Damn it...what the...HELL just happened?!? I was right in the middle of another one of them vision dreams...this time, I was outside sabotaging the 'Just Married' get away limo with condoms, silly string and shaving cream. Come to think of it, last night I was awkwardly playing the part of Howie's groomsman...again...and the night before that I helping him get ready to go say 'I do' for the second time. Seriously...if I'm going to have visions of Howie's future every night, I'm gonna go fuckin' insane. Why can't I dream of my own future? But anyways...all that aside...I had actually been sleeping fairly well before I was rudely awoken! What gives? Never mind...I already know the answer to that because I can hear the evil little cackle from Mr Midget Pants. “What the fuckin' hell is your damn problem, short shit?!?”
“Don't go there, with me, or I'll sell your freakish tattooed hind end to a circus side show...Mr 'I poop myself when I see clowns'!” Oh he did not just go there! Why I aught a.... “Your snoring was getting out of hand, man. Maybe you should have that checked out sometime.” As if a guy has any fuckin' control over whether he snores, or not?! That damn smirk on his face was about to get 'checked out'...by my fist! If I had the proper pillows and my own bed then...nah...forget it...I snore then, too...but that doesn't give him the right to roll me out of bed and wake me up! Who the fuck did he think he was?!?
“Fuck you, D. You're about to see a whole hell of a lot more than just my fuckin' snoring get out of hand! Of that...I can promise.” Getting up, to dust myself off, should have been easy...but oooooooh no! Big fuckin' surprise, my damn foot got tangled up in one of the vines from my hammock...and my dumb ass tripped, landing me back, face down, in the fuckin' sand. Go fuckin' figure. As if that wasn't enough...Resa and Howie were cracking, the fuck, up...like it was the funniest damn thing they'd seen in their lives! What...the...HELL?!?
“Oh...my goodness...” Resa could barely even talk and it was really just making my sour mood even worse. I absolutely hate being laughed at...well...unless I want to be laughed at. You know what...never mind...I don't gotta explain myself. There's a whole list of certain things you don't do, when you know someone was woken up on the wrong side of the bed...er hammock...er sand...whatever the hell ever, you know what I mean, damn it. But you got another fuckin' thing comin' if you think I'm gonna explain that list right now.
“Quit being a baby, AJ. You aren't hurt.” One of us was sure as hell about to get seriously hurt though, that's for damn sure! No one calls me a baby! NO....ONE!
“Fuckin' bring it Dorough! Let's see who the real baby is, huh? Ten to one odds...it ain't gonna fuckin' be me!” Finally to my feet, I tried to do a quick fix on the damaged hammock. Boy was he fuckin' lucky that the damage wasn't extensive!
“You don't have the balls McLean. Drop it and go back to sleep. Just...don't snore.” Oh. Yeah. Right. As if I have any fuckin' control over that? Whatever. My eyes narrowed some but my attention was caught by a whimper coming from the only one left sleeping. Her hammock creaked a bit as she shifted, but she didn't seem to actually wake up.
“Shhh! Quit your bickering! You'll wake Kris up!” Oh for pete fuckin' sake, dude! Miss attitude can allow Howie to rudely wake me up by dumping me in the damn sand, but heaven fuckin forbid if we wake cutie! Yeah...that totally sounds fair and all. What complete bull shit!
“You know what, Resa?! I don't give a rat's ass about waking up your precious best friend! As a matter of fact...” Maybe my next move wasn't the best damn idea I've ever come up with. Ok...I can admit it...I know for a damn fact...that it was a really shitty idea. But to my defense...I was rudely awoken in a very abrupt manner...and I don't think too clearly when that happens. It put me in a really bad fuckin' mood. Go ahead. Sue me. See if I give a fuck!
“AJ! NO!” Resa tried to stop me, she really did, but despite her best efforts I was closer. So before she could reach me, I flipped that one last occupied hammock and Kris flew into the sand, face first just like Howie had done to me. I couldn't help but cringe a little when I realized how hard she hit the ground. I guess I don't know my own strength. You know, I really have been working out a lot lately. I gotta pump up the guns for my lady, if you know what I'm sayin'. Not that I really needed it because let's face it, I'm hot either way...but toning up gives me that extra little umph that makes me downright irresistible! Just ask any female Backstreet fan. Shit, it doesn't matter what I do to my hair or beard...or even if I wear woman's skinny jeans and get my nails all done up...they still think I'm sexy! Buuuut...enough about me...back to what happened...
“AAAAAAH!” I had to cover my ears because that scream could wake the fuckin' dead and I ain't even embellishing. Wait...is embellishing even the right word? Hm. It's something like that. Hell, you know what the fuck I mean. Excuse me if my English ain't fuckin' perfect...as if I even paid attention to school once the group started up. “Wha...what...happened?” The blonde looked totally dazed and confused as she slowly sat up, her hands reaching up to rub at her eyes.
“AJ dumped you in the sand...the jerk.” Mhm...that would be Resa jumping right on in there to squeal on me...fuckin' peachy. I think cutie could have figured it out on her own, without the added help...but whatever. I guess this is I've figured out where we are...Gang Up On AJ Island...b-e-a-u-tiful!
“Oh.” Oh? Oh?!? She just got dumped into the sand...which had royally pissed me off when it happened to me...and all she says is 'oh'? Way to make me look like an ass in serious need of anger management. Alright...maybe I could actually use a session, or two but that's not the point. Shouldn't she be slapping me? Screaming? Retaliating is some manner? God...this chick really irritates the fuck outta me! Oh...now she's pouting...great...that helps my conscience a ton. I just pray no one tell my mom about all this...or my ass is grass. Judging by the look on her face...I'm gonna go ahead and guess...
“Kris? Are you okay?” Shoving my shoulder on the way by, Resa moved over to kneel beside a now sniffling blond that looked like she was about to burst into tears as she kept rubbing at her eye. It's just a little damn sand...how come no one came and knelt by me to make sure I was okay? Huh? They just stood there and laughed like I was some cheap stand up comedian, putting on an act.
“I'm fine it just...hurts.” She's fine...but it hurts? Doesn't being hurt usually equal not being fine? I mean maybe I'm a weirdo...don't even comment on that...but generally when I get hurt...okay never mind. I guess I do the same shit. I twist an ankle and hop along like an idiot, saying I'm fine. Great...now I feel like a bigger damn douche...I don't really mean to treat her so badly...she just annoys me and shit happens. Besides that...this chick is like...emotions on overdrive or whatever so it can't be totally my fault.
“Smooth move, McLean.” What the hell is he ganging up against me for? I guess I should have seen that coming, huh? This really is Gang Up On AJ Island! Yeah well I would have expected him to either back me up of keep his mouth shut. Oh well. Although it wasn't quite rising, yet, the sun was starting to light up the sky, making it plainly obvious that any hope of getting more sleep was going out with the tide...wait...maybe the tide comes in at this time? Hm. I'll have to pay closer attention, I guess. Time sure flies when you're having fun...but it also seems to fly by pretty damn fast when you're bickering, too.
“You started this whole fuckin' mess Dorough! So don't go blaming me for this shit.” I had to stand my ground. I'm not the type to back down. Really. I'm not. Ugh...I guess it's another one of those debatable subjects. I'm not getting into it, damn it. I wasn't backing down this time, though. Sending a scowl his way, I crossed my arms, trying not to be affected by the sniffling blond that was now standing up and trying to dust herself off.
“I...I'm...okay...” Those bright blue eyes kept blinking, as she continued trying to rub the sand from her eye. When she started walking, I knew this would just end up being a repeat of the last time...when I had to go find her. That didn't leave me much choice, so...I followed her, leaving the future couple there to tend the fire and hopefully make food.
“Getting off this island will be a miracle...getting off this island without them killing each other...well...that I don't even think is possible.” I heard Resa's comment but decided my ass was in enough trouble, so I ignored it and continued after Kris.
“Kris...wait up!” My toes dug into the sand as I jogged to close the gap between us. By the time I caught up to her, we had ventured pretty far from the base camp. “Does your eye still hurt?” Go ahead, call me the king of dumb questions...but how else was I supposed start up a conversation, right now?
“Yeah. It kinda...stings.” Thanks to Nick and his love for practical jokes, I knew exactly how she felt. Getting sand in your eyes isn't the most pleasant...in short...it fuckin' sucks. We had to figure a way of getting that sand out before she did more damage...sand can scratch the hell out of your eye, you know. After all...I might not really like the girl...ok, I can't fuckin' stand her...but she really did have some gorgeous, bright blue eyes and it would be a shame for one of her only assets to get all jacked up.
“Quit rubbin' at is, for fuck sake, woman. You'll just scratch your eye all to hell.” Grabbing her wrists, I forced her to stop rubbing her eye which just made her let out a muffled whine. I could tell she was trying to keep quiet and maybe it was to keep me from yelling at her...but I still heard it and it was still annoying.
“I'm sorry...it just really...stings.” Alright, that was the last straw. I had to do something to help the poor chick. Letting out a breath, I began to look around. Think, McLean, think. Wait a second...maybe...
“Okay, okay. Just...sit down for a minute...and don't rub it. I think...I have an idea.” Holding her elbow gently, I helped her sit down before running off. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if this would work like I was planning, but it was worth a shot because it was the only idea I had at the moment. Quickly I snatched up a few leaves of different sizes and hurried back to her. To my surprise, she wasn't rubbing at it...she had her arms wrapped tightly around her knees, to make sure of it.
“Oh good...you're back. It's so hard...not to rub at it Ale...AJ.” Oh lord...cutie almost pulled the 'Alex card', on me.
“Yeah. Now...we're gonna have to use the ocean water, because that's all we've got right now. I know the salt water can sting...or irritate your eye, but I really think that in the long run, it's better than that sand scratching it. Ok? So just...tilt your head back...keep your eye open...and hold still.” It took a few attempts...ok maybe like 50 because she wouldn't stop moving...or maybe it was just my hand shaking a little? Either way, it took a while. But I used a large leaf to scoop water from the ocean then dripped it onto a smaller leaf that sorta funneled it into her eye...thus washing the sand away. Thank God it worked!
By the time we got her eye taken care of and started walking back to camp, it had to be nearing lunch time and boy was I starving! Luckily, I could smell food as we got closer to camp. But it soon because obvious to me, as we got there, that something was very wrong...
Author's Chapter Notes:
First of all...I know AJ is confusing. He's got a serious complex. Blame him, not me. Second, this is a semi foul language filled AJ chapter. Third, thank you for those who have kept with up the story...I appreciate it!
