“I do appreciate it Janelle,” Daphne said as she got a spoon full of vanilla pudding.
“I told you I would… What did you write in the letter to AJ?” Janelle asked as she bit into her bagel.
Daphne shrugged as she looked out the window of the deli they sat in. “I told him the truth.” She said as she stared at the people walking by. “You know we really should head back home soon, I could still bump into him around here.”
“The truth? As in the truth about your health or the truth about you being obsessed with him since you were like twelve?” Janelle asked as she ignored the second question.
“As in everything.” Daphne said nonchalantly.
“Oh my are you serious… wow you have guts.” Janelle said.
“No I just want him to realize he can’t like me I am no good, I am on death row.” She said licking her spoon. She took a deep breath and looked at Janelle, “I had them take away the catheter and I told them I don’t want anymore medicine. I’m done.”
Janelle spit out the piece of bagel she had in her mouth and looked at her friend. “Are you crazy? Those stuff help you Daph.” She said a little too harsh.
“Well I don’t want them anymore. I am tired of it… they don’t work. I just want to get this over with.” She said angry too and walked out leaving a bewildered Janelle.
Daphne’s tears made it blurry to see as she walked to the park. She took a seat on a bench and took a deep breath. “Just Breathe.” She told herself as she closed her eyes. Soon she would be back home and everything would be fine… as fine as she could manage.
*********
“SO have you read it?” Nick asked Alex as they both sat on the studio staring at the envelope in his hands.
“No.” Alex said as his thumb traced the letters that spelled Alex on the front of the envelope. “I can’t.”
“This is some fucked up shit,” Nick said as he snatched the letter from AJ’s hand. “Here let me do the honors. She’s creepy…”
“NO Nick!” Alex yelled following him to no avail he was now inside the recording studio the door locked. He clenched his teeth as Nick gave him a smirk as he opened the letter. “You better not,” he said through the intercom.
“Just let me ok I promise I won’t tear it ok? I have the guts to do this.” Nick said as he took the pages out of the envelope. A few puff balls seeds falling as he did. “What the?” he said finally unfolding the pages. “You trust me right?”
“Yeah,” Alex said in resignation, Nick was right he had no guts to open it was best that Nick did and told him what it said.
He watched Nick read his face changing as he read on. “Nick what does it say?”
“Just wait,” Nick said as he continued to read. Finally after ten more minutes Nick looked up with a wry smile. “I think you need to read this.”
“Just tell me what it says.” Alex said as Nick came out of the recording booth and handed him the letter back like it had been earlier.
“I can’t I mean I think its best you read it.” Nick said patting his friend’s shoulders. “I think you are in for the shock of your life… see you tomorrow.” Nick said walking toward the door. “By the way I would love to borrow the Stang some time.”
Alex was now angry Nick had just read this letter before him and had the nerve to not tell him what it contained? He opened the envelope and took the pages. He took a deep breath and began to read it…
Alex,
“What is right to be done cannot be done too soon.” Jane Austen.
With that said I should begin by telling you not to feel guilty about the kiss. I know you are probably wondering why I decided to leave so sudden but after reading this I hope you will understand.
There are two reasons on why I decided it was time for me to go. One is that when I arrived here in LA, I met great people amongst them is Rochelle. She is a beautiful person and she really does love you very much. I believe she will make you very happy and you deserve it.
Why I say this? Well because I might have not completely told you how much of a teenybopper I was back in the ninety’s. I didn’t want to make you think I was an obsessed fan because well I’m not. I just really do appreciate good music. I’ve loved the Backstreet boys since they made it big here in the US.
Once you asked me who my favorite backstreet boy was well… I could not answer you then because I didn’t want to freak you out. Now I will tell you that YOU have been my favorite Backstreet boy since I remember. I always felt some sort of connection with you. I know I’m weird but trust me I didn’t come to LA to stalk I wouldn’t do that. That would really make me a psycho I think.
The reason why I found myself in LA has to do with reason number two of my departure. I don’t like people to feel sorry for me, but I think you deserve to know. I was thirteen when I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I struggled with it but after a bone and marrow transplant everything seemed to go well with me. I even graduated high school and enrolled in college. It wasn’t till two years ago that I found out my cancer is back. It’s rare but it did… again I went through treatments but nothing helped. I took this as a sign that maybe I was meant to live a short life and instead of worrying about how to make my life last longer I should live to the fullest whatever I have left.
So I embarked in a journey that started in New York, my parents weren’t as supportive of my decision but had no choice but to accept it. I’ve been on medication but it only helps coop with my pain. I made a list of things I wanted to do before I died and in that list was you.
I wanted to get to know you the real you aside from you being in a band. I wanted to be your friend and nothing more. I never meant to feel more than a teenage crush on you. When I met you I just realized how great of a guy you are.
I just wanted to be your friend and Rochelle’s. I really meant no harm and in all honesty I really think you’re talented. I didn’t think you would feel anything more for me than friendship too… but when you told me what you did that day on the beach I knew I couldn’t continue to be around you for my sake and yours.
I really do need to focus on the rest of my list and so I decided to leave. I also wanted you to have my Stang… I could not leave it in better hands. Enjoy it and go on late night drives without getting caught by the police… lord knows you can’t get off as easy as I did especially if it’s a male officer.
Meeting you has been a great experience and I will treasure our time together. I wish you and Rochelle the best. Always remember to be you… you are great person and when things are going hay wire just breathe… close your eyes and just breathe.
I will understand if you are mad at me for this. The good thing is if you are angry at me for this, for not telling you the truth I won’t be there to see that anger and disappointment in your eyes.
Your friend (and fan),
Daphne Newbury
P.S.: “As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.” Leonardo Da’Vinci (One of my favorite quotes. I hope it enlightens you as it has done to me.)
Alex took a deep breath as he finished reading it. So she was sick and really sick actually. He had been right in suspecting he was her favorite Backstreet boy. He didn’t know if he was angry or hurt by this. To some extent he understood her.
*******
“Ok I got this, I know how to put my scarf on Janelle.” Daphne said as she wrapped it around her neck.
They had just arrived at the airport in Madison and were now searching for Everett. Janelle smiled as she made eye contact with him. “There is your brother,” she told Daphne.
Daphne looked up and toward where Janelle was pointing. “Huh, what is Chase doing here? I did you tell him I was coming home?”
“NO,” Janelle said nervously. Ok maybe she had but it was for a good cause. Chase would be the best antidote for Daphne’s broken heart. She was not stupid Daphne really had fallen for Alex.
“I’m going to kill you.” Daphne said as she smiled as her brother and ex boyfriend approached them.
“Hey you.” Everett said hugging her. “You look good.” He said but the look on his face said differently.
“Thanks.” Daphne said knowing well that is not what he really wanted to say.
“Daph,” Chase said giving her a smile. He wrapped his arms around her and inhaled her scent. “I’ve missed you.”
“Chase,” Daphne said wrapping her arms around him. She had forgotten how cute he was and his arms around her made her feelings for him come back. “I’ve missed everybody too.” She said not wanting to give him any hopes of reconciliation.
“Well we should head home mom made your favorite,” Everett said awkwardly as Chase continued to hug Daphne.
“Yeah good idea.” Daphne said. She gave Janelle a look and she nodded. She didn’t want her family to know she had stopped her treatments. Only Janelle and she would know that.
********
Alex made it to his house and as he opened the gate he gasped in surprise. He parked and turned off the car. He put the letter in the glove compartment and stepped out of the car. “Monkee what are you doing here?”
“Well as it turns out I hate family trips now… I’ve missed you so much so I decided to come back home and spend a few days with you before you headed out to Tennessee.” Rochelle said as she hugged him.
Alex hugged her back before kissing her. “I’ve missed you too.”
Rochelle smiled after pulling away from the kiss… “Hey I have a question what is Daphne’s mustang doing in our garage?”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Ok so here is the next bit... I really would love some feedback. I only got one review last chapter... I would love to read what think even if its about what you did not like. I love good criticism. :)
