When you have to spend the night underneath a three hundred pound hulk of lard, you can imagine that you don't get a lot of sleep. I couldn't even toss and turn. Around four a.m., I admitted defeat. I rooted around in my bag, grabbed a little secret stash of 'dessert' that I had hidden in the lining, and headed outside.
It was eerily quiet. The sky was a perfect jet black. The stars sparkled above. I sat down on the back step to the cabin and wiped the dirt away with my hands.
I didn't bring a cutting plate. Instead, I had to use a little ingenuity. I took my razor blade and made two thin lines. I looked around.
I was alone. I lowered my body down and quickly snorted. I tossed my head back and gasped.
The euphoria hit fast. I ran my hand through my hair. I stopped and licked my fingers. My throat felt dry, but not in a bad way. I stood up and scraped my shoe along the step to erase any possible trace left.
I swung my arms around. I couldn't go back in. I ran in place. I was already exercising. This was great. I decided to take a walk.
My feet crunching in the packed dirt sounded amazingly loud to my ears. I tied the strings of my hoodie tighter around my neck. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest; I loved the rush the stuff produced.
It was dark, but as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings, I made out a shape that was stationed halfway between the two camphouses. I slowed down and made my way cautiously forward. I was maybe ten feet away when I finally made out what it was.
Someone was sleeping on a lounge chair. I saw the large swell of a hip and knew it was distinctly female. I crept closer.
It was Shay. I smiled. I had the urge to do something wicked. It was a cruel thought, but I was sure she didn't get much action. There were no cameras around. If I just so happened to do the nasty with her, no one would be the wiser.
I was all set to kneel down and feel her up when I noticed something towards her feet. I leaned down for a closer look. My eyes widened.
There was a fuckin' snake crawling up her leg and I don't mean my johnson.
"Shay!" I hissed. "Shay!"
Her head rolled lazily to her side. She smiled. I reached out and tapped her shoulder. I glanced back at the snake. I knew I should do the honorable thing and get it off her; however, I wasn't feeling totally stupid at the moment.
"SHAY!" I said louder. The snake reached towards her vajayjay. Her smile widened. "Mmm."
That just confirmed she hadn't gotten lucky in awhile. If a snake could get her off...
I dug my nail into her shoulder. Her brow furrowed. Her eyes opened.
"What?" she said groggily.
"You have a snake on you," I said.
She looked at me like I was crazy. I pointed. She looked down.
Her blood-curdling scream made my teeth vibrate.
I had been having the most amazing dream. I don't know why, but Nick was playing Fabio in my fantasties. We had just gotten to the moment where he was thrusting into me when I felt a sharp stab on my shoulder. My eyes opened. I turned my head.
Nick was staring at me.
Had it been a dream?
"What?" I said groggily.
"You have a snake on you," he said.
A snake? Was that a metaphor for his cock? He pointed. I looked down.
It was no metaphor. There was a snake on my body.
I was terrified of snakes. I opened my mouth and let out a scream.
I didn't have a clue if it was poisonous. My leg jerked uncontrollably. The thing rolled right into my blankets. I scrambled up the chair. It bucked under my weight. I hit the dirt hard. I did a fast crawl for about ten yards. Then I stood up and started to jump like a maniac. My hands slapped at my body.
Lights went on in both camphouses. Everyone came to the door.
"What the hizzle's going on?" one of the guys shouted.
"It's alright!" I heard Nick say. "Just a snake!"
"SNAKE?!" Darra screamed. "FUCK SNAKES! I AM OUT OF HERE!"
She took off down the steps. I don't think she saw me. She marched with a purpose, her ass hanging out of her nightie. She had on spikey night slippers with feather boa fur dancing along the sides. They were the kind of shoes that porn stores sold.
I don't think she could see very clearly. By now, I was totally awake. My eyes grew in horror as I saw her foot meet snakeskin. The snake curled up. Darra went balistic.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" she bellowed. "I'MMA MAKE A PURSE OUTTA YOU!"
She yanked off her shoe and started to stab. I shielded my face with my arm. I hated snakes, but I hated guts even more.
"DIE YOU SONOVABITCH!" she said. By the time she was done, she was breathing hard. Nick was still standing by my abandoned chase looking stunned. His hands were buried in the pocket of his sweatshirt. His hoodie was tied around his head so that only his long blonde bangs poked out.
"Can we get back to bed?" one of the guys asked. There was an assention from the girls camphouse.
"I ain't sleepin," Darra said. "Who can sleep? I 'bout crapped myself."
She shoved her shoe back on her foot. I didn't even want to think about the snake goo on it. She stomped back into the camphouse. I heard her arguing with Victoria and the judge. The light went off in the guy's camphouse.
Nick looked over at me. I pressed my hand against my heart.
"You okay?" he asked. He seemed to be full of nervous energy; he was bouncing from foot to foot.
My body was wound tight. Between my dream and the terror of the snake...
"I'm okay," I said.
"Why were you sleeping out here?" he asked.
"I'm bottom bunk," I said. He nodded.
"Me too."
His shoes crunched towards me. I saw him step over the mass that just minutes ago had been a snake. He stopped when he was right in front of me.
"You know what you need?" he asked. His nose was practically touching mine. I shook my head. His arm came out of his sweatshirt and pressed against the side of my neck. He smiled.
"Well, I got it."
I was about to ask him what the hell he was talking about, but before I could, his fingers pressed harder into my flesh and he kissed me.
Even though the kiss was just what I had been playing out in my dreams, my inner bitch kicked in. I stepped back.
"What's the big idea?" I said hotly. He stepped forward.
"Relax. It's just a kiss."
I snorted. "I just had a snake crawling on me and you think I need a kiss?"
"Do you have a better idea?"
My mouth opened in hot retort, but I seriously couldn't think of anything to say. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to his body. It felt nice. He was tall; his shoulders were wide. His hands were huge. I had dated a lot of people who made me feel gigantic. He made me feel sort of balanced.
That was why, when he kissed me again, I didn't complain.
