Kimberly had just gotten home from her new job at a bank. She was a teller. It was nice she liked it. Slowly it seemed things were finally getting better for her. She would occasionally feel her heart squeeze in agony as she heard Backstreet Boys music play over the radio at her work. She tried not to think about it and wished she could go back to just being a fan again. She loved their music and she loved supporting them, but whenever she heard Nick’s voice it caused nothing but pain. She still wore the Baby Angel necklace; she couldn’t bear to take it off.
Kimberly was on her break at work and she was sitting in the break room with her legs crossed playing with her phone. She saw the battery life was on its last bar so she shut it off to try to keep it alive until she got home to where she could charge it. She took a sip of her Pepsi. She glanced down at the table and noticed a magazine. It was the Rolling Stones. She shrugged; she had about ten more minutes until she was due back to work and needed something to do. She pulled it out and her green eyes expanded when she saw who was on the cover. She could feel her heart tighten as she looked over the photo. The Backstreet Boys were on the cover. How in the world? She asked herself. She remembered Nick and the boys got into a huge fight because of this photo shoot, all because he ditched it to see her. Sadness washed over her as she remembered she was the reason why they began fighting in the first place. She cleared her throat, she couldn’t think about that. She was out of his life now, and because of that she was no longer a distraction to him or his work. She half smiled as she looked over his picture. Nick was wearing a blue suit with blue sunglasses. His hair wild like the wind, his tie loosened and his shirt untucked. She could feel her stomach do a flip. She smirked, she still had a little fandom in her. How could she not? She opened it up and turned to the page where they had an interview. She began to read it and her eyes got fixated on another picture of Nick. He was wearing a black tank top, showing his tattoos and once again his hair was wild. His eyes were so blue they matched the ocean. She traced over his photo with her index finger. That time she felt her heart cry in despair and her eyes began to sting. She cleared her throat; she had to stop with this. She began to read the article the boys did and she was pleased to know they had finished a small little record. She was really happy they got back into making music together, she was terribly worried he wouldn’t listen to her and he’d remain broken up with the Backstreet Boys, even after her departure. Her eyes skimmed the interview and she felt tears emerge as she read what Nick had said.
Interviewer: So Nick, you were out of it for quite a while. What happened? Rumor has it that you were pretty sick.
Nick: Sick? Nah…well I was kind of love sick (laughs)I guess you could say.
Interviewer: Love sick? Is there a special girl in your life?
Nick: There was. Her name was…(pauses) Let’s just say she’ll always have a special place in my heart. She’s my Baby Angel. It’s one of those rare relationships that moves you so badly you don’t know how to handle it.
Kimberly pressed the magazine to her chest and wrinkled it with her embrace. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to force the tears to stay in. She didn’t want her make up to run. She took a long sip of her drink before standing up. She put the magazine down and traced the photo of Nick one more time before returning back to work.
“Look, I already told you, she isn’t here!” Growled Ashley on the phone as Kimberly walked through the front door.
She looked at her confused, “Who’s that?” She lipped.
Ashley let out a loud sigh, “You know what, you’re lucky because she just walked in. But I swear to God if you upset her in anyway I will fucking go down there and rip off your balls myself! She dealt with far too much already, do you got that?” She hissed. Kimberly looked at her best friend with eyes wide open, never had she seen such wrath from her. Ashley then cleared her throat and looked at her, “Someone wants to talk to you,” she flatly said and handed her the phone.
She was almost afraid to talk to the person on the other end. She cleared her throat, “Hello?”
“Hey…hey, Kim,” said the somewhat familiar voice.
Kimberly sat down on the couch, “Who is this?”
He cleared his scratchy throat, “It’s uh…it’s AJ.”
She felt her throat close up and her stomach flip. What was he doing calling her? Did he want to call to gloat? Saying that Nick was much happier now that she was out of the picture? She got that, she read the damn interview, she knew he was doing better, “Did you…did you need something?”
He let out a loud, “I don’t even know where to start,” his voice remorseful. “I just…I just have to start off by saying I am so sorry, Kim. For everything!”
She didn’t know how to comprehend. The man that thought she was the most disgusting person on the face of the Earth was apologizing to her? She knew she should have been the bigger person but she wasn’t thinking and her emotions just flowed out. “You really hurt me. I never did anything to you.”
“I know, I know. And fuck, if I could go back and stop from treating you the way I did, I would in a heartbeat. I was a fucking jealous bastard. All I saw was some bitch stole Nick away from me. I felt you stole my best clubbing buddy.”
Kimberly could not believe what she was hearing. That was the reason?!? “That’s why you were always so mean to me?” She asked in disbelief.
He cleared his throat again feeling it clog up, “Yeah…I wanted Nick to break up with you, because I wanted him back.”
She fought to keep her angry tears in her eyes, “Well, you won,” she said in a broken voice. “You got what you asked for. I’m no longer in the picture and I’m no longer in the way of your drinking buddy.” Kimberly failed and could feel liquid slowly rolling down her face. AJ hated her all because of jealousy? All because he thought that she was stealing his drinking buddy away? “Are we…are we done now?” She asked above a whisper as more tears flowed down her face.
“No,” he quietly replied. “I fucked up, Kim. Fucked up worse than you can imagine. What I did is unforgivable…” he let out a loud sigh, “Nick is bad.”
That quickly caught her attention and panic began to rush through her, “Wh-what do you mean he’s bad? I just read the Rolling Stones interview. You guys are doing great. You have an album out already, you’re back together.”
“Nick went to the hospital last week, did you know that?” He asked.
Kimberly felt fear take over her. It were as if someone had just punched her in the stomach, “N-no. Why was he there? Is he alright?!?” She hadn’t realized how frantic her voice had become.
“He had alcohol poisoning. They had to pump his stomach. Ever since you guys broke up he’s done nothing but party. He’s sleeping with random girls, drinking…he’s killing himself, Kim!”
Hearing that he was sleeping with girls felt like someone had just slashed her heart with a butcher knife, “Tell him to go to rehab,” she simply told him, trying to hide the hurt in her voice.
“Please,” he begged. “Help him.”
That took her by surprise, “Excuse me? Help him? With what?”
“He fucking wants to die, Kim. You’re still in love with him, I can tell by the sound of your voice. Fix things with him.”
“AJ, it’s been almost two months. We can’t just fix what happened. I left for a valid reason.”
“And what reason was that?” He demanded, “Because of me, right?”
“No. I was the reason why the band was fighting, I was the reason why he missed photo shoots...the reason why he left the band in the first place.”
He let out a defeating sigh, “No, Kim. I was the reason. I forced fights with him…I got him going. He would have stayed if it weren’t for me. So don’t doubt yourself.” He cleared his throat again, “I talked to Angel and she’s really worried about him…the guys and I are too. Please, I’m begging you, Kim. Fucking begging you.”
Kimberly ran her trembling hand through her hair, “What do you expect me to do?”
“I don’t know…talk to him. Tell him how stupid he’s being.”
“And what makes you think he’ll actually listen to me?”
“Because he loves you, Kim. You’re the only one that can get through to him.”
She swallowed hard. She hated knowing that he was slowly drinking himself to death…and she mostly hated that he was sleeping with other woman. “Okay,” she softly said. “When do you want me down there?”
Relief swept over AJ, “God Kim, thank you so much. Um, tomorrow. I’ll arrange everything! We’re having a show and I know it’ll make him so happy to see you. Can you leave in the AM?”
She sighed, “Yeah…yeah I think I can. Get two tickets because I want Ashley to go with me.” What was she going to tell her work? That she had to go to Florida because she was trying to save her ex-boyfriend from killing himself?
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll call you in like an hour with all the details. Thank you so much, you don’t know how much this means to us…how much it’s going to mean to Nick. I’ll talk to you later.” He then hung up the phone.
Kimberly dropped her face into her hands. Was she really going to do this? Ashley walked in and saw how distraught she looked, “What happened?” She softly asked, walking over and sitting next to her.
She pulled her face from her hands and looked up at Ashley with watering eyes, “We’re going to Florida tomorrow.”
Her brown eyes grew wide, “Uh…we are?”
She nodded, “Yeah. Nick’s really bad and they’re really scared for him. They think I’m the only one that can get through to him.” She then shrugged, “I guess they’re doing some show tomorrow too.”
“Wow…what’s wrong with him?”
Kimberly sighed, “I guess he’s really depressed and he’s been drinking a lot…and just screwing around with other girls.” She didn’t realize how hard that was to say. Here she was suffering, couldn't even bear to look at another man, but yet it seemed as though Nick had no problem whipping his dick out.
“Kim,” said Ashley. “That’s not being depressed. That’s being a fucking celebrity.”
She shook her head, “No, Ash. You should have heard AJ on the phone. He was begging me. I just have to make sure she’s alright.”
“And if he is?” She questioned.
She shrugged, “Then I’m hoping back on the first place back here.” She then ran her hands through her hair, “I just gotta figure out what I’m gonna do about work.”
Ashley half smiled, “Let me deal with that.”
Kimberly raised an eyebrow, “What are you gonna do?”
“Just trust me on this. Maybe you should start packing, especially if we’re leaving tomorrow.”
She nodded, “Okay.” Kimberly stood up and studied her friend’s face, unsure what she had planned to do about her work situation. She tried not to let it get to her. She knew Ashley wouldn’t cause her to get fired…at least she had better not. She then walked into her bedroom and began to pack a few clothes into a small suitcase. She was only going for a few days. As soon as she saw Nick and made sure he was alright she would be back on her way. She knew seeing him was going to kill her…would she even be able to handle the pain? Would all the progress she's made without him crumble? She didn't think she would be able to deal with the heartache all over again.
Ashley then pulled out her cell-phone and sat down on the couch and called the bank Kimberly worked out. She cleared her throat, “Yes, hi. This is Ashley Kimberly Power’s roommate. Well I just wanted to inform you that she and I have an urgent flight to take. One of her family members died…” she listened to the other person speak and she smiled slyly, “Okay, thank you so much. Right now she’s so devastated, she can’t even think straight. I’ll let her know that you gave her the okay to leave…when we’ll be back?” Ashley let out a loud sigh, “I don’t even know…can you give her a week off? She’s really torn about this.” Ashley smiled as she listened to the woman, whom was telling her how terribly sorry she was. “Thank you so much. You’re awesome. I’ll let Kim know right away. Have a great day.” Ashley then hung up the phone with a smug look across her face. She got Kimberly to have a little vacation and that meant more time she could work things out with Nick. She was not going to let her leave him until they worked things out. They both were too miserable without each other. It had already been a month and she still could hear her crying in her room at night. That just tore her heart in two.
Kimberly walked out with a small suitcase and saw that Ashley with the phone in her hand, “What happened?”
She looked up at her and grinned, “It’s all set. They’re giving you a week off.”
Her green eyes blew open, “A week? Really? How did you manage that?” She questioned in awe.
Ashley smirked, “I told a little white lie. I said one of your family members had died. They were very caring I must say. So you’re in the clear.”
She laughed as she sat down, “You told them someone in my family died? Ash!”
She shrugged, “It worked.” She then looked at her friend with serious eyes, “So what’s gonna happen tomorrow?”
Kimberly let out a loud sigh, “I haven’t got a clue…I’m scared shitless. What am I supposed to say? How is he gonna react when he sees me?” She could feel her eyes swelling, “I’m really scared, Ash.”
Ashley wrapped her arms tightly around her best friend, “It’ll be okay, Kim.”
“Will it?” She questioned, as a few tears slowly rolled down her face, “He’s already moving on with his life. This is so pointless for me to even go.”
“What do you mean? How is he moving on with his life? He’s a wreck isn’t he?”
“He’s sleeping with other girls, Ash. What does that say?”
She shook her head, “Kim, having sex with other girls doesn’t mean he’s not in love with you anymore. It means he stopped caring…he’s going back to his old ways. Remember when he would party non-stop and fuck all groupies? He’s going back to that…he’s depressed. He’s probably more depressed than we even realize.” She put her hand on her shoulder and said, “Trust me, we’re doing a good thing here.” She then stood up, “I need to start packing myself.”
Kimberly watched as Ashley retreated for her bedroom and she sat there thinking. Thinking about Nick, thinking about seeing him. Did he even know that she was coming? She squeezed her eyes tightly trying to suppress the tears. She missed him more and more each passing day. She thought things were supposed to get easier. How could Nick possibly still be in love with her if he was messing around with other girls? Her heart clenched in agony as those words haunted her mind that AJ said to her he’s killing himself, Kim! She knew if she didn’t go it would haunt her until the end of days…and just knowing Nick was hurting himself scared her. Scared her more than any fear she’s ever had. She knew what she had to do…she had to make sure he was alright. No matter what she wouldn’t deny that she still insanely in love with him and would do anything to help him. Maybe that was what put her in this mess in the first place. She was so in love with him she thought leaving him would help him, but it looked as though she just made things worse. More worse than she could have imagined.
“Come on, Nick,” said Kevin in an agitated voice. “Just one more time. The show is only in a few hours! We still haven’t gotten it right just yet.”
Nick was hanging from the night before, it felt like someone was drilling into his head and Kevin’s nagging was not helping. He shouldn’t have had so much to drink last night, at least this time he woke up in bed alone. Laura still haunted his mind and each time he thought about her being in bed with him, it made him feel sick all over again. He let out a loud groan, “I know, man. Just give me a little break.”
AJ nodded, “Yeah, I could use a break too.” Kevin looked at AJ steamed, “Don’t worry, Kev,” he said, lowering his hands. “What’s a few minutes gonna do?”
“I’m gonna get a drink,” grumbled Nick.
“Water I hope,” muttered Howie.
Nick shot him a hard look, “Yes, water.” It was no secret that he was back in his party animal stage, but he didn’t care. Why should he? He walked over to the small blue cooler and took out bottled water and he could feel the liquid running down his hot throat. He didn’t realize how thirsty he really was until the bottle was empty. Nick pulled out his cell-phone after he heard it go off. He groaned when he saw it was some girl he gave his number to. Why did he do that? She wanted to hook up after the show. He rolled his eyes in annoyance and just deleted it. He didn't even remember her, or knew what she looked like. He didn't remember a lot of things lately and that was how he liked it. He didn't need to know how many whores he's made out with, who he fucked. The only thing that he cared about was that he was too fucked up to think about her.
“Okay break is over,” said Kevin in a thick voice. “After we have the dance down, we can take a break until the show.”
Nick groaned, but he knew there was no use in complaining. All the other guys could get the moves right, so why couldn’t he? He needed a drink and a strong one. He could feel nothing but throbbing in his chest, he wanted to get numb again. When he couldn’t feel that was when he could get things done…what he would do to stop feeling like this. Why was heartbreak such a long process? It should never take this long to get over someone. The more he thought about her, the more difficult it was to concentrate. He needed this to end and now.
