Point of View: AJ
It was almost 2:00 in the morning before Kayla drove me home. I sat despondently in the passenger seat, feeling like a fucking pirate without a heart. I stared out the window, cradling my cheek in my hand.
"AJ," Kayla started to say, but I shook my head, and she stopped talking.
When Kayla pulled up in front of my house, I sighed when I saw Leslie's car in the driveway. She'd come home to an empty house. At least Kayla's Aveo was what we'd taken to go to the hospital, so no questions would come up. Unless she spotted Kayla before she left.
"Thanks," I muttered. I unbuckled my safety belt and went to get out of the car, but Kayla turned to me.
"AJ," she pleaded.
I stopped and sat with my hand on the handle of the door, giving her a chance to say whatever the hell it was that needed to be said.
"I didn't mean to- to hurt Nick," she whispered, "That's not my intention."
"Well you are," I said. "And you're making me hurt him, too."
Kayla frowned. "What do we do?"
I felt my heart aching in my chest. I had no choice. There was only one way I could salvage what little shred of dignity as a friend I had left. I turned to Kayla. "First of all, there is no we," I said. "Second of all, Nick is a fucking really good guy, and anyone who has earned his love better fucking treat him right." I stared at her, "You don't deserve for him to love you."
Kayla's eyes filled with tears.
"But he does love you, and for that reason..." I opened the door, "As much as I like you Kayla, as much as I want to be the one who gets you, who loves you..." I took a deep breath. "I don't want you to come here again."
Her hands slipped from the wheel of the car to wrap around her arms. "But AJ..."
"No," I said. "I almost made a really big mistake tonight. I almost slept with you. I almost gave in. I almost betrayed Nick. And in a way I did because I would've if it hadn't been for a freak accident..." I shook my head, "But Kayla, no woman is worth destroying what I have with Nick. Leslie's right, I have to tell him what happened, and I have to just pray he understands..."
"You're going to tell him?"
"Not immediately," I answered. "But yes. I think he deserves to know the truth."
Kayla looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm so caught in the middle," she suddenly burst out. "I love him more than words can say but I feel something with you. Like a magnetic pull."
She'd said exactly the words I'd thought a thousand times. The irony of the language made my heart stop.
"I'm caught between him and you and I don't want to lose either of you or hurt either of you or--"
"Kayla, I'm not yours to lose."
I slammed the car door shut and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I made my way up to my front door. Kayla's hands were covering her eyes as she cried in the car, but I resisted the urge to turn back.
Leslie opened the door and came out onto the sidewalk. "Where've you been, I -" she stopped when she saw my face. "Oh my God, your eye... What happened?" she asked.
"It was an accident," I answered. "I'm fine."
"Is that Kayla?" Leslie asked, squinting to the figure in the Aveo. "What's she up to?"
"Drove me to the hospital," I explained.
"I'm gonna go apologize about calling her a whore," Leslie decided, and she started to move towards the driveway. I grabbed her shoulder.
"Not right now."
Leslie looked at me curiously.
"She's... she just wants to be alone."
Leslie nodded, "Okay. I'll have to call her tomorrow."
"Yeah... whatever."
I started up the stairs. I stopped where we'd landed on them and closed my eyes. Betrayal. The word shot through my mind and made my stomach queasy.
Nick and I had a history of this type shit happening.
Kayla might not deserve Nick's love... but likewise, I didn't deserve his friendship.
Leslie climbed the stairs and rested a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"I'm just exhausted," I answered. "I'm going to bed."
"Night," Leslie said helplessly as I pulled away and went into my room.
I started on the bed, but it was only a matter of moments that I felt lie I was too comfortable there, and I quickly crawled off it and onto the hard wood floor. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, my heart aching. I imagined Nick somewhere, laying in a cell with striped pajamas on. I hadn't cried in a damn long time... but there were definitely some tears coming that night....
