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Chapter Fifty-Nine
Point of View: Narrator

“Okay, so I’ve got a ton of shit to get you in on dawg,” Nick was talking to his lawyer on the phone, while Zoe smoothed Kayla’s hair. They’d moved her carefully until Nick was able to squeak out and Kayla’s head had rested on Zoe’s lap. Nick paced through the dining room that was connected to the living room to Zoe and Kayla’s left. “Well, there’s a few things. Easiest thing first – uh me and the fellas are gonna be taping in another week and we were hoping you’d have some free time in like a month or so to do some copyrights for us…”

Zoe laughed in spite of herself, listening to the way Nick talked on the phone, and was evidently going to work up through the chain ladder of evils. She could almost picture him as a rambunctious little boy, admitting slowly to a host of crimes. ”Well, I played ball in the house… and I might’ve hit the lamp… and… oh and also the window is broken…”

“Well the second thing is like this… my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend keyed my car. Yeah, the Camaro….” He paused, “I KNOW! It sucks, dude, it is an awesome car…” Boys and their man-cars, thought Zoe shaking her head. “Anyway, so there’s a scratch down the side and I gotta get it repaired…. Okay, so let’s add to that this: my girlfriend’s going to be filing charges against the same guy. He did it when he assaulted her, now should I file for the damages separately, with her complaint, or both of us file?” Nick was nodding. Good question, Zoe thought.

Kayla stirred, and Zoe missed the next part of Nick’s conversation, busy looking at her niece to make sure she was okay. The next thing she tuned in for as, “And what about slander and defamation of name for the press people that’re spreading the rumor?”

When Nick had hung up after the lengthy conversation and returned to the living room, he sat down at Kayla’s feet and looked at her as she laid peacefully across Zoe’s lap. “She okay?” he asked, tilting his head with concern.

“She seems it,” Zoe answered. She looked up at Nick, “You’ve had a few legal issues before, huh?”

“What?” he asked.

“You were really buddy-buddy with your lawyer,” she explained, “It just sounded like you guys talk frequently.”

Nick laughed, “Yeah, well… We do.”

“What’d they say?”

“That we need to report it as soon as possible, especially the assault charges. And we need to take pictures of Kayla’s neck and my car to bring to file the report.” He stretched and stood up. “I’ll go get my camera… Then we should probably wake her up and bring her down to the police station.”

Zoe nodded. She wasn’t looking forward to Kayla’s reaction to that.



When Kayla woke up, Nick was lowering her into the back of Zoe’s car and buckled in, like she’d been many times as a child by her grandfather. The sensation made her smile, “Nick?” she whispered.

“I’m right here, Kay,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.

Zoe was leaning around the driver’s seat, watching like a hawk. She had a feeling it would be awhile before she peeled her eyes from Kayla.

“Where are we going?” she asked as Nick slid into the seat beside her and buckled his own seatbelt.

Nick looked to Zoe, “We’re uh- we’re going to the police station,” he said as Zoe nodded, telling him to tell her.

Kayla’s eyes opened wider, “The police station? Nick, I don’t want to report him…”

“Kayla, honey,” said Zoe from the front seat as she hit the Prius’ power button, “You need to, for your own safety.” The car started rolling down the driveway and Nick wrapped his arms around Kayla gently.

Kayla’s eyes filled with tears, “No that’ll just make him mad.” She looked at Nick, “Why did you tell her?”

Nick said, “I had to.”

Kayla started crying. She felt foolish, but at the same time, she was truly scared of what Leon might do when he found out that they’d pressed charges. She felt Nick rubbing her back in soft circles, “It’s okay, Kayla,” he whispered, “I’m gonna have Drew watch out for you, you’re gonna be okay.”

“Who’s Drew?” she sobbed.

“One of the band’s security guards,” Nick answered in a low voice, “He’s really great. You’ll love him. He’ll make sure you’re safe in case Leon decides to retaliate. But you know what? We can’t let him get away with stuff. Your neck is all black and blue, baby, you’re gonna be really sore, and for what? Because he lost his temper?”

“You don’t understand Leon, Nick,” she muttered, “If we press charges he’s going to get madder and-“ she glanced at Zoe.

Nick laid a hand under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. “I’m not gonna let him hurt you,” he said, “I promise.”

Kayla sighed and leaned into him, her heart racing the closer they got to the police station, wondering what good could possibly come out of this.



"So that's been my week," Nick said, leaning back in his chair and staring at Dr. Haseltine defiantly. It was the next morning at 9:15, and he was already at his rescheduled therapy appointment. Dr. Haseltine's eyes were blinking, trying to catch up. Nick had literally just told the psychologist everything - from the relapse to the accusations of killing Krystal to the scratch in the Camaro.

Dr. Haseltine looked down at the journal, which was open-faced to the page the night he'd spent at Zoe's after the second relapse. The words were raw, and the hand writing so honest that Dr. Haseltine had no questions that Nick had indeed had a major break through in his thought patterns, one that would most likely change his life and fix him.... If only circumstances could hold out long enough to afford him the time it would take to alter the thinking.

He took a deep breath. "You've had a crazy one," the psychologist admitted. "And I appreciate your honesty about it all." Dr. Haseltine clasped his hands in front of his face, "How are you feeling?"

"Minus the stress right now," Nick replied, "Better than I have in a long time." He pointed at the journal, "I've felt better since I realized that," he explained. "I'm trying. And it feels good to appreciate myself a little."

"How do you mean?" Dr. Haseltine asked.

"Well like yesterday, with Kayla," Nick explained, "When I was holding her, I felt proud of myself because I was able to help her, even if it was just the tiniest bit, and I liked myself for that. I liked being able to be the one that she loved. And her love made me love me, too."

"And that feeling was different than you've experienced before?"

Nick nodded, "Yes."

"You're a relatively confident - or so it seems - guy, Nick," Dr. Haseltine mused, "Why do you think you so easily believe that you are someone to be hated, just because of the opinions of a handful of people? I mean, when you consider the mass of people who love you, doesn't that eclipse those who hate you?"

Nick thought for a moment. "You mean like fans?"

"Sure."

"Cos they don't know me," he said, "They know Nick Carter."

Dr. Haseltine nodded, "That makes sense."

"The people who know me are the ones I care about, and I've just had really bad luck, maybe, with the people who are closest to me. Like my family and... past ... friends and lovers," he said, Krystal's face popping into his head.

"Speaking of," Dr. Haseltine said, "How is this thing with Krystal working out? How do you feel about the accusations?"

"I'm scared," Nick admitted.

"Scared? Why?"

He chewed on the inside of his mouth a moment, considering. Then the guilty conscience within him got the better of him. He looked up. "Because I don't remember that night."

Dr. Haseltine leaned forward and looked at his notes from their last session, "But last week you said..."

"After she left, I did a line of coke," Nick said before Dr. Haseltine could finish his sentence, "And I called Krystal." He paused, shaking his head, "And the next morning I was on the ground in the spiderman costume."

"You remember nothing else?" Dr. Haseltine's eyebrows folded in concern.

"Nothing," Nick answered. He paused, "And that's exactly what is so scary about it."