Cutie was really starting to push my buttons, let me tell ya! Does she feel like she’s better than everyone else, or something? Is that why she’s always rubbing shit in my face, if I’m not all technical or whatever? I wish I knew what her damn problem was!
“I’m not trying to be a know it all, AJ. But…” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, although the rest of her was already soaked from the ocean water. “It’s just that I don’t want anyone to get sick. The pot was an amazing find and it’s going to be very helpful…we can use it to boil the water…”
“I thought boiling it wouldn’t make it drinkable?” Lifting a brow, I crossed my arms and watches her move the dripping strands of hair from where they stuck to her collarbone. This woman is going to be the death of me. I can see it now…Backstreet Boy, AJ McLean is the first man in history to be annoyed to death. He died from a brain aneurism that was actually caused by some short chick, on a deserted island, driving him bonkers. MTV news aughta get some real good ratings outta that one!
“It won’t. But if we use a banana leaf or something to catch the steam, as it boils…we can have another container catch the water as it rolls down the leaf. Only water can evaporate…so therefore, the steam is pure, fresh water. Once the steam is collected and cooled…we can drink it. It’s called distillation. And I thought it was common knowledge.” Did she seriously expect me to know that? I can hardly remember anything that isn’t a copyright of the group.
“Oh…so now I’m an idiot, because I didn’t know that?! Hello?!? I’m famous…and rich…I don’t even need to know my alphabet!” I might not be the brightest bulb in the box, alright…but I’m no idiot! Half the world thinks that I’m dumb, just because I sing for a living! Well, fuck ‘em! I’m pretty damn smart, thankyouverymuch! Not that I need to be…as long as I can memorize the songs and dance steps…I’m golden, baby!
“No! I never…I mean I…” Her eyes had widened, in…concern? …worry? …offense? …something like that. She waved a hand in the air and shook her head, as if to convince me she hadn’t meant it.
“Yeah…right…whatever. God…” This woman is impossible! Cute but annoying as all fuck. How many times have I said that…ten? …twenty? …not enough! I bet she doesn’t even have a man…she probably chases them all off. I know I’d be running, if I had a place to run. “…you should get ‘run for your damn life’ tattooed on your fuckin’ forehead…it’s the least you could do, to warn a guy that you’re a complete psycho bitch.” Ouch. That was harsh. What the hell is my problem? Damn it, McLean…THINK before you open your damn mouth! I better pray these girls never meet my mother…I’m telling you now…my mom would grill my scrawny ass and feed me to a group of crazy merciless fans, if she knew the things that were coming out of my mouth.
“I…I’m…sorry.” Hell…after seeing the look on her face…I was about ready to grill my own ass…I was even going to apologize, but she ducked her head and started walking off before I got the words out. Granted…I could have gone after her…but my ego wouldn’t let me, so I just watched her for a moment and then walked over to the fire.
Resa and Howie looked to be making a lot of progress on our new, and improved, sleeping arrangements. I was looking forward to not getting eaten alive by creepy crawlies tonight. I still missed home and my king size bed, though. At least the fire was going pretty good. Maybe I should work on catching some fish for dinner since the shelter project is under control. There was just one problem…I’ve got absolutely no idea how to do that!
“Let’s see what I can rig up, shall we?” Yes…I talk to myself…quite often, actually. Oh you know you do it too. Now…where to start? Between what cutie found earlier and what I’ve gathered, off the beach, there has got to be some stuff I can use.
Ten minutes later, I was attempting to twist a bobby pin into the shape of a fish hook. I wasn’t quite sure what to use as fishing line, but I’d figure it out. Maybe if I used a thinner vine? Oh! Or thread from that old, girlie bed sheet. I could braid some thread to make it stronger and tie it to my make shift hook here…oh wait…I’m not exactly that great when it comes to braiding. I guess I’ll have to talk to one of the girls about that…and judging by the issues Resa and Howie are having with the vines right now…I’m gonna guess that my best bet would be to ask Kris. That could be a problem though…seeing as I’m not exactly on her good side, right now.
If I’m gonna need help from her, I’ll have to get her un pissed at me. Chocolate and flowers would normally be my first choice when it came to apologizing to a woman, but obviously that’s not an option right now. So, I’m going to have to find a different way of getting myself out of this shit hole. Although not impossible, it’s a bit more complicated when you’re stranded on a deserted island. So…here we go again…
A.J. McLean’s basic guide rules for apologizing to a woman and getting out of the dog house when there is no place to buy chocolate or flowers…
1. Grow some balls and say the three words a man never ever likes to say… ‘I was wrong.’ Those three words are harder to utter than ‘I love you’ but, to a woman, they are just as important.
2. Three more magic words that will nearly kill a man to say… ‘You were right.’ Why do women always like to hear the things that we can’t say, without feeling like we’re gonna vomit?
3. In this particular case…you could get around actually saying these things…by writing them in the sand. It’s like a double whammy because chicks dig the whole ‘note written in the sand’ bit, too. To them…it’s sweet and thoughtful…to us…it’s a loophole so we don’t have to actually speak the words…and women call us stupid. HA!
4. If you have a decent voice, like I do, singing is always an option. Nothing makes a chick melt in to putty, like a good voice singing to her. This actually works for way more than just apologies, too, by the way…but we’ll get into that later.
5. I don’t know if it works for all men, but the puppy eyes always work for me. Stick out the lip, turn on the big warm puppy eyes, bat the lashes and say something like ‘please don’t be mad’…it works wonders…chicks find it irresistible and next thing you know you’re gettin’…never mind.
6. Sucking up to a chick, very rarely backfires. As if she’s going to stay mad at you after you give her some corny ass line like ‘I did it because I felt threatened by your beauty.’? Oh yeah…they eat that shit right up! Just…make sure you say it with the puppy eyes and a slight tremble in your voice…otherwise she’ll know you’re faking it.
7. This is…by far…the hardest one to pull off…but it has the biggest and greatest rewards…cry. Yes. I said it. Cry. Turn away and poke yourself in the gal darn eye, if ya got to! Chicks can not resist a man when he cries. They say it like…shows our sensitive side or what the hell ever. Throw a hiccup or two in there…maybe a wail…gasp for breath…the whole bit. You really gotta know how to act, for this one…and trust me…it is so worth practicing a few million times.
8. Offer to make sacrifices…tell her you’ll change…say you’ll do anything she wants. For whatever damn reason…women still buy this bull shit…even though they should know by now, that it’s exactly what I just said…BULL SHIT!
9. Men are not nearly as dumb as women think we are…but that’s because we want them to think we’re idiots. Don’t you dare let on that we know what we’re doing…or you’ll ruin it for the rest of mankind. If even one woman found out…it would be all over the world in two minutes flat…we all know how fuckin’ fast gossip travels amongst the female population.
Ok seriously…this bobby pin is not cooperating with me! I want this thing to bend one way and it’s going all squirrelly and shit. Ugh. I am so not cut out for this survival crap. Perhaps I should have joined the boy scouts, instead of a singing group…but then again, if I hadn’t joined the group…I wouldn’t be in this damn situation, to begin with, and wouldn’t need to know the survival skills that I knew, I wish I knew now. That totally made sense in my head, by the way.
“Hey, AJ…where’d Kris go?” Just about jumping out of my skin, I looked up to see Resa standing right there, but couldn’t bring my eyes all the way up to hers. Hasn’t she ever heard of the term ‘personal bubble’?
“It’s not my turn to baby sit.” I let out a soft huff, still not willing to look her in the eye…my eyes are very good at betraying me and telling people things that I don’t want them to know. Why do you think I own 793 pairs of sunglasses? I had no clue where cutie was and it was my fault she wasn’t here.
“You’re the last one that was talking to her and now she’s gone. Did you make her mad again?!” Yes I was…and yes I did…good grief, I’m an ass. Who knows what could be happening or where she was…and actually, that thought made my stomach twist. If anything happened to her…even if she just sprained an ankle…it would be my fault. I hate being responsible for people getting hurt…which is ironic since I’ve been verbally abusing both girls, nonstop since the ship sank.
“What was the last thing you said to her, man?” That just figures…Howie is gonna side with the girls. What ever happened to having my back? I am his best friend! Oh who am I kidding? With how I’ve been acting…I couldn’t expect anyone to back me up. My own damn thoughts are screaming that I’m a complete douche. So then why can’t I control the shit that’s coming out of my mouth?
“I um…I basically told her she was a psycho bitch…and that she should warn people about that.” I automatically cringed and cowered a little because I knew……
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry this chapter took me a bit, but I've got the next several chapters already planned out...so hopefully updates will come quicker!
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for all the reviews! I know I'm a little behind on responding but I will be doing that tonight...I promise!
