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Chapter Thirteen - February 1

"Okay. Let's do it again. One more time."

Usually when a woman said that to me, I was more than happy to oblige. Not today.

I collapsed on the hard wood floor gasping for breath; my shirt was so drenched with sweat it clung to me like a second skin. I had been at the dance studio since five o'clock in the morning to learn the choreography for tour. It was now almost two o'clock in the afternoon and we hadn't stopped for more than five minutes.

I used to think that learning dance steps after a night of drinking and partying was hard. That was nothing compared to trying to remember when to turn left and when to dip down after getting up every two hours for feedings, changings, a cranky daughter, and four dogs that had suddenly come to the conclusion that all of their attention was now being given to two small human beings.

Angel and Liv's mom had been at the house almost around the clock since Liv had initially gone into the hospital on Christmas Eve. Two days ago, I had declared that they both needed a break and that Liv and I could handle things for at least the next three or four days.

I hate to say it, but I think I was wrong. Liv was up and moving around, but it had only been three weeks since Noah's birth so she was understandably taking it slow. To make matters worse Brooke was still throwing a fit anytime she saw Liv or me carrying Noah.

"I don't think I can move my legs," I gasped. Anya, our choreographer shook her head.

"Of course you can. Just one more time, I promise."

"That's what you said hours ago."

She smiled. "Are you the same guy that told me two years ago that you get a rush from physical activity?"

"That's before I gained fifteen pounds. And before I had two kids."

She nudged me with the toe of her sneaker. "Up and at 'em Carter. If Kevin can keep up without breaking a sweat you have no excuses."

"His son's four years old! Mine's three weeks old."

Anya just smirked and walked back over to the CD player.

"And a one...and a two...and a three..and a four."

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It was four o'clock by the time I got home. I dropped my duffel bag on the floor and slid down on my stomach, my face touching the soft carpet. It was a nice feeling.

What wasn't a nice feeling was three sets of paws smashing into my back as Lila, Atari, and Iggy tap danced along my back, their rough tongues fighting amongst themselves to lick my bare arms. I lifted my head. Bitsy crouched down in front of me, her tailless rump in the air and her squished face centimeters from my own. She barked excitedly...then she threw up on me.

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"I don't know what's worse; baby barf that smells like old warm milk or dog barf that smells like the inside of a trash can."

I had just taken a shower and was rubbing my hair with a towel. Liv sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing Noah's back.

"I bet you can't wait to go to Japan," Liv said with a smile. "Tens of thousands of crazy fans probably pale in comparison to a day at home."

I tossed the towel in our laundry hamper and sat down next to her. I leaned over and kissed the chubbiest part of Noah's arm.

"You're not getting rid of me until February 27," I said. "Hopefully by then we can convince Brooke that Noah is not the devil and we can figure out sleep and feeding schedules."

Noah gave a burp that made me proud. Liv stood up and smiled down at me. I fell back into the soft mattress. I never wanted to hear the words "old" and "Nick" in the same sentence, but tonight was the first time I could ever remember feeling...aged.

"You still need to have a birthday party before you go," Liv teased. I shook my head.

"Nope, I've decided I'm staying thirty one again this year."

"I don't think that's going to work, babe."

My actual birthday had been a blur. Somehow cake and presents didn't matter when I had a wife and two kids that needed my full attention.

"You already got me my birthday present," I said with a yawn. "Noah's my present."

Liv smiled. "He's a good present, but I'm still going to do something."

I yawned. I wasn't putting up a fight. I scooted back farther onto the bed, my head sunk into the pillow. For a guest bedroom, the bed was surprisingly comfortable. My eyes fluttered closed. I had never been so tired.

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"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

I was jarred awake by the sound of the baby monitor. Liv was asleep beside me. I had no idea of the time. I looked over Liv's sleeping form at Noah. He was sound asleep in the bassinet. I turned down the volume on the monitor and slid out of bed. As I headed up the stairs, I wiped the sleep out of my eyes.

Brooklyn was standing in her crib as I walked into the room, clinging to the ear of a poor bunny rabbit. Two big alligator tears dripped down her cheeks and her bottom lip was all aquiver.

"What's a matter, sweetheart?" I said gently. As soon as I picked her up, I knew what was wrong. Her diaper and PJs were absolutely soaked.

"You can't sleep like that, can you?" I said. I put her down on the changing table and went to work. She smiled adoringly at me. My heart melted a little bit. If I had to wake up in the middle of the night, at least I got rewarded for it.

"All better?" I asked as I zipped her into a new sleeper. She tossed her little arms in the air and said something to the effect of 'abba-jabba-flaggle.'

"I absolutely agree," I said with a laugh.. I picked her up; her head snuggled right up into my shoulder.

I felt bad just putting her back in her crib and walking away. Instead I headed to the rocking chair and sunk down. The padded cushion felt nice; the room was cool and smelled wonderfully like baby powder. I rocked gently and after a few minutes I heard the regular sounds of deep sleep breathing. I closed my eyes.

I was getting pretty good at this whole 'dad' thing.

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"Look at those goobers."

"Hey, you're one of those goobers."

Liv and I were standing at the kitchen island eating breakfast and watching Live with Regis and Kelly. The guys had already done Leno, Ellen, and Wendy Williams and had finally made it back over to the East coast. Noah was fast asleep with a full stomach. Brooklyn was crawling around the living room chasing a light-up cat ball.

Bitsy was following at her heels; her eyes were practically bugging out of her head over the stupid toy. She kept nudging Brooke with her squished-in nose as if to say 'hey, go faster little human!'

I took a big bite of Sugar Smacks cereal. The camera panned out on all four of the guys and then switched to a ten second clip from the Figured You Out video. Liv squealed. I couldn't blame her for being excited; the concept for the video had been her idea."I think that's the first time that was ever shown on TV," she said with a smile.

"Yeah. We can thank Jive for that."

Jive had put up a bitch fit on doing a video for an unreleased song. After nearly a year, they had finally given us the rights to distribute the video. Of course now that Kev was back, we decided not to make it a single but offer it up as a gift to everyone in the fanclub. Even still, it was one of our most popular videos on our YouTube channel.

"We're back with the one, the only, Backstreet Boys," Regis said. "They've got a new album coming out that they're really excited about. Tell us a little bit about it."

"It's called Going Strong," Howie said.

"We've been at it for almost twenty years now, and I'd like to think we've still got it," Brian said with a slow drawl and a smile.

"He's wearing his hat backwards. That is so ten years ago," I said. Liv laughed.

"And Kevin's back!" Kelly said. "Kevin, what made you want to get back with the guys?"

"I left the group for a good reason and that was to concentrate on family. I've been blessed with a beautiful son, Mason, and I've wanted to be there for him every step of the way. But I can't deny that I missed making music. Now that he's a little older I want to go back out there and reconnect with the fans. Hopefully they still want me back."

The audience screamed. Regis covered his ears in mock surprise. He laughed at himself and then turned his attention back to the guys.

"And they tell me that the group has had a little baby explosion lately. Who here is a dad?"

Everyone but AJ raised his hand.

"Brian you just had a daughter right?"

Brian smiled. "My wife Leighanne and I have a daughter Kayleigh who's almost six months old and a son Baylee who's nine."

A picture flashed on the screen of Baylee holding Kayleigh on his lap dressed in one-of-a-kind Wylee outfits. It had been awhile since I had seen either of them.

"Wow, they've grown. Especially Kayleigh," I said, wagging my spoon at the TV.

"Look at all that curly hair. She's going to look like Taylor Swift when she grows up."

I laughed. "Well Brian has those squinty eyes."

"Nick..."

"My son James is three and a half," Howie said.

A picture flashed on the screen of James wearing flowered gardening gloves. I was mid-bite of Sugar Smacks and I about choked on them.

"Oh that's horrible," I said with a laugh.

"What?"

"He's wearing girly gloves!"

"What's wrong with gardening gloves?"

"Nothing, but those have flowers all over them!"

Liv rolled her eyes. The camera flashed over to Kevin. Kev mentioned Mason and they showed a picture of him on top of a horse. It had to have been taken back in Kentucky. He was smiling ear to ear and had on a pair of little cowboy boots.

"It's hard to believe Mason's Kevin's son," I said. "That boy's going to grow up to be a goofball."

Liv laughed. "He's just a people person. Plus, Kevin's not straight-laced all the time."

I smiled. "True."

While we discussed Kevin, Regis and Kelly had turned to AJ. A picture of Rochelle and him from shortly after their wedding was shown.

"I'm surprised he isn't saying anything about the twins," I said thoughtfully.

"I bet Rochelle just doesn't want it to get out. Just in case..." Liv trailed off. She groaned. They were showing the message I had pre-recorded.

"What?"

"I look like a corpse that's been floating in the river for a few weeks."

"What?"

"Look how puffy I am. Ugh what were we thinking having me sit there by you? I waved like a dork."

I grinned. Liv was never easy on herself. Truth be told I secretly ripped myself to pieces everytime I saw myself on TV too. It was just one more reason I loved her so much.

But I didn't agree with her assessment. I thought she had a new-mother glow and looked amazing considering all she had been through.

"I think you look lovely. Look, here's my favorite part."

It was the part where Brooke took off her glasses and said 'DADA!' The tape stopped right after that. I knew what had come next. Without having to hear the screaming, I thought that was actually a really cute ending.

"She is just a doll," Kelly gushed.

"She takes after her dad," Brian said. "She's a big ol' ham."

Brian glanced at the camera as if to address Nick personally. Nick stuck out his tongue.

"So tell us more about your album," Regis said.

"It hits stores March 6. We've got a traditional Backstreet Boys sound mixed in with some really cool collaborations with people such as Jay Z and even Rascal Flatts. So while we've stayed within our realm, we branched out in creative ways without straying too far from the sound everyone knows and loves," Howie said. He finished with a smile.

Always the businessman.

"We'll be touring Japan first and we'll have a slew of dates in the U.S. this summer," AJ added. His voice sounded raspier than usual.

"Well, thank you so much for visiting with us and best of luck to all of you and your families. Ladies and gentlemen the Backstreet Boys!"

The guys launched into an acapella version of Shape of My Heart. It felt weird to hear my part being sung by Howie.

"I know that look," Liv said. I looked at her in surprise.

"What look?"

"That's the look that hungers for the road," she said.

"I'm happy here," I argued. She touched my arm.

"I know you are, but I also know that you can't stand to just sit and watch the guys. You've got to be involved."

I smiled and kissed her softly.

"You're right. They'll have to deal with me soon. Until then you're stuck with me."

Liv tossed her hair back and grinned. "I'll gladly stick with you."