“What the hell…?” Everyone stopped, when we heard the loud ass growl. It was a very distinctive growl, too. You know how bears have a certain growl…which is different from a dog growl…and so on. Well, this particular growl could be one thing, and one thing only.
“Uh…excuse me.” Howie’s cheeks flushed a light pink as he looked around, at us, shrugging his shoulders and grinning. You know…that innocent little grin, of his…makes me sick sometimes. That goes for Nick’s, too. Why don’t I have a special grin that makes all the girls melt, damn it?!? Granted, my mom says that every smile I give can melt hearts…but she’s my mom…she has to say that, right?
“Dude. Seriously?” I couldn’t help myself, from rolling my eyes at him, like he was some annoying little kid. Can you fuckin’ blame me? We went over my shitty ass situation already, did we not? Ok. Good. Then we’re on the same damn page…and you know why the fuck I’m aggravated…so cut me some damn slack, huh.
Let me tell you…reaching land wasn’t all it was fuckin’ cracked up to be, either. Here I thought our asses were saved…boy was I fucking wrong. This damn place looks deserted. Judging by where we were, when the ship went down…and what not…I’m pretty damn sure we’re on some tiny ass island…in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere. That means we aren’t likely to get saved, any damn time soon. Ain’t that about a bitch?!?
So we make it onto the damn shore and…after growling at us…Howie goes right into his ‘daddy’ mode. Isn’t this fucking peachy? Here we are…God only knows where…and Howie decides we need rules. RULES!!! The only fuckin’ rule on my damn mind right now…is…to stay ALIVE…everything else is, pretty much, just details. But Howie…Howie can’t live without everything being all fuckin’ organized and shit…he’s just as bad as Kevin!
You want rules? I’ll give your ass some rules. Here ya go. A.J. McLean’s basic guide rules to survival are as follows…
1…if it moves, but isn’t human, kill the son of a bitch and eat it.
2…make sure you grill everything over the fire before you eat it…you don’t wanna be shittin your pants, an hour, later from food poisoning.
3…water is a must…however, do not drink it if it looks, smells or tastes like shit….because that means it probably is, at least, partially…shit.
4…if you come across anything that is bigger than you…high tail your ass outta there before it gets eaten.
5…for the love of God…don’t let anything bite your ass…or any other part of your body…some of those tiny ass bugs can really fuck your ass UP. And finally…
6…Protect yourself from harsh weather…slow death by the vicious hands of mother nature...in short…sucks ass.
Howie isn’t as clear cut as I am, though…oh no…he has to plan everything out like we’re preparing for a hostile take over, or some shit. The first thing he did was split us into groups. The not-so-happy couple, and the staff dude, got put on the task, of gathering fire wood. Howie and his obsessed looking fan were setting out, to find food. Then there was me and miss cutie…on shelter duty. I feel like I’m ten years old, at a fuckin’ day camp…being paired up with a swimming buddy…but I guess she’d technically be classed as a shelter buddy…seeing as we’re out to build a shelter, not swim around a fuckin’ buoy
Like I know how the fuck to make a damn shelter? I can’t do that shit if I’m given all the supplies AND a complete set of instructions. Now I have to go improvise and find the damn supplies? We’re not even talking a trip to the damn Home Depot, here, people! I don’t have a fuckin’ tool box, of tools, or a bag of nails…hell no…I got leaves and grass…and mother…fucking…damn…vines…oh, and sand, too! This is gonna be a real trip. What joy.
To make matters worse…cutie is starting to wear down on my last fuckin’ nerve. I didn’t know the damn rocks were there, ok?!? Like I’m some fuckin’ idiot who would purposely pop the only damn boat…raft…what-the-fuck-ever…that we have? Now she’s laggin’ behind, like we have all the fuckin’ time in the damn world. It’s getting close to nightfall, damnit…we’ve been hiking for a damn hour, or more…and it looks like there’s a bad ass storm rollin’ right toward us.
“Will you hurry the fuck up, already? We seriously don’t have all damn night, woman!” I couldn’t stop myself from sounding irritated as all fuck…because I was irritated as…no wait…I was irritated far beyond all fuck!
“Stop swearing at me! I’m doing the best I can!” Oh no. No! Damnit! She’s sniffling, like she’s about to start bawling. Man, I hate it when women fuckin’ cry! Aw shit! Don’t do this to me! First she’s bitchin’ me out…then she started whining…now she’s crying?!? I just need to ignore her and focus on the task at hand.
“Look. Here are some huge ass leaves that we can use. There was some wood washed up on shore…and vines are hanging all over the place. I think we can make this work enough, to get us through tonight. Let’s head back.” I piled her arms full of the leaves and grabbed as many as I could possibly carry, before heading back to the spot Howie had declared as our campsite. I have no damn clue what kind of leaves they were…but they were fuckin’ gigantic. “If we can rig up some kind of structure, with the wood and vines, we will be able to use these leaves as the roof.” Hopefully it would give enough coverage, to keep us dry, from the rain that was obviously going to come.
“Alright.” Her voice was much softer than it was earlier…it almost sounded vulnerable, or something. Despite my severe aggravation, and all, I could tell something wasn’t right with the woman…and it hadn’t been right for a while. I’m no fuckin’ genius when it comes to women, so I’ll be damned if I really had any damn clue what the issue was…but it seemed, to me, like she was in some kind of pain…and she was starting to look mighty unstable, too.
“Hey, AJ! I caught a fish, man! Check this out!” We made the long hike back and just as we broke through the brush, into the clearing of the beach, Howie was running up, to me, like he had just won the lottery, waving a fish in the air. I’m not sure what he was planning to do with the tiny ass thing, though.
“That’s great…there’s an appetizer for one. Now…what, the fuck, about the rest of us, genius?!?”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Warning: Another AJ chapter, LOL. That means foul language...the poor guy is so aggravated! But, I hope you all like it anyways.
Chapter End Notes:
Thank you for all the feedback, everyone! I really appreciate it!
