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Chapter Fourteen - July 3

It was ten o'clock in the morning and the sound of that damn rattletrap car signaled Molly's arrival blocks before she actually pulled up to the house. I opened the door and stared out. The car looked so out of place next to all the swank manicured homes on the block.

Molly had opened the trunk and pulled out two suitcases by the time I talked myself into going outside. Shelby slid out from the backseat. Today she was wearing a tiara, sunglasses, cowboy boots and a handyman's belt. If the princess got a flat tire in the middle of a hot Texas desert she would be all set.

I walked down the steps slowly.

"Need some help?"

Molly hoisted both suitcases.

"I have two boxes in the trunk," she explained.

I raised an eyebrow. "That it?"

"That's all we brought," she said. I stacked the boxes on top of each other and slammed the trunk shut. I feared for a second that the impact would collapse the entire car.

No such luck.

I walked past Molly and headed inside.

"I'll show you your room," I explained. Peeking around the boxes, I headed up the staircase. I heard two sets of footsteps behind me.

I stopped at the door to the right of the nursery and pushed it open. There was a queen size bed and a small bed I had put together for Shelby. I walked in and set the boxes on the floor.

"There's a personal bath right off of the room," I explained.

"TV!"

As Molly set down the suitcases, Shelby grabbed the remote off the nightstand, plopped on the small bed, pushed the sunglasses to the tip of her nose, and flipped on the TV. I saw the channels flip until she settled onto a VH1 Behind the Music special. It was like she was five going on fifteen.

"She's good for the next hour," Molly said. All I could do was nod. The damn kid threw me for a loop.

"Well, let me introduce you to Ally and Joe," I said.

We walked out of the room and into the nursery. I scooped Jonah up first.

"This is Jonah," I said.

"He's adorable," Molly said with a smile. She held out her arms.

I know it sounds weird, but I was feeling possessive. Aside from visits from the grandmothers (in which Ro's mom constantly reminded me that she was just waiting for me to screw up), I had pretty much done it alone. I hesitated for another second, but I finally handed him over.

She smiled down at him. I picked up Ally. She was always having a bad hair day. I swear her hair was growing up instead of out.

"Hi sweet baby," I said. I knew she couldn't hear me, but I didn't care. I kissed her cheek gently. Her eyes flew open; I think I startled her. Her bottom lip quivered but when she saw my face, she drew up a big shaky breath and calmed herself down.

"This is Ally," I said. Molly looked over.

"Look at all that hair."

"Yeah it's kind of unruly."

"It just needs to be put up in a bow."

"I've tried that, it doesn't work."

"You just don't know the trick."

"The trick?"

"Here, switch me."

We did an awkward switch of the babies. I tried to avoid too much skin-to-skin contact. Molly bounced Alexis gently and headed to the changing table. I stood behind her.

"You gather the hair like this," she instructed. "Now the key is the right size rubber band. Do you have rubber bands?"

It was the strangest thing; even though it had been months, my wrist started to tingle as if I had just snapped a band.

"I have some in the bathroom."

"What size?"

"Large."

"No, that won't do."

She studied the ribbon in her hand. I tried to follow how she wrapped the ribbon, but after the first three turns, I couldn't remember if it was clockwise or counterclockwise. She made a tight little knot and took her hands off it. It stayed put. It was a little off to the side, but it made Ally look like she was rocking the 80's look. I liked it.

"Much better," Molly said. She looked at me. I nodded.

"It looks good."

Molly picked Ally back up and there was a moment of awkward silence. Finally I cleared my throat.

"They're on a regular feeding schedule. I have three portable monitors that are all tied into the main system in this room. There's an emergency oxygen tank in the closet as well as a full first aid supply. Jonah needs to be held at a little steeper angle when you feed him otherwise he tends to throw up. Ally likes to be held close to the chest."

"Vibrations," Molly said with a nod.

"What?"

"She can feel the heartbeat and if you talk she'll sense the vibration pattern of your voice," Molly explained.

I had just thought it was a girl thing.

"That makes sense," I admitted.

I spent a couple more minutes going over basics and then we put the babies back in their cribs.

"Let me show you around the rest of the house," I said.

There were a couple places that I had designated off limits: specifically my room and the gaming room that I had made into a makeshift bedroom for Ro. I still hadn't removed the bed or her clothes. Hell, I hadn't even unpacked her suitcase from when she came home from the hospital. I didn't open the door when I explained that it was a 'no-go' zone; I knew just walking in would tear open the already raw wounds on my heart.

"After ninety days I'm going to evaluate how this is working," I finally said. The tour had ended in the living room where I had first interviewed her.

"That sounds fair," she said.

"And I appreciate honesty," I said.

"I don't waste time with lies," Molly said. "Bullshit doesn't work for me."

I studied her more intently than I probably should have. She was about a half foot shorter than me. If I could garner a guess, I'd say she was about a hundred and thirty pounds. C cup. The humidity had puffed her hair out like an afro. She wore very little makeup, but she still had the thickest set of eyelashes I had ever seen, especially for a redhead. She had glossy chestnut eyes that met mine without a hint of trepidation.

"Is there anything else?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, I think that's it. Let me know if you have any questions."

I turned to go back upstairs.

"I have one question."

I turned around.

"Yes?"

"I don't have to cook for you do I? Because I'm a horrible cook."

-----------------------

I found out quickly that having two virtual strangers living in your house was kind of uncomfortable. It wasn't like I walked around my house naked (well, not often), but I was mindful that the chance of bumping into Molly or Shelby was high. I spent quite a bit of time in my room. I took a nap. I watched golf.

When Ally or Joe cried, I still went to the nursery. Each time Molly had beaten me to it. Twice Shelby was with her. I observed a diaper change. Molly took the role of doctor and Shelby the nurse. The surgical instruments were replaced with commands such as 'Diaper, Wipe, Powder.' For such a little girl, Shelby was a good listener.

I went to bed around ten. I didn't feel like I had done anything productive today. For a couple hours, I twisted and turned fitfully. Thoughts of Ro plagued my mind. I wondered if she could see me now. I stared into the blackness, my heart racing.

By one o'clock in the morning, I couldn't take it anymore. I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. A night like this called for rocky road ice cream.

I had gutted the kitchen after Ro's death. I had flipped things completely around and changed all of the cabinets. Even with all the cosmetic changes, I could still picture her lying on the floor. Someone, I forget who, suggested I moved. But I couldn't do that. As horrific as the memory was, it was still a memory.

I was so lost in thought that I walked straight to the refrigerator and opened the freezer without seeing the little person at my kitchen table. When I saw the vacant spot where my ice cream always sat, I closed the door and turned around.

Shelby was sitting on three phone books on a kitchen chair. She was clutching her spoon like a dagger. Her face was covered in rocky road ice cream.

"Why are you awake?" I asked. She looked up at me.

"I wanted ice cream," she said. It made sense to me. I grabbed a spoon and walked over to the table. I sat across from her and dug in.

"How'd you get the ice cream out of the freezer?"

"I climbeded up on the chair and opened the door," she said. "Duh."

She was a smartass. I liked that. She took another messy bite and stared at me.

"Why do you have so many pictures drawed all over you?"

"Pictures?" I asked. I studied my arm. "Tattoos?"

She nodded.

It shouldn't have been a hard question, but I couldn't really explain to a five-year old the deeper meaning, expressionism, and quality of tattoo art.

"I like them," I finally said. It seemed to satisfy her. She licked the back of her spoon.

"My mom has four drawings," she said. I took another bite of ice cream.

"Really? What are they?"

Shelby pointed to the left side of her neck.

"She has two rainy drops on her neck. And she has flowers on her ankle. And..." Here Shelby's eyes grew wide. "She has a word on her BUTT!"

"What does the word say?" I asked. Shelby looked at me like I had just said something stupid.

"I don't know. I'm only five years old!"

I smiled. "I forgot."

We both dipped our spoons in the ice cream and took another bite. She was staring at me intently.

"What's up?" I asked. I rubbed my beard assuming I had a big glob of ice cream hanging there.

"Mommy readed me a story and you were in it," she blurted out. I smiled.

"What?"

"Mommy checkeded out a book from the lib-beary and you were in it."

I had no fucking clue what she was talking about.

"What was the book about?"

She shrugged. I had a feeling that her brain was shutting off from lack of sleep. I put the lid on the ice cream.

"Why don't you go back upstairs and try to sleep?" I whispered. She hopped off the chair and leaned into it to push it up to the table.

"Are you going to sleep?" she asked. I closed my eyes for a moment. With a pretend yawn, I nodded.

"Yup, I am."

Shelby put her hand on her hip. "Do you snore?"

"No. Do you?"

She shook her head.

"Okay then. Well, good night."

"Night!"

She headed towards the stairs. I stayed down in the kitchen to put the ice cream away and wash the spoons.

I know it's wrong, but as I wiped down the table my mind went back to the thought of a tattoo on Molly's ass. Once a guy gets information like that, it's kind of hard to forget.

It didn't seem possible that I was ever going to see Ro again, even in the afterlife.

I was sure I was going to hell.