When I opened my eyes, we were standing in an ornate office with wide picture windows that overlooked a busy city scape. Cars rushed by floors and floors below – maybe 24 levels or more. Sitting at a desk, back-to that breath-taking view, was Howie. He was wearing a slate-gray business suit and his hair was cut short, like a buzz. He barely looked like himself, he had a angry, pinched-looking expression on his face, and he was busily tapping away keys on a keyboard,staring at a screen through thick-lensed glasses. On his desk was a small, round photograph of Leigh, his wife, in black and white. The walls were lined with bookshelves with titles that pertained to real estate, mortgage values, and property laws.
“So Howie went into business with real estate?” I asked my father, glancing over my shoulder at him. “So he met Leigh. Not much changed here…” I felt relieved. I was glad that not much had been altered for at least some of the people I loved. My heart was still racing for Kristen.
“Well…” my father hesitated, “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Why’s that?” I demanded, “He ended up with Leigh, he must have James at home…” My father shook his head. “What?” I asked, confused.
My father sighed, “Howie’s a businessman, Kevin,” he explained, “Actually, he goes by Howard these days, too.”
“Howard?” I laughed. I looked at him. Well, Howard did sound more distinguished than Howie, I suppose. I frowned, “And what exactly does his being a businessman have to do with James?” I asked.
“Well he’s never home. He never had time to be with Leigh. They’re contemplating getting divorced, you know…” my father shrugged, “Because he’s never there, they never had the relationship that produced James.”
I stared at Howie. Nick had boasted quite loudly that he could pinpoint the night that James had been conceived. “It happened on the tour bus!” Nick had insisted, even though, mathematically, it didn’t make sense. “It’s so true,” Nick had shouted, “Howie and Leigh were goin’ at it like they were rabbits or something!” Howie had blushed and Leigh had laughed and called Nick exaggerative. “I am not,” Nick had pouted, looking at me with eyes pleading to understand, “They really were – like bunnies,” and with that, he held his arms up over his head to demonstrate rabbit ears.
“If the band hadn’t broken up, he still wouldn’t be home – he isn’t home anyways, why does being a businessman versus a music man make a difference in his life?” I asked, watching as Howie paused typing, rolled his chair backwards and stared at the screen for a long moment.
My father shrugged, “Perhaps the work contains less passion, tires him out more. How should I know? I didn’t claim to have all the answers to why things work out the way they did… just that this is what happened… since you don’t exist and all.”
Suddenly the phone on Howie’s desk rang and I jumped a mile in surprise. He didn’t even blink. He continued typing. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. Finally, he groaned and picked it up, glancing at his watch as he brought the phone to his ear. “Dorough Properties.” He paused, then sighed, agitated. “I told you I was going to be working late. A whole shitload of foreclosures went down this week and I want them all, if that’s quite okay with you….” He leaned back in his chair. “No. I won’t be home for dinner, just eat without me and leave it in the fridge. I’ll reheat it in the microwave.” He paused. “Then order out, I don’t give a damn, frankly.”
I looked at my father, aghast. “He’s not talking to Leigh like that… is he?”
My father nodded.
I looked back at Howie, pissed. I felt like boxing him up the ears and lobbing his nostrils off. How dare he, I thought. He has more manners than that…
“You don’t get it Kevin,” my father stated cooly. “He loves work and money more than he loves his wife.”
“But…” I frowned. “That’s not – Howie’s always – he’s…” I swallowed and closed my eyes. “Was he there…” I whispered, “When Hoke died?”
My father shook his head. “He didn’t care to be. He and his family broke apart a long, long time ago.”
“What about Caroline?” I asked, feeling my blood run cold.
“That’s what split them finally. Howie wasn’t there, he didn’t care.”
“But the Lupus Foundation…”
“Give money away to people who should be earning and working for their own money?” My father laughed, “Get into the mindset, son, he doesn’t care about anything except lining his pockets and padding his bank account.”
I felt those goosebumps return. I shook my head. “I had no idea I changed so much in so many of my friends lives…” I muttered.
“No?” my father smiled sadly. “And to think, the worst is yet to come.”
“The worst is yet to –“ I stammered, “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Their lives are shattered, Dad… How could it get any worse?”
He frowned. "Come on, son..."
And suddenly, I felt very... very... afraid.
