Journal - Week 3, Part 1
Journal Entry #15
dr. haseltines obsessed with the fellas now and how i feel about them. im supposed to be analyzing why i think they arent visiting me but i dunno. if i knew that i wouldnt be wondering would i?? its not like i dont think they care. theyre like my replacement family unit. i might mean we fight and shit but its deeper than that. ajs like my playmate and brother. we goof off we beat the crap out of each other and make fun of each other and call each other names but when it comes down to it i know we'd both take a bullet for the other one if we had to. howies like the cranky uncle guy. hes really uptight and grown up and stuff. but i still love him to bits. hes fun to torture because he gets so worked up over the stupidest stuff. brian's like the dad. he used to be more like my playmate like aj was and kevin was the dad but now brians the dad. ever since he had baylee. i guess hes like a best friend cool dad type cos hes still fun he just is also worrisome and takes care of me. kevin... well i wish kevin would come back cos kevin was like the "real" dad. kevin was the one you'd turn to when you needed someone to just be there and understand yanno? he could be an asshole in fact more often than not i thought he was an asshole but i miss him. i was like the rebellious teen kid that didnt know what a good thing he had until he pushed it away too hard one too many times.
Journal Entry #16
im supposed to talk about what the last sentence in my last entry meant - the thing about being a rebellious kid that pushed too many times. it boils down to the question: why do i think kevin left? i mean obviously kristin was pregnant with mason he wanted to start a family and he was getting older and yanno all those reasons that we gave the fans and he gave us and we gave each other. but there was another reason, one that only kevin and i know about, the reason that means i am yet again the one that broke my family apart.
