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Chapter Twenty-Six
Point of View: Nick


"Okay, Nick. I think that takes care of all the paperwork, and you've got your things here, and you're all dressed..." Dr. Haseltine picked up a folder and flipped through it quickly, withdrawing a yellow sheet of carbon paper. "Here is the time of your first appointment. I want you to be here about fifteen minutes early, okay? And make sure you bring along your journal."

"Okay." I looked at the date. It was a week away. I had a whole week! I looked at Brian who was sitting beside me, smiling. I couldn't wait to get out of this place. "I'll have it with me."

"Try to keep up the habit of writing in it often, Nick," he warned, "It may not seem like it, but even the more pointless things you put into it is actually quite good for you and you'll learn a lot about yourself by the time you've filled its pages." He handed me the coiled up, worn out notebook. I'd really abused the crap out of it over the month that it'd been in my possession so far. Exactly twenty-eight pages had been used out of the 150 in the notebook. I had awhile yet with it. It probably will fall apart before I fill it.

We all shook hands and I said bye to Dr. Haseltine - he ended up being an okay guy, I guess - and Brian followed me out the visitors door and into the hallway. The minute Dr. Haseltine's door closed, I dropped to my knees in the hall. "I'm out," I whispered.

Brian laughed, "Wait and do that when you get outside. The air conditioner's nice in here, you may decide to come back in after you feel the heat."

"I miss being hot!" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. "C'mon, I wanna be hot." I could hear Brian laughing as he followed me down the corridor to the doors. We made our way slowly out of the hospital - it was like a maze. Every now and then we'd pass someone who would smile my direction because I was galloping and dancing all the way out and I'd say something like "I'm free!" -- They probably thought it was like a break out from the looney bin.

Brian was right, it was freaking Hell outside. The heat bugs were squealing and there were wavy lines in the air over the tar. I could've fried an egg on the ground, that's how hot it was. It was crazy. Brian turned the A/C on in the car the second we got into it. I was just so happy to see mundane things: clouds, sky, grass, other cars, people who weren't in pajamas or white coats, LA's grimy streets.

"I made sure you had a ton of healthy foods in your fridge and cupboards," Brian was saying, "So you've got like yogurt and granola and fruit. You know how to fry a steak or some chicken, right? I mean, I know you're a failure at cooking, but five minutes on each side, make sure it's not pink in the middle, you can do that, right?"

"Sure," I answered absently.

Brian laughed, "You should've seen Leighanne when she opened your cupboards and found nothing but Oreos and Cheetos and a bottle of mustard. What the hell have you been eating, Frack?"

"I order in a lot," I admitted.

"Yeah, we noticed that. We found four trash bags worth of crap around your house, dude. How you don't have rats is a question I'll never be able to answer. You gotta keep it cleaned up in there."

I smiled, happy that he was being bossy. I missed him.

"I mean if you don't clean it up, that's going to actually infect your mood. Did you know a clean room can actually improve a disposition?" he asked, nodding.

"Says the guy who used sleep under piles of laundry on his bed because he didn't want to use the washing machine," I accused, laughing and remembering the days when Brian lived with Kevin and Howie in an apartment in Orlando. The three of them were really messy. It was a miracle you could find the apartment in Orlando. It got worse when Howie moved out and it was just Brian and Kevin. Brian didn't start getting neat until he got with Leighanne and she refused to have sex on all the laundry.

"We got you a vacuum cleaner," he said, "And Lysol wipes." Brian beamed.

"Um, thanks," I said, not sure I was really happy or not. He was seriously expecting me to clean myself? It's called hire a maid... and a cook while I was at it because five minutes on each side and not pink in the middle actually does sound a little complicated for my cooking skills.



It felt so good to be at the house. Leighanne and Baylee were there waiting for us and I got a big hug from Baylee, who launched into a story about getting a shot a couple months ago and pulling up his sleeve to show me. I wasn't quite sure what that was all about, but kids are kids, so I went with it and rolled up my sleeve so he could inspect where they gave me a shot - even though I didn't get one there, he didn't need to know that. He marveled at my arm anyway and decided I was very brave for letting them "shoot me" because I'm "so much bigger so the needle must've been huge!" Baylee's such a little dork, just like his dad.

They were staying at my place while they were in LA so they wouldn't have to stay at a hotel. Brian said he was looking at renting a house while we were taping and they were pretty sure they'd found a furnished one in a gated community across town. "It has a fence, and a basket ball court out back," Brian was telling me, "No pool, but we could always bring Baylee here for swimming..."

"Yeah, that'd be great!" I was pretty excited at the prospect of Brian and Baylee and Leighanne being around frequently. I wasn't quite sure, despite my excitement to be free, if I was really ready to be alone yet.

Brian cooked steak tips on my grill in the backyard, which he asked me how to run and I laughed and told him I didn't know. I'd never turned it on. It was one of those things I kind of envisioned myself doing, but once I got it home I never actually did it. I blame Bobby Flay. He makes the barbeque stuff look easy on his show.

It was great to eat actual food instead of watery instant potatoes and sandwiches with stale bread. I ate more than I think I'd eaten in four weeks or more, since I hadn't really been eating a lot before going in to rehab. Leighanne said she was happy to see me eating because I'd lost a lot of weight over the past month - between the accident itself and the sparse pickings of edible food at the rehab. She encouraged even my third helping of food.



That night, I was laying on a blanket I'd thrown on the back lawn and staring at the stars. I could hear the ocean roaring off to my left, down the bottom of the cliff, and I just laid there thinking about everything that had happened. So much had changed over a period of mere weeks, and I felt like a completely different person.

Now, I thought, content, I'll just swing by and get my license tomorrow from that lady and I'll be completely back on track.

Little did I know at that point that I was not only going to not "just swing by" for my license... but that my fix was only just about to start.