Point of View: Kayla
I was pulling the lettuce off my sandwich at Panera Bread after seeing Dr. Haseltine when my cell phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID, it was Zoe. "Hey Aunt Zoe," I answered it, rolling the lettuce up into a cigar shape.
"Hey Baby Girl," Zoe said. "How are we doing?"
I stared at my plate. "Fine," I answered. I grabbed my napkin and wiped the mayo off the lettuce carefully. "How was Nick?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from carrying. Some young girls had already been glancing at me sort of suspiciously. I knew I'd been spotted several times now by the paparazzi in my rotation around Nick since he'd entered my life, and I had a feeling the girls at the next table were catching on. I really didn't want to end up cornered before I could escape the restaurant.
"He looks so much better now that we've cleaned him up," Zoe exclaimed. "Oh Kay, when he first walked in the room, I thought my heart was going to shatter..."
I took a deep breath. I'd had nightmares of what Nick might look like now, of how ragged and gaunt he could be from being in there, especially after hearing the horror stories the others that had been to see him had said. I wanted to see him, too, so bad, but at the same time I was terrified.
"Did he ask about... me?" I asked, staring at the now mayo-less lettuce.
"He didn't want you to see him like that," Zoe said. She paused. "He's very protective of you."
"Protective of me? He's in jail, he's hurting so much," I muttered, "I should be protecting him."
"It's instinct," Zoe replied, "I can tell. I told him I was going to make him dinner for when he got out and asked him what he wanted. He asked for meatloaf at first, then changed his request to your favorite instead so you'd have comfort if he doesn't win tomorrow."
A lump rose in my throat. "He's going to win though, right?"
"I just bought enough hamburger to make five meatloafs so all those boys and their family members can eat... He damn well better win," Zoe responded.
I smiled at Zoe's twisted way of reassuring me. The idea of the amount of meatloaf I'd be consuming the next day made my stomach pummel. I pushed away the plate with the sandwich and the soup and stuck the lettuce into my mouth. "So he's coming back soon." I felt warm fuzzies grow inside me.
"Yes," Zoe answered, "He is."
"Awesome," I said. I stood up and grabbed my tray.
"What are you doing?" Zoe asked me.
"Just leaving Panera Bread," I answered honestly. I stared at the untouched food on the tray for a moment without moving. I could hear the girls at the table start whispering to each other, like they were trying to decide to make their move or not. Please not, I silently begged.
Zoe's voice sounded happy, "Yeah? You ate good then?"
I blinked. "Yes, I ate."
"Good," Zoe answered, "I'm so glad. Listen, pumpkin, I'm gonna hang up, I need to check-out here and head home. I'll be there by the time you get home."
"Okay Aunt Zoe," I answered, "I'm glad Nick's doing better. And thanks for making his meatloaf," I said.
I could hear Zoe's smile in her voice. "Everything is gonna be all right, Kayla, you'll see."
When we'd hung up, I shoved my phone in my pocket and lifted the tray and turned, headed for the garbage counter. I dumped the sandwich and little paper soup cup into the trash and tossed the tray, plate and silverware in their respective homes among the dish soap bubbles in the bucket they provided and headed for the door.
The two girls from the next table that had been staring at me were loitering outside of the restaurant, on the sidewalk, and I felt my heart sink. They'd gotten the guts up to talk to me. I'd never talked to one of Nick's fans since I'd fallen in love with him... I didn't know how to act, what to say, what he wanted them to know... and I couldn't even call him for a crash course in what to do...
And worse yet, Dr. Haseltine's office was just around the corner... I'd walked from there. My car was parked outside of his building. These girls were going to follow me if I went out there.
I hesitated.
I pulled out my phone and dialed AJ's cell phone number.
"Yello, McLean here, wuzzza?" he answered, clearly in a good mood.
"AJ? It's Kayla."
His good mood melted. "Kayla. What's up."
"I have.. a.. a stupid question.. I-" It was awkward now. I closed my eyes. Look at what I'd done. I was so stupid. I wished I hadn't called him. I felt sweat building on my back. Great, now when I talk to the fans I'm gonna smell like a fucking sow.
AJ was silent.
"I'm at Panera Bread around the corner from Dr. Haseltine's office - you know the --"
"Nick's psych, yup."
"Well he's mine now, too..."
AJ paused, "What're you seeing a psych for?" he asked, his voice genuinely concerned, "For... you know, the thing with Leon?" and there was the gentle, understanding side of him, peeking through the cold.
"Yeah," I whispered.
"It must be hell," he said, "I wish I could help you." AJ paused. The sentiment hung between us, then he suddenly switched back to cold AJ, "So what's the problem?"
"Some fan girls noticed me," I said, regretting that cold AJ had returned, "And they... they're waiting by the door to, like, pounce on me. I don't know what to say to them. I'd call Nick but, you know."
"Yeah," AJ paused. "Shit I dunno what you should say to them..."
"Well part of the problem is that I walked here from the office. I don't want them following me and... you know, seeing..." I sighed. "I don't want people thinking I'm a psycho."
"You're dating Nick, babe, they'll already think you're psycho. All his chicks are," AJ laughed, then he hesitated, "What Panera Bread are you at?"
"It's around the corner from Dr. Haseltine's office..."
"I'll be there in three minutes. Come outside and head to the sidewalk, I'll pull up. I'm in the truck. I'll give you a ride."
"Thanks AJ," I said, my heart melting with gratitude.
"Yeah no problem..." he paused, "Just, please don't... you know... he's gonna be out tomorrow, so..." AJ sighed, "Nevermind." He hung up.
"Don't make a pass at me", I finished the sentence for him. I won't AJ... I won't.
I looked at the door, the girls were glancing in anxiously to see if I was still there. I took a deep breath... I stepped out of the restaurant as casually as I could muster, trying to pretend I didn't see them. Maybe I could walk to the curb without being stopped.
No such luck.
"Kayla Martin?" one asked.
I turned to look at her. She nudged her friend and they stared at me in some cross between awe and excitement. "Oh my God it is her," muttered the second girl.
"Hey," I said, smiling as best I could. I felt like a display, like those glass dolls people shine spot lights on that look so perfect and detailed so well... Only I wasn't perfect or well detailed.
"You're dating Nick... right?" the second girl looked me head to foot with a raised eyebrow.
I nodded.
"How is Nick?" asked the first one. I liked the first one more. She seemed... I dunno. She was looking at me with less disdain than the second one was.
I swallowed, glancing at the curb for AJ's truck. Not there yet. "My aunt just saw him today, he's doing really well... He's prepared for the trial tomorrow..." I nodded.
"How did you end up with Nick?" asked the second girl.
I looked at my tennis shoes on the cement. "I ask myself that everyday," I muttered.
"You just don't seem like his type," she said.
My heart slammed in my chest. "Yeah, well.. I..."
Honk, honk.
I turned around. AJ was at the curb, his truck shining in the sunlight. As I turned, he was leaning over and shoving the passenger door open for me. "Kayla!" he called.
Both of the two girls I was standing with stared at the curb in shock.
"It was nice meeting you, but my ride's here," I gasped, and took off across the parking lot. I was jumping into the truck before their minds caught up with what happened and they both let out shrill cries of AJ!!! and started towards us. I tugged the door shut and AJ merged into the traffic and we glided away.
"Thank you so much," I emphasized every word in the sentence with a deep, gasping voice.
AJ laughed, "No prob, Bob," he replied. He reached for the stereo and turned it up. Enya was playing. So typically AJ... a big, masculine truck with a girly, feather-weight album on the big manly speakers. Rough exterior, soft, gentle interior. I smiled.
He didn't look at me, he just drove to Dr. Haseltine's office and pulled up behind my Aveo. "There ya are," he said.
"Thanks again," I answered. I reached for the door handle, hesitated, then looked up at him. He was staring intently at the steering wheel, at his hands wrapped around the wheel. "AJ?" I asked.
"Hmm?" he hummed.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but... you and me? We would've been a huge mistake, and I know that now..." I gnawed my lip. "Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. I know Leon didn't actually rape me, but... he came really close, and..." I swallowed. "AJ I've made a lot of mistakes since that night and I continue to make them everyday..." I thought about the lettuce. I'd promised Dr. Haseltine I'd eat a full lunch. Lettuce didn't count as a full lunch. "I just... I love Nick so much and..." I stared at my hands, "AJ you're a great guy. I really do love you, but... not the way I love Nick, and I was confusing that before..."
AJ's big doe eyes were staring at me. "Stop, Kay..."
"No, AJ, I'm not hitting on you, I'm telling you that I want to be friends."
AJ stared at me. "Friends."
"Yeah. Without benefits," I joked.
AJ snorted. "Friends without benefits. Now there's a weird concept." He smirked, "We'll work on it, okay?"
I nodded, "That's all I want." I pushed the door open and slid out of the truck to the ground.
I was unlocking my Aveo's door when AJ unrolled his truck window. "You coming to the trial tomorrow?"
"Yes," I answered.
He nodded. "See you there, then... friend."
I smiled, "Bye AJ."
I watched as he drove away, until his truck had maneuvered the curves of the parking lot. He sat at the stop light and I could see by the bobs of his head that he was singing along to Enya. When the light turned and AJ merged into LA traffic, he stuck his hand out his window and waved back in my general direction as he pulled away.
