Left in the Dark
I laid in the dark with my eyes closed for about an hour, just willing sleep to come. I was so tired and my body was exhausted, but my brain had other plans. It was working a mile a minute. Don’t you hate when that happens? When your body gives you all the bells and whistles it needs to let you know you need sleep but your mind just doesn’t care.
I still think brains are unnecessary.
My main thoughts went to Brian, AJ and Howie. I was really worried about them, despite what my father said. Max is a man who set our house on fire and kidnapped me out of my own home. He stole a year of my life from me, not to mention what he did to my family in the process. He was probably the reason my mother ‘died’ and my brother ceased to exist. This is the man I was supposed to trust when it came to my friends?
“Are you awake little man?”
I finally opened my eyes and looked up at the dark figure of Kevin, “Yep, are you?”
“Obviously…”
I sat up and pulled my blanket over my shoulders like a cape, “This has been kind of crazy, hasn’t it?”
He sat up and did the same thing. “Uh, yeah.”
“I’m worried about the guys.”
He motioned for me to come join him on the couch, “Me too.”
“I feel like we should be doing something besides lying around and waiting.”
“Me too.”
The sound of snoring coming from the other couch made us both pause for a second, “How can he sleep?”
Kevin shrugged his shoulders, “I have a feeling he’s used to this sort of thing.”
“How can anyone get used to this? I still can’t believe I have a freaking brother. I mean how…why?”
He half laughed, “And what about my family? What the hell is that all about?”
“Are you going to ask them about that when this is all over?”
“I don’t know.” He paused and then looked at his fingers as he said the rest, “I’m not sure if this is ever going to be all over.”
We both let that statement hang in the air for a few minutes. What if Kevin was right? What if this never ended and for some reason we had to suddenly live the same kind of life that my snoring brother and mother were living. Could we ever go back to normal after this, or would we have to find a new definition of normal?
“I don’t even know what to call myself anymore. I mean how can I be Nick if my brother is Nickolas? I don’t like the name Andrew, it sucks.” I let out a deep sigh.
Okay, now I suddenly was even more restless than before. I plowed my hands through my hair in frustration and stood up and started pacing, “With every minute we wait, Max can be coming up with a plan that destroys everything we have worked so hard on, Kevin. We need to do something!”
“Nick, relax.”
“Yeah, relax,” came the sound of my brother from the other couch as he slowly sat up and yawned. “Getting yourself all worked up over things won’t help.”
“That’s why we just need to go do something. We know where Max is, why don’t we just go get the guys ourselves?” I asked my two big brothers.
“Because that would be dumb.” Nickolas replied.
“Why?”
“You saw what happened to me the last time we decided to rescue you and I know what I’m doing.”
“Are you saying I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you know what you’re doing?” Kevin asked my brother.
I turned towards Nickolas, with my arms defensively folded in front of me, “Yeah, how do you know what you’re doing?”
“Mostly because of your father.”
I’m not sure why I felt a small pang of jealousy when he said that, but I did. I mean my father never even taught me how to throw a punch. He always told me the best way to fight was to avoid one, meanwhile he’s showing my brother CIA, ninja moves? What the hell?
“My father taught you how to fight and defend yourself?”
“Not just me.”
I nodded, “He thought it was important that I know what to do if Max or Roger showed up on our doorstep one day.”
Roger, just his name sent a chill down my spine. I wish I could fully remember why, but then again, maybe not. “I don’t get why you and mom left.” I finally stopped pacing and just stood facing my brother, probably looking baffled and annoyed.
“One day, shortly after we got you back, mom pulled me aside and told me I had to go into hiding. That it wasn’t safe for me to be with them and soon we would all be together. You don’t remember me Nick because by the time you got home from the hospital, I was gone.”
Now that he said that, it made sense. My parents said once I came home from the hospital we lived as a happy family but they didn’t mention Nickolas. “Where did they send you?”
He looked over at me and in that instant I saw our similarities. The way his eyes creased and his head tilted when he spoke, told me how sad he was by what he was about to say. “A nice family in Florida that dad knew pretty well. They treated me like I was their own. Mom and dad would take turns coming to visit me on the weekends. It wasn’t so bad. I was only about an hour away from you. I always asked why you didn’t come, but they told me it was just too dangerous.”
“Why didn’t we all just go into witness protection? That way we could have all stayed together.”
“I don’t know. You’d have to ask your father that one.” The way he exaggerated the word father, made me realize that there was some hurt feelings on his part. I can only imagine.
“Anyway, things were good until one day I came home from school and found them dead.”
“What? That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t know what to do, so I called mom which I am sure Max was counting on.”
If my father would have sent Nickolas back to the Richardson’s, they’d be dead right now. I glanced over at Kevin, just to see what his reaction to all of this was. The look on his face showed his thoughts going to the same place as mine.
“He followed you guys back home, didn’t he?”
Nickolas nodded.
“And that’s why mom died?”
He nodded again. “Max had a thing against mom. She’s the one that killed his sister. Your dad thought the only way to get him off of our backs once and for all was to have her play dead.”
He told me how my father rigged the accident, hid my mother and brother and then exploded the car, making sure that there was just enough evidence in there proving my mother was behind the wheel at the time of the explosion.
“We moved to Key West and stayed there for a while before ending up in New York.”
“How often did you get to see my father?”
“Two or three times a year.”
All those trips he made, saying it was related to the bed and breakfast. That’s where he was going. To see the family I thought was dead. I was feeling ripped off and mad again. How could they do this to me? Take away my family and life without telling me about any of it. It’s bad enough that I was kidnapped but when your own family steals from you, it makes it wronger…or even more wrong. Whatever, it’s fucked up!
I suddenly needed to get the hell out of that place. Looked around for my shoes in the dark and after locating them, plopped on the couch next to Kevin again.
“Nick, what are you doing?” he asked in his slow, I know what you’re doing but I’m asking you anyway, kind of voice.
“Leaving.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I can’t just stay here and wait for things to happen. I’m going back to the hotel.”
“No, you’re not.” He said once again as if I didn’t hear him the first time.
I finally had my shoes on my feet and even though I knew what I was saying and doing didn’t make any sense, it didn’t matter to me. I just needed to be out of there. “I’m going and you can either come with me or shut up about it.”
That’s when my brother stood up and blocked the door, “You aren’t going anywhere. It’s too dangerous. If you get caught you’ll not only be putting your life in danger but your friend’s lives as well.”
“How do we know that Max hasn’t killed them already?”
“We don’t, but like your dad said, I’m sure they’re safe. Max has only one goal and that’s to find mom.”
I wasn’t expecting that to be his answer. “Mom?”
“Yes, mom. It’s not all about you, you know.”
“He wants mom?”
“Dead, he wants her dead.”
“How did he even find out she was alive in the first place?”
He walked closer to me and pat my back as he led me away from the door and towards the couch, “Andrew, I know it’s frustrating believe me. I have been living this kind of life for as long as I can remember. Getting mad and trying to take things into your own hands doesn’t help. That’s how he found out. I decided that I was going to end things myself by going after Max. It’s my stupidity that started this whole thing up again.”
“How?”
He proceeded to tell Kevin and I, over a cup of hot chocolate and some cookies, how he found Max’s location one of the last times my dad went to visit them. How he bought his own bus ticket and traveled cross country to locate the guy and when he did, he came up with this plan to lure him in and then call the cops. It all seemed easy enough until he tried it. He made it seem like Max had broken into a car and then called the police on him, hoping that would be enough to hold him and then once they did a little background check, they’d find they had bagged a felon. It didn’t turn out the way he had hoped. Max had so many aliases at the time that the police let him go and soon enough he managed to trace that call back to my brother and with it he was able to pick up the very cold trail left by my family.
“Once he made the connection that it was me, he also figured out that mom was alive.”
He paused and once again his head tilted, “Once I realized what a huge mistake I made, I called your dad to let him know. He was furious and decided to have us move again, that’s how we ended up here in this hole in the wall in the middle of nowhere.”
“I don’t blame you for any of this.” I said in all honesty. He was the one person who knew what I was going through. In a way he had it way worse than I did. At least I had some semblance of a childhood and real life. He had spent the majority of his on the run, always looking over his shoulder.
Sometimes it was better to be left in the dark. I was starting to get that now.
He smiled at the vindication I had given him. Not sure how much it mattered but I think every little bit helped.
“Why are you still awake?” My father asked as he entered the kitchen, surprised to see us all sitting around the table.
“Couldn’t sleep.” I said, trying not to sound annoyed with him. I know he was just doing what he thought was best for us, but still I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to forgive him. Vindication can only go so far.
“I guess considering everything that’s happened the last few days, I can’t blame you. I can’t sleep either.” He opened the fridge and took out the milk, “Are there anymore cookies?” He sat beside me and poured himself a glass. “One good thing about insomnia…” He looked at me and smiled, “It helped me come up with a plan.”
“To save the boys?”
“Yes and get our lives back once and for all.”
I took a chug of my milk, “Let’s do it!” I said, feeling determination. Not realizing by the time it was all said and done, some of the people at this table would no longer be with us.
