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Chapter Thirty One

"Hey, you're not dead!"

I groaned and pressed my face into the pillow. It was morning. The events of the night before hit me hard. I almost wished I was dead.

"Did they have to put a cork up there? I'm glad I'm a guy. Being a girl sucks."

"JOE!"

"What?"

"Leave Shelby alone!"

"Why?"

"NOW!"

"She's got to get up for school!"

"She's not going to school today. Now get in the kitchen."

Joe grumbled, yanked at a piece of my hair, jumped on the mattress and hopped over me. He landed with a boom on the hard wood floor.

"Is Shewby sick?" one of the twins asked from the kitchen.

It got kind of quiet.

"No, she's just tired," mom finally said. "Eat your eggs."

"These are eggs?" It was Joe again. "Are they supposed to bounce?"

"JONAH ADOLPH MCLEAN!"

"Ugh, dad."

The full-name effect worked. I didn't hear another word out of him. He really hated his whole name.

I think I might have faded back to sleep for a few more minutes but then I felt a light nudge. I looked up at Ally.

"I brought you toast," she said quietly.

I sat up and took the plate.

"Thanks Al," I said quietly. She bit her lip.

"Are you really okay?"

I was pretty sure I had cried myself out of tears last night, but I'll be damned if a few fresh ones didn't appear.

"I'm..."

"Ally, come in here and eat your breakfast sweetie."

Ally leaned down and kissed my cheek. I watched her walk back into the kitchen.

I nibbled on the toast and then got up to use the bathroom. The blood was minimal. Of course, anything would have been minimal compared to yesterday.

By the time I headed back to the couch, Ally and Joe had left for school. Mom set up this little table with water and sand for the twins to play at and plopped a huge pair of headphones on both of their heads. They held their hands to the earpieces and giggled.

Mom came and sat by me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay," I said softly.

Dad came out of the kitchen wiping his hands. He sat down beside mom.

I had thought the whole 'getting caught in the truck' incident had been bad. Then I had thought it couldn't get any worse than the 'shower' fiasco.

But I was wrong. This was worse.

"Shel, we both wanted to talk to you about this situation," dad said. "We want to help you figure out what to do."

"I don't know what to do," I said quietly.

Mom was looking like she was struggling not to cry again.

"I know you're scared and I know this is confusing," she said. She took a big breath. "because I've been in your shoes."

I looked at her in confusion.

"You weren't sixteen when you had me," I said. Dad took mom's hand. He studied the painting over the fireplace like it was the Mona Lisa. I knew those cues well. He was nervous. Mom sighed.

"No, but I got pregnant at sixteen," mom said.

"What?"

She gave me a tiny flicker of a smile.

"I wasn't a saint, Shel. I had a thing for musicians. Well, I still do."

Dad looked at her and smiled. Then the smiles faded.

"But..."

"I made the decision not to go through with it."

My eyes widened. "You..."

She nodded. "Yeah. It was..."

She trailed off. I finally realized at that moment why my uber-cool mom had turned into a tyrant where Mason was concerned.

I had been practically running right down the same path she had made.

"But what about the guy?" I asked.

"It was a one time thing," mom said.

That was the big difference. Mason wasn't a one-time thing. I wiped my eyes.

"I don't want to do that," I said. "I...know I can't..."

"I really didn't want you to," mom said softly. "But this is going to be your choice."

I cracked my knuckles. The noise sounded loud even to my own ears. Off in the corner the twins held up wet sandy hands. They grabbed their headphones and took them off.

The trick that had worked so well for me when I was little didn't work well with the boys.

"ICKY!" Brayden laughed.

Dad sat down and showed them proper sand-castle building techniques. They had been obsessed with that little table since they had come back from the beach. I looked back at mom.

"I'll have the baby," I said. "I just don't know...maybe adoption...I just...I'm not ready."

Mom reached out and put a hand on my knee.

"You don't have to make all the decisions today Shel. I just wanted to see where your head was at."

I almost laughed. I didn't even know where my head was at.

--------------------------

"He didn't kill me but I've never seen him so angry in my life."

I sighed. "I'm sorry Mas."

"No, it's my fault."

"It's our fault."

We both got quiet. Mom and dad had called Kevin and talked to him for a little longer. Then mom had passed me the phone. Ally and Joe were sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. At least Ally was. Joe was eating the eraser off his pencil.

Ick.

"I can't get down there until Halloween," Mason said.

"But you can come?"

"Dad and I are flying down."

That was almost five weeks away. I sighed.

"Hey Shel?"

"Yeah?"

"You're, I mean we...we're keeping it right?"

"Like right now?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah. I'm...going to do this," I said uncertaintly.

"And after?"

"I don't know." I paused. "What do you think?"

"I don't know."

We got quiet again.

"We've got time," Mason said softly.

"Yeah."

"I wish I could have been there yesterday," Mason added.

I thought back. There was no way I would have wanted him to see...that.

"It was gross."

"Could you imagine having twins?"

I laughed. I couldn't even imagine having one right now.

"No," I finally said. I reached out and took a sip from my glass of water.

"We're going to have to be so careful," Mason said. "Even when we get married. I only wanted like two kids."

The water had gone half-way down, but it shot back up and out of my mouth. The coffee table was sprinkled with little drops.

"What?"

"Well, I mean not now, but that was kind of always my plan. I mean I had kind of thought that we'd graduate and go to college. Then before I went to med school I thought we'd get married. Of course I didn't expect...this."

I sank back into the couch. I was the type of person that woke up and didn't even know what to do that day. And then here was Mason with all these plans. College. Med school. Marriage?

"I...wow."

Mason laughed softly.

"Don't listen to me ramble. Just take care of yourself. I'll call you tomorrow. They're not going to stop me from calling you every day."

I clutched the phone and closed my eyes.

"I love you Shel."

"Love you too, Mas."

I hung up and let out a big sigh. I heard Joe belch from the kitchen. Ally let out a squeal and ran into the living room covering her nose. Joe strolled behind her grinning.

This weekend we were going to let Ally and Joe know. It was silly, but I felt even more ashamed having to tell them.

Some role model I was.