Fix It

Chapter 1
“Alexander James!” I yelled down stairs to the basement. “WHAT!” He yelled back. “You need to come up and deal with your daughter. She’s calling for you!” “I’m kind of in the middle of something. Why don’t you see what she wants!” I was getting so upset with yelling that it was starting to make my throat hurt. So I headed down. “Because she wants you. Why won’t you spend some time with her before you leave in two days?” I said then asked as I sat down on the couch behind him. “I need to get this done.” He said crumbling up some papers and throwing it out. “You never have time anymore. Even before your last album and now with your solo career taking affect. You just don’t acknowledge us. Hanna wants to spend time with you. I want you to spend nights with me. I miss you. Hell Hanna misses you! Why can’t you understand that?!” “Ally I’m sorry I just can’t right now. I should have more time when the tour is over.” I stood back up and headed back to the door. I then crossed my arms. “I can’t do this anymore. Maybe I can’t wait until this tour is over.”

I wiped my eyes of the tears that were falling. “What are you saying?” He asked turning around. “I don’t think Hanna and I are going to be here when you get back.” I whispered. “Ally, you’re my wife. You can’t do this!” I shot back around and looked at him. “Your wife?! Your wife?! Alex when was the last time you treated me like your wife? Or when was the last time you treated Hanna as your daughter? I’ve been behind you through your good times and you’re bad. Hell I’ve even been through your hellish times! Most women would have left you with all the drugs and alcohol. I stayed because I loved you. I stayed because I knew you could change. Because you did change. I didn’t want to loose you then and I...” I paused. “Alex, Hanna’s been up in her room crying because you don’t even want to look at her! That little girl is scared to death that her own father is disappointed in her for some reason. What has she ever done to make her so upset? Why can’t you spend just a few minutes with her?” I yelled. I didn’t get a response so I just shook my head then turned back around. “Because Hanna’s dying.” I froze then turned back around. “What?” “She’s dying.” “No. This can’t be happening.” I said as tears started falling harder. “How do you know?” “Dr. Kane called the other day. She said that her cancer is back and is spreading faster.” He said standing up and walking over to me. “My babies dying? No this isn’t right. This isn’t fair.” I said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t touch me!” I said batting him away. “Ally.” “No. I...I’ve got to get out of her.” I said running up the stairs.

I ran to my car and just took off. I was thinking of going over to Nicks but thought better. I needed to talk to someone who knew what I’m going through. Nick also was a bad choice. Especially sense I hadn’t seen or talked to him in years. That’s when I turned around and headed into the other direction. When I pulled into the driveway I slowly walked up to the porch and rang the bell. I was pacing back and forth when the door opened. “Hey Ally.” “Kevin I don’t know what to do.” I cried as I fell into his arms. “Here let me get you inside.” He said walking me into the living room to sit. “What’s going on?” “It’s Hanna.” I started as he handed me a tissue. “I just found out that my little girl is dying of cancer.” “How and when did you find out?” “Alex just told me today. God I’m so mad with him right now! I just couldn’t believe he could keep something like this from me. What did he think she would automatically get better and I didn’t have to find out? I raised that little girl. I was there for her!” I started to cry again. “Ally I know you were.” He said in a calm tone. “Where was he when she took her first step? Or...when she got a booboo? Hell where the fuck was he when she was diagnosed with Leukemia?” I fell into his chest and just cried. “Kevin I can’t deal with this anymore. I can’t just have him leave with all of this going on. I can’t do this alone. I’m scared.”

As we where talking Kristin came in carrying the baby. She sat down across from us. She had a confused look on her face. So Kevin got up and sat down next to her to explain. “Oh my gosh.” She said covering her mouth with her free hand. Then she looked over at me. “Allison if you need anything I want you to call me okay?” I nodded my head. “I know. Thank you.” “When does AJ leave for his solo tour?” Kevin asked looking back at me. “In two days.” “Well we’ll need him to postpone it for a while.” “I don’t think he will. With what’s goin’ on right now.” I said. “I’ll go call Brian and Howie. They’ll need to catch a flight out here soon.” Kristin said getting up.

Kevin walked back over to me and sat back down. “When was the last time you talked to Nick?” I crunched up my nose. “Not sense the wedding.” “Baby that was four and a half years ago. You need him back in your life. He was your best friend. What happened?” “I don’t want to talk about.” I whispered. “We need to talk about it. If we’re all going to be here for you and Alex you need Nick as well.” “ I know. But...” I sighed. “Okay.”

(Flashback)
It was the day of my wedding. I was in the bridal room finishing up. “Look at you. You look beautiful.” Denise said smiling. “Thank you. Have you seen Alex?” “Well the last I saw of him he was so nervous. He was out back chain smoking.” “I hope he doesn’t freak out.” I said fixing my vail. “Now why would he do that? Alex loves you. He wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t.” She said as she was hooking my necklace. “I know he love me. It’s just what I’m gonna have to say to him afterwards.” “What’s that dear?” I turned and looked at her. “That I’m pregnant.” Once I said that Denise broke into a huge grin. Then she wrapped her arms around me. “Believe me. He’ll be ecstatic.”

After talking with Denise for a while there was a light knock on the door. Denise answered it. “Nick what can we do for you?” “May I have a moment with Ally please?” She looked back at me. “Is it okay?” She asked. “Sure.” I said. “I’ll see you soon.” She said closing the door as she left the room. “Hey Nick. What’s goin’ on?” “You can’t do this.” “What’s that?” I asked turning around to look at him. “You can’t marry AJ.” “What are you talking about?” “I know this isn’t the appropriate time to be saying this,” He started walking closer to me. “But I can’t keep this from you any longer.” He now had placed both his hands on my arms. “Nick what’s going on? Why are you acting like this?” I asked confused. “It’s because of this.” That’s when he pulled me to him and placed his lips to mine in a hot and heavy kiss. “What the hell are you doing?!” I said pushing him away. “Ally I love you. I think I always have.” “Why are you now tellin’ me this?” “I don’t know. I guess I was just afraid of how you would react.” “Like now?” I paused. “You’ve been my best friend for most my life. I’m about to walk down the isle. What you just did, cannot and will not ever happen again!” “But Ally?” “NO! I want you to leave. I don’t want you here anymore.” “Fine. I’m goin’.” He said as he reached for the knob. “Oh one more thing.” He turned back around. “I want you to say away from me.” “What?” He said with hurt in his voice. “That’s what I said. Our friendship... History. Because I can’t trust you to not do what you did again. So what we did have, it’s no longer there.” I said turning back around. That’s when I heard the door open. “I’m sorry Ally.” Then the door closed and Nick was out of my life. (End of Flashback)

“Did you ever tell anybody about what happened?” “No.” “So his feeling for you was the whole reason you never came on tour with us?” I nodded my head. “I don’t know what to say.” “I just can’t deal with the idea of him still feeling the same if he saw me now.” “Well I can tell you this. After all these years, I’ve never seen or heard him ever talk about you like that. Maybe he’s changed for the better.” “I do hope so.” I sat there a moment. “Kevin.” I started as he looked up at me. “I do miss him in my life.” “I’m sure he misses you too. Why don’t I drive you over there so you can talk to him?” “Will you do that for me?” “Ally I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure. You need all the support you can get and having your best friend there... You need that. For the sake of Hanna.”

Kevin ran up stairs to let Kristin know what was going on, then he came back down and we took off. “Kris said that if AJ calls that she’d let us know.” He said while we were on the road. I nodded my head. The twenty-minute ride to Nick’s was quite. I really didn’t have anything else to say so I just paid attention to the scenery around us. Once we pulled into the driveway I started to get nervous. I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. Even after almost five years of not speaking. I can agree that I do miss him but I haven’t spoken or even seen him so I don’t even know what he even looks like now. I was terrified to death. “Are you ready to go do this?” I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Okay, let’s go do this.” I said getting out of the car.

Chapter 2
I stood behind Kevin as he rang the bell. “Come on. He’ll want to see you first.” He said trying to step out of the way. “No, no you’re fine.” I said as the door opened. “Hey Kev. Waz’ up?” “Do you mind if we come in?” “Yeah sure.” Nick said with a confused look on his face. Kevin grabbed my hand and we walked in. “Where can we talk?” Kevin asked. “Umm... back porch?” He said grabbing a clean shirt and putting it on. I just gave him a grin as he walked by me. “Hey Allison, how have you been doing?” He asked as he sat down on a chair across from me. “I’ve been better I guess. You’ve lost weight.” “Yeah well, I was gettin’ kind of chucky.” He said patting his stomach. “No you weren’t. You looked fine.” I said trying to be polite. “You’re just sayin’ that to be nice.” I shock my head. “No. I mean it.” “Allison, why did Kevin bring you here now after almost five years?” “Because...” “The truth Ally.” “Hanna.” I said in a whisper. “What about her?” “Her Cancers back and it’s spread.” “Why’a tellin’ me? Shouldn’t you be takin’ to AJ about this?” “I walked out on him.” I said starting to cry. “I’m sorry. What do you want me to do?” “Help. Support us. Not with money or anything just be there for us.” “What about the others?” “Kristin was going to call Howie and Brian to let them know so hopefully they’ll be out sometime tomorrow.” “How’s AJ takin’ it?” “Not the way I was expecting. He’s leaving for his tour in two days and he’s avoiding...” I just broke down and cried in to my hands. Nick came and sat down next to me. He then placed his hand on my back. “I’ll do whatever it takes to get him to postpone his tour.” I looked up at him. “Thank you.”

Kevin sat there a moment before he said anything. “Nick I want to hear your side of this story.” Kevin asked turning to look at the young man. Nick got a worried look on his face then looked at me before responding. “Truth Nick.” I said looking at him. “I know.” He said looking back at me then to Kevin. “You know that Ally and I grew up together.” “Yeah, I know.” “Well... as we started to get older my feelin’s for her also grew. I knew that she was in love with Jay so I backed off.” “Tell him about the wedding? Tell him why you weren’t there when you were supposed to stand next to him up front with the groomsmen?” “Nick what did you really do?” Kevin asked. “I-I...” “Tell him!” I yelled. That’s when he looked at me. “Did you tell Jay?” Now I was without words. “So five years of your marriage have been lies!” “Lies? Nick, I never lied to Alex about anything. I just never told him what you did.” “So you did feel something when I...” “What?” Kevin said getting confused. “I kissed her in the bridle hall.” “I don’t believe you could go and do something like that. When you knew damn well how she felt!” Kevin said getting upset. “What?!” “Five years Nick! If she loved you then she wouldn’t have married AJ or asked you to say away from her.” “But I did stay away! She did marry AJ! She also had his baby. How could I compete with that?” Then he looked over at me. “Are you truly happy with your marriage?” “I-I am.” “Are you sure?” “I haven’t been more surer. I love Alex. He’s my life.” “What would happen if he weren’t there for you or Hanna right now?” “Right now?” He nodded his head. “Well, I’d fall apart. I wouldn’t know how to deal with...” “Losing Hanna.” Nick added. “Yeah.” I said grabbing another tissue from Kevin.

I sat there crying at the thought of not having either Alex or Hanna in my life. “I just think... I don’t know. I guess... I feel that once I lose Hanna I’m gonna lose Alex. I can’t deal with that.” I said. “Is that what you think?” Someone said from the doorway. I looked up to see four extra bodies. I just broke down. “Baby, I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Alex said. “But I thought...?” “Aaron told me everything. How he knew...” “I told him what happened back then.” Nick said. AJ walked over to me and took a seat. “What about your tour?” “I think that the fans will understand. Right now you and Hanna are first and fore most my top priority.” He said placing his hand on my face. “You did that for... us?” I asked looking into his eyes. “I did. Baby I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting towards you the last few weeks. Or months. I was just scared that’s all. It had nothing to do with you.” Then he looked up and over at Nick and shook his head. “But you Nicky-Boy have some explainin’ to do!” Nick flashed him a cheesy grin. “Alex, it happened five years ago. Don’t take it so hard. Just stay calm and let him get a head start.” I said placing my hand on his leg. “Oh I’m calm. This is calm Alex. You really don’t want to see pissed off Alex. It won’t look pretty.” He said to me.

Then he turned back to Nick. “So all these years the whole reason she never came on tour was because of you? Dude I thought she was your best friend? How could you confess your true feelings at our wedding? Why? Why did you think having her standing in her wedding gown would change her mind on marrin’ me? You barged into the bridle room and kissed my fiancée but who is now my wife! You know what, I don’t want you anywhere near her!” “Alex.” “I also want you to stay away from my family.” “ALEX!” I yelled. “What?!” He yelled back. I closed my eyes and held back my tears. “Baby I’m sorry. What do you want to say?” “I want... I wanted him back in my life.” I whispered. “What?” “I don’t want him regretting not being in Hanna’s life. Also I miss having him around. I just... miss him.” “But he...” “Baby, it happened. We can’t change the past but we can fix the future. The now. Alex, Nick has never met his only niece. I want them to get to know each other. Like she knows the others.” I said walking over to AJ and laying my hand on his back. “I guess your right. You need to be happy. You just weren’t the same when he wasn’t around.” He said turning around to face me. “Is Hanna here?” I whispered into his ear. He just nodded his head. “Good. She can meet Crazy Uncle Nicky.” “But I thought I was the Crazy Uncle?” Brian said. “You are crazy. She can have two crazy uncles.” “Crazy Uncles Frick and Frack.” AJ joked. I looked back at him then placed a kiss on his cheek before pulling away. I walked over to Nick and placed my hand in his. “Let’s go meet Hanna.” I said smiling at him. “She’s in the game room with Kristin, Mason, Leigh, Leighanne and Baylee.” Howie said. “Wow the whole gangs here!” I said. “And again I’m the third wheel.” Nick said.

Nick and I quietly walked down the hall to find the others. I took a deep breath before opening the door. Once in the room everyone look like they were having a good time. Hanna was playing a game with Baylee and Leighanne while Kristin was holding Mason and talking to Leigh. “Mommy!” Hanna said with a gleam in her eyes. “Hey, baby.” I said going down to her eye level and giving her a hug. “Where did you go? Daddy started yelling and throwing things after you left. He was saying a lot of bad words.” “I’m sorry sweetheart. Mama needed to go talk to Uncle Kevin about some things.” “Are you and daddy breaking up?” She asked with worry in her tone. “Where did you get an idea like that?” “Baylee.” She said pointing to him. “Baylee Thomas!” Leighanne snapped. “Sorry mommy.” He said apologetically. “It’s okay Leighanne; they’re still young.” I said as she smiled back.

I looked up at Nick and he looked nervous. “Baby, I’d like you to meet someone.” I said grabbing Nicks hand. Hanna looked up at the tall man standing in front of her. “Who is he mommy?” “This is another one of your uncles. This is you Uncle Nick. Can you say hi?” “Hi.” She said shyly. “Hey, there cutie.” He said with a smile. Hanna smiled back. Then she grabbed his wrist and pulled. Nick glanced over at me. I just smiled and told him it was okay. So he got down on the floor to sit. I headed over to the couch with the others and just watched them. Hanna stood in front of him for a moment and just glared at him. “Is something the matter?” Nick asked. “You look like that blonde one from my picture.” She said. Nick looked over at me then back at Hanna. “Can you smile?” Nick couldn’t help but chuckle. “You are the one with my other uncles and daddy.” He just nodded. “How come mommy never told me about you?” Nick sat there a moment before answering. Then he looked over at me again for guidance. I nodded my head then whispered that it was okay.

Nick didn’t know how to tell a child about our past. “I did something bad to your mommy a long time ago.” “What did you do to her?” “I...I fell in love with her.” “Why is that bad? I thought love was good?” “Love is good. Like your mommy loves your daddy. But the love I had was good until...” I had to cut him off. “What I believe Uncle Nick is trying to say is. He showed his at a bad time.” “Do you love Uncle Nick mommy?” She asked looking at me. I got down on the floor across from Nick before continuing. “I do love Uncle Nick but not in the same way that he does or did.” I said looking over at him. “He was my best friend growing up. When he did that bad thing it scared mommy. He just chose the wrong time and place to let me know how he felt.” “Where was that?” “The day your mommy and daddy got married.” Nick said. “Ally I am so sorry.” He said choking back tears. I placed my hand on his cheek and wiped a few tears away with my thumb. “Nick I do love you, but your my best friend and that’s all that it’ll ever be. And I’m sorry.” He nodded his head. “I know.” “I don’t wanna loose you. I need you in my life along with Alex and the others.”

Chapter 3
That’s when Hanna climbed into Nicks lap and placed her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. He got up and I followed him into the spare bedroom and laid her down carefully. Then he closed the door after leaving. “I can’t believe she’s...” “Nick don’t. I don’t wanna think about it.” “Just one question then?” I nodded. “How long?” I shock my head and tried to bring up my voice. “About six months to a year.” Alex said from the doorway. “I’m sorry.” He said. I just broke down and cried into my hands. I just went weak and collapsed into a heap on the floor. Alex got down and wrapped his arms around me and just let me cry. Nick just stood there and was about to leave. “Nick wait.” Alex said while grabbing his hand. “She needs you too.”

He stood there a second then he came and sat down beside me. He looked like he didn’t know what to do. I sat up and put my hand out for him. “Nick.” I said biting my bottom lip. He studied it a moment then entwined his fingers with mine. Alex wrapped his arms around me again as I closed my eyes and Nick moved over closer to us. That’s when I felt warm tears fall and hit my cheek and hand. Both Nick and Alex were crying. It touched me to the core that these two who I love were crying. Now I had just wished that Kevin, Brian and Howie were all here to share this moment with me.

We had been gone quite awhile. I just felt so comfortable. “Hey what’s...” Kevin stopped in mid-sentence. I looked over Alex’s shoulder to see him standing there with the other two. “Is everything okay?” Brian asked looking kind of confused. Nick shook his head no. “Don’t asked questions, just get your asses down here and give Ally some lovin’.” Alex said as I just gave a huge sigh. Kevin got down and sat on the other side of Alex; Howie sat behind him while Brian sat behind me. We all had our arms around each other tightly. I was now feeling the love from everyone. I was still crying but I was also feeling happy at the same time. This is what I wanted. Not just the thought of loosing my daughter but having these five brothers here with me. “God I feel like a hamburger.” Alex managed to say. I scuffled a laugh. “Are you hungry?” Brian asked. “No I just feel like a hamburger, the way we’re all smashed together like this.” He said wiggling a bit. “Do you want to get up?” I asked looking up at him. “No, not unless you do.” He said looking back at me. “I’m fine. I like this. All of you being here with me right now.” “We’ll always be here for you Ally.” Nick said smiling. “I know, and thank you.”

That’s when I felt Brian move a bit. “Brian, it’s okay. I know it’ll be difficult for you. You too Howie.” “But we all need to be here for you.” Brian said feeling bad. I pushed back from Alex and laid my head back onto Brian. “It’s understandable. I know you’ve got your priorities back in Atlanta. I’ve got the other three here.” “But we need to be here for you right now.” Howie said moving from behind Alex. “D, you are here for me now. I’m grateful for this time with you guys. I also know you have your own lives to live. Hanna being sick shouldn’t stop you from being who you are.” “But Ally what about you?” Alex asked. I leaned forward and placed my hand on his cheek. “That’s why I’ve got you.” I whispered. That’s when his facial expression changed. “But I can’t always be there. What if she gets really sick while I’m on tour? While we’re on tour?” “But you all won’t be.” That’s when he looked at me oddly. “I’ve still got Kevin’s support.” I said smiling over at Kevin. “Duh, that’s right. I’ll still be around.” That got a laugh out of everyone.

That’s when I looked over and saw that Nick had stopped laughing. “Nick.” When I didn’t get a response I thought I’d try again. “Nick what’s wrong?” I asked placing my hand on his knee. He looked at me then just got up. Then he walked out of the room. “Guys I need to get up.” “Ally do you know what’s goin’ on?” Alex asked as I stood up. “No but I’m gonna find out.” I said walking out of the room to find Nick. It didn’t take me long to find him standing out back smoking. “I thought you would’ve quit.” I said standing at the door. “I tried. But failed.” I gave a small laugh at that. “Is there something you want Ally? I came out here to be alone.” I walked over and stood next to him. “Nicky, what’s wrong?” “Don’t call me...!” I pulled back. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.” I said heading back to the door. “Ally wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you about that. It’s just I get so sick and tired of everyone thinking that I like being called Nicky. It’s always ‘Nicky grow up, Nicky pick up your damn XBox, Nicky if you’re late for one more practice... Oh and I see that you’re getting a little pudgy around the gut there Nicky-Boy. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky! Can’t they just call me Nick?” He said turning from me. I looked at him then I moved back closer. Laying my hand on his back he jumped a bit and sighed. “Nick, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” I said looking at him. That’s when I saw it. He was crying. Not the type of crying were you did something stupid and you knew you were in deep shit. But crying and it just came in buckets.

I didn’t know what to do or even say. “Nick, please talk to me. What’s going on? Why are you crying? We’re alone, so you can tell me anything.” He took the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his eyes. “Ally I can’t.” “Why? Why can’t you talk to me?” “Because I don’t want to loose you again if I tell you. I also don’t wanna loose my brothers if I tell you.” I shook my head not understand what he was getting at. “You have to tell me.” “If I tell you this, you have to promise me that you won’t be mad. At me or this other person.” “Okay.” He took a moment to collect his thoughts. “You know when Hanna was diagnosed with Leukemia she was gonna need a blood transfusion?” I nodded my head. “I had Alex call everyone he knew to be tested. But what are you gettin’ at?” “I was one of them who got tested. I was her blood type.” “I don’t understand why are you tellin’ me this?” He turned from me so he wasn’t looking at me. “Do you remember three months before you got married?” “I remember. Alex and I got into a fight about it. I told him I loved him and that I was sorry for what I had done. I also promised him that it only happened once that it would NEVER happen again.” I walked over to him and placed my hand on his arm. “I kept that promise to him.”

Nick moved from next to me to the back steps. Then he stopped. “Ally. The day you got married, how far along were you in your pregnancy?” I thought for a second. “I don’t know. Three...” I stopped in mid-sentence. “No, that can’t be. Nick we were safe. How is that possible?” I started pacing. I was also rubbing my temple with my fingers trying to get my mind right. “This can’t be... No... But Alex... we...” That’s when I stopped and looked at him. “Five years, Nick!” “I know.” “It’s been five frickin’ years!” “I know.” “Why are you tellin’ me this? How in the hell am I gonna explain this to Alex? That the one thing he cares for... isn’t his!” I said sitting down. “Then don’t.” He walked over to me and sat. “Alex is her father. Because he’s the one who raised her. Not me. He was there for every little thing. I wasn’t.” “Nicky.” “Have you ever noticed the blue tint in her eyes or how straight her hair was?” “I just thought her eyes were still changing.” I said as I let my tears fall. “I...” That’s when he reached over and placed his hand on me I got up. I walked over to the back steps and crossed my arms. Nick got up, walked over to me and turned me to face him. He then brushed a few stray tears away with his thumb. “I... I have to tell him.” I said in a whisper. He nodded. “I know you do.” He whispered back. “Ally... I wanted too...” “Nicky don’t. Please.” I said trying to look away. He took his thumb and index finger and placed it under my chin for me to look at him. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you then...” “Nicky, I said don’t.” “I can fix it?” “No. I don’t want him hating you also.” “But he will once you tell him.” That’s when I felt his arms wrap around me.

I wanted so badly for him to just let me go but I was hurting too much to push him away. “Ally.” He said as I felt his warm breath hit my skin. “Please Nicky don’t. I can’t do this. Not again. I promised.” I said able to place my hands on his chest. “Please.” “Not with you.” I was able to move from his grip and sit back down. “I love Alex. He’s my husband.” “But do you love him?” “With all my heart.” He just stood there. “But the fights and the arguing?” “That doesn’t mean I’d love him less. I could never leave him. Besides this I’ve been keeping something from him.” Nick tilted his head. “May I ask?” “I’m pregnant. And yes this baby is his! That I know for a fact!” I said as I hard a thump back in the house.

Chapter 4
I looked back to see that Alex had fallen. “Alex?” I said rushing to the door. “When did this happen?” He asked in shock as he stood back up. “You were there when it happened.” “But how? I’ve hardly been around.” He asked looking into my eyes. “Almost two months ago.” “You’re tellin’ me you’re about a month and a half along? Wow, I don’t know what to say.” He said cracking into a smile. “I am sorry for not telling you sooner. I just wanted to wait to make sure that I was before tellin’ you.” That’s when I pulled out of his grasp and turned away form him.

At that moment I wasn’t too happy. I was starting to feel bad about having to tell him the truth but I just didn’t know how too. “Ally, what’s wrong?” He asked looking at me curiously. I didn’t answer him. I just headed upstairs and headed out on to the back deck. He followed me up. While standing there looking out I started crying. “Ally baby, is something going on with you?” He asked as I wiped my eyes. “Alex... there is something.” “What is it?” He asked placing his hand on my back. “It’s about... Hanna.” “What about her?” I just broke down before telling him. “She’s... she’s...” “What? She’s what?” I pulled away from him before I told him. “Hanna’s not yours.” I said walking away. “WHAT!!” He said shocked. “But how is that possible?” “Do you recall our breaking up before we got married?” “I do. I told you that I was sorry. It was right before I went into rehab.” “I know. Baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she wasn’t yours until today. I swear to you my life.” Then there was a silent moment between the both of us. “Would this have anything to do with Nick? Was it because you had slept with him back then?” I nodded my head ‘yes’. “Are you sure? She looks nothing like him. She’s got all our features.” “Her eyes and her straight hair.” I managed to say.

He walked away and sat down on the couch. “How did this all happen? Why did it happen? Why Nick?” I came and sat down next to him. “It was during the time you cheated on me with that girl from AA. That’s when I left you. How it happened was I was at the bar and ran into Nick there. I was drinking my pain away like how you used too.” I said getting upset. “That’s not fair.” He said looking up at me. “I’m sorry that was rude of me. I shouldn’t have said that.” I said apologizing. “Anyways some how Nick ended up taking me back to my hotel.” “But how did you end up sleeping together?” “Well, I guess I had a bit too much to drink and I told him that I didn’t want to be left alone.” “So he seduced you?” I shock my head ‘no’. “I did. I seduced him.” “Allison he’s your best friend. How could you have done something...” That’s when he stopped himself. “Me... You’ve seen my past. How I would get drunk off my ass, find an attractive lady and seduce her.” That’s when he looked over at me. “Ally I’m the one who should apologize to you. If we hadn’t fallen in love you wouldn’t have picked up any of my bad habits. I’m sorry.”

While sitting there a while I started twisting my wedding band. When he wasn’t looking I removed my ring. Holding it in the palm of my hand I clinched it real tightly then I stood up. I moved to stand in front of him. Reaching down I lifted up his hand as he looked up at me. I gave him a weak smile before placing my wedding band in the palm of his hand. “What are you doing?” He asked baffled. “Giving you back what I don’t deserve. I don’t feel I’m fit to be your wife anymore.” “But the baby and Hanna. Think about Hanna.” He said as I saw a tear fall. “I have. Alex don’t get me wrong, Hanna is your daughter. I’m not taking her away from who she calls daddy.” Then I placed my hands on my belly. “This baby... This baby will also be yours no matter what. I just believe you could do better than me.” “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that? Ally I love you. I’ve always loved you. Through our good times and our bad times. Right now I love you even more.” He said taking my hands. “I don’t want you to leave me. Please I’m begging you. Don’t do this to us. Please. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without you.” “I love you too. I just... need some time.” “How long?” “I don’t know.” “Will I need my attorney to file for legal separation?” “No. I don’t want that.” “Divorce?!” Alex snapped as he let go of my hands “No! Alex I just need some time away. Clear my head that’s all.” I said placing my hand on his face. “No legal separation. No divorce. Just time.” He nodded his head in agreement. “Do you want me to leave so you can stay at the house?” I pulled my hand away and walked back over to the sliding door. “No, I’m gonna go.” He got up and wrapped his arms around me. “Alex.” “Not yet.” He whispered. Then he turned me around. Looking him straight in the eyes I tried looking away. Placing his fingers under my chin he forced me to look at him. “Alex don’t, please. I need to go.” “Kiss me.” “What?” “Just kiss me.” “Alex.” “Please. Before you leave me.” He whispered as his tears fell.

Slowly I felt his lips brush across my skin. “Oh Alex.” I moaned. I could feel the heat radiating off our bodies. He pulled me even closer to him. I could feel him grinding into my hip as I allowed him to enter my mouth with his tongue. I ran my fingers through his hair as his hands started roaming across my body. His hands caressed every inch of me giving me goose bumps. That’s when I had to stop him. “I need to go.” I whispered pushing away from him. “No, please.” I stepped back. “Don’t beg. It’ll just make it harder for us.” “But where will you go?” “I don’t know yet. I won’t know until I get there.” “Will you call us to let us know where you are?” “I’ll call only to ask how Hanna is doing. That’s all. You also have my cell number. Only call me if something happens. Don’t just call. Okay?” “Yeah.” I headed down to the front door and walked out to my car. Alex stood there watching me. “I love you Ally.” “I know. I love you too.” I said as I got into the car and was gone.

(Five months later)
I’m now going into my sixth month and things for me have been difficult. I’ve kept in contact with the other guys to see how Alex has been. Seems like he’s been doing okay the way they’ve explained it. Kevin called me just the other day to say Alex locked himself in his room. Nobody knew about it until Hanna called him. She’s starting to worry about her daddy. Truth has it... so do I. It has been awhile from the last time we talked. I think it’s time for me go back.

I went into my room to get dressed and then headed out to my car. It took me a good hour and a half to get to the house. When I pulled into the driveway I sat in my car. I don’t know what to say when I see him. I took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Then I got out and headed up to the door. Once in the house it was a nightmare. Nothing was picked up. Seems like these last few months he’s just given up on everything. The place was a mess and it was very quite. Too quite. I carefully strolled up the stairs to the master bedroom. I found the door close. Which was very odd so I slowly opened it just a bit to look in. He was lying on the bed sleeping. So I walked over to the edge and sat down. He shifted just a bit but didn’t wake. I then rubbed my hand across his back. “Alex, baby.” I whispered. He shifted again and then rolled back over. Slowly he finally opened his eyes. “Hi.” I whispered. “You came back?” “Yeah, I’m back.” “Are you staying? You aren’t gonna leave again are you?” I shook my head. “No. I’m staying.” That’s when I saw him cry. Seeing him cry got me crying as well. “Alex...” “Don’t. Don’t say it. I’m sorry too.” He said while sitting up.

He moves over to sit next to me. As he looked down he placed his hand on my belly. I placed mine on his then smiled at him. “How are you?” I asked. “I’m just... scared.” He said removing his hand. I turned to face him. Placing my hands on his face I turned him to look at me. “I’m scared too. But I believe we can do this. Together.” “I... Ally... I...” “I love you Alex. I want this marriage to work. For this baby and for the remaining time... Alex where is Hanna?” I said then asked. “She’s been staying with Nick.” “Why? What’s goin’ on?” I asked worried. “I thought with you being gone. She might want to get to know him. He is her father.” He said pulling away from me. “Alex no. You’re her father. You’ve been the one who took care of her all these years.” I said looking at him hurt. “I know. I just thought...” Then he turned his head to look over at me. “You’re not mad are you?” “No, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed that’s all. It’s okay.”

Chapter 5
We sat there a good while not saying anything so I stood up. “Where are you going?” He asked. “I’m just going to go call Nick then I’ll probably just go out back for a while.” I said standing by the bedroom door. “Would you like company out there?” He asked while placing his feet on the floor. “Give me some time to myself then you can come out.” “Are you sure?” He asked concerned. “Yeah.” I said walking back over to him. Taking him by the hands he stood up. “I love you.” I whispered while looking him in the eyes. “I love you too.” He whispered back as he leaned in to kiss me. I just turned my head away then I pulled back from him. “Ally?” “I’m sorry. Just give me some time to adjust. Take it slow for me.” I said looking him straight in the eyes. He just nodded his head.

I headed down to the kitchen and called Nick. It rang three times before he answered. “Yeah?” “What happened to hello?” I said with a smile. “Ally? That you?” “Yeah, hey Nick.” “It’s been awhile. How’ve you been?” “I’ve been... Okay I guess. How’s Hanna?” “She’s been better. She’s been having trouble sleeping with all the pain she’s been in. She misses her parents and keeps asking when she can go home. Can she? I think it would be better for her. I also think it would be better for both of you too.” I was silent for a minute. “Allison, are you still there?” “Yeah I’m still here.” “So what do you think, can she come home?” “Is she awake?” “Yeah.” “Okay, you can bring her home.” “I’d keep her here but...” “It’s okay Nicky, I understand. It difficult to deal with a sick child. I know.” “That’s why I think it’s best for you and AJ help her with this. Ally she’s so weak. She...” “We’ll talk more when you get here okay?” “Oh, okay. We’ll see you soon.” We both said good-bye then hung up. I then headed out to the back.

Before heading out back I went back into the kitchen to get myself a glass of iced tea. Walking to the sliding door I stopped and stood there a moment. I closed my eyes and laid my hand on my belly. After opening up my eyes I slid the door open and walked over to the couch to sit. I laid my glass down on the table then walked over to the patio window. I just stood there with my hands on my belly and wanted to just pray. So I did. “Hello god, it’s Ally... Allison sorry. I need your help. I don’t ask for much. I also don’t want much. Just one thing from you. My daughter Hanna. You know she’s got Leukemia and doesn’t have that long to live now. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for her, her last few months. I’m sorry for that. I hope you can forgive me. I love my little girl. I also know what I did to Alex was wrong. I know that too. I’ve been regretting it the past six months. Well to get to the point... I was hoping... when she...” This was starting to get harder for me to even talk about. Even to god I just couldn’t keep myself for breaking down. “I know my grandparents are with you. If you could. Have Grams and Gramps look after her for me. I know she’ll be in good hands with everyone and you.” I wiped my eyes before continuing. “I just wish... she... she didn’t have to leave me... us so soon. I love her. I always will. She’ll always be in my heart. Her father... both her fathers, love that child. Alex has been miserable and Nick, her birth father just started getting to know her. If you could please just give us some more time with her. I need more time with her.”

Just then I started cramping. Before I knew it I started getting light headed so I tried to walk back over to the couch. I had just made it when the pain worsen. “ALEX!” I yelled out in pain. He came flying down and found me out back. “Allison what’s wrong?” “I’m cramping. It really hurts.” He came and grabbed me and helped me up. “I’m taking you to the hospital.” I just nodded my head in agreement. When we got to the car that’s when it happened. “Alex.” “What’s wrong baby?” “I think my water just broke. I’m sorry.” I said looking over at him. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll wash out. I just need to get you to the hospital.” It took us a good five minutes to get there. Once we pulled into the entrance he jumped out of the car and ran around to help me out just as a nurse was wheeling out a chair. Then I was rushed up to Labor and Delivery.

After I had gotten settled in my bed I started to cry. “Ally what’s wrong?” Alex asked while trying to warm up my feet with his hands. “It’s too early to have the baby.” “But aren’t you in you third trimester?” “No, I’m only going into my sixth month.” “But you’re still in the safety. The baby should still be okay.” Before I could respond I got hit with a strong contraction. I did my breathing and closed my eyes really tight, as the pain was get sharper by the second. Then it stopped. “Are you okay?” I opened my eyes. “That just hurt. But I’m okay.” I said looked at him. “Do you want me to call the guys?” “Only if you...” Another sharp contraction. “Would you like something for the pain?” I just shock my head. “Are you sure you don’t want an epidural? “No, I can do this without med’s. I did it once I can do it again.” I said taking in a sharp intake. Closing my eyes my breathing started slowing. “Go call the fellas. I should be okay for a while.” I said opening my eyes. “Are you sure? Your contractions are getting close.” “I’m sure.” I said as my doctor walked in. “Good afternoon Allison. I’m Dr. Moore. Let’s see how much you’ve dilated.”

Alex came back and I took his hand as the doctor checked me out. “All right. You’re at nine centimeters. You should be fully dilated in about an hour.” He said placing the sheet back over me. “I’ll be back in an hour to check on you.” He said before leaving. “Dr. Moore.” Alex said following him out. “I’ll be right back baby.” “Kay.” I said.

(Alex)
Then the doctor turned around. “Yes.” “I was just concerned about Ally. Why is she in labor at six months?” “Well this isn’t uncommon for a woman to deliver this early with twins.” He said. “I see.” That’s when it hit me. “WHAT?! What are you talkin’ about? She never said anything about having twins?” “She never told you?” “We’ve been separated for five months until today. I just thought she was having one baby, not two.” He just smiled. “It’ll be difficult but I’m sure you can do it.” I just smirked. “Yeah I guess you’re right. Well I should go call the guys for her.” I said pulling my cell out of my pocket. “I’ll be back in an hour. The doctor said as he walked away and I headed into the waiting area.

I called Nick’s first but got no answer so I called Kevin next. I was about to hang up when he finally answered. “This is Kev.” “Hey Kevin.” “What’s wrong?” “Why do you think something's wrong? All I said was ‘hey Kevin’.” “Because all you said was ‘hey Kevin’. So what’s wrong?” “Okay. Um... well... Ally’s about to have the babies.” I said while waiting for his response. When I got nothing I thought he hung up. “Kev?” “Did you just say, babies?” “Yeah. Were having twins.” “Well, two for the price of one.” He said laughing. “What’s so funny?” “Just the thought of you having twins. I’m sorry.” He said trying to muffle his laughter. “Do you know what you’re having though?” “Yeah, two babies.” I joked back. “Doesn’t be an ass, you know what I meant.” “I know.” I laughed. “No I don’t know if they’ll be boys or girls. We’ll just have to wait. Oh shit I need to call the others.” I stopped to glance at my watch. “Damn it I still need to call Brian and Howie. I also need to call Nick.” “He called me to say he was heading over to your place to drop off Hanna.” “When was that?” “I don’t know... about fifteen, twenty minutes ago. He was just heading out the door.” “I just hope you know... Shit he won’t know!” I paused a moment. “Never mind. He knows that Ally is back.” “I hope you’re right. Well I’ll see you real soon. Oh, I’ll call Brian and Howie for you. You keep trying with Nick.” “Cool. I’ll see you soon.” I flipped my phone closed then headed back to Ally’s room.

Chapter 6
By the time Alex had gotten back my contractions were now every minute. The pressure of having two babies pressing on you bladder was unbearable. I was wanting to push. “Ally don’t push!” “I can’t help it. I’m trying so hard not to but my body is taking control.” I said through a contraction. “Can you relax?” I shot him the ‘if looks could kill’ look. I grabbed his hand and screamed bloody murder. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME!” I yelled just as Dr. Moore walked in. “You must be ready to deliver?” He asked as he put on his gloves. Then he placed my feet up in the stirrups. I grabbed Alex's hand and squeezed. “Okay Allison, go ahead and push as hard as you can.” I pushed so hard that I thought I popped a blood vessel. “Get these babies out of me now!” “Baby number one is crowning. Can you give me one big push?” I took in a huge breath, clamped my teeth together, closed my eyes and gave it all I had. “It’s a boy!” Dr. Moore said after the baby was out. “Alex would you like to cut the cord?” I let go of his hand. “You better hurry because I’m ready to push again!”

Alex went and took the scissors and sniped the cord. Then the nurse took the baby to clean him up. That’s when I started pushing again. “Ally you’re doing really well. Just a few more then you’re all done.” Alex said trying to sooth me. “FUCK YOU ALEX! You’re not the one pushing out two watermelons out of you vigina!” I cried. “Just stand there, shut up and look pretty! If you ever get me pregnant again you will be missing your boys!” I said grinding my teeth. Then I started to really push really hard. Harder then before. The baby was crowning but not leaving the birth canal. “Allison this baby seems a bit bigger so I’m going to have to cut you a bit so the head will slid out better. “Whatever! Just get it out!” Five minutes later I felt the baby slid right out. I felt fifty pounds lighter. I sighed. I was finally done with the hard work. “It’s a girl.” Dr. Moore said. The nursed rushed over and grabbed her and took her over to the baby table to work on her. “What’s going on?” Alex asked. “It’s nothing to worry about. She just wasn’t breathing that’s why they’re working as fast as they can.” He said as he picked up our son and handed him to Alex. “Will she be okay?” I asked. That’s when I heard her cry. I let out a sigh of relief.

Allison had been back in her room for about six hours asleep. She needed it after twelve hours of being in labor. I’m surprised the nurses let her sleep that long. Alex and I had been talking to Dr. Moore. “Will she be breast-feeding?” Alex looked over at her then to me. “I know she should, but... I don’t think she could handle it.” “Why do you think that?” Dr. Moore asked. When Alex didn’t answer I intervened. “She has been under a lot of pressure.” “How so?” I looked over at Allison then to Alex before responding. “Her daughter is very ill and she and Alex had been having problems.” I said as Alex took a seat next to her. She glanced over at him and smiled. “Do you think they’re suitable to care for the twins? Do you think with an ill child they’ll be able to handle the extra work?” I looked over at them, as they seemed so happy. Alex grazed his hand across Allison's cheek. Then she touched his hand with hers. I had to smile. “They can.” Then I looked back at the doctor. “I know they can. Those two are the best parents. They’ve raised Hanna who has Leukemia for almost seven years. If they can make it that long... I know they can do this.” “If you’re certain.” “Yeah. If they need help I don’t live to far from them.” “Not too far?” “About five, ten minutes. Give or take.” “Okay I’m going to take you word for it.” I’ve known Alex and Allison for fifteen years. I can admit Alex had his share of problems but having Allison around he’s cleaned himself up and he’s been a better man. Without them in his life...” I looked back over at them together again. “We all don’t try and think about that. We try to see things for the better.” Brian said walking down the hall with a smile. Nick and Howie followed suit.

I looked over at the three walking over and smiled. “I’m glad you made it. Where’s Hanna?” I asked. “She’s back at the McLean House. Leighanne and Leigh are watching her.” Brian said. “So you must be the guys that Alex has been talking about?” Dr. Moore asked. “Yes we are. I’m Howie; this is Nick and Brian.” Howie said introducing the others. “Will the four of you be around to help the McLean’s with the Hanna and the twins?” “We’ll help as much as we can but Howie and myself don’t live in the area.” Brian said. “I will be.” Nick said speaking up. “I don’t live to far from them so I’ll be over most of the time.” He said while looking over at me. I just nodded my head. “So will I.” I said. “Well okay then. I think they’ll have everything taken care of when she leaves.” He said placing his chart back into the slot. “Let her know that I’ll be back to check on her in a few hours.” “We will. Thank you.” I said as he turned and walked away.

I was to intrigued with having Alex touching me that I didn’t hear the others walk in. “Hey Ally.” Nick said. I finally glanced over at them. “Oh hey guys.” I said with a grin. “So have the two of you thought of names?” Brian asked. That’s just when two nurses came in pushing two baby carts in. I followed their eyes as they all looked at the two sleeping bundles of joy in front of them. “Hey you had one of each!” Nick smiled looking over at us. “Cool huh?” Alex said looking at me. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist. “It is cool.” I whispered. “So, have you picked out names?” Howie asked. “I was thinkin’ Nickole Gene.” I said. “And I liked Nathan Gage.” Alex replied while looking at me. “I like it.” I whispered to him. “Me too.” He whispered back. “You named her Nick-ole?” Nick asked looking at me. I looked over at him and gave him a smile. “We did.” “Why Nickole?” I look at Alex then the other. Alex smiled at me the leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

As he and the other three headed out I looked over at Nick. “Nick, I wanted to name her after you.” “But why? I don’t understand.” I put out my hand for him, before I continued. “Because... first off... you’re my best friend. Second, you’ve taken care of Hanna while I was gone.” “I needed too.” “No, you didn’t need too. You choose too. You stood up and did something adult like. You did the grown-up thing. Taking care of Hanna in her time of need.” He looked away. “Nick you’re growing up. You weren’t thinking about yourself then, you were thinking about others. That took guts to do what you did and you didn’t turn your back on that little girl.” “I just wanted to spend some with her. I never got to see her grow-up.” That’s when he just couldn’t hold back any longer. “I’ll never get to see her grow up to a beautiful young woman like her mother.” He said while standing over by Nickole. “Nicky.” He leaned down and lifted her up. Then he turned around and looked at me. I watched him as he walked over to the chair next to my bed and took a seat. “Ally she’s beautiful just like you.” I leaned over and placed my hand on his head. “So you’ll be okay with us naming her after you?” “Yeah.” Then he chuckled. “Hey I can always call her Nicky.” He smiled over at me. “Yes you can... Nicky.” I said jokingly. He just stuck out his tongue. Then he placed her in my arms as he went and picked up Nate.

The End. Or Is It…