glanced at him.

"Well that's it. Simple as it sounds, that's what's going to work. Nick?"

"Okay." I shrugged. Sounded like it would be good for me. I glanced at Brian and gave him a questioning look. I wanted to make sure he thought it would be okay too. "Rok?"

"Yeah, Nicky. We'll go for it," he said with a sigh. He looked back at KC. "If this doesn't work and get this kid out of this mess, I swear-"

"Relax, honey. I've got it all covered," KC interrupted. How could she be so sure of herself? "Until then, take care of yourself. Kid, be careful, ok?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Alright, boys. It's been fun but I gotta go. The cokes are on me." She grabbed the check and slid out of her seat. "I'll get in touch about when and where the bank will be." With that, she turned and went to the counter to pay the bill. After that she disappeared out the door. I looked over at Brian, who was sipping his soda.

"She's nice, huh?"

"You better hope what she said works," was all he said. "Because if it doesn't, Nick, we're screwed."

"It'll work. It has to." I was starting to relax. Things were going to work out. Finally.

"Well let's get back to the hotel before Kevin and the guys can think of any more ways to kill us than they already have, huh?" He pushed his soda away and grabbed my arm, pulling me up. I hadn't even touched my soda but I didn't argue with him. It wasn't worth it.

"Brian ..." My voice caught in my throat and I froze as we stepped through the door and onto the street outside. Brian turned at my words and frowned, touching my arm.

"What's the matter?" I heard him ask. I just stared straight ahead and swallowed. "What is it ...?" He trailed off and followed my gaze to the side of the street. It was Sean and KC. He had her pressed to the side of the building and was holding something to her side. A gun? The street was somehow empty except for the four of us.

"We're not involved," Brian said shakily. His hand tightened on my arm. "We're not. Let's go."

"Brian ..."

"We're not," he hissed, voice still shaky. "C'mon." He started dragging me in the other direction, even though we didn't even have to go that way. I started shaking my head. If anything happened to KC, then there went my way out. That was it. She was the one helping me get out of this nightmare.

There was a shot, and I jerked around in the direction. Brian turned too, never letting go of my arm. I glanced at his face and it was sheet white. KC was still standing and Sean was still standing. He must've fired into the wall. Sean caught sight of us and starting yelling. At the same time, KC looked up.

"Go," she mouthed. "Get away."

We didn't even think twice before we ran as fast as we could in the other direction, around the block. There was another gunshot behind us, but we didn't turn once.

-

Chapter 23

By the time Brian and I stopped running, I had no idea where we were. I leaned against the building and gasped for breath. My whole chest hurt. I looked at Brian, who was breathing heavy too. I let my back slide down the wall and sat down on the cement. My head was kind of dizzy.

"Where are we?" I had to stop in between in word to catch my breath.

"I don't know ..."

"How're we getting back?"

"I don't know ..." Brian came and crouched down next to me, leaning against the wall. "You okay?"

"I think so ... You?"

"Pretty much." He squinted at the sky and shook his head. "This is too much, Nicky. We gotta get out of this." He stood up and grabbed my wrist, pulling me up. "Let's find a taxi."

It took us almost an hour to find a taxi because we had no idea where we were and there were absoutely no cars around. All I kept thinking was that we were going to be dead when we got back. I just knew it. We finally got a taxi when we got into the more populated parts of the town, and got in for the half hour trip back to the hotel. To doom.

I think we were both exhausted by the time we got to the hotel and up to our room. Brian took out his key and paused before sliding it in the door handle. "Be calm," he whispered. The second we set foot in the door, the guys were on us.

"Where the hell were you?" Kevin was the first to explode at us, not surprisingly. I silently said a prayer and wondered what my family would say at my funeral. I couldn't think of anything good.

"You take that long on a snack run and come back with nothing?" AJ asked, crossing his arms. I could tell he was pissed that we had lied to him. Or that he had believed us.

"You guys okay?" Leave it to Howie to actually care. We could be lying on the floor dead and Kevin would still probably chew out our carcasses.

"Look, we can explain," Brian started. I glanced at him, wondering how he was even going to try.

"Save it, Littrell," came Kevin's reply. "I can't even trust you two anymore, can I? I thought we agreed not to go anywhere without a guard? Without telling anyone?"

We told each other, does that count? Somehow I doubted it.

"Look, it's not a big deal, everything's fine," I started. I got glares in return and shut my mouth. Okay, don't try and listen to me. Then I won't listen to you either.

"Everything's not fine," AJ was saying. "And the sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be." I tried to ignore him, which was pretty easy with my aching head. Should the floor be spinning like that?

"Nick, you okay?" Brian asked suddenly. I looked at him and nodded.

"Yeah. " But what was that ringing noise in my head. "I think."

"You think?" Kevin rolled his eyes. "Go sit down, I can still yell at you from here." He must've seen the look on my face because he just chuckled. "I'm kidding. Go sit."

Okay ... No objections here. I went to the couch and laid down flat, burying my face in the cushions. Within a minute I was fast asleep.

-

When I woke up, it was srill sometime in the afternoon. The room was bright from the light streaming in from the window, and I squinted against the glare. I sat up a little and rubbed my eyes.

"Hey, Nick."

"Hey, 'D," I answered softly. "What's up?"

"Not much. How're you feelin'? We were getting worried."

"I'm fine," I answered, lookng up as Brian came into the room with Kev. "Just my head."

"Maybe you should take a couple Tylenol or something," Brian offered, sitting down across from me in a chair.

"But you can't have more than six in a day," I answered absently.

"So? How many have you had today?"

"Five."

"Five?" Kevin repeated incredulously. "At once?" I nodded. "Jesus, Nick."

"It's not over the limit," I defended. He just ran a hand through his hair, exasperated.

"You really don't think sometimes, do you?"

"Thanks a lot," I answered hotly.

"Guys, come on," Howie interrupted. "Don't fight now."

"We're not fighting," I told him. It's everyday conversation. He just rolled his eyes.

"Nick, we called the station back and got in touch with the cop," Brian started. "And he wants to talk to you again-"

"I'm not going back to that station," I interrupted. "You can't make me."

"You don't have to," he answered. "He's coming here."

"What?!" I stared at them. "When?"

"In about an hour."

I groaned. This was going to ruin everything. I just wouldn't tell them anything, that's all. Then I'd go through with the plans from KC and everything would be alright. If KC was still okay. Forget the cops.

"I'm not telling them anything."

"Oh, yes you are," came Kevin's response. "If you don't, I'll kill you."

"Well, then I guess I won't have to worry about this whole thing anymore, will I?"

"Guys, stop it," Howie interrupted again. "God."

"Nick, come on, bro. You gotta tell them everything."

"Why? It's not gonna help anything. I know how I'm gonna solve this and it doesn't include cops."

"Oh really. Care to share?" Howie asked. I shook my head and crossed my arms. It was a secret.

"Well the cop'll be here in less then an hour, so get your story straight," Kevin said, getting up from the couch and heading to the kitchen.

Maybe I could just make up something to tell them. I tried to think of something creative.

-

Chapter 24

The guy was a nerd. I had never seen such a stereotypical nerd before. I didn't think they existed until I saw the guy walk through the door.

"Are you kidding me," I muttered to Kevin, watching the so-called 'detective' make his way into our room. Kevin just gave me one of his 'you screw this up and I will kill you slowly and painfully' looks. He would too, but I figured I had more things to worry about than that. So I just gave a sweet smile and knew by his look that he didn't trust it for a second.

"Nick, this is Detective ... Wallace," Howie said as he led the guy into where I was sitting. When the nerd wasn't looking, AJ crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. I giggled softly as Kevin went to grab AJ.

"Hi, Nick, nice to meet you," Wallace greeted, pushing his glasses up on his nose. I took in the suspenders and striped shirt, the high pants and the ... was that a pocket protector?

"I don't remember you," I said. "I didn't talk to you before." I glanced at Brian, who was sitting next to me. This wasn't the guy we had talked to, was it? I know my memory's not that bad.

"No you didn't," he said. "I was sent by Sergeant Peters, who you spoke to before. He had some business to attend to." I didn't know whether or not that was true, I had never gotten the other guy's name to begin with.

"Oh."

"Can I take a seat?"

"Go ahead," Kevin filled in when I was silent. Wallace the nerd took a seat across from me in the armchair.

"Alright, if you would start from the beginning please," the man said, taking out a pad of paper and a pen from his pocket. So that was a pocket protector. Hm ... So where were we. The beginning?

"Well, I was born in upstate New York," I told him. "And-"

"Don't be funny," Kevin interrupted with a murderous glare. Oh. I looked at Wallace, who smiled thinly at me, ballpoint pen poised above the paper. His ready stance obviously.

"Oh." I didn't trust this guy.

"Start from the day it happened," he said. I cleared my throat.

"Well, it was a dark Wednesday morning and I was walking down the street when all of a sudden, these bright lights came out of the sky. When I looked up I saw this giant spaceship above me. There was this little grey alien waving and-"

"Excuse us," Kevin said suddenly, grabbing my arm and wrenching me off the couch. He dragged me toward the kitchen, grip never loosening.

"Kev," I started.

"What did I tell you before, Nick?" He didn't even let me answer. "What the hell are you doing, huh? What are you thinking?"

"Kevin, it's-"

"This is serious. I know you know that. But you're acting like an idiot. Aliens?" He raised an eyebrow.

"It was good, huh?" I tried to smile.

"No. Just stop, Nick." He looked at me. "I know you don't trust him, right?" I nodded. Not one bit. "Look, just tell him what happened and get it over with. Don't be a baby. Once you tell, then you're done. Let them take care of the rest." I just looked away and studied the wall. It wasn't going to work. "I'll buy you ice cream," he said with a teasing tone. I caught his smile.

"I'm not a baby," I answered. I smiled slightly and pulled away from him, heading back to the main room. Everyone was in the same position. I sank into my seat and stared at the nerd with his pen still hovering above the pad.

"Go ahead," he said with a crooked smile. I went ahead and told him everything. Well, almost everything. Not quite. I guess I could've been a little less vague too. I told him all he needed to know. His response to everything I said was 'Uh huh' or 'Mm-hm'.

"And that's it," I finished, leaning my head back and shutting my eyes. That's the story.

"And the key? Do you have it?"

"Why?" I opened my eyes and looked at him skeptically.

"We would like to have it for evidence," he explained. I tried to see behind his eager, 'trust me' look. I didn't trust him for one second.

"I don't have it," I lied. "I threw it out."

"Oh ..." He frowned. I don't think he believed me, but I didn't care. I needed the key for when I was going to meet up with KC at the bank. "Well then, I guess that's it."

"Bye," I answered.

"Thank you for your cooperation, young man," he continued.

"Bye," I repeated. He just nodded with his faded smile and headed for the door, letting himself out. I let out a breath and shut my eyes again.

"What a nerd," I muttered. AJ started to laugh. "That was a total waste of time."

"Maybe they'll be able to help," Brian said.

"I don't even think he was a real detective," I said, shaking my head.

"You don't trust anybody."

"Why should I?" I answered tiredly. I wonder if I'd be able to take that extra Tylenol now? I'd been trying to ignore my headache for the past half hour.

"You guys wanna go grab something to eat?" Kev was asking. Why is it that all anyone can ever think about is food? That's what it seems like. No, I wasn't hungry. No, I didn't want to go out. "Nick, you hungry?" I groaned.

"No ..."

"You want pizza?"

I stared at him tiredly and shook my head. If I wasn't hungry, why the hell would I want pizza?

"C'mon," Brian said softly, shaking my arm. "Try and eat something. Please?"

I sighed. "Fine ..."

We wound up going to Pizza Hut, which I would have normally liked, except my whole side and stomach were really bothering me. I think all the Tylenol was wearing off. The guys didn't make me eat anything, but they forced about twenty glasses of soda on me. The second we got back to the hotel, I went straight to bed.

Under Pressure

Chapter 25

The phone was ringing. I waited and let it ring a few times before I rolled over to reach for it on the nightstand. Why wasn't anyone else answering it? I fumbled around for the reciever and finally just knocked it off. I grabbed it up, still not opening my eyes.

"What."

"Nice phone manners," I heard a woman's voice say. KC. I sat up quickly, glancing at the clock on the table. Eight o'clock.

"Hey, what's up?" I tried to keep my voice down.

"Tomorrow morning, nine o'clock? That's when the bank opens."

"Okay, I'll be there." I didn't know how or anything, but I could figure out something between now and then. Simple.

"Good. Take care of yourself, kid." Before I could answer, she hung up. Definitely not one for conversation. I sighed and hung the phone back up. I guess there really weren't too many details to go over or anything.

I hated sleeping during the day. Well, not so much hated. It was just that I would usually wake up before I usually went to bed, and everything just got messed up. If that made any sense at all.

I finally just gave up on falling back to sleep and got up. It was impossible. So I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, trying to wake up. I reached for the Tylenol and took one. Just to be safe.

"Hey. Where'd everyone go?" As I came into the main room I saw only AJ hanging around, sitting on the couch with his feet up. Where was everyone? AJ looked up from the TV and gave me a look.

"Out."

"Where?" I sat down across from him in the armchair, pulling my legs up beneath me. I don't think he was over the fact that Brian and I had lied to him because his expression never changed.

"I dunno. Out."

"They didn't say where they'd be?"

"Shut up. Can't you see I'm trying to watch a movie?" Okay then. I shut my mouth and looked at the television screen. I didn't recognize what movie it was, but it looked pretty boring. I sat in silence for a minute or two, but I couldn't take it anymore. I rested my chin on my hand, then glanced at AJ. I can't stay quiet for very long.

"AJ? Are you mad at me?"

Silence. I waited a little while but he didn't answer.

"AJ?"

Still no answer.

"I'm sorry about before, you know. It's not a big deal though, right? It's just ... God, everything's so messed up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you." I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. When I looked back at AJ he had a smirk on his face. I frowned. "What?"

"Just stop, Nick. God." He laughed. "I'm not mad, ok?"

"Okay." Why didn't I believe that? Something was still wrong.

"It's just ..." He rolled his eyes and finally looked at me. Here it comes. "Never mind."

"No, what?" My curiousity was peaked.

"Never mind," he repeated. I let out a breath, annoyed. I hate when people do that. "Who called before?"

"Huh?" I froze.

"The phone call. I wasn't gonna get it, but I heard you pick up. Who was it?"

"Dead line," I answered, looking back at the TV screen. I pretended to be absorbed in the toothpaste commercial. Wow, Crest.

"You can't lie," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Who was it?"

"Nobody ..."

"Tell me. You can trust me with stuff. I won't tell anybody. Swear." Yeah right. If there was anyone who couldn't keep a secret for their life, it was AJ. Unless it was about him that was. "Nicky ... I can make you tell," he said, starting to get up.

"Okay, okay," I said quickly. God. Did I have a choice? I took a breath and just filled him in on the newest plans. I wanted to tell somebody anyway. He stared at me.

"You're not going. No way." He shook his head.

"Geez, Bone, you sound like Kevin." He just made a face. "Look, AJ, this is the only way to fix things."

"How about I go with you?" he offered. With me? Was that a good idea? I hesitated. "Either I go with you or you don't go at all."

"Try me," I returned hotly.

"When I tell the guys of your plan you won't be so sure of yourself," came his quick reply. "Hm?"

He had a point. I sighed. Well, I wanted someone to go with me. And there was no way Brian would go with me because of what happened earler today. I shivered. That was too close.

"Yeah, come with me," I said finally. I would almost rather him come, the more I thought about it. "But you think of something to tell the guys?"

"Sure. I'll think of something," he said smoothly. I almost laughed. AJ would probably take care of everything. My nerves calmed a little. "Except ..."

"Except what?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Except now you owe me."

"Owe you? Like hell!"

"Hey, you wanna do this or not?"

"AJ, that's not fair! I don't have a choice!"

"There's always a choice, little man ..." He looked at me for a minute and I glared back. He laughed finally. "I'm kidding. You don't owe me anything. I was joking."

"It's not funny."

"Would I do that to you?"

"Yes!" I answered.

"No, I wouldn't." He looked almost hurt.

"Whatever."

-

Chapter 26

"Where're you guys going?"

"Shopping." AJ smiled sweetly at Brian and Kevin's doubtful faces the next day.

"Shopping?" Kevin looked skeptical.

"Yeah, I need a new hat and Nick said he saw a cool one at the mall last time."

"Nick didn't go to the mall last time," Brian said, looking at me questioningly. I kept my mouth shut and let AJ do all the talking.

"Last time he was at the mall. It was awhile ago but we wanna see if this place has it."

"Nick, don't you think you should take it easy for today?' Kevin started. AJ threw an arm around me.

"I'm taking care of the baby, don't worry." I shoved him away and made a face. "Don't worry," AJ continued. "We'll be back by ... twelve at the latest. If not you can kill us, okay?"

Kev laughed. "You said it, not me."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Brian was asking me. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's no big deal to go to the mall, Frick."

"Yeah, I know, but ..." He seemed to know something was up.

"I'll be fine," I repeated. "Really."

I was getting kind of nervous by the time we got out of there. I don't know whether I was afraid they would find out we weren't going to the mall, or if I was afraid something was going to happen at the bank.

"You ready to get this over with?" AJ asked as we got into a taxi.

"You have no idea." But I was getting kind of worried that things wouldn't go like we had planned. I didn't tell AJ that though.

When we got to the bank I didn't see KC anywhere, so we went inside to wait. The bank was really big, with a black and white tiled floor. I got a little queasy because they reminded of the tiles in the coffee shop, but I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It was going to be okay from here on.

"Where's your girlfriend, huh?" AJ tugged me toward a row of chairs and I sat down next to him.

"She's not my girlfriend. And I don't know ..."

"It's five after. No big deal." Instead of getting mad at me, he was trying to make me relax. I felt the key in my pocket and hoped to God that KC would show up and get things going.

"This is the right bank, right?"

"It's the only bank," AJ answered.

"That's good ..."

Ten more minutes passed and I started to get a little more worried. I jiggled my leg and started looking at the people around me nervously. AJ touched my arm.

"Maybe she's in traffic."

"Yeah. Maybe she forgot."

"How long do you wanna wait?"

"I don't know," I moaned. He laughed at me. Somehow I don't think AJ knew how serious this was. I looked up at the big clock on the wall. It was nine thirty.

"Hey, you wanna go to the mall afterall? I really do need a new hat, and-"

"Oh shit."

"What?" AJ shot me a look. "What's up."

"No, no way ... This can't be happening ..."

"Nicky, what's the matter?" AJ demanded. I was frozen to my seat. I couldn't take my eyes from the door because Sean had just walked through. Holy ...

"AJ ... Jay, oh my God." I grabbed his arm.

"What the hell is wrong?"

"Look at the door ... You see that guy?" My voice was shaky. "That's the guy. Sean."

AJ stared at me for a second. "Shit. C'mon, let's get out of here."

"How? He's blocking the exit ..." Oh God. "I'm sorry, AJ."

"Stop. Let's just be calm, okay? Let's think this through." I stared at him wide-eyed. My head started to hurt. Where was KC? Was she not on my side afterall? I didn't let go of AJ's arm. He looked just as scared as I felt though, so I didn't think he was going to be of much help.

"Why'd you listen to me and come, huh?"

"Look, Frack ... You were expecting him to be here, weren't you? That's how you wanted him to be caught. So how is this any different than the plan?"

"Cause KC's not here," I mumbled.

"Alright ..." AJ thought about that for a minute. "That's okay, buddy," he said finally.

I almost believed him too, until I looked over at Sean and found him looking at us. When he caught my eye he gave me that creepy smile. I shivered. Not good, not good. KC, where are you?

"AJ, it was nice knowing you," I whispered. "I always thought you were cool."

"Stop it," he said, smacking me softly. "It's gonna be okay. We'll be back by twelve and everything."

I almost believed that too. Until I glanced back over at Sean, and saw he was heading in our direction.

-

Chapter 27

I was hoping that any second I would wake up and that the past week and half or so would turn out to be a bad dream. But I was still wide awake and nothing had changed.

"Nick ..."

"On the count of three we'll make break for it to the door, okay? I'll count. One, t-"

"I don't think that's gonna happen," AJ said slowly. I followed his line of sight to the door, which was now being blocked by three overly large guys. By overly large I mean huge. Gorilla sized. These dudes weighed more than me and all the guys combined. I swallowed.

"Okay, new plan ..." I watched warily as Sean's path to us took a right and he met up with another gorilla that I hadn't even known was in the bank. Damn. Where was KC?

"Do you have a cell?" AJ asked in a low voice. I shook my head.

"You?"

"No. Dammit, I left it in the hotel."

"There's a payphone over there," I said, looking over to the other side of the bank.

"Good luck getting there. And who're we gonna call, the guys? Sorry fellas, we didn't go to the mall we went to the bank and are now being held hostage. Just wanted to let you know!"

"We're not being held hostage," I said flatly.

"No? What would you call it, Nick?"

Good question, man. Trapped maybe? Dead? I just shrugged.

"You know, I was hoping you were making all this shit up," he said suddenly, looking over at me.

"Making it up?" I stared at him. "Why the hell would I do that for?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Attention?"

"I don't want this kinda attention, thank you." I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned. What a loser. "We shoulda brought our guards with us," I muttered.

"We're not that swift ...".

"Yeah, well." We were silent for a minute.

"Look man, I'm gonna try and get to the phone. What's his face doesn't know me, so I'll have a better chance than you."

"Yeah, but he's seen us together, dumbass." Okay, I was getting annoyed. Just a little bit. So was AJ. If looks could kill right then ...

"Sit tight," he said, voice sharp. "I'll be right back."

"Whatever." Maybe I should have tried to stop him, but we really didn't have any other choices right then. None that I saw anyway. I watched him disappear across the floor to the hall with phones and restrooms, jiggling my foot uneasily. Alright now, Carter, think. Get yourself out of this mess.

"Hey there, blondie ..." a voice interrupted. I lost about ten years of my life when one of the huge guys sat down in the seat where AJ had just been. I couldn't breathe. I stared at him with wide eyes, not moving.

"What's the matter?" the gruff voice continued. "You're gonna be fine if you just follow the rules of the game ..." What if I don't wanna play anymore though? I just stared at him, shifting in my seat nervously. "Okay?"

"Okay," I repeated, nodding slowly. I was almost shaking by this point.

"You see those guys over there?" He motioned to the beefy guys at the door. "They're our agents. There's more of them outside."

"What do you guys eat?" I asked incredulously. He smiled slightly.

"We also have your good friend. KC she goes by now? KC's waiting outside. Her life depends on whether or not you listen, understand?" I nodded again. Just play along now, I told myself. Think of something later. "My name's Larry. You listen to me, okay?" I nodded again. "What's your name?"

"Nick."

"Nick. I had a brother with that name," he said with a short laugh. Something told me I didn't want to know what happened to that brother. I was noticing that his hands were bigger than my whole head. Just a little intimidating.

"What're you waiting for?" I asked him, looking at Sean now on a cellphone.

"Things have to be secured you know," Larry said. "We're waiting for the right moment. We wanna make sure that KC didn't set us up." He was really into this talking thing. It was making me nervous. Where was AJ and what was taking him so long? Was he still on the phone or did he escape and leave me here? Maybe I shouldn't have been so obnoxious to him. But he was mean too. Oh God.

While I was drowning myself in these worries, I realized that Larry had gotten up and gone back to Sean. They were deep in conversation. I looked over at the bank tellers and wondered why they didn't seem to notice that something suspicious was going on. Retards.

AJ? Where'd you go, man? Don't leave me like this. I was gonna kill him when he came back. About fifteen minutes had passed. Enough time to make a hundred phonecalls, right? Maybe he locked himself in the bathroom or something. Maybe.

I felt the key in my pocket and sighed. How about I just threw the damn thing and whoever got it first got to keep it. Finders keepers. While they fought over it I would take off. Something told me that wasn't going to work. Plus Bone was still missing in action. The jerk.

Under Pressure

Chapter 28

And then the police came.

Don't ask me why I just sat there like an idiot. Maybe it's because I am an idiot. I sat there, kind of frozen to my seat as they rushed in with their guns pulled out and badges flashing. But the weird thing was that Sean and all his buddies just sort of disappeared. One second they were there and then, poof, they were gone.

And so was AJ.

I wondered if I should take this time of confusion to make my discreet exit without anyone noticing I was ever there.

"Son, we're gonna have to ask you to leave the vicinity ..."

Too late. The cop had me by the arm and was pulling me from my seat.

"But ..."

"No buts. Get outta here, kid. You don't wanna be in the middle of this, believe me."

Oh believe me, mister. I know.

"But my friend-"

"Every customer's being asked to leave, son. We're searching the building. You can find your friend outside." I watched the other officers rushing around frantically and swallowed. Shit.

"You don't understand-"

"Go home," he interrupted, dragging me to the door. I couldn't exactly fight the guy on it. He left me on the sidewalk and I noticed a crowd of people was drawing to try and catch a glimpse of what was going on.

I recognized no one. Which was both good and bad. I didn't stay around long enough to find anyone that I did.

I wasn't that much of an idiot.

-

Excuses, excuses.

What I wouldn't give for a damn good one of those right now.

I went 'shopping' for a hat with AJ. I'm coming back without a hat. And without AJ. Talk about being in deep.

I decided to walk back to the hotel rather than take a taxi. I figured I was pretty much screwed either way. If Sean killed me on the street, it might be a blessing in disguise. I mean, I was pretty much going to be killed when I got to the hotel safely anyway. It was a Catch 22. No way out.

I wondered for awhile if maybe AJ was playing some sort of joke on me. That maybe he would pop out when I got to the hotel and be so proud that he scared the shit out of me. It was something AJ might do, that's for sure.

I think I was getting an ulcer just thinking about it.

I walked slowly.

Very slowly.

By the time I got to the hotel, it was only about eleven o'clock. I had an hour until I had to show up. I sat down in a bench and lowered my head in my hands.

I debated running away.

Okay, it might work. But where would I go? I didn't want to go home.

After a few minutes, I came up with a perfect plan.

I would get enough money to buy my own boat, and then I would sail off on the ocean and never come back again. Ever. I could live on my boat and I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. I could fish for food so I would never have to come inland. And no one would ever find me.

Okay, it was a nice dream. But somehow I just didn't see it happening anywhere in the near future.

Still, running away didn't seem like such a bad option anymore. I didn't care if it was 'taking a break' or 'running away'. There wasn't any significant difference to me any longer. And I'd be safe.

The longer I sat there, the less hope I had of AJ meeting back up with me. My biggest fear was of the chance of him being somewhere with Sean. My stomach twisted just thinking about it. Why did we have to separate? Why had we been fighting?

I was an idiot. That's why. Simply that.

"Nick?"

Howie. Coming from the parking lot. I was dead. So much for running away.

I swallowed and pretended not to hear. I still had a chance. I kept my head down and hoped he'd think I was somebody else. Okay, I'm really naive sometimes. Anyway, big surprise, he didn't fall for it.

"Nicky? What're you doing out here?"

"Oh, hey Howie ..." I tried to think. "I'm just waitin' around." Good one ...

"You okay? You look kinda tired." He dropped down next to me on the bench, not waiting for an answer. "Where's AJ?"

"He's ... Uh ... He saw a girl and took off. He'll be right back."

"That's AJ for ya." He rolled his eyes. "How was the mall?"

I shrugged. No answer, no lie.

"Find the hat?"

I shook my head. Nope, no hats.

"Oh well. He's got a million anyway. You gonna come up?"

I shook my head again, looking out at the street. A lady was buying a newspaper across outside a store. She took awhile getting the money out of her purse.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothin', Howie."

"You sure?"

I shrugged. God, Nick. Can't you keep yourself under control? Everything was fine. AJ was playing a joke. This whole thing was a joke. You're just blowing it out of proportion. Majorly. "Can I tell you something, D? And you not tell anybody?"

"That doesn't sound good," he said. I felt his eyes on me but I kept my gaze locked across the street.

"It's not. Promise?"

"Tell."

"We didn't go to the mall," I started. I paused for a second and I finally looked him in the eye. "KC called yesterday when you guys were out. To make plans. I told AJ and we went to the bank today to try and fix everything."

Silence.

"Howie?"

He just gave me this look. He was surprised. "Then what?"

"Everything went wrong, D," I moaned. "I'm so dead. Me and AJ split up and I don't know where he went so I came back here ... I'm so scared ..."

"God, Nicky." He looked down and studied the ground. "And you really have no clue where Bone is?" I saw the worry on his face and cursed myself. This was my fault. If AJ didn't come back ...

"What am I gonna do?" I sounded desperate. Hell, I was desperate. I was gonna break down.

"The guys are upstairs, so come and-"

"Be killed? I can't Howie." My stomach churned. "I can't. I'll just stay here and wait for Jay. He'll come. I know he will."

"C'mon, Nicky. That's not gonna help anybody and you know it."

I brushed away the tears that suddenly came to my eyes and sniffled. My head felt all stuffy. "Do you think I should tell them the truth or give the story about the girl?"

"What do you think?"

I sighed. "They're gonna kill me you know."

"Don't say that. I didn't, did I?"

"No, but you love me."

"So do they. C'mon." He pulled me up and we started toward the hotel doors. I cast one look over my shoulder at the street behind us. The lady was still there with her newspaper.

No AJ.

-

Chapter 29

My first thought when I got in there was to make a break for my room and lock myself in there before it was too late. But I couldn't stay in there forever so I decided the next best thing to do would be to come straight out with it and just get it over with.

"Guys?"

Brian and Kevin were in the main room, in the middle of watching a taped basketball game. I could have told them the Bulls won, but I didn't want my head smashed in any more than it had to be.

"Hey, Nicky," Brian said, eyes not leaving the screen as someone got a lay-up. "What's up?"

"Uh, not much."

Howie gave me a look.

"Can I talk to you guys for a second?" My heart was already speeding up. I was just afraid of them hearing what I was going to say as I was of Sean killing me.

"Sure." Kevin looked up and grabbed the controller from Brian to pause the tape. "Where's AJ?"

"I don't know."

He cracked a smile. "Funny."

"I'm not kidding ..." I ran a hand through my hair nervously. "Actually ... we, um, we never ... I ..."

"Spit it out," Brian said, rolling his eyes with a smile. Alright, here goes nothing.

"Well ... We never went to the mall. We went to the bank. To meet with KC ... It went all bad. AJ's gone." I said it all in one breath. Then I took one look at their faces and swallowed. "Well that's what I wanted to talk about so I'll be going now."

"Hold up. You what?!" Kevin stared at me. "Come a little closer here, Nick."

I shook my head and stepped behind Howie. Brian looked like he was in shock. Oh God. Why was I such an idiot ...I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

"I shoulda told the other story, D," I whispered to Howie. He just shook his head.

"Are you nuts, Nick?! What the hell were you thinking?!" Kevin exploded. "That was a shitty thing to do."

Thanks for clearing that up for me, Kevin.

"C'mere."

I shook my head again. I wasn't in the mood to be pounded.

"I didn't know it was gonna get all screwed up, Kev."

"Why'd you lie to us, huh?"

"We were gonna go to the mall after ..." It was worth a try. Kevin glared even more. "You wouldn't've let us go."

"You ever stop and think why? Shit, Nick." He got up and I watched warily until I saw he wasn't coming near me. "Shit," he repeated, running his hands through his hair.

"Sorry, Train."

He looked at me and shook his head. "What are you gonna do now, huh?"

"What?"

"You and all your plans on how to solve this thing. What's next, Nick?"

"I don't know." I stared at the carpet. "I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not," he muttered. I looked up, surprised, but he was looking somewhere else. I made my escape to the couch next to Brian. He gave me a look.

"You don't trust me anymore?"

I gave him a confused look.

"I went with you to the other place, now you don't even tell me anything? I was there with KC when she told us about the bank plan." He really seemed hurt.

"No ..." I shook my head. "AJ made me. He found out and he made me take him."

"Uh huh ..."

"Don't be mad at me, Brian ..." I paused. "Besides, now you don't have to worry about having your ass kicked by Kevin."

"That's true." He grabbed me in a headlock and kissed the top of my head playfully. "It was nice knowing you, Nicky."

"You're not funny. Are you mad at me?"

"No." He let me go. "I'm not mad."

"I am." Kevin dropped down next to us on the couch. He knocked the side of my head softly. "Don't lie."

"I'm sorry."

Kevin let out a sigh. "What are we gonna do? Where do you think he went?"

"I don't know. He went to call you guys and ..." I trailed off. "Maybe he's doing it to spite me."

"I'll kill him too," Kevin muttered.

"Are you gonna kill me?"

"I don't know yet, baby, I'm thinking about it. I'll let you know, okay?"

I just sighed, not finding him the least bit funny.

"I need to think," he continued, pulling up from the couch and running his hands through his hair again. "I'm gonna go take a walk."

"Want company?" Howie offered.

"No thanks," Kevin answered. He looked at me and held up a finger. "Don't go anywhere."

"Okay." I watched him grab a key off the counter and head for the door. I moaned. "Everything's going so wrong ..."

"Next time you get a plan, tell us," Howie answered, dropping into the seat where Kevin had been.

"So what do you wanna do since we can't go anywhere and we don't know when Kev will come back?" Brian asked. We shrugged.

"Do you think AJ's playing a joke?" I asked desperately, inwardly begging them to say yes.

"Dunno," Howie said. "I hope so."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. I didn't care if I looked like a baby. If AJ was playing, I was gonna kill him.

"Aw, don't cry." Brian wrapped his arms around me. "It'll be okay."

"I don't see how," I got out. "Everything that could possibly go wrong has."

"Then nothing else can go wrong," Brian answered with a shrug. "Right, Fracky?"

"I don't know ..." I sniffled again and shut my eyes. Maybe if I went to sleep everything would be okay when I woke up. I know it hadn't worked the hundred times before, but maybe this time it would after all.

-

Chapter 30

I had the weirdest, weirdest dream. What happened was that AJ hadn't disappeared, he'd left me on purpose and joined up with Sean to try and kill me. He wanted to get back at me for everything I'd ever done to him. So AJ was a bad guy but no one but me knew about it and everybody still trusted him and nobody would believe me when I tried to tell them.

I woke up suddenly with a jump, right before AJ killed me. Weird ... I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room. Brian still had his arm around me, but Howie had moved to the armchair across from us. And Kevin was back, sitting on the other end of the couch. I looked past them and toward the rest of the room, the door.

"He's not back?"

Brian literally jumped. "Hey, Nicky, you're up."

Thanks Brian, I didn't know that. I sat up a little and nodded.

"He's not back yet?" My voice sounded strained. I had convinced myself AJ would be back when I woke up. I looked around the room. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Nothing. I rubbed my eyes again and Brian caught my wrist.

"Not yet." Yet.

"But I thought ..." I trailed off. What'd you think now, Nicky? Like Kevin said, you and all your fantastic plans. I looked toward the door, not saying anything else.

"You hungry, Nick? We were gonna order a pizza."

I stared at Kevin. AJ is missing and you want to order a pizza. Great, Kevin, just great. I shook my head.

"Not hungry."

"Maybe you should try and eat."

"Maybe not."

"Carter, don't start. Please."

Start what? I sucked in a breath. Why was I always the one starting things?

"Guys, come on-"

A knock came at the door, interrupting Howie's peacemaking speech. He got up to get it.

Who could it be ... Sean? His goons? A cop? The terminator?

"Sorry, D, I forgot my key."

AJ?

I jumped up, Brian and Kevin behind me. AJ was shutting the door, he grinned at me when he looked up. I didn't smile back.

"Where the hell'd you go?!"

"I got dinner," he told me with a laugh, holding up a bag of McDonald's. "See?"

Dinner? He was gone that whole time getting to McDonald's? Scaring the crap out of us for a Big Mac?

"Were you scared, Nicky?"

That was it. I punched him. In the stomach. Not very hard, but he sucked in a breath and glared at me. The look of death.

"What the hell's the matter with you?"

"You," I answered as Kevin wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me to him. Like I was going to attack AJ or something. Yeah right. I'd already taken my chances.

"Me? What'd I do? Look, I'm sorry I'm late and everything," he started. "I was kinda delayed by some cops." He paused and gave me a look. "I assume they know?" He motioned to the guys. I nodded.

"Yeah, we know," Kevin said dryly.

"Cops?" Howie repeated.

"Yeah," AJ scoffed. "I mean, for God's sake do I look like a criminal?"

Well, AJ, you definitely don't look like a Catholic school kid if that's what you mean. Of course, I didn't say anything. Kevin still had a hold on me.

"What happened?" Brian asked.

"Can we eat while we talk?" AJ lifted up the paperbag with a sigh, giving us a sad look. "I've been carrying this around and I'msooo hungry."

"Yeah sure." Kevin laughed and finally let me go. "C'mon."

We ate in the main room, on the couches. I actually was kind of hungry too, and nobody yelled at me to eat for once. Thank God. AJ's story was actually pretty entertaining.

Seems like, what happened to him was that after he had left me, he got to the phones, but they weren't really in working order and he wasn't able to make a call. He was hitting the payphone to try and get it to work, so then when the cops came to get everyone out of the building, they got suspicious of him being back there and took him in for questioning. That was the funny part.

"Did they catch anybody else?" I asked.

"I don't know really. But they gave me a number that if I saw and remember anything else, I should call." He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and tossed it on my lap. "That's for you, big guy."

I made a face and picked it up. It was an 800 number. Police hotline?

"Here Nick," Brian joked, pulling the phone off the end table and dropping it in my lap. "Dial away."

"I'm eating," I complained, pushing it back at him. They couldn't argue with that.

Brian just laughed and put it back up on the table.

I could call later. Maybe the police had been quick enough and had caught up with Sean and the rest of the guys too. Or found KC, wherever she was. I could hold onto that hope until I called at least.

"So you guys were upset with me gone, huh? You were worried about me?" AJ was grinning. I shook my head. Never give AJ the satisfaction.

"No, we were upset when you came back," I anwered disappointedly, giving him a smile to show I was joking.

He dumped the rest of his fries over my head anyway.

Under Pressure

Chapter 31

I eventually got enough nerve to call the number AJ had given me. It wasn't so much that I was scared about calling it, I mean, it was only a number; but there were just these doubts in the back of my mind. There were a lot of doubts there actually. I tried to clear them away.

I didn't want to do it in front of the guys, so I used the phone in the room Brian and I shared. More privacy. It was hard to come by that around here sometimes. I laid there awhile on the bed staring at the ceiling and thinking of Fiona's face on the floor before I picked up the reciever.

The person on the line seemed like they'd been expecting me to call. I guess AJ had told them a lot. He's not very good with secrets. He'll tell everybody. You tell me something, I'll never tell a soul. Anyway, the guy on the phone, Tom Werner he introduced himself as, seemed to know most of the details already. He only wanted to know a couple more and then he told me he was sending over somebody from security by the name of Charles. That's all he gave me. He told me Charles would be coming within the hour. I just said okay. This couldn't be my fault this time, the guys told me to call. If something went wrong with Charles, then I'd blame them.

When I hung up the phone, I leaned back on the pillows and sighed, staring at the ceiling. I was feeling pretty bad about the whole thing. All Fiona wanted was for me to look after the key, and look at what a lousy job I was doing of it. Seemed like I couldn't do anything right lately. I couldn't help but dwell on it.

"You call?"

I almost jumped and glanced over at the door. AJ was standing there, leaning against the doorframe. I sat up a little.

"Yeah."

"Good ..." He had this odd, smug look on his face. "Good," he repeated. He moved into the room, shutting the door. I frowned.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothin'. You know, Nick, Sean's not that bad a guy, once you get to know him."

"What?"

"You'll see. I'm glad you called the number, it's better this way." He gave me that smug smile again and sat at the edge of the bed. "I hate to do this, Nicky, but ..."

"But ...?" Was my bad dream coming true?

"It's better this way," he repeated. "Bye, Nick." He reached behind him as if he was grabbing something and I shot out of the bed, screaming bloody murder. I slammed the door shut on my way out and ran into the main room. Kevin was the only one in there so I dived onto the couch next to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Okay, I was scared.

"Nicky-"

"AJ's bad," I got out quickly. "Don't trust him, he's not on our side, Sean possessed him. He's evil."

"Nicky-"

"He's gonna kill me!"

Kevin was trying to detach me from him. "He's not bad, baby, what'd he say?"

"Don't let him near me, Kev, he's bad."

"AJ!" Kevin hollered. "Get in here!"

"No, don't," I pleaded. I really was convinced that AJ was evil. And that he had a gun. And that he was going to shoot me or something. I was too stressed out to even think through the logic of the situation. I didn't want him near me.

"Yeah?" I heard. AJ sounded very, very amused.

"What the hell did you say to him?" Kevin sounded very, very pissed. It's nice having the big guy on your side every now and then.

"I was just playing with him and he freaked."

"AJ, you don't joke with him on this, understand? He's not exactly up for it."

"Yeah, but-" He must have gotten some glare from Kev here because he cut off pretty fast. "Okay. I know. I'm sorry." He paused. "I'm sorry, Nicky."

I didn't answer him. Let the guilt sink in. I'm scarred for life, AJ.

"Okay, Nicky? I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared," I mumbled. I loosened my grip on Kevin and tried to breathe evenly, feeling a little stupid.

"Yeah, right! You basically-"

"AJ!" Kevin interrupted. "Enough already."

"Alright, I'm sorry. You okay, Frack?"

"Yes." Way too much stress on my poor heart, but yes I was okay.

"I was just trying to loosen you up a little," AJ continued. "I didn't know it was gonna scare you so much."

"What'd you think it would do to him?!" Kevin objected. I smiled slightly. Protector mode. AJ sat down next to me on the couch and I slid away from him.

"Aw, don't be like that!" He looked hurt. I gave him an innocent look. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Okay."

"You forgive me?" He had to make sure of course. Begging for mercy, I could get used to this. I debated whether or not to make him get down on his knees. "Nick?"

"Yeah, Jay." I rolled my eyes.

"You're okay?"

"I'm fine," I muttered. Geez ...

"Alright, just checking," he answered, slightly annoyed. Oh well. The worried AJ lasted long enough I guess. I pulled up from the couch and went to get a drink before things got personal.

-

Chapter 32

I was trying to sleep. The key word here being 'trying'. I was kind of having a hard time of it. You know when you're exhausted, but you just have so much crap on your mind that you can't drift off? You just kept thinking about everything instead, no matter how hard you tried?

Well that's what was wrong with me.

"Nick? You up?"

I think the same thing was wrong with Brian.

"Mm?" I rolled over as I felt the bed sink down next to me.

"I can't sleep, can you?" he asked softly. I shook my head and he stretched out next to me on the bed, an extra pillow behind his head. "You doing okay?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry about before."

"Why?"

"You know, just not being there. For getting upset before."

"You didn't ..."

"Still." He shrugged. "I don't know. I just hope everything goes back to normal soon. That we can forget about all this."

"Me too," I whispered. More than anything in the world, I just wanted to forget about everything. Forget about whose side I was on, what it was all about. Just erase it from memory. No more blood on the tiles, no more Fiona's face, no more key, no more running, no more fear-

" ... -Nick?"

"Huh?" I tore my gaze from the ceiling and looked over at Brian. "Yeah?"

"You sure you're alright?"

Good question. I wasn't so sure. I nodded slowly.

"Get some sleep, okay? You look tired." Brian started to get up but I caught his arm.

"I can't," I started, sitting up more. "I want to just forget, but I can't." I sounded like a nutcase.

"You will." Brian sat back down easily, grabbing the pillow again. "You will, it just takes time, you know. Like everything else. It's okay. Just give it time."

Right. Time. Hopefully if everything goes the way it's supposed to I'll have some of that left. I looked back at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. There was no way I was going to sleep. I would have nightmares.

"Wanna play Nintendo?" I tried, looking at Brian hopefully. I could tell he was going to say no at first, but I gave him a pleading look and he rolled his eyes.

"Sure, why not," he said, stifling a yawn. "C'mon."

We'd had it set up in the main room from another time, so we just muted the sound on the TV and grabbed our spots on the floor. Brian won two games, I won four, and we were on our seventh when I glanced over and found him curled up on his side, sound asleep on the floor.

Well.

Steep competition here. I restarted the level for a solo game instead, not wanting to wake him. I was getting pretty tired myself though, but I didn't want to sleep.

"Hey," a voice hissed. I jumped, turning my head. Kevin was standing near the kitchen with a glass of water in his hand. I guess he'd gotten up to get a drink and I hadn't seen him pass.

"Hi," I answered back in a whisper. "Wanna play?"

He shook his head. "You look exhausted, Frack. Why don't you get to bed?"

No thanks, I was perfectly fine. I didn't answer.

"C'mon." He set his glass on the counter and started over. "I see my cousin's out for the count, huh?"

"Pretty much. He just drifted off mid-game."

"Take a hint from the boy, c'mon." Kevin took the game controller from Brian's hand and shook his shoulder. "Bri?" No response. "Brian, you wanna sleep on the floor?" Still no answer. Kevin gave up and just hoisted him off the floor. If Brian was tired, then once he was out, he was out. Kevin started toward the room. "C'mon, Carter."

I flipped of the game and the TV with a sigh. I guess I was tired anyway. Pulling myself off the floor with a yawn, I glanced at the clock. Two-thirty. Yeah, I was tired.

Brian slept through being dumped on his bed by Kev as I went over and collasped on my bed heavily. I really was tired too. I was half asleep by the time my head hit the pillow.

"Night, Nick."

"Night," I answered into the pillow. Kevin flipped off the light and I heard him leave. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling for a second. Tomorrow, things would be better.

Somehow, that thought let sleep come.

-

Chapter 33

"Nick ... Nick, wake up."

"Five minutes," I mumbled into my pillow. I finally get to sleep and I have to wake up?

No.

"Wake up." Brian hit me through my blankets. "C'mon ..."

"I'm awake, I'm resting ..."

"Then get up," he restated, grabbing the edge of my covers and giving a tug. That was cruel. I tried to curl up and go back to sleep, but I was beginning to lose hope of that even being possible. "Nickolas ..."

"You're mean," I said as he took my pillow from under my head and hit me with it. Very mean. I was almost awake when he swung the pillow again, soI just grabbed the other pillow and swung back at him. Score.

"Littrell, I said wake him up, not start World War III," I heard Kevin say from the door. Luckily, at that Brian left me and went to attack his cousin with my pillow. I took advantage of the rare opportunity to go back to bed, pulling my comforter up off the floor with me. Ah ... sleep.

"Nicky! Outta bed!"

"Nick, get up."

Alright, so now they were both after me. Great. I moaned. What did I have to get up for anyway? Not like we were doing anything special today anyway. Were we?

I sat up and stared at them with a sleep clouded mind. "What're we doing?"

"Well your friend Charlie had come yesterday, so-"

"Charlie? Friend?" I interrupted. What friend Charlie? I didn't have a friend named Charlie ...

"You know. Charles? The security guy from the station?" Kevin gave me his 'duh, earth to Nick' look. Oh. That Charlie. Okay then.

"That's fabulous," I said, falling back into bed. I was prepared to fight for extra sleep.

"He wanted to ask you some questions about everything," Kevin continued.

"Well tell him to see me at a decent time."

"It's already one o'clock, Nick."

Oh well, there goes any point I was trying to make. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. So when I have time to sleep, I can't; yet when I can sleep, I'm not allowed to! I was slowly learning the facts of life.

I gathered enough energy to get out of bed, sending Brian and Kevin the most annoyed glare I could muster.

"You guys suck," I told them.

"Thanks man," was Kevin's reply. Brian just hit me over the head with the pillow.

-

"These are all guys that you're after? That you haven't caught?"

I stared at the huge, heavy binder on my lap and then looked across at Charlie, who was sitting in an armchair, looking back at me nonchalantly. Charlie the guy from the station who was supposed to protect me and catch this guy. Charlie the guy who had given me this hundred pound binder full of criminal sketches to point out Sean. Each one had a serial number underneath the picture.

"Most of them are just suspects," he answered easily, rubbing his short beard. He reminded me of that guy Wilson from Home Improvement. AJ flipped the page over to scan the next one. He was sitting next to me and had half the binder on his lap, it was that big.

"Oh look, it's my eighth grade English teacher," he told me, pointing to a rough sketch of this scary looking lady with a scowl on her face. "Mrs. Bickle ..."

"You're awful," Kevin said, hearing him from his spot on the couch. AJ just grinned and went back to pointing out funny looking people and trying to make me laugh.

Once his finger landed on a hard faced guy with a scar across his cheek and he told me it was his uncle on his dad's side. It wasn't funny because I knew he was only half playing around. AJ thought it was funny though. My eyes were getting too tired after about the fiftieth page anyway. I thought I would never find the picture we were after.

"That's him," I said suddenly. I pointed to a sketch on the right side of the page, thanking God I'd finally come across it. My sleep was going to be filled with nightmares of all these empty faces.

"My uncle?" AJ moved my finger down to see the one I was pointing at.

"No dumbass."

"Oh," AJ answered as Charlie leaned forward and lifted the massive binder off our laps. It looked like it weighed nothing when he handled it.

"Which one?"

I pointed to it again and he wrote down something on a pad of paper.

"Is that even gonna help you?"

He looked up at me. "Maybe." He got up from his chair, pulling out a cellphone and heading to the hall for privacy.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the couch. Or maybe not, was what he was reallly thinking. I knew it. It was probably a hopeless deal and here everybody was leading me on that everything was going to be alright. AJ threw an arm around my shoulders and copied my sigh dramatically.

I elbowed him in the side with a smile and he laughed.

Charlie rushed back into the room a second later, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. "Something's up. Don't move," he directed, jogging toward the door. "Lock this behind me."

Kevin jumped up to do just that, and I turned to the rest of the guys with a frown. "What's that supposed to mean? What's happening?"

They shrugged, speechless.

"Don't worry though," Howie tried after the long pause. "Right, Kev?" I looked up as Kevin came back in the room, catching his eye for a second.

"What?" he asked, looking away in Howie's direction. I swallowed.

"We shouldn't worry?"

"I don't know, fellas," came his too honest answer. Why couldn't he just lie to us? Sure I was complaining about that a second ago, but that didn't mean I rathered the truth.

Under Pressure

Chapter 34

If there's one thing I've been learning a lot lately, it's that things never go as expected. Ever. I don't know if this holds true for most other people, but it surely does for me. Especially lately.

Charlie didn't come back. For a long time, we just sat up in that room and waited. I was getting nervous because I knew something had to be going wrong. Or else he would have come back, right? I wasn't stupid.

It had been a couple hours since Charlie had left and I had fallen into a restless sleep on the couch. I was just so exhausted. I figured all my sleepless nights were catching up with me. Something told me they would be for a long time, especially because of everything that was haunting me when I closed my eyes.

Sean, Fiona, KC, the tiles, the smell of coffee, Sean, the key, the notes, the gun, that guy Vin, Sean, the blood, the sound of a shot, the look on Fiona's face, Sean-

I sat up with a start, breathing heavy. I felt a hand on my back and jumped. It was Brian.

"You okay?"

"Yeah . . ."

Kevin was on the phone fighting with somebody. He glanced over when he heard I was up and walked out of the room. " . . . he's not exactly up for it," was all I caught. Probably talking about me.

I glanced over and saw AJ sleeping in what looked like an uncomfortable position on the side of the couch. Howie was sleeping in the armchair with his feet up on the coffee table. What time was it anyway? We were all sleeping. "Has anything happened?"

Brian just shook his head. "I don't know, somebody just called though, I don't know who."

"Nothing from Charlie?"

Another shake of the head from Brian. "Not that I know of. Maybe that's him," he said with a shrug, motioning to the direction of where Kevin had disappeared to.

"Maybe," I repeated, unconvinced. I leaned against Brian and sighed. "I'm sick of this."

"I know, buddy, we all are," Brian said tiredly. "But you've really held together through this, we're proud of you."

If they only knew how much I was really falling apart on the inside I don't think he would be saying that.

"Hey sleepy," Kevin greeted as he came back into the room, placing the portable phone back in its holder on the table. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah." I sat up a little. "Who was that? Charlie?"

"No . . . uh, we're not gonna be seeing Charlie anymore." Kevin had a weird look on his face and my stomach sank. I knew something had happened. He'd been a nice guy too. "But um, they think they have somebody . . ."

"They do?" Brian sounded relieved.

"Yeah . . . Nick, they want you to come in to identify him. But you don't have to if you don't want to, alright? They're not gonna make you if you're not up to it."

"I can handle it." I wanted this over with once and for all. If it meant facing my biggest nightmare up close and personal, then so be it. "I'll do it, Kev."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

-

The police station had two rooms divided by a two-way mirror. You could only see through one way, the other side was just a normal mirror. The lights on our side would be off, the lights on the other side would be on. It may look like he's staring right at you, they told me, but he's really not.

So I was ready. He couldn't see me but I could see him. I could handle that. Besides, all the guys were with me. I didn't know if they were supposed to be, but I wouldn't let them leave. The officer in the room with us didn't seem to mind. In fact, I think she was enjoying it.

"There'll be a lineup of five suspects," she said. "We'll ask the one suspect to step forward, and you can tell us whether or not it's him, okay? Pretty simple, huh?"

I just nodded. Simple.

The lights on our side were flipped off and the other lights were flipped on, revealing an empty white room. I felt my heartbeat speed up a little. This was it, this was it.

"Suspects," the officer in the room said. She had a little intercom and we could hear her voice echo in the empty room on the other side of the glass. A second later, a line of five scruffy looking guys walked into the room and faced toward us, backs against the wall. It looked like they were all staring straight at me.

"Face left," the officer said over the intercom. They all turned. "Face right." They all turned again. "Front."

I got over the fact that they were all looking at me and studied each one carefully.

"Will suspect number three please step forward."

The man stepped forward and stared straight ahead. Straight at me. Oh God.

The officer flipped off the intercom. "That him?"

"No," I said after a pause. "None of them are."

"Alright," she said. The phone at her hip suddenly rang and she flipped it on. "Yeah?"

I turned back and leaned toward Brian. "I don't like this," I whispered.

"Me neither," he said softly.

"They've got another suspect," the officer spoke up. I turned back to look at her. "They were trailing him leaving your hotel at the time Charlie was with you, and just now caught up with him. They're sending him in."

And it was him. He came in with a guard, fighting the whole way. His face was contorted with anger, his eyes were threatening. After a second, he broke away from the guard and slammed against the glass that separated us.

"Dead," he yelled. "You're dead!"

I instinctively moved to the back of the room.

"He can't see you," the woman reminded me. So what? I could see him, that was scary enough. I glanced back and saw the guard was restraining him. "Is that him?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Are we done here?" Kevin spoke up. I felt his hands drop on my shoulders. "Can we go?"

"You're done. Thank you for your help." She held out a piece of paper with a number written on it neatly. "If you feel that you need someone to talk to, to get you through this . . ."

"Thanks," Kevin said absently, grabbing the paper. "C'mon, Nick."

I glanced back one more time at the glass. Sean was still yelling and screaming at me. He looked crazy.

-

Chapter 35

I just needed time. That's all. If I just had a little time to think things through and convince myself that everything was over and that it was going to be alright, then I'd be fine. I mean, I was fine. Everything was fine.

I didn't even have the key. I had given it over to the police once and for all after; it was up to them now that it fell into the right hands. They knew about KC and promised to track down both her and her family. I could only hope.

I listened to the steady sound of our bus speeding along the highway, but it didn't have the same relaxed tone it usually had. Every now and then we would pass by an exit with some lights and the room would light up, then be dark again.

It'd been three days. Three days since I last saw Sean, since I'd had anything to do with him. Three days and I still couldn't sleep. It had been in the paper about the arrest, and even though I saw the article it still didn't seem real to me, that it was over. I still felt that someone was after me. I still jumped at every shadow. I still saw everything so . . . clear.

"Nick?" A hand dropped on my shoulder and I let out a yell. The same hand clamped over my mouth gently. "Shut up," came a whisper.

AJ.

"Don't sneak up on me . . ." I answered in a low voice when he uncovered my mouth and dropped down next to me on the couch. Why did everybody have to go around sneaking up on everyone?

"I didn't," he muttered, leaning back. "What's the matter? Can't sleep?" I just shrugged in response. "Oh, Nicky. C'mon. It's over."

"I know that." Yeah, I knew it, but did I believe it?

"No, you don't. It's over."

"I know."

"Then what's the matter? How come you're not sleeping, huh?"

"I'm just thinking."

"Thinking? About what?"

"Just . . ." I trailed off.

"You see? It's over, babe, get it through your head. Nobody's coming after you, or us, or anybody else. He's behind bars for his life, and who knows what else he's in for. Just get him out of your mind. Don't even think about it. Pretend it was some movie and just try and forget about it."

"I am trying, it's not that easy . . ." I felt my voice start to break and looked away.

"Man, Nick. I know. But everything'll be fine. Everything is fine. Alright?"

"Alright . . ."

"You sound so convincing."

I gave him a look and he rolled his eyes.

"Relax. Or else we're gonna hypnotize you make you fall asleep." He laughed and waved a finger in my face. "You're gettingsleepy."

"You're so dumb." But I laughed.

"I know. Now go to sleep before I beat you, okay? You can't keep doing this."

Where the heck did AJ learn to sound so convincing?

"Nothing's gonna happen on the bus. Okay? C'mon." He stood up and grabbed my arm, pulling me in front of him and giving me a push through the door to the bunks. "Go to bed."

"Thanks, AJ," I started.

"Just get some sleep for once and I'll be happy."

I would be too.

-

"Nick." I heard her voice before I saw her. I stopped and stared. How did she find me? How on earth did she track me down? I thought this was over . . .

"Don't look so scared, kid. You know I'm on your side.. Relax . . ."

Relax, relax. I could do that.

"Do you have the key?"

"What?" I stared at her, feeling the frown cross over my face. "The police, they-"

"Didn't you know, Nick?" she interrupted.

"Know what?" A strange feeling passed down from my head to my toes, washing over me. Washing away my hope. Something began to dawn on me. "Know what?" I repeated. Her face was getting blurry.

"Know that . . . Know that . . ." Her face was contorted. Spinning. Her voice was different. I couldn't see her clearly. I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus in, but it was no longer KC's face in front of me. "Know that this is my game," the new voice growled.

I screamed.

"You thought you won, didn't you?" Sean continued in a sneer. He grabbed my arms in his iron hands. "Now we play by my rules . . . Nick . . . my rules . . ."

I kept screaming. Why wasn't anybody coming? I thought the game was over . . .

"Nick!"

The hands weren't as rough now, but they were shaking me. He was calling my name. I tried to pull away. I had to get away. Had to escape. I couldn't breathe.

"Nick! Wake up!"

My eyes flew open and I gasped for air. I was having trouble catching my breath. Something was tangled around me, a blanket. Just a blanket.

Brian and Kevin were in front of me, with worried looks on their faces. Brian was holding on to my arm. I was lying on a couch. I didn't know where. The hotel? Yeah, we were at the hotel now.

"Nick . . ."

"Huh?" I focussed on Brian's face. It was just a dream, just a dream. Only a dream. It wasn't true. It was over. Done with.

"Nick, you okay?" Brian wouldn't let go off my arm.

"Uh huh. Fine. I'm fine." I started to push the blanket off of me, sitting up slowly with my feet on the floor. Brian let go off my arm and took a step back, studying my face. I stared back blankly. What was wrong?

"Nick," Kevin started. I glanced up at him. "Nicky, we've been thinking . . ."

"About what?"

"About . . ." Kevin trailed off and rubbed his forehead tiredly, dropping onto the couch next to me. He looked more tired than I felt. "About . . . what's going on with you, Fracks."

"What's going on with me?" I repeated. Was I missing a key piece of information here? What was going on with me?

"We think it might be a good idea if you . . . called that number they gave us back at the station," Kevin finally said. I stared at him. "You know, so-"

I stared at him incredulously. "I'm not crazy!"

"Nobody said you were crazy, pal, we just thought if you had somebody to talk to-"

"I have you! I've got you guys, I can talk to you guys if I wanna talk." I stared at them. "You think I'm crazy? You think I need a shrink?"

"Nicky, we just thought you might need somebody to talk to," Brian said softly. Cautiously. "To stop the nightmares you're having over what happened . . ."

"The dream wasn't even about what had happened!" I lied desperately. "It was about . . . dogs!" I rubbed my forehead. "I'm not crazy . . ."

"We know that, Nick, we just thought you'd want to talk with somebody."

"I don't. I'm fine. Please, don't make me . . . I swear I'll never have another bad dream about it again."

"You can't promise that, baby. But nobody's gonna make you see someone if you don't want to," Kevin promised. "It's up to you."

"Okay," I answered. Then my decision was no.

Brian pulled up from where he had planted himself on the coffeetable and yawned as he squeezed in on the couch next to me and Kevin, rubbing his eyes to try and stay awake. He finally gave up and dropped his head heavily on Kevin's shoulder, who gave him an amused smile.

I frowned. "What time is it?"

"A little after two in the morning," Kevin answered.

I immediately felt bad for waking them up with my nightmare. "You can go back to bed, I'm fine. Really. Sorry for waking you up."

"Don't be," came Kevin's answer. "Why don't you try your bed now. We only let you stay there because you conked out early, but now that you're up . . ." He stood up and Brian fell over sideways. "C'mon."

Brian and I tiredly pulled ourselves off the couch and made it to our room. I headed directly to the double bed farthest from the window, collapsing on top of the comforter. I didn't care. Brian plopped down on the other side.

"I'll protect you," he mumbled into my other pillow. I smiled.

Kevin paused in the doorway. "Nick, you gonna be okay?"

"Brian's protecting me," I answered, not saying whether or not I would be. I didn't know. Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Big toughguy he is too," he replied. Brian mumbled some response into the bed and I smirked at Kevin. "Good night, guys. Nick, think about it."

I didn't answer.

-

Chapter 36

The days went by pretty quickly after that. I don't know if it was the idea of seeing professional help that scared me into trying to convince everyone that I was coping fantastically, but either way that's what I was doing. Smiling for everyone, doing the shows, putting on a false front.

Days flew by, nights felt like eternities. As much as I tried to convince myself it wasn't possible, every attempt at sleep brought another scenario with a free Sean coming back for revenge. I was losing so much sleep that I was starting to doze off during the day. The bad dreams clung to me at night, but during the day it was different . . .

"Nick!"

Hands clapping in my face.

"Nick, earth to Nick?"

"Huh?" I jerked my head up; I was awake. "What, AJ?"

"Break's over. C'mon, we gotta get back to rehearsal."

"Already?" We'd only stopped a minute ago, hadn't we? "What time is it?"

"Time to go to work," came the answer. He grabbed my arm and started to pull me up from my position on the floor. I'd been using my backpack as a pillow to try and catch up on a little rest. Okay, a lot.

"He sleeping?" I heard Kevin ask. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and pulled myself up into a sitting position as AJ let go of my arm, vaguely seeing the other guysgetting ready to practice one of our routines across the wooden studio floor . Looking at them zapped even more of my energy.

"Yeah," AJ started.

"Okay, let him be, c'mon."

What?

"But Kev we're in Europe next month," AJ argued, shaking his head. "We gotta get the new routines down before-"

"It's alright, it'll be fine. You c'mon. Nick, go back to sleep."

I stared at him dumbly.

"Sleep," he repeated, grabbing AJ. "You gotta sleep sometime."

Alright. I wasn't arguing with that.

-

I was extremely grateful to the guys through all this. They'd been behind me the whole way, and even now they kept trying to convince me that things were looking up. That things would be okay. That I would be okay. They covered for me to make it up to everyone else, they made excuses for me, they rearranged schedules for me.

I thought that they would want to simply kill me after everything I had brought upon us. But somehow they seemed to almost understand. Most of the time anyway.

It was the last few days on the road before we would be taking a two week break and then heading out into Europe for our tour over there. I was ready for the break more than anything. I just wanted to forget. I was hoping my family would make that happen for me.

"Nick! Get your butt in here!"

"What?" I came near the guys in the main room of the hotel to find them in front of the TV watching something. I frowned as Howie pulled me down to sit next to him on the couch. "What?"

"Watch."

I turned my attention on the TV and listened to the woman newscaster's words as the screen showed a familiar mugshot and then flashed to a scene in front of a courthouse.

' The ongoing trial of notorious Shotgun Sean came to a close yesterday evening. Outside the County Courthouse, we were able to get a word out of Judge Gordon on the outcome of the case, where he stated, "the trial was quick and decisive as a result of the numerous offenses of Sean in previous years. The decision was unanimous among court members". That decision is the sentence of a lifetime in jail for the highly publicized felon and murderer. A tentative death sentence is still under debate ...'

"So it's over?" I ran a hand over my face and let out a breath as the news coverage switched to another story. Was it real this time? "He's gone?"

"It's over." Brian grinned at me.

AJ laughed and hit my arm. "Now you just gotta learn all those routines . . ."

Shoot. Talk about pressure.

-

THE END