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Chapter One Hundred-Six
Point of View: Brian


I was just parking the Jeep in front of Nick's lawyer's office, Desi in the passenger seat, when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket, making me jump. One of these days I'm gonna remember it's in that pocket, I vowed to myself as I pulled it out, intending to click ignore unless it was Leighanne.

LA Corrections Fac, Los Angeles, CA.

I stared at it for a moment, dread washing over me like water from a shower. Nick's expression when he said "Soon?" crossed through my mind, and my heart nearly stopped. I flipped the phone opened. "Hello?!" I gasped. I felt Desi look at me funny.

"Good afternoon, my name is Officer Bryant. I'm calling from the Los Angeles Corrections Facility. Is Brian Littrell available?" he asked, mispronouncing my last name 'Lit-Trell'.

"Speaking," I said, my heart racing.

I'm Nick's emergency contact. They'd call me if there was an emergency. There much be an emergency. No, no emergency. Of course not. No. No emergency. Impossible. They could be just patching me through. Does Nick get phone calls? Can he make phone calls? Would an officer do that? Or would that be left up to an operator? Does Nick even know my cell phone number by heart since he always uses speed dial?

"Sir, we need to ask you to come down to the facility as soon as possible," the officer said, his voice level, void of emotion.

"Why? What happened? Is Nick okay?" I asked rapid-fire.

The officer hesitated. "There's been a --" he paused, "An incident."

"An incident?" I repeated.

Desi was staring at me, his mouth taught, his eyes concerned.

"Yes, an incident," officer Bryant repeated.

"What kind of incident?" I demanded to know.

He hesitated, then answered, "I'm not at liberty to tell you over the phone, sir. We need you to come down to the facility. Immediately."

"I'm on my way," I replied. I turned on the Jeep.

"Just go to the main visitor's reception desk, and she'll tell you where to go. They'll be expecting you."

When I'd hung up, Desi looked at me, concerned. "What happened?" he asked.

"An incident," I quoted.

"He wouldn't say what?" asked Desi.

I shook my head. "He said he needed me there immediately."

"Is he okay?"

"Nick?" I asked, "I don't know. The cop said he wasn't at liberty to discuss it on the phone."

Desi's face clouded.

"What?" I asked, fear gripping my insides. "What? Why do you look like that?"

Desi shook his head.

"WHAT?" I demanded, my voice raising.

Desi took a deep breath. "Brian... if they aren't telling you what happened or that he's okay... then..."

I stopped at a red light. I stared at Desi.

Desi stared back.

"Then what, Desi?" I demanded, refusing to let the words I was pretty certain he was hinting to cross my mind.

"I'm not saying he is dead," Desi said, "I'm just saying you should be prepared, because he's probably at least close."

I couldn't breathe.

I felt cold at just the thought of such a thing.

The light turned green, but I couldn't move my foot to hit the gas. The car behind me honked repeatedly, then cut off a car in the other lane to merge over and blow by me, middle finger in the air as he went. I stared dumbfounded, dazed, unable to inhale oxygen, just focused on the concept Desi had just placed before me.

It's funny, I went for eighteen years of my life without Nick, and now... on this end of having known him for so long... I couldn't picture my world without him.

It was fucking bad enough when we were just fighting, not to mention this.

"He's not," I snapped finally, as the light turned red again.

Desi shrugged, "I didn't say he definitely was, I'm just saying, it doesn't sound good. Especially knowing Leon."

My throat felt like it had a tennis ball shoved down it.

"Shut up," I snapped. "He's fine. He has to be. Nick can't be ---" I couldn't say the word dead, "It's impossible."

Desi nodded. "Okay, Brian. I was just saying so you could have time to prepare, I just was trying to help you."

"I don't need time to prepare, he's fine."

The light turned green and I slammed my foot on the gas so hard the Jeep leaped forward at 40 mph, and Desi was thrown solidly back into his seat. Desi's words resonating in me, Officer Bryant's hesitation echoing alongside them...

I pulled up into the lot of the facility, my heart slamming in my chest.

Calm down, I demanded myself. He's fine.