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Chapter One Hundred-Fourteen
Point of View: Zoe



I'd stayed with Nick even after he'd fallen asleep. He looked like a little boy when he slept, the exhaustion of life drained from his face and a certain level of innocence returning to his expression. His cheek was soft against my palm, like holding the soft fuzzy skin of a peach.

I stared at the dark roots beneath the dye of Nick's blonde and wondered if he'd ever stop dyeing the hair, let the real him show to the world. He wouldn't look as much like David if he did, but somehow I couldn't help but feel as though Nick's blonde hair was a sort of mask, hiding the real Nick from the world... as though he were somehow ashamed of himself.

I reached my other hand for his - the one he'd tried to reach out to me before realizing he was cuffed down. His knuckles were big and gave his hand an oddly gentle look. The gamers thumbs made me smile as I studied his hand.

David's hands had been gentle-looking, too.

I remembered them most especially from the night we made love. We'd been dating for quite sometime - a year or two, probably. Maybe longer. David and I had gone to the diner and now we were dancing in a parking lot, David's car radio turned up, the doors opened. I was barefoot, my shoes having begun to pinch my toes, and my dress's skirt flowed around my ankles.

David held my hands in his, his other hand on the small of my back, as we moved across the cool asphalt, the stars shining overhead, not a single cloud in the sky. Only the moon and the small pool of light the car's interior dome lamp made illuminated the scene.

"You're beautiful in the moonlight," David whispered to me, bending low to kiss my cheek. "Positively beautiful."

"You're flattering me," I whispered back.

He shook his head. "Zoe, you really are gorgeous," he promised.

Over the summer, he'd gotten a job as a lifeguard at the local beach. His arms had grown stronger and his hair had lightened in the sunlight as his skin darkened. He was a dream so perfect that even my subconscious mind could never have created him.

"You're handsome," I said.

He smiled and kissed my nose, dipping me low toward the ground, my hair hanging behind my head. I let out a shrill of laughter as he spun us around, lifting me up from the ground. My feet flew into the air, and my arms clung to his neck. A moment later, he'd replaced me to the earth and pulled me close to him, our bodies pressed together.

"Zoe," he whispered.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Remember when we met and I said I was going to marry you?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered.

David kissed me softly, his mouth delicious and wonderful against mine. "I want to marry you, Zoe," he said quietly. "Will you marry me?"

"I never want to be apart from you," I answered.

David reached into his pocket. "I'm not certain you understand what I'm trying to do here..." he said. He held out a little box to me. "Zoe, I'm not talking theoretically, or about in the future..." The box was heavy and wonderful in my palm. "I mean now, baby. Will you marry me?"

I opened the box.

Nestled inside was a perfect little diamond. It looked like one of the stars overhead, cradled by a gold band in a bed of black velvet.

I looked up at David, "
Yes." I answered. "A thousand million times yes."

"And to think the first time I told you that, you laughed," he said, eyes glowing with happiness.

"I was a fool," I answered. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my mouth to his skin.

It was a blur of heat and hands and awkward bumping, but it was beautiful. We were laying across the backseat of his car, a blanket laid down to protect us from the leather seats. His hands touched me and I felt like magic. I kissed his knuckles and felt safe. He was so gentle, so careful, every moment was precious and perfect.

"I love you so much Zoe," he whispered when it was over, our naked bodies hot and wet against one another, the windows fogged to opacity. David's mouth was tracing lines across my jaw. I could've survived in that moment for the rest of my life, just laying in his arms.

Twenty-four hours later, it would be a memory alone that I would hold. Never again my David.


I dropped Nick's hand to the bed, my stomach churning and my heart heavy. I rested my face against the bed, burying it into the sheets beside Nick. I was crying silently, but deeply when Nick's voice broke the silence.

"What's wrong?" his voice was low, groggy. I looked up at him. His eyes were slightly unfocused from sleep, but not void of concern. "Don't cry," he begged, "It makes my heart hurt."

"I was just remembering someone," I explained quietly.

Nick stared at me for a long moment, his eyes focusing slowly. "Did you love him?" Nick asked.

"More than anything else."

"Was he good to you?".

"Very," I replied.

"What happened to him?" he asked.

I could still see the scene, still hear the screaming. I shook my head. "Another time," I answered.

Nick frowned sadly, "I'm sorry, Zoe," he said.

"It isn't your fault," I answered, "So don't be sorry."

"I wish whatever it was never happened," he said solemnly.

I thought about it, imagining if David and Davey had both survived, if I'd gotten the life I'd dreamt. If I'd been a dancer who was David's wife, and Davey's mother. I wouldn't have been there when Zara died... hell, Zara probably wouldn't have died. Kayla never would've lost her mother. I never would've become a driver's ed teacher, and Kay and I never would've moved to California, and Nick Carter never would've come into our lives.

"Everything happens for a reason," I replied. "It happened for a reason."

Nick nodded. "Think I'll say that about all this shit one day, too?" he asked.

"Most definitely."

Suddenly the door opened and the RN was standing there, Christopher hanging back from her sheepishly, biting his lip. "What the hell?" she asked, spotting me, leaning on Nick's bed, clutching his hand and cheek.

Nick looked at me. "You weren't kidding? They really didn't give you the okay to come in here?" he asked, eyes panicked.

"....Not exactly," I answered.



As Christopher pushed me into my room, I was still being quite vocal about my ejection from Nick's side. "He needs someone," I pleaded with Christopher to understand, to talk them into letting me in to see Nick again later.

"What?" Kayla's voice startled me, and I looked up, surprised to see her standing there beside my bed.

"Kayla," I said in surprise.

Kayla stared down at me. "Nick's here?" she asked.

Christopher paled. "No, no, no," he said, "No. Nobody's supposed to know this, what is it with you people?"

"I want to see Nick," Kayla begged.

"No!" Christopher cried, "I'm gonna end up fired! Just no!" He quickly left the room.

"Where is he?" Kayla demanded.

"They're moving his room," I answered, a fact which was frustrating me, too. I looked up at her. "He's okay, though."

"Did you hear what happened?"

"I'm assuming Leon is the one who shot him?" I asked.

Kayla nodded.

"Leon better pray to whatever gods he believes in, and maybe a few he doesn't too for good measure, that I never see him again," I said sternly, "Because if I ever get my hands on that man, I am going to rip his balls off for you and shoot him dead for Nick."

Kayla's face melted into a smile. "Auntie Zoe, I love you," she laughed.