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Chapter Thirty Five - March 1

"Do you have to go?"

I didn't know what was worse: kissing Jonah and Ally and walking out of their nursery before they realized what was really going on, or standing at the doorway with Shelby clinging to my legs with huge tears swimming in her eyes.

"You know it's not going to be for long," I said softly. "You need to help your mommy with the babies."

"But I'm the announcer! You can't do this without me!"

A big tear slid down her cheek.

"It's not going to be for long. Mommy and you and the babies are going to meet up with me in Italy. I'll take you to the Leaning Tower of Piza."

Shelby sniffled. "There's a tower of pizza in Italy?"

I laughed. "No, that's just what they call the tower. But they have good pizza."

She sighed dramatically. Slowly her arms left my leg.

"Well, don't slack off because we're not there," she warned. I smiled.

"I'll be on my best behavior."

"And you have to miss us."

I laughed. "I will miss you bunches."

"Shelby, what are you doing, silly girl?"

Molly walked out of the kitchen. She held out a push-pop. Shelby skipped over and took it.

"Just giving Mr. J. some important instructions," she said before she shoved the ice cream in her mouth.

Molly looked at me and I was suddenly faced with my third reason why leaving was agony. She walked up to me slowly. I took her hands.

"I'm going to miss you like crazy," I whispered.

"I'll miss you, too. But everything will be fine. Next time you see Ally she might even be talking."

I laughed. "Do you work miracles that fast?"

A smile played on her lips. "Sometimes."

We kissed, but it didn't seem like long enough. Hell, forever didn't seem like long enough.

"I'll meet you in Italy," I said. Molly laughed.

"You better have a bottle of good wine. I'm going to need a drink after flying alone with three kids."

I laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

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By the time I got to the airport and saw everyone assembled there, I felt a little better. Nick and Howie were also kid-less and woman-less. Of course that meant that once we arrived in Germany that we would also be sharing a bus.

There were good points to living with Nick and there were bad points to living with Nick. I could say the same about Howie. Those two are completely yin and yang. The only fun part about the whole thing was that the chance of a Puerto Rican explosion was high.

Of course, I didn't help matters any. We were on our way to Rotterdam and Howie and our fill-in photographer, Sam were sleeping noisily. I slid out of my bunk at the same time Nick slid out of his.

"Can't sleep?" I whispered. He shook his head.

"You?"

"Negative."

I glanced over at the curtain that separated Sleeping Howie from us. I could just picture him laying there with his mouth wide open. I glanced back at Nick. He grinned.

"What's the plan?" I asked. I knew we were both thinking the same thing...

Prank.

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. I was thinking the old 'soap' routine, but I've already done it. Of course...

Nick crawled back into his bunk and I hear the telltale sound of his duffel bag unzipping. He came back a second later with a small bag in his hands.

"I accidentally repacked my stuff in Liv's tote. She forgot to take out her little makeup bag."

I couldn't help it; I grinned.

"Are you saying you want to glam up Ms. Dorough?" I whispered. Even though it was dark, I had a good hunch that Nick's eyes were sparkling with that mischievious glint that he got in his eyes whenever he wanted to piss the shit out of someone.

Nick and I went out to the living room and he laid out the contents of our arsonal. Lipstick, mascara, blush, eyeshadow, and nailpolish. I picked up the eyeshadow and nailpolish. Nick picked up the lipstick and blush.

"Let's do this," I whispered.

We practically tiptoed back to the bunk. Making sure that the overhead lights were as dim as they oculd be, I slowly pulled back the curtain.

Sure enough, Howie was laying there with his mouth open and his eye cracked just slightly. He could have made a good living as a freaky ass corpse in haunted houses around Halloween.

Nick and I didn't waste much time collaborating. We were both armed with two weapons. I had picked the ones that I knew the most about. Ever so slowly I pulled back Howie's covers at his feet. I stopped once his toes were free.

Luckily for me, Howie doesn't toss and turn a lot. I unscrewed the cap of pink (officially called 'Kiss Me 'Til I Blush) nailpolish and began to apply nice even strokes. Meanwhile, Nick was stroking Howie's face with the wide bristled blush brush. Nick was using way too much, but I wasn't about ready to stop and explain proper technique.

After I had successfully gotten one foot done. I took a break and watched Nick again. He lifted the cap of the lipstick and pushed the stick up. Ever so slowly he ran the stick along Howie's bottom lip.

Howie's mouth went closed and both of us held our breath. I almost pissed myself when a second later Howie licked his bottom lip, his eyebrows arched in pleasure, and he smiled. Nick covered his mouth and bent over outside the bunk. I saw his shoulders shaking like crazy.

Once I was sure I wasn't going to laugh out loud, I went back to work on Howie's second foot. Every so often he shifted, but I managed to get all ten toes to look luscious. I moved up to his face and opened the eyeshadow.

I picked a heavy shade of blue for his lids. In contrast to the horrible streaks of deep pink running across his cheekbones, he was looking like an instant drag queen. Nick squeezed in next to me and ran the lipstick over his front lip. Again we both had to stop for another lick and smile. Nick held the tube up to his nose and sniffed.

"I don't think this is one of those that tastes like anything," he whispered.

I shrugged. Obviously Howie got off on tasting wax.

We all had our thing.

Eventually Nick took the nailpolish and did a horribly crappy job on Howie's nails. We stood back and observed our handiwork.

"Not bad," I said.

"Not bad at all," Nick said. He took out his cellphone and took a picture. I ducked back, sure that the flash was going to wake him.

All I heard was a snore.

"Chicken," Nick whispered as he pulled Howie's curtains completely closed.

I snickered. After all that, I was actually tired. Nick and I did our Jizzle/Nizzle handshake.

"Night," Nick whispered.

"Night," I whispered back.

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"WHAT THE HELL? I'MMA GONNA KILL YOU GUYS!"

The curtain on my bunk was ripped back. I was staring at Howie and tried to look confused.

"Why do you look like a fuckin' Avon lady?" I asked innocently.

"NICK!"

Howie left my curtain hanging. I quickly grinned with Howie's back turned. I loved seeing Nick get reamed.

Howie yanked open his curtain. Sam peeked out from his sleepily.

"What's going on?"

"What did I do, man? Wow, you look pretty."

Even though I'm horrible at keeping secrets, I still do it better than Nick. I couldn't tell whether it was just the blush or not, but Howie's face was red. Even though Nick had height and weight on him, Howie dragged him out of his bunk by the shirt.

"What you think you're doing? Can't I even fucking get some sleep without you guys jacking around with me?"

"I didn't do nothing!" Nick said innocently. "It was AJ!"

Howie's head swiveled to me. I held up my hands and shook my head no.

"I know it was both of you. Don't think I was born yesterday."

Howie gave Nick a jab in the stomach which wasn't meant to do more than just make him double over dramatically. I heard heavy footsteps down the bus and the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut.

Nick and I started to laugh.

"Wow, that was the shittiest makeup job I've ever seen," Sam said. He pulled the curtains back and I heard him roll over on the mattress.

An hour later the three of us were in the sitting area of the bus. Howie was staring at his nails. I had given him a bottle of remover. He had about twenty wadded up tissues around him that were bright pink.

"You guys just wait," he said bitterly.

Nick and I shared a smile. Howie sucked at pranks. Except for that one time when he put that tiger bomb on Nick's earpiece after he tried to hide it in the crouch of Howie's pants. Now that had been ingenious.

Howie looked up.

"Oh, don't laugh," he said. "You both are at the top of my hit list."

I snorted. I guess Howie was part mob boss now.

"Is Leigh's dad 'The Godfather'?" I asked.

Howie snickered. "He makes a deal you can't refuse," he answered.

I sprawled out on the couch and Nick hooked up some new video game console. I couldn't keep up anymore. Nick probably ran over kids the first day the damn things came out. He tossed me a remote and we started testing out some of the new games.

Meanwhile Ms. Howie was still working on his nails.

I wasn't too concerned about revenge. It was a game that I was an expert at.

Howie was still a rookie.