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I was freaking out. Of course I had done many interviews since my much talked comeback to the group, but the thought of being on the road again, living with the guys again and going through all of that again was terrifying me.

When I saw the room crowded with reporters and squealing fans, it hit me. Did I mention the squealing fans? I never thought I'd be hearing squeals from thirty-year-old women. Flash from cameras were almost blinding me. I was looking around lost in my own thoughts, and there was this photographer walking around the room taking pictures, why couldn't she just take a seat like everybody else? I mean...

“Right, Kevin?” I felt Nick's arm on my shoulder snapping me back “Oh yeah, definitely great. It's good to be back” I answered with a smile after only half listening to what Nick said about my comeback. I was glad Howie decided to continue on elaborating about me. I don't know why, but I wasn't doing all the talk as I usually would.

Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely thrilled to be back. I was doing what I loved and I still remember the first day at the studio when our voices fit perfectly like I had never left. The song we'd first sung together was an a Capella version of Shape of My heart, as we tested our voices and replacing keys and working on all the changes that happened since I left.

I can say things definitely changed. The guys were acting way more youthful than they would when I was around, their sound changed, their attitude changed and they were taking things more lightly as I'd often hear comments like “Relax a little, Kevin” “Dude, breath the fuck in, we won't miss the deadline” the cussed filled comments would always come from AJ.

They would hang out after recording and I'd just go back home, even Brian's wife would go clubbing with them every other time and I just wanted to go home. Home was a calm, happy place for me.

I had indeed become a cranky old man, but what could I do? I spent eight fucking years away from all of this! Did I miss it? Hell yeah! but I can freak out a little, can I?

“My question is for Kevin” That caught my attention and I realized it was the pic-happy-snappy girl. “You seem to be a little nervous, so tell me...Is it just me or this is really freaking you out?” The room filled with laughter and snappy girl arched her eyebrows and waited for an answer.

I wish she could have read my thoughts, but she only read my obviously freaked out expression “Yes, I am. I think I kind of forgot how it feels, I don't know it's just...” I paused “Overwhelming, that's all” I smiled hoping she was satisfied with what she got.

I think she was. She tilted her head back and a laugh came out of her bright honest smile “Thank you and welcome back” I smiled and nodded at her.

I shifted in the chair, tried to change my expression and pay attention to what was being said, I didn't want anyone to feel like I was bored or unhappy, because I was definitely not.

After the press conference was done, we took some pictures and went to a small cocktail that was being held for the press people that would be joining us for the next month. MTV and E! had their cameras rolling at all times, some fellow musicians were also there, I was mingling around when Howie called me out and waved at me.


He was standing next to snappy girl and she was chatting with his wife Leigh. “Kevin, this is Aline, she's with RS mag and she's going to travel with us” I switched the glass of wine in my hands and offered the other one for her to shake.

She had a strong hand-shake. She briefly introduced herself and I was surprised when she said she was from Brazil. Snappy girl was actually pretty nice, she wasn't one of those stuck up reporters that would act stupid when next to famous people.

Reporters like Nancy Dwell. She was an old acquaintance of ours and she was always trying to hit on one of us. I thought that would have changed, but I was wrong. Thank God my wife took me away from her.

Kristin was talking to one of the Universal executives. I wasn't really paying attention. I was looking for Nick, he was going to be a father and I haven't had the chance to congratulate him. When my eyes caught the back of his head, he and Lauren were talking to snappy girl. I watched as they laughed and Lauren hugged her. I'm sure they were talking about the baby.

Nick waved at AJ and his wife Rochelle and they joined the three of them. Then a couple of more people joined, then snappy girl was the center of all attentions as everybody seemed so interested in whatever the hell she was talking about.

I turned my back on them hoping they wouldn't notice me there. I was going to leave my wife and kid in a couple of hours and I wasn't in the mood to hear stories. Or maybe jokes? I don't know but they were all laughing when I made my move.