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Chapter One Hundred-Five
Point of View: AJ


When our eyes met, I saw Kayla's every emotion and feeling in hers. It was as though she were asking for permission to feel the things she was feeling, or to at least confirm I was feeling it, too.

I couldn't do that to Nick, though.

I stood up and took my tray to the trash, dumping what was left of the food and threw the tray on a pile on top of the bin. Without turning back towards Kayla, I moved out of the cafeteria, sweat forming on the back of my neck.

It was ridiculous, I'd only just met her.

There was something about Kayla that was different than any other woman I'd met - at least in an extremely long time - in that I felt an almost magnetic connection toward her. It's just because she's forbidden, I told myself. But I knew better. It was more than that, it was a commonality, a similarity. It was the way I was able to speak slower, not rushing my words like I sometimes had a tendency to do. It was that I wasn't being that persona that I usually was around women. I wasn't being AJ, I was being Alex, someone who I reserved for only the people I felt the closest to. Which, by all accounts, should not have been Kayla at this point. Like I said, I'd only just met her... but it was like her personality naturally drew the persona out of me the way peroxide draws pus from a cut, leaving only the real me behind.

But Nick was in love with her. Nick, my little brother by all accounts, one of my very best friends, one of the few who stuck by me through everything I've ever been though. Nick, who was locked up in jail, whose house had burned down, whose life was in broken pieces on the floor. Nick, who, instead of helping, I was stealing his girlfriend's heart.

In my defense, though, I wasn't really trying to steal her.

I was halfway down the corridor back to the elevators when Kayla came running up behind me, gasping for breath.

"AJ," she begged, "Wait..."

I didn't slow. I didn't want her to catch up. I wanted to get to my car, to drive away, to remove myself from the temptation. Just like being at bar and having to remove myself from the alcohol because temptation was too strong, I needed to go now.

Right fucking now.

Kayla had nearly caught up as I hit the down arrow on the elevator. The doors slid opened and I quickly stepped in and hit the door close button, hoping the elevator doors would shut before she got in, but she squeaked in just before they closed.

We faced each other as the doors dinged, the room feeling even smaller than it usually would have.

Kayla stared at me. I swallowed.

She moved forward slowly towards me, her palm hit the stop elevator button and the car jolted as it froze on its pulleys. I backed against the wall. Kayla leaned toward me.

Our noses bumped slightly as Kayla pressed her mouth on mine. I stood stoic and still, not kissing back, but not pushing her away, either. I felt my eyes drift closed... Kayla's mouth was warm against mine, her lips soft. She felt hesitant against my mouth; she was testing me, seeing if I fit. Slowly, she sank into me more, her mouth pressing harder, her hands resting on my chest.

I didn't move. I couldn't move. Every part of me was caught up in the tug of war between the angel and devil on my shoulders.

Kayla bit my lower lip and dragged it down with her teeth gently as she lowered herself away from my mouth, her eyes looking up at me, waiting for a reaction. She pulled away completely, then, and stood in front of me awkwardly, biting her own lip now.

She waited.

I breathed. It was harder than it sounds - the breathing. My body was on sensory overload. Every part of me had something to say about what had just happened.

Finally, without saying a word, I hit the elevator start button, and the car started moving along its cables again.

Kayla moved away.

When the elevator doors opened on ground level, Kayla ran out of the car and disappeared down the hall going to Zoe's room. I watched her go. I didn't follow her. Instead, I went to my car and drove away from the temptation.