The Best Laid Plans
“So are you sure you can do this?” My father asked me for about the ten thousandth time. “Because it’s really important that you do not let on that we have seen each other.”
“I can do it!” I was starting to get annoyed.
At first I was impressed when my father started telling us his plan, which started with the words, “This will only work if we can get Max to believe Nick.” It turns out that what Kevin and my brother had prevented me from doing is exactly what my father wanted me to do in the first place.
I’m going back to the hotel, all alone.
Of course when he told us that, Kevin protested. Saying that it wasn’t such a great idea and how bad I was at hiding my emotions and then Nickolas had to quickly agree with him, saying just from knowing me for such a short time, he wasn’t sure if I could actually be able to act like Max was still a good guy. Way to have confidence in me! Haven’t these guys ever seen me act before? Okay maybe the library video isn’t that great of an example of what I’m talking about, but I can really act my way out of all kinds of situations when needed. Neither of them was there when I worked my charms on the front desk clerk at the hotel, but I am more than capable of handling this job.
Kevin insisted that he should go with me but my father quickly shot that down, reminding him that he was ‘missing’ and that it would seem suspicious if I managed to find him without running into my family.
“Just tell me what to do.” I said, determined not to let the guys down and more importantly, to prove Kevin and Nickolas wrong.
“You make the call we talked about, but not until we have a little training first.” With that being said, my father got up from the table, “Seriously, you all need some sleep, especially you. I’m going to teach you some things before I send you back to Max.”
I nodded at him as he left the kitchen. Maybe it was time for me to learn some of those kick ass ninja moves he taught my brother.
“I don’t like this.” Guess who that was.
“Kevin, have a little more faith in me.”
“It’s too dangerous for a little kid to be doing this.”
“Pardon me?”
“Sorry, but it’s true. You’re just a kid, Nick. One who is practically afraid of his own shadow!”
I stood up, “Screw you, Kevin!” Of course it would have been a bolder statement if I hadn’t tripped over my own feet and almost fallen on my face as I said it. Son of a bitch!
Kevin just shook his head and Nickolas looked worried as I stomped out of the room and onto the couch, “And I’m taking the couch, you can sleep on the damned floor!”
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, ignoring Kevin as he continued to talk to me from the doorway of the kitchen, “I am just worried about you little man. This is a big thing your dad is asking you to do. No one would blame you if you decided you couldn’t do it.”
“Obviously my father thinks I’m capable of doing what I need to do.”
“I just think…”
“It doesn’t matter what you think Kevin. My father is in charge of the situation. Good night!” and with that being said I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep.
“I said shut up!!” I felt his hands on me before I could do anything about it. He grabbed me up by my arms and pulled me away from my mother. He always did that when I made him mad but I couldn’t help it. I was scared.
My mommy wasn’t my mommy and he wasn’t my real daddy. My daddy would never hurt me the way that he did. I liked my new mommy but I didn’t like him, so I would cry when he came too close, even though my mommy would warn me not to.
“Roger don’t, please!” my mommy begged as she ran after us. I hope she catches him and throws him in the garbage, that’s where he belongs.
“Shut up Nicole! I can’t stand this damn kid anymore with this crying.”
“He’s only a baby, he doesn’t know any better!”
“He’ll know when I teach him a lesson.”
He opened a door and threw me inside. It was really cold and dark. I cried some more but I could no longer hear my new mommy or horrible new daddy. I didn’t like it in here. It smelled funny. I found myself shivering and wrapped my arms around myself as best as I could.
I felt around for something familiar, hoping that my pig would be in here waiting with me, but all I managed to find was a box that reminded me of my favorite toy back home. It rattled so I picked it up and kept shaking it, trying not to cry because the intense cold air from the box was making my chest hurt.
The door opened and my mommy picked me up, she was crying, “Don’t worry sweetie, he’ll never do that to you again!”
“I will if you start crying!” He warned and his eyes told me he wasn’t kidding.
I sat up straight and let out a huge breath, one that felt like I had held for over 10 years. Kevin was sitting on the floor and staring at me.
“Another nightmare?” He asked.
I nodded and wiped some sweat off of my forehead. “That son of a bitch locked me in a freezer.” My voice was shaky and unsettled.
“Max?”
“No, Roger. That’s what he did when I cried about missing my family.”
He moved closer to me, “I’m so sorry Nick. That must have been a horrible experience.”
“I guess so horrible that I blocked it out, until now.” I looked over at him, “I guess now that I know the truth, more memories are going to come flooding back. I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“We’ll be here for you when it happens.” He gave me a sympathetic smile and that’s when I realized I was acting just like the little kid he accused me of being.
“I know you don’t think I can handle this Kev…”
“I just don’t want anything to happen to you or the others. I want us all to come out of this in one piece.”
“I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to the guys.”
He smiled at me again, “I know. I just worry, it’s my thing.”
I had to laugh at that. He was so right. He was very good at his thing. Wow, that sounded dirty. I can’t believe I’m letting my mind go right down the gutter even after all I’ve been through but I guess I am a hormonal teenager.
The few remaining hours or darkness were spent just sitting up and talking to Kevin as if we were on a plane or in a hotel waiting for an interview to happen. As Nickolas slept on the other couch, I told Kevin about the little things I remembered from my time in captivity, things that just suddenly came to me as if they were just there waiting all along to be purged from my memory.
Roger hated me and the very idea of me. He hated the fact that Max brought me back to his sister. He also made it clear from the very beginning he wanted nothing to do with me at all. He showed me this by kicking me in the side. I actually placed my hand to my ribs, remembering the pain I felt when he did it. He kicked me like a soccer ball. He would also steal my toys and throw them away when I would try to play with him or laugh and have any kind of fun.
He was not a nice man.
Kevin just sat and listened, I could tell some of the things I was telling him really made him angry but he didn’t let his emotions get to him. He would just nod and let me talk because he could tell that’s what I needed to do.
I also went on about how confused I was about my parents and how conflicted I felt about my mother. How part of me wished she was still dead because it was somehow easier to deal with then knowing she had been just out of my reach this entire time.
I know I give Kevin a lot of crap, but he‘s a good friend. I really should try to be nicer to him. Maybe after this is all over, I will be.
The first sign of daylight brought my father back into the kitchen where I was sitting and drinking a cup of coffee, or really I should say a cup of sugar and milk with some coffee in there somewhere.
“Are you ready to get to work?” He asked as he sat beside me.
After we all ate some breakfast he took me down to the basement where he showed me some basic self defense moves, just in case something were to go wrong. He assured me that most likely I wouldn’t have to do anything as long as Max wasn‘t made aware that this was a plan.
“If Max figures it out…”
“Dad, he won’t. I promise you!”
“But if he does, you have to promise me that no matter what happens, you will make a run for it. Leave everyone else behind and just book it out of there.”
I was surprised by what he had asked me to do. There was no way in hell I would ever consider leaving the guys behind but I was afraid that if I admitted this to him he would find a reason for me not to go ahead with our plan.
“I promise.” I crossed my fingers behind my back…yeah just like a damn kid. So sue me!
“You’re lying to me, but I can’t blame you. I’d never leave my friends behind either.”
He tousled my hair, “We won’t be too far away. Nickolas will be on your tail the entire time and all he has to do is make one call to me and I’ll come in.”
“It’s all going to work out Dad, don’t worry.”
He smiled and started to walk back up the steps, “Dad…”
He stopped and turned around. “Yeah, son?”
“Do you think after this is all over, we’ll just go back to being a regular family? All of us, including Nickolas and Mom?”
“That’s what I’m hoping for kiddo.”
Me too.
I found myself staring at the clock, counting down the minutes until I was supposed to make that call. It was a weird feeling, part anxiety, and part excitement. Even though I was going back to Max, it was going to be nice to see the guys again. Just to know that they were okay would make this thing a whole lot easier.
One thing I noticed as the hours ticked slowly away was how my mother pretty much avoided me ever since I had gotten there. With the exception of her telling us her story she barely said two words to me this entire time. I was trying not to even think about it, but my emotions were getting the best of me so about thirty minutes before Nickolas and I were about to leave, I walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Hey mom.”
She was in the middle of folding clothes and seemed kind of surprised by the interruption. “Hi sweetie, what’s going on?”
That seemed like such a stupid question I almost wanted to laugh, but I knew it was just one of those things you said when you had no idea what else to say. That made me sad.
“Nothing, I just wanted to come in and say I’m glad you’re not dead.” Wow, once again you have to re-examine your life when you can use a sentence like that as a starting point of a conversation.
She smiled at me, “You must hate me for leaving you. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“I don’t hate you, Mom. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel. I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“You’ve always been like that honey. You really think things through before you make your mind up about something.”
“I do? Everyone else seems to think I’m erratic and irresponsible.”
“That’s only because they don’t know you like I do.”
Or maybe it’s the other way around, but I didn’t say that. I kind of liked her logic on this one anyway, even though I knew it was wrong.
“Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to say goodbye before I left for the hotel.”
She stood up and grabbed me in a hug, “Be safe honey, please. I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you again.”
I liked the way her hug fit me. It seemed like a puzzle piece that had fallen under the couch for years and years and just had finally shown up again out of the blue. She pulled away first, I realized if it was up to me we probably would have hugged for another hour or so.
“Love you Mom.”
She smiled at me, “Love you too!”
Nickolas walked into the room. I have a feeling he was standing there and watching the whole scene unfold. I wonder if he was jealous. If I was him, I probably would be, but then again we have already established the fact that I’m just a kid.
“We should get going.”
“Yeah, okay.” Now that it was finally time to set this plan into motion, part of me just wanted to stay behind with my family.
My father placed his hand on my back, “Just remember what I taught you. This will all be over soon and we can get on with our lives, I promise.”
“I hope so!”
Kevin then walked over to me and gave me a hug, “Nick, be careful!”
“I will.”
I turned back towards my mother and father who were both saying their goodbyes to my brother. I wish I had a camera. I wanted us to take a family picture before we left. I almost asked if anyone had a camera but I decided it would have killed the ‘manly plan of action.’
I wish I had taken that picture.
Nickolas began walking my way, “Okay, let’s do this thing little brother.”
That was the first time he ever called me that. “Okay!” I saluted him, not sure why. Maybe because I’m a major in the Army of Dork!
I took one last look at my mom, dad and Kevin and gave them my reassuring smile. I hope they didn’t read all the doubt and fear I had going on in my head at the time.
We were silent for most of our walk to our destination but once we arrived at the payphone he picked up the receiver and handed it to. “Are you ready?”
I took the receiver into my hands and held it tight, “As I’ll ever be, I guess.” I dialed the number to our hotel room and waited as it rang and rang and rang…
