"Check the shower head."
"I'm going to check the shower head."
"The first thing you need to do is pull the escutcheon at the shower head and see if you can see the connection."
"The friggin' what?"
"I told you; let me see what's going on."
"This is my domain," I said. I turned back to the shower head. I had a wrench in my hand and determination in my heart.
I also had no fucking clue what I was doing.
"How many things have you fixed in your life Nick?" Kev asked. "If I remember correctly, every time something breaks, your solution is just to move."
I scowled. "That's not the reason I move so much."
"You move more than the nomads!"
I turned and shook the wrench at Kevin. "Suck my balls." It wasn't my best comeback, but it was all I had.
Kev rolled his eyes. He stole a glance at Shay. So did I. Jake's hands wrapped around her leg and he smiled.
"Is the tub still drippy?" he chirped.
"I'm going to fix it," I said proudly. Jake was watching me in awe. I felt the epicness of the moment. The future of my son's cleanliness was now resting in my hands.
"Tell you what," Kev drawled after another minute of me fumbling around. "Why don't you show your son here how a real man fixes a tub while I take Shay out to a movie."
I paused and looked at the both of them.
"Seriously?"
Kevin smiled. "Seriously. That is if Shay would like to see a movie."
Kev and I both looked at her. Shay's mouth had formed a big 'O'.
We had left her speechless.
Any girl in her right mind would be in heaven if she had two guys in her shower. Unfortunately, I had lost my mind years ago. The tension was building between Nick and Kevin as they fought for the title of 'tub fixer.' Kevin was trying to be helpful and Nick was being stubborn. Currently, he was finging my showerhead and looking right at me. The sight wasn't near as sexy as it sounds. I was one hundred percent positive he had no clue where to even begin.
Kevin had just asked me if I wanted to go and see a movie. I didn't answer right away. On one hand, the sight of Nick messing around with my much-needed tub was making me nervous. I would be better off being anywhere but in the bathroom witnessing certain doom. However, I was also sure my imagination was going to run away with me if I left Jake alone with him.
On the other hand, I hadn't been to a non-Disney movie in two years. It was a nice day and Kevin's green eyes were hard to resist.
"That sounds good," I found myself saying.
Ten minutes later, Nick was still fiddling in the bathroom. Jake was sitting on the toilet watching Nick as if he was Zeus. I knelt down next to him.
"I want you to be a good listener," I said seriously. Jake stuck his fingers in his mouth, grinned, and nodded.
"If you need anything call me. Hit the number two and the green button, okay?"
I got another slobbery grin and a nod. I covered his face in kisses.
"And what's the number you call if someone's hurt?"
Jake's fingers slid out of his mouth. "9-1-1!"
I smiled. "Very good."
"We won't be needing 9-1-1," Nick said. We looked at each other. I hated that his eyes still made me weak; I was such a sucker for blues and greens. I swear to God that Nick was still the king of 'fuck me' eyes.
But then again, Kevin had cornered part of the 'bedroom eyes' market. And Kevin hadn't called me a fatass. The blue eyes that were chipping away the ice around my heart had said that...and so much more. I stood up.
"Don't let him out of your sight," I warned. Nick rolled his eyes and hitched up his jeans that were sliding down his ass.
"I won't. He's going to help me. Aren't you Jake?"
Jake giggled and nodded. I still had a bad feeling. I ran my finger along my purse strap.
"We'll be back in a couple hours," I said.
"Buh-bye," Nick said. He gave me a finger wave.
"Buh-bye!" Jake repeated.
Kevin was waiting for me in the living room. He looked up and smiled at me.
"Are we ready?" he asked.
"Ready or not," I said.
"It won't be that bad. I'm hard on him, but Nick's got a lot of maturity now," Kev whispered. He took my hand.
I wanted to believe him, I really did.
But I had practically been born a skeptic. I wouldn't relax until I saw for myself that things had gone well.
And if they didn't go well...
I was going to rip every blonde hair out of Nick Carter's head.
I felt better once I heard the door close. Jake was sitting on the toilet, his legs swinging back and forth.
"Wanna help me?" I asked.
"Sure!"
"C'mere," I said.
Jake hopped off the toilet and crawled into the tub. We stood side by side. He looked up at me; I looked up at the shower head. A big drop of water hit my nose.
"Hold this wrench," I said. Jake grabbed it with both hands and staggered under the weight. I wrapped my hands around the shower head and twisted with all my might.
That was just the first of many mistakes. I ended up snapping the head completely off. The second mistake was forgetting to shut off the main water supply. The third mistake was neglecting to tell Jake not to play with the water handles.
"I like when this goes up and then it goes woosh!" he explained. I've got to admit, I wasn't paying attention. I was staring at copper tubes in dismay. What I did pay attention to was the so called 'woosh' and the geyser of water that came out and rained down on us both.
"It's like a water-faww!" Jake shouted in delight.
I dropped all the little bits and pieces I had in my hand, scooped him up and hopped out of the tub. My sneakers made a gross squishing sound. Jake made little spitting sounds against my face. Our hair was plastered to our foreheads.
"Should I call 9-1-1?" Jake asked. I couldn't help it; I laughed.
"Not yet," I said. "Not yet."
I stripped both of us down to our underwear. I was able to get Jake dressed in less than five minutes. I threw my clothes in the dryer and called maintenance.
"Yes, I'm in Shay Gerard's apartment. She called to have someone from maintenance look at her tub and nobody's shown up yet. We have a major water emergency," I said.
"Has anyone spotted the source of the problem?" the woman on the other end of the line asked.
Jake wrapped his kids-size Snuggie around my shoulders and squeezed my neck.
"Now you'll be warm," he whispered in my free ear.
"Sir?"
"There's a lot of problems," I said slowly. I hung up, turned, and flipped Jake over my shoulder and onto my lap. He laughed hysterically as I kept tickling him.
I was totally in love with Jake. The more I saw of him, the less I wanted to leave him. I wished things weren't so complicated. But how much more complicated could they get? I was in a serious relationship with one hell of an awesome girl. One of my best friends was dating the mother of my child and scoring brownie points with my son. I was inept at fixing household shit.
And I couldn't get Shay's sultry brown eyes out of my mind.
Problems? You bet your sweet ass.
