I met the girl who's now my wife a little more than 5 years ago in the small suburb of Brentwood, Tennessee, just outside of Nashville. At the time, the Backstreet Boys were in between touring with Unbreakable and recording This is Us and somewhere along the line I'd gotten a wild hair to record a solo country album. Now I'm still not exactly sure where the idea came from, and of course you know by now that the album never actually came to be, but at the time it seemed like a good idea, which made moving to Nashville seem like an even better idea. So I bought a house in Brentwood to temporarily settle down in the hopes of immersing myself in the country music culture.
Or so I thought.
Looking back I have to believe it was fate stepping in, leading me to that little house on Oden Court, in the middle of nowhere. At least, in the middle of nowhere important. God knows I certainly could have afforded the luxury of much more... a house right smack in the middle of Nashville even, with the likes of the Carrie Underwoods and the Brad Paisleys and the Kenny Chesneys. But I wanted something a little less... something a little more down to earth. And Brentwood was definitely just that. I mean, nothing about the city of Brentwood screamed to the partying personality of one, Nick Carter. It was, in fact, a very calming city, filled tree-lined parks and walking trails that spanned for miles, and surrounded by small local businesses and an incredibly popular YMCA. So what I mainly ended up doing during my days in B-Wood was simply walking around becoming "one with nature", and exercising. Which was exactly what I needed at that time in my life.
Over time it became quite clear to me that Brentwood was a little place in my life that happened just at the time in my life when I needed it most.
And now I know why.
Of course, I could sit here and lie and tell you that meeting Jenna was like love at first sight. Or I could paint some big elaborate picture of how I realized the right away that I was going to spend the rest of my life loving her. That she would be the woman I would marry and have children with... but that's not the case at all.
It wasn't love at first sight, and there was no grand moment of realization for me. Honestly, at that point in my life I would have laughed my ass off if anyone had tried to tell me the two of us would ever fall in love.
The truth was, on the day we met, love was the very last thing on my mind. I'd spent my whole day unloading boxes from the moving van and I was sweaty and exhausted and I almost didn't even answer the door when she knocked. But I did, and there she stood. My next door neighbor - a sweet, kind-hearted country girl, who apparently still believed in old fashioned values; like baking a cake to welcome someone new into the neighborhood. And when she stood there on my front porch that afternoon in her plaid button down blouse and blue jean skirt with the bright orange flip flops that didn't match at all but were likely comfortable as hell, and she handed me the lopsided chocolate cake before introducing herself by saying, "Hey, I'm Jenna, I live next door... just so you know, you don't have to actually eat the cake if you don't want to, but I definitely had to, you know, deliver it... because well... it's tradition"... and we both laughed as I thanked her and she waved goodbye, heading quickly back in the direction of her own home, the very last thing I ever would have expected was to someday fall in love with and marry her. Especially when at that point in my life I didn't even believe in true love or marriage or any of the number of things that came along with either of them.
To this day I can't tell you exactly when or how, or why we fell in love. I just remember how our friendship began, on that windy spring day, with that simple gesture of kind tradition. And I remember how after that, we would always stop to talk to each other anytime we saw each other, and being neighbors, we saw each other quite often. The best part though, when we stopped to talk, it was always simple and easy... like we'd been talking for years and had no worries about getting past the awkwardness of first impressions. It was true, our earliest conversations were short and sweet and consisted mainly of the little things like the weather or our dogs, but we quickly moved past all that onto more advanced topics, like how irritating the crotchety old guy across the street could be.
And then, one day, a couple months after we first met, we spent an entire afternoon sitting on my back deck and talking for hours while Rocko, Olivia and Samson (the dogs of course) skittered around the backyard. It was the first time we'd ever really talked... I mean, really, really talked, and in between glasses of fresh orange juice and rounds of fetch with the pups, I learned so much more about her.
We were a lot alike it turned out, Jenna and me. We both grew up in large families, although admittedly, my four siblings had nothing on her nine brothers - the youngest of whom was 17 years younger than she was. We were both the oldest in our families, and nearly the same age (I was born in January of '80, she was born in March). We both grew up in broken homes where domestic violence was a frequent and unfortunate occurence - though again, my situation paled in comparison to hers. Her father sounded far worse than my mother ever could have been. And then, neither of us ever really got the chance to experience a childhood, or more especially, the chance to grow up and like a normal teenager.
At the time in my life when I was being thrust into show business, Jenna was expected to help raise her younger brothers while her parents spent time on what Jenna eye rollingly referred to a their "2 year vacation to get their acts together." Otherwise known as one long assed stint in rehab.
I glanced at Jenna, seated in the lounge chair beside mine on my back deck, the sun reflecting off the tears that had made their way into her eyes -- no doubt the topic of conversation -- and saw a completely different girl than the neighbor I thought I'd known. I saw her as a helpless, hopeless teenager, the weight of the world resting on her shoulders, and I couldn't imagine what it must have felt like for her. She was talking about a life - a life of chasing toddlers and raising siblings and dealing with parental drama - a life I'd known a little about, only, in retrospect, after listening to Jenna describe her own teenage years, I realized I truly did only know a little.
I shook my head, "That sucks that you had to go through all of that," I whispered, rubbing my hands together in my lap, uncertain of what to say next.
She smiled then and looked up at me. "It's okay... I mean, I think I turned out alright. At least, I hope I did."
I smiled back. "I think you're doing alright." I watched as she smiled sheepishly at me. "How did you do it?" I asked, and she raised her eyebrows in question.
"Do what?"
"How did you break free of your family... get out when you did?" I thought about my own family and the years that they'd tried to hold me down... to take away my well earned money. It made me angry just to think about those wasted years.
Jenna smiled again and nodded her head, "I worked my ass off." She laughed and I laughed back. "But honestly..." she continued, "it was only through sheer determination and the knowledge that I never wanted to end up like my parents that I pushed myself to become a better person. I still can't believe I made it through high school. But I did. Perhaps I didn't have the best grades... I mean, I made my fair share of C's and missed my fair share of classes... but those were hard earned C's, and at least they helped me get through."
"What'd you do after graduating?" I asked, genuinely curious to hear more at this point.
Jenna smiled and I could see the nostalgia settle in her eyes. "Well," she sighed, "I became the first person in my whole family to ever go to college."
"Wow!" I nodded, "Now that is something pretty damn special."
"It wasn't easy," she shook her head as she pulled the ball from Olivia's mouth and tossed it far across the yard, "I mean... I struggled to make ends meet and at times I really felt like giving up, but I was determined not to end up on the streets that I somehow always managed to get by. And in the end it all worked out better than I could have anticipated. I mean, I only just finally graduated last year with my degree in medicine. And of course, when I did graduate, only two of my brothers showed up to support me."
I couldn't help but imagine what that must have felt like for Jenna, going through all she'd gone through, doing all that hard work and making it all the way and then in the end not even feeling supported. I mean, at least most of the way I'd had the support of my family, even if it wasn't with the best of intentions. I paused for a moment thinking back on what she'd said and then, it dawned on me, "Medicine?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as I realized that I'd never really taken the time to ask Jenna what she did for a living. I mean, my life was a pretty open book, at least when it came to my profession, "Nick Carter" isn't exactly an unheard of name... but Jenna Palumbo is a different story.
Jenna laughed, "Yes, medicine. I guess I've never talked about my job before."
I shook my head.
"Well, I'm an OB/GYN, so I work with pregnant women... only I'm a high risk OB, so I work mainly with who have high risk pregnancies." Jenna explained.
I nodded curiously, "I never would have pegged you for the baby delivering type."
She laughed again, "Well Mr. Carter, I guess you've still got a lot to learn."
Of course, Jenna had been right. There was so very much left to learn. For both of us.
We started spending more time together after that day... watching movies, having cookouts when the weather permitted of course, and taking the dogs for walks together. I honestly can't tell you when things changed, when we went from being neighbors to being more than just neighbors, honestly, I think it just kind of happened gradually over time. Looking back I can remember little moments... moments when I'd be walking by my kitchen window and I'd peek out just to see if she was in her yard, or when I'd come home from being out somewhere and I'd check to see if her car was in the driveway as I drove by. And I'm positive there was a time when my heart skipped a beat or two every time I did see her there in her garden, or each time her car was there in the driveway... I just don't think I noticed it for what it was at the time.
A few months after meeting her, after spending time with her and talking to her, Jenna volunteered to watch over the house while I went away for a few weeks on tour. I gladly accepted, feeling better just knowing there'd be someone there to grab the papers from the porch and look after the place. My friends thought I was nuts trusting a total stranger to look after my belongings... but that was just it... I did Jenna. And trust wasn't something I handed out easily. And of course, when I returned home to a safe house, a stack of neatly piled mail and newspapers, and a freshly baked cake just waiting for my return, it became easier to trust her every time I left.
I mean, even I, cold-hearted Nick, can't pretend it didn't feel good coming home to someone... even if that someone was technically just my next door neighbor.
And then, things changed. I remember coming home that September afternoon, two days earlier than anticipated due to a cancelation in our scheduling. I remember being beyond thrilled and looking forward to a few weeks off before the next leg of touring. I pulled into my driveway and noticed right away that Jenna's car was parked in hers.
"Awesome!" I thought. I could go ahead and get my mail so I wouldn't have to bother her when she was getting ready for her night shift. And of course... I could see her too.
I distinctly rememeber the beat of my heart... it's rhythm speeding up rather drastically, as I waited on her front porch after ringing the bell. It took a few minutes for her to come, she was dressed in a pair of sweats and a tight white t-shirt, her hair disheveled the way it always was after we'd gone for a long walk or to the Y to excercise together.
And I remember thinking in that moment, for the first time ever, that she looked incredibly hot.
"Oh my God," she startled when she realized it was me, "You weren't supposed to be back until Thursday!" She blew the hair that had fallen into her face out of her eyes as she gestured me inside and gave me a quick hug.
I laughed, "I know... we got done a little early. I hope I'm not disturbing you."
"Not at all..." but then she made a dejected face before I could say anything else... "it's just I didn't get to bake your cake..."
"Oh. Well that's okay," I laughed again and she shook her head.
"Not okay?" I questioned and she shook her head again.
"Yeah... I guess I kinda ruined the tradition. Sorry?" I stuck out my hand in a sign of defeat and apology.
She smiled and suddenly her face lit up like she'd gotten a grand idea. She gestured for me to sit on the couch, "Wait here."
I obliged, watching curiously as she disappeared into the kitchen.
She returned a few minutes later, carrying a plate with a little mound of something iced.
I raised my eyebrow, "What's this?"
She rolled her eyes... "What and ruin the surprise? Just take a bite!"
"Err... I'm not sure I trust this..." I laughed. Seriously though, I didn't. A lump covered in icing when she'd not but two seconds ago told me she didn't have cake... yeah... no!
"What if I bite one end and you bite the other?"
"Are you serious?" Was she serious!?
She winked and nodded. I shrugged and said okay. I mean, why not? Besides, I had to admit, that was kinda hot.
She held one end and I took the other and together we bit each end simultaneously. Or at least what I thought would be simultaneously.
"A twinkie!?" I snorted when I came up with a mouth full of icing, spongy cake and creme filling. Jenna bursted into laughter, "it's cake isn't it?"
I shook my head when I noticed she hadn't taken a bite at all. I couldn't help myself but scoop a finger full of filling and smear it on the tip of her nose.
And that's when she leaned in and kissed me.
And that's when I knew I was in love.
A year later came perhaps the greatest moment of joy in my life to that date.
Our wedding day.
October 31st, 2011.
A Halloween wedding with a theme to match. The church decorated with fall foliage and pumpkins. Flowers of all different yellows and oranges lining the altar. The groomsmen dressed in traditional black tuxes and the bridesmaids in bright orange dresses with boquets of white carnations. And I stood there at the front, surrounded by my best friends, watching as Jenna walked down the aisle, in her flowing white gown with her own boquet of bright orange roses, and a smile that lit up the room, and I realized in that moment that I'd never been happier in my whole entire life.
I stood there and listened as the priest spoke. I repeated my vows and she repeated hers and we both spoke the words, "I do" that would join us together... forever... and we kissed more passionately than we'd ever kissed before.
And I never thought I'd hear the words "Mr. and Mrs. Nickolas Carter"... but I heard them then, and I never knew it was even possible to be so happy. But I so was.
And then the reception where the tables were decorated with jack-o-laterns and our caked was topped with the characters Jack and Sally from Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas, and though we danced our first dance to Jenna's favorite song -- "Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk -- we rounded out the night with some good old fashioned Monster Mash and Thriller.
It was the most amazing, awesome, incredible night of my life...
And in it, I felt true joy.
