Finally after a week of concerts, we had a day off.  I was relaxing by the pool.

Things had not changed between Nick and me. We barely said two words to each other. I did feel better knowing that Nick knew the truth. The weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I prayed the eventually Nick and I could at least be friends. I realized that my dream of us getting back together wouldn’t be happening.

“Hey Rachel! What’s up?” I looked up from my book and saw Howie sitting in the lounge chair beside me.

“Hi Howie.” I said quietly. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone the past few days. I wanted to wallow in my pity.

“You sound sad. Is anything bothering you?” He asked in concern.  I knew that Howie cared but I didn’t feel like talking to him.

“Yes Howie, but I don’t feel like talking about it. There’s nothing you can do to help me this time. It needs to work itself out.” He nodded and let me read my book. Howie was a good friend, he knew when to mind his own business.

------------------------------

I stepped out of the shower and put on a clean robe, as someone knocked on my door. Quickly I looked out the peephole, I was surprized by who I saw. I opened the door to let Nick in.

“Did you just get out of the shower? I can come back later.” He said quickly, looking embarrassed.

“Stay. Just let me change.” Grabbing my pajamas I went into the bathroom. I changed quickly and went back into my room.

“Cute jammies!” He smiled at me. I had to laugh. He thought my frog jammies were cute.

“Thanks.” I mumbled. Why was he here? Was he going to tell me that he never wanted to talk to me again?

“I think we need to talk. I apologize for the past few days. Our last conversation was hard for me to digest.” I nodded my head. I was nervous about what he was going to say.

“Rachel, I have loved you for the past twelve years. The day I met you was like a fantasy to me. I fell in love with you the second I saw you. Why do you think I comforted you when you fought with AJ? At the time I didn’t realize why I was doing it. The other guys teased me about it. I didn’t care because I only cared about you.”

“Nick, I still love you.” I needed him to know that I still cared about him as much as I did before all of this happened. I didn’t want him out of my life. I was worried about what he was going to say to me.

“Ray, let me finish. It took me a long time to ask you out. I had to be certain you felt the same way. For five years I was in love with you but was afraid to say anything. Kevin had to literally tell me that you liked me and made me ask you out. That was the best day of my life. You said yes and after that my world was different. You showed me what life was all about.” Nick sat down beside me. He took my hand and placed it in his.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before? I thought we told each other everything.”

“I thought you knew. I mean we fell in love so quickly. After four years with you I wanted to get married. I loved you more than anyone else. I knew I couldn’t live without you. Waiting to marry you was one of the hardest things in my life, but I knew I would wait until you were ready.”

“What if I was never ready?”

“Then I would have understood. We could be together without getting married. I just wanted to be with the woman I loved. When you left I didn’t know what to do. The guys said to go look for you, but I couldn’t. I wanted to, but I knew you had left for a reason and that me finding you wouldn’t help. It pained me to see that I hurt you enough to make you leave.”

“Nick, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I love you now as much as I loved you then. I couldn’t stand to break your heart, but I realize I broke it anyway.” I stood up, being that close to him was making me flushed. I didn’t have any answers to make this situation right. It was now up to Nick, he held the cards.

“I always knew you would come back. Our love was too strong for you to be gone forever. After a year, I came to understand that it wasn’t my fault and that you had to work things out on your own. I knew where you were, but I knew that if I came to get you, nothing would change. You’re stubborn and I can’t change that. Waiting for you to come back was the only thing I could do. The guys didn’t understand how I could keep waiting for you. No one thought you would come back, except me.”

“So, what happens now?” I was afraid to hear what he was going to say. I sat on the bed, waiting for him to speak. He sat there quietly for about ten minutes. This only gave me time to worry about what he was going to tell me.

“Ray, I have never stopped loving you. You are my life, my world. I can’t live my life knowing that you aren’t in it. Yes, I’m mad at you because of what you did, but I don’t want you out of my life. Since you came back I’ve been happier.”

“Nick, I was afraid. I know what I did was wrong and I undestand that you are angry with me. I love you with all my heart. I want things back the way they were three years ago.”

“I don’t know if we can go back to the way things were, but I’m willing to be your friend. If it turns out to be more, than so be it, but right now all I can offer you is friendship.”

Friendship was better than nothing. At least he was willing to give me a second chance. I knew that he was still hurting, as was I, but he was a better man than I thought. I wanted Nick in my life and if friendship was the only way, I  had no other choice.

“There’s nothing I would like more. I always need a good friend in my life.” Nick’s face inched closer to mine. It looked like he was going to kiss me. “Remember we’re friends so we probably shouldn’t kiss.”

“You’re right. How about a hug?” I nodded my head as Nick gave me a hug. It felt good to be in his arms.”Well it’s late, so I will see you in the morning.”

He walked out of my room. I sat there staring at the door.

I needed someone to talk to, so I went to see who was on instant messenger. My mom was online, so I decided to talk to her.

Cinderella bsb: Hi mom!

Denise bsb: Hi sweetie. How are you? How’s the tour? Is Alex behaving?

Cinderella bsb: I’m doing well. The tour is great. I wouldn’t know about Alex, since he’s not talking to me. How are things in Florida?

Denise bsb: Pretty good. I miss you and Alex. It’s sooo quiet here. How are things with Nick? You haven’t killed each other yet?

Cinderella bsb: Not yet. We have talked some things out and decided to be friends for now. I think it’s going to work between us.

Denise bsb: I’m glad that you and Nick are going to be friends. Don’t get your hopes up about getting back together.

Cinderella bsb: Thanks mom. You make me feel so much better.

Denise bsb: It’s not that honey. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Alex told me Nick was interested in someone.

Cinderella bsb: Mom, why can’t you be happy for me? All you care about is making sure that Nick and I don’t get together. Why are you against me and him?

Denise bsb: I’m not against you and Nick. Remember I was the one who stuck up for you two against Jane. I just don’t want you to get hurt if Nick decides that he is in love with someone else. You aren’t the same person you were before. Neither is Nick. Your relationship might not be able to get past your leaving.

Cinderella bsb: Whatever mom. Bye.

My mother was just like everyone else. No one wanted to see me and Nick together. I couldn’t figure out why everyong was against us. My own family would rather see me miserable than to be happy with Nick. I needed to talk with my mom and Alex. Things needed to be straigtened out.