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Chapter Three
Point of View: Nick

I'm such an idiot... I wanna die, like right now.

I groaned and pressed my head against the toilet seat. It was cool compared to my face. When I'd looked in the mirror my whole face had looked like a big tomato, red and blotchy and gross. I'd thrown up about forty times or something probably. My mouth tasted like stomach acid and the two shots of tequila I'd kicked back at the club. Throwing up sucks extra hard when all you've eaten in two days is a ham sandwich and a couple stolen nachos.

I tried to lay down on the floor and hit my head on the bathtub instead. "Son of a..." I groaned, dropping straight down so that my cheek was resting on the tile. I wasn't sure what Joe had given me, but whatever it was I didn't think I wanted to take it again. It hadn't really worked long enough - or very well for that matter - and this was just awful.

I closed my eyes as my brain tried to remember why I'd taken the drugs this time. I didn't want to remember it, but my brain is self-destructive and likes reminding me of stuff like that. My brain is like an evil dictator.

Luckily, as crappy as the drug had been, I couldn't really remember much, and that might just be enough to make it worth going through the aftermath again in the future. I mentally labeled it 'the stuff when you wanna forget so bad you don't care if it almost kills you'.

I curled my knees to my chest and hugged them, feeling the weight of reality coming back over me as my stomach settled. Every muscle in my body felt heavy and... sad, like I was exhausted after crying, even though I don't remember the last time I actually cried.

It was like five in the morning, we'd be leaving soon to go to the next stop on the tour... wherever that was. I wondered if AJ was still mad at me. He'd just dumped me off last night, even though the hangover had already started when we got back to the hotel rooms. He was pissed enough that he didn't care. Usually he would've at least come back to check on me by now, but he hadn't. I had a feeling it would be a few days before he really talked to me again.

I wasn't sure what I did. I didn't know if I'd done something and forgotten or if it was more just because I was high that he was pissed. These days with AJ you can't tell.

I wondered if he told Brian.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened up my old voicemail. I dunno why, but I wanted to hear the voice message one more time. Again, my brain being self-destructive, and my body being too weak to fight it.

"Hello Nick, it's me. I was calling to talk to you about possibly borrowing some money. I know I still owe you from last time, but I could really use some help, honey. Give me a call."

I let the air go in and out of my lungs steadily for a few moments, staring blankly at the Blackberry clutched in my fingers. I hit play again.

"Hello, Nick, it's me...."

I guess I fell asleep doing that because the next thing I knew AJ was slamming on the bathroom door. "Get up," he yelled, "We're leaving, and it really wouldn't kill any of us if you don't get your ass down there before the bus leaves. Make it snappy."