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Chapter Thirty Five – March 15 - Addy

I walked into the house from my morning ride with Kevin, windblown but happy. I hadn’t been spending much time at home. I knew I should have felt guilty, but my head was in the clouds. Kevin loved me and I loved him.

I was surprised to see my dad still sitting at the kitchen table. He sipped a cup of coffee, his hands cradled around the mug. He had a faraway expression in his eyes.

“Morning daddy,” I said, leaning down to kiss his whiskered cheek. He blinked rapidly then smiled up at me.

“Hello, stranger,” he said lightly. I blushed.

“I’m sorry. Have I really been that bad?”

“It’s fine, I’m just teasing you…even though my filing has gotten out of control.”

“I’ll come in and file today. Kevin just left for Lexington.”

“And you didn’t go with him?”

I shook my head. “No, I thought I’d catch up with you.”

His smile widened. “Well thank you for not forgetting me.”

I laughed. “Never.”

Dad dumped his coffee and grabbed his physician’s bag. We walked in companionable silence to his office. He wasn’t kidding when he said the filing was atrocious. As he wandered into the exam room, I picked up file after file. It was going to be an all afternoon project.

Throughout the morning, patients filed in and out. For each record I put away, another one was pulled out. It was nice to be needed, but it still amazed me at how disorganized my dad was.

It was about lunchtime when the bell over the door chimed. I looked up to see a woman I didn’t recognize. She looked to be in her late 20’s and definitely not from around the area. She was dressed in a trendy jacket, skirt, and heels. Her light brown hair was cut stylishly around her face.

“Hello,” I said, hiding the sandwich I had bought at the drugstore below the counter. “What can I do for you?”

Her eyes looked around the small room and then fixed on me.

They were a gorgeous, yet familiar shade of amber. She walked calmly up to me; I felt for a brief moment like someone on display. She held out a well manicured hand.

“I’m Tracy Roberts.”

Her voice held an element of ill-suppressed excitement. I shook her hand, trying not to look too confused.

“I’m Addy Selinski. What can I do for you?”

“I’m your half sister,” she blurted out.

I laughed in disbelief. “I’m sorry,” I said kindly. “But I think there’s been some mistake.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Oh, no. It can’t be. You have my dad’s amber eyes.”

Now I really looked at her like she was insane. “My dad is in the office,” I said pointing at the closed door.

The girl stubbornly shook her head. “You’re mother’s name was Paula, right?”

“Yes,” I said slowly.

“My dad was in her same theater group. They broke up before you were born, but he said she sent him pictures occasionally.”

She dug through her purse and handed over a small creased photograph. I took it, my mind whirling in confusion. I looked down.

There I was, in all my five year old glory playing bride. I held a bouquet of wilting flowers and was smiling ear to ear.

“Where did you get this?” I demanded. I knew I was practically shouting.

“My dad gave it to me,” she said softly. “He died of cancer about a month ago. He told me his biggest regret was leaving your mom unmarried and pregnant.”

Dad walked out of his office at that moment.

“Ready for lunch?” he asked with a smile.

He took one look at my face and his smile disappeared. He looked at Tracy and then back to me. His gaze fell to the photograph in my hand.

“What’s going on here?” he asked quietly.

“Dr. Selinski?” Tracy said, holding out her hand. “I’m Tracy Roberts. Frank Roberts was my father.”

I had never seen my father look like he was going to faint, but his face grew so pale that I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to pass out. He glanced back at me again; I saw what I thought was fear in his eyes.

“Frank Roberts?” dad repeated quietly. Tracy nodded and looked back at me.

“Before he died he told me I had a half sister. I wanted to meet her.”

“Dad?” I asked, my voice quivering. He ran a hand over his face.

“I think we need to sit down and have a talk.”

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An hour later I sat in the diner with dad and Tracy. Dad confirmed Tracy’s story. My mom had gotten kicked out of the theatre group and Frank Roberts, her boyfriend, had gone on with the group leaving her pregnant and stranded in Kentucky.

That’s where my dad had come in. He had been a med student and had seen her performance in Annie Get Your Gun no less than seventeen times. He had waited for her outside the theatre; he had brought her flowers. He had been fixated on a starlet who wouldn’t give him the time of day.

Until she was left without nothing.

Dad had married her without question. When I was born I was his daughter from the very second he stared down at my tiny face. Dad had given mom a roof over her head, a name, and a way to take care of her daughter.

In return she took off in the middle of the afternoon and never returned.

Both of my biological parents had abandoned me.

Talk about a blow to the heart.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I choked out. Dad sighed and hung his head.

“Denial is my greatest fault,” he said. “I didn’t want to think of the truth. I created my own truth. I….I didn’t want you to love me any less.”

I shook my head. “I could never love you any less. Look at all you’ve done for me.”

I put my hand over his. I looked back over at Tracy.

“You said Frank died?” I asked. I couldn’t call him my dad. It took a lot more than DNA to make someone a father.

Tracy nodded. “He did. He told my mother and I about you on his death bed. He’s held that guilt all these years.”

I closed my eyes. “Did he say anything about my mother? Does he know where she is?”

Tracy shook her head. “He told us that the last time he heard from her was almost twenty five years ago. She wrote him and told him she was going to make it big in Hollywood.”

I glanced at dad. Twenty five years ago was when she left. She had gone out West. Who knew if she was alive or dead?

I studied Tracy’s face. Many of her facial features were identical to mine, but she had a certain hoity air that I could never compete with.

“I’m sorry about this,” Tracy said. “I was just curious as to what you looked like. What you were doing.” She looked around the café in mild distaste. Even though my back was to the diner door, I heard the door open. Her eyes widened in surprise; I could see a spark of interest light up the amber depths. I turned around to confirm my suspicion.

Yup. It was Kevin.

“I don’t believe it. That’s Kevin Richardson,” Tracy said. “My god, he’s gorgeous. What’s he doing in the middle of nowhere?”

Kevin caught my eye. I watched calmly as he walked over, all the while my blood boiled angrily in my ears. Sadieville wasn’t much, but it was home. He stopped by my chair and leaned down and kissed me softly. When he pulled away, I turned around to see Tracy looking at me in surprise. Suddenly I looked a lot more interesting to her.

“Who’s this?” Kevin asked, pulling up a chair. I glanced at my dad. He was staring forlornly at his coffee cup. Tracy held out a hand and leaned over, her cleavage spilled over her top.

“Tracy Roberts. I’m Addy’s half-sister.”

Kevin shook her hand, but I felt his gaze on me.

“Half-sister?” he asked.

“It’s a long story,” I said.

“I have time.”

I took a deep breath and filled him in. Tracy was staring at him with wide, fixated eyes. Half-sister or not, I couldn’t wait to say a hasty good-bye. When the time finally came I watched her get into her sleek black town car and take off. She had given me her email address and made me promise to write. She wanted to get to know me better.

I think she really just wanted to get to know Kevin better. I felt his arm go around my waist.

“You’re much prettier,” he whispered into my ear. I smiled.

He squeezed me lovingly and kissed my cheek.

“I’m going to let you and your dad talk. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watched him walk down the street and then turned to dad. When I looped my arm through his he looked at me in surprise.

“No matter what, you’re my dad,” I said. I kissed his cheek. A tear rolled down his face.

“No more secrets Addy, I promise,” he said softly. I hugged him tightly.

“No more secrets,” I agreed.

I couldn’t imagine any secret that would top the one I had learned today. It said a lot about my emotional stability that I hadn’t fallen apart. Maybe I had secretly known all along.

As we walked back to the office I rationalized that even though my biological father was dead, the two most important men in my life were very much alive.

And that made me feel complete.