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Chapter Fifteen - August 1

After almost a month, having Molly and Shelby in the house actually became routine. At least three nights a week I'd come downstairs in the middle of the night and share some rocky road ice cream with Shelby. Molly couldn't figure out why Shelby was gaining weight, but I wasn't about to admit to our ice cream capers.

My first visit to the audiologist with Ally had given me some hope. The specialist didn't see any reason not to do the implants. He just didn't think they should be done until her first birthday. In preemie time, that would be the mental age of a ten month old. Any speech delays would be minimal as long as the surgery was successfully. I had to believe it would be.

As the days came and went I never stopped missing Ro, but I also couldn't ignore the fact that I was still very much alive.

And male.

I was determined to keep my relationship with Molly purely professional. She was great with Ally and Joe, I adored her daughter, and she was great to talk to.

Unfortunately, I also couldn't deny that she was built like a brick shithouse. And that was what pushed me over the edge.

I woke up early in the morning. I had actually slept well. I walked out of my bedroom and towards the nursery. I heard cries.

So, obviously, did Molly. She ran into the nursery just as I was picking up Jonah. She was wearing only a towel. Her hair was still dripping wet from the shower. It hung in sensual damp curls.

My mouth went dry. If I was a dog, I would have probably looked for the nearest pillow to hump. Her tits threatened to spill out of the top of the wrap and her calf muscles were perfect. I thought again of the supposed tattoo on her ass. I turned quickly so she wouldn't see my arousal.

"I've got him," I said. I stared down at Jonah. If I was him and she had picked me up wearing that towel I would have yanked it down so fast it would have made her head spin.

"Thanks," she said. "Didn't know you were awake."

"No problem. It's under control."

I counted to ten before turning around. She was gone.

My boner was not.

After I quieted Jonah down I went back to my room and locked myself in for a couple hours. But it wasn't enough. I was backed up. Such a sexual person such as myself should never get backed up. Why?

Because I do something stupid, that's why.

I finally went downstairs around noon. Molly was in the kitchen. Every day she made macaroni and cheese for lunch. She wasn't kidding about being a lousy cook. Even freakin' mac and cheese tasted rubbery. It was like she actually managed to burn water. Shelby was lying on the floor with a large coloring book. She was wearing green Shrek ears, twenty bangle bracelets, and a bunny tail. She looked up.

"Whatcha doin?" she asked.

"What are you doing?"

"I asked you first!"

"I've got to go to a meeting," I said. She sat up and frowned.

"But it's lunch time!"

I walked by her and tugged at the Shrek ears. She held onto the headband for dear life.

"Eat my portion. I'll be back in a couple hours."

I turned to look at Molly. She pulled the wooden spoon out of the pot. Macaroni was stuck to it like glue.

"Call me on my cell if you need anything," I said. She smiled.

"We'll be fine. I have everything under control," she assured me. She looked left, then right.

"Where did I put that cheese packet?"

I headed out. For a full minute I sat in the car, my heart pounding. The blood was pounding against my eardrums. After sliding on a pair of shades and taking a deep breath, I turned the key in the ignition and took off.

It had been a long time since I had done what I was going to do. I hoped that the protocol hadn't changed. I cruised into downtown Tampa. I turned down a steet I hadn't been down in years and slowed. The neon sign flashing 'Massage Parlor' up ahead looked exactly the same as I remembered it.

I parked and walked into the building. There was a tiny front room with a large desk. A beautiful black woman with huge fake breasts was filing her nails. She glanced over at me and flashed a smile.

"Hi. What can I do for you this afternoon?"

I picked at the skin around my nails. I was glad she couldn't see my eyes. They always gave so damn much away.

"I was wondering if you have any...red-hot specials today," I said. I placed particular emphasis on the 'magic' words. The woman's eyes lit up.

"Well, now that you mention it, Bambi has a red-hot special."

"What's the bargain?"

"An hour for five. Best price in weeks."

"Is that the basic or the full?"

"Full."

I pulled out my wallet and counted out five one hundred dollar bills. I slid them across the counter. The woman picked them up and held them up to the light. When she was satisfied, she nodded. She got up and opened the door.

"Second door on the left."

I brushed past her. The hall had dingy florescent lighting that hung low. I stopped at the second door on the left. For those that were a little slow, it even said 'Left 2.' I opened the door a crack and slid in.

The room was basked in a half-light. Most of the bulbs were burnt out. A couple reeking candles were lit.

Bambi was lounging on the couch smoking a cigar. Her long straight red hair hung halfway down her back. Her tits, obviously fake, burst out of a skimpy red see-through bra. Black panties, a garter belt, and hooker heels completed the ensemble. I'll be damned if the heels didn't remind me of Shelby for a second. I shook my head to clear the thought.

Now wasn't the time.

I stood silently; Bambi stood and ground out the cigar with the tip of her heel. She sauntered over and placed her hands on her curvy hips. Her heavily painted red lips curved into a smile.

"You're the best thing I've seen in weeks," she said.

"I heard you give the full treatment."

Her hands reached out and grabbed at my belt. She tugged me towards her and I obligingly stepped forward.

"I have no limitations," she said. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up against me. She wasn't a true red-head; her hair had that fakey out of the box look. But it was going to have to do. I pressed my lips hard against hers. The aftertaste of the cigar lingered on her lips but I fought against that.

I didn't waste a lot of time. After all, I only had an hour. I stripped her quickly and I sure as hell didn't take a lot of time getting out of my clothes. I sank back on the couch while she straddled me. I closed my eyes and dug my fingers into her back. I imagined a tattoo right there across her ass.

She rode me like a true professional. I leaned my head back, my eyes still closed, picturing a completely different redhead. As I imagined Molly in my dreams arching her body back instead of the hooker, I let out a little cry. I rolled Bambi into the couch and fucked the shit out of her until my sanity returned.

That was the part that sucked. With the sanity came the guilt. With the guilt came the insecurity.

Luckily, there's not a lot of small talk that needs to happen when you pay for sex. I got dressed and left an extra little tip on the arm of the couch. She took the twenty and rolled it between her fingers.

"Don't forget to ask for me next time," she said. The thick layer of red lipstick had hardly been chipped away. Hookers must shell out a good deal of profit on long-lasting lipshine.

"Will do," I said.

I knew I wouldn't go back to her.

When I got home I went in the backway and right up to my room. I stood in the shower for a long time. I will never admit it to anyone, but for several minutes I leaned against the wall and cried.

I was pathetic.

But it wouldn't happen again.

---------------------------------------

August 22

Over the next couple weeks things returned to the status quo. I spent some time in the studio for the first time in forever putting down tracks for a possible second solo album. Jonah and Ally both began to smile on a regular basis. Jonah even rolled over. I didn't worry that their milestones were coming a month or so later than normal. I knew eventually they'd make that ten week difference up.

After spending an hour with the babies, lying on the floor and entertaining them with toys, I headed downstairs. Molly was hovering over Shelby, her big hand over Shelby's small one tracing on a piece of paper with a pencil.

"This is the right way you write an S," Molly explained. Shelby made a face. Today she was wearing fake hoop earrings, a halo, and flippers.

"That's not how a Shelby 'S' looks," she argued.

I stood there for a second smiling at the look of exasperation on Molly's face. I think I stood there for a little too long; her head turned in my direction. I rolled my shirt between my fingers. It was another bad habit.

"I'm headed to a business meeting, slash, birthday party," I explained. "I'll be back in four or five hours."

"Alright," she said. I headed towards the door.

"Be careful!" she called. I stopped.

It was so...domestic. It was also something Ro always used to say to me. I turned around. She was blushing. Her face was almost as red as her hair. She had caught her own guffaw.

"I will," I said gently. Before she could look up I headed out.

Nick and Brian had planned a birthday party for Howie at this Mexican joint called La Hacienda. The place was extremely tacky. I had a feeling Howie was being set up.

I was right.

After being sung to by the entire staff, Howie had cake smashed in his face and was thrown across a donkey and spanked.

I'm not making it up. Even I couldn't make shit like that up. Brian and Nick practically pissed themselves they were laughing so hard. I've got to admit, it was pretty fucking funny.

After Howie grumbled and went all pissy Puerto Rican on them, we ended up at a miniature golf center for Go-Karts. Nick got run off the road and at one point I swear Brian was going backwards. Howie had his eye on the prize and finished first.

Everyone except Kevin and I had a date. I watched Howie scoop up Leigh and swing her around. I felt a wash of loneliness sweep over me. Suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Want to play miniature golf?" Nick asked.

Kev checked his watch. "I've got to catch a flight back. Addy stayed back home with Mason. He's helping her make table decorations."

"I better get going too," I said.

"You both are party poopers," Nick declared.

I let him rib me a little bit more and then we all did handshakes and slaps goodbye. I headed out with Kev.

"I'll see you at the wedding right?" he asked.

The last thing I wanted to do was go to a wedding.

But this was Kevin. He had saved my life. The least I could do was fly to Kentucky and watch him get married.

"Of course," I said.

He gave me a hearty back-slap hug and we got in our cars. He took off towards the airport; I headed off towards home.

At least, I initially headed towards home. As I drove, I couldn't get the thought of the other guys out of my mind. They were all so happy. Even if they had the shittiest day in the world they still came home and had a wife there to kiss it all better.

What did I have?

By the time I actually focused on the road again, I realized I had managed to drive into the seedy part of town. The sun had set a couple hours ago and the nightlife was beginning to spring up all over.

I blame the sudden hit of depression for what I did next. As I was driving around, I saw a petite blonde in a black minidress and boots leaning against a light post. She blew a huge gum bubble, her mouth forming a perfect O. I slowed down. I knew a hooker when I saw one. She popped the bubble and straightened up. I rolled down the window.

She walked towards me with the practiced gait that only models and prostitutes could pull off. She leaned down into the window; I got a direct shot right down her top. She had a great rack.

"What can I do for ya?" she asked. I smiled. Even though it was night, I had another pair of sunglasses on. They were like my mask. I was safe behind them.

"I'm looking for some fun," I said. I licked my lips. I still tasted the salt from the restaurant chips. She smiled back at me.

"How much are you looking to spend?"

I pulled out my wallet and showed her a few hundred dollars. Street operations usually cost less than those in buildings. Lower operating costs, y'know.

"Nice. What do you want to get for that?"

"How much can you give me?"

"It depends on the fun."

"Let's go to a hotel and I'll show you what I mean," she continued.

A half hour later, I was face down on the hotel bed being handcuffed.

The blonde broad wasn't a hooker.

She was an undercover cop.

I struggled to keep from vomiting on the ride to the station. After I had a mugshot taken and got fingerprinted, the female cop handed me the phone.

"You get one call. Make it count."

I sat staring at the phone. Who the fuck was I going to call?

Certainly not my mom.

I squeezed my hand into a fist. This was a nightmare. I slowly punched in a number and listened to the rings.

"Hello?"

There was a moment of relief. But just a moment.

"Nick?"

"AJ?" I could hear the concern. I sighed.

"I need you to come down to the police station. I was just fucking arrested."