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Chapter Seventy-Five
Point of View: Nick


The arraignment was a blur. There was a lot of talking and people saying that I did things that I didn't, and no chance to argue, or to explain. The judge didn't like me, that was clear from the instant I was dragged into the room until the very last second, when she refused to set bail. The only break she gave me was placing me under house arrest with an ankle band instead of throwing me into the jail itself - and this was only granted because every one knew Leon was out for my blood in the jail and if I'd ever run into him there he would've messed me up really bad - or worse.

So I was stuck in the house 24-hours a day with several large cops. One hung out inside and supposedly there were a couple outside my door as well. The terms were that I stayed there instead of the jail. I was allowed monitored visits from friends, and private visits from Dr. Haseltine, who was the first to come to my door.

We sat in the kitchen while the officer hovered in the foyer, just barely out of ear shot. Dr. Haseltine's eyes were solid on me as I rotated a class of cranberry juice on the table in front of me. "How are you, Nick?" he asked, his voice low with concern.

"I'm freakin' out," I admitted, glancing down at the heavy ankle band that monitored every move I made. The little red light blinked up at me. I sighed. "I didn't do this, and I dunno how to make them see that."

Dr. Haseltine frowned, "I'm very glad that you at least came clean," he said, "It shows progression in your healing that you are comfortable enough to admit your mistakes." He leaned back. "A lot of patients suppress failures and hide them so deeply that they themselves forget the truth." He marked some stuff down on his trusty legal pad.

"I did for a long time," I pointed out.

"But you allowed it to return, too," he said.

"How do I prove to them that she wanted to die?" I asked.

Dr. Haseltine sighed, "I don't know, Nick," he admitted.

Later that day, Zoe and Kayla came over under supervision. Kayla flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and sobbing as she kissed every fraction of the surface of my face. She laid her palms on my cheeks and stared into my eyes. "I love you so much," she said, her eyes sad and lines on her own cheeks where tears had fallen down.

I smiled, warmed by the words, and hugged her to me. The officer waved us apart, though, a scowl on his face. "Too close," he said.

Kayla looked ready to burst into tears as we separated. I stood a couple feet away, awkwardly. Zoe sighed. "Did you call your lawyers?" she asked me. As always, her mind was on the technicalities and details.

I nodded, "Well, Brian did," I explained.

Kayla was staring at the band on my ankle. I smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "Quite the accessory, huh?" I fashion modeled my leg. "It's all the rage in Japan."

"It's ugly," she muttered, "Like they needed to keep tabs on you with that thing with the amount of paparazzi and photographers out front." Kayla shook her head.

"There's press outside?" I asked, my heart slowing. I frowned. I hadn't even looked out the windows; I wasn’t positive I was allowed to. After all, cable was monitored times only, even the radio was limited.

Kayla nodded, "At the end of the driveway.

Zoe rolled her eyes, "They're vicious, too, the lot of them."

"Yeah," I sighed, "They usually are." I didn't like the idea of photogs being all around the outside of my house.

“They almost broke the Prius window,” Zoe continued.

I sighed, “I’m sorry Zoe,” I apologized, “I’ll pay for any damages they caused.” I imagined the banged-up look that my cars usually had after encountering fans and paparazzi. The Prius was probably in really crappy condition.

Zoe flicked her wrist carelessly, “Don’t worry about it, you have enough on your mind right now.”

Too true.

Kayla’s eyes welled up as the cop cleared his throat, indicating it was time to depart. I frowned and waved as they inched to the door. My throat felt constricted. I wanted to hug her… so bad…

I looked at the cop. “Please,” I asked, “Just one hug? Please?”

He shook his head no, sternly.

I closed my eyes and had to take a deep breath to keep from crying. Kayla blinked rapidly. “I love you.” She bolted out the door, Zoe pausing to stare after her.

Zoe turned back to me as the tears started to fall over my cheeks. She sighed. “Oh Nick,” she said, shaking her head, “Don’t cry. It will be okay.”

I swiped my tears with the back of my hand, “How?” I asked, seeking the specifics.

“I don’t know how,” Zoe shrugged, “I just know.”