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Chapter 13


Leighanne and I were laying on the bus later that afternoon - it was one of our rare days off on tour - and watching a video Nick had left in the player. It was some kind of crazy zombie-Godzilla flick and Japanese cityfolk were running like crazy from a zombie dinosaur and screaming loudly as Tokyo fell subject to the stomping of the undead creature. Honestly, we'd stopped paying strict attention a long time ago. I was staring absently at the screen, though, stroking her shoulder, and breathing in the smell of her hair. Leighanne had her ear against my chest and was drawing a line down the center of it with her fingertip.

"Please?" she whispered.

Even though we hadn't been talking for the last couple hours and the subject hadn't even come up since she'd arrived the night before, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I shifted my head to look down at her, and she rolled her eyes up to look into mine. We stared at each other. Finally, I shook my head, "You're not gonna give that up, are you?" I asked, feeling slightly irritated. "I told you, Leigh, there's nothing wrong with my heart."

"Brian," she struggled to sit up and almost fell off the couch we were laying on. I caught her by the elbow and she rolled on top of me and stared down into my eyes. "I can hear it," she said, frowning, "Baby, I can hear there's something wrong. I'm just..." her eyes shifted to her finger tips. "Brian, I love you, I don't want you to die on me."

I smiled, "I'm not gonna die on you."

"You could," she argued.

"Honey, I'm fine," I insisted, "Really."

Leighanne was about to say something more when Nick came charging into the bus. Saved by the Blonde, I thought gratefully. Nick bounded into the living area where we were, and the room instantly stank of cigarette.

"Oh jeebus," I cried, "Nick -- You really shouldn't hang out with AJ when he smokes, you're starting to stink like it." I waved my hand in his general direction.

Nick's cheeks pinkened, but I didn't have time to wonder why. He broke into hyperspeed talking. "There's a Taco Bell, wanna go to Taco Bell Brian? Taco Bell has chalupas. I like chalupas, do you like chalupas? Why am I asking this? I know you like chalupas. Chalupas are CHALUPALICIOUS!"

Leighanne giggled, and Nick looked at her like he'd just realized she was there. He didn't extend the invitation to her though. "Oh Nick, if you love Taco Bell so much, you've gotta see this..." she jumped up off me and ducked out of the room.

Nick only half turned to see where she was going, then he turned back to me. "What do you say, bro?" he asked, flinging himself onto the floor next to the couch, his eyes wide, "WILL YOU COME TO TACO BELL WITH ME?" He was on his knees, he looked like he was proposing.

"I'm not really hungry..." I answered.

"You can time me - see how long it takes me to eat twenty tacos?"

"While that sounds absolutely thrilling," I started to tease him, but then Leighanne came back in the room with a teeny-tiny little dog. "Whoa!" I cried, my eyes widening.

Nick turned around and leaped to his feet. "What the fuck is that?" he demanded as Leighanne bent down and put the itty-bitty doggy on the floor.

I sat up. "Oh my gosh!" I cried as it wobbled towards Nick and I on long, spindle legs that looked like toothpicks. "You didn't tell me you brought Tyke!"

Nick looked at me, "What the fuck is a Tyke? Is that like a Tick?" he looked at the dog.

Lil Tyke moved closer towards us and Nick danced in place. "Dude, dude," he cried, staring down at it, "It's like a rat with Yoda's head!"

"Nick," I laughed as Tyke reached my feet. I scooped him up and hugged him to my chest. He was all warm. Nick was back-against the wall beside me, staring at Tyke with saucers for eyes. In fact, I think Nick's eyes were more bugged than Tyke's, which actually says quite a bit. "You're like an elephant with a mouse," I laughed.

Nick scowled.

"Wanna hold him?" I hoisted Tyke up.

"Fuck no!" Nick cried, "Jesus that thing is ugly as hell!"

"Aww," Leighanne pouted and came over to sit beside me on the couch. She reached over me and patted Tyke's back gently. "He's not uggggly," she whimpered. She pouted up at Nick, "He's a sweetheart. Give him a chance, you'll love him." She smiled.

Nick shook his head. Leighanne took Tyke and kissed the top of his head. "What the shit does that have to do with Taco Bell anyways?" he demanded.

"Dude, Nick..." I grabbed Tyke back from Leighanne, held him up and moved his paw as I spoke, "DROP THE CHALUPA."

Nick's eyes widened. "Oh my God, it's gonna steal my FOOD?" Leighanne cracked up and Nick's face turned stoney. "What? I need my food."

"No, Nicky, it's an advertising campaign," I explained, "You've never seen the ads for Taco Bell with the chihuahua?"

"The whatsa-whatsy-wha?" Nick asked.

"CHEE-WAAAAH-WAAAAAH," I said slowly.

Nick's eyebrows cinched together. "Chiapet?"

Leighanne was in stitches beside me. I grinned. "It's okay, Nick. You're cute. The girls will still like you."

Nick pouted. "Well I'm going to Taco Bell," he said, staring at Tyke as he slunk across the room toward the door. He hesitated at the door. "You sure you don't wanna come, Brian?" he looked over at me with pleading eyes.

I pulled Tyke to my chest. I was tired. Honestly, Leighanne was right, I did need to get my heart checked. I'd had low energy levels lately. The concerts were draining me and I didn't really feel like leaving the bus. Plus, as much as I love Nick, he's really tiring sometimes. Especially since I didn't dare to tell him that my heart really was bothering me lately. I knew he'd worry too much. I felt like I was protecting him by keeping it a secret from him.

"I'm really not hungry," I answered. "Thanks though."

Nick's mouth drooped into a frown.

"I could go for some Taco Bell, Nick," Leighanne announced, standing up. I blinked in surprise. Nick's head snapped up and he looked at her with a shocked look on his face. "I'll go with you," she continued, smiling.

"Leighanne..." I muttered. "I don't feel like going..." I said the words pleadingly.

"Stay here, then," she answered. She smiled at Nick. "Me and Nicky will go."

Nick's eyes bolted between me and Leighanne like he was watching a pingpong match. "Uh- I -" he stammered.

Leighanne crossed the room and tossed an arm over his shoulder. What she could reach of it anyways. She grinned up at him. "You and me, amigo," she said, "What do you say?"

"Uncle," Nick muttered.

"What?" Leighanne asked, not hearing his murmuring.

Suddenly, Nick's eyes darkened and a sinister grin clouded over his face. "I said,... YAY! LETS GO," Nick answered.

I watched as Leighanne cheerfully followed Nick off the bus, and wondered if he'd bring her back in one piece...


*****************


So many scenarios ran through my head as Leighanne and I stepped off the bus. In one, Leighanne just happened to trip in front of an RV filled with horny college cheerleaders wearing teeny tiny skirts going from city to city selling Thin Mint cookies. In another, Leighanne would bump into Danny Devito or who-the-hell-ever she was engaged to before she got her mitts on Brian and would run off to spend eternity grinding up on old wrinkly balls. In another--

"Brian loves Nachos Bell Grande," Leighanne said happily.

"Nu-uh. He loves hard shell tacos. Not the supremes, just the regulars. 'Cause you can buy a million of them for like five bucks."

Leighanne laughed. "I'll get him both."

I frowned. I didn't trust her for a minute. She was like a...a...Jezebe l! Yeah, that was it.

"Hey Leighanne?" I asked slowly. She looked at me. "Yeah?"

"What do you think about llamas?"

"Llamas?" she asked. I nodded. This was the make-or-break question.

"Well..." she paused. "I think they're really cute! Have you ever seen that book Is Your Mama a Llama?"

I sighed. My worst suspicions were confirmed. I just shook my head.

Leighanne rambled about llamas and Brian for the rest of the way to Taco Bell. I was never so happy in all my life when the girl behind the counter asked what she could get for me.

"Ten hard shell taco supremes, five soft shell tacos un-supreme, a cinnamon fry, a chicken quesadilla, and a Diet Coke."

Leighanne giggled. I looked at her grumpily.

"I like that you ordered a Diet Coke," she said. I snorted.

I stepped aside while Leigh ordered some stuff. From the sound of it, she should have just ordered a head of lettuce with a ketchup-size cup for a meat. I busied myself filling up my drink. "Hey Nick?"

I looked over at her. She was pressing her cup and Brian's to her jugs.

"Sup?"

Her face turned serious. "I have to admit I had an ulterior motive for coming here with you," she said.

I couldn't stop my eyebrow from lifting. What the hell?

Then I realized what she meant. Oh-my-cougar-sniffing-gawd. Leighanne was hot for me. She wanted the Carter cobra. Or---or---crap, she didn't want a threesome did she? Bri was my bro, but I didn't love him that much. Two girls and me, yes, but--

"I really need some support to get Brian to go in for surgery," she said.

I stared at her blankly. "Surgery?" I asked dumbly. I was still stuck on her having the hots for me. I knew Bri wasn't as loaded as I was, but I didn't think they did surgery for that...

"For his heart," she said. Her voice cracked. "He looks so tired. So weak. I'm just terrified he's going to push so hard he's going to die."

I was speechless. My mouth hung open. Leighanne was staring at me with big blue eyes.

"Er--" I finally said. I was saved by the counter girl calling my order number.

"Oh good, I'm starving!" I said loudly. I grabbed all of the plastic bags. The girl called Leighanne's number a second later.

"Nick, can you at least promise me you'll keep an eye on him?"

I turned. Leighanne was really serious. As much as I disliked her, I found myself nodding. She gave me a sparkly smile.

"Nick, you're the best!"

Of course I was. We headed back to the bus. It's amazing how everyone 'magically' appears once food arrives. I was licking nacho cheese sauce off my fingers when my cell phone made a weird noise. I had picked up a phone while we were at the Mall of the United States. I just hadn't told anyone yet. Actually, I hadn't figured it out yet. I studied the screen. Somehow it had gotten itself into record mode. I took off towards the bathroom, still licking cheese sauce off my fingers. I fiddled with the buttons. After a minute, a screech was heard and then the words--

"Nick, you're the best!"

Taken out of context it sounded kinda dirty. I played it back again. I put the phone down and washed my hands.

All my other traps had failed. But Bri was more sensitive than Leighanne. I had a feeling he was the more jealous one in the relationship. If I just happened to say that Leighanne had come onto me and then I reluctantly played the sound clip...

I smiled. It just might work. If Bri thought Leighanne was macking on his best friend, that wouldn't sit well. Then I'd have the old Bri back.

I was excited. I had another plan!

Mwhahahahahahaha!