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Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter. I hope you all like hearing from AJ, because he took over again!
Ugh. God damn, my head is pounding like a mother fucker! And don’t even get me started on my damn knee! Geez. I feel like I got run over by a fuckin’ truck! Then I have cutie’s little rant stuck in my head, too. My damn dreams were invaded by that blonde last night.

“Excuse me?! I will have you know…” One of those manicured nails was pointed right at me, while her other hand remained firm on her hip, as she gave me this ‘you are in trouble’ look. And we were doing so well, too, damnit! Note to self: Keep your damn mouth shut, McLean! Oh gee, thanks for that, man, but you’re a little late. I’m not late, damnit, you just never fuckin’ listen to me, dip shit. It is not ok to call myself a dip shit! Wait a tick…why the fuck am I even talking to myself, in the first damn place?

Shit. I’m more fucked up than I give myself credit for! I guess being stranded away from everyday life and everyone in it, you really get to know yourself, since you don’t have anything to distract you. Someone can learn to ignore their flaws and stuff when they are busy with life…especially someone like me, who has an insanely busy lifestyle. Hm. I suppose this is the best damn rehab program I could have gotten my ass into, huh?

“Have me know…what? I was just sayin’ that…” I swear I was still in ‘nice’ mode. I wasn’t even raising my voice or getting irritated…yet. I’m telling you…I didn’t even mean to offend her in the first place! Go figure…I screw shit up, even when I’m not trying.

“You were saying that I’m too much of a girl to know how to butcher an animal! I’m not! I cook for a living! And I’ll have you know…I’ve had my hands covered in animal blood more times than I can count!” Ok…in some weird ass, twisted, kinky kinda way…that’s sorta hot. Gross…but hot…strangely at the same time.

“That is so not even what I meant and you, damn well, know it!” With a roll of the eyes I went over and crawled into the only empty hammock. Oh man did it feel good to stretch out! Chasing down that pig was a pain in the ass, but that mouth watering meat was surely going to be worth every damn second of back breaking effort!

I didn’t mean to fall asleep; mind you…I just needed to relax, for a little bit. I just had another knee surgery recently and all the running had made it pretty sore. The plan was to stretch out and take a break, then I was going to get up and help cutie skin that pig. It needed to be butchered up, too…cut down into pieces and then cooked. But now I was being rudely woken up by the sun in my eyes and the smell of…HOT DAMN! I smell piggy!

“Oh…shit…damn it!” Yeah…that would be my clumsy ass falling out of a hammock that’s literally only a foot off the ground. How the hell am I still alive, with as accident prone, as I am? Now there is a good Backstreet Trivia question! Oh…oh…oh! They should make a Backstreet edition of Trivial Pursuit! Hellz yeah!

Here ya go…sample questions and answers from the soon to be released Backstreet Trivial Pursuit!

Question #1, Subject: Brian - What wire got crossed in Brian’s brain that makes his eyes close every time he sings? A. The blue wire, B. The one on the left or C. None, he’s just weird.

Answer? The same damn wire that makes him lift his leg a million fuckin’ times.

Question #2, Subject: Kevin - What the hell is really up with Kevin’s eyebrows?

Answer? They are actually harboring illegal aliens from outer space. Yes. That’s right. Them bitches are alive! I swear to the heavens that them damn things ate my homework once, back in high school! I ain’t even playin’!

Question #3, Subject: Howie - Exactly how high can his voice go?

Answer? Depends on how hard Nick kicks him in the nads, before the show. It’s a wonder how that poor shit ever conceived James!

Question #4, Subject: Nick - Name one video game that Nick actually does NOT enjoy? A. Barbie Fasion Fairytale, B. Dora The Explorer’s Great Adventure, or C. Kirby Squeak Squad.

Answer? Fuck that shit, blondie likes ‘em all!

Question #5, Subject: AJ - Why the fuck does AJ keep having to have knee surgery?

Answer? He’s been down on one knee to propose more times, without ever actually getting married, than any normal human man. Damn…that’s some sad shit, right there! But this time it’s for realz. I swear. I ‘effing love my monkee! I do! Ok…maybe our relationship is a little…weird…and whatever…but I’m really going to marry her. Honestly! You know what? I have nothing to prove, damn it…you’ll see!

“Aw look, sleeping beauty has awoken from his deep slumber and graced us with his presence!” I was in NO way, in the mood for Resa’s sarcasm, even if it did sound like it was meant in a playful manner! Then again…I was in no mood to end up in another fight with the girls, either. Play nice, McLean…play nice.

“Yeah…I look like shit…I’m aware, of that. I probably stink too. Wanna smell me?” So much for playing nice, huh? With a huff, I plopped down into the soft white sand. My mouth was already watering, as I looked at that juicy, succulent piggy. For the record, though, I don’t really stink, ok? I just have a very manly natural cologne. And yeah…I know the word succulent. It means ‘really damn, finger licking, fuckin good’!

“Here…” Cutie was offering me a banana leaf that was piled high with roasted meat in this cashew and coconut mixture…or sauce…or whatever, that she was rambling about last night, but yet nearly forgot…that woman confuses me, but I digress. There were banana slices, neatly placed around the main portion, and they looked like they were…grilled or something. To top it all off, she really had found some herbs around the area and cooked them in with the meat. Overall…the whole thing looked really damn good! “…there’s more, if you’re hungry after that. Try not to eat it too fast, though.”

“You’ll make yourself sick, if you eat too fast.” Resa piped in, looking up from her own meal. At least her voice wasn’t harsh or defensive yet today. Her usually snippy, sarcastic tone sounded playful, soft and sweet…more like cutie. Hell, even when cutie yells at me…you can tell she’s incapable of hurting a fuckin’ fly.

“It’s going to be hard not to, with food that smells this damn good!” After sending a thankful smirk cutie’s way, I picked up a piece of the meat, popping it into my mouth. Dear God, I’ve died and gone to heaven! “Damn girl! And this is fuckin’ gooooood too!”

“I’m…glad…you like it. There’s plenty of meat to last us a couple days.” Aw, ain’t that precious…she’s blushing…that didn’t take much. But seriously…this was really damn tasty! I never would have guessed this combination would mesh well, but it sure as hell hits the spot, let me tell ya!

“Morning, AJ. How’d you sleep?” Out of nowhere, it seems, Howie appeared with his arms full of branches. Since he carefully put them all down, in a neat pile, by the hammocks, it was pretty obvious they were for finishing up our sleeping area. “We should be able to get the last hammock done and some protective roofing. We’ll have to cut down some more vines, though.”

“I was thinking…since we have this pig carcass…we can use the bones to make some tools. Maybe the ribs can be made into spears? That would help us catch more food.” Why didn’t I think of that? She might be crazy, but at least she’s smart.

“Oh…what if we used the shoulder blades to make hatchets? We could sharpen up the wider wedge and use a thick stick for a handle…then attach them together with vines.” Alright AJ…think man…these girls are showing you up, big time! What else could we make from a pig skeleton? I was finding out, really fast, that we would have to use anything and everything we could get our hands on. There was no room for waste or neglect.

“The thicker hip bones could be used for small hammers, right? And two of us should scavenge for more debris, today, too. Between shipwrecks and tropical storms, it seems like a lot of junk has washed up on these beaches.” That made sense…two people scavenge while the other two tended to our home.

“Kris and I can stay here…cook up more of this meat...then work on the shelters and tools...if you guys want to wander down the beach for a while and see what you can find?” When I mentioned that…I wasn’t volunteering myself to do all that walking! Oh…but then again…I guess it will be a hell of a lot less frustrating to walk around, finding junk…than it would be to build shelters and construct tools.

“Works for me. How ‘bout you, D-rough?” Standing up, I decided to tuck my tattered sheet into my back pocket and eat as we walked. He quickly caught up to me, as I walked, and I was already debating on if I should tell him about my new visions. I had another one last night. Granted his marriage was on the rocks…and the man was spineless, so he’d never actually be the one to file for divorce…but I wasn’t so sure how he’d take the idea, of me having visions, about him hooking up with Resa.

“You look lost in though, AJ. What’s up, man?” Oh yeah, he’s my best friend and I can rarely ever hide things from him…shit. To tell? Or not to tell? Hm. Maybe I should wait and see if I have any more visions, about it. I’ve only had two…which is more than my usual…but still, it could just be fucked up dreams, right? No. Not really. Visions are significantly different from ordinary dreams, and I know it. But for the sake of argument, I’ll just wait.

“Just thinking. This situation has to have your mind going a million miles an hour, too.” Now, that was definitely not a lie. My mind really was spinning like a damn toy top…you know…those little plastic ones we got, as party favors, every time we went to a birthday party, back in the day? Oh yeah…I played with them fuckin’ things for hours. Yeah, yeah…I know…I was a…unique child. Whatever. Don’t judge me!

“Boy don’t I know it! I miss James.” Ah yes…the one good thing that came from his marriage…his son. Oh man, James is a cutie, too! When he was first born, he was a little bit of an odd looking baby, but he grew so incredibly cute, really fuckin’ fast! “I bet he’s wondering where I am. I’m glad Leigh stayed home this time, though…at least they aren’t out here, stranded, too.”

“I can’t imagine being stuck out here with the little man…that would make it all so much worse.” He definitely had a point, on that one. Kids need proper care and nutrition…and diapers…none of which are available to us, right now.

My food was long gone, and throughout the long silences between our conversations, we’ve managed to find a few stray items. Among the stuff collected in my torn sheet were a couple of empty plastic bottles…some old bones, which would work great for more tools…another pot, this one was bigger than the last one…some more random articles of clothing…a huge chunk of plastic that honestly looked like the door off a porta potty, gross…an orange life jacket…a couple beer cans…and a plastic plate. So far, there was nothing to get overly excited about. Yes…I’m sure we’ll find use for all this junk, but…it wasn’t like I was jumping for joy.

“Shh…do you hear that? What is that?” Howie has his arm across my chest, stopping me from moving forward. Both of us stood frozen, our eyes started to roam as we listened closely. We had gone in the opposite direction than any of us had gone before, and there was a distinct sound in the distance.

“WATERFALL! HOT FUCKIN’ DAMN, D…THAT’S THE SOUND OF A HEAFTY SIZED ONE TOO!” Now was the time to celebrate, which is exactly what we did, too! My sheet of crap hit the sand with a soft ‘plunk’ sound, and us grown men started to jump around like a gold digger, who just married a poor unsuspecting rich bastard that agreed to buy her a boob job. I’m not naming names, here, because I’m really not that damn mean. Cough…Leighanne and Brian…cough cough! Damn…those cigarettes have really fucked up my lungs.

Seriously, though…the man is so damn pussy whipped, is sickening…and he really did buy her a boob job. Plus…he wears all her Wylee stuff…which is, sorry to say, not exactly flattering for a guy who isn’t gay. Then again…I’m accused of being gay more than any of the other guys…my nail polish is black people…not pink…although I did paint them red once. Oh fuck this…we hear a waterfall and I’m off talking about my damn nails…cutie must be rubbing off on me. Shit! I need to like…drink a beer and scratch my nuts or something…you know…manly kinda shit!

“Yes! We have to go back and tell the girls! Waterfalls are usually fresh, drinkable water, right? And then if we have spears made…I’m sure the animals go there to drink, too…so we can get some more food!” No more sooner did the words come out of his mouth and we were in a marathon style run, back to the base camp. The sand never felt better under my feet, than it did right then.

“WE FOUND WATER!” My voice was at top notch as I came skidding to a halt, bumping right smack into cutie. Luckily for her, my arm snaked around her waist, just in time to keep her upright. Next thing I knew, I was jumping around again…this time, holding onto her hands…like chicks do when the cutest guy in school asks one of them out. Ok…yeah…it’s becoming painfully obvious that I’m a little too in touch with my feminine side.

“Well? Where is it? How far?” Oh leave it to Resa, to bring down the mood.

“Um…well…technically…”