No disappointments
No expectations on your whereabouts
-The Radio Dept 'Strange Things Will Happen'
I hung up the phone, yawning as I looked out the window. Kevin was in the airport and for whatever reason he decided that it was necessary to call me and let me know he was on his way back to LA. And that he was bringing Brian and Leighanne with him.
Not that it mattered, it wasn't like I was going to see them. I was sure Brian was just going to go visit AJ and then go back to Atlanta to make the most of his break. I couldn't blame him, I knew he hated LA.
I sat there sipping my coffee and reading my book for a little while longer. Eventually I heard Nick coming down the stairs, his suitcase in tow.
He walked into the room and looked at me. “My taxi's going to be here soon,” he said, licking his lips and looking out the window.
I debated telling him that he didn't have to leave, but I figured there was no point. He'd obviously already made up his mind. “You don't have to-” I started, because the words left my mouth without thinking. I didn't want to play his little game, but I couldn't help it. I just felt so bad for him.
“I know I don't, Howie,” he said sharply, giving me another look before staring out the window. “But I want to, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, shaking my head and holding up my hand. I didn't need his attitude, especially when I was just trying to help.
But Nick was never one to appreciate help.
He just stood there looking out the window until his taxi came. And I just went back to my book because it was obvious that he didn't want to have any sort of conversation.
“There's the cab,” he said, pulling his suitcase over to the front door. “Bye, Howie. See ya whenever we go back on tour.”
He was so dramatic. We were going back on tour in a week. Maybe a couple days more. “Bye,” I said, giving him a slight wave of my hand.
He nodded, raising his eyebrows a bit before we walked out the door. I just shook my head and went back to my book. There wasn't much else I could do, and I tried not to dwell on him too much.
Easier said than done.
I leaned my head against the airplane window and stared outside. The sky was blue and bright and that made it hard for me to sleep.
Not that I was tired. I slept pretty good at Howie's house. But I was pretty bored because airplanes are pretty fucking boring.
“Something to drink, sir?” I looked up at the flight attendant as she stood there with the drink cart. Oh, I also booked by fucking flight late and so I was sitting in coach. Who the fuck sits in coach? Not me, that's who.
Well, except for the day.
I looked at her. My hood was up and I hoped to god no one recognized me. The last thing I needed was some screaming thirteen year old. I just wanted to be left the hell alone. The fans could scream when we went back on tour. Which was going to be like... years away.
Okay, fine, like a week away. But that felt like years away. I was just ready for this break to be over already. Because then I wouldn't have to think about what the fuck I was doing with my life, I'd already be doing what I was doing with my life.
“Coke,” I said, trying to lower my voice so that she didn't recognize it and then ask me to sing I Want It That Way for the whole plane.
She nodded, pouring it into a clear plastic cup. “Got any rum for that coke?” I asked her, my voice still low.
She looked at me kind of oddly but then went back to her happy flight attendant self. “We do,” she said, bending down and digging through the bottom half of the cart. I leaned in a bit and checked out her ass – those flight attendants had cute little outfits. Maybe if I pulled my hood down and talked normally she'd realise who I was and then I could fuck her in one of those little bathrooms.
I didn't do that though. Kinda lazy. “It's five dollars,” she said, holding up one of those little travel size bottles of white rum.
I gave her an unimpressed look, but I really wanted the rum so I dug into my back pocket for my wallet. Fucking small airplane seats in coach. I pulled out a five dollar bill and held it out to her. Who the fuck pays extra for rum? I got it for free on every other flight. No wonder people who fly coach are always so annoyed.
“I'm sorry, we only accept credit cards,” she said, not even taking the money from my hand.
I sighed and stuffed it back into my wallet. I handed her my credit card instead.
She did whatever she did, taking the card and swiping it on some old looking machine. She handed a piece of paper for me to sign, which I did with just a scribble. My actual fucking signature instead of the one I used on CDs and shit.
“Thank you Mr. Carter,” she said with a smug look on her face as she took the piece of paper and handed me the bottle of rum. Then she pushed the drink cart away.
What a bitch. I should've fucked her.
I took a sip of my coffee and stared out the airplane window. We'd be landing in LA shortly, and I was eager to be home.
It had been nice to see my family, but after a weekend of endless dinners, brunches and small talk I'd had enough. I was ready to be back in LA and back to my real life.
Whatever that was now, since we were on a break. But It'd be over soon, and things would be better. No more arguments with AJ about his drinking and all the drugs. And that was definitely something to look forward to.
“More coffee sir?” the flight attendant asked me, walking by with a stainless steel pot. I shook my head. That was one thing I didn't like about first class, the flight attendants were always pestering you, asking if you needed anything. Not that I didn't appreciate the service, of course I did. But sometimes I just wanted to be left alone.
I'd probably just sit in coach if it wasn't for the possibility of being recognized and bothered in an entirely different way. Not that it couldn't happen in first class, but the possibility was much less.
I looked out the window again. We were obviously starting to descend, because everything was just white. Must have been going through a cloud.
I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. It'd be good to get home.
I tossed my things onto the bed of Kevin's guest room. I'd contemplated just getting a hotel, but I figured that'd piss him off. I didn't need that – he was already annoyed enough and we did have to go back to work fairly soon. Better to not start any drama right before we jumped back on tour.
“Are you going to go see AJ now?” Leighanne asked, sitting down on the bed and looking up at me.
She didn't outright say it, but I knew she wasn't going to come with me to visit AJ. Why would she? It wasn't like she cared how he was doing. She'd never really liked him.
And that was fine. My wife didn't have to be friends with my co-workers, she just had to accept that they were there and be civil. Which was sometimes hard for her, but nobody's perfect.
“Yeah,” I said, leaning over and kissing her. Our flight had landed in the early afternoon, and we had to get moving if we wanted to make the visiting hours.
She nodded. “See you soon.”
“Love you,” I said, checking my pockets to make sure I had everything I needed before going downstairs to meet Kevin.
“Ready?” he asked as we walked out of his house and over to his car.
I shrugged. I was a lot more ready than I had been when we'd gone to see him in rehab, that was for sure.
We drove down the highway. Kevin usually put the top down, but he didn't that day. Probably because it looked like it was going to rain and he didn't want to risk even a drop of water getting inside his car. Kevin's a stereotypical car guy who won't let you so much as chew gum inside it.
I knew that because I remembered him having a pretty heated discussion with Nick about it. And of course Nick had just smacked on his gum, pulled it out of his mouth and started playing with it with his fingers.
“Is Nick still staying at Howie's?” I asked. Not that I was going to go visit him or anything, he wasn't the one in transitional care. Even though he probably would be soon enough.
“Nah,” Kevin shook his head, keeping his eyes out on the road. “Went home this morning.”
I nodded, looking out the passenger's side window and watching LA go by. There wasn't much else to say until we got there.
“Nice place,” I said once we parked.
Kevin nodded, looking up at it. It just looked like a really nice house – brick and brown and nothing overly fancy. There was a fountain outside and a cobblestone walkway.
We stepped inside, signing in as visitors. Then we were led into this lounge area when someone went to go find AJ.
I glanced around. It was a lot different than the rehab facility, but it was good. Transitional care was definitely the right idea, and I hadn't even seen AJ yet. I just knew it. If time was what he needed, we'd give him as much of it as we could.
“B-rok!” came AJ's unmistakable voice as he walked towards us. I smiled at the use of my old nickname.
“Hey,” I said, pulling him in for a hug. “How's it going, man? Got a really nice place here.”
He nodded and smiled. It made me feel so much better. Not that I expected him to be right back to his old self – that test would come when we were soon back out on the road. But just seeing that all his progress was still there, and that it had stuck with him after rehab and into the next phase of his recovery was just great.
“Thanks,” he said, glancing around. “How're things going with you? Are you here to stay now?”
I shook my head. “No, just for the day. We're going back to Atlanta tomorrow. I'll come back when it's time to start getting ready to tour again.”
AJ nodded his head. “That's coming up soon, isn't it?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Pretty soon.”
He whistled a bit, but he smiled. “Can't wait,” he said finally. “It'll be so good to be back out on stage and perform with a more clear head.”
I smiled when he said that and couldn't help but pull him in for another hug. I wished all of us thought the same way AJ did, which was something I never thought I'd say.
